So it's like, every time I turn on the radio, it's some song playing about Ms. Independent or some variation of Independent women. 'She got her own', 'She pays her own bills' blahblahblah. You go to the club and the DJ is like 'All my independent ladies who pay their own bills can I see your hands up?'... And you get some screaming juvenile looking women all hella excited to raise their hands. Come on sharrap thia! What is so exciting about paying bills? My paychecks are on some LIFO steez (Last in, First out for the none Accounting folk)...you wait 2 weeks for it to come and its gone in 2 days thanks to the yeye bills wey these women dey shout up and down for.
What else is so exciting about paying bills sef? Shey na bills... Anyone fit pay bills na. If you got a 6 dollar/hr job at Mickey Ds you still fit use that moni to pay at least a cell phone bill if nothing else.
Long story short, there is absolutely nothing exciting or exhilarating about paying bills so boooyah Neyo, Webbie and all related Independent women hypers.
I always find that people get to know me and eventually say things like 'You don't come off as a last born', and when I ask what they mean, they say things along the line of 'You don't exhibit the typical traits of a last born, you come off as so independent'.
Truth of the marra is that in some ways, I am your typical last born (I got away with a bunch of stuff growing up that my sister's didn't, and I'm ultimately still my mommy and my sister's baby girl) but on the flip, I always disclaim that I'm not spoiled or bratty. But that's beside the point... Today, I wanna discuss the 'Independent' bit.
I have pretty much done things for myself ever since I was about 20. My first year in Obodo Oyibo, when I was a wide eyed 17 year old was spent living with my relatives. As is the typical case with most JJC's from Naija and relatives in Yanks, things aint go too well and so my parents were forced to get an apartment for my brother and I. Along with the apartment, they funded our first 2 years in Community college and for that, I continue to hail them and I am grateful because I tell ya, changing naira to dollars is not a beans and rice steez at all, at all.
By the time I was ready to transfer to a 4 year college, I got me some Financial aid and so those free grants, student loans and various part time jobs/internships funded the rest of my college career. With a combination of those 3 sources of income, I paid my rent, bubbled and shuffled and bought my first car cash down at an auction (I was so proud of myself...hehehehe). Now, I have graduated from college and my lifestyle is now funded by a full time job as opposed to part time + school aid.
Original Mgbeke history 101 ends here.
Do I consider myself to be independent? Sure. I handle myself financially and have not relied on my parents or any one else for tha marra, for any kind of that assistance since the above mentioned 20-ish age. Do I run about screaming that I got my own (if not property, does enough clothes and shoes to set up a shop count? LOL) and I pay my bills? No way! I actually do not think that it's hard for one to be independent...shey na America? Unless your papa na one rich senator for Abuja, you ultimately will learn to handle your business ya damn self.
Do I like being independent? No way. I think it's hella overrated and I need a nice long vacation from being a DIY woman. I mean, I have never had the luxury of not working...3 months after I landed in America, I got a job and I have been working since then. Like hellooo, can someone come and free me? Like can I go to the rental office one day to pay rent and the employees will say 'Ummm wow, Ms. Mgbeks, your rent for the entire 2010 has been paid by a certain Mr...'. Bwahahahha.
That aside, must I do everything for myself? Haba! The other day Nice Anon blogged about women who claim independent and they can't change a light bulb or take their car to get serviced. I'm not guilty but it sho' would be nice to have someone to that ish for me, nahh meaannn. Let me go on vacay with a man who will cover the entire hotel + car rental + air fare, is it too much to ask?
Why I gotta hire movers when I move? Why can't one knight in shining armor swoop in with his homeboys and a Uhaul truck to handle my stuff while I siddon and cross leg. Like Beyonce go tok, all these ones na serious sweet dreams sha o, but it is good to dream my brothers and sisters. :-D
So guess what y'all? I am officially tired of that status and am now lying in wait for the next RICH man who falls within 500 yards of me 'cos I am sooo dragging him down the altar. Okay, okay...I will make an exception...if he ain't rich, he should at least be able to take care of me. Una think say I dey play, when I tell people that me, I just wan marry one rich man and be a full time housewife (with one correct buying and selling business on the side), I get the blank stare. Whachu blanking me for? If you wan go do corporate madam for a fortune 500 company, knock yourself out honey while I balance well well for my rich husband's house and dey send Blessing the househelp up and down, LMAO! No offense to any ladies named Blessing sha o...
I mean...picture this. I find the above mentioned rich man/care taker man, put a ring on it and proceed to put in my 2 weeks notice at my job like right after the honeymoon. Mortgage payment? What is that? Greek? My 2020 BMW will be paid for by him AND I even get a monthly salary for being a full time stay at home mama (my friend came up with this brilliant idea, and I am in full support i.e salaries for stay at home mama's)...after all, is it easy to carry 5 bomboys for 9 months each and take care of them + him, my darling hubby? 'cos trust me...in appreciation for wifing me up and freeing me from the burdens of doing it all for myself and paying my own way, I promise that he will always come home to a warm, freshly cooked meal (by me, and not Blessing :-p) + other err...marital perks. Hahahaha.
Don't side eye me and call me a gold digger o! In fact, you can go ahead and knock yourself out because like I said, while you are sitting in your house and gossiping about me...your mortgage payment is waiting to be paid and I will be relaxing in my PAID FOR house while Hubby and I plan that all expenses paid trip to Rome (Bahamas is for the peasants, my hubby will be taking me to exclusive places)..lmaooo. I crack myself up.
So umm yeah, the entire summary of this long tori is that...yours truly is ready to ditch the indy woman status and find her a nice rich man, and so if any of you know any fine, sexy, RICH and eligible young bachelors, you may kindly re-direct them to this blog.