Monday, March 23, 2009

Random blurts about men, relationships and the works.

Before I start with this random post of all sorts, I just want to thank whoever it is that nominated me for the 'Funniest blogger' category in the Naija Bloggers Awards. Me? Funny? I blush, I blush.

To be honest, I've been kinda clueless about this whole awards kini and so I wasn't paying too much attention to the going-ons. A fabulous chica was nice enough to draw my attention to the marra...(Shoutouts to Zi) and I just wanna say THANK YOU to whoever nominated me and whoever plans to vote/voted for me. *Takes a bow*

Now, make we enter the koko. Make we yarn the matter. I've been having all kinds of thoughts of the dynamics between men and women, relationships and the whole 9 yards and I figured, I'd share...

Blurt #1: Men have gotten LAZY...
Men have gotten lazy. They go to parties and post up against the wall...if you wanted to stand around and watch people dance, you should have stayed up and watched America's Best Dance Crew or something. When the ladies call them out on it, they say 'Do you know how hard it is for a man to step to a female and ask for her number? What if she rejects me?'

That my friends is nothing but pure laziness. I always think back to the days of our parents and although everyone is quick to remind me that this isn't the days of our parents, I still insist that these men need to learn from their fathers. In our parents days, our fathers were persistent. They chased after our mothers, and even went knocking on their father's doors in no time saying 'there is a flower in your garden that we would like to pluck'. :-D

Our mothers had plenty suitors because back in the day it seemed that men were willing to put in the work to bag the ladies. I mean, if y'all think I'm trippin' go back and ask your mothers how your fathers toasted them and come back and report to me.

In 2009, it is now a huge deal for a man to approach a woman and ask for her digits. They cook up all kinds of excuses, they feel they have too many options and in general they can't be bothered. So that leaves the ladies to do the 'work'. The ladies now have to trade places Usher style and approach the guys.

Well, let me tell you guys. In this same 2009, I still REFUSE to approach a man and ask for his number. Whaaat? Why should I? Before you know it now, women will have to start popping the question to men. *Rolls eyes*
Trust me, I'm as 'untraditional' as they come but when it comes to being approached, you can pretty much call me an ol' school village girl.

I believe when a man sees what he wants, he should go for it and he should go hard. So therefore, let ol' boy be the one to come at me and come hard. Don't get me wrong o, I'm not going to 'form' and give him a hard time because I am trying to test his love or whatever. Never that!
But at the same time, he should be the one to approach me and come at me in a seriously correct manner.

I know that some of my ladies are with me on this, and on the other hand some other ladies dey give me side eye thinking this 'babe dey jonz, be there waiting to be approached...all your mates go marry before you, e go do you like film show'. To each her own abi? I mean I'm not knocking ladies who approach guys o jare, na your way and it's admirably very bold but I no fit abeg.

Blurt #2: I hope I never turn into those girls...
Those girls! You know who they are, they go to events with their SO's and clutch 'em tightly/drape themselves across the SO in order to let the other ladies know that he's TAKEN. They perch daintily on their seats and smirk at you and your girls doing the dutty whine on the dance floor probably thinking things like: 'See these attention seekers, sorry he's taken' OR 'Awww, it must suck to be single and have to dance extra hard to get noticed around these parts'. I mean come on, you JUST know that's what they are thinking.
SO never leaves their sight...

Kini big deal? I've always thought of myself as pretty liberal and accomodating when it comes to an SO. Go off and do your thing with your peoples, and I'll do mine. I'm secure enough to know that you are MINE so I don't need to clutch you too tightly in my effort at sending messages across. I'm just saying...

Blurt #3: Ladies, when are we going to stop giving excuses for men?
I've heard of couples where the man moved across nations, seas and countries to be with his lady. That right there= True love and dedication.
So why are we trying to excuse the fact that his azz hasn't called in 5 days? Talking bout 'It's tax season and he's busy'.
Infact let me paraphrase what one very wise man once said: 'How busy can a man be? I bet he's not too busy to take a shit so while he's taking his 5 minute shit, he can call you'
He also added 'Even Barack Obama who was so busy campaigning all over the world found time to call Michelle, so no man can be THAT busy'.
Church!!!

If he's really into you, he will call and maybe the fact that he uses the excuse 'I'm not a phone person' as his reason for not might just be the hard pill to swallow:- He's just not that into me and there's no excuses for that one.

Blurt #4: It's recession out there for single gals.
Our mothers are saying stuff like 'Go out more often', 'Make yourself more available' etc etc. We are exasperated with this talk. Where else we wan go?... Fashion shows? check. Charity balls? check. Parties? check. Weddings? check. Truth of the marra is you might be the popular jingo in your city but it is getting harder to meet single, correct men. I once went to a wedding and the entire grooms train was boo'ed up, talkless of the actual guests. Na so so couples, couples everywhere.
Beautiful, accomplished women are wondering 'where is he and when will I meet him?'. My sisters, I can't say that I have any idea. You see, I quit wondering and asking that question when I realized what the 'market' was looking like. I did my post on the scarcity of males in the DMV and ladies from other hoods also complained about the scarcity of males in their cities.
The males aint forthcoming, the situation is looking bleak and like my friend said (she will soon come and accuse me of plagiarism..I dey paraphrase am o!)...'Whoever God has for me, he should personally deliver him to my doorstep in a Fedex box because I'm done sweating the situation'. Church!!! I say preach it, my sister.
Na real Fedex box e go be 'cos ummm yeah I step out of my zone with ZERO expectations i.e hoping to meet whoever. And in regards to putting yourself out there? I've started favoring spending my free time catching up on sleep/watching Naija movies so e go be real Fedex box 'cos the social situations aren't as appealing as they used to be o jare. Sorry Mama...
Hopefully the Fedex delivery guy is cute so that I can do eeenie meenie mani mo. :-D

Blurt #5: The single life isn't a bad life at all...
Piggy backing off the last blurt. We are getting older, we are moaning the lack of SO's. But let's think outside of the box. I can't say that I'm not liking my single life. Sure, I might have my moments of 'I'm singleeeeeee...waaaaaaa' now and then but in general, I have no complaints.

A couple of people said to me recently: 'You seem to be a real party girl, all the tagged pictures of you are at some party or the event' and I laughed and said 'Yes o, let me get my party on before someone marries me and frowns at me everytime I want to go out'. Hehehehe...no be so tho?
You get married and your 'me, me, me' mentality and lifestyle flies out of the window. You just can't up and head to Vegas with the girls. You can't shamelessly flirt with the boys.
I say enjoy your 'now' 'cos I really think that at some time if and when we get married, some of us will look at the young girls doing the dutty whine on the dance floor and feel a bit of nostalgia. C'mon it's like when we were in college and so desperately wanted to graduate and everyone said 'Trust me, you will miss your college days'...I scoffed at that like yeah right! Me miss college ke?
Let's just say that I am eating my words. Sometimes I do miss being a carefree college kid with no worries in the world. If I wanted to skip class 5 days a week, I could. I had spring break and summer vacays, I could party on thursday nights and somehow make it into class on friday mornings. I think that's how marriage might be, you may love it but you'll think back on the single days and miss the freedom that came with it. So while you're single and unencumbered, let's have a blast shall we? :-)

Blurt #6:- Be YOU!
I swear I am so sick and tired of reading 'rules' for what these men are supposedly looking for in a wifey. I've come to realize that you might be the high maintenance chick who doesn't cook for shi shi but if a man decide say na you hin want, na you hin go pick. Girls are losing their identities in this quest to be considered 'wifey material'. Maka why? In the end, he'll probably dump you and go with the girl who parties till 3am every weekend, the extra high maintenance chick who doesn't cook, basically the girl who is everything you tried not to be just to make him happy.
Ughhhh 'wifey material'. I think I officially hate that term. What the fudge is a wifey material? Psssst...these men will talk talk talk but in the end, dem go walk down the aisle with the exact opposite of their so-called wifey material chick.
Leave tori for tortoise, all that one na tales by moonlight. You just do you and if he likes your ring tone, I bet he won't give a hoot!

Blurt #7:- I've quit trying to figure men out.
I was reading the blog: Singeblackmale.net and some of the male perspectives were really like ????
Ladies complained about giving men their digits and the man never called and some of the men came in to say that sometimes they ask for the digits just to check and see if they still got 'it'. Huh? Are we in grade school??? That is the most juvenile chit ever.
Some people say that I constantly come off as being irritated with men, some have even called me a male basher and I insist that I am not. I just won't sit back and let the foolishness continue. Agbaya's are in the club trying to see if they still got 'it'? *SMH*
Infact, make I no talk again sef before blogger accuses me too.

Blurt #8:- Is being a 'good girl' overrated?
Have you noticed how the ones known as the professional headmistresses, head doctors and what not are getting boo'ed up/ringed up? Zena, remember how you spoke about how you be randomly hearing some chicks gist? Well...ditto. It's unfortunate.
Next thing you know, they are engaged or something and it's like wow! Whatever happened to men looking for the good, chaste, church going gals?
I mean, I realize that in this day and age men want a girl who knows her way around the bedroom but is knowing your way around the whole city's bedroom now the 'in-thing'. Goody 2 shoe ladies, do not lose hope. God dey!

Blurt #9:-It seems that the bratty high maintenance chicks are winning!
How many times have you seen some ridiculously bratty 'I called you 10 times, where the hell were you' kind of extra possessive chick with some really sweet guy and you're like na wa o!
I mean guys, I realize that some of you like to feel needed but na so e do you reach? I guess when one blows up your phone 10x back to back and bitches about you spending too much time with the boys, it means that she really loves you and doesn't want to spend too much time away from you. *shrugs*

I have no blurt #10. The blurt well dried up.

Till the next round of blurts...

Peace & Love

43 comments:

BSNC said...

yay i am first

JustDB said...

LOL @ yr newest rants......Maybe the whole guy-girl dynamic has changed - less available dudes, dudes who have lost the energy and the thrill that comes from a long running 'chyke and win' scenario and the like. so the dudes don't aks for phone nummbers, girls have to imprint their insignia on the guy, they condescendingly give brazen excuses for them, and the more aggressive practicioners win in the end.. Just maybe.. But i still think the good girls still win - but only in their niche market! My 2 pounds there!!!

BSNC said...

yes u deserve the nomination jor. yes to each her own, lol @let me get my party on before someone marries me and frowns at me everytime I want to go out'. Hehehehe...no be so tho... na so oo. abeg enjoy urself o. very nice blurt and soo true

bumight said...

tell me something! someone else noticed the lazy trifling asses! jeez, i was going to say nigerian men, but i say most men except HAITIAN MEN!

damn, i went to this haitian party, and the guys were actually dancing, asking pple to dance, it was just refreshing to be away from all that imma-lean-against-the-wall-and-let-u-grind-up-on-me foolishness!

and the high maintenance chicks seem to be winning cos the dudes in question seem grateful that she would go out with them!

im done!

Shubby Doo said...

the bratty high maintenance chicks are winning because our men are more bratty and definitely high maintenance too nowadays...they cannot be seen as being more vain than their women!!!

Nice Anon said...

Lmao! I feel sorry for any woman out there trying to figure out men. That is a complete waste of time. The whole good girl fasade is overrated because now everyone wan claim good girl.

U have said it all sha. Me like

*Diane* said...

woo!! Top ten./ brb . gone to read

*Diane* said...

Back! Love the post! and congrats on your nomintation. you're hilarious :-)
I aggree w/ all, but i second, and third blurt #6 and 7. There's so many outlets telling women to change this and that all in the name of finding a man. Now if its a bad or unhealthy thing, by all means please change it. But if its an aspect of yourself, absolutely not!!

Reverence said...

LOLLL!!! Mgbeke has killed me. where do i want to start?

my fav is "its tax season..lol" i was just talking to a friend about how guys really are lazy these days.little or no effort i tell ya

TayneMent said...

teeheee...

Blurt #10

After dem don do all their beating around the bush and hinting around with foolish behavior, basically telling you dem no want. What is up with men disturbing you and hollaring again, talking about, "just wanted to know how you were doing?" then "whatever happened between us?" or "I miss you". Umm, nucca you said you no want, I don moved on, why are you still at this station, cuz this train don left since.mmschew!

Chari said...

lmao

that was one loooong blurt....but you were definitely spot on with the things you said...Number 9 is the one that really takes the cookie for me...as in how now?

Temite said...

Hmmmmmm Mgbeke....u will not kill me with these your rants. pele now. Men are tired...just like you are tired. I think it comes down to this - Most women want a certain kind of Man and those Men are pretty scarce and since those men have a lot of options, they are not inclined to work harder to chase you or to keep you. Period. so how to change this - Reevaluate your wants or say fuck it and enjoy your single life. lol.

Bibi said...

ur are too much. lol. i feel you jare. for one, the guys these days are slacking. imagine all the stress in dressing up and showing up at a party only to have all the guys standing by the wall. WTF? and like you, i will not ask a guy for his number i'm sorry. now, i just go to parties to have fun. and i believe that when you purposely go out to LOOK for a guy, you won't find him but when you just let it be, he'll come

Zena said...

Mgbeke, I'm gonna have to start saying " I HAIL YOU" in all my comments cos girl, you ain't neva lied.

lol, which one na tax season again?

I agree with you, Men have become lazy, but do you think we women have over indulged them? they're used to that whole "one man to 5 women" talk, they know they dont have to work anymore like before

This your rant wants to make me rant shoooooo

Lurker said...

Preach Sistur. I absolutely detest the term "wifey material." Whenever I hear that term I just feel like smacking someone. Truth is there are NO RULES. Angel Gabriel fit even appear for a potential SO's and declare that the babe next door is the one and the bobo go still dem form dey think "yeah she is beautiful, can cook ihe'nile, graduated summa cum laude from Harvard, can carry herself very in social settings, is kind, family oriented...BUT her booty isn't big enough." So I hate seeing anyone's list of wifey material. And Taynement, you ain't never lied. Thank God for wise babes that do not fall for that crap.

Uchenna said...

YAY U UPDATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gurl I look forward to ur updates like a t.v show, lol.

anyways...

em. yes I COULd have sworn dat I had dat convo about MEN being LAZY with my gurlfriend like senior yr of COLLEGE!!!

wat is dat shit about???

like these Marrafackers should not even be considered MEN, because I don't care if we are in 2009 or 1889 my personal philosphy on me is this.

a real MAN should go about PURSUING a woman the way he PURSUES his financial goals....relentlessy!!

u don't say..hey I want to be rich and then expect money to fall on ur laps right? so why then do u expect ur MATE, ur PARTNER, ur RIB to just come to u and do all the work.

even the good book says that a woman can MARRY ANY MAN but a MAN must CHOOSE his woman.

so yes..any MAN out there that is waiting to be picked is a biatch in my book.

lol, I know I sound pissed, but dat ish irks me....I def. won't raise my son like dat.

anyways....

have u heard of the LIST? it's in my UPDATE...am still deciding if it works, but so far so good. kinda weird though, lol.

but no really, I believe we all get in "ours" in due time...

as for figuring out men...I give up, I even at one time but a seduction book, but em...dats another story. All I got for trying to understand them was a HEADACHE.

at the end of the day we're all human. if some sorry ass nucca wants to see if he's still got it, dats his lame ass life he's wasting not mine. those dat play silly high school games play themselves.

anyways CONGRATULATIONS on the NOMINATIONS!!

Lol, if u think man-huntin in yankee is hard, u don't even want to know da madness that is going on down here...JUJU, manofGOD, prayerwarriors, and watnot. LMAO!

U can't even let ur gurls meet ur man till ur weddin day cuz these hefas are PSYCHO!

lmao

Rita said...

I so feel you on blurt 3 and 5...Me, I knew how to make excuses when I am hurting deep inside.

Congrats on the nomination...

Anonymous said...

"...Psssst...these men will talk talk talk but in the end, dem go walk down the aisle with the exact opposite of their so-called wifey material chick..."....SO TRUE!!!

wordmerchant said...

i am with you in being yourself.Some guys want us to be chefs, mothers, bank accounts ( i hate those ones) as well as porn stars ..................silly goats.

As for the bratty chicks..the men that marry them deserve all the inflictions that they will pour on their heads. Match made in heaven :)

wordmerchant said...

Congrats on the nomination...you are tres funny :)

Geebee said...

Your random bursts definitely make some sense evn though I wonder why you decided to go so hard on the men. I believe guys have finally 'sojied' themselves and as such we want to be sure we're going to actually eat our cake and have it. lol. Guys . . . Of course you deserve to be funniest blogger. I hope my vote counts. Your name alone 'Original Mgbeke' should win you the title. lol

Little Miss Dainty. x said...

BUT wanting to know where you S.O is if you've called them a couple of times isn't exactly bratty or high maintenance is it??!!
Or maybe I'm just feeling guilty cos i *might* have done that to mine :O)
Or maybe you're just saying that because you are looking from the outside in and we all know what they say about things being easier said than done and stuff.

Blanche Truffle said...

It's true good girls are no more a commodity. It's like we're a liability and I know who is to blame. It's those girls that make the moves and are down for anything. They make it so easy for the boys that the boys don't even want to bother anymore. They're even the cause of the laziness.
Blame them.

Tay-mee said...

haha. ur blurts/rants are always on point!! and i totally agree with no6..noone seems to get tht anymore!

bob-ij said...

lol..these your blurts are very serious o!...What's with "those girls". Schewww...leave them.

As for the guys being lazy, help us out now..ah ah. We are victims of this in these parts...I asked a friend about this and his reaction was, "So when they guy goes to meet the girl and the girl gives him yawa, Everybody, even the girl will be laughing at him."

So he kinda has a point..I know I laugh at guys that receive "Ela" regardless of the swagga!

x!

Paris said...

Very true!!

Paris said...

are u a gemini?

Paris said...

Btw i once tried the "approach a guy first" thingy cos i was feeling liberated. lol
Lets just say it was a wrong move! Just ain't my ish! i'm sorry! maybe when i'm 40 and still single. As for now, ALLOW IT!

Oh!! Last week, i went off on this guy that has been hitting on me for years cos he asked me a dumb ass question. He was like ....
"Soo do you think you're a wifey material?" and i'm like...
"WTF is that?? A question?? abeg! my fave movie is on jare, catch ya larra" hisssssssss i swear naija guys go about acting nigerian movies all d freaking tym and i am about sick to death of their nonsense.
I shall begin the Akata guys exploration..actually i have begun! lol then Oyibos are next. OR i just may explore both at the same time..ya digg?? lol Being single is cool jare except on valentines day lol.

rethots said...

*whispers* OM, can i have your no.?

Afrobabe said...

I am seriously hoping men in naija are the way I left them....

babajidesalu said...

hello,

1st time here...wow...those blurts of yours heh?

I share in your sentiments that men ought to do the toasting, if not, what happens when it grows into marriage? The lady would be expected to continue what she started.

Nice posting, quite enjoyed it.

I will certainly be back.

You are invited to check my diary.

God bless

Buttercup said...

LMAO..

I always feel bad when i read posts like this cos im in a relationship..lol....on the real tho, i was once a single sister so i can relate to some extent..

*walks away silently*

SouLBoutiQue said...

Man your post was longer than mine. I could comment on this post for days! I even have a post coming up labeled the scene. Anyway. Guys are confused human beings but we girls are just as confused! And the DMV scene is not the scene anymore its hopeless. No singles and the girls have changed the demographics of dating! Approaching men! Pluesse! Too fly for that, did it once never again! Not me! No sir! And press females and their men. If u are like me most of their men are cheaters! If u see me in a party during easter pull me to side and u will see parties through my eyes. What else single girls come to jand, infact go to nigeria! Lol as per the singles. Their are a lot of guys good guys that are looking for babes in md oh! Please believe! And wifey material is bullshit! (Excuse my french) bad girls always, ALWAYS get married. One of my guy paddies said it best, "all these girls ho-ng around will one day get married! Shoot my momsi could have even been an aswheo!" I was laughing in shock....but sadly its true. I am tired of being a 'good girl' lol. Good post. I thought u were in my mind!
Ag

DeeDee Brighton said...

lmao!
love it
x

olu said...

First things first, you DESERVE to win the funniest blogger award.

If there is one thing you have got a knack for, it is being on point. Always hitting the nail on the head - and hitting it correctly. I won't agree with you too much, as I be guy too. LOL!

Ms Sula said...

Sisi mi... Interesting blurts...

But some of those blurts seem a bit contradictory to each other, no? Like take Blurt #8 and blurt #6, if doing "her" is being sexually open-minded then it's a bit normal that she attracts people for the long run, no?

By the by, men still DO chase women. They just chase the ones they are interested in. Bottom line is if a man is not chasing you, he's not that into you. And by chasing, I don't mean the woman playing silly games of cat and mouse but rather the man putting in the effort to keep the relationship alive and well.

All in all, it's fun to read. The most important blurt to me is Be YOU. There is nothing else and better than that. Also, the single life is the shortest part of life anyways so we may as well capitalize on it!!

Funny post.

MPB said...

men word at blurt#9, so many of my guy friends have gfs that just keep disrespecting their ass especially in public. The tin just dey mae me wonder no be small..

wordsmith said...

oh my God I am so with you on every single one of this. Me i am now on a man diet o. lol. I still like men but I need peace in my life

Zi said...

Yay! You shouted me out :). I feel UBER special. You aren't a man-basher jare.. you're just telling it how it is. Guys nowadays are misbehaving BIG TIME. Unfort., I blame the desperate, SUPER thirsty chicks for this. It's simply unnatural to approach men. I have a friend that's always encouraging me to go after guys and stake my claim in what I want. I'm like... "AKWARD!" It'd feel so weird.. Idk, just my pov sha. It works for some babes I just don't think it works for me. I just feel like guys are ALL about the chase...if you take that away, their interest in you will be just as fleeting. They'll be busy trying to bag the uninterested babe (am I making sense).Besides, I don't feel like guys like aggressive women...unless it's for one night..then they're all for them :D. Anyway, great post. Well said.

miz-cynic said...

unfortunately i only just started reading this blog .it was recommended by rethots unknowingly...and men! i dey feel u gan ni my sis,we also seem to have some things in common....i 2nd ur no 1-9 men...norin do me.....ill improve a bit of my feminists traits but thts as good as it gets , if u no gbadun me,u no gbadun me period!my own gbadun-er will come along.pschewww

miz-cynic said...

afrobabe,u wish!

FashionCritic said...

Amazing post!

You know bratty girls aren't winning nothing... Virtuous women are still in high demand (low supply, lol) and nothing's ever gonna change that.
If you look into the 'bratty' or 'slutty' girl's relationship, there's probably more pain than gain OR the dude's just with her for other reasons, e.g. sex, money or something...

ninnisworld said...

Preash it! Especially @ Blurts #1 and #5.
P.S just discovered your blog so I'm giving it a run-through.