Taynement made me do this...
As much as it seems that everybody and their mama is getting engaged and married, I still feel that there are a LOT of single folks out here on these streets with no significant others in sight.
Speaking of marriage, maaan people dey code sha. I remember back in May 2011 when my family friend stopped by my spot, and we were talking about how it’s a tough life out on the single streets. As I dey yarn, babe dey follow me yarn. I even asked…"How far na? Any better?" and she was like “Mann, nothing dey o”. Fastforward to November, and my mom announced that this same family friend was planning her traditional AND white wedding for December 2011 with a guy that she had been with for 4 years. I was like hia! O_o… Omo, these days you can’t assume that everybody that is following you to yarn singility really is single. Babes and Goiz are coding things hard. I mean, I understand not deliberately wanting to announce your status to the world, but if folks flat out ask if you’re seeing someone why code? Ah wellz, to each his and her own.
There was another instance of coding where another babe who we know coded her relationship die! Then on her wedding day, she uploaded traditional pictures as her BB DP and it was like “Woahh, this chick was even seeing someone in the first place?”. Apparently, even her close friends were kinda sorta in the dark. LOL.
You ever notice all those folks on Twitter who tweet things like “Chilling in the VIP with @xxx and @yyy”, "Sushi and champagne with my girlies" or “Relaxing at home with a glass of Pinot Noir and some scented candles” etc etc. Those tweets actually crack me up. How come no one ever tweets about the regular azz events in their lives like “Sipping on some fanta and watching TV”, "meatpie and "mineralsss" at Mr. Biggs" or “now sitting at home reading a book” but must tweet all the so-called "posh" events like “Enjoying some Thai food and white wine with my BFFs”. Hilarity.
I think that “old age” has finally caught up with me. For the last couple of months, this is how I spend a typical weekend: Get home on Friday after work, park my car and not move it until I go to church on Sunday (only recently), or work on Monday morning. I think the last time I actually dressed up for an event was in October. Ah ah, this kent be life na. I tried to blame it on winter hibernation, but apparently I wasn’t that much better in the summer either. I’m sure my girl is tired of inviting me to things. She sends me invites every week and I tell her that I’m studying (which I am supposed to be doing actually :-/). Welp! Gats do better this summer sha. And, ah well, if nothing else I can continue to look fondly on the summer of ’09 (my most fun-filled and the bestest summer so far) and ride on those memories :-D
Yours truly is a product junkie. I have phases where I’m into different things. At some point, it was pashmina scarves. Then it was berets and hats. Then it was sunglasses. Lately, it’s been beauty products and lipstick!!! (Ulta is the devil y’alll)… I don’t know when I turned into some sort of mini-lipstick junkie but I have entirely way too many tubes. Which is fine, ‘cos I’m that girl who will wear bright lipstick to run an errand. Lipstick must not waste.
Look, if you ever have to rent a car…bone up and pay that extra $50 or whatever for rental insurance. I rented a car over Thanksgiving break, and was feeling cheap so decided not to get rental insurance ‘cos I have personal auto insurance. Long story short, I hit a rock while parking, and Geico only shelled out like $250 to cover the claim and I had to pay over $600 in out of pocket expenses. E dey pain. Learn from me y’all.
Like I said, you have Taynement to thank for this post…and the post before this actually. That is one friend who actually tries to hold me accountable. For instance, in my soon to be 29 years on planet Earth, I had never been to the Gynecologist and for as long as I’ve known Taynement, she’s been harassing me to go to the Gyno. Soooo after a recent threat *gulp*, I decided to cart myself to the gyno. Trust me, it was the most uncomfortable/awkward 5 minutes of my life yooo but heyy, I did it! So, let me harass some of you too…go to the gyno (if you haven't) !!! LOL. Might I add that after the Gyno, I was feeling extra motivated and subsequently scheduled appointments with the dentist and an physician for an annual checkup…so I’ve done my good healthy thing for 2012, to be continued annually from this point on. Amin!
On that note, I get the impression that most people in Naija don’t do the regular medical and dental checkups. Like here in Yanks, they preach to you… “Go for your annual gyno checkup”, “get your annual physical”, “get your teeth cleaned every X months”…but in Naija, it seems that folks just be smooth sailing and living seemingly long and healthy lives. It is only by the grace of God o jare.
I should do a post on the things I've learned off Twitter, but here's one of them from Nigerian Twitter: Everything tastes like struggle. Every single thing. Beans? "Such struggle food"... Jollof rice? "Struggleeee", Garri? "Nah men...that's all about the struggle". I'm waiting for the day that someone will say that filet mignon tastes like struggle. It is coming soon.
And that is all she said...
Till we relate again. Peace, Love, and Hair Grease.