Razz is the new cool.

On Being too Picky, Settling etc etc…

2012-02-01T18:30:00.010-05:00

The other day, my mom and I were discussing an eligible bro who was ready to get married and identified my sister as the one for him. Unfortunately for him, my sister wasn't feeling his ringtone. It was a bit of a dilemma for her because she said that while he looked absolutely amazing on paper and seemed like he would make a good husband, good father etc etc, she just didn't feel that connection with him. I said you know what sis? There is absolutely nothing that is doing you. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you want to at least be excited about whoever you choose to spend the rest of your life with...Right? Right.

Sooo, as I dey yarn…me and momsie were discussing this matter and my mom just couldn’t understand why my sister would let a grounded and eligible bro like that pass her by. In an effort to do voltron force, I said “Mommy abeg, she’s not feeling the dude naa so allow her”…Omooo, momsi just vex! In a rare outburst of frustration, she said “Ehn, you and your sister are so picky, always talking about connections and compatibility…if you guys do not take care, both of you will be left on the shelf”. I had the O.O expression on my face, then I was like whaaat? and I burst into a fit of laughter. I mean, it was quite funny actually...like say what now?? After I laff finish, I was like “Ah ahnn, Mommyyyy”. But she was on a roll…

She now proceeded to give me the following examples:

“Do you think that Uncle A was this well dressed and polished when Aunty B met him? Nooo, she polished him and molded him”.

“Do you think that Uncle X was this accomplished when he met Aunty Y?”

Etc etc.

She rounded off by stating that my sister dearest and I are always going on and on about this connection thing, or saying that a guy is too this and too that but you can grow to love your husband in a marriage.

I mean, that day my mama show me say this matter wey her daughters never marry dey seriously chook am. Ya know, I ain’t even mad at her. She has spent too much money on other people’s asoebi and it’s about time that folks kwa come and spend money on her own asoebi. The Lord is on the throne.

But…

Dag. Can I at least want what I want, and not want to settle without folks thinking that I’m being too picky? I’m not stuck in a bubble where I think that everything that I say or do cannot be challenged. I know what it means to be too picky and I don’t consider myself to be unreasonable with it. I mean…I would love my dude to come pre-packaged and ready made to fit a good portion of the elements that I’m looking for. Like why do I have to be the one to polish and mold him? As you see me so, I’m a constant work in progress and I’m not waiting for superman to swoop in and upgrade me. Na me wey go upgrade myself. So, if I meet a guy who I feel isn’t up to what I would like then no, it’s not my game plan to “just go with it and try to change him to fit my ideal over the course of time”. Sorry momma.

Settling

I read a very interesting blogpost the other day that made me think. Long story short, a bride is walking down the aisle soon and she feels no butterflies or extreme excitement for her groom. But she knows that he’s a wonderful man, and will make a good husband etc etc (I paraphrase).

After I was done reading, I asked myself…would I want to do this/would I do this? And as of today, my answer is no. For me, having a connection/spark/butterflies/excitement is so necessary. I need to be excited about my significant other, I need to have a great connection with him and I need him to stimulate me in every single way. I have never been in love or loved, but I absolutely know that I want to be in love and love whoever I decide to spend the rest of my life with. I do not want to just marry whoever because he looks good on paper and hope that he will grow on me as time goes by or hope that I grow to love him. What if he doesn’t? What if I don't? Will I now spend the rest of my life wondering "what if I had waited to see what else was out there?"....

Now I realize that friendship is key because ultimately you need to be with someone who is your friend, and so I want a man who will be my friend, and all of the above and more sef...I get open eye na :D

I’m not even game for that “let a man grow on you” mentality. I’ve done it once…dude was really sweet and we had good convo, and so even though I knew that I didn’t feel any kind of spark/excitement for him, I was like hey let’s give it a shot and maybe he will grow on me. It never happened and along the course of the relationship, he was way more into me than I was into him. I mean, he made a great boyfriend and I will recommend him to anybody…but it was just not for me.

Yep...I'm not trying to be about that "I can grow to love him" life. Like I always say...the world will question your decisions and offer their opinions i.e. My mom telling us that we can grow to love our husbands in marriage, but ultimately when I marry the man, it's just gonna be both of us. My mom ain't going follow me into my marital home and follow me as I try to love my husband sooo....

Now in terms of the person who wrote that post, I can’t say that she settled. Everyone has their own kini when it comes these matters and so I’m just speaking for myself and what I want.

What do you guys think? Are butterflies overrated? Is excitement overrated? What is settling to you? - Please excuse the JAMB questions. Hehehehe.

Aniwoos jare, it's the month of February but it's not too late to say Happy New Year abi? I really haven't had much to say in general and so I've just been chilling. Figured I would post this up while it's still fresh on my mind.

I hope y'all are all safe, sound and at peace.

We go relate.

On Weight, Body Type, and Related Yarns

2011-12-07T22:09:00.008-05:00

Curvy women

I have always admired curvy women. I think that they just exude a certain level of sexiness. It seems that most guys see a curvy woman and thinks “child bearing hips = future mother of my chilluns” or “Damn! That ass is phat” and such things of that nature. Heck, me sef I’m convinced that if I was a dude, I would definitely be the type to gravitate towards the curvy ladies. I’m talking about the figure 8 type, with some nice thick thighs, and supporting endowments on the back and front. Nothing do them jare, curvy women are definitely sexy. For instance, much as everyone swears that ToolzO wears body magic, and is truly fat…I’m like whatever she is doing works very well for her, and I think that she is one hot chick with an awesome figure. Now curvy/thick is obviously very relative because I seem to be in the minority of individuals who do not think that ToolzO is fat, but apparently a number of folks do. To that I say…to each his/her own.

The funny thing is…most of the curvy women that I know want to lose weight. My friend who has that figure 8 shape and constantly has all the dudes panting after her, thinks that slim and trim women are so hot. I’m like are you serious? Dudes look at women like you and automatically classify you as sexy, without you even trying to do anything. Hiphop artists and rappers constantly compose songs that elevate women like you. Mayne, if I had her shape, I would rock the heck out of it. As a woman on the slim/non-curvy side of life, I highly doubt that most cats see me and the first thing that springs to their heads is “Whoa, she's sexaaay” or “her body is the business”…in fact, the other day I had to ask via twitter if there are any dudes out there who gats love for us non-thick ladies ‘cos I feel like the curvy ladies are what every guy talks about these days. I mean, everywhere you turn these days, dudes are pushing out tweets such as “no country for chicks with no nyash” or “A-cup chicks will die alone”, “Thick women rule, only dogs deal with bones” etc etc…LOL. Please, if you have figure 8 + endowments biko rock am well o. It’s a cold world on this side of life… *chuckles*.

Guys and their yarns

But while we are talking about guys and their constant yarniz on the internet...forget matter sha 'cos guys just like to yarnnn. A lot of dudes use social media such as Facebook and Twitter to state that they want this or that. I mean, peep this gist of body type...I swear, I've seen enough yarns from dudes who state that if a woman isn't thick, then no hope for her. In my opinion, all na tales by moonlight. Like I once responded to a dude and his "no country for a-cups tweet", you can evict us to the next country, but in the end you guys will still come to that country and marry us a-cuppers. I have a friend who is at most a size 2, with small boobs and literally no ass…I lovingly call her a chicken wing. But I swear to y’all that this girl’s game is on a kentro level. I always tease her and say that she lives that “Sex and the city” kind of dating lifestyle. Chick pulls dudes any and everywhere…pumping gas o, grocery shopping, sitting at the bar at T.G.I.F, crossing the street, walking into work... you name it. She is constantly going out on dates in her size 2 fabulousness. So, every time I hear of a new date, I chuckle and think… so much for dudes wanting to ship women like her to the next country. I bet half of the dudes who see her and ask her out, have stated on Twitter and FB that any chick they deal with had better have the type of booty that you can sit a cup on. Moral of the story is: If you’re the sort to take what guys yarn on the interwebs to heart, re-think your strategy ‘cos in my opinion all na yarns. If a guy likes you, he likes you...size 1 self and all.

Weight…in general

I have to say sha…I do enjoy the privileges of being on the slimmer side of life. I can walk into McDonalds and supersize 2 meals, and guess what…no one will give me the side eye. My 300lb counterpart walks into McDonalds, and probably already gets the judgmental stare before he/she places an order. I like my weight, and have no complaints about it (except for the fact that hip-hop artists do not dedicate lyrics to girls like me…can someone say discrimination???). I’m not the type to balk at a few lbs gained here and there, but I realize that the more I see some people and do the mental double take like “dayumm, what happened, he/she used to be so slim?”…I truly truly do not want to be that person. In an ideal world, I will remain a size 6 forever…post-kiddies and all. I don’t know about that sha, because while I’m currently blessed with having the type of body that allows me to eat a bunch of nonsense, and not gain much weight, I’ve been told countless times that this will catch up with me in the future… *gulp*.

In general, the the weight/body type topic is an interesting one, and it’s even more interesting to see everyone’s views on it. For some, the grass looks greener on the other side and for others, they are just fine chilling on their own turf. Some people obsess about their weight, and others don’t give it much thought. Whichever category that you fall into, nothing do you o jare. If you be orobo and happy with it, kudos. If you be lepa, and proud of it, kudos. If you’re an orobo wanting to turn into a lepa, good luck…and if you’re a lepa who wan turn into orobo, good luck to you too. Oh, I won’t forget the “in-betweeners”… make una keep on keeping on too o jare. Na one love wey go keep us together…

Okay, I obviously need to sign off now ‘cos I have started to yarn jagjagbantis.

Peace and Love.

Random Musings on the Single Status

2011-11-21T20:54:00.007-05:00

I had a funny convo the other day:

Him: How long have you been single?

Me: Since XYZ

Him: Wow, you must be lonely.

Me: Actually, not at all. I quite like my solitude as a matter of fact, and I never feel lonely.

Him: Oh, please.

Me: Seriously.

Him: As humans, we need companions…

Me: No, we might want companionship but we don’t NEED companionship. We NEED air, food and water. Those are vital to our existence. As a single girl, I’m still alive and breathing…

Him: No, we need companionship and you need companionship. Man and woman are meant to be together, you need a man. How do you manage in the winter time?

Me: *Burst out laughing*…what kind of question is that? (like seriously, the hell kinda question was that???) I pay my BGE bill and can afford to turn on my heat and stay warm in the winter. Besides, man and woman are meant to be together or whatever, but it doesn't have to be right now for me.

Him: Keep it real. You know that deep down, you feel alone and need a man in your life…

Me: You know what? I’m not even going to go back and forth with you on this because regardless of what I say, you have already formed your solid opinion on this issue soooo moving on…

Mgbeke: 1. Dude: 0

If you've been reading this blog for a while or you know me, you probably know that I can voltron for the single matter die! But omo, I don dey tire to have these conversations. Everybody is convinced that every single girl out there is incomplete and lacks something in her life, and no matter the amount of self-voltroning that you try to do…folks see it as you trying to console yourself, and not keeping it 100%.

I don’t know about the other ladies on single street, but as for me…I can tell you without any element of doubt, that in my current and very singular state, I feel very fine. It’s not even something that I actually sit and think about like “Whoa. I’m single”. I just dey live my life jeje, trying to live it to the fullest, and I ain’t sweating my relationship status. Real talk.

After a long day out and about, I go home to my solo existence and I do not feel like “dagg, it would be nice to have a dude to snuggle up to” or “there is something missing in my life”. Plus, I never feel lonely. My mom expressed her concern about this once like “sometimes I worry about you, living all alone…don’t you ever get lonely?” and I said no. Much as I can be a people person, I also enjoy my solitude. I remember growing up, when I went home for summer holidays and midterm breaks, I used to look forward to weekdays when my parents would go off to work, and my siblings would find their respective square roots…leaving me, myself and I to do whatever I wanted to, undisturbed for a couple of hours. That was bliss. Years later, this hasn’t changed. I enjoy cocooning myself in my own little world aka my apartment and doing as I please…undisturbed, so why I go feel lonely?

Everybody is always trying to project their own feelings about the single state on us single babes…like ahn, ahn. You don’t see me running up to boo’ed up/married individuals like “wow, you must hate XYZ” or “you must be tired of ABC”…so all of you that like to tell us how we must feel about being single, should chill. Like I don talk…I’m good. I’m single, I’m not lonely, and as a matter of fact…I enjoy the freedom of choice that comes with being single. I do not have to answer to or consider anybody at this point. If I want to pack my load and relocate to Germany, I’m free to do it. I come and go as I please, and I’m free to just do me. I cook when I feel like it (which can be once a month), if I want to, I can sleep in for an entire weekend, and if I feel like it, I can pack up for a weekend in Vegas with the homies, just because…all na my prerogative. As everybody tries to paint the business of being single in the most negative light, like a plague that must be avoided, nobody remembers "perks" such as the ones that I stated above.

Oh, and I’ve definitely noted how a good percentage of boo’ed up/married individuals never keep it real on the commitment tip. They want you to feel like having a significant other is the ultimate and best thing that can ever happen to you...to complete your life and validate your existence on planet Earth, while they conveniently hide the fine print. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that to be single is the ultimate while it sucks to be committed but I just feel like folks are so pressed to put down the single status, and try to make us single folks feel like there is something wrong, and nobody really yarns the real koko about what goes down on the other side. They conveniently forget to tell us that relationships and commitment require work, and that it’s not always a rainbow colored bed of roses. Even the people that are miserable in their relationships want to come and feel funky on top matter. Like we will say on ndi Twitter, biko shift.

As a single 28 year old, and in more real talk, my biggest concern about the possibility of not getting married before 30 is that the later in life that I get married, the less time off I can take before having children. Ideally, I would love a 1+ year break while I swing off chandeliers with my hubby....shey you get my ring tone na!

Other than that, I do not feel the time crunch of “I gats get married before 30”. I’ve always wondered why 30 is that magic age…

Like someone on Twitter brilliantly put it, and I paraphrase… “Even if you get married at 35 and you and your husband live for 50 years, that’s a long time to be married”. And to that, I say word! We pray to God for his mercies and long life and prosperity in our marriages, so if he grants me and the hubby 50 years, that’s a long time for real. So why shall I rush? Like I always say, this marriage ehn…some people will marry and say to themselves… “So this is the marriage that I was hustling to enter”.

So, till the significant other/marriage comes, I am maximizing and making the most of my single life. Me, wey like sleep...when husband + pikins come, I won’t have that luxury o. Or the current luxury of not bothering to cook and ordering take out 4 days a week. Ahn ahn…omo I can’t take these things for granted. I’m sure some of these married women that are bouncing bomboy on their lap even look at us single ones with a tinge of envy for the total freedom that we have. Like they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. So yeah, I'm single...and so what? I'm alive, I'm kicking, I'm living a relatively good life, and I sure am staying warm...shoutouts to BGE ;)

Peaze and Love.

Tales of a Thriftaholic

2011-10-24T22:13:00.003-04:00

After Steve Jobs died, I watched a speech that he gave at Stanford University’s 2005 graduation ceremony. It was a beautiful speech and one of the things that he discussed was finding your passion. Passion, passion, passion. That’s all I keep hearing these days and for the most part, it has frustrated me because I do not think that mine is clear cut. I mean, there are things that I enjoy doing, but nothing really keeps me up at night.

So, I was telling my friend how everyone always speaks on passion, and I wonder if I will ever find mine. She was “Err…you are into fashion and thrifting”. Fashion? Not really. Contrary to popular belief, I really don’t be checking for fashion like that. When I think of fashion, I don’t think of Fashion Week and all its cousins, the latest trends, what is in this season, and what will be out next season, and brand names. I’m not interested in any of the above. Now, on the other hand, I enjoy seeing good style. I peruse Tumblr for constant style candy, I read street style blogs whenever I get a chance (love, love street style…it’s as real time as it gets), and I selectively check some fashion blogger’s websites because I like their style. So yeah, I like style. But, when it comes to thrifting…yes Lawddd! As soon as my friend put this in perspective, I said ah, thrifting is indeed something that I have a serious love for…it might not keep me up at night, but it is something that I really enjoy doing and I figured, why not dedicate a post to it?

See, I have never turned my nose up at the “bend down select”, second hand wearing lifestyle…even going back to my days in PH, when babes would sneak into Oil Mill market on Wednesday mornings to charter the latest baffs straight from Cotonou (or so the traders claimed). I would drop N500 for a cute top and be feeling as funky as the next girl who got her own top from boutiques like Collectibles where tops were priced at N2000 +. A girl has never been ashamed of her game. It has never been about where I bought it from, but more about how I could put an outfit together. Coming over to Yanks, I fell off that life because I had not discovered thrift stores and didn’t know about the endless possibilities, so I resorted to the same ol’ same ol’ mall shopping runs. Then, I moved off to a college town and discovered a consignment store named Plato’s Closet (google it, they probably have one in your city). For those of you, who aren’t familiar with Plato’s, it is pretty much a buy-and-sell store where you buy clothes that someone else got tired of wearing and sold to the store, or you can sell your own clothes that you are tired of wearing…after all, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Plato’s pretty much turned my College style game around. I went from dry baffs to straight up killin’ em :-D. I would walk into our college African Student Association meetings and folks would be like “damn, Mgbeke you no gree for us o”. I mean, the store was hooking me up with brands like Steve Madden, Nine West, H&M, Urban Outfitters, Bebe etc etc for $10 or less. I still have pieces that I copped from Platos dominating my closet today, including a pair of Leopard print pumps that I got for $10 that are currently a form of every day Jesus these days…

Unfortunately, after graduation, I moved away from my College town and missed the hell out of Plato’s. But, one day while running errands, I discovered a lonely looking Salvation Army store in my hood, and so I ventured in there and walked out with a sequin bandeau, a red mini skirt, and a black knee length leather skirt – all for less than $10. And that’s pretty much how I started thrifting. Shortly after that, my friends introduced me to the wonders of Value Village* thrift store and it was officially a wrap.

*If you’re into the thrifting lifestyle, Value Village always has way more cute finds than your typical Salvation Army/Goodwill (as I’ve noticed in the MD area). I think that all the stylish people donate to VV :-D.

Since then, thrifting has been a way of life…almost an addiction even (okay, who am I kidding? It’s addicting and I am an addict). Value Village has 25% off Thursdays, and back in the day, I was at VV like almost every single Thursday. You buy a huge bag full of clothes for less than $30? Hellooo, sign me up! Now, I’ve seriously calmed the heck down…but I still feel that rush of excitement every time I’m about to walk into a Thrift store…like “what am I going to find today?”, and trust me, I have found plenty. Gorgeous jumpsuits, dresses, tops, pants, skirts, coats and accessories that ranged from $2 to $20 max (with $20 being the priciest items). Absolutely winning on all levels. I do everything from high end thrifting (read: Organized consignment stores like Buffalo Exchange and Mustard Seed) to low end (taking it to Salvation Army, Goodwill, and Value Village)…all na thrifting.

I’m such a thriftaholic that I google thrift stores in every city that I visit, and swing by to see what I can find in that city. On that note, I still maintain that so far in my experience, California has the best thrift and vintage finds. Unparalleled.

All in all, thrifting has been good to me. I think that at this point, my closet is primarily composed of (a) Thrift store finds (b) Urban Outfitters attire (my 2nd great love...but let's not deviate from this topic). I get more bang for my buck...$20 can get me 4-5 items on a good day. I'm out there wearing $5 dresses, $3 tops and carrying $4 bags and feeling like a G6 while I'm at it. Plus, when you thrift you are primarily guaranteed to have one unique item that no one else will have...note that primarily is the key word. I will say though, that I do not buy into the whole idea of tagging everything that you thrift as "vintage". I've seen Forever21 attire at thrift stores, and last time I checked, that is far from vintage...but moving on...

On a final note, thrifting is definitely not for everyone. Not everyone can get with the idea of wearing something that was previously owned, and not brand new and shiny from a store in the Mall. Plus, not everyone has the patience to dig through thrift stores…and in the game of thrifting, you have to be patient. But hey, if you need help and wanna pay me…I will gladly thrift for you :-D.

Cheers.

PS:- 48, what happened to your blog?

Texas Tales

2011-09-26T02:31:00.006-04:00

This past weekend, I hopped on a plane to Texas (TX) for a childhood friend's wedding. As usual, I had a great time. But over the course of the weekend, I got comments like "You are always in TX o" or "Wow, girl you stay in the air" (The person who made this comment has seen me in Dallas/Houston a couple of times)...someone even joked that I'm in Houston every month. I also got comments from individuals (who have seen me at a few TX weddings), who asked me why I was at the wedding i.e. Do I know the couple? insinuating that I obviously don't have better things to do with money, and jump at the chance to fly cross country to attend weddings as someones guest...(I really don't care what they really meant, that's how I read it o...actually one foolish one straight up stated he thought I was attending as someone's guest...*blank stare*). I mean, in regards to flying cross country as a "plus-one", I've done that a few times but I saw it as hey, this is a good chance to get away and hang with my friend who I only get to see every so often. But of course, folks will probably not see it that way... I was mentally like wowzers! It's not your fault sha, na my own fault. I'm officially done with that plus-one life. But this aint really about that...

But ya know what? I have to admit that everyone who made the "I stay in TX" comments was on to something because apart from NY (which is my backyard), I think that TX is like my most visited state...and TX is nowhere near my backyard. Between weddings, a once upon a time LDR, birthdays, gateways to hang with friends, spring break in '04 (Hiii Naks) etc etc, I have visited the great state of TX entirely way too many times and after this last trip I decided that I'm officially over it. Likeee I will happily stay away from that joint for as long as I need to. I have over-exceeded that quota o jare, na why people wan carry me to do "see finish" abi? I don’t blame them sha, me sef I don see them finish. In fact, I'm so over the place, that I've officially crossed Houston off my “cities I’d love to relocate to” list. Mafakas there drive way too slow anyway... Tha bloood! Folks acting like they don't got somewhere to be. Narnsense. So yeah yeah, I woke up this morning, analyzed the koko and decided that I'm off this yo!

PS:- Vivi stop snickering in a corner, I see you!

But while we are discussing TX stuvvs, I've generally observed that the men on that end seem to be a lot more forthcoming/serious minded than men on the East Coast. It seems that dudes out there aren't shy about approaching women, compared to the East Coast where dudes sef will be forming for babes, and babes are the ones hustling. Re: Serious minded guys. Omo, there were plenty young married/engaged/long term boo'ed up dudes in the vicinity. I'm talking under 30. You don't see a lot of that around these parts. So ladies, if you're wondering where the serious minded (eligible?) men might be then TX could be the spot. Houston has a lot of young, successful bros in the oil and gas industry and they don't have state income tax taken out of their paychecks, their housing is relatively cheap, and cost of living is low = more money for him to carry and buy you Gucci leathers and "Loubatans". I might be done with the area, but I'm all for helping my sisters out and pointing them in the right direction. Heeeheee :-D

Just a quick update since I’ve once again made a resolution to blog more often… *crosses fingers*.

Have a great week, y’all.

PS:- As always, I truly appreciated the comments on my previous post :-).

Confidence Tales Part 2 - My Journey

2011-09-11T22:14:00.010-04:00

I am a 28 year old girl-woman who is very confident in who I am and what I represent. This hasn't always been the case though. My teenage years were filled with plenty insecurities...I spent most of those years growing up with a childhood bestie who was the “hot girl” and although I loved her and still love her to death, I always felt like everyone was always comparing my then simple tom-boyishness to her ever glamorous self. She is the first born and only girl in a house full of boys and so her mom constantly laced her with all the latest baffs and she always had her hair done right. In addition to that, she was and still is a very pretty girl/hot babe and constantly had lots of dudes on her case. In comparison to her, I am the last born in my family who grew up with 2 older sisters and so majority of my baffs were their hand-me-downs (sidenote: I still insist that this is one reason why I love shopping. Maybe I still haven’t gotten over having my own stuff…or maybe I’m just a girl who loves to shop :-D). My hair wasn't constantly done, and I considered myself to be cute but in no way on my bestie’s level of a hot babe. And, from the way the guys flocked to her and treated me as their homegirl, it was obvious. I was treated like one of the boys, and most of the times if dudes stepped to me, it was because they wanted to find out about my bestie. Everybody wanted to get to know bestie and take her out, and for the most part, I found myself playing some kind of 3rd wheel. I remember one instance where her then boyfriend wanted to take her out on some kind of group date with his other coupled up friends and specifically asked her not to bring me along...

So in general, growing up with the hot bestie plus other random things made my teenage years (albeit very fun) also a pretty awkward and insecure time that I spent trying to fit in.

When I started University in Nigeria, my confidence picked up considerably. My dear bestie had gone off to start Uni in “Obodo Oyibo” and so I was out of her shadow and learning to do my own thing. I was a "hot" jambite and was having too much fun. But then, I got uprooted from all the good ol’ fun that I was having to relocate to Yankee, where learning to adjust to life here made my confidence take a major nose dive. I also lived with an Aunt who stifled the heck out of me and wouldn't even let me do things as basic as going to the movies. I did meet a dude but he quickly ended our short-lived relationship because he couldn't deal with not being able to constantly see and talk to me (my aunt's lockdown was epic)…then swiftly moved on to date another chick within 1 month (major confidence killer).

Over the course of the years, I got into a thing here and there with the male species but they would act out (in typical male fashion) and I would blame myself like “If I was hotter”, or “If I was more interesting”, or “If I looked like XYZ”…phew! Thinking about it now, I can only thank God that I’ve been delivered from that mentality. Looking back, I also realize that the common trend with me + men in those days was that I was constantly seeking validation. I was also very clingy and needy and these all boiled down to my insecurities. Once again, I thank the Lord for deliverance.

Around those trying times, my childhood bestie visited me in Yanks and I was still comparing myself to her like “Omg, she’s so fab and I’m so not fab”. This was someone that I had not seen in years and I couldn’t even be myself. She commented and said “wow, you’ve changed…you’re now so quiet”. And I was thinking “No, I’m not quiet, I’m just trying not to feel inadequate compared to you”.

Speaking of comparisons. All I can say is that comparison toh badt! I was very guilty of the comparing thingy, and I compared myself to everybody! I felt like all my friends were way more interesting or had more going on for them than I did. It was either that they were academically smart and made all kinds of honor roll, Deans list and what have you or they could dance, or they could sew cloth, or they could make jewelry, or they were known for having a cool sense of humor/being witty…ha niile. It was always something! I felt very plain, uninteresting and basic compared to them.

One more thing that took a toll on my self confidence was the fact that I graduated college a few months shy of turning 24. Most of my ‘mates’ graduated at like 22 so I definitely felt like I was behind schedule. It didn’t help that folks was always like “when are you going to graduate” like I was an old mama in college. When I’d go out to events, I used to dread the “So what do you do?” question ‘cos I’d have to explain that I was still in college as opposed to a professional like the rest of my mates.

Of course, there were other factors that subtracted from my self confidence and general sense of self-worth, but I won’t bore you all...

Honestly, I don’t know and can’t pin-point the turning point where I slowly began to snap out of each and every one of my complexes and stopped giving people and situations the power to determine how I felt about myself…but somehow, I grew out of that mentality. I quit being needy/clingy/and the need for validation from dudes and when they acted out, I stopped blaming myself and instead recognized that “he’s a jerk” anyway and me looking like the most beautiful girl in Nigeria or being XYZ won’t change that. I stopped looking at my friends and thinking that they had more going for them than me. How could I ever have felt “basic and uninteresting”…I must have been on drugs. I stopped feeling inadequate in all aspects and started to embrace the fact that we are all different beings. Like for instance, I can’t even compare myself to childhood bestie anymore because now I know that I will never be a fabulous type of chick but I’m more of “versatile” with my style and I dress as the spirit leads me. Sotay till today, some of my friends (including childhood bestie) say “Mgbeks, I love how you put these outfits together” or “you just be doing your own thing and you make it work”. I found what works for me/what I feel the most comfortable in, and I use it to stunt on heaux.

I also realized that part of being confident is realizing your flaws, accepting them and not feeling inadequate because of them. I also realized that you do not have to be perfect or live a perfect life to be confident. I’m still not a hot babe, I’m not endowed, I don’t consider myself to be the worldwide definition of sexy and I will be the first to tell you that I do not have game i.e. I’m not the kind of girl who dudes love to approach in social settings but when all my friends are getting numbers at parties and I'm dulling in a corner, I do not feel any type of way…I still catwalk up in that piece and do my own thing. You can’t tell me nothing. As stated in my first post, I don't have an extra-special type of job, drive an extra special type of car, or have any extra-special credentials. And in general, I’m not an extra special type of individual...infact as the years pass, my level of chill + laidback increases but I don’t feel inadequate compared to my friends who are more “interesting” or have more going for them be it career, smarts, talent or personality-wise. You get my drift?

So to summarize this extra long tori, I’m far from perfect and in the eyes of some, might not have a lot to be confident about but despite that, my self-confidence is pretty high and I’ll be the first to tell you that. I took me a while to get to this level and so I will gladly stand on any rooftop and broadcast to the world. Aint no shame in my "tooting the horn" game.

The end.

The Confidence Tales - Part 1

2011-07-11T20:03:00.003-04:00

I believe in these 2 phrases:

1. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent
2. We weren't all born on the same day.

Let me address #1:
I have a friend who is a self proclaimed snob. So every time she prefaces some sentences with...'you know I'm a snob so...', I always wonder if the subjects of her snobbery noticed that they were being snubbed. If so, did they truly feel inferior?...Or how does it work, like do you snob people regardless of if they notice you snubbing them/feel inferior in the light of your snub? All resident snobs in the house, feel free to tell me how it works.
For me, unless you want to sit in your house and snub me from a far distance (to which I'd be very unaware of this, so ummm that one na your wahala), there's no way we can be in the same room and any individual will make me feel inferior. And the reason for this is that I'm very self assured and confident in who I am + I believe that everyone's path in life is different and we weren't all born on the same day (addressing #2, now)...so I don't look at any individual and feel that they are better than me. The person sef can be in the room with me, looking down their nose at me...I still won't notice.

I think that amongst Nigerians, it's very easy to get an inferiority complex with a quickness. By default, most of us are over achievers who strive for the best, and so when you step up in the spot with your 'less than superior' credentials, you gotta do it with your own kind of swag and back it up! You know what I'm saying?. I mean, who is a Consultant in the house? Tell me how many times, you run into Nigerians and mention that you are a Consultant, and you have folks asking if you work at 'Accenture, Deloitte, Booz Allen or McKinsey?'...lol!
I'm sure some of you know that I'm an Auditor and no, I don't work for any of the big 4 accounting firms aka PWC, KPMG, Deloitte or E&Y (although in College, PWC was once my dream job). But I get asked that a lot...like 'what do you do?', and when I tell 'em, the next Q is 'which of the Big 4 firms do you work for?'...they don't even ask IF I work for those firms, it's an instant assumption. I'm always happy to burst their bubble...heehee.
In fact I remember back in the day, when 1 toaster asked why I didn't aim for a 'more challenging' position at these Big 4 firms...acting like he dey denge with me 9-5, and sees me at work. That was one of the reasons why he got nexted with a quickness. Condescending attitudes won't fly with this sister... So errm, as a Nigerian, I know that you gotta be confident around your people or else, some of them will try to make you feel like you ain't up to par.
I know people who are doing quite well for themselves, drive this, own property, work at X but I've never looked at them like they are better than me because of what they have achieved in life. As dem see me so, I'm not on the street begging for alms or some shit.

You might have gone to the best of the best schools, work at the #1 fortune 500 company, wear the best of the best designers, drive X luxury car and own Y house...and if that's your story...we thank God for you and your successes. But trust that with a Bachelors degree from a school that I'm sure your aunty in the village has no idea about (and no current plans for a Masters..hehe), my rented space, my non-luxury car and a resume that doesn't boast of any 'gengen' fortune 500 companies, I can still stand and cough in your presence (old slang). I am perfectly okay with who I am and feel very confident in my current life status.

Like I said, I believe that everyone's path is different and that we all want different things from life. I have no desire to own Prada, Gucci or Louboutins and so I don't sweat the females standing next to me, who are happily sporting theirs. I don't want a Masters degree and so your Wharton MBA means nothing to me (don't get me wrong, I'm not hating o). The things that I want, are different from the things that you want, so why should I compare myself to you or feel less than because you have X, Y and Z while I don't. And even if you and I want the same things, and you got yours X years before I did, I still won't feel less than. I know that my time is coming, so in the mean time I'm going to continue to enjoy me as I am and not sweat you or feel inferior.

Back to point #1, I recently had lunch with a coworker and her friend. Na so her friend come ask me what my hobbies are, and so I listed my hobbies. I guess the Ajayicious babe wasn't too impressed, 'cos she said 'err well, doesn't everybody claim that they like to do all of that?'. I saw that as an attempt at a direct snub, like she didn't feel like my interests and activities were interesting enough...condescending ass beech. So, me kwa I kuku said 'Yep, unfortunately we aren't all as unique as we like to think and those things are what I enjoy doing' and then proceeded to ask what her own hobbies were...'cycling' and 'gardening' were her very dry responses. Mchewwww! See Okoro feeling funky, I hella expected her to say 'sky diving', 'bungee jumping' and some equally 'gengen' ish. Abegi, I will be the first to tell you...if you're looking for some off the wall stuff with moi, then keep on two stepping to the next person. I'm as normal and regular as they come, and it suits me just fine.

Sooo, this is just a lirru note of encouragement to my people out there. Own everything about yourself...flaws and all, and don't let the next man look down on you because you're not up to Society's standards. Don't compare yourself to anybody...your own time is coming too. Plus I'm sure that as you are comparing yourself to your mate who is supposedly doing big things, someone out there is comparing theirself to you, wanting to get on your level. Such is life...
Wear the heck out of that Forever 21 dress with a superior swag...you're just as hot as the chick who rolled in rocking Gucci and feeling funky with it. Blaze up the spot with your Jamaican weave and let the Brazilian and Peruvian weaved up babes hate from their little corner. Go to the Harvard Business School annual conference and boldly hand out your none fortune 500 card, they need some diversity up in that piece anyway (from what I heard) :-D.
Celebrate your rented space and don't feel bad because you're X age and you don't own property. If property is what you want, save for it and it shall be yours eventually. Don't listen to your parents, sometimes they are they key perps of trying to make you feel insecure with the whole 'Aunty Uchenna's son Ikenna is doing X, Y and Z'...and trying to make you feel like you're a loser because you're just starting out with X. And ultimately, remember that you're just as good as the next person. That attitude will get you far :-).

The end.

The hot man theory and other randoms about menfolk

2011-04-05T20:10:00.010-04:00

Much as I love to hate on fine men, I must confess that I sure as heck love to ogle them. Case in point, the other day, I was standing at the train station and minding my business when one fine ass man happened to stroll past me. If you see the way my neck turned at lightning speed? I definitely craned it well and proceeded to admire and drool over the man until he had faded out of sight. Hey! Who no like better thing? But as I gave it some more thought, I realized that while I like to stare at the fineness that is a well chiseled and wonderfully created man, in my heart of hearts (as we'd say back in the day)…I feel that such men who I consider to be on that 9-10/10 category of fineness are simply not on my level. As in, levels dey…and their levels are way above mine. I mean, let’s call a spade a spade here... I by no means consider myself to fall under the categories of ‘hot’, ‘sexy’, ‘gorgeous’, ‘stunning’ and whachumacallit. I’m not endowed with big boobs (if y’all remember, I rep the itty bitty titty committee), and I don't have an exceptional looking butt either. I think that I’m definitely not a bad chick to look at if you're down with the 'girl next door' kinda cuteness. However with such hot men who are probably used to millions of females chasing them, I highly doubt that they are looking for girl next door kinda cuteness when they can have the dime pieces and premium arm candy to flex with. I ain't even mad at that! The way I see things, hot people want to hang out with their fellow hot people, and so I will gladly ogle and stare at the hotties but I by no means think that they are checking for me/have me in their radar. I was telling a friend about it, and she asked me… ‘So, if such a man approached you, would you feel like you are unworthy of his attention?’ and I said umm..unworthy is a stretch, but heyy I would definitely be taken back like ehnn? Lil ol’ me?? :-D... Abi na? I'm sure someone will say 'it's your personality that counts' which I think is tales by moonlight because I'm a strong believer in the theory that men are very much driven by looks.

Meanwoos, according to some male friends of mine who always feel like they are dropping 'knowledge'…if you’re a woman and you want to increase your chances of meeting menfolk at events, wear attire that showcases your figure eight i.e. boobage and ASSets…preferably something in the short and tight category. According to them, men are very visual creatures (no kidding, Captain Planet) and right off the bat none of them know that you have an awesome personality so they are working with the visual image that you present. Hey, I can’t even disagree with them. Much as I’m very anti the short + tight combination (as in, it should be either or and not both), I gotta say that me thinks that the typical woman who gets noticed at most events is decked in a short + tight dress. In response to my friends, I said that I guess that’s why I haven’t been meeting a lot of bobos lately and that I’ll just have to focus on saving up for an Eharmony or Match.com subscription, where I can showcase my ‘charming smile’ and hope that my ‘winning personality’ comes through in the words that I type on my profile…

Till tomorrow I will always wonder why men will date a girl for 5 years, break up with her on some bogus reason and then quickly move on to marry another woman within 1 year. Lately, as I attend more weddings and look at the smiling couples, I can't help but wonder which woman is out there on planet Earth crying her eyes out because the 'love of her life' is getting married.

I keep saying this and I will continue to say this...men will make the loudest noise on social networking sites *ahem*...Twitter about how they want an X kinda woman, or a woman that possesses Y traits but when it all boils down to it...if a man really likes you and really wants to be with you, then all that shit goes flying out of the window. And I've observed quite a few examples to support my theory...

Last but not least, why do men love them some crazy women? Maaan sometimes you be hearing some kain kain stories and it's like how on earth would anyone want to be with this woman, yet the man will close eye and stay. My friend was telling me some off the wall story the other day about this one couple (ultimately the woman did the dude dirty and bounced), and was now yarning about how chick was so crazy and the dude was so heartbroken and torn about the situation. I burst out laughing! Upon the one wey she do before, bobo no see warning signs and step...now he wan form heartbroken. Abegi! I'm convinced that men just love them some drama and apparently being a nice and quiet girl isn't #winning. I asked this Q on Twitter the other day, and the responses that I got for why men like crazy women was "the crazy sex". Umm okay na.

Aniwoos let me quit while I'm ahead, because if I siddon tok this man matter na to dey here all night be that.

PS:- Jeez, I can't believe I haven't posted since January. Blame that ridiculous distraction named Twitter. But, I'm alive! Thanks for checking on me... *cheeses*

We go relate.

Taynement threatened me...

2011-01-23T13:28:00.005-05:00

Ok...it was more of a side eye, than a threat but I just felt like putting her name in my blog title. Hiiii Taynement...*waves*.

Like someone said to me...'your 2011 never start?'. My people, e don start o! I've just been like extra lazy and things (as always). Happy new year o jare. Better late than never.

A couple of bloggers tagged me in this stylish and versatile blogger awards/7 things about you (thanks guys), so without much further ado. Here are 7 things about me:

1. Me and my ex-roomie went somewhere last night. Some guy was trying to holla at her, but she wasn't feeling him and lied that she forgot her phone at home, so he pulled me over and asked me to help him out. He asked if he could store his number in my phone, so that I could pass it on to my ex-roomie but me sef no wan pull out my phone so I told him to tell me his # and guaranteed that I would remember it. He recited it once and X hours later...I still remember the number.

The point of this being?

I have a very retentive memory. If you tell me something or I read something, I store it in the archives and I'll be guaranteed to remember it. I still remember random ish like what my teenage crush wore at the teenage disco (that's what we called it) when I was about 14. And once upon a time, my friend called me because she was trying to register for EZpass and didn't know her license plate number, and yours truly was all to happy to recite it for her off the top of my head. I like to attribute my retentive memory to my success in school. I was always the lazy student who waited till the last minute to study, and somehow I'd do well.

Disclaimer: If you tell me something that I don't remember it, maybe I wasn't paying full attention (which leads me to the next point)...

2. I am very easily distracted. I can't stay focused on one thing for more than a certain # of hours. My mind tends to wander a lot and I sometimes find it very hard to pray because prayer time is prime time for my mind to wander. This is probably one reason why I don't like to go to the movies. The idea of sitting still and focusing on one movie for 2 hours is like errrrr. I'd rather watch it on DVD and do other things like clean my room, shred papers or some other random ish at the same time.

3. When I was a pikin, I wanted to grow up and be a writer. Then that career aspiration changed to a business woman in Lagos with 2 Mercedes Benz cars. At some point in my life, I thought I'd make a good Nollywood actress (although I can't cry on demand), and/or the lead female in someone's video. Nowadays, I'm just your average Auditor who actually enjoys her line of work...but if money didn't matter, I'd totally go for the Flight Attendant route (so that I can travel the world). And as a side hustle? I would LOVE to learn how to DJ. I already have my DJ name picked out. DJ **** on the 1's and 2's...what! what! Plus you hardly ever see female DJ's, so it would be awesome to break into that field.

4. Sometimes, I describe myself as friendly and outgoing. Other times, I'm not too sure. It really depends on what day you meet me, and what vibes I pick up from you. If you come off as annoying/standoffish or whatever, then I will give what I get. I'm also very famous for meeting someone and instantly deciding that I don't like the person, so that definitely affects the friendly/outgoing factor.

5. I'm very easily amused. Odds are, if I type 'LOL' or 'Hahaha'...I really am laughing out loud. What can I say? I just love to laugh. A lot of folks tell me that I don't look my age and I say that my constant laughter might be one of the things that keeps me looking young. One annoying thing about my laugh activities? For the most part, when I laugh, tears roll down my face...like a real case of ROTFWTIME (rolling on the floor with tears in my eyes, except that I ain't rolling on nobody's floor). Everybody thinks it's funny/cute, but I personally think that it's quite annoying because it ruins my makeup. I actually don't wear much of undereye make up for this reason, and sometimes when I'm all dolled up, I will jokingly instruct my friends to avoid cracking me up until the end of the night so that I won't laugh with tears in my eyes and ruin my makeup.

6. You know how females be talking about they feel naked without a weave or some hair around their face? Opposite for me. I feel the most 'me'/the prettiest when I'm rocking my nappy hair because I feel that's the truest representation of me. I'd prefer for a man to meet me with my nappiness than to meet me with some braids, and think that is me on the regular (seeing that I only braid my hair like 1-2x a year).

7. Last but not least. I like my personality...a lot (does anyone dislike theirs, though?). I can vex with a quickness, but just as easily get over it. A lot of things don't easily phase me because I tend to have a 'well, it could have been worse' mentality. And in general, I really try to portray a WYSIWYG to all and avoid airs and fake steez because in the end, when the wind blows, the fowl's nyash go open.

*Bonus:

8. I love reading people's '25 things about me', '7 things about me'....it's always so interesting to read about other people, so I expect each and everyone of you to have read this thoroughly because I will quiz y'all on it next week... :P

Phew! Finally...the end. A lot of folks have been tagged on this, so I'm gonna tag anyone who hasn't been tagged yet.

Coupla notes before I sign out:

1. I blogged about the starting the CPA last year. Well, I took (and passed) my first section. Up up Jesus! The Lord is good. I'm planning to take the 2nd section at the end of February and have been hella lazy with studying so let's see if my retentive memory will serve me well this time.

2. I have a write-up on Jaguda.com about moving back home. It's my opinion...kpom kwem. I'm definitely not anti-someone else stating their own opinion with their argument for wanting to move back home 'cos ya know...not everyone will agree with me/like what I have to say. However, it just seemed that some folks were salty for no reason. On some 'you're nothing but an immigrant', or 'America is not your land, it's another man's land'. No shit, Captain obvious. On more than one occasion, I definitely wanted to type 'Abeg fuck out of here with your pretentious BS' and my potty mouth factor is at a -1 sef, but I had to keep it professional on Jaguda's site :-D. I guess with my Naija people, even if I move back home and my only contribution to the nation is to be seen prancing up and down on Bella Naija's red carpet, they will still feel better about themselves because I'm doing the prancing in Nigeria and not abroad. I don't get it sha but ah well.

Aniwoos, here is the article for your viewing pleasure (Home is where the heart is...). Please feel free to comment with your constructive opinions. I'm open minded to anything that is constructive.

And on that note, I'm out.

Have a great week y'all.

The Artistic Hater

2010-12-13T21:57:00.007-05:00

My name is Original Mgbeke, and I am a hater. Yup, I said it...I am a hater. I proudly hate on people and have absolutely no shame in my game. Now, let's not get it twisted...I'm not one of those catty ass anonymous haters that you will find on websites such as *ahem*...Linda Ikeji and co. Characters masquerading beneath anonymous masks and making all kinds of spiteful, evil comments about people. I strongly believe in the demarcation between criticism and crossing the line into spiteful, personal insults. For instance, if BellaNaija happened to put up a post on BankyW (one of the objects of my haterism), I wouldn't run up in the comment box talking about how he's such a trifling ho sleeping around the streets of Lagos (I just dey make scenario o, abeg no be from my mouth wey una hear say Fanta dey orange). Like how would his fictional trifling ho activities relate to the post at hand...? You get my drift...

So pretty much, I will proudly tell you that I'm a hater, but at the same time I will tell you that I'm an artistic hater. Ya know, I hate in such a way that you don't know that I'm hating :-D...don't side eye me, we all got some artistic hater in us.

Aniwoos, in no particular order...here is a list of random people, groups and things that I love to hate on:

1. Lagos folks: As y'all must know and have probably heard a million times, I'm a Porracourt babe true and true. Born and raised, and lived there for darn near all my life ('cept for some random relocations here and there). In general, PH people are known for being pretty down to earth, having no airs and what have you. Regardless of who your father is, everyone can mix and mingle without feeling like snobs/snubbed. Case in point, #nonamedroppingoranything, but back in PH me and my girls used to roll with the Rivers State Governor's daughter. Granted we met her when her pops was running for elections but still...pre, during and post election, nothing changed and she continued to mix and mingle with us lowly peasants. She also continued to mix and mingle with her high school folks from all backgrounds, and definitely stayed pretty down to earth (still is, actually). That's just an example of how PH folks roll. Sooooo based on that, I just can't get with how materialistic, superficial and shallow most Lagosians appear to be. Granted, all my Naija trips have been PH based and I haven't jammed Lagos in a minute but according to many (1st hand?) reports, Lagos folks are about 'who your father is', 'who you know', 'what circles you roll in' etc etc...which instantly gets the haterism from me 'cos I just can't do shallow fakeness. Oh and I've heard about how everyone and their mama has a British accent, and those darn air kisses sooo errr...Lagosians, by default I love to hate on y'all. Can't wait to land Naija one of these days and give all y'all the side eye...

*Not applicable to all Lagosians. If the shoe fits and things.

2. Queens College aka QC girls: Another of my favorite groups of people that I love to hate on. For a bunch of girls who attended a Federal Government Girls College, QC girls sure be acting like they are on that Vivian Fowler (which I actually hate on part time...matter of fact, I hate on all private schools) level. It's like we no dey hear word again o...every small thing is 'I'm a QC babe' or 'that's how we QC babes roll'. Abegi, y'all ain't that special o jare. One of my best friends is your typical QC babe, and I think that one of the very first things I said to her when we met was 'Oh, so you're one of those annoying QC girls'. Hahahaha, I wonder how we moved beyond that point... *chuckles*. That aside, a couple of my friends are QC girls but that still doesn't stop me from hating on the lot....*snicker*

3. Banky W: I love me some Mr. W's music, but I can't say that I'm a huge fan of the man, himself. I can't give you a specific reason why I love to hate on Banky W. I think it might have stemmed from a reunion back in the day, when he still lived in Yanks and was an up and coming artist. A friend of mine was trying to make friendly talk, nothing groupie-ish, and he just came across as feeling himself a lil too much. I definitely remember standing in the corner and eye-ing him up and down like 'hmmph, what is this one feeling like?'...and since then I've enjoyed hating on the man. However, one other thing that I love to hate on, other than Banky W himself is that perfectly lined beard of his. The thing drives me nuts...

I've vowed that one day I will get him drunk and knocked out, like that mean female did to Wande Coal, but as opposed to stripping Banky nekkid and broadcasting his nude pictures on Twitter, I will simply shave that beard off. Every single hair of it...

4. Pretty Girls: It's kinda sorta common knowledge that I love to hate on pretty girls. Now, when I say pretty girls, I mean those saccharine sweet types of pretty girls like Halle Berry, and not the 'I got spunk and seem like fun' types of pretty girls like Nia Long. Big difference. I'm definitely a hater of the former...like okay, you're pretty and then ?? What else is there to you? Do you have an interesting persona or are you just pretty for nothing? One day, I was so jobless that I actually conducted some kind of poll and determined that all the saccharine sweet kinda pretty girls truly seem to lack personality and the fun factor. What makes it even worse is that men drooooool over these types of girls because 'OMG, they are so pretty' and 'they are dimepieces'. So of course, I have to hate because unpretty girls like me who work hard to look good, also have the added burden of trying to have some sort of personality so that men will find us remotely attractive, while such dry pretty girls get all the men. Hmmph! I definitely have a valid reason to hate.

5. Men: It's no secret, I love to hate on the male species. In my opinion, most of these cats are just out to disturb the peace in women's lives and make a run for it. Plus, I feel like as the days pass, I hear more ridiculous stories that make me want to make drive through someone's son's house and bust his windows or slash his tires. Like seriously. I feel that the world would be a much simpler place if men dropped the bullshit act and kept it 100 with the females. Which one is two timing two women for 4 years, proposing to one, and totally hitting the other (unsuspecting) woman with an upset. Abi which is one is toasting a woman for months and then she finally agrees to show you face and everything is going well, then you suddenly go MIA. Y'all really on some bullshit. Reason #1234567 why yours truly is quite happy being single (apart from the fact that I don't fall into the pretty girl category..heeheee). Aniwoos, I won't waste too much breath on your menfolk, but just know that I definitely love love love to hate on y'all (in an understated and artistic way of course ;) ).

That's all that comes to mind for now...plus I'm tired. So, there you have it...my top 5 favorite list of things that I love to hate on. So it's like out there, ain't no shame in my game...Heehee.

With all that said,

Peace, Love and Goodnight

For the 5 people who care

2010-10-17T00:28:00.005-04:00

I'm taking my first CPA section at the end of November (please keep me in your prayers). Based on that, I'll be taking a lil hiatus 'cos ya girl can't afford to dedicate X time to blogging + blogrounds... especially not, since I'm like freaking out in advance. Yeah yeah, I know that I don't blog much these days but I thought I'd notify y'all as opposed to being all rude and disappearing... :)

You can catch me on Twitter though ('cos I tweet from my phone when I'm usually on the go)...

Aniwoos, I shall be be back soon (I hope). In the meantime, keep it locked!

Peace & Love

Dear Future Husband

2010-09-12T17:55:00.003-04:00

Before I proceed, I would like to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who commented on the previous post. Thanks so much for the birthday wishes, they were so much appreciated. I'm really trying to do better with responding to individual comments...forgive me for making this a general message of appreciation. And thank you too to the Anonymous commenter for the constructive criticism, it was duly noted. :-)

Moving on to today's post...from my general Tweet observation, I have noticed the TT called #Dearfuturehusband...and I figured I'd blog it in an entire post. Much as it seems that many people think of their wedding day and all, sometimes I gotta wonder if these people extend their line of thinking to marriage in it self, and the not so easy parts of it. Sometimes I find that folks in general can be so hard to deal with, talkless of living with one individual 24/7/365...that in itself, will really take a lesson in patience and what not. So in today's blog, I shall address my #Dearfuturehusband (if marriage is meant to be in my future), and give him a heads up that I'm not as perfect as he might think that I am...hehehe.

Dear Future Husband...

1. I realize that you might have met me at your bestfriend's wedding when I was looking my hottest, killing it with my MAC 'warpaint' and wearing the heck out of that dress. And then after that, every time that you saw me, I was looking like the flyest thing ever. But heads up in advance! I do NOT look anything close to remotely hot when I wake up in the mornings. I mean, can a sister catch a break? Even Halle Berry probably doesn't wake up looking like Halle Berry. Just wanted to let you know in advance, in case you wake up one morning and wonder who snuck into your room in the middle of the night, and replaced your wife with willie willie.

2. Ideally, you'd cook and I'd clean. It's not that I can't cook, I just gotta be in the mood to cook and sadly, the mood doesn't hit me as often as it hits some of my other female counterparts. But before you pop a nerve, remember that the key word is 'ideally'...I will do everything in my power to ensure that you and the kiddies are well fed, mood or not.

PS:- You'll definitely get a big side eye, if you expect me to do all the house work, or if you come home before me and don't start dinner...like the hell?

3. Please do not mistake my confrontational attitude for a nagging one. If you do something that ain't sit right with me, I will address it. If you don't want me to see red, resist from attributing it to nagging/me trying to start a fight. Or would you rather that I continue to bottle the ish up, and then one day explode on your unsuspecting ass? Oh and I will have you know that I don't do well with letting things slide, but I am attempting to work on that.

4. According to reports, I'm a very restless sleeper who is prone to tossing, turning, sniffing, sneezing and even snoring every now and then. I just hope that you're not a light one... :)

5. I've always been the kind of girl that just enjoys and loves her space. I'm a professional single who has spent more time being single than being in a relationship, so I tell ya...this marriage thing, and learning to live, deal and consider another being won't be easy. If I trip out, every now and then...please be patient.

6. Hopefully I'll get along with your family members...I will try my best. I will admit that I'm not good at the 'sucking up' game, and can sometimes adopt the 'love me or leave me' attitude, but this is your family so I will put more of an effort in. Now let's just hope that your mother and your sisters aren't of the irritating variety 'cos that'll be a case of #Nodeal.

7. I get very easily irritated, I can be quick to catch an attitude, and I have a sharp tongue...just a heads up.

8. Some of what I will be bringing to the table in our marriage will include a shitload of shoes, clothes, and accessories. Please don't judge me, if I stay coming home with more shopping bags or else I will be forced to be one of those married women who hides the shopping bags in the trunk of her car, and sneak 'em in when you're not home. :-D

9. I'm SCARED of the whole pregnancy, childbirth process. I really am. Can we just adopt some kids and call it a day? Think of the days that you'd be spared having to making midnight runs to the grocery store to get me the latest craving of the hour...

10. I can't promise to remain slim and trim along the course of our marriage (especially if you insist on putting me through the ordeal of popping kiddies out), and if I don't then ah well. You'd better continue loving me and thinking that I am the hottest thing ever, and if I ever catch your eye or other bodily parts wandering, I have my hot oil and frying pan on standby. Consider this a warning... *Saccharine sweet smile*

All that aside, I do promise to be the best wife that I can be, faults and all. And as for you, all that I ask or beg of thee is that you promise not to take a hatchet to me, when the going gets though. Cos babe, frankly speaking...all these reports of Nigerian men killing their wives is starting to be a bit disturbing. Oh, but on the flip side...it's been a whole bunch of Igbo men, and if I had my way, you wouldn't be Igbo...

Have a great week y'all!

PS:- I miss Blogsville o, I've just/still have a serious case of 'Blogger's block'.

A new year, a surprise party and an apology of some sorts...

2010-08-08T14:40:00.007-04:00

On Saturday, I co-hosted a show with Verastic which some of you probably listened to. Topic was 'Do women really need men?'...to cut a very long story short, I and my co-host got into it. Now peoples, I realize when I'm wrong and when I step out of line and although hard to do, I will admit to it. I got a chance to listen to the show again, and if I had to chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. The only thing I apologize for is partially messing up the first quarter of poor Vera's show (although Nigerians too like drama, sha). I will say this for the millionth time, I do not and will not tolerate anyone telling me how I should feel about any situation in my life. That is what pushed my buttons. So, for the idiot that commented and called me uncouth and blamed it on 'American Radical Feminism', in my past life I would have called your mother an uncouth being, but I'm a changed woman now. Don't get out of hand and act like you know me, homie. Yes, I do not believe that women need men, so sue me.

So, there you have it. To Vera, again I apologize for that little bit of drama that popped off but I can't say that I will turn a blind eye to the next fool who tries to tell me how to feel about any situation in my life.

On to the main gist of the day...

I celebrated a birthday on August 3rd, 2010. Unlike most of the rest of the world, I really look forward to birthdays because I enjoy getting older. On the flip side, while I enjoy going for other people's birthday parties, I'm not the biggest fan of celebrating my own birthday. Left to me, I'd stay home and sleep.

For instance, when I turned 25...my friends literally talked me into hosting a simple birthday dinner. Such a far cry from the rest of the world who seemingly celebrated their big 25ths with 3 day events popping champagne, buying out the bars and hosting guests in the VIP sections of swanky clubs.

Sooo aniwoos on my actual birthday, my dear friend and homeskillet Ms. RoyalReigns and my ex-roomie took me out for a quiet dinner at a local lounge close to my hood. I enjoyed dinner with the two, as I received my lovely gifts and sipped too many glasses of wine.

We had discussed potential plans of going out the following weekend, but lately I've been in total chill mode/less in the mood to hit the scene so I fashied plans and in my mind, that was that...

Until yesterday night, after I dragged my tired feet in from a wedding reception accompanied by my other dear friend and homeskillet Tori (who was instrumental in the planning of the surprise party). I was just ready to get home, take my shoes off, wash off my makeup and chill and as I inserted the key into the look and entered my dark apartment...I saw cameras flashing, followed by a big shout of 'SUPRISEEEEE'.

Initially, I was scared to death and I ran back out of my apartment. I thought I was being mugged (I think the shouts of 'surprise' hadn't registered yet). Then I realized what was happening, ran back in, and saw all the dear people who had worked to put together this very wonderful surprise. Like, they TOTALLY got me, I sooo did not see it coming/have a clue and I was so overcome with emotion like OMG, they did this for lil ol' me? that yours truly, who hardly ever cries for anything started shedding tears.

My dear friend, and the wonderful Zizi of the Zizi Experience (The Zizi Experience)...key planner of the surprise party, went to great lengths to whip up a nice spread which included fried rice, jerk chicken, sausage rolls, scotch eggs, salad and a beautiful cake with mango icing. There was also lots of wine and sangria, and all in all I had such a great time. In retrospect, all I can do is thank God for things like this that make me feel so loved. I thank God for everyone who came through to surprise me including those that drove all the way down from New Jersey to do this. I'm thankful for everyone, and sooo grateful to everyone who made it happen and participated. Thank you guys so much, this truly meant the world to me. I was so so touched. :-) :-)

And while I'm thanking people, I gotta thank another homeskillet and dear friend Taynement for the birthday post and shoutouts. And thanks to RocNaija for the birthday wish in ze comment box! :-)

The end.

PS:- Got sucked into the Twitter craze. Ms. Royal Reigns made me do it, and no I won't abandon Blogger but I definitely tweet more often than I blog. Check me out here .

PPS:- For the 3 people who care, the shopping blog's been updated.

IbloginPidgin

2010-07-06T17:14:00.007-04:00

E get some kain names wey you go just hope say your parents go spare you, as dem dey name you. Like in the previous post, I yarn say the Isioma babe don see me, the Ngulumu…and true talk, that is somebody’s name. I believe it originated from FGGC Abuloma a.k.a I blow Garri, where there was an Ngulumu Ohembe. Na so the name come carry go o, when you wan tok small thing, you go yarn say ‘shey you don see me…the Ngulumu’. Chai…abeg Ngulumu, if you dey read this/if you are Ngulumu’s cousin, this is absolutely nothing personal. Hahahaha...

Then e get this other babe wey go my school…let’s call her ‘Clementina Amanpour’…LOL. Na so her name come carry o, when you wan tasi pesin…you go kuku yarn say ‘See this Clementina Amanpour’ ooo….as in, pesin wey just dey claim anyhow i.e imagine a convo between Ricky Bobby and I, which goes like this:

Ricky Bobby:- Beyonce is my girlfriend

Mgbeke:- Hia! Who dash you? See this Clementina Amanpour o!

Sooo, speaking of names…the other day, pesin come ask me why I go by the name ‘Original Mgbeke’. I tell am say, I be Mgbeke na. Dem tok say they don’t see it. Abeg o, make the baffs no fool una o. In my heart of heart, I know say I be Mgbeke. The person asked me… 'what makes you razz?’ …

‘Do you wear shades in the club?’…I said no.

“Do you wear Gushy leathers (Gucci) + Prada logo together?’ …I said no.

“Do you act uncouth in public”…I said no.

“So what makes you razz then?’…I tok say me I no fit explain am, but I just know say I be razzo. Case in point: see as I don enter paragraph two of this post and na only pidgin wey I don blow since. Kai!

On to the pidgin topic, so I no think say I fit follow man wey dey too ‘Americanized’, like all those guys wey dem born and raise for Yankee. Or all those Lagos people wey dey feel too funky, as per dem go Atlantic Hall and their papa dey hold serious moni, and such steez. When man pikin wan get down with the get down and nack correct pidgin English, dem go dey look me laik say my mama no born me well. Abeg carry go. I need to everly be myself, yaoooming (you know what I mean?).

On the flip sha, I no fit follow pesin wey dey too razz/Igbotic/Yorubatic or whatever as per na me wey dey hol’ am down in those areas. There can only be one of us o jare!

Language wise, I have really been proactive about learning Igbo. I have picked up quite a bit of new stuff, and my friend has been so kind as to give me BBM Igbo lessons. Here is how it works: I give her a word in English, she types the Igbo translation on BBM and then I call her for 2 seconds and she pronounces it. Ah, this one don pass Rosetta Stone o! I need to hit her up with some new ones.

Then e get one bobo wey dey wink at me, and I come dey utilize his services too. But e be laik say I go NEXT am real soon, so that source go soon disappear. As in, make una no try o…next thing I will be posting in Igbo if the Pidgin never kill una finish. Hehehe.

Meanwoos how far all these bobos (Igbo bobos na the main culprits) wey dey meet you and in 5 mins, wanna know if you can cook? You kwa, can you buy me Gushi leathers? If you see it as a requirement that I cook, then it’s a requirement that you buy me Gushi leathers. The story no be long thing.

How una July 4th weekend shake na? As for me...I carried my fine legs to enter NYC to bubble and shuffle with awon babes. Not too much bubbling and shuffling dey involved sha, as per our bones don dey old small. I dey yarn my homeskillet how I just packed only 'indoor' baffs and she was like 'for real? not even a night of clubbing?'. The ting be say, clubbing don dey tire man pikin o jare. Na so so loud music, sweaty individuals bumping and grinding and men prowling the scene looking for their next prey. I have been officially bored with clubbing as of 2008, true story.

The weekend was nice sha sha. My homes hosted a cookout/BBQ on Saturday, and we pretty much chilled on Sunday, and had a jolly ol' picnic at Central Park on Monday. Good times.

Meanwoos I dey yarn some peeps say I dey enter NY for the weekend, and dem dey ask if na NRC Reunion, wey I wan waka go. Abeg make una take eye look me na, I look like pesin wey wan enter NRC Reunion? Na im I go enter and the pikins go tok say who be this old mama. This babe go the Comedy show and she come dey gist us say na so so fake lashes, long weave, and booty shorts wey just full the place. Abeg I no get strength to dey compete with such Sasha Fierces in training, LOL.

I con hear say Banky dey have some attitude because man pikin no hail am too much, apparently all the hailing was reserved for M.I. Abeg no be from my mouth wey una hear say Fanta dey orange ooooo. :-D...besides I no sabi if na accurate gist. #ameboruns

And on a final note (In Engrish :D ), I’ve really been scouting for new music so Amazon is like my new best friend. I’ve been in the mood to listen to a lot of albums, so lemme drop some album recommendations of stuff that I heard recently and really liked:

Ultraviolet - Kid Sister: Okayyy, where has she been my whole life? I LOVE every single track on her album, true talk.

The Archandroid - Janelle Monae: This album is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.
Flesh tone - Kelis: I got the hookup about a week before I came out (release date is today). This is an awesome effort from Kelis. Album is filled with tons of dance beats that will leave you itching to jump out of your seat. If you're into dance/techno, you will definitely likey.

Anjulie – I discovered her via Amazon, and I’m definitely digging her album.

Intimacy - Bloc Party : I was reading my Nylon Magazine, and saw a feature on this guy named Kele Okereke who just came out with a solo album, said he was part of Bloc party so I did some research, and voila! Album is really good, and I like Kele's voice. I would like to sample his solo album.

LMFAO - Party Rock : With a name like that, I just had to check it out. These guys are hilarious, the lyrics are fun and it's a generally fun album. Good road trip material, for when you are in a light mood.

That's all folks. Enjoy the rest of your week and here's to wishing y'all a very happy July.

PS:- For the 3 people who care, I am working on an update to the Retail Therapy blog.

If Isioma Uwueche is your girl...

2010-06-21T18:12:00.005-04:00

...then get her abeg! Ah ah! The babe's plagiarism no get part 2 o...shiooooo. Na im I just dey denge and pose jejely with awon babes, I come tok say make I check my blackberry to see which latest emails I don gather. Na so one very lovely blogger (thank you sooo much, girl) emailed me and told me how she'd been perusing the web and saw this note on FaceBook. Wondered if I was the owner of the profile, but noticed that names and some details about the note had been changed. I come click on the link and saw the very marriage note that I just posted a couple of weeks ago, complete with name changes and all. I was like WTF?
It's one thing to copy my damn note without referencing/sourcing it...and another thing to copy the note and then try to modify details like you wrote it. Like, are you kidding me?
I don't consider myself to be an acclaimed writer or anything, and have no problem with people copying and pasting stuff that I write AS LONG AS you source it back to me.
So, I was going to jejely message her on some WTF levels but felt extra vexed that she actually went to great lengths to change details. So I'm finna call her ass out on here AND message her. Girl, if you are reading this note...take your time o! Before I show you say Khaki no be leather. Na so 419 dey start....nonsense and jagjagbantis.
So, I'm finna repost the note and highlight the changes that she made. Yeyerism to the highest degree!

Isioma Uwuechue: What can a gurl do? Life goes on my dear.....
Everyday you log onto FaceBook and what do you see waiting for you on your homepage?

‘Lisa has gone from being in a relationship to engaged’
‘Ann is now married’
‘Okon just put a ring on it'

If your homepage ain't giving you the gist, you are straight up hearing it from the horse’s mouth when the Lisa actually updates her status via her Blackberry for Facebook with ‘OMG, I’m engaged’. Or Anita is updating her status from her honeymoon, talking about ‘Chilling in Morocco with hubby, I’m so blessed and lucky to have him’.
Every So, you’re like crushed! I’m taking a FaceBook break because this oppression is too much but, you learn the hard way that you can run, but you can’t hide…for the very next day, your homegirl is calling to give you the 'latest gist'… ‘Omo, guess who don engage themselves ooo’. If your home girl ain't calling you, you're feeling the oppression every Sunday at church, when the Pastor stays announcing the latest engaged couples, and urging y'all to congratulate them, and pray for them. And if church isn't doing the work, all the millions of wedding websites that are circulating the internet, definitely hit home.

It doesn't help that you dated Amuohia for 6 years, and then he broke up with you on some 'baby, it's not you...it's me' and then turned around to quickly move on with some other chick, and propose to her after only 8 months of dating. You're like Okporoko nwoke madu! What did I do wrong? I cooked for him, cleaned for him, provided a listening ear, performed those thingy in bed, and played the wifey material role like I was supposed to, so what did she do differently, that I didn't? Chineke! He always told you that you were 'wifey', and a 'keeper'...but I guess actions speak louder than words. You're actually pissed off by the unfairness of the whole situation...after all you groomed him, primed him, prepped him and introduced him to your family and friends…only for him to pull the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’…and 8 months down the line, you stumble across his wedding website and you’re like what??? Imagine! Another babe dey enjoy the result of your hard work. Kai!
Matter of fact, it seems like all of a sudden you're hearing a whole bunch of those 'they dated for 8 months, and he proposed' type of stories, and you can't help thinking about all the men whom you dated for 2 +years, and they ain't say peep about marriage. But when you think harder, you realize that all of them are married, so it definitely wasn't them with the problem now. Could it be you? things that make you go hmmm...

You're kinda hoping that this marriage fever will pass, and all man will begin to hear word again but who dash monkey banana? Marriage season is here to stay, and somehow you've been left on the sidelines looking at those million wedding websites, FaceBook status updates, and feeling those random twinges of self pity because it seems like everyone else in the world is getting married, but YOU.
‘What’s wrong with me', you ask. ‘Why can’t I meet a correct bobo too?' I’m smart, educated (2 degrees and counting), pretty, can cook a mean isi-ewu and generally throw down in the kitchen, can cook it up in the bedroom as well, and come to think of it, all those ex-boyfriends of mine always complimented me and said that I was 'wifey material’.
You just can't seem to meet a decent bro. The dating scene is wack and the 'market' is very dry and drab looking. All the guys that you've met recently all seem to praise your greatness and tell you how awesome you are, and how you’re wifey material…but…they aren't looking for anything too serious, and just wanna be friends with benefits.
You're tired of playing these guessing games with men...he likes me, he likes me not. You just want some permanence o jare! Someone to call your own, so that you kwa can oppress other single ladies on FaceBook. Ah ah, e easy?
It doesn't help that all your married friends craftily tell you how men see their future wives, and instantly know that she's the one/after a few months of dating, they know that she is wifey, sooo you're definitely thinking that something is wrong with you.

You’re thinking ‘chai…30 dey approach ooo’ (since the memo went out, that 30 is the cut off age after which if you’re still not married, you should go and jump off a bridge). Your ‘juniors’ don marry and born pikin since. In fact, dem dey on their 3rd pikin now sef. Your mates dey rock matching aso-ebi with their husbands in church and/or weddings.
You officially hate going to weddings because all the boo'ed up women seem to clutch their boyfriends possessively while marking their territory, the married women seem to be very smug about their status, and when it’s time to catch the bouquet, your married friends give you that pitying smile and the nudge like ‘girl, abeg, try go catch the bouquet na’.
Everyone is asking ‘oh baby, why you dey single sef?...you need to put yourself out there, go out more, market yourself,be more social’…but they don’t know that if you do any more putting of self out there, na to run naked for street, remain.
You even start dreading running into your Aunts, because the subject of marriage always comes up and they give you all these suggestions, like you never try all d nkoroh joints my pekin. And let's not talk about your parents...

What’s a girl to do?

Do you continue to feel sorry for yourself? Maybe even drive by a couple of bridges n flyovers on your 29th birthday to determine which one you will jump off when 30 nack and ring no kukuma dey for hand?
Do you hang up all your mini skirts, shaba n abortion belts, in exchange for more Mary Amaka looking outfits, because ‘well behaved women and wifey material don’t hit the club no more’.
Do you join the church and become an usher, because rumor has it that all the good and God fearing single men full ground for church.
Do you hold off on buying that house that you’ve been eyeing or that Bentley, because your mother told you that men are intimidated by successful women?
I mean…girl, what are you going to do? Put your life on hold waiting for marriage to happen? Worry your pretty head about things that you can't control?
Truth of the matter is...you realize that you might get married, and you might not. It's all a game of fate + luck. So in the case of the latter, what's a girl gonna do? Hop off that bridge because life without marriage is a life not worth living?
But one day, like a bright shining light...it hits you and you jump up from your workshop in corporate Aba, feeling energized and ready to take on the world (your coworkers are alarmed but they will be fine). The light bulb goes off in your head and you suddenly know that you must continue to live life to the fullest and not worry about things that you can’t control. The dating scene is wack, and you're probably not going to meet a man at the wedding that you plan to attend next weekend, but so what?
The 'good' men are MIA (the women in Naija claim that the men are in Jand, the women in Jand say the men are in Yankee, everyone abroad thinks that they are in Isuikwuato, and the women in Isuikwuato give you the blank stare, and say that there are no men)…so really, where are those men hiding? Well, until that magical secret hiding place is discovered, you decide that you’re going to have fun with your girls (single or married), you're going to buy that Bentley... life is short, abi? You're going to travel more and experience more of life. You decide that you're not going to put your life on hold and worry your pretty head over the fact that there's no bling bling on your ring finger.
You say to yourself 'I'm not married yet, but so what?'. Life goes on.

The end.

I mean, I don't know if this is how they do it in Isikuwato but abeg next time source it back to my blog because as I type the blogpost finish, na energy wey I carry to write am. Abi you don see me the Ngulumu?

A word is enough for the wise.

The end.

PS:- Real blog post coming soon. :-p

You're not married yet...

2010-06-02T21:18:00.008-04:00

Every day, you log onto FaceBook and what do you see waiting for you on your homepage?

‘Bisi has gone from being in a relationship to engaged’

‘Anita is now married’

'John just put a ring on it'

If your homepage ain't giving you the gist, you are straight up hearing it from the horse’s mouth when the Bisi actually updates her status via her Iphone for Facebook with ‘OMG, I’m engaged’. Or Anita is updating her status from her honeymoon, talking about ‘Chilling in Morrocco with hubby, I’m so blessed and lucky to have him’.

So, you’re like dagnabit! I’m taking a FaceBook break because this oppression is too much but, you learn the hard way that you can run, but you can’t hide…for the very next day, your homegirl is calling to give you the 'latest gist'… ‘Omo, guess who don engage themselves ooo’. If your homegirl ain't calling you, you're feeling the oppression every Sunday at church, when the Pastor stays announcing the latest engaged couples, and urging y'all to congratulate them, and pray for them. And if church isn't doing the work, all the millions of wedding websites that are circulating the internet, definitely hit home.

It doesn't help that you dated Mike for 6 years, and then he broke up with you on some 'baby, it's not you...it's me' and then turned around to quickly move on with some other chick, and propose to her after only 8 months of dating. You're like crap! What did I do wrong? I cooked for him, cleaned for him, provided a listening ear, performed those acrobatics in bed, and played the wifey material role like I was supposed to, so what did she do differently, that I didn't? Heck! He always told you that you were 'wifey', and a 'keeper'...but I guess actions speak louder than words. You're actually pissed off by the unfairness of the whole situation...after all you groomed him, primed him, prepped him and introduced him to your family and friends…only for him to pull the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’…and 8 months down the line, you stumble across his wedding website and you’re like what??? Imagine! Another babe dey enjoy the result of your hardwork. Kai!

Matter of fact, it seems like all of a sudden you're hearing a whole bunch of those 'they dated for 8 months, and he proposed' type of stories, and you can't help thinking about all the men whom you dated for 2 +years, and they ain't say peep about marriage. But when you think harder, you realize that all of them are married, so it definitely wasn't them with the problem now. Could it be you? things that make you go hmmm...

You're kinda hoping that this marriage fever will pass, and all man will begin to hear word again but who dash monkey banana? Marriage season is here to stay, and somehow you've been left on the sidelines looking at those million wedding websites, FaceBook status updates, and feeling those random twinges of self pity because it seems like everyone else in the world is getting married, but YOU.

‘What’s wrong with me', you ask. ‘Why can’t I meet a correct bobo too?' I’m smart, educated (2 degrees and counting), pretty, can cook a mean isi-ewu and generally throw down in the kitchen, can cook it up in the bedroom as well, and come to think of it, all those ex-boyfriends of mine always complimented me and said that I was 'wifey material’.

You just can't seem to meet a decent bro. The dating scene is wack and the 'market' is very dry and drab looking. All the guys that you've met recently all seem to praise your greatness and tell you how awesome you are, and how you’re wifey material…but…they aren't looking for anything too serious, and just wanna be friends with benefits.

You're tired of playing these guessing games with men...he likes me, he likes me not. You just want some permanence o jare! Someone to call your own, so that you kwa can oppress other single ladies on FaceBook. Ah ah, e easy?

It doesn't help that all your married friends smugly tell you how men see their future wives, and instantly know that she's the one/after a few months of dating, they know that she is wifey, sooo you're definitely thinking that something is wrong with you.

You’re thinking ‘chai…30 dey approach ooo’ (since the memo went out, that 30 is the cut off age after which if you’re still not married, you should go and jump off a bridge). Your ‘juniors’ don marry and born pikin since. In fact, dem dey on their 3^rd pikin now sef. Your mates dey rock matching aso-ebi with their husbands in church and/or weddings.
You officially hate going to weddings because all the boo'ed up women seem to clutch their boyfriends possessively while marking their territory, the married women seem to be very smug about their status, and when it’s time to catch the bouquet, your married friends give you that pitying smile and the nudge like ‘girl, go and catch the bouquet na’.

Everyone is asking ‘oh baby, why you dey single sef?...you need to put yourself out there, go out more, be more social’…but they don’t know that if you do any more putting of self out there, na to run naked for street, remain.

You even start dreading running into your Aunts, because the subject of marriage always comes up and they give you all these suggestions, like you ain't tried it all. And let's not talk about your parents...

What’s a girl to do?

Do you continue to mull over the matter and feel sorry for yourself? Maybe even drive by a couple of bridges on your 29^th birthday to determine which one you will jump off when 30 nack and ring no dey for hand?

Do you hang up all your mini skirts and abortion belts, in exchange for more Mary Amaka looking outfits, because ‘well behaved women and wifey material don’t hit the club no more’.

Do you join the church and become an usher, because rumor has it that all the good and God fearing single men full ground for church.
Do you hold off on buying that townhouse that you’ve been eyeing or that 2012 BMW, because your mother told you that men are intimidated by successful women?

I mean…girl, what are you going to do? Put your life on hold waiting for marriage to happen? Worry your pretty head about things that you can't control?

Truth of the matter is...you realize that you might get married, and you might not. It's all a game of fate + luck. So in the case of the latter, what's a girl gonna do? Hop off that bridge because life without marriage is a life not worth living?

But one day, like a bright shining light...it hits you and you jump up from your workspace in corporate America, feeling energized and ready to take on the world (your coworkers are alarmed but they will be fine). The light bulb goes off in your head and you suddenly know that you must continue to live life to the fullest and not worry about things that you can’t control. The dating scene is wack, and you're probably not going to meet a man at the wedding that you plan to attend next weekend, but so what?

The 'good' men are MIA (the women in Yankee claim that the men are in Jand, the women in Jand say the men are in Yankee, everyone abroad thinks that they are in Naija, and the women in Naija give you the blank stare, and say that there are no men)…so really, where are those men hiding? Well, until that magical secret hiding place is discovered, you decide that you are going to continue to do you. You're going to have fun with your girls (single or married), you're going to buy that BMW...life is short, abi? You're going to travel more and experience more of life. You decide that you're not going to put your life on hold and worry your pretty head over the fact that there's no bling bling on your ring finger.

You say to yourself 'I'm not married yet, but so what?'. Life goes on.

The end.

PS:- Many many thanks to everyone who commented on the previous post. I didn't realize that I was missed o. *cheeses*. Gracias, I really appreciated the comments.

PPS:- Definitely gotta thank whoever nominated me for the blogger awards, *curtsies*. I truly appreciate am.

PPPS:- Abeg make una pray for me o, I am definitely suffering from the case of 'lazyblogoritis'. I've been soo lazy, had a bunch of stuff I wanted to blog about/been wanting to make rounds and catch up on my fave blogs but na pure LAZINESS. I go try do better in this month of June. *crosses fingers*

Peace & Love.

A Kuwaiti adventure

2010-04-29T22:19:00.000-04:00

I'm starting to learn that one of the things about my job is that sometimes the travel will take you to places that you wouldn't ordinarily hop on Kayak.com and say 'hey, I want to take a trip to Afghanistan' or some ish like that. In that vein, when I learned that we would have to cart our asses down to Kuwait for 2 weeks, I thought to myself 'umm that's different'...and so, 2 weeks
+ some days ago, we packed our load and hopped on a non-stop United airlines flight to Kuwait.

Prior to going, I was on the fence about what to expect. We have a couple of teams that have been there more than once, and so I got mixed reviews. Some people loved it and told me that it wouldn't be that bad, and other people hated it and told me that they couldn't want to return to the States.
My verdict = Great!

To start out with, after we landed and were driving away from the Airport...I remember looking around and thinking that the place really reminded me of Naija. The roads are kinda similar, the buildings and infrastructure are similar to what you'd find in Nigeria...heck some of the houses even had those water tanks that we have in Nigeria. The locals even drive just as crazy as Nigerians. I kept chuckling to myself every time we'd meet someone (Americans) who would say 'OMG, have you seen the way these people drive?' and I always thought to myself 'una never jam'.
The downtown area was very nice though...lots of hotels and nice tall buildings, restaurants and all that nice stuff.
We also got a chance to check out one of the malls, which was really huge with some cool stores, and we got a chance to hang around a beach which was close to a co-worker's apartment.
In general, Kuwait is a very Muslim country, and a good number of the women were completely covered in Burkas or at least halfway there. I doubt you'd wanna pack your booty shorts and tanks tops and be traipsing around the place but jeans and all that stuff was cool.
Another thing is...Alcohol is a total no-no in the country. The bars don't serve it and the grocery stores don't sell it so if you be shayo master, you might wanna re-think ever living there.

For blogging purposes, 80% of my time was spent on a U.S Military base and that's what the rest of this post will be about.

The Military has a huge presence in Kuwait, and there are 6 installations aka bases in the country. We stayed at the biggest base...for 'safety' reasons I was told by one individual, which in retrospect didn't make any sense because Kuwait could very well be the 51st American state...that is how safe it is. But then when I did further digging, I discovered that my office once had some deal with one luxurious Hilton hotel in the country, where they converted some rooms into mini apartments for civilians like us who were coming in to work for a bit, and apparently people started abusing it so the top guns got mad and said 'all of you will stay your asses on the Military base from this point on'...and that was that.

Housing
Sooo, we stayed on base and it was quite an interesting experience. To begin with, since we were just spending 2 weeks on base, we got assigned to a building called the 'I-barracks', which is pretty much co-ed temporary/short term housing for soldiers who are just getting deployed, and are on the waiting list for long term accommodations and civilians like me who would be spending less than 30 days working on the installation.
If I was to do a 3-6 month detail at our field office, I would have gotten assigned to some self contained apartments with 100% privacy.
As it was, the I-barracks was your complete boarding school scenario. There were bunk beds, metal lockers for each resident and lights out at 10pm on the dot every night. In rerospect, I don't quite get the point of lights out. Was it like a lesson in discipline for the residents? *shrugs*...lucky for me, I got the heads up to take a flash light with me so I was good to go.
I became pretty skilled in the art of getting dressed in the dark and applying my 'pancake' with my trusty old flash light because lights went out at 10pm, and came on at 5pm the following day...all day, every day.
Oh, might I add that everyone had to create their own sense of privacy, and so people taped or tacked bedsheets against their bunks to create a makeshift curtain of some sorts, so that you could get dressed without the entire room all up in your business.
The bathrooms or Latrines as the Military calls them, was this huge space with about 10 toilet stalls on one end, 10 sinks on the opposite end of the wall, and 10 shower stalls. Once again, no privacy and it was very common to see some butt naked woman toweling down, when you walked into the shower area.
All in all, I didn't find the housing situation that terrible because to me, it was boarding school all over again. My Project Manager kept bitching about it though...LOL.
And luckily for us, for the entire 2 weeks of our stay, we didn't have bunkmates so we pretty much had our spaces to ourselves.

Food
Ok, one thing that the Military can never complain about is the food. Heck, they eat better than I do...they definitely feed them well around those parts. It was always a buffet of something new...Wednesday nights are huge around those parts because it's 'Surf 'n' Turf' night (Steak and Seafood) and so every Wednedays, it was something new. The 2 Weds that we were there, there was some nice juicy ribeye steaks, T-bone steaks, lobster and crab legs. Friday nights are also pretty major because it's Mongolian night where they stirfry all the pickings of your choice with any combination of chicken, beef or shrimp...oooh and let's not forget the sauce. I was definitely a fan of Friday nights. The breakfasts were yummy...Omelettes, bacon, soft biscuits, fruit, sausages...whatever you wanted, they had it buffet style.
They had this Baskin Robbins desert bar at the DFAC (Dining Facility) that we stayed going to, and wahali...those people wan do me strong thing. Sotey the guy who always whipped up those shakes and scooped out the icecreams knew my face. Every time he'd see me walking by, he'd be like 'No milkshake today?'...chei.
If I thought that the food in Kuwait was good, apparently it was no match for the bases in Iraq. Two of my co-workers had to hit up Iraq for five days during the trip, and came back boasting about how the food was way more awesome. Uh uh, like I said dem people eat better than I do.

Things to do
I discovered that due to the fact that Military folk can't leave the base (security reasons), there is a LOT to do on base. We got up to something almost every night. For one, there are 2 movie theatres on base, where folk can watch movies for free (just show your common access card aka ID). We were told that they get pretty recent stuff and I'd have to agree. We saw 'Brooklyn's finest' and 'Date Night' during our stay. They rotate out the movies every week, and so Friday nights are pretty busy because that is when they see the 'new releases'.
Our 2nd night there, someone told us that there was a Twista Concert (also free...just show ID per the usual). I decided to pass...I mean, has he even released anything recently? Turns out that I didn't need to go to his concert to see him, 'cos 4 days later I saw him sitting outside our barracks talking on his cell phone and I mentally cracked up at the thought that Twista was crashing on a bunk bed somewhere within.
We attended an open Mic event, an Army vs. Navy basket ball game (Army won) and participated in a 5k marathon. Like I said, there's lots to do on base...they always had some Salsa night or Hiphop night kind of event going on. Those people certainly know how to chill.

Eye Candy
Ladies, if you are looking for eye candy then I would recommend that you make your way over to your nearest Military base. Oooh la la...the eye candy was ridiculous. So many strong and able bodied Military men. Even the contractors were hot, and I remember staring into the eyes of all my future baby daddies and thinking 'ooooh weeeee'. I definitely felt like a kid in a toy store. :-D

The Base
In general, the base is huge! It's like a condensed version of America in the heart of Kuwait. They had all your favorite fast food restaurants...McDonalds, TacoBell, Burger King, Starbucks, Baskin Robbins, Pizza Hut, KFC etc etc.
They had 2 big PXs (Post Exchange) which is pretty much a grocery store + Walmart kinda place rolled up in one. You could buy anything from candy to a flat screen TV. There were buses on base which ran through the 7 different zones. There were a couple of well equipped gyms, the above mentioned movie theatres, and a couple of recreation halls where people could hang out and shoot pool, play Wii and do whatever. There was also a spa/nail salon and a couple of hair salons with black stylists who could hook your weaves, braids, and perms up.

The Military folk
Ultimately, these folk are just like you and me. I don't know what I expected prior to heading out there but for some reason I was kinda shocked to see women in uniform spending hours curling their hair and applying mascara in the mornings. They spend hours on Facebook just like we do, they bump the hiphop music in their cars after hours, they chill outside to smoke, play cards and line dance...I mean in general, those people get into more post work activities than I do. Shiooooo...
I also like how they say the time...for some reason it silently trips me. :-D...Rather than say 'meet me at 1pm, they say 'meet me at 1300'. That is like so cool...hehe.
They are pretty friendly, and will almost always say hello when they see you, and the guys are flirty too.

The weather and nature
It was hot. I could handle it sha...shey I be Naija babe. We were told that during the summer months it gets up to 120 degrees sometimes. During our stay, the highs went up to about 85-ish, and got pretty nice and cool in the evenings.
Apparently Kuwait is good for its sandstorms. During our stay, we experienced 2 storms. The first one was bad...like real bad, Joe Jackson. I mean, the world went dark at 10am in the morning, like night time dark and I remember mentally freaking out like 'crap! The world just ended and I didn't quite make it into heaven'...till one of the contractors next door came over to advise us that it was just a regular ol' sandstorm. In about 30 minutes, it cleared out and the world went from dark to bright daylight all over again. We were given breathing masks to keep on hand because the sand lingers in the air and generally aint the business.

So in summary, it was a very interesting experience which I enjoyed. I would love to do a detailed assignment at our field office...with all things being equal. Like I really enjoyed being in the middle of nowhere, and the peace and quiet. When I think back about things that I missed, I'll say that I really did miss my bathroom. I'm not the greatest fan of public restrooms and what not, so I wasn't digging the bathroom arrangement. That aside, I did not miss my phone, TV, car or bed (my coworkers kept on talking about how they missed their beds). Truth be told, we were pulling like 12+ hour days because we compressed our work into such a short time frame and so by the time I was done working and socializing, I was just beat and asleep as soon as I hit the sheets...I didn't have time to think about the bed that I was sleeping on.
So um yeah, with so many of our projects focusing on those Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan areas I doubt this is the last time I will be heading out to South West Asia, and I'm pretty much up to go anywhere except for Afghanistan *crosses self*

We go see...

How have you all been?

This and that (part deux)

2010-03-27T20:54:00.000-04:00

Hello Blogworld,

What's been shaking around these parts?

Here's the tidbits/updates/randoms...
I spent a good chunk of this month of March in the packing, moving and unpacking business. I tell ya, moving dikwa very stressful but now that I am officially moved and 100% settled in, I can breathe a huge sigh of relief and hope that I don't have to do this any time soon. With that said, I love my new spot, and it seems that everyone who has walked into it, loves it too. It checked off all but one of the qualities that I was looking for in a new apartment, which was the extensive closet space of course (but that's fine, ya girl got tricks up her sleeve). Everything else such as a washer and dryer, clean and safe neighborhood, close to a metro etc etc all fall in very nicely. All in all, I am thankful to God and to everyone who prayed for me 'cos finding a place wasn't the easiest thing to do.

In between packing, moving and unpacking, I got up to all kinds of musical discoveries. I was really in the mood for new music this month, and I put the word on the street that I was looking to revamp my Itunes library and the recommendations that I got were pretty cool. These recs included albums from artists such as VV Brown (thanks Ms. Royal Reigns), The Noisettes and Imogen Heap (thanks In-law), that new Raheem DeVaughn (thanks ex-roomie). And thanks to looking up these albums on Amazon, I fed off those 'people who bought these album also bought this album' and discovered albums from Santogold, MIA, Groove Armada, Bomb the Bass, Tori Amos and LaRoux, among others. All of these 'new' stuff has pretty much been on constant replay all month, and I use the word new in quotes because these artists aren't entirely new to me and I've listened to a single here/there but never got a chance to give their albums a listen (just warding off the ITKs in the advance...I know, I know...I'm feeling slightly snarky this evening).
Like I said, I was pretty much in the mood for music this month and I definitely got my fix...I'm still open to recommendations, so if you have good stuff feel free to hit me with it.

Decided to hop off my fatty girl diet/lifestyle (errr, gotta be looking mad sexy for summer) and join a gym in my new hood. I'm actually excited about the gym, it's a stones throw from my spot and it has some cool looking classes. I've never had a gym with classes...my last gym was a zero bells and whistles facility, with your basic cardio and strength training stuff so the concept of classes is new and exciting to moi. Helloooo Zumba, here I come...

I think that I spent 5% of my time on FB this month...I can definitely say that I hadn't logged on for the last 2-3 weeks, for sure till yesterday. Not that I was ever an addict, but I sure loved to log on, silently peep people's pictures and bounce.
Matter of fact, I spent pretty limited time in front of my computer and I quite liked it. Sooo, what was I doing then? Like I said...packing pre-move, and unpacking post move + fishing out all those hidden treasures aka home decor on Craigslist. Like I said, yay to recycled furniture and things...

I really want to see why did I get married part 2 and Clash of the titans.

My mind just went blank but aniwoos that na some of the koko be that.

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend...

Break in Transmission

2010-02-28T00:02:00.001-05:00

Hey, I'm feeling too lazy to keep up with my blog and so I am going on a mini-vacay. I will be back very very soon. :-D

Just one of those random kinds of things...

2010-02-21T16:49:00.000-05:00

...As you can tell, my general laziness has even found it's way to my blogging and blogrounding. I have had many opportunities to blog; specifically the 5 days that we folk in the DMV area spent snowed in...no work, no school, no outdoor movement. I could have used any of those 5 days to post up a blog entry or at the very least make some blog rounds, but I actually spent those days doing the following:
Sleep
Wake up
Eat
Lie in bed and watch TV
Go back to sleep

Ah well, I am here now aren't I?

What has been up with you guys?
For me, the past 2 weeks have been spent chilling (read: 5 snowed in days), watching the show LOST...one of my dear friends put me on to it, turned me into a believer and i have been hooked on it (Season 1 and 2 down, and just started season 3), looking for apartments (quite a frustrating process), and generally thinking about my life. Pretty boring aye?

Nice Anon has been getting on me about replying to my blog comments. Gotta burst your bubble my darling, it aint happening anytime soon. Read the above mentioned laziness + timing issues. Simple blog post sef, I gotta schedule for the weekend so make una no vex. I mean, do you guys even go back to check if a blogger responded to their comments? And if no, do you feel that the blogger is feeling too funky to respond to their comments? Na legit Q sha o. Either way, I guess you can't please everyone.

I'm slightly worried. I have no urge/desire to be with a somebody or have a someone in my life. Slight worry because I've been told that as humans it is natural to want companionship and blah blah blah.

I always encourage people to not be shy to toot their own horns and big themselves up. It may piss others off because they will probably mistake your confidence for arrogance but if you don't give yourself props then who will? So if it is irking someone in their little corner, you can fedex some paracetamol to them to alleviate the pain...naaah mean? For someone like me who has come a long way from the insecure woman with a bunch of complexes, I most certainly enjoy my confidence and will continue to bask in it, so if it pains people then they will most definitely be accurate. Will do a post on confidence/complexes some day.

Every time I hear the term 'She comes from a good family' or 'She comes from a good home', I get vexed. The heck is a good home and a good family? Is there such a thing as a bad home or a bad family?

'Men will cheat', according to women and they seem to have accepted this as their date. 'As long as he is coming back home to me'...I hope they don't bring an STD home with them. What the heck? My friend's aunt told her that in her marriage, she shouldn't make the mistake of loving her husband because according to aunt, the minute you start loving your husband, that's when it starts to go downhill. The aunt said that her husband would eventually cheat, and that my friend should not be bothered as long as he is taking care of business in the home. Aunt also said that if my friend doesn't love her husband, she wouldn't be bothered and since men are bound to cheat, If you make the mistake of loving your husband then you are setting yourself up for serious heartbreak within the marriage because he WILL cheat. All I could say to the whole spiel was WOW!

As a woman, there is absolutely nothing wrong in knowing what you want and not settling for less than that. People may side eye you and mutter under their breaths but who send them?

In regards to 'game' and how some women always seem to have a bunch of toasters, I always ask the key Q: 'What is the calibre of these toasters like? Are they the generally accepted standard of correct men?'...Uh uh, it's one thing to have plenty toasters and supposed game but abeg before we (or I at least) recognize these characters, they gosta be correct guys. So in my own ratio of toasting, if 2 correct men, and 5 hungry men approached me in the month of January, then the 2 men shall be recognized and the 5 men shall be mentally dismissed. Hehehehe.

So it's like every time I play catch up with my friends and I be like 'So what's up with you?' and they launch into a long list about what's been going on with them, and then they flip the Q around and I'm like 'Men, nothing much o. Same ol...just work and general weekend chilling', and it always sounds hella lame even to my own ears but darris the truth na. I work on week days, and on weekends I may be up to something (Summers are always busy with cookouts, ges togeras, weddings etc, while winters are more laid back with a whole load of bumming) which I don't consider to be gist worthy. I mean, what's so gist worthy about 'Yeah i went to this wedding on Saturday, it was cool' compared to their own gist of boy drama, work wahala and what not. LOL...I mean, weddings, cookouts and ges togeras are not even what I consider to make my life interesting so in all reality, I live a pretty dry life. It's very non-dramatic, no men making me have sleepless nights and wanting to bust their windows, no coworkers who make me wanna strangle them (for the most part), no nothing really. I literally live a quiet and uneventful existence. So in an ideal world, when people ask me 'So what's new na?', I'd launch into tales of how I'm taking this cooking class or that sign language class, and how I'm prepping to backpack across Europe this summer for a coupla weeks, how I'm prepping for a 5k marathon, or how me and some friends are planning a road trip across the US of A and such interesting and fun things, because to me...traveling, exploring new things, cultures and people are what would make my life interesante. But since we aint in that ideal world, I will definitely be enjoying my dry existence and giving people the same reply of 'Nothing much, just working and chilling'.

I have accepted the fact that I can be evil (read: have some very evil thoughts), and there are few people with whom I can share these thoughts without the fear of judgment. :-D

I am looking forward to moving, although the actual process of apartment hunting has been somewhat frustrating. I've been scouring Craigslist for random pieces of furniture/home decor, and will soon be off on my way to pick up some accent pillows for my couches. Nothing beats recycled furniture/household goods.

Gosh, I miss my friends. Those international ladies... :-(

With alladat said, I gotta run.
Have a fabulous week y'all. Drink lots of H2O and eat loads of fruit, as I will be doing. Gotta make a stop at Giant to stock up on some juicy grapes and oranges, yummy!

Peace, Love and Blessings.

An Interview with Standtall

2010-02-04T21:13:00.004-05:00

I feel like I have finally arrived after spending X amount of years of Blogsville. I remember back in the day when I used to read Standtall's interviews with bloggers such as Rita, NigerianDramaQueen etc etc, and so I was quite excited when she emailed me to see if I would be interested in an interview. Of course I said yes!

Thanks a lot Ms. Standtall, I am truly quite honored.

Well, I won't say much but to redirect y'all to her blog where you can read my interview right here ---> Mgbeke's Interview

That aside, I hope you lot have a very fantabulous weekend, and for my DMV people abeg maintain well for this snow o. This one that they are talking about 20 inches, chei!

Peace & Love.

The Anti Independent Woman - Rich men are wanted!

2010-01-27T23:51:00.002-05:00

So it's like, every time I turn on the radio, it's some song playing about Ms. Independent or some variation of Independent women. 'She got her own', 'She pays her own bills' blahblahblah. You go to the club and the DJ is like 'All my independent ladies who pay their own bills can I see your hands up?'... And you get some screaming juvenile looking women all hella excited to raise their hands. Come on sharrap thia! What is so exciting about paying bills? My paychecks are on some LIFO steez (Last in, First out for the none Accounting folk)...you wait 2 weeks for it to come and its gone in 2 days thanks to the yeye bills wey these women dey shout up and down for.
What else is so exciting about paying bills sef? Shey na bills... Anyone fit pay bills na. If you got a 6 dollar/hr job at Mickey Ds you still fit use that moni to pay at least a cell phone bill if nothing else.
Long story short, there is absolutely nothing exciting or exhilarating about paying bills so boooyah Neyo, Webbie and all related Independent women hypers.

I always find that people get to know me and eventually say things like 'You don't come off as a last born', and when I ask what they mean, they say things along the line of 'You don't exhibit the typical traits of a last born, you come off as so independent'.
Truth of the marra is that in some ways, I am your typical last born (I got away with a bunch of stuff growing up that my sister's didn't, and I'm ultimately still my mommy and my sister's baby girl) but on the flip, I always disclaim that I'm not spoiled or bratty. But that's beside the point... Today, I wanna discuss the 'Independent' bit.

I have pretty much done things for myself ever since I was about 20. My first year in Obodo Oyibo, when I was a wide eyed 17 year old was spent living with my relatives. As is the typical case with most JJC's from Naija and relatives in Yanks, things aint go too well and so my parents were forced to get an apartment for my brother and I. Along with the apartment, they funded our first 2 years in Community college and for that, I continue to hail them and I am grateful because I tell ya, changing naira to dollars is not a beans and rice steez at all, at all.
By the time I was ready to transfer to a 4 year college, I got me some Financial aid and so those free grants, student loans and various part time jobs/internships funded the rest of my college career. With a combination of those 3 sources of income, I paid my rent, bubbled and shuffled and bought my first car cash down at an auction (I was so proud of myself...hehehehe). Now, I have graduated from college and my lifestyle is now funded by a full time job as opposed to part time + school aid.
Original Mgbeke history 101 ends here.

Do I consider myself to be independent? Sure. I handle myself financially and have not relied on my parents or any one else for tha marra, for any kind of that assistance since the above mentioned 20-ish age. Do I run about screaming that I got my own (if not property, does enough clothes and shoes to set up a shop count? LOL) and I pay my bills? No way! I actually do not think that it's hard for one to be independent...shey na America? Unless your papa na one rich senator for Abuja, you ultimately will learn to handle your business ya damn self.

Do I like being independent? No way. I think it's hella overrated and I need a nice long vacation from being a DIY woman. I mean, I have never had the luxury of not working...3 months after I landed in America, I got a job and I have been working since then. Like hellooo, can someone come and free me? Like can I go to the rental office one day to pay rent and the employees will say 'Ummm wow, Ms. Mgbeks, your rent for the entire 2010 has been paid by a certain Mr...'. Bwahahahha.
That aside, must I do everything for myself? Haba! The other day Nice Anon blogged about women who claim independent and they can't change a light bulb or take their car to get serviced. I'm not guilty but it sho' would be nice to have someone to that ish for me, nahh meaannn. Let me go on vacay with a man who will cover the entire hotel + car rental + air fare, is it too much to ask?
Why I gotta hire movers when I move? Why can't one knight in shining armor swoop in with his homeboys and a Uhaul truck to handle my stuff while I siddon and cross leg. Like Beyonce go tok, all these ones na serious sweet dreams sha o, but it is good to dream my brothers and sisters. :-D

So guess what y'all? I am officially tired of that status and am now lying in wait for the next RICH man who falls within 500 yards of me 'cos I am sooo dragging him down the altar. Okay, okay...I will make an exception...if he ain't rich, he should at least be able to take care of me. Una think say I dey play, when I tell people that me, I just wan marry one rich man and be a full time housewife (with one correct buying and selling business on the side), I get the blank stare. Whachu blanking me for? If you wan go do corporate madam for a fortune 500 company, knock yourself out honey while I balance well well for my rich husband's house and dey send Blessing the househelp up and down, LMAO! No offense to any ladies named Blessing sha o...

I mean...picture this. I find the above mentioned rich man/care taker man, put a ring on it and proceed to put in my 2 weeks notice at my job like right after the honeymoon. Mortgage payment? What is that? Greek? My 2020 BMW will be paid for by him AND I even get a monthly salary for being a full time stay at home mama (my friend came up with this brilliant idea, and I am in full support i.e salaries for stay at home mama's)...after all, is it easy to carry 5 bomboys for 9 months each and take care of them + him, my darling hubby? 'cos trust me...in appreciation for wifing me up and freeing me from the burdens of doing it all for myself and paying my own way, I promise that he will always come home to a warm, freshly cooked meal (by me, and not Blessing :-p) + other err...marital perks. Hahahaha.

Don't side eye me and call me a gold digger o! In fact, you can go ahead and knock yourself out because like I said, while you are sitting in your house and gossiping about me...your mortgage payment is waiting to be paid and I will be relaxing in my PAID FOR house while Hubby and I plan that all expenses paid trip to Rome (Bahamas is for the peasants, my hubby will be taking me to exclusive places)..lmaooo. I crack myself up.

So umm yeah, the entire summary of this long tori is that...yours truly is ready to ditch the indy woman status and find her a nice rich man, and so if any of you know any fine, sexy, RICH and eligible young bachelors, you may kindly re-direct them to this blog.

The end.

Bad personality traits of mine...

2010-01-18T15:37:00.006-05:00

Just because we all wish that I were perfect...

1. Proud/Stubborn:- I can be very proud and stubborn. I dislike being told what to do and I find it hard to apologize, although I'm working on that one. The extent of my pride is such that I once went for 3 months without speaking to my parents over an issue in which I felt that I was wronged (not proud of it). I can't tell you who didn't call me trying to be the voice of reason...my sister o, my aunties o and I said lai lai! In the end, my mom called and that was that. If I intend to get married, I will definitely need to work on that one sha o or else my bride price will be sent right back to my father. Ha!

2. Easily irritated:- The smallest, randomest things tick me off. If I start with a list of things and people that irritate me, e go long. On the flip side, my bouts of irritation do not last for too long so I guess that's good.

3. Quick tempered:- Which can tie back to being easily irritated. My disclaimer is that if you don't come at me the wrong way then all will be well.

4. Judgmental/Judging the book by it's cover:- Not in the typical sense of the word i.e I am not judgmental of people who the world would typical judge. Rather my own be say, I tend to look at people and instantly decide that they look irritating/annoying and from then on, my interactions with them aren't the warmest of warm. On the flip side, I've judged a couple of folk and ended up liking them/becoming friends so hope dey.

5. Confrontational:- How is this even bad sef? At least I say my piece, it's been said and you know my church mind but apparently I need to work on my approach 'cos folk don't be liking it when I call them out. These days I don dey tone am down sef... *shrugs*

6. Hot/Cold emotions:- This doesn't occur too often but I do have my internalized hot/cold moments towards the world in general. Today I'm in the mood for you, and tomorrow I'm not. It's absolutely nothing personal.

7. Anal (sometimes):- I can be very anal about my possessions and my space in general. If I give something to you, kindly return it the way that it was given to you. I don't like people messing up my space...I'm the only one allowed to mess up my space.

8. Sharp tongue/smart mouth:- I will admit that e reach to tone am down sha o, one of my friends don include me in her prayer sef. Keep praying for me o! Hahahaha. But that's the essence of moiiii naaa.

9. Always wanting to have the last word:- I mean, why shouldn't I though? I gotta have the last say yo! (Another thing to work on in marriage if I don't want those 5 goats and yams getting sent back to my father). :-D

10. Very defensive:- I can ve very defensive and will take things out of context as personal attacks sometimes so I am always armed and ready for a comeback. In sec. school I earned the nickname of ER aka Ever Ready to attack. LMAO...how very sad.

And that is truly all that I could think of...

How y'all doing?
I feel like I'm losing my blog mojo...I will find it sha, no doubt. Where e wan run go?
Happy MLK day sha o, for my yankee peeps. Have a great week.

Those frontin' azz Naija babes...

2010-01-07T22:26:00.005-05:00

Happy new year my peoples. I hail una oooo...how has the '10 been treating you guys so far?

On to the koko of the matter...

I've been having a lot of convos with men that revolve around the fronting nature of we Nigerian girls. They usually identify me as the poster child of women who don't front and then say something along the lines of 'that is so refreshing, because a whole lot of you Nigerian women front too much'. And so, I have appointed myself as Voltron, defender of all Nigerian women.
This is the Q that I usually throw back at them...'Can you please define fronting?', and till date I have never really got a clear cut definition.

I mean for real, what exactly constitutes fronting??
Oh, and I find it extra interesting when some of these men say 'Nigerian women front too much, to toast you women is a huge hassle and that is why I don't date y'all'. LOL...like I once told a culprit...'I highly doubt that Nigerian women are crying over this'. Like seriously dudes, no woman's world has crashed yet because you took your business elsewhere, don't get too excited now...
...But back to the Q...what exactly constitutes fronting??

I think that a lot of men who accuse us ladies of fronting need to work on their approach to begin with. For instance, today on the train I sat with 3 Nigerian dudes (coincidence), one of them randomly struck up convo, they all introduced themselves and when I introduced myself, they found out that I was a Naija babe...I kept it relatively friendly, we chatted about clubs in DC vs. Baltimore, our famed Naija terrorist and some random other ish and before I hopped off the train, one of them said...'So why don't you give us your number, maybe we can hang out one of these weekends when you are free'...(I had kinda sorta seen it coming, from his general interaction with me).
Me, I kuku said...'Oh, like y'all share a phone or something?' and his boys cracked up and said that I had jokes. I mean, in 2010...people are saying 'give us your number??'...seriously??...and then since the joke was on him, he said 'Oh I mean, give me your number' and I gave the generic 'Well, are you on FB? I can look you up on there instead' with absolutely no intention of doing such.
Now if you ask the man if he thought that I was fronting, he might tell you a big 'heck yeah'!...If you ask me, heck no I wasn't going to give him my digits.
1. That was a 30 minute train ride. I was chatting with him + 2 other men, it wasn't even no one on one ish...what kind of connection did the man think that we had, that we should now be exchanging numbers?
2. That 'give us your number' wackness totally did him in.

Nigerian men, that is one example of how you lot can change your approach when it comes to us ladies. It seems like a lot of you cats are into the whole 'fast food love' kinda deal...if you meet Girl A and she doesn't share her digits in the space of 1 hr, she is suddenly fronting. Oya now, carry go.

Then you got those clowns who come up to you at parties and rudely grab you for some wack ass grindin'. I mean...seriously though? From where to where now? So when a very pissed off woman turns around to give you that grade A evil eye, you're like 'Nigerian women too dey front sha o, a bro can't even get a dance'. Yup, we won't roll with that foolishness so call it whatever you wanna call it.

And then sometimes, the women that you'se lot are interacting with are just plain ol' reserved and not as forthcoming. You wanna talk about sex, she doesn't feel too comfy discussing sex...you say that she is fronting.
You just met her and maybe she's not the type to be shining her 32 any and anyhow, so her reception to you wasn't as warm as you would have wanted it to be, you say that she is fronting.
I actually had a convo with a friend who told me that a good % of the girls that he's met who went to my secondary school initially came off as some major fronters and of course he issued the disclaimer of 'you were different'...so I asked him how the babes were fronting, and he said that when he met the good number that he's met and got introduced to them, they gave him a couple of dry hi's and hello's or something like that. LOL...na wa o!
Mind you, I met him at a club in Chicago and err...there is only so much fronting or chilly hello's that one can dish out and receive in a club setting and so that left no room for any potential fronting. Hahahaha...maybe if he had met me under different circumstances, I might have been on the list of 'those Feddy girls who front too much'. Hilarity!

So to conclude this matter, seriously guys...before you're quick to point accusing fingers at frontin' azz Nigerian girls, why don't you take a step back and analyze your approach (in simple English: Step your game up honey) and the way you are viewing the situation...sometimes it really aint what you make it out to be.

But not too disagree with the fact that yes, there are some Naija babes who are on a whole 'nother P sha ooo but that is besides the marra. :-)

Alrighty, time to sign off. Before I go sha o, nna meeeen this cold don do me strong thing o, chei! No place to hide mayne, e be laik say cold front full ground for everywhere including Miami. I truly no blame those babes who don organize some 'winter runs'. Nahmeannn? Hahahaha...God dey sha, My Lord will keep me warm or as my babe Nicey m go tok...'The Lord is on the throne'...:-D

G'nite mi loves. I promise to make some real blog rounds this weekend.

Taking Stock 2009

2009-12-28T19:47:00.001-05:00

Before I even start tori for here, I just wan greet una. I feel like I've been away from blogsville for a minute. I mean, I hella used to update like 2x a week and now the tori don change...blame it on time constraints. How was your holiday season? I hope that Santa brought you all that you wished for and more.

Aniwoos on to the short thing of the long thing, I saw this on Taynement's blog and said that I was sooo gonna tiff it, so here I am in all my thievery. Join me as I recap 2009 in a coupla bits and pieces.

Faith
If you read and remember, you will know that I'm very hot and cold with my faith. Today I wanna be a pastor's wife and tomorrow, the inner ~~slutacious~~ bad girl takes the lead. I mean, I started '09 off in hot hot mode, I even temporarily quit drinking and err that was major 'cos I usually never say no to anything that involves the good sizzurp. I actually considered working in church too as I felt kinda ready to take that step. Today, what is the story? I haven't been to church in a minute, have abandoned the concept of paying tithes (but I no fit skip offering sha) and the bad girl is totally dominating the world. I just know that sometimes God looks down at me and sighs...but I think that with religion I tend to be so black and white about things that sometimes I just feel this ridiculous pressure to not do X Y Z 'cos that is not what a good christian girl should do, and I'm learning to not be so hard on myself. Like for the longest time I refused to go to church because I felt that it was pointless if I was still gonna get into the same ol' sin from Mon-Sat, ya dig? So for the 2010, I hope to just take things one step at a time and see how things go with the big G up there.

Family
I have what I like to call a 'very interesting' family, however my immediate fam has always been the constant and I love them dearly. I thank God that 2009 kept my family safe and sound through the ups and downs of the year...especially my parents who live in Port Harcourt where kidnappings have been so rampant. May 2010 bring greater things for us ooo.

Friendship
Ahhh the good ol' friends. I love them folk, I really do. For the most part, everyone remained constant 'cept for one in which the dynamics changed but that was cool with me, it was a long time coming. This year I definitely learned that sometimes the fact that 'we've been friends for X years' does not always cut it if ish is just plain ol' stagnant. A good chunk of my friends are long distance and I would have loved to see everyone more often but we still ultimately got to see each other so that was good. I also met some new folk and I reconnected with others. All in all, I will say that it was a good year for friendships and I truly appreciate and feel blessed by these very diverse group of individuals.

Finances
I have money saved but I could have definitely put more away. To voltron for myself, I splurged on a bit of travel this year. On a better note, I made some grown up decisions concerning my cash money so that was a plus. In terms of debt, I only have student loans + a car note and so thankfully, credit card payments are one less thing to deal with. Generally, the finances in 'O9 weren't too terrible sha but I could have done better.

Education/Career
In terms of the career, I think that I have what most people would call 'a good job' and I don't disagree, I feel blessed to be in my position. The education part na another tori. This year I definitely bounced back and forth between options sotay the thing no get part 2. Let's see... I randomly decided to go for an Msc in Forensic Accounting (I was genuinely interested in the program), applied and got accepted for Fall '09 and then took a step back and decided that it might not be as diverse and marketable if I decided to relocate to Naija. Then I did what I swore I'd never do and actually started considering getting an MBA. My argument for this was that an MBA is very marketable and in some instances is almost as good as having a CPA (in case I got lazy and decided not to go the CPA route), I got a GMAT prep book and had my action plan set. Then... I fell off, lost my motivation and started observing people who took/are taking the CPA exam. Do they have 2 heads? I'm scared of the darn exam but yes we can, abi? So I ditched the MBA plan and decided for real, for real to hop onto 'Operation conquer the CPA exam', after which I could take the CFE and CISA exams and call it a day in terms of certifications, and that is where I currently stand. Don't even think about shaking your head at me... I got this! :-D
Reminds me of how I bounced between Computer Science and Psychology for college major options before finally settling for Accounting. Hahahaha!

Relationships
LOL. People keep asking why I'm single like there's some tree out there where chicks go to pluck hot and sexy men. For the most part I feel like the caliber of men who approached me this year were just not cutting it at all, and I don't even consider myself to be unreasonably picky. It was either that they weren't serious candidates...(just on some plain iti kom kom levels), they appeared to be a little too traditional or I just was not feeling them...zero sex appeal, zero swag (I know the word is overplayed but it is oh so accurate), just generally came off as razz and bush, like abegi we can only have one razz person in a relationship and that will be moi, thank you very much. So for the '09, I was/am quite singular and in all honesty, I can't say that I have any complaints about that status.

Physical Health and Fitness
I guess this will be a good time to confess that I have never been to the gyno for those check ups where they stick a piece of metal up in your goodies *shudders*, nor have I been to see a doc for a physical in errr 9 years *hangs head in shame*... It's so terrible that my friends have often threatened to disown me. Somehow sha, I have remained healthy and free of ailments and things. I'm actually kinda scared to go to the doc sef, in case they discover something. Ignorance is bliss yeah? So I really don't make resolutions but I resolve to finally make use of my insurance and go and see a doc. Why else do they deduct X amount from my checks if I aint making use of it. Smh...
In terms of fitness, I was on some gym steez earlier this year, gymed often, ate right and lost 10-12lbs or more. Then I fell off and gained it back and I was trynna go out the other day and realized that I looked like a stuffed chicken in all my dresses...so err that's definitely not good *makes mental note to hit the gym real soon*. But all in all, I am alive and well so we thank God.

Addictions/Bad habits/Social Life
I'm a shopaholic. That's my sport... to heck with Basketball and Soccer. I have close to 80 pairs of shoes and a ishload of clothes and accessories to show for it. I will say though that I made some shopping improvements i.e buying ish that I really wanted as opposed to buying just because it was on sale or it came in my shoe size and that's major 'cos I used to be so guilty of shopping with no real aim/ambition. I thought I was an internet addict but these days I truly do not have time to even do much 'cept for check my email so maybe not. I thought I was addicted to my Blackberry till I had to go without it for a week and I truly didn't miss it up, so maybe not. I guess shopping = main vice. My social life was good, I mingled, interacted, danced, drank and had a good time but I also enjoyed quite a bit of homebody bumming around in PJ's all weekend type of days so I think that it was a nice balance.

Miscellaneous
All in all, I give 2009 a B+. I might not have appeared to have my ish entirely together but mentally, I felt great! This was one of my most confident years where I just felt like I was generally doing the damn thing. I felt wiser, smarter, hotter, sexier, more intelligent, more secure of myself, more comfortable in my skin. I felt like my relationships improved and in general I just felt like this was a really fun year . As I advance into the new year, I can only hope and pray that by 2010 year end, I will be rating that year as an A+ year.

There you have it. 2009 in a nutshell...and on a final note, I just wanna say a big THANK YOU to everyone who reads and comments, lurks and never comments, the people who deem this blog worthy to be followed, the people who have sent me random emails (they truly make me smile), the bloggers that I have gotten a chance to interact with off Blogsville...who have been so helpful and caring, and my blogsville fam in general. Thank you guys so much for riding 2009 with me. I am so glad that we didn't have to mourn any of our fellow bloggers this year and I pray that as we advance into a new one, God (or whatever forces you believe in) will continue to keep you safe, alive and healthy. May your new year be a great and fantabulous one worthy of a A+ rating.

Much love. We go all jam in the 2010...

Random update of some sorts

2009-12-13T01:21:00.000-05:00

Apt title...since I really have no title in mind for this one.

I will admit that it annoys me when people say things like 'I don't expect anything from anyone' in relation to friendships.
If you don't expect anything from your friends then who will you expect it from?
What exactly is it, that you do not expect? You don't expect friend A to offer a listening ear or helping hand when you need it the most? Then why is he/she your friend? 'Cos he/she offers great shopping advice and always has the first scoop on what is going on in Hollywood? I really don't get it... Maybe someone can explain it to me sha o. My own be say that if you don't expect anything of me then maybe you don't value me as much as I'd like you to and err that might be a problem.
I know, I know... My attitude towards a lot of things tend to leave little room for gray areas... Na so so black or white. Maybe I need to work on that ehn?
Oh and before someone comes with the 'humans are inherently evil' argument, like I always like to say 'give people a chance to mess up first'. No long thing...

I think its interesting how you encounter some people who swear that you are their personal person and what not, I like to think of these folks as being the empty barrels who make the most noise or like Kelly Hansome go tok am, this na serious case of iti kom kom. They make the most noise because when you actually need them to be more about the talk, and less about the action na so e go fly you like say you dey airport tarmac and British Airways just flew past you. Hmm hmm they aint slick indeed.

Some people are interesting, take 2. Whoever came up with the term 'be slow to speak' and what not, sure wasn't lying. I think it's quite interesting how folk get all emotional and say all this stuff out of anger, and then selectively forget their words in like 2 weeks. If you feel X way then so be it, don't try to come and be all LOL, smiley face-ish later on sha.

I'm watching MSNBC lock up, and tis quite interesting. One inmate in the mentally ill unit has been locked up since 1993 when in a delusional haze, he shot his mom and ate her brains. Wow!

I really and truly am so over it.

Some of my friends said that I can be 'surface'. Now I make an extra effort to share what I imagine to be adequate updates. I don't think that I'm surface, I just don't feel like most things in my life are gist worthy and for the rest, maybe I like to digest and turn whatever the heck it is over before I share. On the flip side, sometimes I get the feeling that people do not even listen in the first place, so why bother sef? I will admit that I'm definitely not one to talk about my problems though, I tend to internalize those ones a lot. In the past coupla weeks I've been on all sorts of emotional rollercoasters, highs and lows, hot and colds, bleh and okay etc etc and to begin with, I can't place one finger on what the main wahala is, talkless of even trying to talk about it with anyone. That is my story on that one, and I am sticking to it.

Some people don dey seriously fall my hand sha, but it really is all good.

I was telling someone how I've noticed how a whole bunch of caucasians be getting married early (I.e before 28-30, per my definition). 80% of all the oyinbo people that I work with are married. I also noted this at my old job. Another observation was that a bunch of them tend to get married to their high school sweethearts and sure enough, when I asked my senior where he met his wife, he said high school. I have now taken to generally checking for wedding rings on every Caucasian that I see/run into... At work, the mall, the train etc and a good number of them definitely be sporting wedding bands and rings. Interesting.

I cringe every time people use the term 'Akata' but I don't cringe for 'Oyinbo' sha. Is this a double standard? :-D

I just generally need the world to be straight forward with me. Are you loving me, or are you hating me? Do you like me, or do you not like me? Do you consider me to be a good friend or do you not consider me to be a good friend? Please circle Y or N. Dealing with people = sometimes quite challenging and I tell ya, I'm just about done with those guessing games. Let's all advance into the 2010 with a clear sense of who is who, and what is what...amen to that!

I watched the Blind side movie and I absolutely loved it. Initially I was cringing like 'the sappiness is killing me softly' and then I got into it. Loved Sandra Bullock's character and the lil boy as well. Prior to this, I hadn't been to the movies since June abi July. I guess me + the movies are really not meant to be. I wouldn't even have seen this one sef, if my coworker hadn't suggested that we go to the movies.

Ok I think I have rambled enough and really should stop here 'cos if you leave me, I go siddon here and just dey yarn/get stuff off my chest.

On a side note,I do not have my personal laptop on me, so can't make the rounds yet but I will certainly get to that soon (I hope), I'm doing the phone blogging thingy again.
I greet each and everyone of you, most especially my anonymous commenters who truly make me smile with the kind words.

Have a fantastic week.

Do you know your blood GenoType?

2009-12-02T20:41:00.002-05:00

How many of you know your blood Genotype? Can I get a quick show of hands? When I say blood Genotype, I mean...do you know if you are an AA, AS or SS?

It seems that this concept of knowing your Genotype was heavily promoted in Nigeria 'cos I've met a whole bunch of people in this US of A, and when I randomly ask them...'do you know your blood Genotype?', I get a whole bunch of blank stares. It's especially interesting to note that the folk who are getting married in this day and age are equally just as clueless about this one, which I find quite surprising.

Just in case you don't know anything about your blood Genotype, make I edumacate una small small...abeg take am easy o, I no be dokita or Biology major.

If your GT is AA: You are pretty much set. You can marry an AA and your kids will all be AA, You can marry an AS and there is a % chance (not to sure the exact figure) that some of your kids will have the AS GT or you can even marry SS sef and your kids will have the AS blood type (worst case scenario).

If your GT is AS: You don't have it that easy. If you get married to an AS man/woman, there is a % chance as well that one or more of your kids will have the SS blood GT (worst case scenario), or the AS blood GT (best case scenario). So if you have 4 kids, 3 of 'em might be AS and one might be SS.

And, if your GT is SS: I advise you to just stick to trying to get with an AA individual or if you meet a fellow SS or AS man/woman of your dreams...you might just wanna consider adopting kids.

I hope that I have managed to convince and not confuse any of una. Anyone who has better knowledge of this kini should please feel free to pick holes in my 'edumacation' and show them the way o jare. No problem!

Soooo, ya girl's blood GenoType is AS and growing up, my ma always made sure to drum it into our heads...Whatever you do, do not marry an AS dude because you do not want to deal with the burden of having a child who has sickle cell (SS Blood GT). And so, armed with that word of advice, when I meet men...along with the preliminary 'Do you have a 401k plan' initial 20 questionnaire that I have prepped for them, I also ask them...'what is your blood GenoType?'... Ha!

I keed, I keed.

Actually, I never really paid much mind to asking men what their blood GT was 'cos true talk, I wasn't even thinking that far ahead but it all came back to me when I got older and I started dating this guy who I tentatively gisted my mom about. And being the forward thinking woman that she is, she asked me...'Do you know what his blood GT is?' and I said 'ummm...no'. But she gave me something to think about, and the very next day I asked him what his GT was and true talk, he aint know (he was born and raised here, wonder if that was a factor for not knowing). But that's another story for another day...or more like never. Ha!

This summer, I tagged along with my friend to ze Hospital. We went to see a mutual friend's brother who was admitted because he had a sickle cell episode (both parents are AS + she had an older brother who died from sickle cell complications, as well ). I tell you, seeing that ish up close and personal was not the business at all. The poor boy was hooked up to all kinds of tubes and was writhing around in SO much pain that by the time I walked out of that hospital, my eyes were wet with tears. It was truly humbling to see this with my own korokoro eyes, I mean...some people get problem for this world o. As a sickle cell child, there are so many restrictions on what one can do and those episodes occur every so often. Kai!

Sooo I did some thinking and I was like na wa o, as an AS babe I no wan carry sickle cell pikin na but does this mean that I have automatic grounds for NEXTING an AS candidate who wants to make me his baby mama? Nope. Like I mentioned, when AS meets AS and they make a baby, it's not going to be a 100% chance that the baby will be SS. Maybe baby # 1 will be AS and baby #2 will be AS but baby #3 just might be SS so errrm if you get 2 healthy babies, you fit end the discussion right there and adopt the rest. But on the flip side, baby #1 could be SS even if the other babies turn out to be AS so errmmm....

Also, if you are not anti-adoption, then sure you can marry whoever you want to marry without the fear that any of your children will have sickle cell blood type.

For someone like me who has this ridiculous ridiculous fear of childbirth, the intense pain (And all those episodes of 16 and pregnant aint helping matters), labor and the whole 9 yards...I am very pro adoption. If I met a man who said 'baby, let's adopt all the way', you don't even know how happy I would be. So ahem, if I met an AS man who said something along the lines of...'Let's not even risk having an SS kid, so let's adopt all our kiddies', I would give him a big fat kiss and say YAY. LOL...

I mean, I always say that it's already hard enough to meet a correct individual that you want to spend the rest of your life with. You gotta factor in 'family history', education, religion, if you're Igbo the fact that he/she is Osu could be a HUGE no-no, then you gotta think about Blood GenoType too? e no easy sha o!

Ah wellz. This ends my PSA for the day. Go home and ask your lovers if they know what their blood GT is. Let's edumacate ourselves on this kini!

CNN Heroes

2009-11-26T22:46:00.007-05:00

I watched CNN Heroes and I must confess that watching some of those people's stories, did inspire a tear or two to spring to my eyes. My friend said that I am supposedly getting soft on her, and maybe she is right. I mean like...these people are nothing short of AMAZING.
There was a school bus driver in NYC who gets off work at 5pm every day, and then he and his family start their 2nd job which is full time cooking 365 days a week for about 140 homeless people in Queens, NY. He has 6 fridges in his house to store all the food stuff, and his retired mom who could be resting her feet and enjoying her days of no work and a hopefully nice pension chooses to stand on her feet instead and join in the cooking. One of the most touching things about his speech was when he pointed out that his sister (who didn't make the awards) stayed behind in Queens, NY so that the homeless men and women would not go hungry for even one night. That was my ultimate CNN hero of 2009.

There was a pilot who along with the support of his wife and 3 kids started an orphanage in Indonesia to provide shelter, comfort, education and food to abandoned babies/motherless babies/refugees.

There was a man who provides wheelchairs to disabled children in IraQ. You could just see the hope and gratefulness that these children and their families feel when they receive the wheelchairs.

There was a woman from Zimbabwe who was raped as a young child, and now provides hope and a helping hand to Zimbabwean victims of rape and abuse.

Among others...

I mean, I was watching and I was truly like WOW. These are regular and ordinary people like me and you, who are doing inspiring things. I know that I may not wake up tomorrow with a dream for a cause but I'm definitely filled with the urge to support, support, support.
I was happy to know that each of the nominated heroes will receive a 25k grant, and the Hero of the year received an additional 100k grant...all to support their causes.

More info on the heroes can be found here:CNN Heroes

And if you can, please do donate, support and make your own little (or big) mark in the world. :-)

Fudgemuffin

2009-11-25T06:41:00.000-05:00

I don't like to curse. I cringe everytime I encounter someone with a potty mouth...and it's really not about being a goody 2 shoes or whatevs. It's just one of my things.

And so, for all your favorite curse words, I like to find nicer replacements. For instance:
Modachoker
The very common bish or beesh.
And my recent fave: Fudgemuffin which really should represent curse words of the 'F' variety.

Fudgemuffin!!!
That was exactly what sprung to mind when I landed at the Train station at 6:20am and realized that I had left my wallet at home. Modachoker!!! Who leaves their wallet at home? That precious wallet happens to contain my monthly pass for the train. What had happened was... I took it out of my bag to carry to the gym. I always take it out on my way to the gym cos my license and insurance card is in it, and you just never know...and I guess this time around, I totally missed the memo and forgot to stick it back in my bag.
So, I was faced with 2 options:
A. Go back home and retrieve it.
B. Wing it without the wallet, any form of cash and any means of paying for my commute back and forth.

I picked B. Hopped my pretty behind on the train, and when the ticket guy came around... I simply told him that I forgot my monthly pass and couldn't buy a regular one way pass cos I gots no wallet. He simply shook his head and walked away to which I called out a very sheepish 'thank youu' to his retreating back.
As for the 2nd leg of the trip, I just rustled up some change which should be enough to send me off on my merry one way commute.

I think that I might be able to find my bank somewhere in the vicinity so that should solve the problem of cash to make my way home.
Note to self: Never leave your wallet at home again. I can already spot the inconvenience from afar. No cash for my almost orgasmic morning coffee, no bankcard for any err...incidentals, no license + insurance just in case, I get pulled over for some odd reason or even worse, get into an accident (I reject am!) Etc etc.
I know, I know...who thinks that far ahead?

Aniwoos. I really was just looking for any excuse to update. I miss Blogsville + it seems that I currently appear to be having 'blogger's block'.
Currently typing from my phone and it really isn't bad at all, I can definitely get with the blogging from phone program.

Gotta run, but before I do I must say... HAPPY THANKSGIVING. There is a lot to be thankful for even though we do not realize it.

Ok gotta run for real, its time to catch the next train.

Peace and Love,
Mgbeks.

Confessions, Confessions, Confessions

2009-11-13T21:38:00.003-05:00

It's Fridayyyy. Let me start the weekend right by confessing the following confessions.

I confess that:

1. The only reason why some people are still on my FaceBook friends list is JUST so that I can look at their interesting photo albums. Finito. Don't side eye me, you know you are guilty of that too.

2. I enjoy seeing people hooking up/meeting new new/talking to new dudes. It's a generally cute thing about the newness of relationships, flings and things.

3. I don't think that one is too old to make friends. Sometimes even at the age of 40, you may meet someone and it will be an instant connection.

4. I still don't know how to deal with what I think are the complexities in individuals and so my best strategy is usually to retreat and chill in my little corner. I think it works (for me at least).

5. I've been on this 'self destructive' diet plan where I have refused to drink H20 for the past 2 months or so. Like seriously, I can't remember the last time I drank water. I have also insisted on eating the fattiest and unhealthiest foods available. I drink like 2 cans of soda a day, I eat dunkin donuts croissants and muffins for breakfast and mega calorie steez for lunch/dinner and I have definitely gained a whopping 10lbs. *munches a pecan brownie as I type*
I was talking to my friend the other day, while I pulled up to the Wendy's drive through and she got on me about my so-called plan to bring sexy back (which sooo fell off effective Aug 2009) to which I responded that 'I will be back with a bang'. Trust me, I will. Hahahaha...I usually have my 'on the grind' and 'slacker' moments. Slacker mode is in full effect and I am enjoying it o jare.
a. It's winter time, aint no one seeing my frame underneath all these winter coats and scarves. Besides I need some extra fat to stay warm.
b. No boo to entice with a sexy 6 pack. *chortles*
c. I just feel like stuffing my face dammit.
Check back in a few months sha. :-D

6. Blood is NOT always thicker than water. Family is NOT always the set of people who have your best interests at heart. It is what it is...

7. I'm past the stage of expecting my friends to share a good % of the things that go on in their lives with me. In fact, I don't ask anymore. If you want to share, feel free. If not, no wahala. However, I do expect to be at least kept in the basic loop. How does one get engaged and you find out like 5 months later? Best believe that I would NOT be attending that wedding, if it was me.

8. I have not been to church in 2.5 months. Partly due to some out of town kind of commitments and partly due to a case of 'I just didn't feel like it'. I did mention something about an on and off relationship with the main G abi?
I will say though that I am in constant amazement of his infinite mercies and his grace. Even if I never enter church in a minute, I still try to speak to him as often as I can and I thank him because really, who I be??? I do not deserve anything, absolutely nada!

9. I have this friend who I have the most heelarious/interesting/random and off the wall Gchat conversations with. If anyone ever hacked into our accounts, they would be like WTH at some of our convos. Sometimes I re-read just for the heck of it and crack up, great blackmail material indeed. Ha!

10. I tend to let things roll off my back. I can't say that my life in general has been brilliant and oh so wonderful but I think that thanks to my outlook on life, I make it brilliant by force, LOL. I did a post on happiness a while back and commented on how in general, I'm like a happy kid (thanks to the simple things in life), but somewhere in my being I keep thinking that c'mon, it's not normal to feel this content and at peace, like the G-O-D is going to spring one nice one on me to test me. Hmmmm...
BUT till then, I will keep on trucking and loving my life as I see it, imperfections and all.

How una dey? I greet oooo.
I hope you lot have a very fantabulous weekend. I am supposed to be seeing Nneka in concert but why do I just wanna sleep all weekend through??? I actually went to bed at 9.30 last night. *blank stare*...na so e dey start!

Peace & Love.

Update!

2009-11-10T19:26:00.007-05:00

Ha, the title fit am abi 'cos it is an update. :-D

Sweet Mother
My mother left me on Sunday after a 4 week stay and I miss her tons. I enjoyed having her around...it was always nice to come home to a nice warm meal (she always made sure of that), a hug and/or a smile and the latest gist (anything that I might have missed between the hours of 9-5...LOL). As I get older, my relationship with my ma keeps improving (cos we sure had our disagreements and things in the past) and we have gotten to a place where we now understand how each other operates well well. I was definitely very sad to see her go at the airport and I prayed that God would continue to keep her and bless her just as she has been a blessing to her entire family. Love you ma! BIGGG KISSS.
[/end sappy bit]

Life as a Commuter
I have now joined the league of individuals who commute to work and I love it. I do not miss driving, AT ALL.
There are some pros and cons. I will start with the cons first...
Cons:- I gotta wake up at 5:30am to keep up with the Train schedule. That's it.
Pros:- They outweigh the cons.
1. I've always enjoyed the hustle and bustle of the DC Metro System during rush hour...millions of people dashing to catch their Red, Orange, Green, Blue and Yellow lines (even though the next one is probably going to pull up in 5 mins but in this recession, I guess every 5 minutes counts), extra packed trains and the whole 9 yards...some people hate it, but I love it and it ain't any different this time. It's an excellent spot to people watch.
2. I just might cancel my gym membership. All that racing up and down escalators and through train stations + my job isn't that close to the metro so I gotta bang out a 10 minute walk to and from. This is the most exercise that I've gotten in a minute.
3. If you commuted in DC you wouldn't mind it. This isn't the Tin cans on wheels that exist in NYC. In DC, they boast carpeted trains filled with clean professionals and normal looking folk, bright and airy train stations and it is guaranteed that you will never see a rat dashing up and down the platforms, unlike the NYC subway system. (Just had to get my yab of the day in, I still love you New York).

Other things...
1. Na wa for this Fort Hood Massacre ooo. You know how you ask people if they will ever live in Nigeria and they say ish like 'Abeg o, I no fit. Too much armed robbers and lack of security'...but when you take a step back and think am, too much were (mad person in the Yoruba language) full this country ooo. Ah ah, you go tok say you wan go school...mad pesin go start shooting.
You go tok say you wan go work, mad person who dey vex say he got laid off will come and start shooting. Everywhere you turn, someone is shooting. There was even that mall shooting that occurred was it 2-3 years ago? Ah ah, all I wanna do is shop na. God save us all.
Meanwhile, isn't it always very interesting how fingerpointing starts to occur after ish like this? After 9-11, there was the fingerpointing and now this one. Hmm Hmmm.

2. So the ex-DC sniper; John Allen Muhammed is going to be executed at 9pm tonight. He claims that he is innocent. Very interesting. I will definitely be catching up on Larry King as he covers the topic. It's 2009 and I don't know how I feel about the death penalty.

3. A United Airlines pilot got arrested at Heathrow Airport for attempting to fly a plane with 124 passengers from London to Chicago while he was under the influence. This is just breaking news as I type, WTH is up with these pilots o. Abeg no be my life wey dem go carry play.

4. Happy Vets day in advance. I'm OFF and looking forward to a relaxing day.

Ciaooooo.

Secondary School: The different categories of Individuals.

2009-11-03T15:18:00.003-05:00

I went to a very reputable FGGC. By reputation, our girls are known to be very fine, accomplished and generally very correct. (Hi Haters) :-D
A bunch of us also migrated to this end and so I've been hanging with them a lot these days. Every time we get together, we reminisce about how things used to back in the day, the punishments that we served… ‘Kneel down and fly your hands’ or those cries for ‘A junior girlllllll’. LOL. Fun times…

Either way, I had to sit and think about the categories of characters that we had in secondary school and so I present to you...

The Popular Jingos aka bubblers: These were the ones who were popular chicks in school. If we had a Press club or Senior Lit event, na these popular jingos wey go climb on top stage to mime to songs. They were known for being hot steppers and usually had official roles in all the happening social clubs on campus. People in this category usually ended up getting the role of Social Prefect and they knew all the who is who that there was to be known in school.

The Spiros aka SU: These ones were always in church or some kind of fellowship. You would NEVER find a spiro climbing on top stage to mime to songs. Ah ah, that one would be breaking news o. It would make headlines. Most of these spiros ended up being the Catholic prefect, the Protestant prefect or having roles in the fellowship scene. We usually kept an ear glued to their conduct off campus in order to determine if they were living the spiro lives off campus as well or if they were bubbling.

The Defaulters: Ah ah, if dem tok say write down names of noise makers, these ones would always make the list. Their ‘brush’ was on some defaulting status and they never obeyed the school rules. These were the girls who would scale campus gate or leave school without prior approval and permission. They hardly ever got roles as prefects because they had already earned a reputation as main defaulters.

The Daystudents: These ones were pretty much on the dry side. We didn’t know much about them, as they came and went after school was over. We did have a couple of bubbling day students sha but it was pretty rare. They were dry by default and only came in useful during Valentines day events when we needed them to help us buy gifts that we could send to our ‘vals’.

The Ajebotas: These ones were known for ‘janding’ every summer and coming back with some nice ajebo looking stuff. They had groupies and followers because of their ajebo status. If you looked inside their lockers, you were bound to see a bunch of rice kripsies and other ajebo looking provisions. These group of people usually ended up also falling into the popular jingo category.

The Americanas: This one na new one because one semester we got to school and discovered that a whole bunch of ‘Americanas’ i.e Girls who were born and raised in Yankee got sent back to Naija to go learn their culture or whatever. It was like an American explosion on the school grounds... Na so so we go dey waka pass and hear ‘schwi schwi’ phonetics…most of these girls by default fell into the ajebota category and these ones na the tried and true ajebotas for never in their lives had they ever had a reason to fetch water in a bucket and carry it for one mile to their dormitories, never did they have to take baths in such bootleg bathrooms or hold their faeces in for 1 week because the toilet situations was just not cutting it…amongst other things. He He

The Wannabes aka Swagger Jackers: In all sense of the world, these girls were naturally WACK and DRY but they were really sweating the Popular jingos, Ajebotas and what have you and tried their very best to be recognized as such. Unfortunately for them, we saw right through their BS and they ended up being the virtual punching bags of the people that they tried so hard to be like (although everyone else knew it, but they didn’t).

The Efficos aka Bookatees: My school had this habit of announcing the top 3 and bottom 3 in their classes on assembly grounds and the efficos never failed to make the list of the first 3. They were known for their studious and serious ways and a bunch of them usually ended up being appointed as prefects because they were considered to be a good representative of the school. Most efficos hardly ever climbed stage to mime.

The Bad girls: Some of them fell into the popular jingo category as well. These ones were known for being badoski babes. In fact rumor dey fly say some of these girls had done abortions (some of them dey use hanger for the abortions sef), while the rest of them were known for sleeping with their boyfriends. Abeg o, at 16 what did we know about sex? In my mind these babes were BAD girls. Na these same babes wey dey scale school gate to conduct rendezvous with men from the neighboring Government college. Most of these girls fell into the defaulter category as well.

The Razz babes: Just like we had our popular jingos, we also had our razz babes. Very razz babes who no send anybody’s side and so they got their own form of respect for staying so true to themselves.

The Outcasts: Those babes wey dey wet their bed even up till SS1-3, those babes that were known for stealing and/or being kleptomaniacs. Those generally DRY chicks who no one gave 2 chits about, na the outcasts be that.

The all rounders: They didn’t fall into any specific category and could relate with most people in the different categories. They were generally liked by all and were a good asset because of their versality.

Did I forget anyone?Ha! School was too much fun sha o. I sha observed that most of the efficos kept up the trend and turned out to be those super achievers even here in Yanks, the Popular jingos also kept the trend and some of the so-called outcasts actually metamorphed into some really correct chicks.

The IBTC

2009-10-25T20:35:00.005-04:00

Yup, that’s right. I said…the IBTC. Don’t give me that blank stare, you no sabi wetin IBTC means? Ooooh you don't. Oya let me edumacate somebody up in this piece.
IBTC = Itty Bitty Titty Committee. Now don’t say I never taught you anything.

This post is inspired by a recent post by IphyIgboGal on boobage. She recently blogged about having big boobs and so I was like voila! I can blog about having some ittay bittay tittays. Cue the Beyonce now… All my ~~single~~ IBTC ladies, now put your hands up!

For purposes of this post…IBT’s = Ittay Bittay Tittays.

My friend says that I’m one of those weird people who don’t seem to have any body part complexes and I think that she’s right. I can’t think of anything on my being that I would love to change or wish I didn’t have, these IBT’s included. That wasn’t always the case though…growing up, when every girl was approaching puberty and coming into themselves, and wearing bras was the new and hot thing…I certainly had my fair share of ‘why me’ moments.
‘Why haven’t my boobs grown?’
‘When will they grow?’
‘Will they ever be as big as the rest of the worlds?’
I hated having small boobs and I had quite a complex about 'em. I would play around and stuff my bra with tissue dreaming of the day when I would finally fill out my shirts and tops like everybody else and as you know having boobs has always been hot with the men and so I felt like my lack of boobage seriously diminished my attractiveness factor.
I used to feel somewhat self conscious in swimsuits ‘cos that one na the real kobalizer…lmao, if you were rocking a padded bra which might have fooled somebody, the instant you break out the swim suit, ain’t not much fooling that you could fool anybody o jare. Oh, and remember how there was this myth about how if you go to sleep with your bra on, it would restrict the growth of your boobies? So best believe I made it a point to NEVER sleep with my bra on. Hmmph, some good it did me.

And till today, I have no freakin’ idea where I got these IBT’s from oo. All the women in my immediate family have some nice, decent sized boobage…even my mama sef dey wonder as she sometimes assesses my chest and says ‘Hmmph, I don’t know where you got these small breasts from, it must be from your father’s side of the family’. Eh heh, blame it on the other relatives. Lmao!

But aniwoos…
I got older and I realized that in terms of attractiveness factor, I had other things working for me i.e a decent sized tush (although that one don dey take style to decrease o…chei), hot and sezzy legs, a winning smile, a charming personality, a cute face, nice shape etc etc. Hahahahaha, I mean dudes better recognize that they can’t have it all o! Shiooooo, I mean if na the boobs or bobby (for my PH and Warri folk) wey no too full ground, then abeg the man go dey accurate and learn to work with am and seriously, no man has ever complained till date. Is he mad, abi dem no born am well?
That aside, I actually started to see the benefits of being the president of the IBTC and perks dey o...for instance:
-Like my friend and fellow blogger Tori will say, ‘bras are nothing but a fashion accessory to me’. As in, e no be by force, it is an option. I actually went out last weekend bra less. Hehehehe.
- Everything fits well and we can get away with wearing tops that might otherwise look quite scandalous on a woman wey carry serious bobby.
-When we finally get around to popping those kiddies and get to breast feeding and such, our boobs will be nice and full as opposed to fighting hard to defy gravity. *snickers*
-Back pains? What the heck is that?
-Strapless, tube tops and all the whole 9 yards? Bring it on baby!

Need I say more? The perks and benefits dey oooo. So needless to say, I have totally shed the IBT complex and even embrace the boobage or lack of it.

So once again, all my IBTC ladies…now put your hands up! And my ladies with big bobby, put your hands up too…one love mai pipu.

LOL.

On match making + I’m not anti-Igbo men

2009-10-20T11:01:00.004-04:00

I was just reading SoulBoutique’s blog, where she spoke on how she has a nice male friend whom she would love to hook up with a nice young lady but she can’t think of anyone outside of her circle of already taken close friends.
This is the complete opposite for moi. I know a bunch of beautiful, GOOD, accomplished women whom I would love to hook up with nice young men…the only problem is that I do not know any nice young men who aren’t already taken. Truth be told, I don’t have a bunch of male friends who I’m extra buddy buddy with. The 1 or 2 that I’m really tight with are taken and everyone else is on a ‘give a hug and chitchat with at social events’ basis, I can’t vouch for those ones ‘cos I know absolutely nada about their personalities.
Seriously though, the general consensus amongst the ladies is that finding a good and correct man is not a beans in this day and age. And so I think that the process of matching making people would kinda sorta speed things up. You can create an awareness of someone whom guy X might ordinarily see and say ‘nahhh, not my type’ or girl A would see and say ‘nahhh, he’s too short’. I mean, check am now…when you go to guy X who might normally prefer a ‘thick, fine chick whose body set well well’ and you say ‘Oh boy, I don find ya future wifey o’ and proceed to list all the wonderful things about her, his interest will probably be perked. Then of course, he will say ‘Oya log onto FB make I see pic’ which he might see and still not be completely sold, but with your conniving salesgirl ways you fit pass her digits on and tell him ‘it won’t hurt to try and worst case scenario, y’all will just be cool friends’…guy takes the digits, gives girl a holla that eve and it could either be:

a. A 5 hour phone convo into the wee hours of the morning that will leave them both yawning at work the next day but still looking forward to round 2
b. A briefer version of the convo but with interest still sparked
c. Nyeeehhh but thanks Mgbeks for your efforts.

Life aint a fairy tale but it still won’t hurt to try. *Sigh*…unfortunately, I can’t even test my excellent sales skills since I no sabi dudes. But ladies and gents, think about it sha. Take a mental inventory of your correct and available friends and think about who you can hook ‘em up with. Love makes the world go around and who knows, you just might be featured on someone’s wedding website as the commander in chief who made the union possible. :-D

Back to SoulBoutique sha…
Apparently, the man who she wants to hook up lives in MD and so I asked the next important Q: Is he Urhobo?
Lately I have declared this sudden love for Urhobo men. I know a couple of them, all very nice gentlemen...correct men + they can all COOK. Ah ah, their mamas raised them well o. I no sabi the kain Jazz but Urhobo men have officially bumped Yoruba men out of the running for my numero uno draft pick. Tunde's and Jide's...y'all better come back and work at reclaiming your spot. :-D
And the rest of you may now redirect all your Urhobo friends, brothers and cousins to this blog *waves and blows kisses*…thank you very much. Hahahahaha.
But no be just specifically Urhobo o, in general I just like Edo and Delta men. It's just a strange thing, I hear that the man is from those parts and he automatically scores some mental cool points. And recently, after hearing all the rave reviews about Calabar men, I have decided that I would like to *ahem* sample those goodies as well. Hahahaha, I crack myself up. :-D

On a more serious note sha, I’m very equal opportunity. In fact, so equal opportunity that some people seem to think that I have no love for the Igbo brothers and I wonder why ooo. Maybe it's because all my #1 draft pick tribe preferences have never been Igbo, 'cos other than that I no sabi what else I might have done/said to give off that impression. To my knowledge, I have never specifically said ‘If his name is Ikenna, then NEXT’.
I mean, I will admit that I have some of my issues and notions about the ways of Igbo men and…In fact let’s just scratch that, I was gonna say more but I don’t want to open up a can of worms and have people start to vex and call me a ‘self hating’ Igbo woman who can’t appreciate her own people so make we just leave tori for tortoise. But on the real, I am not anti- Igbo men…that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. :- )

See? 2 updates in less than X days…tomorrow now Nicey m will accuse me of abandoning her.

Edit:- Bia o, Controversy...why you kon restrict ya blog nau?

Random tidbits relating to me, myself and I.

2009-10-16T14:48:00.005-04:00

On that topic of hair, I am taking another stab at attempting to grow my hair *crosses fingers*. I want big puffy hair that will make Deji D smile, LMAO. Recently decided to put some color in it again, this time I went for a more subtle look. I really don’t do much of subtle and this summer, the color was definitely quite eye catching or ‘bold’ as someone said and I did enjoy the attention (good and bad) but change is good. Change is always good.

Speaking of attention, I’ll be the first to confess that I enjoy attention. I am after all, a LEO (Shoutouts to my Leos). The type of attention that I like is quite contradictory sha. I don’t like the spotlight type of attention i.e doing a fashion show or anything that has to do with hopping on stage with all eyes on me, but at the same time if I walk into a room, I want everyone to know that ‘she has arrived’ which in turn could lead to all eyes being on moi. LMAO, does this make sense? Don’t get me wrong, I am far from the little chicken that you will see running up and down the place in the quest to be noticed, I don’t even need to do that ‘cos when I catwalk inside, you have no choice but to notice me. Bwahahahhaha, let me stop…

You may be surprised to know that I used to lack major self confidence at some point in my life. I tell people and they never believe me. That’s a story for another day sha…Other things that they don’t believe about me:
-I’m really not the socialite that they think I am.
-I can actually be quite shy when it comes to interacting with men that I really like. They don’t believe this because I can be very flirtatious in general but the way it works is I will flirt to death with a man whom I have no interest in, and act extra shy and reserved with the ones that I scope. I-S-S-U-E-S.

I enjoy having a bit of height…5’7 but I wish I was like 5’9. My heels make up for it sha… I can’t even try to imagine life from the 5’5 and under angle but hey, on the flip side…apparently men seem to like them some petite women. LOL

I was saying on RepressedOne’s blog that I envy people with talent. Most of my friends have some kind of talent, and the numero uno one who makes me jealous can: dance and actually teaches it, cook (she needs to start a catering business too), organize events, do hair, is the owner and CEO of the fabulous One3snapshot (Shameless plug: http://www.one3snapshot.com/) etc etc. I’m turning a brilliant shade of green as I type this. Why, why, why…dash me one na. Love you Naks! :-D
But seriously, people sabi do steez o. Well my talent is that I know people with talent. Hehehehehehe.

My passion? This one na another one. I have no bleeding idea what my passion is. Okay okay I do, I would shop and write for a living but I’m too lazy to be consistent with the latter so let’s stick to the former shall we? I would shop for a living. Can I be someone’s personal shopper? Pretty pwease.

I've always been a huge style watcher. I read mad style blogs, I enjoy seeing street style in magazines. I always wonder what it is about people that shapes their style in general. i.e Why are some people more conservative and some more daring? Does it have to do with their personalities? I be hella curious about this one sha. As for me, I think I will say that my style is constantly evolving and changing. Back in the day, I used to be very ‘matchy matchy’ as in shoe and bag must match. And then I suddenly started to sway towards the ‘hell no to matchy matchy’. At one point I was very into the ‘punk rock’ look as in bright red lip color, fishnet ankle stockings and mini-skirts, etc etc. In college days, I was always the ‘t-shirt, skinny jeans and heels’ to the club and in the words of one observer ‘you’re one of the people I know who can wear t-shirt and jeans to the club and make it look hot’. I’ve ranged from safe to not so safe, my style…like my hair color is a constant change. These days, I just buy whatever catches my fancy but apparently it doesn’t catch a lot of other people’s fancy even though they always issue the 'but you totally pull it off' disclaimer. My roomie constantly chuckles and says ‘it’s your thing’ when I show her some of my latest finds, my dear friend calls some of my dresses ‘Mary amaka’ and claims that if she ever sees anything in a store that she knows she would definitely not wear due to its off the wall nature, she would buy it for me and one other friend always claims that I’m on a whole ‘nother P with some of my outfits. LOL…it’s quite hilarious, I don’t even think that what I wear is that random but hey! I just do me o jare.

In my quest to enjoy my life and try to engage in things other than work and the random weekend social stuff, I am participating in the annual Walk for Autism in DC, Oct 31st. I’ve always wanted to do one of these walks/marathons (after being inspired by my God-sis) but I was too lazy but now I actually got off my lazy butt. Next up, me and my friend wanna do a 5k *breaks out in a sweat*.
I enjoy seeing people who just get up and do it as opposed to saying ‘I would like to do this’ (story of my life). My roomie is taking a jewelry class for the heck of it. She makes jewelry…sorry, no shameless plug here as she doesn’t have a site up but her earrings are bangin’ yo. I stay getting compliments everytime I wear them. My inspiring God-sis recently ran the Chicago marathon and my homie just did the MS bike ride in Nu yawk. People who pursue stuff that interest them definitely inspire me 'cos despite their busy schedules, they actually hop off their butts and make out time for these other things. Roomie actually showed me the catalogue for the school where she is taking her jewelry class and some of what they are offering looks quite interesante, no definites yet sha o. It's nice to see and take note of, but make we start sofri sofri...as it is, I feel like my schedule is somewhat overwhelming but hey, something will eventually give abi? :-)

Did I mention that mi madre is coming into town this weekend? I am certainly looking forward to stocking up on some dry fish and okporoko. You know how they say that you only appreciate certain things as you get older? I remember when she used to bring that stuff for me years ago and I was like 'big deal', now that I am older and wiser, I appreciate the heck out of it and the effort that she puts into carefully wrapping these goodies up as they make their journey across the Atlantic. Every time I go to the African store and see the prices charged for these goods, I always offer a silent prayer up that I have a constant supply of it from Naija. I sabi open African store sef with the amount of maggi that I currently own. Recession dey o! Thank you mama...*muah muah*

And on a final note, what y'all getting into this weekend? I am having dinner tonight with peeps, and attending a baby shower with fam + 2 birthday events tomorrow (so much for trying to convince anyone that I am not a socialite). In between all of that, I will attempt to sneak in some episodes of Oz and cook for mi madre.
Let me sign off. I hope that you'se lot have a fantabulous weekend. For my East Coast people, this weather is not the business. DC/MD, how y'all like the rainy weather?
TX folk, any of you have any fine brothers/cousins? I'm officially sick of this weather and looking to move to some warmer parts...all I need is the man who will ship me + my entire walk-in closet out to his city. Hahahahaha.

Peace & Love.

Random thoughts about Hair...

2009-10-11T01:31:00.004-04:00

In the light of Chris Rock's 'Good Hair' documentary (which I intend to see), and all the one million hair stories popping up here and there, I was inspired to give my own take on things.

On Nigerian women and weaves
My African American roomie and I were having one of our many random discussions, and this time it was about hair. She told me how she's observed that a bunch of Nigerian women seem to wear weaves and pointed how she had never seen some of my friends' real hair. It wasn't a mean spirited comment or anything, more like an observation. PS:- She has the right to talk, in my quest to 'Nigerianize' her, I've dragged her to a bunch of events that involved Nigerians and so I guess she was on her people watching game.
Aniwoos, after she said that...I did make it a point to kinda be on the look out (through observations at events/Facebook albums of events) to see if I could see what she was talking about and I do have to admit that yes, it seems that a whole bunch of Nigerian/African woman in general tend to wear more weaves than their own hair. Interesting observation...

On Natural Hair vs. Permed hair and Weaves
It seems that lately, the topic of natural hair vs. Permed hair and weaves has been coming up. I was actually surprised to discover that apparently a whole bunch of men claim to dislike weaves. It sure did come as breaking news to me sha o, since all the women that these men chase seem to rock their cascading curls of weaves very well and with no shame. Sometimes I think that these men love to contradict themselves...the same men who go on and on about women and fake hair are the same men who will drool over the Beyonce type of females. Get it together guys...(but that's beside the point, lol).
Some men even went as far as to criticize women who perm their hair accusing them of subscribing to the 'white man's standard of beauty' and what have you. I can't even pin it all on the men sha o, even as I know that some of my fellow natural haired sisters are on that Afrocentric tip and do look down on women who subscribe to this so-called standard of beauty.
As for me, I spontaneously made the decision to do the 'big chop' and wear my hair natural in 2002 abi 2003 after I was inspired by two of my natural haired friends, and I haven't looked back since. To be honest, my decision to go natural wasn't based off some black power/Afrocentric tip, it was more about trying something new and somewhat different.
Whenever I hear men criticize women who wear weaves, I am always quick to inform that them contrary to what they think, weaves might actually be easier to maintain than natural hair...they keyword here being 'might'. I mean (and correct me if I'm wrong), with the weaves, you pretty much run a brush through it and maybe a curling iron if you're in the mood, and then wake up and go abi? I know that for me, who once had something like a mini afro, maintaining it was a real headache and so I decided to chop it all off. Short, nappy hair is definitely and without a doubt the most low maintenance and least expensive way to go (if you're feeling bold). I literally wake up, run a comb through it and go...with the random cuts that occur every other month.
Before Sugabelly comes and shoots me, this is not an effort to dissuade anyone who wants to go the natural hair route. I do believe that if you choose to put in the time and effort to maintaining any type of hairstyle then you can do it, and if you're just a lazy bum like me who can't be bothered most of the time, you might wanna go the short hair route. When I had long permed hair, I never did anything to it either save for wear it in a boring old pony tail every day.

On short hair
I must admit that after seeing all the noise that people made about Solange's recent hair cut and how empowered she is and blahblah, I actually rolled my eyes. Why? In my opinion, it's just hair...long or short and so I don't see the big deal in a hair cut. True talk.
Maybe I am of this opinion, because I currently wear my hair cut as low as Solange's as well but truth be told I didn't think too hard about doing that initial big chop. As in, I didn't stop to think if 'it would fit my face' or 'if it would look good on me' and what have you. I just did it and thank you Jesus, it worked for me. Today I guess you can say that I am addicted to cutting my hair. Every time I see someone with a big 'fro, I get all jealous and resolve to grow my own hair so that I can make other people jealous but the instance I walk past a Hair cuttery, just know that it's a wrap. My mentality is 'it's just hair, it will grow back someday'.
Don't get me wrong, I know that not everyone can just wake up and decide to cut off their crowning glory and be 'naked' to the world, as someone put it... and that true talk, long hair in general seems to be more feminine but should a hair cut really create so much buzz? Or did the hair cut inspire that much buzz because seeing women with short hair isn't that common?...especially among the Celebrities?
Even for me as a regular around the way gal, I always get the 'wow, you are so brave for cutting your hair' type of comments and mentally I wonder what is really so brave about that, after all shebi it's nothing but a hair style? Or maybe it's considered to be a 'brave feat' when you factor in your attractiveness factor to the opposite sex. After all, I can best my last dollar that most men might prefer a woman with long hair but ultimately shey it all boils down to how I choose to carry myself abi? Long hair or short hair, I'm still a fab chick and can't no one tell me otherwise.

Sometimes, you are your hair
I was reading an article on Jaguda.com, where the author claimed to feel naked and not so fierce without her weave. See, I have always believed that 'we are not our hair' and so whatever you choose to rock, be it permed hair, natural hair, long hair, short hair, weaves or braids, it is considered to be your form of self expression HOWEVER on the flip side, if a woman feels incomplete without those beautiful waves of hair then in my opinion, you = your hair and your hair obviously defines you. Before you shoot the messenger, the author even said it herself and I quote:

"Then I remembered India Arie’s old hit “I am not my hair”. The case is not so for us “weavaholics”. I realized that from January, till date I’ve rocked my real hair for less than 2 weeks and I hated it and felt like I was empty, while with my 2 pack of 16 inch indian hair I felt sexier and ready. I literally became Sasha fierce, sexy and all. I also went through my facebook friend list and noticed that about 98 % of my female friends had weaves or wigs or braids on their profile picture. I still haven't seen some of my aunties' real hair because all they put on are wigs or weaves. With that being said, I came to the following conclusion...weaves are addictive and they have become my addiction or should I say “our addiction”.
Source: Jaguda.com

Very interesting stuff. And on that note, let me peace out of here.

I go catch una later...

On the Nigerian Independence Day Activities...

2009-10-05T00:02:00.008-04:00

I spent 24 hours in the NJ/NYC area. Literally. Hopped on a 'red eye' bus at 6am, got there at 9am and managed to squeeze in a mini discovery of Ulta, Brunch in the city, a few naps caught here and there, a trip to the Apple store on 5th avenue (Freaking MADHOUSE), The Indy day parade and the craziness that was the after party before finally rolling into bed at 4am, and hopping on the next bus back to MD at 11am.
Sidenote:- I get energy o! I guess these bones aint that old. :-D
As we speak, I NEED to be sleeping but ask me why I am blogging and watching a Nigerian movie on OnlineNigeria.com. I do have Monday off, so best believe I will be making up for lost sleep.

Oooh guess who I met at the parade? Our one and only Nigerian Wendy Williams...Kemberly. I spied her from afar and proceeded to walk over and introduce myself. Best believe, she was very nice and warm in person, as she is on her blog and girl, my friend wanted to know the 411 on your fabulous hair. She told me that YinkusLoLo was in the building too...Yinks, I just might have walked past you o. Hehehehe...
Zena, what happened to you, you be no show? *side eye*

So, I am no stranger to the Nigerian Indy day activities that are held in NYC every year. In fact unlike the Nigerian Reunion, I believe that one can never get too old to hit up the Indy day parade. It's always fun to hang with your friends and eat some good ol' Suya while you give blank stares to all the foolywang looking individuals up in that piece, and lawdy lawd...the foolishness is always to the max. LMAO, as in no offense to my BK folk but ummm did the American Embassy specifically issue visas to all the extra razz people and assign them to Brooklyn, New York? My gawd! As in, you can just point out all those BK characters, it's quite funny. Every year, I always find some reason to crack up at someone's expense.
Abi you wan talk about the people that take the essence of rocking our country's colors to the next level? In one particular instance, a certain culprit was spotted wearing an oversized linen white suit, a white bowler looking hat, green and white chuck taylors and a green tee-shirt. It was quite heelar!
Foolishness aside, it honestly is a lot of fun to just hang with our people plus any chance to eat Suya is cool in my books. I'm saying...those Suya vendors must have made a killing charging $3/stick with that extra long ass line. I'm talking about a 30 minute wait time for 10 sticks of Suya. No be small thing...in fact next year, I dey buy table to sell my own suya, abi I fit roast plantain and corn for man pikin? Those vendors dey make moni o!

On to the freaking after parties. Yeah, as a seasoned Indy day pesin, I know enough to hit up the actual parade and stay away from the yeye after parties. Trust, I've been burned plenty times. The first time I ever went, they tried to squeeze 1 million people into a closet in Brooklyn and sho 'nuff the popos shut that ish down quicker than a speeding bullet. The 2nd year, something equally foolish happened and then I got the hang of things (add that to my other random experiences of partying in Brooklyn) and I decided to totally avoid any party that has a BK address and zipcode and stick to the Manhattan based after parties, which wasn't that much better. Still a ridiculous long line with some razz folk (not as razz as the BK parties, but still razz), over priced cover charge and some hella unnecessary hassle just to get your party on for a few hours.
So, this year I was really not fixing to go for any of the after parties...the 2 official ones were at C-PAC in BK and the Boulevard in Manhattan. (And then there were some misc wannabe after parties that I was told had like a total of 10 people in attendance...lmao). As in, I don fix mind say I go just stay in NJ and possibly hit up someone's ges togera but it turned out that someone that we knew was also having a birthday something at the Boulevard and wanted us to come through so we come pack our load and waka'd there.
Numero uno, as soon as we landed and saw that ridiculously long line, we almost walked back to the car but we con tok say okay, we don came up from Joisey, let's hang in there and chekirrout. As in, folks had been standing in line for ages just to get into the darn party. Luckily for us, we knew some people in power and so we were in real quickly, plus we didn't have to pay either... as in a big heck no to the $30 cover charge. Jay-Z dey thia? I mean, Wale the rapper was there but say who die?
As soon as I walked in, I was like 'is this what people are packing their selves outside for?'...the place take style resemble a freaking can of sardines. It was extra packed and it seemed that some people didn't get the memo about deodorant so my poor nose suffered for a bit until I safely made it over to the 'beche' side with the more correct looking people. :-p
Let me not bash too much sha, I mean it wasn't that terrible but still, if I had paid $30 to enter I for vex sha. Like, folk couldn't even dance without being bumped and abeg if I am paying $30 to party then I had better enjoy my $30's worth and get my party on.
Then again, I've realized that a lot of parties in this day and age appear to be for the 'stylers and profilers', as in those 'I didn't come to this party to dance, I came to walk up and down 10 times to see and be seen' kinda deal but that is another post for another day.
Long story short, we bounced after 1 hour and I have decided that for real, for real...that will be the LAST micki frickin' after party that I will be going for. I don't care if my BFF dey do birthday for there. I could have used the time spent going back and forth to the NYC to just jejely happily curl up and catchup on those Zzzzzs for real but it is what it is.

Oh and before I go, can I just send a quick PSA to my ladies:- PUT SOME DARN CLOTHES ON, LADIES. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR ASS AND YOUR TITTIES. Absolutely killing me with the 'I must be sexy by force' outfits that y'all be putting together. E remain small and I will see a nipple all in the name of looking hot and sexy. But you know what? I no too get the energy right now, I will bring this to y'all in a proper post. :-D

P.S- Nicey m my love. Dem born me well to abandon you for this blogger? Lai lai. I have found my blog mojo...welcome me back.
Thanks to all who checked up on me, I really do 'preciate it. I am bizackkk. Gosh, I don't wanna think about the catch up that I will have to do...eventually.

Alriight, tori don finish. Good night honeys.

I want my life back...

2009-09-19T00:10:00.008-04:00

If you know me, you will know that I am CONSTANTLY crying about my state of internal disorganization. If you check the dictionary for the word 'Procrastinator', you will see my picture beside it.
I blogged about my constant state of organized chaos a while back and I got some good suggestions on how to change things but did I implement any of them? Nope.

I know the solutions, I've been told a million times but the process of actually hopping into bed and attempting to catch 8 hours of sleep, drinking my required 8 glasses of H2O and eating healthy, nutritious meals and mastering the art of effective time management is much harder than you think.
I actually envy people who appear to have it together and everyday I wish that I was more organized.

Well, that has to change sooner than later.

I mean...I had to take a step back and analyze the situation well well and ask myself a couple of questions.

-Why do I get these frequent headaches? Duhhh, 'cos I only get about 6 hours of sleep max + bad nutrition.
-Why did I go back to square one after all my hard work from gyming earlier on this year paid off? Because I haven't bought groceries in Lord knows how long and when a girl can't even gather enough time to cook some nice home cooked meals, and the typical breakfasts, lunches and dinners consist of take out, fast foods and a whole bunch of processed unhealthy ish...how won't it start to reflect on my body and my skin? Not to mention my wallet...
-Why do I need a SKINTERVENTION asap? Once again, duhhhh. The poor nutrition + lack of enough sleep + I can't remember the last time I drank water.
-Why can't I schedule time to get this oil change done? I mean, I could do it on a Saturday but I'm too busy catching up on all the sleep that I've been missing out on during the week days.
-Why do I feel so tired and unmotivated during the day? Back to the sleep thing. I mean, how do celebrities do it? What the heck do I be doing up at 2am in the morning sef? It's not as if I'm even doing love talk and slow jams with a man sef. Mchewwww...
-Why do I constantly feel so stressed out? Lack of effective time management!
-Why are my relatives mad at me for not keeping in touch like I should? It all ties back to the time management thing + the constant feeling of stress. Every chance to enjoy some 'me time' is treasured and lately I've been screening a bunch of calls like whoa and then I procrastinate on calling them back...Gosh, I have 12 voicemails to check. Who procrastinates on checking their voice mail?

These are just a few of the questions that I asked myself.

What can I do to implement some kind of change?
1. I can limit my internet usage. I spend way too much of my personal time on the internet...on these chat things, constantly checking emails, reading blogs, commenting on blogs...the whole 9 yards. I could be doing other things like reading more books, watching more TV, studying for the GMAT as I've belatedly decided to go the grad school route (so that my bride price can be higher *winks*), sleeping and even getting around to checking those voice mails and returning those calls.
2. I can create a to-do list and 'tackle plan'.
3. I can modify my lifestyle i.e switch up my work hours a bit so that I go in earlier, get home earlier and have more time to my self (thankfully, we are blessed with the flex. work schedule at the J-O-B), attempt to get more sleep and generally live a better and more efficient lifestyle.

Just a few solutions which I intend to implement. Wish me luck!

And on that note, my current job assignment location limits access to all the 'fun' websites i.e Blogger, Facebook and such things so unfortunately, I'm unable to check out this site for a good chunk of that day and frankly speaking, after work/post work commitments I'm just too tired to even attempt to make rounds. Please no vex o...I still love you guys, and I will drop by whenever I can. Na me and una for this side of the internet oooo. :-D

P.S:- ProudPrick, whoever you are...dude, you are HEELARIOUS. Ha Ha Ha!

Make I sha waka ooo. Till we jam again nah!

G'nite.

The bride price formula...

2009-09-14T02:58:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I: Sat on my bed and finished a mini tub of Edy's Drumstick Icecream...all 1000+ calories of it, watched 3 movies- I love you man, Obsessed (TOTAL waste of my brain cells) & Confessions of a Shopaholic, Hit up Barnes & Noble for some material, went shopping for household goods and watched the VMAs yesternite while I stalked all the FB statuses about Kanye's foolish behavior and Lady Gaga's madness. That woman needs Jesus but I absolutely love it! Lmao
How was your weekend?

PS:- I STILL need a personal masseuse on call 24/7.
PPS:- I have found a new blog boo...David someboribobo (That is how I read his name and I kid you not), the man can bake meatpie. Need I say more? (He doesn't know that he's taken yet, but he is...all husband snatchers should instantly take note and back off)

Speaking of which...A man who knows how to cook = An asset. I gosta teach my sons how to cook o...I will insist that they come into the kitchen and watch me throw down so that when they grow up women will not be making shakara for them + for each dish that they can make, the amount of brideprice that they will pay will decrease. Abi now... :-D
Oh y'all aint know that I have my brideprice formula? Aight...let me edumacate somebody up in this piece.

Mgbeke's Official Brideprice Calculator:

The woman sabi cook (Let's add $5,000)
If she sabi cook more complex dishes that transcend beyond the typical Egusi, Jollof Rice...i.e Isi ewu aka Goat head, Ugba aka African salad, Ofe Owerri and even international dishes for some diversity (We go add an additional $5,000)
Can she bake? (Extra $5,000)
Does she have a Bachelors degree? ($5,000)
What kind of degree did she get? If it's something random like Early Childhood education (We no go add moni...abeg my ECE majors no stone me abeg :-D), Anything in the business field ($5,000...make it $10,000 for Accounting and Finance...LOL), Engineering, Computer Science and 'em techie stuvvs ($15,000)
Does she have a Masters degree? Double the amount for all the categories...if na Law school we go triple am and if na Med school, we will triple am + 1 Hummer and 1 Ferrari each for both parents. Is it a beans to go to Med school?
How exposed/well traveled is she? If her idea of taking an annual vacation is going to the Nigerian Reunion on a yearly basis...we no go add moni. If she has been to a variety of places/been exposed to a bunch of cultures...we go add an additional $3,000
For every additional language that she can speak apart from English, we go add $2,000 each...after all even in the Corporate world, it is an asset for one to be bi-lingual. PS:- For such purposes, Pidgin = A Language. Lmao!

All this moni na on top of the regular amount of brideprice wey man go pay because hin see one fine correct babe wey hin wan marry. After all, we don conclude say e no easy to pluck a flawa from one's garden...abi I lie?

Now, for my dudes...make una heart no beat too fast as una don analyze this my list. I trust say some of una don observe this list, plan on how you go waka home and break up with your long term girlfriend of 4 years as per you no wan collect cardiac arrest on top of paying bride price. Abeg o, chill first...I no send una. When dem send Shekpe on top ya head, you go tok say na Mgbeke cause am.
Calm your beating hearts down 'cos I gotchu! The bride price wey una fit pay go reduce if and only if:

Can you cook? If so, we go reduce the woman's bride price by $2,000. So in the end na $3,000 wey you fit pay. You still gosta pay moni because odds are that the woman will take up majority of the cooking in the marriage so you gosta pay moni for that sweat wey she go sweat on top the hot stove.
Can you cook the complex dishes mentioned above? If so, we go reduce the bride price by $1,000.
Do you have a Bachelor's degree? *Ahem*...we shall only reduce the B.P if you majored in the sciences/techie/some areas of business so abeg if na Psychology, the above mentioned Early Childhood education, Social work and such fields...in fact we go even add an additional $5,000 on top the Bride price wey you go pay because it is absolutely NOT manly for you to go to school and not major in Medicine, Law, Engineering, Accounting or Computer Science. LMAO. *Tongue in cheek*
Masters/Advanced degree? We go reduce am too and if you go Med school/Law school and are guaranteed a starting salary of at least $200,000/year (after residency and such things), then we go cancel out the entire bride price wey you suppose pay sef and na we wey go come pack dowry on top your head...after all as women, we are encouraged to chase down the dokitas so that we can live in a nice big house with a white fence, send our kids to private schools only and drive the 2020 Mercedez Benz wey you go park for garage. *Winks*
Are you well traveled and bi-lingual? We go negotiate with the village heads and come to a decision on how much we wan reduce the bride price we you go pay.

Hehehehe, so you see my dudes. I got covered y'all too didn't I?
So *ahem*...it's not too late guys...go and learn how to cook. And if you are in any kind of Major where every Christmas, you visit Nigeria and someone asks you 'Chinedu what are you studying' and you have to engage in a 10 minute conversation in an attempt to explain what the heck you are studying then I suggest that you drop out of school and re-enroll with a career path in Medicine...(it might cost you $1M in student loans, but you will save a substantial amount of money on the bride price..LMAO), plus...when you go to Nigeria and they ask you 'Chinedu, what are you studying?'...you can proudly puff out your chest and simply answer 'Medicine' while you watch for the appreciative glint that will suddenly appear in the asker's eyes.

Thank me later.

The end.

I am not a Man-Hater

2009-09-09T17:15:00.003-04:00

You know, when people started accusing me of being a male hater/male basher, I used to brush it off and say 'yeah right, me ke?'. But lately, I’ve been getting that a lot… ‘I read some of your FB comments on certain topics, you are such a man hater’, ‘Why do you bash men so much?’, ‘You come off as such a feminist nazi’…Man hater. Male Basher. Feminist nka nka…na wa o!Last weekend, there was the typical men are from mars/women are from venus discussion and my friend actually came to grab me, talkin’ about… ‘Are you guys looking for a man hater to state her opinion? Here she is...’ or something like that. I mean like, shuooooo. LOL, I know not what they speak of ‘cos I am INNOCENT.
Hehehehehe…I mean, a girl can’t even be out spoken about things and fly under the radar no more. Truth is…and I continue to issue this disclaimer:- I am NOT a man hater. The sight of men does not make my blood boil, I haven’t gone upside someone’s son’s head with a frying pan yet neither have I poured hot water on some poor man’s genitals so what are they talking about? I really and truly do not consider myself to be a man hater.

I mean…someone once asked me if a man had ever done me dirty in my lifetime and I replied and said ‘sorry to disappoint but I have no sob stories to share…’. Does a man have to do me dirty for me to call a man out when he’s being a pure and darn fool? *rolls eyes*
Granted, I admit that sometimes my approach can be a tad bit aggressive but that’s what you get when you are TRIFLING man parading around the face of this earth. I have no patience for y’all and I will continue to call you guys out on your foolishness. Just because I refuse to sit back and turn a blind eye to the madness don’t make me a man hater na. *Re-adjusts halo*
I remember when Steve McNair got kilt by his jumpoff and I texted one of my male friends expressing how I felt absolutely no ounce of sorrow for the man, and how I hoped that all married men would learn from such an unfortunate incident and hopefully keep their roving eyes and penises to themselves, and I tell you… ol’ boy caught a case o. Accused me of being a man hater, couldn’t believe how insensitive I was blahblahblahblah. Pssh…men, don’t get mad when I call y’all out and state the obvious. I’m not going to retire from my outspoken ‘male bashing’ ways sha o so everyone who thinks I’m a man hater should keep on thinking. :-D
Like one of my desk calendar quotes says… ‘When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch’. It is what it is...

And yes, it goes beyond trifling men…
There have been WAY too many of those men are from Mars/Women are from Venus types of discussions and I think I’ve just about heard all it is that men have to say and as always, I issue my counter argument/opinion. The various ‘dating do’s and don’ts’ and the knowledge that these species really think that they are dropping on a daily basis:

'Don’t buy a luxury car or a house, it will intimidate men'
'If you’ve been with more than 10 men, you’re a ho and no man will wanna marry you'
‘Men don’t like a woman who parties too much, you won’t be considered as wifey material’
'Go and learn how to cook. Men like a woman who can cook'

etc etc. P.S:- If I hear that ‘wifey material’ word one more time, I will scream.

Uh uh, it’s a man’s world…or so they say but I’m one woman who will continue to state her opinion in this man’s world. And let me state this opinion real quick...
PSA to my men: The existence and sole purpose of women on earth is not to be married off to you, get knocked up with your 5 children and cook all your meals. We too have lives to live, places to go and things to do. We will not put our lives on hold and turn into boring stagnant stepford mickfricks all in the name of being considered 'wifey material'...imma need y'all to get with the program and save the darn rules and regulations for your sister or something.
The absolutely heelarious thing is that these culprits end up marrying women who are the complete opposite of who they swore made up the ideal wifey...the man who swore on the head of his bear bear that he would not wife a 'double digit ho' will marry a 100 count prostitute and in the end, who will the joke be on?

Seriously, it really does get my goat how these dudes think that we ladies are sitting around waiting desperately to be scooped up. A woman can’t even have standards no more without y’all coming at us with the ‘You are 30, your mates are married…be there feeling picky’. Excuse you? Who sent out the memo that 30 was the cut off age? And who told your 5’6, broke, living with your momma at age 30 azz that any 30 year old fabulous woman would EVER give you the time of the day in this world or the next even if you were the last man on planet Earth? There is more to us than our vajayjays, our cooking skills, our so called submissive attitude and everything that you consider to be qualities desired in the so called wifey material. It is absofrigginlutely ridiculous!

How do I hear a man spew a senseless comment like ‘Men will cheat, it’s a man’s world…you women need us anyway’ and sit back and let the foolishness slide? When I tell the man that don’t nobody need his foolish self for shishi and I can do bad all by myself, he calls me a man hater. Hellooo, how do I even get with a fool like that? Abeg o...make all man know their levels.

Ok Ok, I just realized that I’m totally NOT doing a great job trying to convince anyone that I’m really not a man hater am I? LMAO. I mean what I’m really trying to say is…Argh! I give up…lol. But…like I said, I, the Original Mgbeke do not hate men. In fact, every man on earth should appreciate my outspoken ways sef. Trust that I will never fail to keep you my darlings in check. :-D

*Blows kisses to any man who happens to read this*. LMAO.

Haphazard Post-Labor Day Post...

2009-09-07T22:15:00.002-04:00

...as I nurse a lack of sufficient sleep induced headache.

Hallo Blogworld. How was your Labor day holiday weekend (for my Yankee based folk?). I hope that it was filled with enough grilled burgers, sodas and all that good stuff.
I spent mine in the good ol' NJ/NYC. About time I returned since it was beginning to be quite sad how a self proclaimed NYC groupie like me hadn't visited in almost 1 year. 1 year ke? I mean, NY just dey for my backyard naaa.
But ahhh how I heart the city of New York. I kid you not, every time I visit, I start cheesing and I immediately feel like I'm at HOME. What is there to not love about NY? I mean...eventually you even gotta love the ridiculous crazies on the Subway and those infamous NY subway rats. I always say that your NYC experience aint complete until you encounter a subway rat. Forget what you saw in the Sex & The City movie. Hmmm, now to find the NYC based man who I can trick into marrying me and moving me out there since the job front doesn't seem to be working on the relocation tip. Hahahahaha...

On some book related yarns: Ok, I read 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' and my tearducts were absolutely dry...for those of you who swore that it would make me cry. Great book though. I am officially adding Mr. Hosseini to my list of favorite authors. Oooh and I got 'The thing around your neck' in the mail. Chimamanda is pure genius. PS:- I heard she got married 2 weeks ago in my hood. Why wasn't I alerted? I would have crashed the wedding in a very shameless manner. LOL...don't side eye me, that's my 'niggi' yo (although she doesn't know it yet). Ha Ha!

In the words of my favorite MochaHourGlass, I've been having some epiphanies and what not. Jesus take the Wheel. I just need some serious guidance and direction in my life right now, wooosahhh. Thank God for people who tirelessly hear you whine about the same topic over and over again and don't scream at you. LOL. :-)...no, really...Thank you!
Ultimately, I need to get it together and quit feeling so overwhelmed. (Which is what I kinda sorta feel right now), I think that I will be okay though. Amen to that!

My headache just moved to the right side of my brain. These headaches have been pretty frequent of late. Someone suggested that they might be migraines in the making? No idea. I need to adjust my sleep schedule. No scratch that, I need to adjust my LIFE schedule.

If someone asks me if I'm a moody individual, my instant response will be NO. In fact moody people even kinda sorta annoy me sef (when they can't keep their mood swings in check), or maybe I just don't know how to handle them. But lately I've been having a whole bunch of internalized mood swings and general hot and cold feelings towards things and people. So umm yeah, maybe on the outside I may appear to be 'constant' and on the inside it's 5 seconds into hot and a sudden switch into the 5 second chill. But maybe the whole thing about 'taking charge of your day and your emotions' appears to be working some 'cos these so called swings don't even last for up to 10 minutes before it's peace, love and happiness as usual. But still...why are they so constant? And why is everybody suddenly annoying? Now I'm rambling...

It's a Blackberry World Domination. My friend hosted a Labor day get together this weekend and I tell you, if there were 50 people at her crib, 40 of them had Blackberries. Ha Ha! 'What's your pin'...Blackberry holders, we are taking over and if you aint with the movement then you need to get with it before we rule the world. Muahahahahahahaha... *Evil grin*
PS:- Just discovered BrickBreaker and I'm an addict. Yes I am. I know, I know...I've owned my BB for almost a year and I'm just discovering Brickbreaker? Tsk Tsk.

Who in the world came up with this no white after Labor day rule? Ha Ha! I guess I'm about to break every rule in the fashion book with that one. As long as the weather is nice and warm, all white tops, bottoms and shoes in my closet. No be small thing.
Who comes up with these fashion rules sef?

Absolutely need to hop my azz into bed within the next coupla minutes. Grrrrrr, so not looking forward to resuming work tomorrow. My B-O-S-S is officially one modachoking wizard of a winsh. Bombastic individual. Na me and him for this America o, make the bobo n vex me too much 'cos I swear the kain African craze wey hin go see ehn. He finna be like 'these Angry Black Girls don did it again'. Just wait for me...recession or no recession. Ultimately hin suppose know say Khaki no be leather and if hin tok too much nonsense, we fit put leg inside one trousis. Shioooooooooo

Master plan = Effective!

I was alerted that my blog is filled with a whole bunch of rants...(I still say it aint so sha)...but even if it is so, isn't ranting on my blog better than calling my friends and constantly dropping rants to them on the phone? If I kept this up I can imagine that by week 3, someone would have sent my azz to Aro mental hospital abi I lie? I do enjoy a good ol' rant and blogsville is a good place to woosah and rant it all out. I can even rant about my winch of a wizard boss while his unsuspecting ass is in the same office as moi. :-D
I mean on the real, sometimes I be ranting about the fool to someone on the internet and he will come ask me a Q, and I answer it with my angelic demeanor intact. Ha Ha!

What do you reckon the average age on Blogger is? I've seen quite a number of bloggers on the 30+ end, and quite a number on the 18-19 end too. What say you?

And on that note, I am out.
If you could keep up with the randoms, kudos.
If you couldn't...never mind, I assume that you would have hit the nice red X by now.

I hope and pray that this week will be a better one for all of us. Say what you mean and mean what you say and ultimately remember to work hard, play hard and be kind (Coined from my Glamour Mag)

Good night and sweet dreams. See? Blogging is good for the soul...I feel better already.

PS:- Leggy, come and kneel and raise your hands. Who gave you permission to go private without my consent? Mchewwww.

An Interview with Muyiwa

2009-09-02T10:14:00.002-04:00

Apparently, Muyiwa thought that I was cool enough to interview and so he did a quick one. Thanks a lot bro, I’m quite honored.
Check out the interview here and while you’re at it peek around his blog a lil. He's definitely on the grind in the Entertainment industry plus he has a really nice playlist that I enjoy listening to while I’m working.

And yes, this qualifies as a real update. Hehehehe….

A little stroll down memory lane...

2009-08-27T12:22:00.003-04:00

Raise your hands if you were guilty of any of the above. :-D

-I remember growing up and my parents were on the strict side. Who born the maga wey wan collect boyfie at 15, 16? So when guys wanted to call me, I would tell them to call my house and ask for my brother, just in case my parents picked up the phone…so that if such a thing occurred, my bros would use style and pass the phone to me when they weren’t looking. Chei, one day my mama caught me sha o. Hahahahhaha…now it’s heelarious how she calls me now asking who the dudes in my life are. LMAO

-I remember when we used terms like ‘Omo that guy dey razzle me’, or that guy dey ‘chyke’ me. ‘Toasting’ still reigns though. Who dey toast una now oooo?

-I remember when guys used to put effort into ‘toasting’ babes. As in, dem go make arrangements to scoop you up, carry you to Mr. Biggs while you blushed over your meatpie and fanta and he would drop lyrics laik say nah hin be the reigning emcee on the block.

-I remember when the toasting stage would lead to the ‘asking out’ stage and as a bigz babez, you had to form o. There was no way a guy would ask you to be his girl and you would instantly reply with a ‘yes’. We always said…’let me think about it’, even though you know say you go marry am if hin propose sef. Of course you would use like 1-2 days to think about it while the bobo’s heart would be beating rapidly. Chai! In this day and age, do guys still ask women to be their girl sef? Hahahahahaha.

-And speaking of being toasted, I remember the goody bags that toasters would bring. I remember when I used to go to lesson and this toaster of mine brought a goody bag filled with cookies a.k.a biscuit, candy a.k.a sweets and chocolate, five alive etc etc and all my friends gathered around me oooh-ing and aah-ing and of course some people wanted to just join and chop the food. When I come tell the bobo say I no want, his friends called me oh talkin’ bout…’after all the money that he spent on you. He spent N700 to buy you those goodies’. LMAO…then N700 was a big deal sha o.

-I remember all those baffs that used to reign. Pedal pushers, elbow tops, hipsters, spaghetti strap…you name it! Kai, e get some babes wey dey operate on some strictly DIE HARD movement, as in dem go carry long sleeved top to the tailor make hin adjust am to instantly produce an elbow top. Voila! Or they would cut leggings into pedal pushers. Hahahaha…it’s quite funny how we were all so into the latest trends then and these days some people couldn’t care less.

-I remember when guys used to actually write love letters and some of those extra ones who would be singing on the phone. LMAO.

-I remember when we would go to parties and after a while they would turn off the light talking about ‘it’s time to dance blues’, and all we prudish babes would quickly go and find our seat, after all good girls like us did not dance blues with no guy. And for the girls that remained standing, we would gist about them the next day talking about… ‘That Nneka is a bad girl o! She was dancing serious blues with Tommy at that party…’. HahahahahaBut on the real, speaking of dancing…we used to maintain a safe distance will dancing, none of that backing up like they are sexing on the dancefloor type of steez that one sees nowadays…and for man’s hands to even reach my hips, was such a huge thing. LOL, I really used to be a goody goody sha.

-I remember when babes used to borrow baffs and it wasn’t nothing. Your girl would call you and say ‘Men, e get this party on Saturday…can I borrow that your blue spaghetti stap top?’ and you’d say…’no problem, I’ll be home by 5pm so come and collect it’. Good ol’ days.

-I remember when not everyone had a cell phone and certainly not a home phone so sometimes the best way to contact some people was to call their neighbors house and the neighbor kwa would go and find them…but ultimately, the lack of phones strengthened our friendships as we were forced to go and visit each other.

-I remember ‘chancing’ at Naija parties. You would be dancing with a guy and another guy would come and chance the guy that you were dancing with. Ha Ha! Try that in Yankee and see if someone don’t kerk out on your a-z-z. Oh, and guys used to actually dance with guys and it wasn’t nothing…now all this homophobic kini don reared it’s head.

-I remember as bigz babez we did not want to be caught dead on an Okada but you had to get to where you were going so we would hop on it and take style to hide our face… unless you were like the konk ajebo that had a car and driver at your disposal 24/7. But don’t knock Okada o, na on top Okada wey some babes dey meet their man. I mean…imagine you on top the Okada with your cascading waves of weave flying in the wind, na so some bobos go just tell their driver… ‘follow that bike’ and that is how this girl I know met her husband. True talk. :-D

-I remember those summer lessons. PH in the house? E get one reigning lesson wey dey for 2nd artillery abi na Rumuodara, one of them sha o. Me my work at that lesson was to wear my latest baffs and look cute. I used to skip classes like a good # of the time sotay one of the teachers actually came to visit my mom and report me. I just denied am sharp sharp! LOLThat lesson was totally hitting sha o. Na there wey babes dey find summer boo and what not. Ahhh memories.

-I remember going to buy soda a.k.a mineral and you would have to carry a bottle to give the mallam or return his own bottle. Or when guests would come and you would make a quick run to buy them one bottle of mineral. My mom gave up on buying crates of mineral because it would be gone within 2 days. And stuff like Five Alive and Just Juice? That was a complete luxury. Hahahaha…America good sha ooo.

Man so many memories sha and there is more where that came from. I know without a doubt that I had one of the best childhoods evAr and I continue to look back on those days with fond memories.
What do YOU remember about the good ol’ days?

*Edit:- I just had to call all you guys out...you know the ones that used to approach babes at parties and say 'excuse me dance'. Yes ooo, I remember y'all. Olu, Webround, Bagucci...make una come confess oooo.
Funny story, e dey this Aba bobo wey don watch too much Gangsta movies, na hin he con see one babe wey just return from Yanks at one party and so going off his gangsta lessons hin con approach the babe and said...'let's dance Bitch' in a very igbotic accent. *Dead*

In my rant of the day...

2009-08-23T22:28:00.008-04:00

Contrary to the whole concept of being a tried and true 'Mgbeke', my speaking/understanding of the Igbo language truly does suck.
I grew up in Port Harcourt (obviously a non-Igbo speaking town), and within our household, my parents spoke English to us kiddies. Going off to a feddy school in the East, I had high hopes of picking up some Igbo but *ahem*, my school was filled with a whole bunch of Ajebo women from Lagos and such places, and it wasn't much Igbo speaking that was going on around those parts. It is what it is...

So it really does kill me when people make asinine statements such as 'How can you be proud of the fact that you can't speak your language' or 'Your parents didn't raise your right' or 'Wow, it's such a shame that you can't speak your language'. I mean, WHO BORN THE MAGA? Seriously, you don't even want to go there with me when it comes to whose parents raised them right 'cos If I decide to light into you and your entire household, na fight wey go start o.

To be honest, I'm not proud of the fact that I can't speak/understand much Igbo...and at the same time, I am not ashamed of it. It's a neutral feeling on my part but I would love to learn and currently have a (slacker) tutor. Ha, bless his heart... so it really elicts a WTF comment and absolutely gets my blood boiling when people just come at me with such blanket statements. Okay, so you think because your Igbo is top notch and mine isn't that you are more Igbo than I am? Motherchoker please!

E get this bobo on FaceBook wey recently updated his status talking about...'You call yourself Igbo, yet you can't speak your language. You are ignorant' and me being the defender of all non-Igbo speaking Igbo people that I am, made the mistake of trying to get him to see things from another perspective. *Ahem*...let's just say that it was a total waste of energy and at the end of it all, I really had to practice the whole taking a deep breath and woooosah-ing 'cos if my temper had gotten the best of me, Mark Zuckerberg for ban me from that Facebook. LMAO...

I mean seriously, such people get on my everloving last nerve.

Ahhh but I haven't always won the Mgbeke vs. Her temper battle. Once upon a time, there was a nice young man that I used to 'chit chat' with. One day, I met his sister and from the moment she met me and started blasting Igbo, I gave her the heads up...'I'm sorry, my Igbo isn't as top notch as yours'. Now you'd think that she would have digested the info and at least waited for me to leave before she started talking smack but no o! She kept on going on and on and on about it until I had absolutely had it UP to here and so I lit into her and let her have it. Long story short, at the end of it all...the man X'ed me from his 'chit chat' list and I earned some kind of reputation as 'that crazy bitch' among some of ze family members who had witnessed me finishing the dear lil sister. Mchewwwwww... I mean, this is how World war dey start o. Anyway, no long thing.

So yeah, when I meet a lot of Igbo folk and the topic of speaking Igbo and what not comes up, my guard is automatically up and I'm on defense mode. Get off your high horses my people, 'cos you can speak A and I can't speak it don't make you better than me, neither does it make you more Igbo than me and if you absolutely do not want to piss me off and make me say something that you don't want to hear, then cease and desist from making your mickifrickin' blanket statements. Bunch of Nincompoops!

It's all good sha, I still circle bi-lingual on forms...after all pidgin is a whole 'nother language on it's own and I'm pretty fluent at that one. :-D

Yes, you can be single and satisfied.

2009-08-20T16:17:00.000-04:00

I know, I know…it seems that everyone has been on this topic of being single, can you be single and satisfied, can you be single and happy etc etc. Vera had a talk show on it last Saturday, Tigeress blogged about it, Uchenna blogged about it, Reverence blogged about it.And for me, it’s not just a topic that I’ve been stumbling across on blogsville. A bunch of people around me have also been discussing the dynamics of the single life and what you have it. In fact, I actually went to the RCCG Young Adults & Singles Convention which was held in Baltimore last weekend and the lovely Michelle McKinney Hammond had a 2 hour session which was focused on the topic of being ‘single and satisfied’.

Side note:- I used to have this huge complex about conventions, fellowships and any event which had the word ‘single’ attached to it. I felt like to the outside eye, it would appear that we the attendees were desperate individuals going and hoping to make a love connection with other singles when it really wasn’t the case (well for me sha). However, someone pointed out to me that for such events, singles actually applies to anyone who isn’t married so relationship or not, you are single. T or F?I was also pleased to note that during this convention, a bunch of the speakers reiterated that the essence of it all wasn’t for people to come and look for husband/wife but for the singles to empower and continue to work on themselves. [/End side note]

So, as I was saying…Michelle McKinney Hammond spoke on why we should be single and satisfied. Ha! I know that is like Greek to some of us. ‘Single and satisfied ke? How is that even possible?’…I hear some of y’all asking yourselves.Ms. McKinney Hammond is 52 years old, very much single (never married and not dating anyone) and seems to be very content. She is a well known speaker and author...(check out her books at your local library or Amazon) who travels around the world giving speeches and urging us singles to focus on loving ourselves before we even start looking for someone to love us. I definitely enjoyed her speech and found myself agreeing with a whole bunch of things that she said.

As a ‘professional single’ (self proclaimed, thank you very much)…I find it very amusing yet saddening when people liken this whole business of being single to some kind of rare disease that no one wants to contract. Women remain in relationships that cause them plenty sleepless nights saying things like…‘Please o, let me stick to this man that I have as opposed to being single’.
I mean, ladies true talk…the outlook out here for single girls isn’t what it used to be and I realize that we are getting older but seriously? The man will even give her HIV and she will stick it out on the premises of… ‘I’d rather not be single’. Folk that have been in stagnant relationships that expired 10 years ago still carry on because they are scared to come back into the single gals market… ‘I don’t know where the next toaster is going to come from’, ‘If I leave this man, what if I never find another…’, ‘We have dated for 5 years, I am now 30 and my time is running out…I don’t wanna be single at 30’ etc etc. Even men sef now use the business of being single as the latest yab in town. When you talk one, they will tell you to ‘sharrap, you are not ashamed…your mates are married and you are here doing nonsense’. I no fit shout again! I won’t even go into how unmarried women seem to get no respect in Nigeria. I mean, it seems that the ultimate status symbol is having a nice big rock on your finger around those parts. No be small thing, my people.

But it’s all gravy. I can’t even knock anyone who can’t get with the concept of it being just ‘me, myself and I’ or who feels pressured by society (esp. those meddling relatives) because I used to be the kind of girl who would spend hours bemoaning the single status and wondering why all my friends were boo’ed up and I wasn’t. I would listen to my friends and their oppressive gist of vals day pampering, romantic dates and wonder when my turn was coming. I too, used to go to events in the hopes and anticipation that I would go home with at least one number and I too, used to get extra excited when any dude approached me because ‘hey! It just might be him’. Hmmm and now that I think about it, I certainly remember not kicking one foolish guy to the curb because it felt nice to have a 'someone'. Yelz o! I aint ashamed to admit it…with age comes wisdom and I didn’t become a wise woman overnight. :-)

But seriously though, like a lot of other things in my life…I slowly snapped out of that whole mentality that to be single wasn’t the business at all and I actually started enjoying ‘Me, myself and I’ and I still am enjoying it. A good number of my friends are either booed up or talking to potential dudes and I can honestly tell y’all that e no ‘consain’ me at all if them dey plural and I dey singular. As I mentioned in a previous post about happiness, I’m good yo! I’m content, I’m in a really good and happy place right now and the lack of a significant other hasn’t even crossed my mind in an effort to put a damper on my peace of mind and contentment. I dress up and go to events and my mentality on meeting dudes at these things has even turned into a one big ‘WHATEVS'…no be this area again? LOL. Make I no tok too much tori for hia but in general, I am quite amazed when people tell ME that I can not be single and happy or single and satisfied. I mean, the heck you on about? When did you turn into me that you can now decide how I choose to feel about a situation? I mean, if YOU can not be single and satisfied then na your wahala be that o. I sure as heck aint tell you what you can and can not do so free me abeg.

On some final notes…so yeah for a whole bunch of people it is hard to adjust to the concept of just you in your singular state esp. if you are so used to the idea of a ‘someone’ around you all the time but yes we can! Ms. McKinney Hammond said that before you start looking for a someone, you need to be WHOLE…a 100% individual and not a 50% chick looking for a man to complete your other 50%. A man should not complete you, he should complement you my sisters. I encourage y’all to work on getting to the ‘single and satisfied’ phase of life where you learn to completely love, enjoy and appreciate the idea of you as a solo individual and I'm very sure that if a man comes along, he will come across a self assured woman who knows that she wants him but doesn’t need him for her happiness, a self assured woman who will not hop on the next thing smoking down the aisle even if she saw warning signs from day 1 just because she feels that her time is running out. And if the man doesn’t come (because, life is not a fairytale), at least you won’t spend an entire lifetime crying and staying depressed about it because true talk, marriage/companionship will not happen for all of us...c'est la vie!

The end.

Pictures speak a thousand words...

2009-08-15T12:54:00.013-04:00

Blink again, you're in the right place. Truth of the matter was that I was starting to miss the stark simplicity of my all white background and so I went and got it back.

...So if you've been reading my blog/paying attention, you will know that I've had this Harry Potter Fantasy in which I stroll into a Salvation Army/Goodwill store and discover that someone donated their entire collection of Harry Potter novels and yadi yadi yada.
Well, I will say that it didn't quite work out that way. As opposed to making a one time stroll into the Goodwill, it took more like 4 strolls. One one occasion I was lucky enough to snag books 4 and 5 on the same day but every thing else was on some walk in and peruse the book section and hope to get lucky.
Aniwoos like the title of ze post says...pictures speak a thousand words so please allow me update y'all picture style on my HP collection.

As of Aug 15, 2009...I, the Original Mgbeks am the proud owner of books 2-7 of the HP collection. For some reason, book 1 has been very hard to find but I aint fazed. Yes we can baby!
How you like me now???

Decided to include some bonus pics of one of the things on my 'Pride and Joy' list...bookshelf numero uno with some of my favorite books.

Ze bookshelf was originally white but one random summer day I decided to engage in some DIY style activities and painted it a lovely mustard color. I still have an unpainted one which I swore I'd paint this summer but *ahem*, it doesn't seem to be happening.
I'd say that a good 75% of the books in this mix were Goodwill finds with one of the most recent being 'A thousand splendid suns' by Khaled Hosseini. I hope it's as good as the 'Kite Runner'.

And in more book yarns:
I'm looking into building an African Author collection starting with the likes of Elechi Amadi, Chinua Achebe etc etc. As I type, I am expecting to receive my Chimamanda books in the mail any time soon. Yay to that!
My dream of owning a personal library that will make the county's public librarian go cross eyed with envy is coming ooo! LOL.

I hope y'all are having a good weekend so far...

Peace & Love.

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs

2009-08-10T11:20:00.000-04:00

I was reading YinkusLoLo's blog where she blogged about how people perceive certain jobs that we do in this country i.e Cab driver/Fast food worker etc etc and all in all, it made me think of the topic of 'Jobs'.

I've been subject to a serious background check which entailed that I list all the jobs that I've had in the past 10 years and my oh my, I actually had to sit and think about that one. You see, in my 10 years or so that I've been in this country, I've worked a total of approx 18 jobs or more sef
*Gasp*...18 jobs in 10 years shey? Blame it on the restlessness. As my aunt used to say to be back in the day...'Na only you wan collect all the jobs in this America'. As in, at the end of the Tax year, while my mates were filing taxes with just one W-2, I'd have 3 or 4. LOL
My current job is the longest that I've ever been anywhere and that's because it's a 'real' job as opposed to the random stints that I did during my college years.

My first job in this country was at KFC. Worked there for 1.5 months and I was O-U-T...after that I swore that I'd never do another fast food job. But working that job definitely taught me to be nice to people in the fast food industry...it's certainly not easy to maintain your cool when you deal with customers who talk smack to you because they see you flipping burgers or frying chicken.
Surprisingly, I remained a broomstick while I worked there despite my daily lunches of crispy chicken and biscuits.
I still very vividly remember my shock when I received my 1st paycheck...as in I was told that I would be making $6.25/hr and I had already calculated it well well o. I was like ok with this $$ that I'm expecting, I'm finna do this and that...only to receive my check and I was like NA LIE. This one na real ojoro...I went to my manager and told him that my check was short, that I worked X amount of hours...etc etc. Bwahahahhahaha, long story short, that was my introduction to American taxes. Chei!!!

I've also worked a lot of retail jobs. You name it: Victoria Secret (My lingerie collection was bangin' back in the day...I was also really good at getting people to open their Angel credit cards), Ann Taylor, The Limited, Ross dress for Less, Rugged Wearhouse...*I know there's more but I don forget*

I've worked at an ear piercing store/jewelry store where we had to make daily sales and I learned how to pierce ears. I remember my first piercing experience...I was shaking.
Come to think of it, I wasn't too terrible at getting people to buy Jewelry either. Now, I remember the name...Piercing Pagoda.

I've worked at department style stores i.e the famous AMES that went out of business (I had some real ghetto fabulous coworkers who used to constantly gist me of their sex lives...I will always remember how 2 of them came into work the next day talkin' bout they met up with some dudes who just got out of jail and had the best sex ever as per the dudes were catching up for lost time...*SMH*), CVS (where one of my managers was constantly trying to feel up on me. Apparently no one read me the sexual harrassment policy; and I flipped out on another manager and quit), IKEA...(It was a temporary gig but they had a good discount).

I've worked at a Sprint Customer service typa place. Well, I just worked there for 1 week and bounced. The hours were just ridiculous! 3pm-11pm 6 days a week.

I've done the Admin/Office jobs/College Work Study jobs too. Part time steez when I started feeling too grown and sexy for retail.

I've worked at a Clutch & Brake company where it appeared that I was the hottest thing walking. Imagine an environment filled with sweaty mechanics and ish, and the only other female was this 60 year old woman. Every friday, those men were always all too eager to come get their paychecks so they could make small talk with me. LOL

Of course, I did a couple of internships in my college major. At this point I really felt like I upgraded my life...Ha! Internships in my field definitely didn't pay bad at all for college kids. A far cry from the KFC days. :-p

*Racks brain*

I absolutely can not remember the rest of those my lil part time jobs ooo. LOL...but there you have it, I've had a 'range of experiences' on the job front.
Working all those years of retail certainly taught me the following things:

Be nice to sales associates.
Take your clothes out of the fitting room after trying them on...it is an absolute witch trying to clean up at the end of the night. I mean sometimes we'd close at 9 and I'd get home at 11 (Well, I used to catch the bus so factor in travel time sha o).
Don't friggin' try on 10 things and walk out of the store with nada. Mchewwww....lol

And of course, that kinda fueled my shopping habit with all them discounts and all. I especially loved that Rugged WearHouse stint...talk about brand names for less. I remember snagging this BabyPhat jacket for $30 (when BabyPhat was cool), Express baffs for like $10 or less...and my all time favorite Tommy bright yellow bubble jacket that my friends still make fun of. Whatevs to y'all, I was absolutely killing it. :-D

All in all, it's always fun to reminisce, look back and those good ol' days, look at where I am in life right now and thank God. e no easy at all o!

So over it!

2009-08-04T11:13:00.003-04:00

So twas my birthday yesterday and I really should be ringing in the new year on a positive note but some things have got my panties in a twist and so, as opposed to the nice, happy post that I had planned...I'm finna drop a rant post up in this piece. If you don't like rant posts, you know what to do, the lil red X is right up at the top right hand corner of your PC screen. Now let's get this ball rolling...

I am soo over GUYS who can't do ish for you just because they are not sleeping with you/toasting you. Everything that they do for you has to come with K leg. If you say...'Hey can I ride with you to X?'...where the initial plan for him was to go there anyway, wasn't like you are taking him out of his way, he will say something along the lines of 'Shey you will contribute towards my Gas' or something as equally foolish as that. Oh oh, so just because I am not the fine girl that you are toasting now means that you can't do anything for me out of the goodness of your heart? Odikwa risky sha ooo!

I am soo over GUYS with girlfriends/fiancees trying to approach me. Fool, you don lost your everloving mind, that is for sure. The heck I look like, trying to be your side piece? Shuooooo! And then when you call them out on it, they say foolish things like 'Well, until a ring is on my finger, I am not committed to anyone' and all you can really do after that is give them a blank mickifrickin' stare. *Smh*...some poor woman out there is happily showing his pictures to her friends and co-workers talkin' bout 'this is my boo' and the idiot is out there trying to run game on other women. I pray that these brand of trifling men will never be my portion abeg, I can surely do bad all by myself. Mchewwwwww...

I am sooo over trying to extend MYSELF for anyone when half the time they aint even thinking about me. This one includes friends kwa. Uh uh, you be trying to do and be there for people but when time comes, aint no one really thinking about you like that. I see how it bes sha o, and me kwa I don dey shine my eye. Nsogbu a diro.

I am sooo over my pressed a-s-s senior getting on my everloving nerves. He's lucky it's a recession because I am this close to chewing his head off. Abi hin never see Igbo craze before? Chain-smoking micki fricki like him. In fact I wonder if I can claim an allergic reaction to second hand smoke just to avoid working with him in the future. Nonsense and Crayfish!

I am sooo over mofos saying things like 'I know you'. Fool please! You don't know me, so kindly fall back with that over familiarity before I kerk out on your a-s-s. The heck? You don't even know how that comment irritates the mess out of me. 'I know you ke'. You better go and know your mother o. Shuoooooo!

I am sooo over the stupid woman in my apartment building who insists on hogging that one parking spot right in front of the building. It is obvious that she has lost her everlovind mind sha o. Abi I no sabi who send am to buy 2 Mercedez benz but let me tell you what this foolish woman likes to do. She has a black benz and a white benz so when she wants to take the black benz out, she will go and pull the white benz right behind it, hop in the black benz and pull it out and then get back out and hop in the white benz to park it in the spot. She does this unfailingly EVERY DAY. I swear, one day I will slash her tires if she continues to piss me off some more or leave her a mean note telling her exactly what I think of her pressed foolishness. Abi she never own fine car before? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. *WOOF*

I am sooo over people whining that I don't call them. Seriously, just STFU. Last time I checked, it wasn't like you were blowing up my phone either. It takes 2 to do this communication thing, dude. Ugh!

I am sooo over my Ghetto neighbours driving up into the complex and blasting music at 2a.m. in the morning. How inconsiderate is that? I am convinced that some individuals walking around on planet earth seriously lack brain cells and if these mofos continue to try me ehnnnnnnnnn, dem go hia wiiiii. In fact na that day wey I go show pesin say Khaki no be leather. Abi Barack Obama don start to dey climb on top Molue? Foolish stuvvings indeed!

*Errrrm that's all I can think of for now*

See? Ranting is good for the soul. I actually do feel better now...Wooooosaaaaaah. I am a full believer in letting it all out baby! Imagine if everyone in the world continued to internalize things, I bet we would have a whole bunch of dead folk up in this piece.
I also encourage people to drink a glass of cold water when they are mad about something. In fact let me share a funny story with y'all....
I, the O.M enjoys a good argument now and then, and luckily for most...as much dishing out that I do, I can also take it. So, I went to dinner with some friends and me and one dude in the mix got into it. I mean, you could tell the guy was seriously vexing about my own point of view regarding the issue at hand. I told him...'ehn, you are vexing shey? Continue to vex o. Infact you should drink some cold water make e take cool you down small'.
As I said this, I noticed that the waiter was passing by and I said 'excuse me, may I please get a glass of water'. My friends caught on to what I was doing and started cracking up, meanwhile the dude was still there making his heated argument.
The cold water came, and I handed it right next to him and said 'Drink and coolu temper. You go dey accurate'...and he burst out laughing, the ice was broken and all was well and happy in the world.

Moral of the story= When you dey vex, drink cold water. Unfortunately for me, there was no cold water so I picked the next best thing...blogger!

The end.

This and That...

2009-07-30T13:58:00.005-04:00

Countdown to ze baiday in 1..2..3...
Did I mention that I plan to do absolutely NADA? Everyone is like 'whachu got planned for the day' and I'm like 'errrr...nothing'. Hmm hmm, make the weekend come fest.

Currently feeling very uninspired maaaan. I have this fantasy of quitting my J-O-B and moving across the country. Make I follow the Nike slogan and 'Just do it' abi? Then again, while I can be very spontaneous, e get as this one be. I have to have a plan B before I even start any shenanigans.

Grad School. To go or not to go. I used to swear on the hair of my chinny chin, that I wouldn't go to grad school. Luckily, in my field of work...your professional license/certification is what matters, and not an advanced degree. Lately I've been kinda sorta re-thinking it. Let me just say that I'm seriously on the fence with this one. I applied and got into a program; but now I'm like 'Do I really wanna do this?'...so I'm going to defer my admission till the Spring semester while I attempt to figure out what the heck I wanna do with my life. I used to swear that even if I went to Grad school, it certainly would not be for an MBA but now that I've been seeing a couple of job descriptions with the line...'MBA preferred' and I'm like hmmmm.

Yes, I am certainly experiencing some sort of crisis. Do they have therapists for these kind of things? It's only so much whining that you can do to your friends before they start singing 'heard it all before.....'. *sigh*

I have not done a lick of work today. Bad, bad me!

Blogsville reminds me of college days. You know how you start out and you're friends with everyone. Then over the years, you drop some friends, you meet new ones and of course you have the tried and true ones who stuck with you from freshman year to senior year. Eventually people graduate and move on to other things and the college welcomes the new freshmen who are set for world domination. :-)
Well, that's blogsville for you. Started out reading folk/being read by some...as time passed, I lost interest in some, just as they lost interest in me and in the same vein, I still read some of the original people that I started out reading...just as they still read me and of course, the older bloggers seem to have 'graduated' therefore making room for the brilliant writers who are new to blogsville a.k.a 'freshmen'. Woohooo...
Speaking of 'freshmen', gotta say one of my new faves is 48 (Link included for your viewing pleasure)...I certainly enjoy reading her.

Switched up the template a teeny weeny bit. Word on the street was that some folk had to highlight the entire page in order to read. Is this better? I don't always aim to please so consider this to be some sort of Xmas bonus (in advance)...teeheehee.

I have a lot of thinking to do...
Have a good weekend y'all. Keep it safe.

PS:- Are we seriously still talking about this Gates vs. Crowley case? *smh*...I hope that after the 'beer summit' tonight, all man can finally hear word.

5 is the lucky number...

2009-07-23T08:46:00.004-04:00

5 things that I would like to do:

Take a vacation to a foreign land with me, myself and I. I’d explore the destination, meet the locals and enjoy lots of me-time.
Learn how to DJ. I’d really love to do this but I need to shadow someone first…any DJ’s wanna give a sister a lesson? I even have my DJ name already picked out. :-D
Learn how to drive a stick shift. I started this, and got too impatient so I gave up.
Move to New York City.
Be a flight attendant in my second life.

5 things that I look forward to:

Weekends.
Getting my magazine subscriptions in the mail.
Trips to the library.
Any opportunity to shop.
Any opportunity to travel.

5 things that I’d grab if my apartment caught fire:

My passport.
My blackberry.
My laptop.
My handbag; it’ll have most of my essentials.
Can my closet count as one item? LOL!

5 random things about me:

I know the numbers to my debit and credit cards offhand + my bank account # and routing # to one of my accounts. When I pay bills/place orders over the phone and online I recite from memory.
I think I must be the only person on earth who doesn’t have a TV show. If it ain't CNN or shows that are already up onDemand i.e my new love of Dexter (Also watched the entire seasons of the Wire, Capadocia), then I don’t watch. When people rave about shows like Gossip girl, ER, House etc etc …I’m like ???
If you haven’t guessed already, I’m a huge grammar Nazi. Ha Ha Ha!
Who said sleep is for the weak? Sleeping is one of my favorite things to do.
I HATE drinking water. I once went for weeks surviving on soda and juice. These days I make myself chug at least 1.5L of water on a daily basis to maintain my skin/healthy lifestyle. Ugh!

5 things that I’m wearing right now:

Black floral print dress.
Red pumps
Bath & body works exotic coconut perfume. (Very yummy)
Black wig :-D
Purple bra. (Don’t side eye me…I ran out of ideas!)

There you have it. 5 things in a nutshell...My own meme! It's copy written. :-D
I tag whoever is in the mood to do a lazy post/just for fun post.

Random:
Black in America 2 was pretty good. Like I said after watching part 1, I didn't quite know what to expect but I definitely enjoyed watching yesterday's show. Steve Perry certainly impressed me...

Untitled...

2009-07-19T23:07:00.006-04:00

On people seeing me and saying stuff like 'This babe sef, I only see you at parties/events' or 'Socialite'...
Kini big deal? I always respond with...'abeg which kain eye wey you carry to see me for this party na? No be your own eye...abi na video camera?'. The same way you see me at events, is the same way I am also seeing you at events and If you only see me at events, then that must mean that you kwa, you only be at events too. Abi you want to come to my job to see me between the hours of 9-5? Or you wanna come up to my crib to visit me? If you even have the privilege of running into me at events then thank your lucky stars and STFU. Haba!

Speaking of events sha...
I think I am all wedded out. If someone asks me 'whachy get up to in the summer of 2009?'...I'll include weddings as one of the main things that I got up to almost every weekend. Na wa o! And the thing be say, aint nothing new popping off at these weddings sef. It's like a different couple but the same ol' crowd.
Then again isn't that the story with this DMV area sef? Same ol' faces up in the social scenes; and there are always different circles but ultimately the same ol' folk.
I am about to cross out the 'bubbler' in my description and stick to catching up on episodes of Dexter on Showtime onDemand during my weekends. Psssssh...

I was talking to my fam and asked her how she found all that new stuff to do in the city that she moved to and she told me that she pretty much googled young professional events in her field/random clubs for things that she was interested in...e.g Book club etc etc and took it from there. I just might look into that, look for other things to get into.

Keeping in touch...
'This babe, no one hears from you o' or 'Na wa o, nobody knows what is going on with you'. These are some of the examples of comments that I get from 2 groups of people who I associate my 'childhood' type of memories with: My PH massive and my feddy girls. With the PH folk, it was more of a conscious decision to kinda sorta keep my distance; thanks to the fact that PH is and always was a small place so even abroad, news among us tends to travel fast + the recently discovered bishassedness amongst some of us, na im I come tok say abeg make I just dey maintain for my little corner o jare, you don't need to be in the loop about what is going on with me, just as I am really not in the loop about what is going on with you too!...I remember when one of our own was getting married and people in Jand were filling me about a wedding that was going on around my hood. Na so e be na, to your tents O Israel.
As for my feddy girls, I can't say that it was a conscious effort. I guess you can say that it just happened...Ha! You know how we all graduated from high school and all promised to keep in touch, and yes for the first couple of months everyone called everyone else but somehow life happened and we fell off on our own ends. Even now in obodo oyibo, I can't say that I talk to anyone on a constant basis save for my MD massive + my heartbeat and my Galfriend. Everyone else na 'when I see you, we yarn' or 'Imma drop the random check up on you call every 3 months' and don't side eye me...I think it's an absolute 2 way street. It's not like anyone has been falling over theirselves to see how Mgbeks is doing either so it is what it is. And In the meantime...thank God for Facebook sha o. At least I know that folk are alive...

Bloggers out and about...
I met the oh so lovely CultureCynic on Friday night. Pretty coincidental stuff since i just threatened to pull her hair, If I ever met her...just a couple of days ago and yes, I made good on my threat. :-D
She had a very burriful smile (She hardly ever smiles in her pics so I couldn't tell before), and seemed sooo very nice. (*Ahem*, we all know what a winchy she really is) not to mention she can get down on the dance floor. I peeped her grooving major to some songs o...(Uh uh girl, I had my eye on you!). Twas absolutely fantabulous to meet you my dia. Next time I see you, I'm pulling more of that hair and highjacking you for the thrifting zones.
Also ran into Ag of SoulBoutique on Sarraday night as well. Not a first timer on this end but I still dey send sharrouts. We have to discuss that bag of yours very soon o!

Bday coming up...
In less than 2 weeks, I will be a year older...(Shoutouts to all my LEOS). I've never really been a bday celebration person and I certainly never did anything major for those milestone bdays either, so ahem...nothing much will be popping off on this end for the bday either. And speaking of birthdays, am I like the only person who doesn't mind getting older? My friend says that '25' is her official age now even though her azz is not no darn 25. LOL...ah well, I am thankful for another (somewhat uneventful yet eventful) year that is almost gone.

I had some other yarniz but I don forget as per I was doing a million other things while typing this entry up + it's 12:30am so my azz had better hop into bed. On that note, good night blogsville. Enjoy the rest of your week...

Say hello to my newest crush...

2009-07-16T14:24:00.004-04:00

Who is the dark choco one? *drools*
What is his name?
Does he have a 401k plan?
Is he ready to make some babies sometime soon?
Has he been in trouble with the law, lately?
Does anyone wanna forward my digits to him? Tell him to call me on my GIZM. Nought-9-Nought, triple dozen, triple dozen, N-O-K-I-A.
Helloooo, I have containers on the ocean. I can spend my money on him, I will carry him to a restaurant so that we can feed each other some somersaulting chicken.
Abi na Chineze (pronounced the Igbotic way) restaurant wey hin wan go? I got him covered.
He don't need to bring out his wallet, I got him covered!
And if hin wan come Yankee...I fit organize green card for am sef.
He can whisper that my love dey make his heart go Yori Yori, 7 days a week; 24 hours a day and I can be his Ada Owerri, all day...every day.

*Saves picture to desktop for more drooling later on*

Ok so it has been established among my homies and I, that we will never have to fight over a man because according to them... my taste in men is questionable. Whaaaaaa?
I just showed my friend this picture of my future baby-daddy and she said that I'm weird. C'mon, don't y'all think my Bracket baby daddy is cute? I know Reverence wants a piece of him, but unknown to her, I have started prepping the hot acid that I will pour on her face if I catch her anywhere near him.
Aniwoos if una no like am, that is good sef. Less competition. :-D

Phewwwwwwwwwwww! Just had to let that out there. Now excuse me, while I make plans on how to snag this future baby daddy of mine.

Brb.

School Daze part 2: After the SSCE and JAMB

2009-07-12T23:21:00.001-04:00

After my post on the Secondary School Daze here, I decided to write about life after secondary school.

After we finished secondary school, we waited with anxious and beating hearts for our SSCE and JAMB results. (Well, the rich kids who knew that they were going to Obodo oyibo waited anxiously for their SAT and TOEFL...Ha Ha)
My school had this wicked habit of posting your SSCE scores up on a notice board beside the Principal's office for the world to see. So imagine if you were one of those evil ass senior babes. Come exam time, you better make sure you study your butt off 'cos when the results came out, we Ju babes would flock to the board and specifically look for the names of all the wicked senior babes, the bubbling senior babes and what not.
I remember one very foolish and wicked senior babe wey come pack all F's on that board. Na correct laugh wey we laugh that day. Nonsense and Ingredients...

My SSCE score was pretty good. And thankfully I didn't have to take JAMB 2,3,4,5 times. I took JAMB once and my score was good too (No expo needed either). Na God ooo.
I'm chuckling here remembering my JAMB exam and how one foolish girl next to me was doing some serious Giraffe work ehn, the thing no get part 2. I no even get strength for am, I just let her be. Do any of you guys remember that term 'Invigilator'? I saw this one FineboyAgbero's blog one day and I wan laugh die. It certainly reminded me of my JAMB days. Those invigilators used to watch us exam takers like some serious hawks sha o. To pass expo in the JAMB hall required some serious maneuvering and techniques.
The day before JAMB sef, no one was at home. Everyone went to go and look for the 'expo'...lol. Naija sef!
And man, people had such intricate ways of hiding that expo ehn. I hear say babes would go and fix micro braids before the exam and hide the expo inside their hair, inside their bra, inside their shoe. Nna ehn, people were determined to get into University by ALL MEANS. Can't say that I blame them though, taking JAMB 10 times could frustrate a human being.

While I was sitting around bored and waiting for my SSCE and JAMB results, my mother asked me to go and register for the GCE examination. Initially, I dreaded the whole concept of it + I got posted to some wack exam location so I really was not feeling it at all but looking back now, I had a really good time sha. I made a new set of friends who I termed my 'GCE clique' and one of the guys in my crew had the hookups to all the supposedly legit expo. I really was not trying to study for this exam o jare, so every morning before exams we would all meet and plan on how we would pass the expo to each other. Needless to say, I FAILED pretty woefully...and they swore to me that the darn expo was the legit stuff o. Yeyerism...

Thanks to my good SSCE and JAMB scores, I was off to University within a couple of months. and thanks to those scores, I got admitted to study the only course that made sense if you were in the 'arts' field = LAW. Uh uh believe it or not, I the Original Mgbeke was gonna be a Lawyer? Pretty funny stuff since I came to Yankee and totally took a left turn from that field. But even till today, some of my friends insist that I could have gone to law school since I tend to be overanalytical/will not let an argument go until it is resolved and blahblahblah. Na them sabi sha...
But back-tracking to that sha, good scores were essential 'cos you could get admitted to the uni of your choice but get assigned to study some random azz course like Agriculture or some chit. Abeg wetin I wan carry Agriculture do? Or Secreterial studies...errrm no offense to any individual who may have majored in these o jare. Na so I see am oo...
Hmm hmmm but law, it was. And it was a pretty interesting department too. We had to wear black and white most days (for some yeye reason), and it couldn't even be cute outfits in black and white i.e maybe a nice pair of black pants and cute white shirt. No o, they wanted us to come to lectures looking 'corporate' and like future lawyers. I really used to wish I was in the engineering or computer science department so that I could rock my jeans and t-shirts as I pleased.

All in all, Uni days were pretty interesting. I definitely had a lot of fun being one of the hot jambites. It was nice to be a fresh and new face on campus. Hehehe, I remember how we would reapply our lipgloss when it was time to walk past the Engineering buildings just because that Engineering required a sister to put a pep in her step and an extra switch to her hips 'cos man o man, I am convinced that all the fine men in my Uni were in Engineering. And they had a habit of just chilling outside the department, hanging around so every chick who walked past, was subject to a good eyeballing by ol' dudes.
I had my Uni clique...we even gave ourselves some funny name. I don forget the name sha...twas about 7 of us babes, we would always have lunch together, party together and during someone's class break, we would go and chill in someone's on campus room or boys quarters aka BQ.Ahhh, memories. I was pretty darn miserable when I had to leave and come over here, I mean I was having way too much fun!

My sister recently told me that she ran into a guy who went to Uni with me, and he walked up to her, asked about me and confessed that he used to have the biggest crush on me in Uni. Hahahaha, I was like abeg ooo, who dat is? I hope it was one of those engineering cuties that I used to eyeball. *Chuckles*...unfortunately my sister forgot his name so that one may be one unsolved mystery. Ha!

It is one thing for the man to have money...

2009-07-06T19:54:00.004-04:00

...and another thing if he actually spends the money on you. No be true wey I dey talk?
And I'm saying this because I stay hearing females gush about some paid men, talkin' about...'He has a great job making 6 figures, he drives a nice car, he is PAID'. I'm like oh that's all well and dandy but is he stingy? Is he an aka-aradite? (remember that strong glue wey we dey use for Naija?)
Trust me, when you date enough men, you will run into that man who has a nice profile...nice job, nice car, 4 bedroom house in a nice suburban neighborhood, the right education...everything about him will look good on paper until he takes you out and he tries to mask his cheapness under the guise of saying ish like 'Do you really need that? 'cos I don't want you to lose your figure' when he notices that you are perusing the dessert menu during your dinner date, all in the name of trying to get out of paying for your $6 dessert. True talk!

And while we are talking about money and men, what is it with men instantly assuming that every woman is out for their money? Like seriously negro, fall back with that foolishness. I remember one bobo wey ask me out to dinner but the bobo no sabi my hood well well so he asked me to pick a restaurant of my choice. Me, being me, I was gonna be considerate to his budget (not even knowing what it was), I mean I obviously wasn't gunning for a restaurant that served some extra expensive entrees and what have you. Na im the bobo come 'jokingly' insert...'Umm, whatever you do, please do not pick any restaurants that serve $1,000 caviar'. Joke or no joke, that statement vexed me ehnnnnn. As in, it seriously chooked me. I mean to begin with, has this man ever seen caviar in his lifetime sef? Secondly, why would he just assume that I would go for the top notch fancy joints. I found that to be very insulting and if you get to know me, you will know that I absolutely hate it when people make assumptions about my character. I will tolerate anything else but honey, please do not lump me in with those gold-digging women that you dated in this past. Needless to say, after the date...I thanked him for dinner and never called him again. Peace out homie!

Like men need to stop with that foolishness. Look at me up and down and tell me if I look like I need your money. And, I'm not even saying this on that whole 'I am a strong, black, independent woman' soapbox but c'mon dude. I have a J-O-B that pays all my bills, puts food on my table and leaves room for misc. things. I have a car that gets me from point A to B. Practically everything that I own was bought and paid for by moi, and I have never been of the mentality of expecting a man to pay my way so please don't come at me assuming that I want your money or worefa, as you dey see me so...I be correct babe and you sure as heck aint doing anything to upgrade me so abeg no dey approach me on some yeye nonsense. Ish like that just irritates the heck out of me.
I mean, a girl is innocently posing by the bar and man instantly assume that she is a thirsty woman looking for the next negro to buy her a drink.
You take her out on a dinner date and get mad when she orders an appetizer and dessert along with her entree? I just weak o! Maybe she is not a gold digger, maybe you are just a cheapskate which leads me back to my very first point in this post.

Aniwoos na the thing wey dey my mind be that and I don tok am.

Moving on, so make una tell me why my aunt is trynna marry me off. I decided to swing by her house yesterday and her friend from out of town was visiting. Mind you, my aunt don told me about this friend and how she has 5 sons who are dokitas or somn crazy and I was just like hmmm okay. Na so the woman come jam me, and since her friend was there...see the kain promo wey these 2 women were doing ehn. I almost turned red with embarrassment and I no too yellow sef. LOL.
In my very before, they were talking about me like I wasn't there. 'Her father is this'. 'Her mother is this. 'She works as a this'. 'She is a very good cook'. She is a nice girl from a good home. I was WEAK. The mother of the dokitas come dey look me up and down with approval and was like 'Ahh, won't you want me as your mother in-law?'. LMAO.
Abeg o, make dem leave tori for tortoise. Na beans?

Randoms:
1. Sarah Palin don lost her ever loving mind. Did anyone peep that 'speech' that she gave about her reasons for retiring from the Alaskan Gov. position.

2. How y'all like the new layout? Change is good...yeah?

3. My July 4th weekend was INCREDIBLY dry. Jesu Christi! I should have gone out of town sha. Mchewwwwwww.

No Long ting...

2009-07-01T13:43:00.012-04:00

...It is way too early for my oga to be annoying me. I think that if he busts one more move, I will SCREAM. Or do you think that a BARK will be more appropriate?

...Jarrai/WordMerchant left Blogsville? Where was I when this happened? Ah well, C'est la vie. Life is about changes anyway, so let's welcome the new generation of bloggers. One day, people will cry and ask 'where are they' as we are currently asking about the whereabouts of some of the older ones.

...Groupies irritate me. Will do a blog post on this one day.

...Leggy and FaB! get me confused. This could be because FaB! has some long looking legs in her profile picture, everytime I see both of them blog ids, I think of legs.

...Just discovered Bracket. I play 'Yori Yori' everyday; at least 5x a day.

...It's July already?

... Any hot plans for this 4th of July weekend? I can't believe my DMV folk don't know of any popping cook-outs around these parts. There goes my fantasies of cook-out hopping looking for awoof food and drinks. DMV folk, represent o! If all else fails, I'll make one of the weekend days a movie day. Make I go see this Transformers and Proposal wey all man dey yarn about.
Nice Anon, I had better be screaming and stuvvs, as per Transformers na on some mental rumu rumu steez.

...Speaking of rumu rumu, what? when? how? I'm confused...where did this slang originate from?

...Anyone seen the Koko Mansion contestants? Is the show gonna make it to Youtube 'cos me, I gosta watch o!

...I read 'Act like a Lady, Think like a man' by Steve Harvey. Good book overall, according to Mr. Harvey, men need 3 things: Support, Loyalty and Sex. In an effort to check if Mr. Harvey was yarning the truth, I decided to poll one of my male friends to inquire about the 3 things that he needs from a woman and replied: Food, Sex and the Remote. To which I responded...'Are you an animal?'. *smh*
I'm just saying though, all these men talking about 'feed me, f*** me and shut up' really need to head to the Zoo to chill with their kind.

...See what I said about MJ? Even his pet chimp from back in the day is getting CNN coverage.

...Speaking of CNN, I'm looking forward to the 'Black in America' coverage coming up this month. It berra be better than it was last year 'cos after watching last year's episodes, I wanted to write Soledad O'Brien and ask her what exactly she felt she was sharing that was new gist to all concerned. 'There are many black single mothers', 'Black men face more challenges than white men', 'There is a high ratio of black men in jail'....errrm, can someone say old gist?

...Still on the CNN topic, seems like MJ related interviews will be the focus on Larry King live for the next couple of days.

...And still on CNN, imagine if Larry King dies. Don't side eye me...death is inevitable. But seriously though, he has been such a constant on our TV screens for soooo many years. My TV is constantly on CNN, and so I catch most of his interviews. Duuuude, whenever that happens just know that weeknights at 9pm will not quite be the same again.

...Seriously, can I just go to an event and have a good time? I'm kinda sorta getting tired of folk telling me 'keep an eye open for potentials' and to 'shine eye'. Eeeek! Did I tell you that I was worried about that?

...C'mon now. The BET awards wasn't that terrible sha compared to the hot ghetto mess of previous years. In addition, they just had 3 days to prepare na for this tribute. Make una cut them some slack. The sound checks were suspect sha! And am I the only one who LOVED Beyonce's dress?

...If you no like me, dem tell you say I send? Folk be feeling extra special sha. I ain't worried about you, so kindly keep on catwalking and don't worry about me.

Aniwoos, make una enjoy your holiday weekend. Mine starts today. Y'all keep it safe and if you're in the Yankee area, abeg no purge on too much BBQ'ed ribs and burgers o. Ha Ha Ha!

The fast life will age you...

2009-06-25T00:24:00.005-04:00

27, and I've been there, done that.
I started out when I was 14, when those rumors were circulating.
Yup, those rumors. The ones about him and I being caught doing the nasty in the bushes.
Talk about adding salt and pepper to tori, all he did was finger me but trust people to over -exaggerate the story.
It was pretty embarrassing to have the whole world in my business but I covered it and I put my game face on.
Life went on, everyone moved on to the next gist and I carried on.
17, and I had graduated from secondary school and on my way to University.
As a new and fresh jambite, I got snatched up pretty quickly.
It was pretty exhilarating to be with one of the older guys, he was in the 300 level and pretty well known around campus.
We started having sex pretty soon, and he insisted that if I loved him, I would give him my goodies as often as he wanted it. Turns out that he wanted it like every day.
And everyday I obliged, because I loved him and truth be told, I loved the sex too.
He told me not to bother coming to his off-campus residence when I had my period so on those days, I stayed away...I hung with my girls instead.
By the time I turned 19, I was tired of it all. The sex was starting to get old and come on...my vagina had to breathe.
My boyfriend must have also gotten tired of my once precious goodies because he broke up with me eventually and moved on to another woman.
And so it was back to square 1 for me. I met more guys, got into a scandal or two...
There was that one time that Kate came to my hostel to confront me because she found out that I had been sleeping with her man on the low low.
It got pretty ugly and once again was embarrassing for me but who cared? I had already earned some kind of reputation around town anyway.
'Slut', 'Whore', 'Nympho', 'Public Toilet'...the list was endless. The women turned up their noses at me and the men just wanted to get in my pants.
By 20, I was learning that I couldn't just give my goodies away for free. I had to be making some money too like the other Ariztos girls were...
I loved sex, so why couldn't I make money off it too?
I started to meet with older men who would sleep with me and give me money. Lots of it...it paid off too because my father was a retired school teacher who didn't have much money to share amongst my 5 siblings and I, and so with the money that I acquired from my sugar daddies, I could pay the rent for me on-campus accomodations and buy myself some clothes and nice things.
My rep advanced from that of a general slut to that of an Ariztos girl.
But the fast life wasn't that kosher. By the time I was 22, I had 4 abortions. One time I had an STD scare, but all turned out to be well.
Did I learn though? Nope...I carried on doing what I did best. Don't judge me, you might have done the same if you were in my shoes.
Trips to Abuja to meet men, trips to Lagos and on one lucky occasion, a shopping trip to London. I was doing it big...I covered these trips up to my parents under the guise of going to my girlfriend's village for weddings and what not.
I even got a nice car from one of my men, which I kept parked on campus because I could not have explained this one to my parents.
Despite the glamorous appearance of it all, I was paying dearly for everything.
I gained about 50lbs...I can attribute that to the good life and sperm. No joke, sperm will do wonders to the female body.
Eventually, I got old to the men. They were looking for fresh meat and I was far from that. I still have a reputation around town...when men ask 'Do you know Amaka?' the usual response is 'Which Amaka? Is it Amaka E?' and then 'Ahhhh, leave story'.
Sadly, that is the type of reputation that I have.
I look in the mirror and internally I feel disgusted by what I see; a shadow of the innocent young girl that I used to be but to be honest, I really can't change things. This is who I am...
The money was like a drug, and I recently moved to Abuja...a town where I am unknown and resumed my Ariztos duties. After living that kind of lifestyle, it is hard to go back to my old one before all the money, ah ah...I too want to be a bigger babes.
People meet me and instantly think that I am 32. The fast life will age you...it has certainly aged me.

Happiness + Good Karma

2009-06-21T22:04:00.006-04:00

Hello blogsville. Anyone miss me? *Waits with bated breath*...Hahahaha. So many updates but I will attempt to catch up.

On to the main tori...

Happiness
On a happiness rating scale of 1-10, I'd give myself an 8. I'm just a generally happy person...and nah, I'm not one of those extra bubbly, perky people who always let you know that they are happy. Mine is more of a calmer sort of happiness but I'm still a happy gal.
Don't get it twisted, it hasn't been and is still not smooth sailing on this journey that we call life. Far from it o, but through it all I just always manage to keep my calm and not let things phase me too much. I have always adopted a 'this too shall pass' mentality and an 'I'm not going to sweat the things that I can not control' and I think that these have really helped me.

I don't need to have the top notch material things in life to maintain my happiness (although I must admit that shopping does get me on some kind of high...lol). The most basic things in life keep me happy: Loving family, wonderful friends, enough money in the bank to pay my bills and a lil extra to put food on the table, blessings from God and other people..etc etc. I'm happy because I have inner peace with myself and others; I forgive easily so I carry no emotional baggage, my level of self confidence and assurance is at a 9 (will blog about this later), and above all I am happy because I truly believe that I also have that peace that comes from trying to form a stronger and closer relationship with the G-O-D.

I bask in my happiness and in turn try to do good things to the best of my ability for other people because that also makes me happy.
Which leads me to the next point...

Good Karma
Good Karma or blessings from God...you decide, but this might also be a contributing factor to the above mentioned general state of happiness. Sometimes it's like wow, why are people so nice to me? And then I remember that I try to be nice to others to the best of my ability. Don't get it twisted...I'm no angelic being walking the face of this earth but in my own little way I do try. I guess what goes around does come around, and everytime someone does something as simple as sending me a care package filled with goodies or a bunch my favorite european chocolates, I am truly humbled by the kindness. When someone offers to give me their log in info so that I can study for my professional licensing for FREE or offers to buy me that new bestseller that I've been dying to read, I am truly humbled by the kindness. I mean, people are nice to me and I'm always like 'Who? me?' It may seem small to you, but every little act is appreciated by me.

I recently went to one of my favorite African restaurants around this end and noticed that the cashier who is normally very nice had a serious attitude that day. So instead of adopting a defensive approach, I flashed my 32 and asked 'Long day?' and she replied 'Yeah, it's hot and everyone has been giving me attitude etc etc'. So I kuku told her 'Awww, how about you sit in your car for like 10 mins and cool off, I hope the day gets better for you' and would you believe after that little convo, she told me not to worry about paying 'cos the $25 worth of food that I ordered was on the house. I attributed it to good karma and took away a little lesson from it: 'Always inquire about moody people's day, it just may lighten up their mood that someone asked in the first place + you could score some awoof stuvvs'. LOL

And on a closing note, some random little things that make me happy:

Getting my glamour subscription in the mail. Ahhh, I HEART glamour magazine.
FUN times with friends. I love to have a good time, anyday...anytime. As long as it's safe, painless and legal. LOL
The smell of fresh laundry.
Traveling and seeing new places.
Thrifting. It's like an absolute treasure hunt, I think that even the malls have lost their appeal as my love for thrifting has taken over.
Reading comments from bloggers who say things like 'I think your blog is really cool'. I'm always like 'Ahhh, lirru ol' me?' Thank you guys. :-)
Putting in hard work at the gym and getting comments like 'You look good'
Hanging with my Philly fam! With these set of girls, it's always guaranteed laughs and a good ol' time.
Bantering with folk. I love a good ol' playful exchange.

etc etc etc. The list dey long...

On that note, I'm off to bed.

The lying Devil + Nigerians trying to kill me again.

2009-06-11T08:54:00.004-04:00

O blogsville residents, repeat after me...'The devil is a liar'.
Devil I senior you. Ooooo, devil I senior you. Spiritually, mentally, financially, academically, socially and physically.

Hia, make una come and see me see trobu ooo. Devil wan try me but hin no sabi say I senior am! Mai pipu na im I get one vacation wey I wan waka go next week and I applied for my passport since May 21st o. I suppose organize this waka this coming Sunday but come Tuesday, I still never see my passport.
I come dey sweat, dey perspire. I mean, I haven't been working on getting my body bikini ready for nada, have I? Shuooo...see mess up o!

I called the Passport office and dem tok say dem mail the passport out to me since May 29th, I said haba! I never receive am oo...see me see wahala. The passport rep tok say dem go mail the passport out on Wednesday (yesterday), and I should get it by today.

But yesterday, my heart still dey do jigijigipampam. I decided to call back to see if they had sent it out again and I encountered another passport rep who started to yarn long story about setting an appointment to enter DC and have them re-issue another one. Ol' girl practically felt my claws come out over the phone as I gave her some serious attitude ehn! Is it only DC? I had to friggin' pay $200 to expedite that ish so I'll be damned if they made me do an unplanned waka into DC. The heck?

I just vex, tell the babe say make she give me tracking number so I can log onto the USPS website and peep the situation for myself. Put the tracking number into the website and saw that the passport was chilling in the post office right next to my house. In fact this passport had been chilling there since May 29...*hisses and rolls eyes*
Called the post office, the passport was there and I was out of work by 4:30 in an effort to make it to the P.O before 5pm aka closing time. Long story short, my brand new passport is right here with moi and I sayyy the devil is a liar!

So I come senior the devil for this one and I don tok say no weapon formed against me shall prosper. Amen?? Your girl is off to Costa Rica for 5 days, come next week with my passport in hand. Wooohooooo! So I'm hella looking forward to that, and I know that it will be a fun trip. :-)

On to other news, Nigerians will NOT kill me. I know you guys must have already seen the emails/ FB notes about the new Naija abbreviations. I don did a couple of posts in the pasts and some people commented with 'LWKM', it took me a while to figure out that LWKM= Laughter will not kill me. Hahahahahahahha....
As in ehn, the abbreviations no get part 2! I was seeing ish like:

MIDG - make i dey go
WGYL - we go yarn later
IGA - I gbadun am
ICS - I can't shout
DJM - Don't jealous me
WBDM - Who born d maga
UDC - U de craze
WDH - wetin dey happen
NDH - nutin dey happen
FMJ - free me jo
BBP - bad bele people
HUD - how u dey
WKP - waka pass
KKL - Kokolette
MML - mamalette
GFF- Gbono fe le fe le (e.g., she GFF)
NTT - Na true talk
IKU - It koncain u?
NDM - no dull me
LGT - let's goo there
IFSA - I for slap am
IGDO - I go die o
YB - Yess boss
NLT - No long thing
2GB - 2 gbaski (e.g., the song 2GB!)
CWJ - carry waka jorh
WBYO - wetin be your own
MKG - maka gini?
WSDP - who send dem papa
INS - i no sendINFS - i no fit shout
WWY - who wan yarn
NBST - no be small thing
NWO - na wah oooooo
NMA - no mind am
MIHW - make i hear word
NBL - no be lie
NB? - na beans?
wd - wetin dey
UNGKM - u no go kill me

Abeg o, mai kontri pipu...which kain abbreviations be these ones na? LMAO...ooops LWKMD. Hia! In fact this one no be abbreviation again, na just pure laziness. Hahahahahah. I just weak for the situation. Can you imagine what text messages will start to look like? Imagine a text conversation where NiceAnon said that she heard that I am trying to holla at Scribbles.

Mgbeke: NB? NWO...INFS (Na beans? Na wa ooo...I no fit shout!)
Nicey: NBL? UNGKM shaaa. (No be lie? You no go kill me sha)
Mgbeke: ICS. FMJ, MBDM... (I can't shout. Free me jor...Who born the maga?)
Nicey: LWKM. Anyways WGYL (Laughter will not kill me, Anyways we go yarn later)

Like shuoooooo. LOL...oops LWKM. Anyways my pipu, na the tori of the day be that. Make una continue to maintain for ya end o. Have a bubbling and shuffling weekend and if anyone wan vex you this weekend, just ask if dem sabi di day when George Bush start to climb on top okada. I mean, levels get levels. Who born the maga? In fact, I no fit shout!

Peace & Love. :-D

I googled my ex...

2009-06-09T14:41:00.004-04:00

I randomly thought about him today and decided to google him...

…and I found his wedding website. He is getting married VERY soon. To her. For a split second, I thought hmmmph! Not her of all people. She will freaking run into me one day and gloat like she won and I lost. For a split second, I sulked about it and harrumphed about it. And then the moment passed…

But then, I got to wondering…what if I hadn’t seen what I saw that warm summer day a couple of years ago? I might never have had a reason to confront him and who knows, maybe we would be the ones walking down the aisle too.
You see, I can confidently say that he fell into the ‘top 3’ in my best boyfriend category.He was caring, attentive, full of surprises, encouraging, always with a listening ear, had a nice sense of humor, definitely not hard on the eyes at all, sexy, very smart etc etc. I mean, he fit am well well o.

He gave me butterflies and he made me happy and to me, all was well in my world until that warm summer day some years ago, when I saw what I saw. The hard core evidence was enough proof for even the dumbest woman on the planet, and after I confronted him about it…I packed my load and was O-U-T. It was a tough choice, and a hard decision and in retrospect sometimes I would ask myself why I walked away from someone who was so good to me, especially after all that I seemed to run into post-him was a bunch of stupid ass men. But please…my mama taught me well. No man is worth that BS, no matter how ‘good’ he appears to be so I chalked it up to a ‘whatever’ and kept on living.

I kept my distance for a good while until he randomly emailed me one random day about 1.5 years later. I responded and said ‘Hmmm, what warrants this random email o you blast from the past’ and he said something along the lines of ‘he hadn’t forgotten about me, and couldn’t even if he tried’. It was still a ‘whatevs’ from me. I certainly wasn’t trying to entertain any blasts from the pasts. From then on, we’d talk very randomly and one day he called me and told me that he and her had gotten back together, said he’d ultimately like to thank me for opening his eyes (because the stuvvs that I saw that warm sunny day all related to her; she who had an untouchable mark and history in his life that I could never have tried to hold a torch to).
Said after I bounced from the relationship, he realized that he was still in love with her and so he decided to rekindle things with her. On a contradictory note, he wistfully added that he felt I had rudely interrupted what we had when it had major potential to grow into something big, and how I’m such a wonderful woman blahblahblah. I thanked him, congratulated him and wished him well…
What’s a woman to do?

We didn’t speak again until I ran into him at this wedding... 3 exes and a wedding
and The reception . I had no idea he was going to be there, with her of all people but upon seeing them together I knew that it was officially official and hey! I’m only human…I felt slight resentment for them…her…him. At this stage, I had no idea that they were engaged…until I happened to get word of it on the street and it was really like wow!
Since then, we haven't spoken to each other.

So ummm…yeah, they are tying the knot pretty soon and save for my fleeting second of hmming and haaaing, it really is all good. I know that they will be very happy together, no doubt and I wish them the very best. Ultimately, I am happy that I saw what I saw on that warm summer day…they say that everything happens for a reason and I believe that. Ex + his wifey are meant to be, and if I hadn’t found out then, I surely would have found out later. Their history is untouchable.

As for me, I’ll simply add this to the archives of stories that I will tell my daughters when they grow up and start to experience life and it's ups and downs. Such is life! :-D

Harry Potter inspired memories...

2009-06-04T10:05:00.002-04:00

Update on my collection: 2 down, 5 to go. I found yet another hardback for 99c…dreams can come true. Yes we can baby! :-)

But this post isn’t about that…
Apart from the fact that I’m such a huge HP fan and I truly enjoy reading the books, Harry Potter is one of the things that makes me think of of Ken. I very vividly remember the day I started Uni in Naija, fresh and fly jambito I was. I was set with my hair looking good, a cute outfit and a hardback Harry Potter novel in my hand. You know how the first day of school be, no lecturer was going to be teaching anything for the first week or 2 but people went on campus to register and kiki it up with friends…which was pretty much what I was going to do.My sister who is like my second mommy and has always looked out for me, gave me the once over to ensure that her lil sis wasn’t going to go and disgrace her on campus and observed my Harry Potter book. She said ‘Aha, you have your Harry Potter…correct girl. Now any guy who asks you about it or says that he wants to read it after you is probably a correct guy who knows what’s up…’ Hehehehe, gotta love my sister o jare! She always brings it with the good advice. I took note of what she said, and I was off to school.

Like I anticipated, there were no classes and day #1 involved a whole lot of standing in line to register. When I was done, I hopped on an Okada and went to meet up with a friend of mine who was at her boyfriend’s house…and that is where I met Ken. One of the first things he said as soon as we were introduced was… ‘Oh you have that HP, can I read it after you?’ and I remembered my sister’s words of advice and smiled. But all wasn’t instantly gravy between Ken and I…I mean dude was kinda sweating me hard and I could tell, so me being the fronting, shakara making jambito that I was proceeded to make shakara for dear ol’ Ken.

When I was finished with the bubbling, I went home to gist my sister of how my first day of Uni was. The funny thing was that she happened to be at home with her really good friend Karen; who unknown to me was Ken’s sister. So I walked into my house and sister dearest and Karen wanted to know how school was, and which guys toasted me etc etc so you know I was in there running my mouth about this dude named Ken who was sweating me hard but I just wasn’t feeling him, I even added small jara for them sef…LMAO. After I don nack the tori finish, my sister and Karen looked at each other and burst out laughing. I was confused… ‘Did I say something wrong’, ‘what is so funny’ and in between giggles my sister told me that Ken was Karen’s brother. Jesu! I just wished that the floor would open up and swallow me…like dag. Talk about set up! I begged Karen not to tell Ken what I said and she promised not to, but na beans? Karen definitely told her brother because after that I would run into Ken on campus and he would seriously bone my side ehn! I mean, I felt kinda bad and even suddenly started to think he was kinda sexy but ah well, it was what it was. Ish happens…

Fastforward 2 years later
One day, I got a random call from a random area code and I picked up out of curiosity. It was Ken on the phone…he had just moved to this end and my sister gave him my #. It was so weird, yet funny…we really caught up on gist and even talked about our first encounter. He said he had written me off as one of those childish jambito babes. LMAO…
From that day on, we talked like almost every day and got to be very close. We even started to make plans to meet up, as we expressed a mutual interest in each other. I mean, Ken was like a comfort zone to me…I could talk about everything and anything and he was always willing to listen.
But seriously folk, is it that all good things must come to an end? Because, in this case…it did. You see, Ken had come to these parts for medical reasons and somewhere along the line when we all thought that all was well with him, and he was going to be okay, move on with his life and get started with his hopes, dreams and ambitions…things just went downhill in a serious way and just like that, my dearest Ken was gone.

It was a heartbreaking loss to everyone…his family, his friends, me…everyone! And the last thing that I could do out of respect to him was to go for his burial. How sad that we never quite got a chance to visit each other as planned and when I finally entered his hood, it was to wish him goodbye for the very last time…
I still think of him, and apart from Harry Potter, there are a bunch of very random little things that remind me of him. He was such a HUGE fan of the rapper Nas. When Nas and Jay-Z finally settled their beef, I thought ‘Dag! Ken would have loved to see this’ …just things like that.

He is truly missed and I pray that his soul continues to rest in perfect, perfect peace.
Amen.

On wedding websites, weddings and getting married.

2009-06-01T11:30:00.003-04:00

Wedding Websites
I must admit that I’m a huge fan of wedding websites. I’m not the girl who looks at the pictures of the couple and X’s out the screen. I’m the girl who wants to read about the bride and groom, how they met, how he proposed…the whole 9 yards. Funny enough, I don’t even pay too much attention to the pictures (unless the couple is like really fine…lol).For my fellow wedding webbie fans, isn’t it extra annoying when people jump to the conclusion that because you like looking at wedding webbies, the marriage bug has bitten you. *rolls eyes*But back to the tori sha, mai people this proposal business has gotten out of hand o. As in the oppression no get part 2 again. If in the past, it was okay for ol’ boy to carry you to Fogo de Chao and get down on one knee, now hin male counterparts don outdone him. I be reading stories of how they went to Dubai or the Bahamas and he proposed. E even get this particular website where the bobo proposed with a brand new car, and the ring was on the dashboard or something crazy. I just weak o!E get this other website wey I see where the bobo wanted to wow the girl with an ‘Air, land and sea’ proposal so he carried her to Dubai, took her to a restaurant that revolves in the sky (Air), a boat (sea) and rounded it all up by popping the question while they were having a picnic on the sands (land). I just weak!

Weddings
This wedding craze no be small thing o. Or is it because I am older, that I am now noticing how everyone suddenly seems to be getting married? I have also observed how 95% of the weddings I have been attending are mainly Yoruba couples, with the random occurrence of a Yoruba man and an Igbo woman. So I ask my Igbo men, una no dey marry?I dey wonder o! Either way, I have never been fixated on dating or marrying an Igbo man/marrying within my tribe so nothing do me.
In a totally unrelated point but while we are on the subject of certain tribes, I have run into quite a good number of Urhobo men in my lifetime and among all of them I have observed that they are all really good cooks. Is it an up-bringing thing where their mama’s required that they learn how to cook? I’m yet to run into an Urhobo man who can not cook. Hmm hmmm…interesting stuff sha.

Is Marriage in my future?
My mother is seriously entertaining fantasies of ‘doing a celebration in Ikeduru’ sometime soon (Her words o). I understand that she is anxious to wear her beautiful gold necklace which she specifically told me that would be worn at either me or my sister’s traditional wedding but I don’t know how to tell her not to hold her breath. I admit that I am GUILTY of being a hard core realist and I have entertained the thought that marriage might not be in my future. It is not because I do not want to get married o, because I do. But at the same time, I don’t think that everyone will get married. You know how you have those random aunts who are like 52 and never been married? That could be any of us…that could be me. So umm yeah, I really don’t know…maybe I will meet somebody, or maybe I won’t. I hope it will swing on the positive side and I will continue to pray so. But if it doesn’t…at least I kinda saw it coming…right? Right!

On a closing note, I wonder if men still do the traditional way of having their people meet with the girl’s people to do the formal introduction before they pop the question. Or do they pop the question and then do the formal introduction?

My heart goes out to the passengers & crew of AF447, as well as their families and friends.

Long Post Alert

2009-05-28T08:17:00.000-04:00

What in the world is a 'Long post alert' and why are we now alerting people in advance and issuing disclaimers when we want to write epistles on our blogs?
Is it that people in this day and age have forgotten how to read? I mean, I be reading some posts and the corresponding comments and folk be in there talkin' bout 'Wow, this was such a long post'....shuoooo. And e be like say this thing is a new thing. I've been a blog stalker for a minute now and them older bloggers used to let it roll with the long posts and epistles and I never saw disclaimers like *Long post alert*, neither did I see commenters talkin' bout 'whoaaa. Long post, I will be back to read'

Reading is FUNdamental peoples. I mean, blogger is a place for folk to read and write so why should the so-called long posts scare you off? Why should we as bloggers be letting folk know in advance that the post finna be long? Is the essence of this to tell the ADHD peoples not to even bother reading the rest of the post once they see the disclaimer? Or are we apologizing in advance for a post that kept you reading for 1-2 extra minutes? I don't quite get it...
If you don't want to read and are on blogger to strictly look at pictures, then hop on over to the fashion blogs/gossip blogs/video bloggers and allow man pikin o jare.

That's why I like that troublemaker called Culture Cynic with her friggin' epistles and long tales. I mean ol' girl can raaaambleee but I actually loves it sha :-p. She sabi go on and on and she makes no apologies for it, those who wan read go read, and those who lose interest after the 2nd paragraph no go read. No disclaimers there...(save for one. Teeheehee)

Aniwoos na the matter wey I dey ponder on o, and I blogs it as I observes it. And abeg before pesin comes and accuses me of 'ranting', as I typeth I am listening to my Lily Allen album (Great album BTW) and sipping on my H2O. I just dey cool like a freezer, just dey chill like chili, dey maintain to sustain like a plantain. No be me again? Abeg o, nurrin do me!

I hail una!