Thursday, May 28, 2009

Long Post Alert

What in the world is a 'Long post alert' and why are we now alerting people in advance and issuing disclaimers when we want to write epistles on our blogs?
Is it that people in this day and age have forgotten how to read? I mean, I be reading some posts and the corresponding comments and folk be in there talkin' bout 'Wow, this was such a long post'....shuoooo. And e be like say this thing is a new thing. I've been a blog stalker for a minute now and them older bloggers used to let it roll with the long posts and epistles and I never saw disclaimers like *Long post alert*, neither did I see commenters talkin' bout 'whoaaa. Long post, I will be back to read'

Reading is FUNdamental peoples. I mean, blogger is a place for folk to read and write so why should the so-called long posts scare you off? Why should we as bloggers be letting folk know in advance that the post finna be long? Is the essence of this to tell the ADHD peoples not to even bother reading the rest of the post once they see the disclaimer? Or are we apologizing in advance for a post that kept you reading for 1-2 extra minutes? I don't quite get it...
If you don't want to read and are on blogger to strictly look at pictures, then hop on over to the fashion blogs/gossip blogs/video bloggers and allow man pikin o jare.

That's why I like that troublemaker called Culture Cynic with her friggin' epistles and long tales. I mean ol' girl can raaaambleee but I actually loves it sha :-p. She sabi go on and on and she makes no apologies for it, those who wan read go read, and those who lose interest after the 2nd paragraph no go read. No disclaimers there...(save for one. Teeheehee)

Aniwoos na the matter wey I dey ponder on o, and I blogs it as I observes it. And abeg before pesin comes and accuses me of 'ranting', as I typeth I am listening to my Lily Allen album (Great album BTW) and sipping on my H2O. I just dey cool like a freezer, just dey chill like chili, dey maintain to sustain like a plantain. No be me again? Abeg o, nurrin do me!

I hail una!

41 comments:

Danny Bagucci said...

Noted! I shall henceforth desist from alerting ppl of the long-ish nature of the suceeding post!

Reverence said...

LMAO! only you!
oh wow i am first on your blog wohoo!!

Reverence said...

CRAP! i guess not. oya come on gmail naah *insert sad face*

scribble,me.free said...

wow..that was such a long post!

lol, i keed.

chayoma said...

Now i wan eat plantain...lol
From now onwards ( that one get meaning?) i will write as fate leadeth, no long post announcements...nada!

leggy said...

oh..God...very long post,be back to read...lol

QMoney said...

funny enuf,i rushed here cos i saw d *long post* alert.
i like when i see allerts like that cos it assures me i will be reading a proper post not all these lines or memes that can get tiring...

JJ said...

LOL...i hear you!!! Help me tell them oh. I believe this is the 1st time i'm commenting on your blog and just like QMoney, i raced here just to read your long post. Wetin happen??
Btw, love, love your blog.

CultureCynic said...

Mgbeke wetin i come do you this elly mo mo nah.... haba free me ooo..me sef i fit rammbleeeeee...u sef nko....did u not graduate with a Rambling and Random degree, why r u trying to underplay ur influence...lol. dudeeeeeeeeeeeee u r the razzziest pesin ever, original mgbeke gon gon...as in...ur own is another level...maintaining like plantain...ODE! LMAO. ok u knooooooow the one that kills me...when ppl do the "firrrrrrrrrrrrrrst" thing and NEVER actually commment.....i mean DAMN it is all good to firssssssssssssst but if thats the only thing u r gonna say .....go and park ur car elsewhere say on a marathon track, where coming firssssssssst am sure means something.....

ppl r just straight up lazy this days no be small. BUT u kno what is even funnier...that even after u inform someone that a long post is ahead they will now come and tell u in the comments "wow what a long post"....

anyway good observation as per usual, me i dey sef...allergies is playing ruffian footbal wit my sinus....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this fucking countryhas fucked up my immune system finish...

but as per usual, i had to come on here and counter ur entry.

STOP PICKING on innocent bystanders tho....it is not FAIR :)

wit that said...wetin even happen....this post was not even LONG....dont be slackking jo.....ooooooo.

wit that said why is this post soooooo damn short

UnderCover07 said...

Dats true o...ok I no go dey put long post alert again, afterall na me get my blog abi?

LWKM for ur outro..lol

OPTIMISTIC_alyzzz said...

TRUE TALK as from today i desist form using the statement long post alert, if u dont want to read then f#$@ off.

Nice Anon said...

I don tok am. Cynic na crase girl! She said park your car or go run a marathon. Kai! See yabbing!

Mgbafo m: I no come understand wetin you mean ooh. Na style you dey take yab pipo for hia abi? LOL
This post no come long too..lol

I guess people have gotten tired of reading long posts or "somfink" LOL
Make una leave me alone this early mor mor.

Tay-mee said...

this ur name sha jus fits u..ahan..'dey chill like chilli'..lol anyway now that u mention it i'll refrain from writing that jus so i dnt go nd vex a sisturr!

kmplx said...

LMAO@ "dey maintain to sustain like a plantain"
too truth.

Beulah! said...

nurrin do u o jare my sister!...carry go

mizchif said...

Crazy woman! maintain, sustain, plantain, only u!!!

Oh and did i tell u that i found 3 Harry Potter books in one of dem charity shops? But they were not hard back tho.

juiceegal said...

Why is every1 now saying that now that original mgbeke has mentioned it they would stop doing it,please everyone to their own,if u feel like alerting people that ur post is gonna be extra long then do so,she is only stating her own opinions,if u have valid reasons to do otherwise then u all dnt necessarily have 2 agree with her.
Funny enough i never do the long post alert thing,i love to read long ass posts,i love culture cynic cuz of her long comments,but some pple prefer when things are kept short hence the long post alert is usually meant for those kind of pple,the funny thing is that the alert dsnt stop most pple from readin still.
@ culture cynic:lol at pple that shout first without actually commentin on the main post.

naijagirl said...

hahaha, you no well.
I couldnt help but imagine you or any AA reading the first two lines from second paragraph. that cracked me up some more.

and yes the disclaimers and long post alert are kept there for those reasons you mentioned....mschew!!!

@CC..lol, see long post alert and still comment post is long...good one

justdoyin said...

lol...that was good...n I see u have already influenced some bloggers to stop using the long post alert...food 4 thot...

cool like a freezer? chill like chili? maintain to sustain like a plantain? Original M!

faB!! said...

looool!! I love ur rhyming last line.
And most times, when I see the "Long Post Alert", the post isn't even altogether long.
And I wonder why the alert?? Abi 'long post' dey electrocute some people or what?? I wonder oooh.....

Ms Sula said...

Speak that truth, god sis!!

I don't even get it. Why are on blogger if you don't want to read? And the blogosphere is big enough to cater to everybody's fancy. You don't want to read, abeg, don't! Telling people that a post is too long is rude IMHO... but then again, it is what it is.

Dead@"maintain to sustain like a plantain"... or is it the other way around? Hilarious!

Sting said...

I tire o! True talk, my sister.

Repressed One said...

lol...i wondered about that too the first few times i saw it...last last if it's too long and i don't feel like reading it then shebi na to just x out and come back at a later time? Ah well, to each its own...

Nurrin do you my dear mgbeks...nurrin do you!!

SouLBoutiQue said...

This is sooo true. Everyone has been alerting about long post lately. Me I write what i like!
Ag
ps. I can't wait to be back in yankeers. Memorial Weekend i heard was bananas but I will just enjoy Jand for now....make sure you lot save some fun for me!!

BSNC said...

lol you always make me laugh this babe. I no mind long post o, as long as it is interesting.

Nothing do you at all, you too much o. na me hail you pass jare ;)

Funms-the rebirth said...

gosh, thats so long...ill come back to read...........hehehehehe

lol....... onlu u can present such a case...i agree with u jare.....

RocNaija said...

But you know Roc is gonna disagree with your analysis right? Just cause I'm renegade like that.. Lol. Plus I no sabi front.
The average internet user's attention span is little. On average you'd spend 3 to 4 mins on a new blog, if nothing catches your attention, you don x am sharp sharp.
I'll read a huge book any day, but I'm not a fan of long posts. I wouldn't think that'll define me as lazy. I just don't bond with my laptop screen that much.
If I see a long post alert, chances are that i'll probably save it on my phone and read it on the tube or something. That's why I'm never first on certain blogs, always a day late. However some bloggers write some real boring long ass posts.. Abegi! No be becos of them I buy laptop.

Average post on my blog is 440 words. That's like half a story in Hints or True Love magazine. :D
The day I write one with 1,500 words, I'll write 'long post alert' in caps, italics, bold and even red sef.
Or I'll just cut it into three and do part 1, part 2 & 3, nollywood style. :D

Original Mgbeke said...

DB: I shall be watching. LOL, J/K...I mean to each his own sha I just dey wonder.

Revs: You know how I does it na. :D

Scribs: LMAO. I hope you will be back to read.

Chayoma: e reach to think am shaa. I hear that!

Leggy: Have you come back yet? LOLLL

Qmoney: Yes o, I do enjoy reading long yarniz.

JJ: LOLLLL, no long tori today o. Thank you so much, I go enter yours in a bit.

CC my babe: You don come again! Abeg me and you no go the same school o, no try group me in your katigori *inserts halo*
You know say I be the one and only Mgbeks na. I dey maintain like a serious fried plantain. My honey, PREACH IT! Make dem go park their moto somewia else abeg. Dey yarn 'FIRSSST' dey go...shuoooo. Wasting valuable comment space, girl you spokes the truth.
Or redundantly agreeing that the post was long. Like Duhhh.

You funny o jare! No wahala, my own epistle dey come, but in the meantime hold it down for us o. *muah*

Undercover07: Food for thought my sister. Make laughter no kill you ooo. :D

Optimistic: Join the movement! :D...if dem no wan read, make them waka.

Nicey'm: I dey yarn say why peeps dey issue long post alert. You dey mind that CC? I said babe is a RIOT! Yeah I guess with reading textbooks and reports at works, peeps no wan come blogger dey read extra steez.
afi somfink? Awon Britigerian :D

Taymee: LOL, true talk e no dey vex me sha. I really was just curious.

Kmplx: Yes naaa, like a nice ripe yellow plantain too. :D

Beulah: At all, at all. You sef, when you go update?

Mizchif: Na lie! Chei that sounds sooo tempting but paperback shaaa. I hope you thought of me...hehehe. I actually found another one so that's 2 down, 5 to go.

Original Mgbeke said...

Juiceegal: word up! Folk don't have to agree, the thing no vex me...na observations I dey drop. But yup, I enjoy reading long posts as well and I do be checking for CC's comment in people's boxes. LOL.

Naijagirl: What is an AA? Hahahaha my dear, na so we see am o. Make people dey disclaim dey go.

JustDoyin: I'm glad I can offer food for thought ooo. My sister, na me na...Original, the one and only. Always imitated but never duplicated. Hahahahaha

FaB: LMAO @ electrocution. Na wetin I yarn o, the post won't even be that long. Blogger sef!

God Sis: Yes I find it annoying when people comment and tell me that my post was too long. Dem force you to read? Like FaB said, maybe the long posts electrocute them. Mchewwww.
How are youuuu? :-)

Sting: Na so we see am for real!

Repressed: That's what I do too, if I no get time at that mo I will surely be back later to read the post, as opposed to complaining about the length. If I no wan read, I go jejely X out na. No be by force o.

Original Mgbeke said...

Ag: It's all about writing what you like and as you see it, ultimately in blogsville it seems we start to cater to readers and forget about what we like. My dear, mem day was truly bananas. I can imagine that July 4th will be off the hook too. Come back ooo, we go remain small gbedu for you. :-D

BSNC: It's always nice to see folk who don't mind the occasional long yarniz. How you dey my sister? I don miss you for this end o.

RocNaija: That has got to be the longest comment I've ever seen make on blogsville...you should have labelled it as 'Long comment alert'... LMAO. But abeg this guy, you no go kill me sha. Afri renegade na? Ninja nko? :-D
And lmaooo @ no be because of some peeps wey you buy laptop. You'se a funny one.

But my dia feel free to disagree because I welcome all comments, concerns and insults. They sho don't have to agree with my views. But gotcha! I guess reading a book is different from spending time in front of a computer screen.
Ah well it is what it is, your so-called long posts don't even be long but that is just me and someone else might beg to differ. LOL @ your Nollywood style...Bros you be laik those disappearing producers, go dey bring part 3 in 2009 to a movie that came out in 2003...you don owe us plenty part 3 now o!

webround said...

in today's world, everything has to be instantaenous. check it out
- there's a church called 'Jesus of Ozigbo Ozigbo'
- we have 'IM - instant messenger'
- there's twitter
- there's 'drive through restaurant'
- when people subscribe to mailing lists, they want a daily digest with only the summary included

so tis a natural thing that short blog posts will be added to the list. and as per say bloggers are trying to practice good customer service, they alert u ahead of time that this post long oh..-maybe u want to go put ur dinner first in the microwave b4 settling down to read..hehehhe

CultureCynic said...

EYEROLLLLLLLLLLLLLL and Hisssssss....who asked you kwanu? the fact that u now want to come and rub it in my face is low really low.....





HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS EYEROLLLLLLLLLLL singing.... eh i don't care...ahhhh i don't care, i dont care emele umu mmadu naha amaghi kwagi ihe....( dont ask me my grammy used to sing this alot thought it was appropo)...... BUT AM STILLLLLLLLL eyerolling and hissssssssssssing....


u berra not even think of putting any of the pics up, becuz i will use my sideeye to make them disappear...

RocNaija said...

Lmao @ "part 3 in 2009 to a movie that came out in 2003"

E be like say you no notice say Rambo na grandpapa when e do part three..

CultureCynic said...

DO IT DO IT DO IT!!! i want a full body pic too none of that "laying merchandize on the bed" thing.....Full face and err thang!!! and no hanging merchandize in the closet, i need the person wearing it to show on the picsure....gorrrrit>>??? DO IT DO IT!!!!!

CultureCynic said...

WOW do i have a solution to this problem....tot u will never come at the cross roads....ok since u want to SHOW me right, how about u DHL it to me right...and i rock it right and then maybe i will even credit u and say "gifted" right...and then voila seeeeeeeeeee. yes i kno i am obviously a great problem solver and dilema solver...u r welcome.!lol

CultureCynic said...

thinking is not enuff love, WE must do and apply....

so apply urself ...ya i feel weird cuz i didn't go to VV on MOnday as per my routine....gorra make up for it tho, cuz i simply cannot have u showing me up....nothing o




p.s and YES ze Gaga is tres bon ja??
she is part of my daily regimine..she is my new ABBA, well not exactly ABBA is the new ABBA...but i adore her!!!!!!!lol

in my head said...

I like the emphasis on reading being FUNdamental.

Meanwhile, I sent you a few e-mails. I need an urgent answer on the last one pleeeeeaaaasssseee!

Third World Profashional said...

this babe, wallahi u dey crase!

bob-ij said...

lol @ Fooling us with this title. I know what you mean though. I always try not to make my posts long so people breeze in and out!!... I guess that's bad. :=[
x!

olu said...

Odikwa very OBSERVANT! Haba! I'm guilty of frowning at VERY long posts even before I read. But lets face it some bloggers are filled with crap, they just keep going on and on... I know. It's their blog and all that... but blogging is competitive these days and everyone wants to keep their "customers" - or so it seems. I don't blog, so I fit criticise. LOL!

Original Mgbeke said...

Webround: LOLLL! That is funny, which one be church of Ozigbo zigbo again. But yeah if they gotta microwave dinner first and need a heads up, then who am I to talk? lol.

Culture: Charraps thia! awoof pikin. Aniwoos we don discuss this marra, we fit do trade by barter. :-D

Roc: Chei so na to wait for when you obtain grey hair be that wan!

Inmyhead: Yess ooo. My sister I replied, so sorry for the delay.

3rd word prof: I salute you ooo. How the 3rd world dey treat you nau?

Bob-ij: Whichever suits you though. I was just observing from my end, but if that's what's good for you then it is what is good for you. How were finals and all? :-)

Olu: LOLLLL @ customers. No be small thing o, reading in FUN o jare but I feel you on when some people go on and on, na to X out be that. I still dey wait for when you will start a blog o.