Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Anti Independent Woman - Rich men are wanted!

So it's like, every time I turn on the radio, it's some song playing about Ms. Independent or some variation of Independent women. 'She got her own', 'She pays her own bills' blahblahblah. You go to the club and the DJ is like 'All my independent ladies who pay their own bills can I see your hands up?'... And you get some screaming juvenile looking women all hella excited to raise their hands. Come on sharrap thia! What is so exciting about paying bills? My paychecks are on some LIFO steez (Last in, First out for the none Accounting folk)...you wait 2 weeks for it to come and its gone in 2 days thanks to the yeye bills wey these women dey shout up and down for.
What else is so exciting about paying bills sef? Shey na bills... Anyone fit pay bills na. If you got a 6 dollar/hr job at Mickey Ds you still fit use that moni to pay at least a cell phone bill if nothing else.
Long story short, there is absolutely nothing exciting or exhilarating about paying bills so boooyah Neyo, Webbie and all related Independent women hypers.

I always find that people get to know me and eventually say things like 'You don't come off as a last born', and when I ask what they mean, they say things along the line of 'You don't exhibit the typical traits of a last born, you come off as so independent'.
Truth of the marra is that in some ways, I am your typical last born (I got away with a bunch of stuff growing up that my sister's didn't, and I'm ultimately still my mommy and my sister's baby girl) but on the flip, I always disclaim that I'm not spoiled or bratty. But that's beside the point... Today, I wanna discuss the 'Independent' bit.

I have pretty much done things for myself ever since I was about 20. My first year in Obodo Oyibo, when I was a wide eyed 17 year old was spent living with my relatives. As is the typical case with most JJC's from Naija and relatives in Yanks, things aint go too well and so my parents were forced to get an apartment for my brother and I. Along with the apartment, they funded our first 2 years in Community college and for that, I continue to hail them and I am grateful because I tell ya, changing naira to dollars is not a beans and rice steez at all, at all.
By the time I was ready to transfer to a 4 year college, I got me some Financial aid and so those free grants, student loans and various part time jobs/internships funded the rest of my college career. With a combination of those 3 sources of income, I paid my rent, bubbled and shuffled and bought my first car cash down at an auction (I was so proud of myself...hehehehe). Now, I have graduated from college and my lifestyle is now funded by a full time job as opposed to part time + school aid.
Original Mgbeke history 101 ends here.

Do I consider myself to be independent? Sure. I handle myself financially and have not relied on my parents or any one else for tha marra, for any kind of that assistance since the above mentioned 20-ish age. Do I run about screaming that I got my own (if not property, does enough clothes and shoes to set up a shop count? LOL) and I pay my bills? No way! I actually do not think that it's hard for one to be independent...shey na America? Unless your papa na one rich senator for Abuja, you ultimately will learn to handle your business ya damn self.

Do I like being independent? No way. I think it's hella overrated and I need a nice long vacation from being a DIY woman. I mean, I have never had the luxury of not working...3 months after I landed in America, I got a job and I have been working since then. Like hellooo, can someone come and free me? Like can I go to the rental office one day to pay rent and the employees will say 'Ummm wow, Ms. Mgbeks, your rent for the entire 2010 has been paid by a certain Mr...'. Bwahahahha.
That aside, must I do everything for myself? Haba! The other day Nice Anon blogged about women who claim independent and they can't change a light bulb or take their car to get serviced. I'm not guilty but it sho' would be nice to have someone to that ish for me, nahh meaannn. Let me go on vacay with a man who will cover the entire hotel + car rental + air fare, is it too much to ask?
Why I gotta hire movers when I move? Why can't one knight in shining armor swoop in with his homeboys and a Uhaul truck to handle my stuff while I siddon and cross leg. Like Beyonce go tok, all these ones na serious sweet dreams sha o, but it is good to dream my brothers and sisters. :-D

So guess what y'all? I am officially tired of that status and am now lying in wait for the next RICH man who falls within 500 yards of me 'cos I am sooo dragging him down the altar. Okay, okay...I will make an exception...if he ain't rich, he should at least be able to take care of me. Una think say I dey play, when I tell people that me, I just wan marry one rich man and be a full time housewife (with one correct buying and selling business on the side), I get the blank stare. Whachu blanking me for? If you wan go do corporate madam for a fortune 500 company, knock yourself out honey while I balance well well for my rich husband's house and dey send Blessing the househelp up and down, LMAO! No offense to any ladies named Blessing sha o...

I mean...picture this. I find the above mentioned rich man/care taker man, put a ring on it and proceed to put in my 2 weeks notice at my job like right after the honeymoon. Mortgage payment? What is that? Greek? My 2020 BMW will be paid for by him AND I even get a monthly salary for being a full time stay at home mama (my friend came up with this brilliant idea, and I am in full support i.e salaries for stay at home mama's)...after all, is it easy to carry 5 bomboys for 9 months each and take care of them + him, my darling hubby? 'cos trust me...in appreciation for wifing me up and freeing me from the burdens of doing it all for myself and paying my own way, I promise that he will always come home to a warm, freshly cooked meal (by me, and not Blessing :-p) + other err...marital perks. Hahahaha.

Don't side eye me and call me a gold digger o! In fact, you can go ahead and knock yourself out because like I said, while you are sitting in your house and gossiping about me...your mortgage payment is waiting to be paid and I will be relaxing in my PAID FOR house while Hubby and I plan that all expenses paid trip to Rome (Bahamas is for the peasants, my hubby will be taking me to exclusive places)..lmaooo. I crack myself up.

So umm yeah, the entire summary of this long tori is that...yours truly is ready to ditch the indy woman status and find her a nice rich man, and so if any of you know any fine, sexy, RICH and eligible young bachelors, you may kindly re-direct them to this blog.

The end.

69 comments:

Eve said...

lol i was just telling my friend that today...my words " no more suffering and smiling" ...nice read!

TayneMent said...

lol, you are silly and I am anti-salary for stay at home mommy.

leggy said...

lmao..i love your mantra.i want me a rich man too.

Azazel said...

Ahn AHn original mgbeks my sis name is blessing o. Warris ur prob? Does that seem like a househelp name to u/ Why didn't u pick Gift or precious? hiss lol.
I loved this blogpost lol

Omotade said...

lol i feel ya.

Nice Anon said...

lol How Ironic!
My brother was just yabbing me about this chic he just met who i guess has rich parents. Next thing he started talking about the brother who was apparently decked out in true religion jeans and hermes belts. U know what I asked next abi? "how old is he??"

Ada said...

*dead*

Beulah! said...

Hehehe!!!!, how convenient. I no blame u my dear jare, there is not award for being an independent woman abeg.

Quaggar said...

LMAO! U're just sum'n else mgbeks. Hope u do find him sha.
lol @ azazel's comment

David.фаворит Бога номер-один said...

LOL!!!
my mgbeks...for real?

Harry-Rami Itie said...

You are son not a goold digger..u just know what you want...

Deji D said...

All i can do is read this and laugh quietly b4 the neighbors report me for wakin 'em up.
Trust you for keeping it "trill" That whole independence movement gives one a sense of pride but the work no be yam.
If one fine heiress wants to take me out of the job market and stash me in a crib with salary, I'll gladly accept and una go see me on red carpets making appearances and cheesing like i stole something.

bArOquE said...

may God grant you your hearts desires in Jesus name

...the problem would be, are you humble enough to fit the position to make him do these things for you, bcuz my dear i know men here that can soooo take care of you & more...

ps: i'm talking clean money

kmplx said...

i second baroque... it would be ideal, but imagine you can't make any decisions, you have to just take your salary and keep working. so what's the diff? a hubby and a boss in one?

Enkay said...

Hehehe! OM you are just too funny!

Me too i have often wondered does being an independent woman only mean that I can pay my bills? Well if that's all then I think it's over-rated!

Abi?

Ms. Royal Reigns said...

Cool post. I don't think there's anything wrong with sweet dreaming about having a rich man in your life. All women (be it independent or non-independent) want a rich man to take care of them for life. I mean, look what these groupies go through to cop themselves an athlete? Not a game. Anywho, all the Webbies & Ne-Yos of the world is just saying that cause they're semi-cheap. L O L! Infact, I'll go a step further and say they're being semi-selfish. Hahaha!
One thing, though. I can't be a housewife. I'll take everything but being a housewife. I need to be active. So, if that means having a Blessing in the house to help out, so be it.

Lady X said...

Though I'm not the last born (second to the last) people always ask me if I'm the last. Wonder where they get that idea from. Wow you paid for your college? More grease to your elbow o.

miz-cynic said...

baroque!could that be you?

also i no fit shout, if all the moni finish piam, wetin i go do?

Sugarking said...

hehehe, this girl you no go kill person. I get where ur coming from sha. Not totally o, just small. lol

Enoch said...

LIFO? Accounting? Come, Una thief am from us Engineers o. Along with FIFO and the likes. But that's ok, we thief am from the mathematicians, Erlang &co.

Enuf efiko.

My sista no mind all those Miss independent-I-can-like-to-suffer-myself-and-pay-my-own-bills ladies. i dunno why u dey tell dem d koko sef.

Vacay in Roma? That's so BoyGeorge 80s. Cabo San Lucas all the way baby!

Mamuje said...

I am so with you on this one. I am officially hunting for a goldmine and when i see it, I will be digging all the way. I don too date broke-ass wankers.

Rene said...

I totally agree with u....full housewife + salary and oter ish...dt doesn't make us a golddigger joh!

neefemi said...

i loved the post....i'm very independent and i love it and i can change my tires & a house bulb... i also don't think being independent means paying bills...it means being self sufficient and reliant...i only say this to say to each their own...my mother had to leave our house in nothing but a towel, when they split - pride plus my dad just shouting that he did everything for her, made sure she never got a stitch of anything... cos he wont let her work...now my mom is the one who has taken care of us more than my dad has in recent years...i love my dad don't get me wrong...i'm just saying i'm not comfortable with any man being in charge of my finances...when we can share...i want to be his equal partner, plus i want the security that God forbid we ever end, my children will be well taking care of...i only speak from experience and say think about it wisely

p.s. if you start to invest well now, in abt 10yrs or less you could be a millionaire yourself

Yinkuslolo said...

maybe this is the first time im syaing this,

im the only pikin but ive been working my ass off for a hot min since I was 16 cos i know shit is always rosy. and tbh when the boy dept comes in check, money matters. ive had a bad exp with some miserly kid, no going back.

i may not be the housewifey type tho. but the hubby [and I] gotta bring kudi to the deck. deadass serious lol

by God's grace!

Yinkuslolo said...

isn't always rosy*

Tay-mee said...

Dead @ Bahamas is for peasants lmao..Mgbeks you kill me.

But me too I wanna claim independent woman for some time after I`m done with school oh, until I find my rich husband sha lol

Rita said...

rotfl...so u have been in obodo oyibo since then...kai...these people did not try to remove the naijaness...lol...

Ok, let me get serious. I feel you Mgbeks...why be independent when there's someone who should do it for you? Please hold bArOquE's hand very tightly let him show you the way...

Devil's Spawn said...

Nne abeg when u find am, send his younger bro my way...mmadu n'ata ahuhu na obodo oyibo

NigerianQueen said...

when you find your rich man ehn, if he has any friends or brothers that are equally as rich or richer, abeg send them my way.

Ya girl has bills that need to be paid! I need a maga ASAP!!!

Shubby Doo said...

funny i was feeling this way and thinking exactly the same thing now! been there done that...i'll take the rich dude

akaBagucci said...

Err.. when you find him, send his younger sister my waaaay!!!

LucidLilith said...

Original odukwa ka mu na gi nwele ofu history!

I came here when I was 20 stayed with relatives...didn't go so well.

Got MYSELF an apartment. Got a job within TWO weeks of getting here. Yup...you be ajebutta...wetin be three months? And your mama and papa pay your rent? Shiyiit.

I funded my community college education before transferring to a four year school. Yes, Original, ME!!!

I have been paying bills since my first paycheck... all $180 dollars working as a cashier, landed on my hands. Isi gini!

Hmmm. You and I should have a summit of us "independent not by choice" females.

LOL...seriously...your story is so similar to mine. Except I had no brother to do it with.

Mwajim Al said...

LMAO... I am rolling in my bed! Yeah I share your sentiments esp when the end of the month comes :( Funny your History 101 is kinda similar to mine :)

Neo said...

haha, this rings so true, when i tell pple that i wouldn't work a day if i won big in the lottery, they act all "are u insane" with ur 7 yrs invested in law degrees? i'm like "ehen una think say me like to suffer abi, why else am i busting my ass if not to kick it back some 10-15 yrs from now?

with around 19 (known) siblings this babe had to grow up fast o, so i feel u die.

Myne Whitman said...

This post got me cracking and the comments even more. LOL...me I'm for independent girl oo. Paid housewife or career woman, know how to handle your business...

miss b said...

hahahah, i was defo on dt miss independent p until i started working!!! men bills r not a small something oh!!!
but i defo still dont want to be a housewife, God forbid he dies or leaves u dn u n ur bmw is out in the cold! You have to ALWAYS be on ur grind!

48 said...

This is like the funniest thing cos I could never put this kind of thing into words...like never; I simply grunt when women who hv great husbands/bfs complain about some things. Just this morning this lady was complaining bitterly about hving to take care of her car problems cos her hubby was out of town - in my head I'm like "see enjoyment o" heck I kno so much about cars from hanging in the car shop that I cud prolly be a mechanic lol.


I'd NEVER wanna be the housewife with no financial contribution cos I kno the kind of effects that has on a marriage but err I've done everything myself since 17, biko the feminist movt is sooo tired. I don't need a man because I'm used to handling stuff by myself anyways - and I hv daddy to call/run to whenever things get uber tough:D - but I want a partner(a male one o hehe) cos it'll be nice to share the kaya and let daddy rest of course:) IMO no woman should be a "can't do jack by myself, always looking for some male figure to fix/handle things" sort of individual; a fine balance can be maintained.

Oh wait, I forgot to say that I enjoyed reading this - as always - hope you're good love.

Anonymous said...

I am feeling this post ooh... no be small something. Im tired of being independent jor make someone do fast come carry me ah I no fit shout abi how i go fit use pin pound yam. But I can't be a housewife sha i need to know the money is there but i gotta have a business... making some kinda income of my own in case of incasity lol se u get??
Nice post!!

Ms.O said...

I LOVE YOU!!!!! Miss Independent ke...#2010 #weoffdat!!! lol! When you find him please send he's younger bro my way! thanx!

Odunayo said...

Ha! Mgbeks...I go join my faith with yours to pray God give you husband wey get money!

And my English name na Blessing, WETIN? Hmmm...

Anyway sha, to each his own. I get respect for housewives...e no easy.

ifeoma odogwu said...

its funny i just finished having ds discussion like 2mins ago. housewife job should be legalized jo.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

"there is absolutely nothing exciting or exhilarating about paying bills"

lol!!!!

Well, its nice to know you can take care of your own financial issues, I think. But having someone want to share that burden with you or takeover completely, doesn't hurt either. And, I say that for men and women.

Great post! I'm sending this to a few friends. We'll talk about it during girls night out this weekend. Its going to be a trip....

TRYBES said...

Chai .this woman eee..you too much..more than enough vibes to last an entire day..will pass on your request to my rich friends but sure need some vitals..

Repressed One said...

LOL!! I'm with NigerianQueen...when you find ya own biko inquire about bros and relatives in the same circles...gracias!!

ronztopz said...

shoo! I feel you mehn. I am in my final yr of med skool. And if some guy comes and tells me. I will pay ur loans. u just siddon for home and make some babies. he won't have to say it twice. asap i will be married and pregos. Indy is sooooooooooooo overated!

MPB said...

You never fail to crack me up. BTW do you think the "independedent woman craze" is an American thing? I dont know many Nigerians that spout that ish.

Fierce said...

*dramatic gasp* my grandmother's name was blessing!!! I kid, I kid.
I gotta admit, I've noticed that most women that take pride in being 'independent' have trust funds for themselves, their dogs, their hairdresser, their hair... you get my drift. Most guys who praise independent women are dating girls with the afore-mentioned qualities. Hats off to you though, and I'll even help you look for a rich husband. Do you think it can be called kidnapping if you asked politely first?

;)
xoxo

Reverence said...

LOLL!!! can i get an Amen? but have you noticed the independent crap only applies to money?

Elle Woods said...

buahahahaha...your are taking a page outta my book. Been working since my ass was 17 and i don tire for real. I used to feel guilty bout guys buying me stuff but no more...if you want to spend money on me then its all gravy. A rich Husband would be nice too. I am tired as hell!

Miss Loré said...

lmaooo this was funny
i loveeed this
i want me a rich guy too lol

Motun said...

damn!!! why is there no like and highfive button here....i get the same blank stare when i say i HAVE to marry a rich man

Anoda Phase said...

...of cos I love me the idea of a salary for stay @ home mama's...I'm sure getting one wen I become a mama myself...lol...n I also understand ur desire for a break...my sister u've tried...I pray ur prince comes along soon n with the dream package too...

FFF said...

rotflmao @ akabagucci. abi o. these women think na only dem sabi good thing? hahahaha

@ mgbeke: my dear, i dey wit u small on dis. i so wish am working more cos i want to & not cos i have to

StandTall-The Activist said...

ah, why is no one thinking of the rich guy as the poor guy that wil lwork his ass off in this whole issue? lol

haaweee said...

LMFAO.....i nid me a supaman!...i am darm tird of paying bills....wat pains me most is amongs ma frnds i'v bin da most unlucky 1,....dont get me wrong i can handl ma bizness bt sumtimes u jst dnt want 2 handl it....dats whr sumone totful comes in! i luk forward 2 meeting dat 1 NIJA bro who's gonna b ma TOTFUL knight! in shiny....lol

Omotee! said...

search me o my sister!
i said i'd love to marry jonathan or dangote or otedola and pple start looking at me somehow. for why now?!! i am tired of picking my bills jare, ah ah, whats wrong with a luxurious life?!

and if i invite those my friends for a nice girl time in dubai, they will come o, shio!

i love ur post jo, i am laffing like an idiot here

olu said...

Mgbeks, only you can pull this off - selling gold digging on blogger and having the citizens buy. Your mojo is back, now consolidate. Nice one! You no dey dissapoint.

Ifeoma-adiagwuagwu said...

lmao.

Geebee said...

Now reading this, I’ll bet three of my toes that Original Mgbeke is joking. FYes o, you definitely are. For starters, if you really needed to dump your indy-minded lifestyle, you wouldn’t even talk about it. In fact, it would be a well-guarded secret. Two . . . in short, let’s leave it at that. The above reason is the exact reason why I wouldn’t direct any rich and wadded pot-bellied man to your blog (and I know so many of them too). Come to think of it, it would be pretty nice to see you dump your independent lifestyle for a change. I’ll probably begin a live coverage of your life once that happens to see how long it’d last. lol

olaoluwatomi said...

:)) LOL at the post and the comments, all the best with your search!

F said...

LOL... So true... Not much else to add after 60 comments but hey, I'll try. I think the idea of an "independent woman" is that she CAN take care of herself, not that she HAS TO. I think learning to be self-sufficient is crucial but if there's a non-douchebag willing to pick up the tab then I'll keep my cash to myself, thank you very much. Not having the skills to take care of oneself is why many women are trapped with jerks who treat them like (insert unsightly item) but have financial control over them.

Simply put, as long as you have yourself as a foolproof fallback plan, go on with your bad self... ;) Not having to pay for stuff makes them sooo much sweeter, doesn't it?

rethots said...

Hmmmm......

srr2 said...

Lol!!! Totally Agreee...and i'm Pro- Salary for stay at home moms.

theicequeen said...

lolol when you find him, abi when he finds you in Jesus name, you can like to contact awon girls for marketing purposes, you know, leave nothing to chance so he is convinced say naim find gold mine. Second is that you will forward all brothers and first cousins for scrutiny..deal? :P

It's nice to know that you can handle your bizzness given the chance, but it's also nice not to be actively breaking your head over it because you have no other choice...biko i want to exersise this independence where necessary! and not just to the left and to the right to prove to somebody that i can finish my money...na dem put me on prayroll?

sinairesse said...

I love this Blog girl, you are writing what all women would want to scream out loud, but are too scared to be labelled gold digger. lol

cialis said...

Hi, well be sensible, well-all described

Sofia said...

Wow! This was such a cool post! Every women want nothing but to have a better life sooner or later. That's why whenever they ask us about what's our ideal guy, we often say that we want someone who's wealthy enough to provide everything for our family. Way back before, that was really my perception when it comes to my ideal guy. But what happened now is somehow the opposite of what I've been dreaming of. But I am still thankful and lucky because my husband does everything to provide for my family. He's very resourceful and hard working. And if we don't have enough money, he would tend to have a payday loan (Utah) just to give the needs of our family.

Anonymous said...

Most rich men only go with rich women and marry rich women so you are out of luck. The average man only has a relationship with a woman to have sex. Today you have so many online escorts offering $60 and $100 specials for sex he doesn't need to spend a $100 to take you to dinner when he can get what he wants from a online escort. So what you have is overpriced compared to the cheaper versions of you which is a online prostitute. Most men don't fall in love anymore that is another thing dying out. Not to mention that men and women are experimenting with homosexuality is at a all time high so a lot people even men will have sex with the same sex on the down low rather then spend big money on a free loading woman and gold digger.

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