Wednesday, December 7, 2011

On Weight, Body Type, and Related Yarns

Curvy women
I have always admired curvy women. I think that they just exude a certain level of sexiness. It seems that most guys see a curvy woman and thinks “child bearing hips = future mother of my chilluns” or “Damn! That ass is phat” and such things of that nature. Heck, me sef I’m convinced that if I was a dude, I would definitely be the type to gravitate towards the curvy ladies. I’m talking about the figure 8 type, with some nice thick thighs, and supporting endowments on the back and front. Nothing do them jare, curvy women are definitely sexy. For instance, much as everyone swears that ToolzO wears body magic, and is truly fat…I’m like whatever she is doing works very well for her, and I think that she is one hot chick with an awesome figure. Now curvy/thick is obviously very relative because I seem to be in the minority of individuals who do not think that ToolzO is fat, but apparently a number of folks do. To that I say…to each his/her own.

The funny thing is…most of the curvy women that I know want to lose weight. My friend who has that figure 8 shape and constantly has all the dudes panting after her, thinks that slim and trim women are so hot. I’m like are you serious? Dudes look at women like you and automatically classify you as sexy, without you even trying to do anything. Hiphop artists and rappers constantly compose songs that elevate women like you. Mayne, if I had her shape, I would rock the heck out of it. As a woman on the slim/non-curvy side of life, I highly doubt that most cats see me and the first thing that springs to their heads is “Whoa, she's sexaaay” or “her body is the business”…in fact, the other day I had to ask via twitter if there are any dudes out there who gats love for us non-thick ladies ‘cos I feel like the curvy ladies are what every guy talks about these days. I mean, everywhere you turn these days, dudes are pushing out tweets such as “no country for chicks with no nyash” or “A-cup chicks will die alone”, “Thick women rule, only dogs deal with bones” etc etc…LOL. Please, if you have figure 8 + endowments biko rock am well o. It’s a cold world on this side of life… *chuckles*.

Guys and their yarns
But while we are talking about guys and their constant yarniz on the internet...forget matter sha 'cos guys just like to yarnnn. A lot of dudes use social media such as Facebook and Twitter to state that they want this or that. I mean, peep this gist of body type...I swear, I've seen enough yarns from dudes who state that if a woman isn't thick, then no hope for her. In my opinion, all na tales by moonlight. Like I once responded to a dude and his "no country for a-cups tweet", you can evict us to the next country, but in the end you guys will still come to that country and marry us a-cuppers. I have a friend who is at most a size 2, with small boobs and literally no ass…I lovingly call her a chicken wing. But I swear to y’all that this girl’s game is on a kentro level. I always tease her and say that she lives that “Sex and the city” kind of dating lifestyle. Chick pulls dudes any and everywhere…pumping gas o, grocery shopping, sitting at the bar at T.G.I.F, crossing the street, walking into work... you name it. She is constantly going out on dates in her size 2 fabulousness. So, every time I hear of a new date, I chuckle and think… so much for dudes wanting to ship women like her to the next country. I bet half of the dudes who see her and ask her out, have stated on Twitter and FB that any chick they deal with had better have the type of booty that you can sit a cup on. Moral of the story is: If you’re the sort to take what guys yarn on the interwebs to heart, re-think your strategy ‘cos in my opinion all na yarns. If a guy likes you, he likes you...size 1 self and all.

Weight…in general
I have to say sha…I do enjoy the privileges of being on the slimmer side of life. I can walk into McDonalds and supersize 2 meals, and guess what…no one will give me the side eye. My 300lb counterpart walks into McDonalds, and probably already gets the judgmental stare before he/she places an order. I like my weight, and have no complaints about it (except for the fact that hip-hop artists do not dedicate lyrics to girls like me…can someone say discrimination???). I’m not the type to balk at a few lbs gained here and there, but I realize that the more I see some people and do the mental double take like “dayumm, what happened, he/she used to be so slim?”…I truly truly do not want to be that person. In an ideal world, I will remain a size 6 forever…post-kiddies and all. I don’t know about that sha, because while I’m currently blessed with having the type of body that allows me to eat a bunch of nonsense, and not gain much weight, I’ve been told countless times that this will catch up with me in the future… *gulp*.

In general, the the weight/body type topic is an interesting one, and it’s even more interesting to see everyone’s views on it. For some, the grass looks greener on the other side and for others, they are just fine chilling on their own turf. Some people obsess about their weight, and others don’t give it much thought. Whichever category that you fall into, nothing do you o jare. If you be orobo and happy with it, kudos. If you be lepa, and proud of it, kudos. If you’re an orobo wanting to turn into a lepa, good luck…and if you’re a lepa who wan turn into orobo, good luck to you too. Oh, I won’t forget the “in-betweeners”… make una keep on keeping on too o jare. Na one love wey go keep us together…
Okay, I obviously need to sign off now ‘cos I have started to yarn jagjagbantis.

Peace and Love.

27 comments:

Taynement said...

Who is this friend you speak of?:D

You are hilarious. I am a thick,curvy woman whose biggest critic is me. I appreciate what I have but man it sucks having to always be cautious and remember that this can go from thick to terrible fast.

I agree that men be yarning dust. They can sing praises to tits and ass all day but ultimately you don't choose a partner based on that. How you carry yourself is important too. I remember seeing this lady that was definitely not small but there was something about her, I just thought she was so gorgeous.

We are all beautiful in God's eyes:D

Mz.T said...

I agree! Mayne when guys talk those yarns about non-curvy girls I'm like "But if they off cloth in front of you, 'tory go change". Nonsense... I love my B-cups though, I feel like big boobs will just be too much load. :)

efimilejo said...

Lol at "no country for chicks with no nyash"
People de yarn sha

Up Shia! said...

In reality, we men have no specific preference in body size...we just like to think we do and generally have limits as to how "large" we'd go and how "small" would be too small....if that makes any sense.
Summary, we love y'all :)

mizchif said...

Ah well, we've already had this Toolz discussion so you know my stance *chuckles*

As for men and all their yarninz, na dem sabi. To me the most important thing is to be HEALTHY and be happy with your appearance.
As for being thick, curvy and what not, i think sometimes it's easy to be over it as the owner of the body because you're tired of guys seeing you and immediately picturing you bent over doggy style with that phat ass in the air. Not like i know anything about this first hand #justsaying
So that love the guys seem to have for full figured women sometimes is just serious desire to motorboat them titties and spank that ass.

Lemme go now before i continue this rated "R" conversation.

mizchif said...

Oh and IBTC representing!!!
Whoop whoop!! As long as Vicky's is still in buisness i'm good. All these ones complaining abt cup size shey na until time to off cloth reach na im you go know.

Ada said...

men on sunday I was yarning with one of my guy friends. he said he cant marry a thick chick because chances are she'll be fat after child bearing. He said he'll marry a small chick because by the time she has kids the fat will distribute nicely.lol
but like you said, all na yarns. when they find the one,whether A or Z cup, they will lock it down

Ada said...

oh but he"ll sha mess with a thick chick now for fun, bit no marriage. I am like damn

Nen said...

Funny read Mgbeks. With or without Body Magic, Toolz is sexier than most. Interesting how Nigerians on Twitter exhault Christina Hendricks all day everyday, they're both about the same size, no? And you best believe Christina spanx-s that shit up. Shit, even the size 2's in Hollywood do. Why should Toolz who's in the public eye, I might add, be held to different standards? Ok, this is starting to sound like an ode to Toolz. Imma halt righttt hereee lol.

Signed Size Anonymous :)

LohiO said...

Nice ones! I agree with men misyarning! Its especially annoying when you know their current girlfriends/wives and they are the total opposite of all the yarns they distribute on the inter-webs. SMDH!!!!

I like my thick/curvy frame a lot! The only downside like Tayne said is the constant fear of going from thick to fat in a milli second and the unnecessary attention you sometimes get from the men folk. It can get frustrating. At the end of the day, to each his own.

Third World Profashional said...

I pray everyday for curves, I literally eat like a horse because I'm trying to get bigger hips. Funny thing is my hips are 42 inches, which on a shorter girl would equal thickness but on my 6ft frame might as well be 32 inches. So annoying.

The A cup one, I've given up, sans plastic surgery nothing can give me the C cups I crave. Chicken fillets, a good push up bra and body contouring make-up are my best friends now.

Gotta fake it to make it.

Myne Whitman said...

Thickness may affect first impressions of how a guy views attractiveness in a woman but rarely determine it, or who they end up dating or marrying. As you say, all na yarns. My hips are OK, I think, wish my breasts got the memo too. But I'm not complaining.

As for Toolz, even me I droll for those hips, lol...

Mia Farraday said...

I've never been thick- going from suuuper skinny to slim now- and I swear how I feel about it used to change depending on what side of the Atlantic I was on. Here? I'd be happier than a pig in pie being able to wear the smallest size in the store. Then I'd go to Lagos and feel like everyone's poor cousin. Now, I've accepted my 'athletic' build- barring a divine miracle, nothing will give me childbearing hips. But, with age comes wisdom and I'm good with my body now. In fact, Ive named 2012 my year of yoga. I can't be curvy so I'm going to be lean and petite. (Amen. God, reward my hustle!)

R.One said...

Mehnnn i'll do fasting n prayer for 3months if i knew i'd grow some hips after to balance out my xxl chest :-(...burrum it aint gon happen so *stuffs face*...Lol!!

Ginger said...

Big ups to all the size 0s in the house. At least one a day I dream of being a size 12 for 20 seconds. thats all.

Guys will talk cos they know one thing most women are very sensitive about is their weight.
The koko is that 'sexiness' isnt defined by size, it comes from within. Be you a size 0 like the friend you described or a size 20 chic. You've got it, you've got it!!

p.s. I could slap the taste outta Monique's mouth for all the bitchy comments she makes about slim women..pfft

jubekee said...

Story of my life.i've always been a 10, boobs and ass to join. after 2 kids a size 14,boobs and ass increased too of course.on and off the weight loss wagon.hubby doesnt care as long as i dont loose the boobs and ass he says,in my opinion he doesnt care much abt the pounds.so finally its just me. i just recently began to embrace my size and carry myself with more confidence.
i think no matter the size you are if you have a flat tummy or close to it,you can pull anything off.

aeedeeaee said...

lool! No love for A cups?? Where in hades do men get these ideas? I've seen dudes go on and on about being an "ass man" and end up marrying a chinco assed femme.

i never saw my uncle with a chick who had less than a D-Cup but the got married to na B-cup!

i love my booteey to bits the only snag is i cant lose myself in the little delights of life without the fear of blowing up.

Lovely read nwanne..

Muse Origins said...

Exactly! Orobo or lepa, you're beautiful.

Adiya
Muse Origins
Muse Origins FB

Toinlicious said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Toinlicious said...

Ah, where have I been? I'm one of the lucky ones who got d lepa gene bt with ohsonice goodies dat are soo on point. Just wish I had a lil more flesh bt it seems lepa is wat I'm stuck with.

Anonymous said...

Really nice read Mgbeks...

Digging all you've said. Like most people mentioned, whether you're skinny, curvy or whatever, confidence is key... Per some men & their tweets, smh.. A la Toolz, yep, the chicks figure is banging. Love it..

Shadenonconform

Nefertiti said...

I agree with the folks who have said the fear of Going from fabulous to generally F@!ked up, is the beginning of wisdom.

For the most part, I feel awesome about how I look. I'm blessed to be curvy - A curvy size 14. I have other skinny wives that side-eye me as their husbands get the glint in their eye when I walk in the room. (PAUSE)I don't think I'm alladat, but I'm close #Can'tTellMeNothing :-D (PLAY) -I find this hilarious! Underneath all the confidence, I'd like to lose some 20lbs, but can't nobody tell me nothing when I go out. LOL

Bottomline, Rock whatchu got!

Hyperfashun said...

i totally agree with the "Guys and their yarns" part of this post. i know guys that say she must 2 get yansh, breast etc. At the end of the day come see who dem go marry. abeg xcuse my french.

nice post as usual

chungchi said...

My take is this. When a person has a specific body typr preference in d opposite sex, it's bcos he feels that all the perceptory signals gotten from that body type(looks/sight, sounds, taste,feel and smell.) Even d sixth sense is not spared.
It comes from a basic assumption that the "nicki minaj" kinda body will exude the best of "signals" and therefore is the best kind.
When they get a mind-blowing sex game from a bulemic ass, that's when they become followers of the "meat is sweetest when next to the bone" clan.
Summary: whether she's gat a tractor ass or an okada ass, its da efficiency, work done and the satisfaction u‎​ get that counts.....or to put it explicitly, the ratio of the diameter of the man's gonads to that of his woman's gender. i LOVE all women!!

SAZI'STOPSECRET said...

lol....i cnt stop laughing
http://sazistopsecret.blogspot.com

Geebee said...

You've said it all. "For some, the grass looks greener on the other side and for others, they are just fine chilling on their own turf." Personally, I prefer slim and tall women (but with well-formed frontage and backdoor). OM, it's been ages o! I don miss u! I know say all of una don run leave me as I take disappear na but mehn I 'think' I've come back home o. lol

People, THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES is back. Catch up on the latest episodes.

Hermes perfume said...

Weight issues had been one of the much talked about and most debated subject matter. All i can say is, just follow Adele's mantra.