First of all, can I just say a very belated happy new year to you all? My happy New Year wishes on this blog are always quite belated…but you know my mentality of “better late than never” which definitely rings very true this month. January never even finish and I’ve heard of more than enough deaths and seen more RIPs that I’ve cared to see. We thank God for his mercies in keeping us thus far and I pray that we won’t have cause to mourn any of our loved ones this year, AMIN.
Now onto the gist of the day…
Recently I was having a conversation with 2 male coworkers about men and their levels of income, and what I was willing to accept based on such levels. They asked if I could date a man who I made more money than, and I said yes. They then followed up with “would you date a man who made X dollars less than you?” And my response was No.
Nna ehn, you go fear vex. They started preaching to me about how superficial we women can be and blah blah and ended the tension-filled rant with “A lot of you women miss out on a good man who can treat you right because you are so focused on money and finances”.
Ultimately their rants fell on deaf ears for 2 reasons:
1. I am far from materialistic.
2. A woman is still allowed to have preferences yanno.
3. I’m so over people tensioning said women about their preferences and then pulling out the "a man who makes less money/doesn’t have swag/isn’t fine/[and all the other “disadvantages” that he may have] will treat you right so stop aiming high"
It’s like the formula for a good man these days is one who falls below a woman’s standards and expectations because “OMG, Swagger boys are trouble (which I admit most of them are but still…), Accomplished men are entitled azzholes, and a simple guy will treat you like a queen”. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is where I have to call BS on such tales by moonlight. What are we basing such cool tales on?
It has not gotten to the point where it is a sin for a woman with an MBA to say that she wants a man who also has an MBA because "gosh, relax your standards...besides men with MBA are jerks. Go for the LPN or CNA instead, he will love you well well", "or go for the man with an Associates degree, he will treat you better". Such yeye talk.
After talking to my family friend about a recent relationship that didn’t end too well for her, and how she heavily relaxed her standards for the guy who turned out to not even be worth the hassle at all, I said that I’ll be darned if going forward, I open my mouth and advise any woman to compromise on what she wants from a man. I might not find it to be reasonable but you know what, your life is yours to live and my 2 cents doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme. If any woman gets up today and says that she won’t marry until she can snag a Dangote, I won’t vex because what she chop no dey make my bele run. There is no guarantee that she will find happiness with broke Mufasat from the street so who am I to advise her to give up her dreams of snagging a Dangote type? In the end, even if she never finds what she wants and chooses to stay single because of that, that’s her own concern and nobody else’s. Folks might be sniggering behind such a woman’s back on some “that’s why she’s still single” but hey, she’s single and probably happier than settling for a man who didn’t meet up to her expectations and constantly having to compare him to other people’s richer husbands. Her choices are her choices.
Men can be the most superficial individuals but nobody tells them “Give up your dreams of catching a Beyonce, because a Beyonce will not treat you right but a Whoopi will”. Nope, never heard that before. So why do we preach to women to relax their standards on some phantom theory that the man that they relaxed their standards for will be the knight in shining armor? Idongerrit.
Sha sha like I said, I sure as heck won’t be the one to tell a woman that she can’t want what she wants. #Yesshecan2015!
What’s that saying? Aim for the stars and you will get the moon or something like that…
It’s not ontop singlehood that babes will just fall for any and everything on top of “he will treat you like a queen”. Cool stories that chill the bones.
Come to think of it, all the extra superficial, high-azzed requirements babes that I know actually ended up with their exact spec so who said that its not good to want the better things in life. And hey, even if their husbands might be jerks, like I’ve said and will say…isn’t it better to cry in a Maserati than cry inside Molue cos the way I see it is this…rich or poor, a jerk is still going to be a jerk so don’t be there heavily relaxing your standards for any bruv that aint cutting it for you.
*Steps off Soapbox*
Now before I peace out, I just want to quickly shamelessly plug my girl Taynement’s website over at www.taynement.com. It’s definitely my go-to for new shows to watch e.g. Jane the Virgin, The Affair, and it's gingered me to get back on old abandoned shows like Masters of Sex.
She also features great episode recaps (Scandal, anyone??), movie reviews, and everything relevant that you need to know about pop culture. And since its award season, www.taynement.com is definitely the place to camp out since she usually posts predictions that are pretty darn accurate, as well as great red carpet features and commentary (Check her out on Twitter too: @taynementdotcom). So head on over, get your entertainment fix and thank me later!
Peace and Love brethren.