Sunday, December 13, 2009

Random update of some sorts

Apt title...since I really have no title in mind for this one.

I will admit that it annoys me when people say things like 'I don't expect anything from anyone' in relation to friendships.
If you don't expect anything from your friends then who will you expect it from?
What exactly is it, that you do not expect? You don't expect friend A to offer a listening ear or helping hand when you need it the most? Then why is he/she your friend? 'Cos he/she offers great shopping advice and always has the first scoop on what is going on in Hollywood? I really don't get it... Maybe someone can explain it to me sha o. My own be say that if you don't expect anything of me then maybe you don't value me as much as I'd like you to and err that might be a problem.
I know, I know... My attitude towards a lot of things tend to leave little room for gray areas... Na so so black or white. Maybe I need to work on that ehn?
Oh and before someone comes with the 'humans are inherently evil' argument, like I always like to say 'give people a chance to mess up first'. No long thing...


I think its interesting how you encounter some people who swear that you are their personal person and what not, I like to think of these folks as being the empty barrels who make the most noise or like Kelly Hansome go tok am, this na serious case of iti kom kom. They make the most noise because when you actually need them to be more about the talk, and less about the action na so e go fly you like say you dey airport tarmac and British Airways just flew past you. Hmm hmm they aint slick indeed.

Some people are interesting, take 2. Whoever came up with the term 'be slow to speak' and what not, sure wasn't lying. I think it's quite interesting how folk get all emotional and say all this stuff out of anger, and then selectively forget their words in like 2 weeks. If you feel X way then so be it, don't try to come and be all LOL, smiley face-ish later on sha.

I'm watching MSNBC lock up, and tis quite interesting. One inmate in the mentally ill unit has been locked up since 1993 when in a delusional haze, he shot his mom and ate her brains. Wow!

I really and truly am so over it.

Some of my friends said that I can be 'surface'. Now I make an extra effort to share what I imagine to be adequate updates. I don't think that I'm surface, I just don't feel like most things in my life are gist worthy and for the rest, maybe I like to digest and turn whatever the heck it is over before I share. On the flip side, sometimes I get the feeling that people do not even listen in the first place, so why bother sef? I will admit that I'm definitely not one to talk about my problems though, I tend to internalize those ones a lot. In the past coupla weeks I've been on all sorts of emotional rollercoasters, highs and lows, hot and colds, bleh and okay etc etc and to begin with, I can't place one finger on what the main wahala is, talkless of even trying to talk about it with anyone. That is my story on that one, and I am sticking to it.

Some people don dey seriously fall my hand sha, but it really is all good.

I was telling someone how I've noticed how a whole bunch of caucasians be getting married early (I.e before 28-30, per my definition). 80% of all the oyinbo people that I work with are married. I also noted this at my old job. Another observation was that a bunch of them tend to get married to their high school sweethearts and sure enough, when I asked my senior where he met his wife, he said high school. I have now taken to generally checking for wedding rings on every Caucasian that I see/run into... At work, the mall, the train etc and a good number of them definitely be sporting wedding bands and rings. Interesting.

I cringe every time people use the term 'Akata' but I don't cringe for 'Oyinbo' sha. Is this a double standard? :-D

I just generally need the world to be straight forward with me. Are you loving me, or are you hating me? Do you like me, or do you not like me? Do you consider me to be a good friend or do you not consider me to be a good friend? Please circle Y or N. Dealing with people = sometimes quite challenging and I tell ya, I'm just about done with those guessing games. Let's all advance into the 2010 with a clear sense of who is who, and what is what...amen to that!

I watched the Blind side movie and I absolutely loved it. Initially I was cringing like 'the sappiness is killing me softly' and then I got into it. Loved Sandra Bullock's character and the lil boy as well. Prior to this, I hadn't been to the movies since June abi July. I guess me + the movies are really not meant to be. I wouldn't even have seen this one sef, if my coworker hadn't suggested that we go to the movies.

Ok I think I have rambled enough and really should stop here 'cos if you leave me, I go siddon here and just dey yarn/get stuff off my chest.

On a side note,I do not have my personal laptop on me, so can't make the rounds yet but I will certainly get to that soon (I hope), I'm doing the phone blogging thingy again.
I greet each and everyone of you, most especially my anonymous commenters who truly make me smile with the kind words.

Have a fantastic week.

42 comments:

Omosi T said...

Eh, faarrssssstttt

Omosi T said...

Oh ewww, he ate her what????

I call double standard on the oyibo and akata thing o, but to be fair all of them na oyibo.

Not expecting anything from anyone is a way to protect oneself from disappointment, dunno if that makes sense

Azazel said...

Yep it sure is double standard.. I call akata and I call Oyinbo. No need for cringng. Mgbeks idk if it's me but I sense some anger in this post o. Forgive and free ur heart.
Have a fantastic week

blogoratti said...

Have a nice week!

joicee said...

I´m liking the randomness

I tend internalise things a lot as well.... I know that doing so does not make the problems go away so I try to share no matter how hard.
Afterall a problem shared is a problem half-solved

My World said...

Random,really nice!

leggy said...

I expect a lot from my friends oh.I expect them to have my back,to talk me out of a bad decision,to remind me to eat.the answer to what are friends for should never be nothing.I see things in black and white as well.

Lady X said...

"If you feel X way then so be it, don't try to come and be all LOL, smiley face-ish later on sha."

Exactly.

Fierce said...

rant on sister!!!!
you don't have to worry about people not listening, I speak for myself and hopefully more than a few others when I say we got your back, friend-style!
Cool post, random is the new organized
;)
xoxo

Fierce said...

Rant on sister!!!
You don't have to worry about anyone not listening. I speak for myself and hopefully more than a few others when I say we got your back!
Random is the new organized
;)
xoxo

Myne Whitman said...

Like Azazel, I sense something weighing on you. Friends are meant to be depended on, if I can't do that or you won't, then free me jo.
The new year will hopefully bring us all good cheer.

The Blind side was really good no?

TayneMent said...

People *are* challenging. Part of the problem is most people have their characteristics and for the most part stuck with it and people have different definitions of things eg you explaining how people think you are surface, someone could take it as you not bein 100 with them when its far from the case. Like a marriage it's a matter of what one can deal with or not, noone is 100%. Another is we (general everyone) tend to gripe about others and temporarily forget that we have our own.

UnderCover07 said...

Rather random but the post make sense...lol

Ate her brains out? Lord have mercy!

I agree wiv the "I dnt expect things frm my friends" issue; I do expect things from dem, dts y we r friends.

I think the reason most of dem marry their high sch sweethrts is cos dey start dating early. Not like 9ja whr ur Momsie go tell u say she no wan hear anything bout boyfriend till u enter Uni.
Coupled with the fact that marrying early gives dem early freedom and sense of adult-hood.

Have a nice week ahead.

Spiral Waltz said...

I feel like especially in America you really can't expect anything from anyone. Majority of friendships are surface and if you're trying to count on them in your time of need you don miss road be that. I guess you only find out who your true friends are in your time of need. Because for the most part, in the words of The Legendary Roots Crew 'don't nobody give a damn about you, only things you got is God out here in these streets'....

The Nigerian Fetish said...

I agree with the poster above me.

Nice Anon said...

Yes o! We need to know who is who in this new year. You know I have nothing but love for you so that one we don already settle.

Cheer up na. Why are you sounding so off? Nothing dey par! U hear me. Anything wey dey par na wetin? You add the rest. Love ya

miss.fab said...

Ugh I can't stand two-faced people either. It's not that serious. I won't beat you if you don't like me! Lol

Have a good week ahead o jare. Be easy on those friends of yours hmmm :)

Kate said...

OMG so i'm only going to focus on MSNBC lock up because OMG i watch that show.
As in people are demented..like sick!
There was this one episode that i watched...one of the guys names was Alejandro. Tall, sexy thing like this..all tatted up all up to his neck...he probably killed someone/several people..is never getting out..but what gets me is that he is in adseg..(separated from everyone) in this little 6x8 cube 23 hours a day. And when he gets his 1hour outside..he doesn't look beyond the fence because he believes that there's no point looking at what he's never going to have. Mehn... that boy's mind is strong..and intriguing...:D
see me miniblogging!

Gee said...

soo all thus yannings na from fone??
kai--its soo hard for me to type long things with ma fone.
Lol..was reading daily bread the other day, and it grouped such friends as the runners--they always run when u need them.We all need to be standers--gud friends that stand right next to u nd are always there---like me:(
ok mayb im just blowing my own horn.
looool

lol@ iti kom kom--that kelly handsome is not ok o--lol

and i am sooo up for that giving someone a chance till they mess up.

madam how body?

Sugarking said...

"Do you like me, or do you not like me?" \i like you o jare! Shame to bad bele people! lol

48 said...

Arrrggh what happened to the long response that I typed?:( Oh well, have a lovely week love:)

Ms. 'dufa said...

I think most times people say they don't expect much from friends, even when they do, to avoid being disappointed when friends fall short

iphyigbogurl said...

i can also sense that u have something/some people getting on ur nerves or irritating u....
ndo...
hope u feel better....
yea...i do expect a lot from friends as well..

Dreamer said...

Plx come back...i miss ur blue colored fonts ...:(

Tatababe said...

lol!! gurl it sounds like you just wanted to get stuff off your chest sha....I no blame u jor.
With regards to ppl telling u how they really feel about u, truth is, it's not always gonna be like that so just be ur best and leave the rest....
Take care

LucidLilith said...

Oh yes. Especially in the south where they marry as soon as they hit 20 or 21.

I don't really understand the meaning of Akata.

Enoch said...

Aunty,

Compliments of the season. I can see all is well with u. I just say make I hola.

Anyways, Will be back full time very soon. Blessings.

PS: Abeg start going to the movies more often :)

histreasure said...

random randomness..hope u r beta.

i heart you so much on the friendship thing..i have expectations of those i let into my life,it's natural to..and i will give u d benefit of the doubt and hope u come thru..

Repressed One said...

Can I just say me love you long time!

Its crazy how people can be different yet alike. You just described me in you paragraph about being surface. I be feeling like I'm sharing but alas...

I don't have access to my lappie on the regular either and I must say that while I'm grateful for access via phone, blogging n making rounds blows...or maybe I'm just not used to it :(

Blindside was good ey?? I really liked it!! I love Sandra Bullock anyways...

Enkay said...

Yeah, i've always wondered about that too - when friends say they're not expecting much.....what the heck are we friends for huh?

I'm currently having to dig it out with a close family member who said some hurtful words some time back and now pretends to have forgotten! please!

olu said...

Effortlessly random. In fact, na over-random they worry you.

You expect your friends to expect anything of you? Ha! You be original good person. Mordern day friendship, as I perceive it, is 'I've-got-enough-baggage-of-my-own-keep-yours-to-yourself.'

Na wetin 'I' think be dat!

Of course, I like you. If I didn't I won't be a semi-permanent 'commenter' here. LOL!

Nice one!

David.фаворит Бога номер-один said...

MEHN!!!
wentin dey make you rant?
seriously??? you wan talk?

i hope you are better now oh!!!
take care and have a good one :D

N.I.M.M.O said...

Random randomity.

Before now bloggers either updated or wrote something random; now you have created something called a 'random update'.

Na you biko.

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

I love to give people chance to mess up, then i make decisions but i have got a lot of friends who fall my hand

BBB said...

Grirl i can see adt ur rant is mostly about pple issues,
i say leve them and their wahala
if we live life for pple we wont be moving forward
chikena!!!!

Kabi-Osi Edumare said...

Loving the random post.

Fashinga said...

Yeah i agree with you on white people getting married early...i've also noticed that..

These oyinbo's are crazy oh...what will we not hear..he killd and ate his mother's brain?!?! wtf!

I used to be a lot like you when it comes to keeping things inside but overtime, i've learned to open up a lot more. it depends on who you're sharing your problems with... you'd be surprised at how much better you'd feel, opening up to someone no matter how stupid you think the situation is...

I missed u boo and u know ur my personal person...lol!! i no be kom kom..

Later sweetie!!
F.

StandTall-The Activist said...

This is interesting. The brain eating part is so distrubing...

One3snapshot! said...

Mehn this ya post sha. One of those that can't help but make people feel self conscious. Like ummm is she talking about me?

bonnie said...

im late ohh.
but yea relationship and life sigh* ...
i don't think i've been to the cinema in over half a year *gulp* lol.

uNWrItten* said...

random blog lol...akata is a negative term and i dont think oyinbo is...simple.
and the key to relationships is to lower expectations.that way u dont get hurt...sad i know but true
Merry Christmass dear

cerberus said...

Feliz ano nuevo