Sunday, December 28, 2008

My 'first love' getting married.
Wow! He is getting married.
I put first love in quotes 'cos at 17, was it really love? Well...whatever it was, it was niiice. That kind of good feeling that had me randomly cheesing at random hours of the day, counting down the hours till we could see again, my heart skipping when we finally got to see. Ooooh weee, it was nice indeed. It's not often that a man inspires such feelings in my 'cold, cold' heart. :-D

I remember when we first 'met'. Again, I put met in quotes because it was more like me and my friend (Let's call her Amina) saw him walking down the street one day and we were like 'who is that? he kinda cute'.
We had done some research and found that he was the new dude around town, his name was 'boo-boo' and he went to X school. LOL @ our stalking ways. But that's all we knew about his mystery cutie.
And that's how it was...we'd always see him walking down the street and all but he never said nothing. I thought he was snobbish, but when I got to know him I realized that he was just a shy kinda guy. lol...

I was a shy girl too. So before we even said hi to each other, we had something in common. I was uncomfortable interacting with men on that level, and for most of my teen years I had always been the guys girl rather than the girl that the guys wanted to date. If you wanted the girl that the guys wanted to date, the hot one who everyone wanted her digits, then you were looking at my friend; Amina.
So one day when Amina suddenly told me that my boo boo was always checking her out when he walked past her on the roads and that she had a hunch he was feeling her, I didn't question it. It was nothing new. I was dissappointed but I attributed it to those of those things in life and mentally backed off.

I'd always see boo boo around town and dream from a distance...but that was that.

Life went on, a year or 2 went by. We (we being the class of that year; which included Amina and boo boo) graduated from secondary school and everyone started making moves. Amina got admitted to a uni abroad and she left town. I had no idea what boo boo was up to 'cos his sightings were pretty sporadic, and as for me...I had gotten admission to a uni in Naija; thanks to my sweet SSCE and JAMB scores and I was ready to rock uni and be one hot jambite. :-D

Uni was fun, uni was sweet, uni was nice! Till today, I still miss the good ol' days I had in my Naija uni. Good times, I tell ya...but that's beside the point.
Like I was saying, Uni was fun and I was having a good time. I had started getting over my social awkwardness around men and I was getting chyked and toasted like no man's business.
I hadn't been there for up to one month when one hot sunny day, me and my other jambito friends were sitting in front of the engineering building checking out the cuties when lo and behold, who did I see? My beloved boo-boo. Ooooh weeeeeee! I was sooo excited.
My boo-boo was on my campus and I wasn't going to let him slip by. (Keep in mind that he and Amina never had nothing o, all she claimed was that he was using eye to look her way, so I figured he was fair game)

I immediately went up to where I had spotted him and I said 'Hey! I didn't know you went here..'. He was equally as surprised to see me. He remembered me! He smiled this really sexy smile that made my 17 year old self wanna swoon hard and said 'Hey, I remember you from xxx'. That absolutely made my day...I mean I thought I had paled in comparison to Amina but he remembered me dammit!

...And that's how it began. We'd see around campus and make small talk and then one day he offered to give me a ride home. Ahhh at 17, no man could be pulling up into my father's driveway o but cat dammit if this wasn't a risk that I was prepared to take. He drove me home and that day I was so thankful for the ridiculous traffic that is typical in Naija 'cos it gave us even more time to talk and get to know each other well well. I learned that he had gone to x secondary school, he was the first child, he had 3 siblings, we had a bunch of mutual friends...ehn I learned a lot o! And in turn I shared that I was the last kiddie, my sec. school etc etc.
When he dropped me off he asked for my number and chei! that was risk #2 o...'cos them no born you well to be calling my house anyhow if you are a dude but I was like to hell with that. This was my boo boo right there, I was prepared to take risks for him.

We stared talking every day! Unfailingly.
We'd also meet on campus and have lunch, dinner, hang out...whatever. I was really feeling this boo boo of mine sha. One day during one of our numerous convos, he admitted that the first time he saw me, he wanted to find out who I was but was too shy to approach me. I was like 'me ke? I thought it was Amina you were chooking eye for'. He was like 'Huh?'..Ok so long tori short, boo boo mi wasn't chooking eye for Amina. Even though this was like 1.5 years after the fact it still tickled me and made me blush. :-D

So, me and boo boo were loving our selves well well o. In fact I was even planning to move onto campus soon and I couldn't wait 'cos it would give us even more freedom to flengo well well. (Abeg, it was innocent flengo-ing o...i was just 17 o jare!).
We were the cheesiest couple. He'd do sweet things like dedicate songs to me and what not. Typing this, I am giggling thinking about how cheesy and cute we were.

But as we all know...most of the time, all good things come to an end. And the beginning of our end came when one day I went home and my parents announced that I was coming to start Uni Yankee in a couple of months. It was very bittersweet news...I mean at that point who no wan come Yankee? Most of my friends that I grew up with had come to these parts but on the other hand, I was having such a great time in uni with my new friends, bubbling and shuffling and abeg lets not forget the main factor; my boo-boo. Chei, I was sad...

I broke the news to boo-boo the next day and it was such a sad moment. I told him 'Boo boo keep your head up, you still have me for another 2 months, let's make the best of it'. And that was exactly what we did. We were inseperable...
Looking back, I don't know how I got away with having a boyfriend at 17 under my parents noses 'cos they never suspected jack! My older sister knew the deal tho but that's my heart...she didn't rat her darling lil sis out. In fact, she liked boo boo sef..
I mean 'cos like dang I did some jackie chan stunts sha. Some nights boo boo and I would be on my father's phone till 2 in the morning. Chei, can you imagine if daddy had caught me? Na serious hot slap wey I for chop that day o! *Phewww*

Boo boo and I enjoyed the last days of each other's company but it was always tinged with a hint of sadness. I still remember the day before I left town...we spent the a bulk of the day together enjoying each others company and not saying much. That day I stayed out with him till like 10pm (which by my father's standards was LATE) but I was like whatever jo, that was my last day in town and I was gonna say bye to all my friends; which I did and then reserved the best for last which was hanging with boo boo darl.

Coming out here to a different and strange land, I missed boo boo even more. We emailed each every day and we'd say how much we missed each other and all that sweet, mushy stuff. I even printed all his emails out and I'd read them randomly. (Was I sprung or what?)
Come of think of it, I still have them stored in some of my keepsake boxes...I should re-read for old times sake yeah?

But man, there's only so much that terms of endearment via the internet can do to sustain a relationship between an 18 and a 17 year old. We were young and pretty unrealistic thinking that it would last. One day, I went to the library to read and print my daily boo boo email and he had sent me an email talking about he met someone and would like my permission to move forward with her. That day, I cried ehn! (Damn, maybe I was sprung)...but I no go lie, it pained me well well. I replied and said yes boo boo, go with this chick and be happy...and that was the 'end' of boo boo and I.

He still emailed me. I still emailed him but he had a girl in his life now. I was now second place and second place sucked! I got sick of feeling pangs of envy every time I thought of boo boo with his new chick while me I just dey freeze for the American cold and I kinda sorta gave him some space and stopped replying his emails for a while until I got over him and it.

I went back to Naija a couple of times after that and boo boo and I would always hang. We always had our chemistry and I always wished he was a cheaper plane ticket closer to me and vice versa but ah well...
We remained friends, we are still friends and we spontaneously email each other when the mood hits.

Sooo, in our random communication thing that we currently do, I sent him a happy holidays email and he replied me saying that he misses me and there is so much gist for us to catch up on. The numero uno item on the email was 'I am getting married, so please make plans to be there'.
I was shocked, I mean I knew he was seeing someone but I didn't know it had reached that level...

Ultimately, I am very happy for boo boo dearest. I think that his wife will be a very lucky woman, and I am happy that I met him in my lifetime...the 7 months of the young love we were doing was nothing but bliss. I always proudly boast that I have never been in love but in retrospect, the feelings that I had for boo boo was definitely more than an elevated feeling of likeness. It was sweeet! It was niice and I want to experience that again. Somehow, I haven't met a man who made me that sprung but maybe it's 'cos I'm older now, more experienced and I have more walls up around this precious heart of mine.

So, to boo boo and his upcoming nuptials. *Takes a mental shot of patron*, I wish him the very very best and at the same time, I say:- Another good one has been taken off the market.

Happy Holidays people. Wishing you'se lot a very wunnerful new year in advance and I pray that the '09 will see all of you alive, well, happy and healthy.


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

What are you looking for in a man?

The oh so popular question that has had its answers changed and modified over the years.

When we were 16 and just fresh to the dating scene (Well, I was a late bloomer o jare)…this is how we answered it:

*Racks brain*. Actually, I never got asked that kain yeye question when I was 16 jo.

When we were 18 and feeling like big chicks, thinking that nobody could tell us nothing… this is how we answered it:

He must be tall. He must be fit and muscular like Boris Kodjoe. He must be at least 6’2. He must be fine. He must drive a BMW or Mercedes benz. He must be a doctor, lawyer or engineer.

When we hit 21 and felt like we don legal finish, feeling like babes wey don ‘arrive’…this is how we answered it:
*Insert all the answers from 18*, plus he must be older than me. He must make more money than me. He must have at least an 8 or 9 inch stuvvings that will give me multiple O’s every day.

When we hit 25/26, still feeling like big chicks but also realizing that some of our mates don start to dey marry/boo’ed up…this is how we answered it:

He must at least be my height, he must be comfortable in life i.e finances and career wise, if I make more that he does it’s cool...this is 2008 and as an Independent woman, ‘I got it, I got my own’ (according to NEYO). He must have a good and reliable car; it don’t have to be a luxury ride as long as it gets us around. He doesn’t have to be fit like Boris..I mean it’d be a plus but if he’s fat like Yokozuna I can always buy him a gym membership for Christmas. 8 inch stuvvings are overrated anyway as long as he knows what to do in bed, besides it’s not about the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean or whatever the fudge they say.

And then we hit 30, cat damn! Our mates were all married and bouncing bomboy on their lap, doing matching aso ebi with their husbands in church…this is how we answered it:

Is he a man? Sign me up!!!

Tell me ladies, what are YOU looking for in a man?

Happy Holidays honey bunches.

PS:- I'm getting mad mixed reviews on this template of mine. What's not to like?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Tuesdays Randoms

I have so many thoughts swirling in my head, so this might be a long one or a short one. We'll see how it goes.

Someone sent me one of those feel good email forwards. You know the ones that you read and then you vow to be a better person after reading it for like the first 5 minutes till someone pisses you off and it's back to square one? of the things highlighted in the forward was:-

'Love deeply and passionately! You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely'

Ummm...I beg to differ. (My opinion abeg). I say love well o, but shine your eye as your dey love 'cos man, these men ehnnnn. If you no shine eye, na hot hot pepper wey dem go show you!
The kain love sef, love is a damn risk. But we go yarn that one another time..

Ha! Pesin fit read this now and think that I be man hater. I stay getting accused of being a man hater. I am SO not a man hater, I'm just a very realistic woman...there is a difference o, don't get it twisted.
Nonsense and Jagjagbantis!

I pray that in the '09, Individuals will let go of the shades in the club chit. But as we all know, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
PS:- What the hell does that mean sef?

I think that my unmotivation to do a lick of work is going to last through this holiday season. Odikwa risky o!

I think that one of my concerns about potentially never getting married (I can just hear my Pizzle saying 'God forbid' on my behalf) am I going to get some on a constant basis? It's cool to have a 'friend' in your 20's but how can a respectable Naija woman in her 40's still be doing 'A friend of mine' steez. What will my kiddies think? Oh..'cos married or not, I'm still finna have my kiddies o; mine or adopted.
Misplaced priorities right? I should be worried about how I won't have anyone to match aso ebi with at weddings/church. Hmmmph!

I need a personal masseuse on call 24/7.

I wonder how many married couples actually get to have sex on their wedding night. I'm guessing umm 10%. Ok let me change that to Naija married couples...'cos aint no way anyone is going to be doing nada after doing reception till 2 a.m. Hmmm, hmmm...

Would I ever give up shopping for lent or an extended period? That would be a real test! See? I don't even consider myself a shopaholic in the true sense of the word. I hardly ever hit up the malls to even begin with, and I can't say that I make purchases every week. Still, my closet of 1 million shoes, clothes and accessories will tell a different story.
Ah well, ah well...

In 2009, I vow to go more places (I didn't do too terribly this year, actually). I still wanna go to Jamaica. I wanna visit my sisi in Jand, how do I call myself a bubbler and I've never been to Miami, Orlando or Vegas? I shouldn't be saying that chit in public.

Up till sometimes this year, I had always assumed and taken it for granted that everyone had been on a plane at least once in their lifetime, till I ran into a whole lot of folk who said they hadn't never flown. Infact, one of my co-workers said that the farthest she's ever been in this life is NY. Very interesting...

NY, NY. Still a groupie, will probably always be a groupie. Earlier this year, I was actively pursuing plans to move to the NYC. My friends shuddered like 'Ugh, that dirty, crowded city'. Worefa! I'm a city girl...(for now). I love to be where the action is o jare.
Oddly enough, everytime I visit the state of Texas; specifically Houston and Dallas, I always feel like I need to live there as well. But they don't got no H&M in TX tho....hmmmph!

All I want for Christmas is: Peace, love, happiness, friendship, a black Acura TL with tints and nice wheels...throw a 'Sat nav' (per ndi London) into the mix, An Urban outfitters giftcard, A new digicam (I promise to actually start taking my own pics), an Ipod dock to bump my jams...and errrm. That's it. See, I don't ask for much. :-D

Oh, and someone who will be willing to be my personal masseuse 24/ back is killing me here.

That's all folks. Till the next round of thoughts emerge...

Happy Holidays! Make una remain small Nkwobi and Odeku for me o...!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Facebook Sins

This post is inspired by a previous discussion on FaceBook annoyances...

Identify your sin as I list them, pray for forgiveness and promise not to do that chit again!!!

FB Sin #1:- Those damn status updates
A lot of you are guilty of this one. I do not need to know that you just took a dump, or that you just had a great and marvelous orgasm but thanks to FB, I be assailed with this foolishness. 'Abiola just took a great big shit', 5 mins later..'Abiola is wiping her ass'. Like really?
Stop the madness peoples.
I must confess that I stay hating on people who constantly update us with their travel tales. 'Chinemerem is in Jamaica', 'Chinemerem is on her way to China'. If you aint bringing me no gifts from your little vacay then I don't want to know, world traveler!!!

FB Sin #2:- 'Photo albums'
I put Photo albums in quotes because you really can not create some album with 5 pictures and call it a cat damn photo album. Put that chit in your profile pics or something, or better yet wait till you compile about 15 more pictures then you may now create a real photo album. Imagine
me happily balancing to view pics only to cut short at pic #5...? I'm just saying...

FB sin #3:- Burning my cable
Ladies, Ladies, Ladies. Y'all need to STOP burning my cable on FB. Do you not be reading wedding websites when awon boys dey yarn say dem meet wifey on top facebook? It is not a game o. I can not take a picture with some random dude without some oversabis coming to comment with an 'Awwwwwwwwwww'. Chei! Na in bobos go see this 'awwwwwww' and now think that me and ole boy in the pic are an item, not knowing that ole boy got his wifey at home and I'm just borrowposing. If bobo had been scoping me, this 'awwwwww' will not make him take 2 steps back and my love story in the making will be wrap! Abeg o, I carry God bed una...stop burning my cable.

FB sin #4:- Uploading pictures senselessly.
What is up with folk who do this? Just be uploading pictures without even looking through them all for the sake of having 1 million albums on facebook. And of course the scapegoats like me have to suffer for this. It was cool that you took the pic of me nodding off and drooling or the one where I woke up and I had the dried crust on my mouth but do you really have to put that chit on FB just for the sake of having an album up AND have the nerve to tag me? Take your time o! A word is enough for the wise.

FB sin #5:- Those damn applications.
Why do you have all the cat damn application on your page? Don't you know that that chit is unneccessary and just plain foolish? Be there acting like one Johhny just come wey never see internet before. Oh and you really really need to stop inviting me to add the applications too. What the hell is a Vampire application? Or which Harry Potter broom are you? Y'all need to stop!

FB sin #6:- Those damn events in Mississipi
...or Cancun, or Lagos or wherever. I understand that promoters are lazy and they just wanna invite everyone on thier lists but seriously? I look like I live in Mississipi?? Stop that chit, it annoys me. And you decline the yeye event, yet somehow these folk stay blowing up your inbox on some countdown chit...talking about '5 more days till the biggest event of the year'. Lawdy Lawd...make it Stop!

FB sin #7:- Those stupid names.
You know the names... Abiola 'Letmeupgradeyoubaby' Oyegbami or Chinemerem 'Nooneonthecornergotswaggerlikemine' Okoro. I mean...seriously?!?!?!?!

FB sin #8:- Individuals with zero social skills.
...or maybe I'm just extra polite, but if I add you to my friends list, especially if I haven't seen you in a long long while, I always make it a point to say something like 'Hi, hello'. Shoot, you will add me and I will still say hi, hello but no o...Individuals with zero social skills no fit even reply the hi, hello. And you know they be on FB cos they be writing on erryone's walls/commenting on erry pic. So you add me to your list ni? Oohhhh I get it, you just want to look at my pics yeah? Oya now, I get your drift, no shakings...

FB sin #9:- Writing all kinds of foolishness of my wall.
C'mon folk! It's a wall for crying out loud, how you gon' come up in there with all this public information? What happened to my message inbox for privacy's sake? Some people really lack the desired number of brain cells. I'm just saying...

FB sin #10:- You no tact having negros/negras.
Uh uh, you sabi una selves o. Always commenting on people's pictures on some 'you added weight o, what happened, you used to be fine'. Infact recently, I read a comment where someone had said 'You need to stop eating those hamburgers' and I really was like WTF. Infact I am the self appointed, voltron and defender of the people who are subject to these comments so If i catch any of y'all na to put you on blast. Uh uh!

And while we are on the topic of Facebook, may I add that it absolutely amuses me how people wan do love in tokyo on top facebook on some Chimamanda is in a relationship with John, complete with pictures, wall to wall sex and what not. Check back 2 weeks later and tori don change...Hahahahahahah! Ok, let me stop before someone accuses me of being a jealous hater. :-D

Have a good week darlings.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The different perspectives on Wedding websites.

Chai! How can I explain the fact that I went for an entire month without blogging? It's not like I've been busy or like I no get internet. Na just LAZINESS.But the good book tells us to forgive and forget so forgive me. :D

Now on to the topic at hand....
Wedding websites! You knowarramean!!! They are the new rage, they are everywhere, we all stalk Omosewa's blog to get our weekly fix (The yeye girl no too dey on par with the updates sef...hisss!), we all wanna read the 'how we met' stories and look at the pics of the couple. Sometimes the proposal stories have us wondering why we never ran into such a dude in our life time i.e. proposing with a brand new car, flying her to Dubai and Bahamas, all that intricate and romantic stuff. Those kind of proposals have us thinking that if it was formerly acceptable for bobos to take us to PF Changs and do a simple proposal, these genge proposals finna have us wanting the bobos wey go even carry us to Naija, South Africa and Rome all in one weekend sef...hehehehe.Yup, websites are the thing right now and you know you love it!
But one day after running into a friend's ex-boyfriend's wedding website, I had to stop and think. The fact be say, this world na very small place and now it's no longer a case of you randomly stumbled across some random couple's site. These days you be randomly stumbling across the wedding website of someone you know.
Hence my inspiration for this post; The different perspectives on wedding websites. Oya grab ya nkwobi and odeku while you try and figure out which category you fall into.

Category 1:- The Innocent onlooker: Most of us fall into this category. You randomly came across the site; you've never even coughed within 20 miles of the couple. You read their story, ooohed and ahhed over their romantic tale and forwarded the site to your friends.

Category 2:- The Shakara woman: Oh yes! You know yourself! The bobo toasted you die but you made shakara. He blew up your phone, tried to wine and dine you but no o! ‘He’s too short’, ‘He’s too fat’, ‘He doesn’t drive a BMW’. You nexted him for those reasons. And then, he got the message and moved on. You didn’t see him again until Lo and Behold, your friend forwarded you his wedding website and your first thought was like DAMN! Bobo don lose 30 lbs, looks like he ate some beans and grew taller and cat damn, he proposed to his wife by flying her to the Bahamas and buying her a BMW. Internally, you just wither! You’re mentally kicking yourself like ‘O girl, you don eff up serious one o’. If only you had shaken bodi small, maybe na you for dey enjoy with a brand new beemer and a fresh tan from you vacay in the Bahamas, not to mention the blinding rock that would have been on your finger. Oh well, oh well…

Category 3:- The Ex:Once again, most of us fall into this category. Most, if not all of us have exes (Unless you’ve been living under a rock or you just lucked out and married the first man you dated). It doesn’t matter how things ended, could have been on a sour note or a good note but you run into his wedding website and you start to remember how good things were between you two. How he showed up at midnight on your doorstep with flowers in an effort to apologize for an argument y’all had, how he used to beat the nana realllll good during the make up kpansh session, how he went down south and stayed down south in the backseat of his ride that random night that y’all was feeling extra frisky, how he…..Ya dig! :DYou remember all these things, think about how the new wifey is gonna enjoy that for her lifetime and you sigh and move on.

Category 4:- The Other woman who aint know she was the other woman: Unfortunately, some of us do fall into this category. You met him on July 4, 2007 at the Naija reunion, he stepped to you and his game was tight. You were swayed and y’all got it on and poppin’. 1yr and a half later, he gave you some bullsheet reason for not wanting to carry on and it was the end of you and him. You’re still kinda salty about the way ish went down and whenever his name is mentioned, you still roll your eyes. One day, you randomly stumble across Omosewa’s blog and his wedding website is among the list of featured sites. You click on it and dammit! You can’t believe what you are reading. His how we met story says that he met his fiancĂ©e on that same July 4, 2007 and they have dated ever since.You are SPEECHLESS and very much saddened by the trifling nature of men in this present day and age…
And there you have it. I think I have covered the 4 main categories but if any others spring to mind, feel free to add.

Mgbeke is bizack!!!

PS:- Shoutouts to the Illmatic one for kinda, sorta inspiring this post.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Quintessence of Me

These kind of encouraging notes never get old to me. And I just had to post this one 'cos it's an original one, written by a dear friend of mine.


Don’t Ever Forget That You Are Special… Don’t ever forget that you are unique. Be your best self and not an imitation of someone else. Find your strengths and use them in a positive way.

Don’t listen to those who ridicule the choices you make. Travel the road that you have chosen and don’t look back with regret. You have to take chances to make your dreams happen. Remember that there is plenty of time to travel another road – and still another in your journey through life. Take the time to find the route that is right for you. You will learn something valuable from every trip you take, so don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

Make friends who respect your true self. Take the time to be alone, so you can know how terrific your own company can be. Remember that being alone doesn’t always mean being lonely; it can be a beautiful experience of finding your creativity, your heartfelt feelings, and the calm and quiet peace deep inside you.

Be open minded, "shamelessly" copy whatever qualities/character/style/swag you admire (cos in the end no ones gon say 'hey, you got that from Elle magazine'; i love your style is the only punishment you'd probably be getting!) Be careful not to loose yourself, pick out the good and be disciplined enough to discard the bad. Sow seeds of time to your endeavors; you are guaranteed to get results, always remember that time wasted can never be regained. Learn from the mistakes that those around you have made, make up your mind not to follow the same path.

Don’t tell your problems to just about any ear that cares to listen, only share it with those who will be part of the solution, give you good counsel, or who truly and genuinely care about you. Learn to heal yourself in private, forgive and move on.

No1 priority-my heart must always be at peace, if it isn’t, find a way to fix it, life is too short. Give of yourself, compliment freely, and eXpRess yourself cos unexpressed feelings never die (4real sha, they’re a pain in the neck!). Don’t get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing....:o), you’re never too old for butterflies…Make your home your sanctuary, let it exude warmth, my bed is the best place on earth...

True values are priceless. No amount of gain can make up for the loss of values. The most precious things in life are things that money just can’t buy. People with character, integrity and values are not for sale....

Most ImPoRtantly; Never leave home without a word from God, prayer and praise is ALL you need to achieve anything... AnyThinG!!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

At this moment...

...I'm curled up in bed listening to my Love Jones soundtrack. (I can't get enough of this album)
I'm clean. I smell like Johnson's baby lotion.
I'm thinking that I am tired of putting any form or manner of effort into this thing called dating. I just want to be.
I'm Okay.
I'm adding more songs to my 'happy days' playlist. My favorite song on this playlist is 'Just dance' by Lady Gaga. It really makes me wanna drop everything and...just dance.
I'm contemplating buying that dress off the old navy website. Nyeh..maybe not.
I'm reliving the weekend and thinking that I had a blast.
I feel kinda optimistic about the future.
I'm re-evaluating some relationships.
I'm replaying Xscape's 'In the rain' for the 3rd time.
I'm wondering what destination I'll pick for my next vacay trip.
I'm thinking that i should unpack. But I don't feel like it.
I'm nursing a slight headache.
I'm missing my sister dearest.
I'm missing my heartbeat.
I'm wishing both of them were closer to me...geographically.
I'm making a mental note to blog more often.


Friday, October 3, 2008

'A God Fearing Man'

Typical question:- 'What are you looking for in a man?'
Typical answer:- 'He must be tall, handsome, God fearing.....'

Which leads me to ask. What is a God fearing man? Is a God fearing man= A Born again christian?
And I only ask because half the Individuals that be requiring God fearing men don't necessarily appear to be God fearing women themselves. So you want a 'God fearing man' that will fear God and still be kpanshing you every night?
I mean...I'm confused.
Then again, I've been accused of approaching the matter of religion in a strictly black or white way. There are no gray areas for me. It is what it is...

For instance, when people ask me why I don't go to church...this is always my reply---> I don't see the point of going to church if you're not a born again christian/do not plan on giving your life to christ any time soon. Very black POV, I imagine but like I is what it is.
I mean, you go to church on sunday and you praise God, pray for forgiveness, dance and show off your new shoe and bag. Go home and fall into your same ol', same ol' routine and round and round we go. What's the point?
Make I kuku sleep in on sunday morning na....
Oh yeah, people have tried to counter that lil argument of mine with 'Going to church uplifts your spirit and you just never know, you might be touched that day and turn your life over to God'...True that! I can't argue could happen.

So as you can imagine..a 'God fearing man' has never been my top 10 of must have characteristics in a man if God fearing indeed= Born again Christian which I only imagine that it can.

The end.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

The reception...

The reception was ummm.... quite interesting.
That person with the sense of humor upstairs decided to pull one final one and strategically place Ex #1 and Estelle at the table right next to the bridesmaids. Ex #2 and his wife were at the table right next to them and Ex #3 and his fiance were seated at the table right next to my friends who I happened to randomly stop by and check up on. I mean...fancy that!

By this time, I had downed my H2O, cleared my head and i had my gameface on. I mean, i was looking extra cute that day anyways so kini big deal? When the MC announced the bridal party and we had to dance in, best believe that I danced well and I looked good doing it. Haba! I wasn't about to let no damn 3 exes and thier wives ruin my day of fun.
Like my friend said after the fact, 'Mgbeke, you are a Beassssssst'. *Takes a bow*

So I danced in and noticed that Ex#1 and Estelle were seated at the table right next to me. I guess at this point I should give y'all the headsup that the this reception gist was really about them 2 lovebirds; or to be more specific...Estelle herself... and not the #2 (Not significant) or #3 (Seated farther away from me, thankfully).
I might not have been phased but I was pretty aware of them in my is only natural.
I bet this awareness must have been mutual 'cos your girl Estelle stared me down like practically all night. Or was it?
Why? She couldn't have been checking out the competition, could she? I mean...she got her man back and I 'lost out' so I definitely wasn't no damn competition.
Or was she checking to see his taste? If she was going by me then I bet she must have given him an A++. I'm just saying....
Was she threatened by my presence? *Raised eyebrow*
What exactly was the problem 'cos I kid you not when I say that Ol' girl stared me down all night. I mean, we'd have instances when my eyes would gravitate towards them 2 and like say na magic, she would happen to be checking me out. This happened like ummm...3 times? I come talk say ok, I'm not gonna look at ol' girl anymore so I made a conscious decision not to.
I was pretty busy anyway...picking up the dollar bills that off the ground from generous individuals making it rain on the couple, hanging out swag bags to guests so I kinda sorta stayed away.

But then it was time for dance, dance and even more dance and you know your girl was in the building. Any chance to dance and act a fool is always cool in my book. I hopped on the dance floor with my homegirls and us girls started to do it up. Looking back, that was one FUN wedding.
Aniwoos your girl was dancing and minding her business and small by small, I'd get comments from 1 or 2 homegirls who knew the drill...'Na wa o, that Estelle chick has been staring at you', 'Why is she looking at you?'...
Wetin consain George Bush with Okada. Me I was there dancing away and secretly liking the fact that Ol' girl was checking me out. See me see wahala o, apart from the shoutouts I gave Mr. Ex at during the intermission, I had done a good job of staying away from the foolishness so why you wan dey chook eye for my side?
Oya now...since she wanted to be doing luku luku like Lucozade, I decided to increase her viewing pleasure and added some extra jara to my dancing. LOL!
To sum this tori,
She finally hopped on the dance floor after checking me out from her little corner on her table and even while dancing with her boo, she was shooting me some quick glances. (I had my girls scoping that stuvvs for me, plus me kwa...I decided to engage in some looking of my own). :D...shey na free world? Do me I do you back, God no go vex.
At one point, my friend wanted to grab her hand and draw her closer to our circle because of the level of Luku Luku-ism that she had displayed but I quickly shut that idea down. Only grab?

Sooo somewhere along the course of the night, Oga Ex#1 finally decided that he'd introduce us. I was dancing/picking money up off the floor and he tapped me...
'Mgbeke meet Estelle'
I feigned surprise. 'Ooooh, you are Estelle huh?'...Nice to meet you.
Nice, to meet you too. She said...and that was that and back to the luku-ism. Hahahaha....

And speaking of that Ex of mine, let's not start on HIS own level of luku-lukuism 'cos I certainly peeped him. Infact i suspect I'm the star of the show in his little webcam that he was using to record the reception events. I'm just saying...

Exes and thier babymama's or not, I had a great time all in all. I remember waking up the next morning with a body quite sore from all that dancing and a smug smile on my face. Pleased to have intimidated you sweetie, please check back again.

It aint easy at all.

The end.

Monday, September 8, 2008

3 exes and a wedding.

That day I knew that someone up there must have been cracking up at my expense....

The day was a nice spring-ish day. My friend's sister was getting married and she asked me to be in the bridal train. I agreed. Free dress, free accesories, all I had to do was just show up. I imagined it would be a pretty uneventful wedding as per I didn't expect to know anyone there. Uneventful my right foot.
Oh it started out uneventful enough. Ya know the deal..walked down the aisle and played my role as one of the cute bridesmaid. Time for church to be over and us folks to walk out na...I'm walking out and I dey use my side eye to scan the crowd small and who do I see sitting right there at the end of the aisle shining his 32? Ex #1. I almost tripped in surprise, but I played it off pretty nicely. I mean..I was surprised. What was he doing there? He doesn't even live anywhere close to my hood.
So brushing that off and making a mental note to catch up with him later, we got outside and pretty much were standing around waiting for the part where we whore ourselves out for the cameras so that the lovely couple could have a bunch of beautiful pictures to show thier kiddies and grandkiddies, and who taps me on my shoulder? Ex #2. Side note:- Technically, I don't consider him to be an ex, we never had a relationship per say. Sure he was trying to holla and we went on a couple of dates but for purposes of making this tori sweet pass, I go call am Ex #2.
But back to the tori...
*Gasp*I immediately went into catch-up mode..Gave him a big hug (I hadn't seen him in like what? 1 year or so?) OMG, what are you going here, it's been ages blahblahblah. He told me that he moved to another city. I said wow! So you came to spend time with family? He said nope, that he came with his wife who happened to be someone's cousin.
Hold-up! Did I just hear what I thought I heard? Wi gini?
'Whaaaat? Did you just say wife?'He smirked at me and said 'I sure did' and then proceeded to turn around and point her out. Of course she was hovering somewhere real close to. I mean, I don' blame her. When you see some chick all enthusiastically gushing over your hubby, you best get into that FBI mode...young trifling hoochies of nowadays..LOL!I was in shock but I quickly remembered to take a step or 2 back. Married men have always been a no-no and I promise y'all I was just being friendly. Hehehehehe....
We exchanged a few more catch-up tidbits and I quickly found my square root and told him I'd catch up with him later.
In retrospect, I think he was all too happy to point his wife out seeing that I made some serious shakara for him when he used to toast me. Hahahahaha!

Meanwhile we still had Ex #1 that I had to go say hello to o. I mean..what was he doing there? It was a little intermission/mix and mingle thing while the wedding folk set up the reception hall and there was a bunch of people standing around and mingling. I made a beeline for the people carrying suya around on trays and armed with my 2 sticks of suya, I was on a mission to find that Ex of mine.
As I made my way through the all the girls posing in corners with thier short dresses and the guys posing against walls checking the ladies out, my eye fell on him, him, HIM. I repeat, someone up there was cracking the heck up at my expense. WTF was HE of ALL people doing here? Him being Ex #3. I pinched myself and took a big bite of suya hoping that I was hallucinating but no o..pinches and suya no gree for me. I sho as heck wasn't seeing things. It was Ex #3. Mind you I hadn't seen ol' dude in like what? 3 years or so? Last time I checked he lived in another hood and apart from our random catch-up convos now and then, I didn't know much of what was going on with him. I guess he could feel my eyes boring into his being 'cos he turned around and saw me.
*Activate catch-up mode*
Hoh Hem Gee. Fancy this... I said. He was like indeed, it's been what? how many years?
I asked him who he knew and he said the groom and him had gone to Law school together. Shoulda figured that was the connect. Meanwhile from the corner of my eye, I noticed some chick hovering in the background. Close enough for me to know that they came together so I kinda gave her a pointed stare and he was like 'Oh yeah, meet my fiance ****'
Fia whaaaaaat? Oh Jesus. I need a glass of water.
But I quickly composed myself and put my gameface on. 'You're You're engaged?'He was like 'Yeah, yeah... a lot of things have changed'. They shoooooo have. I mean throughout the time that we dated, he always insisted that he would NEVER get married and was damn serious about it. So me kwa, I figured ish wouldn't come to much and peaced out only to come and find out that Ol' boy don engage himself finish. Ewooooo! Yep, things don changed indeed.
But aniwoos back to my tori...I made nice with the fiance, made small talk with both of them and for the second time that day, found my square root. My mind was spinning...Looking back now, that was one funny day!
But yo, it wasn't over o. That person up there wasn't over and done with the jokes. Just when I thought that I was finally digesting all the info and getting used to being in the same space with 3 exes and 2 significant others, who do I run into? The much sought after ex #1...and no, there was no woman hovering in the background 'cos trust me I did a quick scan. We hi-hi'ed it up. (I had seen him within the last 12 months or so, so I didn't have to go too much into the catch up mode). Asked him what he was doing at the wedding, caught up on some random gist and I promised to catch up with him later.
So I walked out and was chilling with my homegirls in the cut, you know staying out of the way of the 'razzi's and all that media attention when I noticed him walk around my way with a woman on his arm. Oh I was all eyes and ears (UnderG of course)...he walked over to the group of girls standing behind us and introduced her.
'Meet Estelle** (For purposes of this tori)
I stood very still for that nano-second as I quickly put 2 and 2 together.
Estelle? That same Estelle? No really, the same Estelle?? WOW! No blame am o, her role in the interruption of me and him was pretty innocent and in retro, they had wayyyyyyyy too much history for me to even try to hold a torch to alladat. I mean, they are married now....But wow, that was the final straw for me and at that point I really did take a time out session to escape somewhere and down a tall, cool, glass of H2O while I asked the person up there if he/she had any more jokes up thier sleeve.

I mean damn! The reception hadn't even started yet....

Friday, August 22, 2008

I'm backatcha Part 2

Oya o, make una organize the Nkwobi and Odeku!

What's crackalackin' bloggers?
I've been good o. No I haven't been in a corner sulking, My funk lasted for max a week but my lazy self just never made it back to update.

Plus add in the fact that I've had a bunch of stuff going on...i.e Work, stuvvs and MOVING. Yes, yes moving apartments is taking up a lot of my sweet time.
Infact I talk say make I blog cos I have no idea when I'm gonna get my internet hooked up at the new spot...Comcast is trippin'.

But, enough about me? What is really hood around these parts?
NDQ, I salute you o. How you dey na?
Madam Sting, how was your Mcat?
Is Afrobabe still tantalizing us and making us cross out legs at work with her stories?
Oga James bond, I greet you o.
Baroque, what foolery have you been up to these days?
Free and flowing, how the wedding planning?
My darling Overwhelmed, how are you boo?
Is Jarrai back from her break?
Zena, how body na?
My one and only Okirika woman, I hope say you still dey maintain o.
Iwalewa, what's good girlll?
Simplegal, you don scarce o.
Jaycee, happy belated birthday sweetart.
Afronuts, I hail you o!
LG, how you dey na?

Abeg if I forget anybody, no vex. Na temp amnesia. I hail of you una o.

I promise that when I'm all settled and blah blah I will be bizzack!


Monday, August 4, 2008

Happy Birthday to me

I am a year older.

It was bittersweet, as something happened around the same time frame that currently has me feeling like crap.

I think i will take some time off to recuperate. Do you promise to not forget that I exist?

I will be back soon.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Have you heard of One3snapshot?

Well if you haven't, please visit and acquaint yourself with all that the website has to offer.

Here's a sneap preview of what to expect:
Fela Original Sufferhead Tee

Fela Teacher don't teach me nonsense Tee

Speak your mother tongue tee

Custom hand-painted designs

..among a list of others.
Get with One3 and get 15% off your entire purchase as part of a site launch discount promo with this code--> SFFRHEAD

and tell 'em that the Mgbeke sent ya. :)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Guidelines for a fun-filled Reunion

Whaddup folks? What's crackalackin'? How did you spend your July 4th weekend?

Well, I spent some of it engaging in the reunion activities since it just happened to be in my hood. Now I must have you all know that I am no stranger to reunions and what they entail.
I remember my excitement at going for my first ever reunion, at meeting folks and observing all the foolishness that everybody claims will take place. But if you've been to more than one reunion like me, you'll come to find that it's really the same ol' thing. What makes a reunion is the people who are there, don't depend on the actual events that are organized by whoever is hosting that reunion (since we now have many perpetrators) because you'll come to realize that half of the time, ish is not organized.

But as I was saying, I went to ze reunion and I got a chance to observe some folk and this inspired me to create my list of guidelines to a fun-filled, poser free reunion for all reunion JJC's who plan to attend one next year.

1. If you're going to participate in all the events, I'd advise you to buy your ticket in advance cos them bishes is greedy! Imagine cover charges for the parties increasing from $20 to $60. Say who die? Abi George Bush don start to dey climb Okada.

2. Remember that it's just the reunion. It's just a 3 day event mainly filled with a whole bunch of hot, sweaty individuals. You don't need to take out a second mortgage for posing and effizy purposes. My dudes, I should be telling y'all this. Carrying your financial aid refund check that you are supposed to be using for books/wiping out your entire savings account just for effizy purposes is not the business. The sad thing is that in the end, you probably won't even get NONE. I'm just saying...

3. My Ladies, My Ladies. I had a blog entry about fashion no-no's. Look for it, read it, and learn in. Don't be disgracing me up in there.

4. My people! The good book advices us to do unto others as we'd like them to do unto us. Please do me one good deed and buy some damn deodorant. Haba! e remain small I for hala George Bush say I don discover the WMD's o. Kai!!!

5. My ladies again, a picnic should be a nice, chill, laid back environment where people mix and mingle. What's with wearing them high ass 5" heels and club baffs at the picnic? *confused look*
I swear to y'all, Chicago '04, I saw some chick wearing knee high boots at the picnic. I was quite and very weak.

6. My Dudes! What's up with that fake phonetics mixed with Yoruba accent that y'all be doing? Una don dey watch too much BET ni? Abeg stop am o! No be the same Naija reunion wey we dey, abi una wan prove who be the JJC and who don tanda for this Yankee for longer ehn? Ok o!

7. Oh and my Dudes again...go back and read the post on fashion No-No's. Y'all on some steez sha. Now everybody and their father wan rock mohawk. I no fit shout!

8. One more time for my dudes. I am waiting for the day I will go to an event/reunion and someone won't start a fight. See the foolish things you guys be fighting over sef, i sure say e no pass woman. I remember Philly reunion when dem start fight, na so dem come put Ndi Naija on top of the local news o. *smh*...
E get one party wey we go one time, bobos dey fight so me I come ask one dude standing beside me and his exact words were--> 'Don't mind them, they are fighing on pussy' so my dudes I beg una..please stop fighting on Puzi!

9. As we all know, the reunion is a kpanshing and chooking zone. Ok make it do what it do then, just remember to keep it wrapped up and play it safe. Ladies abeg no kpanshing under the influence biko. And if una wan kpansh, inspect the dude well. Is he rolling with a Posse? Try to stay away from dudes in Posses before you go enter picnic the next day, awon boys go just dey look you because they don hear ya gist.

10. Be yourself! That goes a long way...go with an open mind to have a good time and don't try to put on any airs to impress people. Nobody cares anyway, you're just one out of the million people that show up. Someone's effizy must ultimately pass ya own. Have fun!!!

The 'retired' reunion goer. (I don dey old o :D )

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I'm backatcha!

...or whatever it is that 9ice was trying to say.
Speaking of 9ice, his Gongo Aso album is straight fire! My faves on that album are: Gongo Aso (Duhhhh), Kasa Final and Street Credibility but practically every track is hot! Check it out....

Ok, I have done my good deed aka free promo for the day.

Now on to the heart of the marra!

Puerto Rico
Puerto Rico was amazing. Absolutely amazing. I had a really good time with the small group of people that I went with. No drama, attitudes or foolishness from anyone (and you know that is a huge deal when you're on vacay)...we really got to do a lot of sight seeing, partying, laying by the beach...Oh I rocked my 2 piece o! I didn't exactly make the beach body plan work but you know me! I still made it, errrmm....chopulating that good ol' 'rican food, broke my strip club virginity but the strippers were hella dry looking with their boobless, nyashless selves, and matter of fact, one of the clubs that we went to had hired male strippers...apparently it was some sort of ladies night and boy o boy, my eyes saw all sorts of stuvvings o. I mean, all in all...I had a FAB time. Infact I'm inspired to go on vacay every year so make I start my little travel fund for the '09.
On my way back, I had a 4 hour layover in Miami so I got a chance to leave the airport and go down to South Beach and chilled for 2 hours or so doing nothing in particular, just people watching and window shopping. I've always wanted to go to Miami/Orlando so at least I can say that I kinda sorta been in Miami but I'm planning a real trip soon.

Sorry sha, I absolutely suck when it comes to taking pics...I don't even know why I own a camera so no pics.

Naija Movies
In a previous post where I commented about watching Naija movies, I noticed that Miss NDQ made a comment 'bout how I should mail some to her. My sister, don't tell me you aint never heard of Please say you
But on the realz, what is going on in Nollywood? I mean what is really hood in the Nollay? Na so I come break my 2 month hiatus enter Onlinenigeria the other day and what did I see? A movie titled 'Beyonce and Rihanna' in a fit of serious amusement, I tok say make I chook eye watch small ting. Na so I come notice say Oga Jim Iyke dey play the main character and ooh ooh $1 for anyone who can guess what his name was?
Jay-Z of course!
*Blank stare*
Nollywood, we need to do BETTER! And that's all I'm gonna say on this issue (for now)

In regards to my most recent post, who tok say na single blues? Abeg stop am o...we go fight! I no fit comment again without some pipu concluding say me sef wan marry but I never find hubby? Afronuts na you o...I go beat you!

In regards to commenting within your comment box, how do you do it? And I have to give props to NDQ for this one because she always replies commenters in her comment box. I know this 'cos I go back to read what she said to me...LOL. And chick be having like 100 comments...I hail you o!
So my blog pipu, make I ask na...if you make a comment and the blog owner doesn't reply to your comment in his/her comment box, do you consider this to be rude? Just curious...

Peace and Love.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Nkeiruka has just updated her relationship status on Facebook... MARRIED, ENGAGED or MARRIED WITH ONE BOMBOY ON THE WAY.

Cat damn!

I mean I just logged onto FB and the thing just assailed me left, right and center. If it aint a relationship status update, it's a new photo album showcasing the wonderful details of the wedding day/honeymoon.
And I'm like huh? *Blank stare*

My brain just can't put it together. I swear it can't. For one, it's like ok we are young babes still in our prime. I thought we were gonna wait till we were getting closer to 30 and all partied out before we decide to settle down. (Umm but apparently, it seems like that's just me..LOL).
And I've known most of these chicks for a good minute/have history with them and this lil brain of mine can't imagine them in the wife/mother role.

I mean, half of these babes went to boarding school with me; We knelt on the same lawn for 8 hours, scrubbed the same toilets and campaigned for the same prefect positions in SS3. And now they married? Ok brain..process. process. process.

The other half partied with me; We wore our pum pump shorts and felt cute, went to the same reunions and really did lift up our hands and scream 'baaalllinnggg' in the club. And now they are breast feeding little bomboy while their hubbies look on lovingly. Brain, imma need you to start working hard now.

Or maybe it's just extra strange to me because we aint even 26 yet. Because you see, when I was younger and I thought about brain always jumped to an age > 26. Now I am older, and my brain still jumps to an age > 26. I guess some things don't change.

But, I'm learning that everyone is different and different strokes definitely work for different folks.

I am no where near married, not even remotely thinking of it at this point, do not see it in my short term future (read 2 years or so), and I swear my main concerns now are who to forward my resume to and what color of shoes to wear to work tomorrow. LMAO....priorities sha!!!

And on the other hand, Nkeiru baby is probably ready and has been ready for a minute, can't wait to settle and start doing the motherhood and wifey thing.

Definitely different strokes for different folks.

So, I'm gonna recover from this mini shock at how everyone is growing up and not the lirru babes we used to be. I'm gonna try to separate who we are now from who we used to be and not exclaim 'Yekpa' next time I see a FB status update and immediately of how the bride-to-be/bride and I used to scrub the red house toilets every saturday morning. I will try not to think of how we were at every bubbling party that was thrown and how we met up at the reunion in '04 and partied till the sun came up. That was then, this is now.

But as for me? For now, I'll be content with being the wedding guest who posts up by the open bar, chopulates all the wedding food and flirts with the groomsmen. My state of mind is still 'Girls just wanna have fun' and I'm content with doing just that so there will be no status updates from this end anytime soon.


P.S:- Can I just say that I LOVE you guys? I read your well wishes and I was truly touched. Thank you! :D... My tooth is almost healed and I get to take my stitches out tomorrow.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


I got my tooth extracted yesterday so I'm in bed watching Naija movies and recovering.
All I can eat is soft cereal and oatmeal. lol... I'm craving a nice juicy burger dammit!

Oh well, Oh well. I'll be back soon.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

This and That

So much for my operation beach body plan. I've been irritated all day and I wolfed down 4 banana muffins. No guilt!

I'm ready to make changes. A job change, a location change, shoot I just might be Xing some folk off my ever decreasing list of whatever.

I spent Memorial Day weekend in the NYC and once again I asked myself why I ever put my relocation plans on hold. For as long as I've been a frequent NYC visitor, I've always wanted to live there. NYC is my city..the lights, camera and 24/7 action. And now the urge has kicked in extra hard. What's holding me back? No hubby, no kids, no contract tying me to the J-O-B. Just do it!
It'll happen in the '09 (By God's Grace) but I've started up my little networking scheme as per employment opportunities.

I don't what what has been wrong with me lately. I've been feeling extra removed from people and situations. I wake up annoyed, my road rage is worse than ever... honestly, I need a TIME OUT. Time to think, re-assess, re-evaluate. Wooooosaaaaah!

I'm sitting in training class typing up this entry and the girl across from me has NON-EXISTENT eyebrows. Pretty intriuging. She kinda reminds me of Audrina from the hills..ditzy, clueless, stupid. I know I'm totally judging the book by the cover but sue me.

I totally acted like a Bia Bia with my coworker. He deserved it sha, he can be sooo irritating. Don't say the wrong ish to me on the wrong day.

Oki I have to get back. I just needed to let off some steam/random thoughts.

Will finish up my rounds soon.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Yay Area

I spent the weekend + 1 week day in good ol' san francisco. Fun times I tell ya!
This is my 3rd visit to the Bay, Gay, Yay area and everytime I've gone there, it always strikes me how everyone is soo hippie-ish. A bunch of good olk' happy hippies who don't own irons, take daily showers, own cars or even more than a certain amount of clothing but they seem happy! The simple simple life indeed.

As it is with my SF visits, I made sure to stop by the Goodwill store aka Salvation army and my o, my did I find some stuvvs? I wish I had pics. Infact I will take pics and post...
I found the most darling pair of tan Etienne Aigner shoes for $6
Lovely deep purple dress (needs a little alteration) for $7
Lovely mustard bomber for $6
A grey dress for $6
White sling bag for $2.75
And a multi-colored summery straw bag for $2.50

*Note: Do dryclean any items you buy for Goodwill, if you can.

Then I stopped by the forever 21 store and bought some darling shades for $5.99
Old Navy for a cute dress and gold flip flops--> $20 and some change in total

Not a lot of damage at all. :-)

Of course, shopping wasn't the only thing I did. I went to watch my friend and her bandmates play on the street and I raised money for the band in a hat.

I went for a house party on saturday night and I had a ton of fun! Too much fun...I think one of my favorite parts of the eve was winding down on the couch at 3a.m and having a totally meaningless convo with some random cutie. I can't even tell you what the heck we were talking made no sense. lol

We wanted to go to a Hookah bar but plans changed.

We drove up to the homes on the hills (Or the mountains as my razz friend said)

We drove up to some random place, parked and walked up a little hill to look down on the beautiful city. Wonderful view!

I went to a dance rehearsal. That was loads of fun.

And all in all, I had a blast! Visit San Fran whenever you can...

Of course, we ran into the funniest gay dude. *2 snaps for the kids*..he was a TRIP!

Now, I am back to reality. Booo! But I do have a trip to Puerto Rico in June to look forward to. Matter of fact, I have launched my operation 'Get my beach bod by June 20' plan.

How was your weekend? :)

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

You know how you go to an event...

...and you see someone looking like pure FOOLYWANG material and you just know that when they were getting dressed to leave their house, they really really thought they were doing the damn thing.

My people! We have to do better. Say no to foolishness!

My dudes:

Say no to popped collars in the '08. That ish is soo friggin' played out anyway. (Hehehehe..not a lot of people feel me on this one)
Say no to by force metro sexuality. Say no to those velvet blazers, floral shirts and skinny jeans. Ish just aint cute.
Say no to feminine looking cardigans, ridiculous looking waist coats and all that nonsense that you consider to be european style. Some people can pull these things off and some can't. It's not by force o. Just wear your shirt and trousis and come on out, you will still get numbers.
Say no to shades at night. That was not, is not and will never be cool. I don't care if Celebs do it. They look a hot mess too.
Say no to tight shirts if you have a beer gut. Marra of fact, I'm leaning towards saying no to tight shirts in general.

My ladies:

Say no to by force abortion belts. Like dizamn! The essence of an abortion belt is to accentuate your outfit and not make your outfit look like a hot mess. I have seen females wearing spagetti strap tops with abortion belts. *blank stare*
Say no to horrid make up, mis-matched foundation, very obviously drawn in eye brows. Just say no! Go to a Mac/Bobbi brown counter and have someone do a professional job and show you how they did it.
Say no to shades at night. Oh yes, y'all aint exempt either.
Say no to ashawo + ashawo. I'm not fashion expert, but I do know that if you wear a short skirt/pum pum shorts, you shouldn't wear a revealing top. It just takes away from the outfit and makes you look ashawo-ish.
And speaking of ashawo, just say no to hoochie mama outfits. You don't even know how much of a damn mess you look. I went to this parry and saw this babe wearing one mini dress..Ok, no shakings. But the dress come take corner, corner split down the front so na her big bobby wey just dey assail our poor eyes. Haba!
Say no to by force matching. Haba! Red belt, red shoe, red bag, red earrings. You wan blind me ni?
Say no to bad weaves/braids that needed to have been taken out since 1999. Just say no! Mayne, some of you be looking like you have a skunk/dead animal sitting on your hair. What's really hood with that foolishness?
Say no to packing all your trends into one outfit. Abortion belt + Footless tights +........ You get my drift shey?
Say no to borrowing your lil sister's outfit/going to the store and buying a size that is obviously not yours. Especially if you're a big girl.


*Disclaimer: The above post represents the view of the blog owner and not blogger. If any of you is guilty of one or more of the foolishness listed above, please vex not. Rather, I hope that you can do better in the '08.

Hehehehehehehehehe. No kill me sha!

Oh yeah, and feel free to add more.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Tagged Ke?

Naija Drama Queen don put me on the spot o! Haba! :)
Well I got tagged and here are the rules...

1. Link the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

6 Quirks
1. I'll come home from partying at 5am in the morning and while my mates jump straight into bed, I make sure I wash my face and then I proceed to start putting stuff away. (You know how girls tear up the entire room in the process of looking for something to wear)...I just don't feel right going to bed when my room is looking like the Tsunami hit it.

2. I did mention that I color code my closet didn't I? I also organize my shoe boxes by color and my lingerie drawer is organized according to color and style. And nope, I'm far from anal.

3. I'm very particular about good grammar, punctuating, capitalizing etc etc. Dudes have lost cool points for sending texts like 'am coming to ur crib' or 'yu are kool' wtf? How do people switch from being professional via work email to typing such jibberish in personal chat and what not? My mom is an English lecturer..maybe this explains it? lol

4. I love to wash dishes. One of my close friendships developed rapidly when she'd cook and I'd offer to wash the dishes...I think it's very relaxing.

5. If it aint my toilet, I probably won't sit on it. And it could be a toilet at the Ritz Carlton sef...I just won't sit on it. I don't even know why sef...could be partly due to the fact that I think I might catch something or I'm thinking of all the other people who have sat on it before me. At least for my house, I know the kain soap wey I dey carry clean my baffroom! Thanks to boarding house, I learned how to aim well. :D

I realize that most of the above quirks make me seem like some anal, neat freak winch. That is sooo not the case.

6. And last but not least, I collect a broad range of things ranging from clothing tags/labels to condoms. About the's STRICTLY a collection. I aim to have every brand and style..if possible. Someone was even nice enough to go to Naija and buy me a Gold Circle to throw into the mix. Y'all remember Gold circle? Hehehehehe.....

That's all folks.
Ummm...I tag newcomer Simple Gal and that's the only person I can think of 'cos it seems like everyone else has been tagged!

Phew! That was hard! Can you believe I had to go to blogging for Dummies to figure out how to hyperlink? Ha Ha Ha. I never claimed to be a techie o jare. Make una leave me...

Monday, May 5, 2008

How do you spend your money?

$200 on one quality item or $200 on 20 items?
My roomie came up to me yesterday and showed me some Canvas looking Michael Kors bag that she got for $198. It wasn't even leather! For my mind, I just dey think..kai if pesin hand me $200 now na to enter all those my 'zones' and acquire some cheap stuvvings o. Shuooo I aint got shame in my game.
My roomie is the kind of chick who will spend $200 on one item that she considers to be quality.
I have a friend who will spend $60 on a makeup brush.
I have another friend who will enter BEBE and buy 2 items for $120.
In the same vein, I have friends who will carry that $60 and buy a $5 make up brush from CVS and the remaining $55 on some other things. Or $120 to charter 12 items.
To each their own. Buy your $500 bag shakings. That might be your only purchase for the month. And me sef with all my $5 items..if I charter 100 of them, no be the same $500 wey we don spend? We just choose to spend our money in different ways.
So mai pipu, this is how I spend MY money---> I'm a huge fan of thrift stores, Ebay, outlet malls, consignment stores and sales racks. Just call me a frugal fashionista. :D... It's really not intentional, it just happens. LOL.
I've been to a wedding and my entire outfit cost < $30 and best believe I looked great!
I've been to more than a few parties wearing dresses that cost less than < $10. lol...
I'm all about finding good deals at fantabulous prices. So my people, turn not your nose at such stores o 'cos when you see me wearing my $6 BCBG shoes or my $15 Steve Maddens and I tell you I got it from a thrift store, you don't act too surprised.

How una weekend sha? Mine was filled with all sorts of bubbling activities in my < $20 baff ups. LOL! On the real, it was nice sha...went too quickly!
Just wanted to drop a quick one.


Friday, April 25, 2008

What's your Number?

So I was reading Afro babe's blog about the double standards when it comes to wimmens and sex. And I decided that I would create a some guidelines for some scandal-free chooking. (Thank me later)....

...Just because we all know that the number of men you've been with is such a huge deal to some of our Naija men.

And of course, I'm all about abstinence and blah blah but I realize say bodi no be firewood. :)

So mai ladies...especially my Naija ladies. You wanro chook die, but you get rep to protect? Follow these guidelines and everything go dey Ok. Hehehehehehe.....

1. Whatever you do, He MUST not be Nigerian (In terms of a Chook buddy, 1 night stand etc etc). So pretty much aim for Akata, Oyibo, Jamo..even Chinko sef go do the work.
2. If possible, target a man that doesn't live in your neck of the woods/Your hood/Your state/ Your country
3. Chook away!!!! Keep it safe though.
4. Assuming you finally meet the Naija man of your dreams (If that's what you're looking for), and he asks you how men you've been with...*Pay attention ladies* Let's say you've been with a total of 10 men. Out of these 10, 7 of them were know what to do. You simple maintain your angelic demeanour and tell him that you've been with 3 guys.
5. Invite me for your wedding. Ha Ha Ha!

Have a great weekend y'all.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Nigerians and Tact

That word must be missing from our dictionaries.
We tend to say the most off the wall things and while I understand that half of the time, it's really not intentional, I have lived in Obodo Oyibo for way too long to know that ok, we need to watch how we talk.
I find myself randomly browsing random people's picture comments on Facebook and I'll see comments like this---> 'You look like you've added o. Did you add?' (Add= Gain weight)...and I'm sitting there thinking no shit! If they look like they added, then spank me silly..they probably did!
Or---> 'Ahhh what happened to you? You've added o'..again, spank me silly!
Me sef, I've been subject to a few tactless comments. I remember when my aunt saw me last christmas and all she kept on harping about was 'how fat I've become'. Of course she must have been going from the days when I used to wear a size 3/4 in express pants and I upgraded to a size 5/6. Now that's fat?
Or the most recent one that inspired this post. I picked my mom up from the airport on Sarraday. She had flown in from Naija with a friend of hers that I haven't seen since me na, I tok say make I go greet the woman.

Me: Aunty Good evening. *Reaches out for a hug*
Aunty: Mgbeke! *Hugs me back*...You've added. You have pimples. What happened?

*Blank stare*
I really and truly did brush it off my shoulders. For one, after the initial irritation, I realized that she was just being her typical Naija self and she probably didn't mean anything by it. Secondly, I have no issues with my weight and oh yes! I am a fine girl with pimples so no shaking.

I was just randomly thinking about how we Naija people tend to comment on everything we see without thinking hence the reason for his post.

Aniwoos hHow una dey sha? How ya weekend?
I'm enjoying the mom's visit actually o. The woman too dey worry sometimes I just KNOW she was one of them evil seniors who used to send ju babes up and down but it's all good. That aside, it's been nice. She cooked one correct Oha soup ehnnn...chei mai pipu. Na to lick plate die be that one o!

I go hala!

Friday, April 18, 2008

A Shopaholic's prayer

Oh lord,
Please deliver me from the evil clutches of Urban Outfitters and Ebay. Lord, you know that I have no business exceeding my shopping budget. Father, with your grace I rebuke all enablers and the spirit of joblessness that leads me to these websites. I pray that by your grace, I will be strong and RESIST all forms of temptation.


Chei, na serious wahala be this o. Haba! God dey sha....

So what's crackackin' for the weekend? Moms is visiting from Naija so as I get off work now, na to enter a grocery store and organize some stuvvs. I need to cook for her too and Lord knows I aint in the mood. It's been a long week and all I wanna do is fall into bed and sleep.

Have a fabulous weekend mai pipu. I go catch una next week.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Just because you're DYING to know...

An Intro won't be proper without some random tid bits. *grins*

1. I know the numbers to my credit and debit cards offhand
2. I've worked 18 jobs (Currently on the 19th) in my 6 years and some months of being in the US of A.
3. I don't like to curse
4. I color code my closet
5. I own more than 60 pairs of shoes
6. I'm a professional bargain hunter
7. I'd rather clean than cook
8. I love washing dishes
9. I never carried my desk to school or slept on a mat growing up so I don't know why people think that I'm an Mgbeke :D
10. I haven't been to church in errrm how long now.. *racks brain*
11. I speak/understand very little of my native language
12. I'm quite fluent in Pidgin
13. I got my first professional pedicure 2 months ago
14. I want to visit at least 30 of the 51 states before I die. So far I've done about 15 or so...
15. I got my driver's license when I was 23

*Draws a blank*
Ah can't say I never told you nothing 'bout me.

Good Day Mai Pipu

Aunty Mgbeke don arrive o. Oya organize the Nkwobi and Odeku!
Heeeeh! Tell me why I dey here dey organize blog when I have work sitting in front of me. Priorities...priorities. *smh*

I dey come o..make I chook head for this kini. I just wan introduce maisef. :D