Chai! How can I explain the fact that I went for an entire month without blogging? It's not like I've been busy or like I no get internet. Na just LAZINESS.But the good book tells us to forgive and forget so forgive me. :D
Now on to the topic at hand....
Wedding websites! You knowarramean!!! They are the new rage, they are everywhere, we all stalk Omosewa's blog to get our weekly fix (The yeye girl no too dey on par with the updates sef...hisss!), we all wanna read the 'how we met' stories and look at the pics of the couple. Sometimes the proposal stories have us wondering why we never ran into such a dude in our life time i.e. proposing with a brand new car, flying her to Dubai and Bahamas, all that intricate and romantic stuff. Those kind of proposals have us thinking that if it was formerly acceptable for bobos to take us to PF Changs and do a simple proposal, these genge proposals finna have us wanting the bobos wey go even carry us to Naija, South Africa and Rome all in one weekend sef...hehehehe.Yup, yup...wedding websites are the thing right now and you know you love it!
But one day after running into a friend's ex-boyfriend's wedding website, I had to stop and think. The fact be say, this world na very small place and now it's no longer a case of you randomly stumbled across some random couple's site. These days you be randomly stumbling across the wedding website of someone you know.
Hence my inspiration for this post; The different perspectives on wedding websites. Oya grab ya nkwobi and odeku while you try and figure out which category you fall into.
Category 1:- The Innocent onlooker: Most of us fall into this category. You randomly came across the site; you've never even coughed within 20 miles of the couple. You read their story, ooohed and ahhed over their romantic tale and forwarded the site to your friends.
Category 2:- The Shakara woman: Oh yes! You know yourself! The bobo toasted you die but you made shakara. He blew up your phone, tried to wine and dine you but no o! ‘He’s too short’, ‘He’s too fat’, ‘He doesn’t drive a BMW’. You nexted him for those reasons. And then, he got the message and moved on. You didn’t see him again until Lo and Behold, your friend forwarded you his wedding website and your first thought was like DAMN! Bobo don lose 30 lbs, looks like he ate some beans and grew taller and cat damn, he proposed to his wife by flying her to the Bahamas and buying her a BMW. Internally, you just wither! You’re mentally kicking yourself like ‘O girl, you don eff up serious one o’. If only you had shaken bodi small, maybe na you for dey enjoy with a brand new beemer and a fresh tan from you vacay in the Bahamas, not to mention the blinding rock that would have been on your finger. Oh well, oh well…
Category 3:- The Ex:Once again, most of us fall into this category. Most, if not all of us have exes (Unless you’ve been living under a rock or you just lucked out and married the first man you dated). It doesn’t matter how things ended, could have been on a sour note or a good note but you run into his wedding website and you start to remember how good things were between you two. How he showed up at midnight on your doorstep with flowers in an effort to apologize for an argument y’all had, how he used to beat the nana realllll good during the make up kpansh session, how he went down south and stayed down south in the backseat of his ride that random night that y’all was feeling extra frisky, how he…..Ya dig! :DYou remember all these things, think about how the new wifey is gonna enjoy that for her lifetime and you sigh and move on.
Category 4:- The Other woman who aint know she was the other woman: Unfortunately, some of us do fall into this category. You met him on July 4, 2007 at the Naija reunion, he stepped to you and his game was tight. You were swayed and y’all got it on and poppin’. 1yr and a half later, he gave you some bullsheet reason for not wanting to carry on and it was the end of you and him. You’re still kinda salty about the way ish went down and whenever his name is mentioned, you still roll your eyes. One day, you randomly stumble across Omosewa’s blog and his wedding website is among the list of featured sites. You click on it and dammit! You can’t believe what you are reading. His how we met story says that he met his fiancée on that same July 4, 2007 and they have dated ever since.You are SPEECHLESS and very much saddened by the trifling nature of men in this present day and age…
And there you have it. I think I have covered the 4 main categories but if any others spring to mind, feel free to add.
Mgbeke is bizack!!!
PS:- Shoutouts to the Illmatic one for kinda, sorta inspiring this post.