Sunday, March 11, 2012

Random Ramblings...

Taynement made me do this...

As much as it seems that everybody and their mama is getting engaged and married, I still feel that there are a LOT of single folks out here on these streets with no significant others in sight.

Speaking of marriage, maaan people dey code sha. I remember back in May 2011 when my family friend stopped by my spot, and we were talking about how it’s a tough life out on the single streets. As I dey yarn, babe dey follow me yarn. I even asked…"How far na? Any better?" and she was like “Mann, nothing dey o”. Fastforward to November, and my mom announced that this same family friend was planning her traditional AND white wedding for December 2011 with a guy that she had been with for 4 years. I was like hia! O_o… Omo, these days you can’t assume that everybody that is following you to yarn singility really is single. Babes and Goiz are coding things hard. I mean, I understand not deliberately wanting to announce your status to the world, but if folks flat out ask if you’re seeing someone why code? Ah wellz, to each his and her own.

There was another instance of coding where another babe who we know coded her relationship die! Then on her wedding day, she uploaded traditional pictures as her BB DP and it was like “Woahh, this chick was even seeing someone in the first place?”. Apparently, even her close friends were kinda sorta in the dark. LOL.

You ever notice all those folks on Twitter who tweet things like “Chilling in the VIP with @xxx and @yyy”, "Sushi and champagne with my girlies" or “Relaxing at home with a glass of Pinot Noir and some scented candles” etc etc. Those tweets actually crack me up. How come no one ever tweets about the regular azz events in their lives like “Sipping on some fanta and watching TV”, "meatpie and "mineralsss" at Mr. Biggs" or “now sitting at home reading a book” but must tweet all the so-called "posh" events like “Enjoying some Thai food and white wine with my BFFs”. Hilarity.

I think that “old age” has finally caught up with me. For the last couple of months, this is how I spend a typical weekend: Get home on Friday after work, park my car and not move it until I go to church on Sunday (only recently), or work on Monday morning. I think the last time I actually dressed up for an event was in October. Ah ah, this kent be life na. I tried to blame it on winter hibernation, but apparently I wasn’t that much better in the summer either. I’m sure my girl is tired of inviting me to things. She sends me invites every week and I tell her that I’m studying (which I am supposed to be doing actually :-/). Welp! Gats do better this summer sha. And, ah well, if nothing else I can continue to look fondly on the summer of ’09 (my most fun-filled and the bestest summer so far) and ride on those memories :-D

Yours truly is a product junkie. I have phases where I’m into different things. At some point, it was pashmina scarves. Then it was berets and hats. Then it was sunglasses. Lately, it’s been beauty products and lipstick!!! (Ulta is the devil y’alll)… I don’t know when I turned into some sort of mini-lipstick junkie but I have entirely way too many tubes. Which is fine, ‘cos I’m that girl who will wear bright lipstick to run an errand. Lipstick must not waste.

Look, if you ever have to rent a car…bone up and pay that extra $50 or whatever for rental insurance. I rented a car over Thanksgiving break, and was feeling cheap so decided not to get rental insurance ‘cos I have personal auto insurance. Long story short, I hit a rock while parking, and Geico only shelled out like $250 to cover the claim and I had to pay over $600 in out of pocket expenses. E dey pain. Learn from me y’all.

Like I said, you have Taynement to thank for this post…and the post before this actually. That is one friend who actually tries to hold me accountable. For instance, in my soon to be 29 years on planet Earth, I had never been to the Gynecologist and for as long as I’ve known Taynement, she’s been harassing me to go to the Gyno. Soooo after a recent threat *gulp*, I decided to cart myself to the gyno. Trust me, it was the most uncomfortable/awkward 5 minutes of my life yooo but heyy, I did it! So, let me harass some of you too…go to the gyno (if you haven't) !!! LOL. Might I add that after the Gyno, I was feeling extra motivated and subsequently scheduled appointments with the dentist and an physician for an annual checkup…so I’ve done my good healthy thing for 2012, to be continued annually from this point on. Amin!

On that note, I get the impression that most people in Naija don’t do the regular medical and dental checkups. Like here in Yanks, they preach to you… “Go for your annual gyno checkup”, “get your annual physical”, “get your teeth cleaned every X months”…but in Naija, it seems that folks just be smooth sailing and living seemingly long and healthy lives. It is only by the grace of God o jare.

I should do a post on the things I've learned off Twitter, but here's one of them from Nigerian Twitter: Everything tastes like struggle. Every single thing. Beans? "Such struggle food"... Jollof rice? "Struggleeee", Garri? "Nah men...that's all about the struggle". I'm waiting for the day that someone will say that filet mignon tastes like struggle. It is coming soon.

And that is all she said...

Till we relate again. Peace, Love, and Hair Grease.


Taynement said...

Yay! New post!

*raises hand* single folk with no significant other in sight over heeere.

LMAO @ coders. I can't even talk because I strongly suspect that I will be one of those people'll be saying "she was dating??"

Hahaha @ flossing tweets. Smokes and mirrors babe, smokes and mirrors. Everyone wants you to jealous them and their fabulous lives.

I am working on sprucing up my weekends when I am not working. Too bad we arent in the same state. Your ass will be out by force. You know I am a bully ;p

sorry about the insurance o, that sucks.

Yay to healthy living

LOL@struggle. everything is also famzing.

Till the next harassment. Have a lovely week!

doll said...

WOW! why would she lie and pretend, that just wierd.

Yay! for the checkups. i need to schedule one myself.

Sorry about the car.

And madam spice up your life. this is the time to enjoy yourself o!, go out, hang out with yourself, or the girls, or toasters, whoever.

WHen you marry and have kids, you would be locked up at home and all, so ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY

Third World Profashional said...

New post, thank Christ. Lol'd at everything on here.

I won't exactly say I'm one of the "coders" because my friends and family know whoever I'm in a relationship with. I just feel like the wider world (Facebook, Twitter, my blog) , don't need to be involved. I'm that girl that's never put "in a relationship" on FB but if you ask me straight up I'll tell you. I feel like my life, because of my blog is such an open book that some things just need to be kept private.

Thank God you reminded me, I really need to make a dental appointment.

Ginger said...

Since i registered at he health clinic 18 months I've been getting all dem mails about cervical cancer/chlamydia etc etc check ups. I haven't gone for one. Oyibo over-technology dey fear me.

Pele about the 600. I feel ur pain.

As for coders, I didnt get to know the name of my gf/room mate's boyfriend until wedding IVs arrived. Her refrain 'na the one wey you see for altar na im be the man' until then, He/they shall remain nameless.

Toinlicious said...

I'm on the annual check-up thing so yay me!

*another member of the singility club raises hand*

That ur frnd of 4yrs dating en O_O

lol@Ginger's 'na the one wey you see for altar na im be the man' until then, He/they shall remain nameless. Na serious issue

P.S: tot u were gona end the post with "Peace, Love, and tubes of lipstick" lol

mizchif said...

LMAO @ this entire post! Stop subbing ME!!! lol.

I'm definitely going to be one of those people in a r/ship underG i mean i always say that the day the world will know my husband is when time comes to share IV. In this day and age wey pipu dey change mind everyday make i no go do announcement then one nwoke wee change his mind, i know how many pipu i don laff before.

I need to come and help you get rid of some of your hair and body products f'real. God help you if i'm still around by the summer. Out we must go by force!

Lemme go sip on my moscato.

You'd better do a post on things you learnt from twirra, can't wait.

HoneyDame said...

NAwa ! Me i still dont get the parole of coders sha! Plead the fifth if you wish but there is not need to tell a lie...Me I sha kent understand the rationale behind it sha! I can barely stand FB so me I kukuma picked my battle and stayed off twirra... I dont even now how to use the thing sef.

H said...

errr....y the coding?
I don't get it. I get if there's a guy u're talkin to but he's not labelling ur relationship yet or sumn like that but when u're dating someone, esp quarter to marry, y lie?

I need to get on that annual check-up p tho...I've just been lazy. Did it when I was in college but slacked since then.

Struggle? I'm on twitter daily and I haven't come across that yet.

Thanks for the insurance tid-bit. Funny how now that u've said something, I'd actually get insurance...and pele btw. I wud hate to have paid that

LohiO said...

First thanks to Tayne for bringing you back here and reminding you and therefore us to do our annual checkups. :D

LOL @ Coders. Coder over here. shuu. Well my close friends and family know when I am dating but I don't think I have to share with anyone else. Like Mizchif said, I do not want to be laughed at yo. Reminds me of this one babe on twitter that last yr vals, she was being so extra with her boo coz she was all loved up. This yr on vals day she didn't tweet, people where calling her out saying eya I guess the breakup is so bad she cant even tweet! Tufiakwa I cant be someones entertainment..:D

Your weekend sounds like my weekend. if I am not catering or doing an event. My ass is at home. on my bed for that matter till Sunday for church, after church, eat sleep till Monday. Work.

lol twitter-naija like I said the other day, is toooo much for me!! But brown rice is struggle tho!

Myne Whitman said...

To your coding friend, I wanted to say maybe it took her by surprise too, but 4 years sha...

my first med physical was when a got a bank job and had to get insurance and stuff. never did a dental till Atala put his foot down here in the US. It's not a good look, I agree and that's why sometimes, seemingly youngs peeps just drop dead in naija from heart attack or stroke.

Hyperfashun said...

Yay! New post! Lol at your coded friend. Nna eh why she come dey follow you yarn abt singlity. babes!

i used to be that girl that was always visiting the hosp for one test/checkup or the other. Was kind of strange to pple around me cos its not really a culture over here esp if you're young. Anyway since i always came out clean i jst figured oh well i guess i'm healthy and started slacking.

but now i'm thinking i shld prolly go see my gyno. make sure those ovaries are intact. lol

i always love your posts no matter how random. xoxo

PS- Bia remove this word verification thing biko. who is a robot? lol

jubekee said...

yaaay on the post.
on coding,its very necesssay oh, please code yours too when the time comes..only friends and immediate family till they bring wine to house at least. i cant explain it but theres this thing about been anxious and share things with people too soon it kind of falls apart, so i understand when people do that.
please go out oh, can't imagine been young and single and not going out, even if its just to go and look at people and laugh.

MPB said...

Yay post! i am like 3rd world professional where I don't announce my relationship on fbk, keep it to the minimum on blogville too, but in person, if asked questions by my friends...I yarn. I loled at the formers. I should put up a status update of how i just finished devouring this succulent mango. Glad you got your wellness checks...mucho important.

aeedeeaee said...

i love this girl lool

in three days, four of my friend have born pikin. i just cant shout.

Yay to healthy living yo! I recently starting working out again. Maybe i'll be doing general look-up sessions soon...we gats know whats happening inside.


Anonymous said...

Nice Anon: LOL! This entire post na the struggle jare. He heee
Do that post quick lemme come up in here. I don observe plenty things.. make I join mouth
*sipping on some Izzy whilst I wait for the post*

BBB said...

covers face in shame
i really need to scheduele an appointment with the doc, gyno and dentist
my dad has been drumming it in my ears forever now
i havent been to a dentist in lie 7years, doctor nko? maybe 10years, gyno NEVRE
its so bad
especially in this age
id do better

Bombchell said...


so true!!!! as in when ppl get engaged ur like *_* WHOA u have a gf, infact all these guys you dont know they have babes till someone tags their lying ass on fb with wedding picture, office sends emails congratulating them, etc etc.

@ dr's appt, year abroad they preach it but a lot dont practice, cuz of no insurance, dunno bout canada and jand sha.

Heeeeeywaaaaaay adaku's in a relationship! ok thats not coding, but coding online. like if tomorrow everyone on my blog hears im getting married, they'll *side eye* the heck outta me lol

Devil's Spawn said...

Dude, it's about damn time jare. and i feel u on everything...
never been to a gyno...check
haven't had a physical in 12yrs..check
dentist...only cause cavities have been showing me pepper.
under g relationship having friends....well i don't have friends so I can't really relate.
I'm glad you posted though...I don dey miss u long time

One3snapshot! said...

Lol. Funny ass post. Girl don't be mad at the coding things ohhhh, so many reasons why people do that. It could be because of all the different things the comments here are saying but a lot of times folks be lying and stuff be coming up randomly because of 1. Dem tiff someone's man/woman, or dem was underg seeing someone on the side, or they just met and quickly trying to marry. Some shady sturvs yo! Lol so yah don't take it personal shit I got FAMILY who straight up code to me and na when I see IV and or wedding pic I know the person name. P.s I be thinking u coding tho all this singlity yarns lemme find out now that in dec ya carrying wine in ur village. Its all good though. Oh u better get ur ass up and out and live it up for us lame-os so u can give us gist. -n

Enkay said...

The entire post made me laugh.

Hmm the coding seems needless to close friends and family 'cos they're supposed to remain true to you no matter what abi?

Medical Check-up? When you're not ill? Ah, that's a culture we need to develop. I have been postponing my dentals for a long time but I am finally going to get it done. Thanks!

salt lake city graphic artist said...

Singles became more increasing aware of their status because of "The Bridget Jones's Diary movie. LOL.

Mwajim Al said...

LOL, let me help you:
"Everything tastes like a struggle"
"Filet Mignon?"
"King of struggles"

About the single thingy, yup, really, to each his/her own.

You've scared me afresh about getting a medical check-up and seeing the dentist... now I won't stop thinking about it :(

Paris Hilton perfume said...

I don't get it why people in their 30's are so obsessed in tying a knot? Is desperation can be attributed to it? I hope not!

Najite said...

i just love your blog. end of discussion

truealmondjoy said...

Mgbekes apparently this coding of relationships must be a nigerian thing...a childhood friend from festac didn't tell anyone she was getting married till a week before. Our guess is that she didn't want anyone to interfere in her union.