A friend of mine who recently moved to these parts pulled me aside at an event one day and said ‘What is up with the 80 women to 20 men ratio at you DMV folks events?’
To which I replied… ‘My sister, join the club!’
Join the club indeed. You see, she was right. That is the story in this DC/MD/VA area and its social scene. 1 million beautiful women, and not enough men to go around.I remember when I was young and fresh to the bubbling scene, I would go for parties with the anticipation of hopefully snagging a number or two. Can you blame me? I was coming from Naija where you could meet a guy ANYWHERE. Be it standing by the roadside buying oranges, or while on the back of an Okada with your cascading weave flying in the wind and a man would spy you from his car and tell his driver… ‘Follow that bike’. Yezzzur, you met men any and everywhere and parties/clubs were not the exception.So I came out to these parts and after doing my bubbling rounds, I came to the blunt realization that thangs were not the same here.
Meanwoos, I really do think that it might a DMV issue ‘cos in my travels around the US of A, I have observed that the ratio of male to females at social gatherings appears to be more balanced and the males seem to be more forthcoming.
But back to my DMV tori…
There are truly a bunch of factors working against a single woman in the DMV who hopes to snag one of these men.
1. Like I mentioned before, the female to male ratio is far from balanced. The men appear to have way too many options and do not seem to be ready to settle down. If you left your house thinking that your mini dress and weave was on point and you were going to be that chick at the social event, you step up in there and see about 30 other women with bangin’ minis and weaves. Womp womp!
2. Ok, a wise male once made a good point. He said ‘When there are so many other beautiful women in the club/party, what makes you think that YOU are going to make a special connection with any of these men’. Good point, point taken. So the single woman says lets me switch it up and go to more weddings. Sorry o! Nothing for you! The men at the weddings are either boo’ed up with their boos clutching them really tight knowing that there are many thirsty girls like you on the prowl OR the men are like the men that you saw at the parties. There are many beautiful women like you, you aint gonna stand out unless you make a one on one connection with them and in all honesty, how do you make a one on one connection with a random guy?
3. So the wedding and club/party thing aint working so you decided to try church. Still, nothing for you! It just aint gon’ work.
4. Now the most common factor linking all 3 points that I just listed above is: The DMV Naija community like most Naija communities gets small after much bubbling. The men that you see at the club/parties on Friday night are the same men who show up to the weddings on Saturday and then on Sunday, you see them in church praying for forgiveness for their sinful ways. It is the same darn men and no fresh new faces. Now, I’m not mad that it’s the same darn men but running into the same darn men at all events doesn’t really help matters now, does it?
So, my solution(s) to this issue is:
1. Maybe single ladies in the DMV need to go bubble in other states which could lead to them meeting dudes in other states, but dang it’s a recession and man pikin no wan spend an arm and a leg to see a bobo when they can be just a drive away.
2. Maybe single ladies in the DMV should branch out to other nations/expand their options.
3. Maybe single ladies in the DMV need to expand their social life beyond club/parties/weddings/church to other things like house parties (which are more intimate), artsy things, fundraising dinners etc etc. Although, I must point out that it was at a fundraising dinner that my newbie friend made that observation so ummm yeah!
4. Or maybe DMV dudes just need to step their game up and not let these burriful ladies pass them by. Life isn’t all about a big booty and a cute smile and that appears to be what is shacking these bobos so they no wan settle down with 1 female. I mean, I stay hearing dudes talking ‘bout they are looking for the right female blahblahblah. Ummm she might be right there in front of you, honey.
Or is this just not a DMV issue? Speak on it!