Tuesday, August 4, 2009

So over it!

So twas my birthday yesterday and I really should be ringing in the new year on a positive note but some things have got my panties in a twist and so, as opposed to the nice, happy post that I had planned...I'm finna drop a rant post up in this piece. If you don't like rant posts, you know what to do, the lil red X is right up at the top right hand corner of your PC screen. Now let's get this ball rolling...

I am soo over GUYS who can't do ish for you just because they are not sleeping with you/toasting you. Everything that they do for you has to come with K leg. If you say...'Hey can I ride with you to X?'...where the initial plan for him was to go there anyway, wasn't like you are taking him out of his way, he will say something along the lines of 'Shey you will contribute towards my Gas' or something as equally foolish as that. Oh oh, so just because I am not the fine girl that you are toasting now means that you can't do anything for me out of the goodness of your heart? Odikwa risky sha ooo!

I am soo over GUYS with girlfriends/fiancees trying to approach me. Fool, you don lost your everloving mind, that is for sure. The heck I look like, trying to be your side piece? Shuooooo! And then when you call them out on it, they say foolish things like 'Well, until a ring is on my finger, I am not committed to anyone' and all you can really do after that is give them a blank mickifrickin' stare. *Smh*...some poor woman out there is happily showing his pictures to her friends and co-workers talkin' bout 'this is my boo' and the idiot is out there trying to run game on other women. I pray that these brand of trifling men will never be my portion abeg, I can surely do bad all by myself. Mchewwwwww...

I am sooo over trying to extend MYSELF for anyone when half the time they aint even thinking about me. This one includes friends kwa. Uh uh, you be trying to do and be there for people but when time comes, aint no one really thinking about you like that. I see how it bes sha o, and me kwa I don dey shine my eye. Nsogbu a diro.

I am sooo over my pressed a-s-s senior getting on my everloving nerves. He's lucky it's a recession because I am this close to chewing his head off. Abi hin never see Igbo craze before? Chain-smoking micki fricki like him. In fact I wonder if I can claim an allergic reaction to second hand smoke just to avoid working with him in the future. Nonsense and Crayfish!

I am sooo over mofos saying things like 'I know you'. Fool please! You don't know me, so kindly fall back with that over familiarity before I kerk out on your a-s-s. The heck? You don't even know how that comment irritates the mess out of me. 'I know you ke'. You better go and know your mother o. Shuoooooo!

I am sooo over the stupid woman in my apartment building who insists on hogging that one parking spot right in front of the building. It is obvious that she has lost her everlovind mind sha o. Abi I no sabi who send am to buy 2 Mercedez benz but let me tell you what this foolish woman likes to do. She has a black benz and a white benz so when she wants to take the black benz out, she will go and pull the white benz right behind it, hop in the black benz and pull it out and then get back out and hop in the white benz to park it in the spot. She does this unfailingly EVERY DAY. I swear, one day I will slash her tires if she continues to piss me off some more or leave her a mean note telling her exactly what I think of her pressed foolishness. Abi she never own fine car before? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. *WOOF*

I am sooo over people whining that I don't call them. Seriously, just STFU. Last time I checked, it wasn't like you were blowing up my phone either. It takes 2 to do this communication thing, dude. Ugh!

I am sooo over my Ghetto neighbours driving up into the complex and blasting music at 2a.m. in the morning. How inconsiderate is that? I am convinced that some individuals walking around on planet earth seriously lack brain cells and if these mofos continue to try me ehnnnnnnnnn, dem go hia wiiiii. In fact na that day wey I go show pesin say Khaki no be leather. Abi Barack Obama don start to dey climb on top Molue? Foolish stuvvings indeed!

*Errrrm that's all I can think of for now*

See? Ranting is good for the soul. I actually do feel better now...Wooooosaaaaaah. I am a full believer in letting it all out baby! Imagine if everyone in the world continued to internalize things, I bet we would have a whole bunch of dead folk up in this piece.
I also encourage people to drink a glass of cold water when they are mad about something. In fact let me share a funny story with y'all....
I, the O.M enjoys a good argument now and then, and luckily for most...as much dishing out that I do, I can also take it. So, I went to dinner with some friends and me and one dude in the mix got into it. I mean, you could tell the guy was seriously vexing about my own point of view regarding the issue at hand. I told him...'ehn, you are vexing shey? Continue to vex o. Infact you should drink some cold water make e take cool you down small'.
As I said this, I noticed that the waiter was passing by and I said 'excuse me, may I please get a glass of water'. My friends caught on to what I was doing and started cracking up, meanwhile the dude was still there making his heated argument.
The cold water came, and I handed it right next to him and said 'Drink and coolu temper. You go dey accurate'...and he burst out laughing, the ice was broken and all was well and happy in the world.

Moral of the story= When you dey vex, drink cold water. Unfortunately for me, there was no cold water so I picked the next best thing...blogger!

The end.

48 comments:

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

chai!! this is serous ranting o!!! happy belated birthday!

Nice Anon said...

fucking hell! You are going to hell for this.... hahahahahahahahahah@ do you want a glass of water?? lol

Let it all out you hear. lol You kon dey visit this early afternoon. Calm down my love but I know you feel a lot better now abi? Good.

Nice Anon said...

vex* laugh don make me type visit.. ihula gi

CultureCynic said...

ranting is liberating men....once you type it , it will vamooose....and you know this!!


i was laffing and nodding and saying.....ooooooooooooooo OM is going to chop somebody's head off...nna mehn that your neighbour dikwa very funny, ppl get time sha....in this heat even she ahs time to be playing switcheroo in ze parking lot, she never jam. if na me sef, i will drive one aka awusa kind of driving and cut her off somehow, one day, she will run out of gas in the white one sha....

LOL at the ice water bit...ahahahahahahaha i can see you doing it tooo, i will try it myself, next time am mad at someone instead of throwing the cold water at the person, u r saying to drink it instead she??? ok i can dig it, plus i will be conserving the water and saving the glass cup. i will start practicing today......

so if the person is vexing for me, i shld offer them cold water and actually hand it to them. ok note taken....next time Lover wants to flex his vocal cords , i will excuse myself, jejelly walk to the kitchen, take my time choosing a a glass cup, wash it, dry it off, pour some cold water in it without ice, walk to him and hand it to him she?...ok lesson memoraized...'

will let you know how it goes...if it doesnt work, u owe me a bottle of malta guiness shuuuu...

Tigeress said...

as for unavailabe guys hitting on- many many more to come. as long as u're single- it'll happen. Build a thick skin if not u'll forever be angry. The only way it wont happen is if u be serious wowo.

cool down for Jesus.

iphyigbogurl said...

happy belated birthday!!!!
hope u have a great year ahead!!!
but this ur ranting sha.....lol
ngwa go and drink cold water make u cool down ...inu?
lol

Odunayo said...

Original Original I feel you on almost everything you have said here...especially about the guy wey get fiancee...one time me and friends were at a wedding. All of us were in different areas of the hall at one point and were being toasted by the same guy who happen to have a wife and 2 kids. We found only afterwards, when we met up again to tell each other and saw the bastard guy leaving with his "family". **HISS**

And the calling people factor...that one really pisses me off when people say that. One, I'm not a phone person, I rather talk in person or text. Two, most of the time its people that you are not even close with that will be saying all this nonsense. Anyway I do like to check up on people randomly and I feel that is always a good thing to do but don't expect calls everyday.

I feel you though...how was your birthday love?

No Long Thing said...

mehn.. persin no suppose dey near you if you vex o... which 'parran'

leggy said...

lol...happy birthday!!!
slowly taps u on the back..with a sympathy look on my face.lmao.

Rene said...

Happy belated birthday!!!
Ranting is good for the soul
lol@ the cold water story

48 said...

"I pray that these brand of trifling men will never be my portion abeg" - to which I didn't even kno when I hollered a resounding amen! out loud lol


And your neighbour with the two mercedes...I'm currently waging a war for my favorite parking spot myself or this one neighbour I hv who'll park one tiny sports cars in two parking spots - why? So somebody doesn't hit her baby. I was dumbfoundedsha.


Oh and about peeps not being there when you need them - a friend and I had this discussion this past wknd. It stings but life gets easier when you just do you and not expect people to reciprocate.


Ranting is awesome jare, takes the load off!

RocNaija said...

Happy buffday in arrears..
Was it as quiet as you hoped for? Or did someone have a surprise for you?

Ada said...

:dead:

I fell off my chair at "woof".lolllll

you know I did this same thing to one of the foolish roommates I encountered in my life time. she was getting heated and i told her she should "drink some water". meaning calm down. ole girl took offense and assumed that the water statement had had something to do with her weight *blank stare*. talk about an insecure heffur!!!

Fabulo-la said...

LOOOOOL!!!

Breathe in..breathe out..

LMAO...

Happy birthday babes
xxx

Nwanyi said...

Ranting is good!!!! happy birthday to you..same day as my sister!

Vic Moreau said...

Happy belated birthday, my dear. What is your own blog for if not to rant freely? Lol, love the cold water bit

mizchif said...

Happy Baiday oh!

Nice one with the water.

Plus i'm so over putting myself out for ppl who clearly do not even think 2ce when it has to do with you.

Then as for guys who can't help you out without expecting fringe benefits, i find that my Naija men are more guilty of this one as most of my "foreign" male friends understand the "just friends" and behave accordingly.

blogoratti said...

Happy Belated Birthday!

Lolia said...

Ohmidaiz! Hahahaha! I loved this...Original Mgbeke, you are my new #1 fave!

Biko, I am so with you on way too many of those things, the other day I was even telling myself, "Lolia imma need you to calm your ass down because some people just aren't worth the stress." You should do the same dear...

Happy belated birthday! Hope you had fun anyway xxx

Anonymous said...

THANK GOD FOR YOUR LIFE!!

May the Lord continue to bless you. I joined facebook so these people can leave me alone...every now and again I click on the 'like' option under a status update or a new profile picture to let them know I am alive. I love the next person but I have school and work, and you are not calling me to ask about my well being...so what is the issue??
And please you do not know me?? Even if we have crossed paths you have not spoken to me to know who I am....at one point I started to think some people had been sent here to annoy me, but it must be some sort of test... we will pass it. AMEN!!

Happy belated birthday!!

chayoma said...

this one na rant, no be small!
Happy belated Birthday!

Reverence said...

go ahead girl.. tell em why you mad!..lol

Tay-mee said...

Gathem! didn't know you could vex like this oh, haha nice person like you ehn..Pele.

However that your cool down trick, Lord knows i will always look for an opportunity to do it, it's absolutely legendary.

faB!! said...

Let it ALL out. Let it ALL out....lol!!
sure it felt so good.

Thank God I'm not the only one who thinks Communication is a damn two way thing. Don't effin complain about me not calling or texting you when you damn right know you ain't doin the same thing.....uugggh!!!
Ish irrites me!!

Ms. Royal Reigns said...

I am sooo over mofos saying things like 'I know you'.

I know you, OM.

And what?

:o)

Also, that whole "You don't call me!!!" bit is so effin' true. Two way street, people. Two way street. If you have the time to wonder why I'm not calling you, then you can USE that time to call ME and ask me why I don't call you. Seriously.

Kpakpando said...

um I'm mad at that your neighbor too, wtf owns two benz' and is still renting?

just absolutely no damn comment on the men, fugging ewus all around.

happy birthday hope you did something super fun.

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The Girl with the Red Hair said...

Happy Birthday in advance!

Girl I feel your rant especially those friends who always want you to be there for them and would vamose when you need them. I don delete them for my life

tunrayo said...

ROTFL!!! Happy Belated Birthday

...and, i think i'm going to look for some really cold bottle of water right now

LusciousRon said...

Good rant! I think you should slash them tires just to teach her a lesson! it is not her fathre's property dhemmit!

Hmmn, I go try drink water nextv time I vex. LOL at the dude.

Enkay said...

Some good ranting is sure good for the soul!

The lady with the cars needs to be cornered on a lonely road and giving some good lashing. Now you decide if you'll lash with a koboko or just your mouth..hehehehe!

Anoda Phase said...

A belated happy birthday to u Original M...hope it was a fun but peaceful day...

lol @ d M/Benz lady...n d cold water thingy? great!

bob-ij said...

LOL Mgbeke you're on another level! Happy late belated...lol But I know what you mean... I KNOW YOU! The most annoying three words in the world...especially from randomers or exes...it's been 5 YEARS! Get over yourself...we're ot sole mates...Oops sorry this is your rant not mine...lol

But yeah I'm not really into that whole you didn't call me thingamajig...cuz really if we need to speak, we shall communicate, if not, then we shan't and when we do, life goes on! As for Micki fricki...Only you! lol

As for the whole ring on finger episode...not even going there! Sick to my stomach of that!...lol Hope the rest of the week is rantless though..it's my birthday soonest too!

x!

Buttercup said...

Dang Mgbeksizzle, I've missed you! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!! Whoever doesn't feel berra after such a rant has a serious problem..lol!

olu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
olu said...

I LOVE rants! Well, a few peoples rants, that is. LOL! Happiness is inspiring in person, not on the internet, so carry go!

The following people & acts irk me :

*People go on about my not calling them. Arrgh!

*People who blast music unnecessarily at ANYtime.

*Neighbours who make noisy vigils their hobby. It's not like I'm atheist or something, but pls...

Happy Birthday!!

Original Mgbeke said...

36: Nna ehnnn I am over it now. Thanks my lady.

Nice Anon: Darris ehn, the thing dey work ooo. Try it and see. :-D

Culture hon: Try it with the lover, trust me it will work. If e no work, no come find me o. LOL

Tigeress: That really gets me going but I go try sha. Yeye pipu! I don cool, my sister.

Iphy: Nne I don coolu temper ooo, drink cold pepsi sef. No wahala. Thanks my dia.

Odun baby: Hia! So these brand of foolish men are just everywia like this. Bobo no even shameee. Seriously as per the calling, na peeps wey no dey lift hand to holla at you o..trying to guilt trip you. Abeg make dem waka pass. My birthday was a quiet one my sister. Thank youuu.

No Long thing: I go carry koboko just flog pesin. Make dem maintain a safe distance ooo. lol

Leggy: Thanks babe. LOL

Rene: Ranting is great for the soul indeed. Thanksss.

48: As you tok that amen I hope say peeps no dey around you o. Dem go say haba..kolo don land oooo. LOL. My sister, na so we see am on all these things ooo. :-)

RocNaija: Thank youuu. It was a quiet one, no surprises for this one.

Ada: I trust that you picked yourself right back up. LOL. Hahahaha, talk about insecure indeed. Next taim na to hand am the water live and direct!

FabouLA: I dey cool like freezer my sister. Thanks hon.

Nwanyi: Thank youuu. The bestest women are born on Aug 3rd. :D

VicMoreau: Thank you ooo. Yelz..'it's my blog and I will rant if I wan to'. ha Ha. :-)

Original Mgbeke said...

MizChif: Thank you mai sister. As per putting yaself out for folk, na to just dey observe am with binoculars. LOL

'Ratti: Thanksss. :-)

Lolia: Thanks babe. :-D, Nna ehn na to calm down for realz ooo because if man pikin just dey catch a case anyhow it won't be pretty. No wahala, we go dey accurate.

Anon: Preach on it honnn. Thanks a bunshes for the well wishes, yes oo. FB is great for letting folk know and I mean if you have been calling me and I don't call back, i will feel bad but people who never holla trying to guilt trip me just pisses me off. Girlllll we shall overcome this test for real. (I assume you are a female..lol)

Chayoma: Yelzz oo. Thanks my babe!

Revs: All day, every day. Ha Ha Ha

Taymee: Yeah i fool people till i unleash the dragon. LMAO...I suggest and recommend that cool down trick, tell me how it works.

fAb: It felt veryyyy good. LOL, girl you feel me! I mean, you totally feel me on this one. Yeyerism.

RoyalReigns: You know you'se VIP hon. You can make such comments and I won't side eye you. Ha Ha. Girlll, you feel me too! Dem go dey accurate.

Kpakpando: LMAO, talk about misplaced priorities! *smh*
As per the man, I know you feel me on this one mayneee. I don see the prayer wey you carry pray for ol' boy. Hahahahaha

Milan: I will shekkiroutts.

GirlwithRedhair: That is ehn! I won't delete but I don tok say na binuculars wey I go carry to observe pesin. No long thing! lol

Tunrayo: Thanks honn. I hope the cold water helped. LOL, e go just cool ya brain.

LusciousRon: My gawsh, I've been tempted. Na just because of God ooo. What kind of selfishness is that sef? Mchewwww.

Enkay: If I had my way I would give her a koboko lashing. LMAO, thank you my sister.

JustDoyin: Thankss ooo. It was a nice and quiet day. :-)

Bob-Ij: Girlll feel free to rant away o jare. I mean, people suppose know the drill na. As for the trifling men, they are just on another level. Nonsense! When is your birthday? Leos are just too sexy!

Buraxxxxxx: Where have you been BABE? Na only Chari dey update these days. It is really good to see you back. :-D

Olu: Thanks my dia! Seriously noisy vigils annoy me too. Gosh! Keep the noise down.
And blasting music on that hood fab levels at any time is not kosher either. I heard someone bumping it this afternoon and I was like 'it is wayy too early for this'. Yeyerism.

Repressed One said...

lmao...wooofriggingsha!! i sure sey you don calm down by now sha [i not, make i being light candle for you]
pele ehn...no mind dem...like i say "fuck all yall!!" hehehe

Hope you had a good bday!!

Tisha said...

lol
i hope ur stress levels are down now.
that so does not sound smart,i am just trying to say u have a cool blog here

Shubby Doo said...

haapy belated birthday sweetie

BSNC said...

happy belated birthday...

lol abeg drink water to cool down your temper. i ll try that one day, that is if they don't pour the water on me...


i feel you jare about the phone thing... dem dey forbid to call person too. hissss.

ehen hope you didn't finish the cake o

Elle Woods said...

so that woman still insists on parking her car in front of your building? buahahha.
meanwhile...im still trynna convince my friend that not all naija men are trfiling morrsauckas. I don't think i am doing a good job of it.

Nice Anon said...

Nne, update da?

Original Mgbeke said...

Repressed: I dey cool like freezer o. LOL @ fuck y'all! No be small thing my sister.

Tisha: It's down o. LOL...thanks!

Shubby Doo: Thanks lady.

BSNC: Oh baby! Where have you been? My sister na so we observe am ooo...peeps wey no dey holla, wan make you holla. Shuooo. Thanks my lady.

Elle: LMAO, yes o..the trifling woman. Man, our Naija men aren't helping their case o...trifling morachokers! Shuoooooooo.

LG said...

nne i dey vex o n (no beg me) i just hope say 'cake neva finish sha :-)
*may God grant ur heart desires (amen

BlackVoltron said...

whoooooosah.......breathe in breathe out.....