Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The scarcity of males in the DMV.

A friend of mine who recently moved to these parts pulled me aside at an event one day and said ‘What is up with the 80 women to 20 men ratio at you DMV folks events?’

To which I replied… ‘My sister, join the club!’

Join the club indeed. You see, she was right. That is the story in this DC/MD/VA area and its social scene. 1 million beautiful women, and not enough men to go around.I remember when I was young and fresh to the bubbling scene, I would go for parties with the anticipation of hopefully snagging a number or two. Can you blame me? I was coming from Naija where you could meet a guy ANYWHERE. Be it standing by the roadside buying oranges, or while on the back of an Okada with your cascading weave flying in the wind and a man would spy you from his car and tell his driver… ‘Follow that bike’. Yezzzur, you met men any and everywhere and parties/clubs were not the exception.So I came out to these parts and after doing my bubbling rounds, I came to the blunt realization that thangs were not the same here.

Meanwoos, I really do think that it might a DMV issue ‘cos in my travels around the US of A, I have observed that the ratio of male to females at social gatherings appears to be more balanced and the males seem to be more forthcoming.

But back to my DMV tori…
There are truly a bunch of factors working against a single woman in the DMV who hopes to snag one of these men.

1. Like I mentioned before, the female to male ratio is far from balanced. The men appear to have way too many options and do not seem to be ready to settle down. If you left your house thinking that your mini dress and weave was on point and you were going to be that chick at the social event, you step up in there and see about 30 other women with bangin’ minis and weaves. Womp womp!

2. Ok, a wise male once made a good point. He said ‘When there are so many other beautiful women in the club/party, what makes you think that YOU are going to make a special connection with any of these men’. Good point, point taken. So the single woman says lets me switch it up and go to more weddings. Sorry o! Nothing for you! The men at the weddings are either boo’ed up with their boos clutching them really tight knowing that there are many thirsty girls like you on the prowl OR the men are like the men that you saw at the parties. There are many beautiful women like you, you aint gonna stand out unless you make a one on one connection with them and in all honesty, how do you make a one on one connection with a random guy?

3. So the wedding and club/party thing aint working so you decided to try church. Still, nothing for you! It just aint gon’ work.

4. Now the most common factor linking all 3 points that I just listed above is: The DMV Naija community like most Naija communities gets small after much bubbling. The men that you see at the club/parties on Friday night are the same men who show up to the weddings on Saturday and then on Sunday, you see them in church praying for forgiveness for their sinful ways. It is the same darn men and no fresh new faces. Now, I’m not mad that it’s the same darn men but running into the same darn men at all events doesn’t really help matters now, does it?

So, my solution(s) to this issue is:
1. Maybe single ladies in the DMV need to go bubble in other states which could lead to them meeting dudes in other states, but dang it’s a recession and man pikin no wan spend an arm and a leg to see a bobo when they can be just a drive away.

2. Maybe single ladies in the DMV should branch out to other nations/expand their options.

3. Maybe single ladies in the DMV need to expand their social life beyond club/parties/weddings/church to other things like house parties (which are more intimate), artsy things, fundraising dinners etc etc. Although, I must point out that it was at a fundraising dinner that my newbie friend made that observation so ummm yeah!

4. Or maybe DMV dudes just need to step their game up and not let these burriful ladies pass them by. Life isn’t all about a big booty and a cute smile and that appears to be what is shacking these bobos so they no wan settle down with 1 female. I mean, I stay hearing dudes talking ‘bout they are looking for the right female blahblahblah. Ummm she might be right there in front of you, honey.

Or is this just not a DMV issue? Speak on it!

22 comments:

Senator said...

Nice post. I'm just wondering why there isn't much traffic in ur blog. The #4 problem ie meeting same men in party, wedding, church etc is pathetic. Is it that they r not good 4 enough for d girls or they ve failed to notice d girls?

ablackjamesbond said...

What can I do to help? Will movng to DMV help? lol.

Kemberly said...

Girl! You are so RIGHT! And can we add NY too! Matter of fact, there are NO MEN IN THE WHOLE OF AMERICA!!! Lol! I sound like a bitter woman, but it's true. Please, no one should expect to find any decent men in these parts, your best bet is to go home for Christmas and you're bound to find a correct dude then...

Original Mgbeke said...

@ Senator: Hmmm I think they have a lot of options so they aren't focusing on anyone in particular.

@ Jamesbond: You no go dey useful to us na, unless you are moving here with your brothers and cousins. :-p

@ Kem Kem: Word? The NY scene doesn't seem too horrible o. But ditto to scarcity of men in general, e bad o. God dey!

Sting said...

LOL @ Kem. I heard NY was bad too. Oh well.

Writefreak said...

Hmmm...wish i knew what to say! Know nothing about those parts! But even here in Naija, most ladies complain about good women...
I say may God give all our singles good brodas! Do i hear an Amen? lol

Ms Sula said...

I believe your solutions are all accurate.

I think the problem would not be confined to the DMV if one only frequents a certain group of people. I, for one, have a myriad of different types of friends so I get a chance to mingle with different crowds when I so desire. That could be the issue... broadening, widening one's horizons. You know what they say about doing the same thing and expecting the same results. :)

Or, you can just come visit me down here in Houston. There are plenty of dudes around these parts.

Also, don't downplay the power of a savvy matchmaking. Even if a match is not made, it's an opportunity to know a boy who has friends, brothers, cousins... etc... :)

All in all, good luck in the search darling!

Reverence said...

LOLL!! @ follow that bike...i literally choked on my drink.
well i hear the same thing about Dallas but seeing as i am not active in the naija club/wedding/church scene the few times i have been to each of those events, i be spying some eye candy but i dont know if they are old faces or not.

oh! one more for your list of problems, if you do fine a "good" broda turns out they are 20 or some other ridiculous age..whats up with that?

Original Mgbeke said...

@ Sting: How things dey on your end?

@Writefreak: Really? Seems like the ladies think that going home for christmas and coming back boo'ed up is what's popping.

@Ms. Sula: Houston ehn? Can't say that I'm a huge fan of your Houston folk but I trust you na. :-D
Next time I'm am coming to town I go notify you in advance. hehehehe

@ Reverence: Yeah I've heard the same about Dallas. I guess everyone has their complaints about their city. LOL @ 20 or some ridiculous age.

Third World Profashional said...

LOL! Y'all should move back to Nigeria. Choked with guys, both good and bad

SouLBoutiQue said...

You aren SOOOOO right that i am even laughing. To the point that women chase men in the DMV!! Something i will never ever do! But there are guys in DMV actually a lot of Nigerian guys that are not on the 'scene' but be weary everyone KNOWS everyone, lol. Broaden your social gatherings as well, it's not as bad as you think for Good women....if all else fails... come to jand or nigeria jare!

Anonymous said...

May the force be with you, ladies.

Temite said...

HA! Original Mgbeke, boo you always say what is on my mind men. I heart you. There are NO good MEN period. The good ones are either married or taken or in Nigeria (according to Kems and Thirdyie). I have not seen a good Nigerian man since independence and that was a long time ago.

ShonaVixen said...

well its the same over here in London too!!hmmm world-wide epidemic maybe?..lol...

MPB said...

Shoo my friend in jand says the same thing. Plus, when she was in naija she said the guys there weren't ready to settle down, that they were all trying to get their money hustle on or haul butt to yankee to make money. So they (naija chicks in naija) always looked at yankee or jand as the haven for "men options". So she decided to go to jand for her masters and alas the same problem abounds there as well.

Jarrai said...

All the good ones are taken!!! What are we going to do gurl???

Nkei said...

lol. oh if you're from The Bay, EXPAND your gender/sex options...

trying doing this where everyone doesn't like or steers clear of Black/African... or women in general....

Jarrai said...

Am out of privatisation...changed my url.

Hey girl hope u had a nice vals day xx

Akonuche said...

You sum up the DMV issue well. The way things are here, I would have better luck snagging a Naija man in China! At least the ratio of Naija man to Naija woman would be proportional. The options would be nil, but ya know.

Buttercup said...

the sad truth is that they r back home in naija where u left em..lol..

Zara said...

I"ll tell this story like OriginalMgbeke don't already know.

I came into the DMV on one weekend, happend to go 2 a naija event (party) instead of club love or whatever it's called now, and my boo snatched me up EARLY! lol.

But then again, it was his first time hanging w/ a naija crowd in a long time.

I'd definitely point out that you SLs or we SLs...(whatever, aint no ring on ma finger yet)shouldn't limit yourselves to "familiar crowds/events". How about take some girls with you and go to Babalus at the power plant in b-more instead of doing the 1hr jaunt to DC only 2 come back home lonelier and horny-er dan ever! you just might run into that "naija boy" who can't stand naija crowds.

n e wayz...males aint scarce in d DMV. Jamos dey, Kenyans dey, Oyinbo dey, Non-Hood Akata dey, take ya pick mgbekes!

Afrobabe said...

Omo this post seems to be a london issue oh...I have had men chase me on a bike in naija..I was a big girl..I was well sort after...sob sob...now they dont want any hard to get playing women...I need to relocate my as back to naija..