Sunday, August 23, 2009

In my rant of the day...

Contrary to the whole concept of being a tried and true 'Mgbeke', my speaking/understanding of the Igbo language truly does suck.
I grew up in Port Harcourt (obviously a non-Igbo speaking town), and within our household, my parents spoke English to us kiddies. Going off to a feddy school in the East, I had high hopes of picking up some Igbo but *ahem*, my school was filled with a whole bunch of Ajebo women from Lagos and such places, and it wasn't much Igbo speaking that was going on around those parts. It is what it is...
So it really does kill me when people make asinine statements such as 'How can you be proud of the fact that you can't speak your language' or 'Your parents didn't raise your right' or 'Wow, it's such a shame that you can't speak your language'. I mean, WHO BORN THE MAGA? Seriously, you don't even want to go there with me when it comes to whose parents raised them right 'cos If I decide to light into you and your entire household, na fight wey go start o.
To be honest, I'm not proud of the fact that I can't speak/understand much Igbo...and at the same time, I am not ashamed of it. It's a neutral feeling on my part but I would love to learn and currently have a (slacker) tutor. Ha, bless his heart... so it really elicts a WTF comment and absolutely gets my blood boiling when people just come at me with such blanket statements. Okay, so you think because your Igbo is top notch and mine isn't that you are more Igbo than I am? Motherchoker please!

E get this bobo on FaceBook wey recently updated his status talking about...'You call yourself Igbo, yet you can't speak your language. You are ignorant' and me being the defender of all non-Igbo speaking Igbo people that I am, made the mistake of trying to get him to see things from another perspective. *Ahem*...let's just say that it was a total waste of energy and at the end of it all, I really had to practice the whole taking a deep breath and woooosah-ing 'cos if my temper had gotten the best of me, Mark Zuckerberg for ban me from that Facebook. LMAO...
I mean seriously, such people get on my everloving last nerve.

Ahhh but I haven't always won the Mgbeke vs. Her temper battle. Once upon a time, there was a nice young man that I used to 'chit chat' with. One day, I met his sister and from the moment she met me and started blasting Igbo, I gave her the heads up...'I'm sorry, my Igbo isn't as top notch as yours'. Now you'd think that she would have digested the info and at least waited for me to leave before she started talking smack but no o! She kept on going on and on and on about it until I had absolutely had it UP to here and so I lit into her and let her have it. Long story short, at the end of it all...the man X'ed me from his 'chit chat' list and I earned some kind of reputation as 'that crazy bitch' among some of ze family members who had witnessed me finishing the dear lil sister. Mchewwwwww... I mean, this is how World war dey start o. Anyway, no long thing.

So yeah, when I meet a lot of Igbo folk and the topic of speaking Igbo and what not comes up, my guard is automatically up and I'm on defense mode. Get off your high horses my people, 'cos you can speak A and I can't speak it don't make you better than me, neither does it make you more Igbo than me and if you absolutely do not want to piss me off and make me say something that you don't want to hear, then cease and desist from making your mickifrickin' blanket statements. Bunch of Nincompoops!

It's all good sha, I still circle bi-lingual on forms...after all pidgin is a whole 'nother language on it's own and I'm pretty fluent at that one. :-D

56 comments:

iphyigbogurl said...

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!

iphyigbogurl said...

ITS A LIE!! I AM ACTUALLY FIRST?
LOL
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FIRST ON ANYONES BLOG.... *does happy dance*
ngwa lemmie go and read

iphyigbogurl said...

yea...its true...some people just don't understand that not everyone HAS to speak their language.
my friend complains about the same thing...people bashing her for not being able to speake her language (yoruba)
if i couldnt speak igbo and someone told me dat...na serious finishing i for give the person....
i feel u.

webround said...

one of the things i enjoy about u and Nice Anon's posts is the way both of you intersperse English with Igbo in your posts, that na correct Engli-Igbo as we dey call am ...

I think anybody saying 'your parents didn't raise you right' cos you can't speak your language is definitely going too far. I do know that some parents have different reasons for not teaching their kids the mother tongue. For example, my cousin told his popsi that he's not teaching his kids Igbo cos a child -raising book he read says kids are confused whilst learning 2 languages and so he wants his kid to concentrate and learn proper English.

But meanwhile, as I fit speak and read Igbo well (I can write too sef but not as good as reading and writing), ego ole ka i ga kwu make i be your personal tutor?

Ada said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ada said...

your own sef na nigerians. I was getting heat from the "deep" african american who called me white washed because I cant speak my language. best believe I gave it to him the way it should be given
.and speaking of language. which one is my language exactly since my parents speak two different languages.
arggggggggh..please where I come from, or what I speak does not define me.

webround said...

in btw - my cousin's popsi's reply to his son was - 'too much oyibo book can be dangerous. you speak both igbo and english. maybe the oyibo man is just plain lazy'..

i laughed at the man's response

Original Mgbeke said...

Iphy: There is a first time for errythang. LOL. Right, right...I mean folk need to hop off the high horses for real. Narnsense!

Webround: Nicey m beats me o. I dey go tinkili tinkili Engli-Igbo. LOL...
So errrm abeg make we discuss this tutoring, I go fedex egusi to you as payment. LMAO.
True, I have heard that some didn't teach 'cos they wanted their chilluns to learn 'proper' English and what have you.

In-law: Imagine! Levels dey ooo and peeps are not scared. Hissss, I trust that you have it to him well well. I guess technically, your language should be your papa's language? I don't know o!

uNWrItten* said...

lol awww its ok..
me sef i wouldnt have learnt igbo if i didnt have one crazy igbo teacher in naija that made all of us learn to read and write it..as in we had to write igbo essays!!..soo u know then living in lagos..had to learn yoruba too or helse all these market women will be abusing you and you'll be looking like mumu lol...i mean a lot of igbo youths cant speak the language..i wonder why but its not your fault...dont worry...wooo pidgin is alright jo!..norrin do u!!

Nice Anon said...

LOL@ who born the maga! Nne m no worry yasef about all that. Speaking Igbo doesn't make me better than you. Na condition make crayfish bend. That is to sey you dey rep Naija well well on every levels. Pora court babe like you. Nothing dey par! Btw you fit speak warri pidgin well? Their pidgin dey sweet for ear well well.

Gee said...

lol @ who born maga!
and big ups to PH cityyyyyyy!grew up dere too!

miss.fab said...

Lol @ Nincompoops... how I love that word!

I feel you on this topic though. I've frankly gotten tired of defending my inability to rap in Yoruba. Nice Anon is right jare... Na condition make crayfish bend. If anyone dare tells me my parents didn't raise me right... Ha! Maga! That will be war o

Trybes said...

Chai! This woman just dey baptise this space with a whole new set of english language that needs one checkin the dictionary o...HAHAHA...

Do your thing jare..people will always complain about somethin all the time, so do your thing and let whoever is gonna appreciate u accept you for who you are...chikena!

rayo said...

to be honest i never thot about it from that perspective...
lol @ bein labelled crazy bitch, u musta given it to her hot!

akaBagucci said...

Some mothers do have them... and some brothers do have them too......

LG said...

i cant speak ibo but i like d sound :-)

L-VII said...

Hello! I enjoyed reading this because I give my sisters hell about not being able to speak Yoruba, they understand it perfectly but to speak nko?

I can speak Yoruba, I was born in Eko, so I guess I did not have a choice, I also know some choice Igbo words, lol.

It is a source of pride for me that I can speak my mother tongue as I believe it really does enhance one's identity.

To mention how your parents raised is really out of order, I never would have guessed that you could not speak Igbo, never have I come a across a more Naija-centric blog. Your use of pidgin and a little Igbo always makes me smile. I have been learning pidgin from your blog.

I must confess that I think it is a problem that is only getting worse, Nigerian people that cannot speak their mother tongue, I am tryna see how I can help with that, but is because it is an issue that matters to me...

Sugarbelly has a blog that teaches Igbo, so you might want to check that out.

Good post as usual, has inspired me.

L.

L-VII said...

Here is the link;

http://ndebe.blogspot.com/

L.

Enkay said...

The way you often mix igbo into some of your posts just gave me the impression that you spoke it well.

True, me sef I am concerned at my own poor Igbo speaking skills. My mother has tried everything!
That's why I take it personal too if you blame my parents for this 'defeciency'.

If there was a language school that taught igbo, mehn, I won't mind o!

FFF said...

my sister's kids don't speak Igbo (she & her husband rborn, bread & buttered Igbo pple oh) & that pisses my dad off. Personally, i can't understand y her kids don't. it's funny dat she'd speak igbo with whoever understand d language, but d next second she is switching to English to address the children. I doubt if it's something she set out to do though. It's just d way things turned out. But, am certainly going to take extra measures to get my kids speaking Igbo. One of d reason i told myself i wasn't going to marry outside my tribe was cos i wanted to be able to speak d same language with my husband (am personally language-challenged & don't see myself being able to grasp another's language). In our home, it's going to be 'strictly igbo-speaking zone' with family members. At school or anywhere else, English rules. But at home, it's Igbo!


Sometimes, i feel Igbo folks who don't speak Igbo may be missing out somehow. am saying this, cos in a multi-lingual enviroment, one sometimes wants to separate themselves. & language is d easiest way to go. u can carry out a private conversation without 'the other people' understanding a word. That's fun in that!

Although, i don't subscribe to anyone ribbing another's family values & training just based on weda a person can speak igbo or not. I mean, daz mrga silly.

FFF said...

LG, u can't speak Igbo!!!!!!!!!!!! U could have fooled me!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Sirius~ said...

Can't speak Igbo either

Grew up in Owerri!

My mum's edo though- so she couldn't speak it to us.(not excuse enough apparently)

I understand the language, but when I try to speak...shis! sounds funny mhen, so i don't bother, only if I have too.

So, we are many!

Norrin do you!

Reverence said...

hehe! i love your rants... but please o tell them. or what about the ones that get mad cos you understand yoruba more than ibo? errr i lived in lagos for 18 yrs .. i ahave been to teh east myabe like 5 times in my entire life? what else will i understand?

P.S i think i may know the facebook dude. if its one of our mutual friends on fb, cos me and him went down that road too sef.

CultureCynic said...

LMAOOOOO...this is not a rant jo, this is a prewarning for anybody who wants to come at u wrong on some cant speak igbo bizness....i want to be ther next time when ish goes down...just so i can interpret where necessary....free of charge!!!

chayoma said...

they way u do the english igbo combo, i actually thot u were igbo grammer teacher!

BSNC said...

lol i actully thought you speake ibo fluently, tell me something...lol

to think i was about to take ibo lessons from you and nice anon

Odunayo said...

I'm just like you...I know all the basics of Yoruba as far as speaking and hearing it but on a fluent level, I'm not that great. And I get same headache from people for it. I got into it with this older man who accused me of lying about the fact that I didn't hear/speak Yoruba fluently...he called me a liar! Can you imagine? He could not understand why so he asked, 'are ashamed of where you come from?' I really got into it with him that day. And I was labeled as a liar just off of this whole issue of me not being able to fluently speak and hear my language.

I've been learning though cause I want to teach my kids but not so that they won't be dealing with all this mess but just cause I feel it's for them to know.

But I feel people need to get over themselves. *hisssss*

mochahourglass said...

Upon the absolute rancidity of my Igbo speaking and understanding capabilities...I still claim 'am ooo. Hmmmm. I'm bilingual..by force..by force.

Good thing you gave it to that your ex-guy friend's little sister. I can just envision her hard, rude, village, IGBO, face. Was she gnawing on a piece of chewing stick as she was criticizing you? Were her nostrils flaring in the dispute? Was there incessant shelling on her part? There's absolutely NO way on earth that this girl was fine. LOL. Lemme stop. LOL. LOL. LOL. But seriously, people that behave this way prove that THEY, in fact, don't have proper home training and weren’t raised properly. Village monster.

Anonymous said...

Gurrrrrrrrl!!! cool e temper. I feel u tho, I'm Bini and I don't speak it fluently either cos I wasn't raised speaking it but I dey learn small small cos I too would love for my children to be able to speak.
On the flip side I'm totally fluent in pidgin English and I understand yoruba to some extent just never like speaking it...
Any keep doing you o!

Anonymous said...

My rant of last weekend

i am sorry buy i gotta ask. y do guys expect u to kiss em even wen their breath is rocking? as in rotten egg kinda smell. like some guys never get it .. u rub ur nose, close it, turn away all clues possible still they doont get it. if you dont kiss em its a crime, or u dont show affection on d oda hand if u manage tto kiss wit d bad breath then they say 'u r not really into the kiss,' 'stop givig me a freakin lip rub' well maybe u should brush ur teeth or even use mouthwash more often. as in one time i even tried giving dis sucka gum nd he was like "i hate gum" mehn afta a while i couldnt take it anymore, i told him "nigga ur breath stinks 80% of d time nd dat is a major turn off 4 me" his arrogant reply was "so? y does it matter if u dont brush ur teeth in 2weeks i will still kiss u, " well dats d difference btwn me nd u. abi oo..
anoda very important issue is taking a shower. so its friday night and u spend d night at ur boo's house. still curled up in bed sat morning, first he tries to give u a good morning kiss wit dat ridiculous breath. anyway u let him get away wit dat one afterall u dont expect him to go nd brush his teeth the kiss u good morning.. well fast forward sha,

many hrs later sha u take a shower, baff up nd all but my dude is still in pj's as in he ate breakfast without brushin his teeth nd hasnt takin a shower yet he is alll over u tryin to replay last night. dude take a freakin shower!!!!!cant stand BO

as in y is it dat afta tryin to impress u d first couple of dates some guys just totally relax as in take me as i am. its almost like i got u now so i dont need to try. yea like i know u worked hard to get me but u gotta work even harder to keep US nd keep d flame burning.. Wat say you??????????????

olu said...

LMAO @ "who born the maga.

You can't speak Igbo well. Ki ni big deal. I think they are just seeking unnecessary attention jo!

PS: I never reach to marry o! LOL!

CultureCynic said...

mochahourglass LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...this babe is chronic!!!! ahahahahahaha

Justdoyin - Anoda Phase said...

no oh...pidgin is not a language oh, so u can't claim bi-lingual...lol...

Repressed One said...

LOL@ who born the maga...wooosahhh!! U sef go and learn ya language!! *dodges stones* Just kidding oh!

I go like learn igbo but i don't hear it enuff...

See Anonymous 3.14 using your comment box as a blog...haha!!

Deji D said...

I swear you addressed this thing best. People vex my soul when they talk like someone has failed if you can't speak your language fluently. oya chop knuckle! :)

Andrea said...

lol @"Motherchoker"

leggy said...

im actually a strong believer that people should learn how to speak their language...u rarely meet a yoruba person who cant speak their language.

blackrubies said...

I was just thinking the same thing , if eevr1 in naija spoke d same language , we wont be havng the problem of not being able to speak our native tongue.......and some pple their wahala is just too much, even though i understand yoruba some oversabis would still be abusing me that i speak yoruba like an igbo,egun or w/e they can think of ...like seriously how does my speaking or understanding of a language make me a better person. Abeg dnt mind them, ur smoove pidgin makes up 4 it :)

Dee said...

I don't get why some nigerians can be so rude sometimes. I have noticed that while some of our views can be controversial, some people still feel the need to talk out of their buttholes. Not being able to speak your native tongue doesn't make you less of a better person or a person of integrity but we naija people will curse ourselves and attribute it to lack of home training(ignorance) what I hope that most naija people will learn being oversees is tolerance, and knowing that people's views need to be respected whether we agree with them or not. I can speak yoruba fluently, i'm proud of my culture but sometimes i get irate at the way we judge each other.

Mcrazy said...

I loved the post no be small!!Right on point girl...LOving it.

But I thought you were one ibo pro oh!!

ANyway I thing people like that actually hinder others from learning the language especially when you are making an effort to speak it and they are like making fun of you or saying you sound funny.

It just makes me annoyed and not want to speak it anymore.I'm yoruba and when I don't get the "tones" right some yeye older folks start laughing or cracking stupid jokes and I'm just like.HEFF HOFF...lol I'm TRYING!

Nwanyi said...

Seriously!! that is freaky!

I lived in PH for years!! practically raised there...AND MY PARENTS SPOKE ENGLISH TO US AS WELL!!! AND I WENT TO FGC!!! lol....strange!

Only difference is that I went to FGC in PH and my Dad is Edo and my Mum Igbo hence my minimal igbo speaking..

Nwanyi said...

But I'm proud of my dual heritage and don't listen to those mugus..who born them?? If there ever were parents that raised their children right..that would be my parents and I'm not saying that boastfully..it's just a darn fact.

Geebee said...

Abeg you get mouth jare. na who born the maga true true? Expression in whatever form is just okay. Who says you must be able to speak your mother tongue or dialect to be considered human? At least, you dey hear am when dem dey talk am, no be so? if not, now that's another whole matter o. lol. . . True, pidgin is another perfect language that in fact binds us all (at least Naija peeps now . . . and even Ghanaians, Liberians and Jamaicans too)

Original Mgbeke said...

Unwritten: You know worrameannn. Pidgin na another lingua on it's own ooo. My sister, I go try learn sha o.

Nicey m: Na so we see am oo. I go learn am sha, one day one day. LOL...I no sabi blow waffi oooo. Chei, but di ting sweet for ear, no be small thing.

Gee: PH, stand up! LOL

Miss.Fab: Ah ah, you wan try the maga? That one go fit enter into World War III sef. Ha Ha Ha.

Trybes: LMAO, if I no sabi blow Igbo make I at least kill una with English. Thanks bro, they gosta love me or hate me. No be small thing.

Rayo: I laid it on with plenty pepper sef. LMAO...

Bagucci: Ogini? Which kain riddle you dey yarn for hia?

LG: You be Igbo?

L-VII: Thank you so much, your comment really did make me smile. I'm really all for learning o and Sugabelly's blog should be useful, 'preciate it. So what do you plan to do? May be you can start a Yoruba speaking blog tutorial type of thing with voice pronunciations to boot. I would actually like to learn Yoruba too. I'm glad that you have picked up from Pidgin from this end, as I sure am pretty fluent at that. LOL :D

Original Mgbeke said...

Enkay: No oo, at all at all. I would certainly attend a school that teaches the language myself. (Business idea...anyone?)

FFF: Hmmm yeah same thing, my parents spoke it to each other and spoke English to us. I would love to learn and maybe if I end up getting married and it's an Igbo person who sabi speak am, hopefully he can teach the kids (and me...LOL), if not...ah well! Rosetta Stone for Igbo anyone?
Yeah that's my thing, the fact that I may or may not speak it does not make me less of a being.

Sirius: Ahh my sister. My dia na so we see am o, we plenty for hia! But you can understand, my understanding of the language kwa needs help but i have gotten better.

Revs: LOL. I no go mind learning some Yoruba while I'm at it. Yeah most people who lived in Lag sabi Yoruba well well. I think it's a different dude ooo.

Culture: LMAO, as you are interpreting kindly hold my weave while I prepare to kerk out on someone's child. *Dark look*

Chayoma: At all o, na just film trick. Ha Ha Ha

BSNC: You kwa? Na film trick my sister. Nicey mmm go teach all of us.

Odun baby: As in ehnnn. I think I have gotten that 'why are you lying' in the past. Like negro please! I'm telling you, na so fight dey start o. My dear, if only all my stingicoco friends will stop making shakara and teach me oooo. LOL...No mind them o jare, we finna attack 'em with our blazing swords.

Mocha: *ABSOLFRIGGINLUTELYDEAD*...as in I CRIED with tears upon reading your response. HEELAR! Thanks for the mid-work day laughs. You are a big big trip! :-D

Original Mgbeke said...

Anon: My dia, my temper don coolu now ooo. Bini ehn? Very intaresting. We need to officially declare pidgin as a language o! Shiooooo. :-D

Anon: You are HEELAR! You wan try the rants? Abeg you no go kill me for hia, this babe. Bwahahah @ rotten egg smell. Who are all these smelly dudes that you are rolling with sef? *dead*...too funny!

Olu: My dia o, dem wan make I notice them. Hehehehe...Yelz o, you don reach. Sha fedex my rice and beans o. I wan chopulate with una. Hahahahaha

CC: Isn't she? She's a TREEEP.

Doyin: Pidgin na language in my book ooo. :-D

RepOne: No wahala, no stones for you. LOL. I go learn am, come back and oppress y'all.

Deji D: Yelz ooo, na so we don see am be that. I dey chop knuckle oo. How you dey na?

Andrea: LOLLL!

Leggy: As long as you don't run around trying to be condescending then it's all good. I don't believe the essence of this post was to debate on if people should learn how to speak their language or not.

BlackRubies: For real o! See as confusion just break bone with all these languages. Anyway my sister, I definitely try to make up for it with the pidgin. :-)

Dee: PREACH it (again), I mean...we really need to learn to be more open minded sha. But that's the Naija way na...that whole concept of always thinking that we are better because of X, Y, Z. Ah well...

MCrazy: Thank you my sister. Yes o, that is so true..even when you try, people will laugh. The heck you laughing for? Like I don tok, this is how World war dey start. LOL. We shall all learn, yes we can!

Nwanyi: Word? Wow...girl all you FGC folk. Well at least you are not an Abuloma babe. LOL. My dear, please be proud of it and drown out all naysayers chatting all kinds of rubbish. Them never hala!

One3snapshot, Kay S Jay & Cocoacentric said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
One3snapshot said...

at the risk of you lighting into me... i think mostly i'm bummed that you can't speak...sometimes things be so much sweeter and textured and you can gossip and make jokes and tins...

i mostly think of me like i wish i spoke it very well, and i feel bummed about that, so i think sometimes it can be a bit frustrating when you WANT sometime to just go along and they can't

and then i think it's easy to forget cos after my cousin chineme...you're probably the singly most igbotic babe I know.

you will kill me I know!!

Buttercup said...

Bless your heart, hon! I get the same condescending crap cos my yoruba isnt fluent. At least I'm making the effort! Hmph

Myne Whitman said...

I speak igbo, mine is diff and not too often used. Also hate it when unknown ppl starting ranting. BUUTTT..multi lingual is all the rage so get to it babes.

Zena said...

Infact ehn! for real, who born the maga?

And I dare anybody to say pidgin is not a language, ask my bini and waffi people, pidgin is another leve l ooh!

Me too no dey speak bini, don't speak yoruba or igbo either, I can pick out stuff in all the languages but anybody give me dat crap will get a resounding slap, rubbish!!!

How body sha?

Anonymous said...

Original,abeg try overcome dat weakness and learn the language and save yoursef from more disgrace.E be like u no know say for one state assembly for Naija dey speak their native language once a week during there sitting.Think,if u come dey dat kind position wetin u go do?Absent urself dat day abi,na him be say allowee for dat day go fly u n anyhow wey ur mouth sharp reach u go jam the one wey pass u for there.lol

Original Mgbeke said...

One3: LMAO, you know I won't light into you. Hahahhaha but I'm gonna kill you. LMAO, Igbotic ke? 'Porsche' babe lomor! Hahahahaha

Burraxx: No mind them, at least you are making an effort.

Zena: LOLLL @ resounding slap. I trust you! My dia, pidgin na lingua ooo...they better recognize.

Anon: Dem tell you say I wan work for House of assembly? LOL. Come and tish me nauuu, I wan learn sha o.

histreasure said...

i'm so with FFF and L-VII, i couldn't have put it beta. i can understand y it would rattle u so much seeing that you are so in touch with ur culture, stil, the fact that u r eager to learn further shows who u are deep inside and i like that..

But upon all ur original mgbeke-ism, if na person tel me, i 4 no belif sha..

BlackVoltron said...

think about it like this.....what if long ago, the french children decided not to bother with language or the english children didn't consider learning english a worthy venture.....we'd definitely be signtalking today....all in all there's no harm in knowing your mother tongue but nobody should make u feel less human for not knowing/speaking it

BlackVoltron said...

think about it like this.....what if long ago, the french children decided not to bother with language or the english children didn't consider learning english a worthy venture.....we'd definitely be signtalking today....all in all there's no harm in knowing your mother tongue but nobody should make u feel less human for not knowing/speaking it