Friday, April 24, 2009

I rep Naija.

I was lurking on Nefertiti's blog one day and I noticed that her mental perception of me, among other things was 'Naijacentric'.

E mi ke? Naijacentric?
I have never considered myself to be the commander in chief of promoting all things Nigerian. Infact, at this stage I am one of those people who have no grand plans of moving back to Nigeria and turning things around, as most of my peers appear to do.

But I love and miss my home. There is truly no place like home!

I was driving on the '95 one day with my dearest mama who came to visit, and she grumbled 'why do you follow these big trucks so closely'?
To which I laughed and said 'Hmmm mommy if this was Naija now, that truck would have 10 men sitting at the back staring right at you, and some Christian slogan like 'No weapon formed against me shall prosper'
No be so?

These are a couple of things that I love and miss about Nigeria/Being Nigerian.

  • As I said on Nice Anon 's blog the other day, only Nigerians will come up with all kinds and sorts of yabs. 'You are nothing but a hanging pant under my feet'...abeg o! How does a hanging pant end up under your feet? OR 'Please go and brush your teeth before talking to me', 'Idiot of no economic value'...ha niile. Bwahahahahha, Nigerians will not kill me with these yabbis oooo. Shuoooo.

  • Nigerians are cocky and arrogant. We act like say na our papa wey dey run the show, I mean can you guys imagine if Barack Obama had Nigerian roots as opposed to Kenyan roots? Chim O! We for no hear word again for this America. I remember those college days when we'd go for our African Students Association meetings, as soon as Naija peeps enter the room you go know. Loud ass mofos! You just can't help but love it.

  • I miss the general hustle and bustle of Naija. Abusing/Cursing out Okada men who try to hit your car, and God forbid you're a single woman driving a Mercedes Benz, na so the Okada man go tell you say 'Ashewo, you no even dey dey ride big man's benz' in the dodoyo would assume that na Ariztos runs wey land you that kain fine car. Like I said, you can't help but not love those yeye exchanges when you sit and think about it.

  • I miss boli and fish, authentic suya (Not this overpriced chit they sell here), buying sweet agbalumo on the road (remember how they said that if you chew the skin, it will turn into gum?), Mr. Biggs fried rice...yummy! And all those tasty goodies that even if dem get am for obodo oyinbo, it just tastes so much better back home.

  • I miss hearing those bus drivers shouting 'Aba road, Aba road 10 Naira' (PH standup!) but I don't miss actually getting on the bus and then the yeye conductor would be collecting money and say things like 'Psssst, fine girl...wey ya money?' , I actually do miss the Okada rides sha. In Uni I used to enjoy taking Okada from the main gate to my department...woohooo, breeze go just dey blow well well...Shuoooo I no go front o jare.

  • I miss the generosity of my fellow Nigerians. Uncles and Aunties would come to your house and 'raise you' or 'sponsor you' with money for no in 'take this N10,000 for transport'. Abeg which kain transport dey cost N10k? Na to carry that moni catch 'drop' for 1k and pocket the remaining N9k o jare. As ladies, if you went out with guys, it was always a guarantee that you never had to reach into your own pockets to pay for jack! Infact ehn, the Christmases wey I dey enter Naija...I hardly ever touch the money that i carried as pocket money. Sponsors just plenty...Abeg awoof dey good o jare, no look me with that kain side eye. You know you miss it too.

  • I used to enjoy going with my mom to the market to shop for my school provisions and pricing the goods. All those Aba boys would say stuff like 'Sister, come now...I get am for my shop. Which one wey you want? And then they would try to inflate the price of the good of course, to which my mother would start pricing down. 'I go pay N500 o', Aba boy would respond 'Mba Aunty, 55o na my last price'...then my mother would get up like she wanted to walk away and Aba Boy would call her back...'Oya Aunty come back, I go collect 500'. Classic!
    Or is it the Aba boys that would try to sell baffs to you? 'Sister, come na I get one fine pedal pusher wey dem just send from London, the thing go just match this ya yellow leg well well' or 'Aunty, come see this hipsters for my store...I go give you special price for am'

  • I miss the most basic things like going to buy phone credit from the girl across the street, knocking on people's gate and asking 'Is Mary at home?', all the househelps and drivers with names like Comfort, Peace, Blessing, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday...LOL

  • I used to enjoy going to bend down boutique sha. Again, no frontin'...if man pikin can shop at the thrift stores here, why sleep on bend down boutique? Yo, Oil Mill market in PH had some of those good finds. But the heelarious thing was as per we dey form big ghelz we would hella wake up extra early to enter that side plus all the really good stuff was usually gone by noon, and man...if you saw other chicks that you knew na to quickly duck into the nearest stall and wait for them to pass. The next day, na to rock the baffs well well and when people asked 'Cute top, where did you get that from? you would just bone face and say 'Oh this? I got it from Collectibles'. LMAO...why was Collectibles like the ultimate place to shop sef?

  • I actually miss those Mama put peeps. Yo, don't give me that look...when you go to Uni in Naija, you end up doing a bunch of stuff that you might have otherwise frowned upon. I remember those days between lectures where we would have long breaks. Na to enter back gate and hit up Aunty K to get some of that good ol' authentic food! Takeaway of course, you know say gbo gbo big ghelz like us can't be caught eating the food in the spot. We'd take it back to someone's room and dig in....ahhh memories.

  • I miss partying in Naija. I still say that the social scene back home is wayyy more popping than this ish around these parts. In reference to Uni again, I swear we used to go clubbing on some very random days. Like who goes clubbing on tuesday night? lol. But yo, why did I just have this memory of those random parties that I attended while I was in secondary school and they would do the 'all boys out'. Hahahahaha, oya male bloggers make una come confess o! Which of you wey dem bounce after 'all boys out'? Oh and for anyone who is lost, all boys out was pretty much something that was done at parties where the male to female ratio was greater so the organizers would call 'all boys out', pretty much bouncing all the dudes out of the party while the chicks waited inside and then only the correct guys/correct looking guys/friends of the host were let back in and the wack dudes/inshi men/chewing gum boys had to find their square root.
LOL. I miss home for real.
So, what do you miss about the homeland?


Nice Anon said...

I'm sooo first!

Nice Anon said...

Ha hahahahahahahahahahaha. You will not kill me this chic! Udara will becoming chewing gum after a while too!
Bend down is where it is at! No shame in admitting that either. Plus that scent wey hin dey always get. kai!

That pocket money thing na the same mentality wey i carry this side. As no body give me money na so i run go get small job for back then in high school

LMAO@ Sunday, Tuesday etc. I tell you eh.. the thing tire persin. Which kain name be that sef? Polycap or all these English names wey dem go dey pronounce wrong. Sophia go don turn to

I also miss going to the market. That time my mumsi go tell me sey make i tell them to give me that tomatoes 3 for 10 naira. When i go there and do that they will say" taaa nwata gbafuo" " Bargaining like an old woman" lol

Infact, I dey feel this post on soo many different levels. Kai!

Original Mgbeke said...

Nice Anon o. I just dey laugh as I dey type up the post. Yes o, those Bend down baffs always had a really sweet scent. I wonder why.
One time I was actually patient enough to try the Udara thing and it worked, it took a while though.
LOL @ Polycap, all those catholic names. Too funny. Or Bartholomew...I just weak sha.
LOL @ taa nwata gbafup, dem go tok say this babe wan use Igbo sense to chop tomato today.

Glad you're feeling it. I gosta enter Naija this xmas sha. I don dey feel homesick, plus my momsie has really put the idea in my head.

Repressed One said...

LOL, naija gives you one kain automatic turn to jaguda on the streets mehn

which one boli and fish? chei, that combo na waya!! lol. "They said" ke? you never chop udara sotay e turn to chin-gum? lol that na the way na.

But babes, i don't miss going to the market oh...chei na every two two days me dey go market for my house...see 'slapping' kai!!

I miss slapping/wakaing up and and my pipus bin dey waka die!!! chei. Now everybody don turn bigz gals. mschew

Mama put/bukateria food was were it was at jare. I miss the hot ghana/agege bread. Ewa agoyin and bread off the streetz...

enuff memories mehn.

Mgbekes, your new posts take like a day plus to update on [my] blogroll...weird!

naija shawty said...

i narrowly missed the medalled 'commenters'. serzly, i miss bargaining and pretending to leave a shop so dat the seller wud reduce the price.
naija, that place is just too much mehn

Original Mgbeke said...

RepressedOne: For real! Street Ninja. I no mind the market at all, at all...infact I dey like am when those Aba boys go say 'Sister sit down' and they would buy you mineral make you cool head small.
But I HATED the meat market aka Slaughter.
Bia, you never chop boli and fish ke? That one na the way o...add some palmoil to am sef. *mouth watering*
Mannn we used to do mad waka jugbe runs in Naija sha...memories for real!
Chei, your blog roll no like me o. e reach to beat am!

Naijashawty: Man, that naija fit bargain anything. Infact ehn, if to say man pikin fit bargain school fees, that one for be the ultimate. Imagine your father in the principal's office talking about 'Oga sir, abeg wetin be your last price'. Lmaooooooo

Nice Anon said...

Hehehehe. Imagine telling the Principal make hin reduce de price small.Na bouncing wey dem go bounce you comot office. Plus your levels for school go just depreciate fast fast.
Remember sef sey dem dey chase pipo wey never pay school fees comot class the day of the exam.

All that waka waka wey persin do for naija na hin make we all dey in shape. na so i just enter naija in 06 every body just dey yarn sey i don gain weight. And dem no dey take style tok am ooh. Na "Nice Anon! Obara Jesus!! Ibuchala oooh" " Ibu anaghi ewu" Meaning fatness no dey in vogue. I bin wan wound persin! No be sey i fat ooh and i come tell the babe make she dey dia as per kwashiokor no dey in vogue either! Nonsense and condiments!
E be lik sey i go enter Naija this xmas too. Make we dey see sha.

webround said...

lol. home sweet home.
two weeks ago, i was telling my mum i missed suya, and garden egg with gnut like mad.
taking okada within campus was great (with the breeze blowing on you). but i hated taking okada within the city, especially at garrison. and ph was the first city i saw where okada people will carry 3 passengers at the same time.

Danny BaGucci said...

Original Mgbeke.. Might these be the reasons why you chose that moniker?

Ahn.. the Mama Put....... I'm so heading back to Naija sharpish!!!

Quaggar said...

Your post's hilarious.

Reminds me of the yambeans joint i frequented so much in uni...

Nigeria's a unique country my dear. We're too much.

Original Mgbeke said...

Nice Anon: Oh no you didn't. Had me rolling thinking of those people who got chased out 'cos they didn't pay their school fees. Talk about serious mess up, your rep was gone forever. Maaaan Naija people and tact sha, and they will let you know o. 'Wow, you've added' , 'you're now fat o'. LOL
I hope you make it back this year o jare.

Webround: Choi! Garden egg. Yummmmy, it tasted so good with the peanut sauce. Oh so you be PH pesin sef. I hail you o! Eh eh big ghelz like me no fit catch Okada for PH city o, you fit run into any and any body abeg. :-D
Garrison was a true mad house.

DannyB: Dang, I keep trying to hide the razzness but seems like I'm not being very successful. :-(
Make dem no carry Mamaput sell you o! Mr.

Quaggar: Those kain joints dey correct past at some odd hours of the day, and I say the food taste reallyyyyy good. We are truly unique!

mizchif said...

My dear, i miss all these things sooo much.

Yay for places like Tej (as per ajebo consign, i cannot write TEJUOSHO) Ah ah, shey becuase oyibo ppl call their own second-hand vintage, no mean say our own too no good. I also wonder why collectibles was the gold standard then? Very yeye store!

I miss the crazy driving, cursing ppl out, shopping in traffic, eating gala and lacasera while on a long ass bus ride. Travelling to another state in one of them Edo line or Edegbe buses and all the funny ppl you meet on such trips.

Simple things like buying bread and egg in VI, or agege bread in Lagos island.

Chai, why have you done this to me this monday morning ehn? Now i want to go home!

Tori said...

Shebi Udara and agbalumo are one and the same?

Abeg, fall back with that Oil Mill sturves, as a Lagos babe,I refuse to partake in such activities! Ah ah! Then one KC/A-Hall fine boy will pass me there in his fada's V-boot? Chei. I no fit.

Gosh, PH sha. EVERYTHING you couldn't be caught dead doing in Lagos was the forte of the bubblers in PH.

And I HATE HATE HATE the market. You are giving me nightmares. And that meat market? *faints from the smell*.

O'Dee said...

I'm in 9ja now so there's nothing to miss, but when I was away I missed AWOF cash and trips.

You hardly get AWOF abroad, if you get its from someone who came visiting from Naija.

BSNC said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BSNC said...

Na so , you get the truck thing. i will be like why this people dey look me naow..

lol which one be idiot of no economic value.. i don't know any yabbis again o. when people curse me, na so i go dey think..

i miss suya too :(

lol breeze go just dey blow.. i used to be scared of okadas (but you gats to do what you gats to do)..

lol collectibles indeed. babe you summed it up oo. wen you enter uni, you must try that mama put o( and their food can sweat). My cousin tell me say dem dey watch their nyansh inside lol, i no enter there for a month, but i still reach the side later

i miss naija too much. hopefully i go reach there this xmas, so you be PH babe.. ona mouth bad sha( for all the yabbis). my grandpa stays in PH too

okay this one don turn post. yea how come i didn't see this update yesterday..

justdoyin said...

oh home, sweet home...was gisting with hubby n a friend over the weekend about naija n I mentioned that I miss being asked "aunty, what would you like to have for lunch?" by the cook, and being chauffeur driven on abuja roads...n b4 u start thinking I'm a butter-kid; I also miss flying the bikes in Lag, to avoid the traffic, and "pricing stuff" b4 buying...

No, I never liked going to the market with my mum...she would go round the entire market, pricing stuff to the barest minimum, under the "hot sun"...

I also miss eating at/getting takeouts from eateries, u know those naija fried/jollof rice, chicken, fish, moi-moi, salad, etc...

oh girl, I miss "dash" oh...when a "big" uncle/dad's friend comes around, we just naturally expect them to call us when leaving and say "take this 10k" or during festive seasons, 20k and above...

oh, I miss home...if only all the facilities here were available and/or constant back home...

Beulah! said...

Aww nice..u leave me reminiscening about uni too. Good 'ole days. But forget oh!, those Aba boys are terrible, they can be rude!!...they will just be pulling u left right & centre to come patronize annoying!

*Diane* said...

Aww men, i miss suya.
And i wish i could relate to all the other sturves, but i can't because i left for the states when i was 9....
i did ride okada though,and when i was like 15, i told my parents that i wanted a motorcycle. they looked at me like i was crazy.
But i remember the names tho...lmao

Tay-mee said...

lmao..I cant lie I can only relate to the agbalumo story and kai I cant imagine if Obama was Nigerian oh..JESU..hmm I recently got an email claiming Obama is Nigerian, they were like his real name is Obamaoluwa..lmao we can claim ehn!

Oh and I'm yet to go on Okada oh, one day one day sha but fear wont allow

olu said...

This Lady!

* I remember phrases like "morrafucking-nigger-bastard" "beast of no nation" etc etc.

I still do all these things except, just that my relatives are not that generous & I almost never go to parties. LOL!!!

Nice one! You're now in the elite club of my favourite bloggers. I dey feel you.

Naked soul said...

..........and u just made me really homesick. i miss the food!!!!

Original Mgbeke said...

MizChif: Ya know! Thinking about it, that collectibles was just filled with cheap looking stuff. Which one be Lacasera again?
Sorry my sister, let's all be homesick togeraaaa. lol

Tori: Lmaoooooo. This babe you don bring your lagos posing to my blog. All you Lagos peeps sef, I wither for una. You know you loved how we PH folk just did the darn thing without caring, no shakings that KC/A-hall boy will love me by force. :-D

O'Dee: Yarraming! I recently hung with someone visiting from Naija and he was so nice and generous, I was like chei why can't our Yankee brothers be like this na? Awoof sweet ooo!

BSNC: Ah, you know we PH folks just dey yarn Opaks any and any how but it's all in good fun though. Yes na, like I said as per Big ghelz we can't be found in the Mamaput joint, but we still dey chop well well sha.

Doyin: I feel you jare, me sef I miss being chauffeured around by 'Sunday', and having 'Comfort' wash my clothes occasionally. Sha, this end does make one pretty independent. No place like home!

Beulah: Yes indeed, sometimes you would go home and just hop in the shower 'cos 10 people's hands don grabbed you any and any how. Me I no sabi where their hands had been o...Mchewwww.

Diane: lol @ wanting a bike. Hey, maybe one of these christmases you will go and visit and see some of worramtalkin' about.

Taymee: My first time I was scared, and then I found it oddly exciting. It's not that turrble!

Olu: Please don't crack me up here! LOL, afi 'morra fucking nigga bastard'. Yabbis sha ooo. Awww to not so generous relatives, me thinks it's because you are a dude. You know we ladies dey chop pass una.
Thank you very much, I am truly honored. *Takes a bow*

Unnaked Soul: Sorry ehn, maybe a trip to the Africa restaurant will temporarily hold you over? :-D

Ada said...

my almost inlaw..chei.
I am here dying of laughter and feeling all mushy cos I miss home..
cos everything was on point..some serious nolstagia..

Kate said...

I miss the smell of rain in the air...that arrrggh i dont know how to describe the smell of the sand right after the first drops of rain.
I miss the innocence..
I miss laying down in the parlor under the fan being powered by semi-quarter current listening to my dad telling stories about anything
I miss the banana and groundnut from the woman on that corner in agbara..

Nice Anon said...

Kate: I feel you on the rain smell. I just miss that.

I miss playing in the rain

I miss climbing my mango, guava, and orange tree even though those have prick things wey dey chuk ya body.

I miss riding okada. better believe i was hoping that thing when i went home last. I just tell them to take it easy sha. Oh make i give you small gist about that.. My friend and I bin enter okada and as we don dey go next thing the okada started making du du du noise, slowing down and okada man just dey feign innocence like hin no know wetin dey happa! Only to come find out sey the man bin know sey hin no get fuel for de tin. Can you imagine? Naijaaaa eh

I don't miss the sun, nor the waka waka, nor the half

Bibi said... are nothing but a pant hanging under my shoe abi how you talk am? very funny. i also miss partying in naija. there ain't nothing like it.

Original Mgbeke said...

Ada my loff aka my A.I: My dia maybe we go fit enter that yard this xmas season o. I am homesick for real.

Kate: I miss the innocence and the banana and Gnut. I no miss that half current shaaa. Very annoying nonsense, like Nepa if you wan take am just kuku take the whole thing now.

NiceAnon: O girl you too much o, you tok say na chuku chuku. LMAO, I think I have met my match. You dey mind those Okada drivers? The guy wan leave you stranded for hot sun. Shuoooo.
I think the summers here are worse than Naija sha. Or maybe it's just me.

Bibi: As a Uniben babe, I suppose say you sabi how e dey for that end.

Nice Anon said...

Eh isi gini?? Summers here are gini? My sista maybe because na ya side ooh but for mai side e no bad reach naija own. I think the sun is closer to the earth there.

I miss our neighbours that had a little shade telling us to come and buy coke from them because it is cold. Ojuru oyi! Akuko for wia? The other pipo had a freezer and it was much colder so i go send my little sister and when she dey pass their house she go hide the coke under her dress. Thinking about that now.. na my money ooh wetin consign dem? I want a cold drink!

Original Mgbeke said...

LOL! Nice Anon, keep 'em coming. Your memories are too funny. Men see how we dey drink coke any and any how for this Obodo Oyibo. My mother used to lock the coke up 'cos she would buy a crate and it would be gone in 2 days. Now we just dey guzzle am.

I miss how visitors would come, and we would send the househelp to go to the Mallam next door and buy them mineral, and remember how you had to carry an empty bottle or make sure you return their bottle. Kai!

Nice Anon said...

I remember the first time i came here and i rushed to iron my clothes incase Nepa takes the

Yes those bottle things eh. Speaking of bottles, did you guys ever sell your old bottles to recycle folks? They would shout/sing "bottles bottlesssss, bottles, condemned slippers aluminum for saleeeeee" Kai!
I need to blog about my child hood memories . Make i no dey take up your blog.

Original Mgbeke said...

LOL! Girl, I no mind at all. Your memories cracked me up. I will certainly be looking forward to that post.
I really laughed out loud at your rushing to iron in case they take light. Abeg no kill me with laugh for here.
No o, we never sold the bottles but see war cry na...'bottlesssss'. LOL, speaking of Aluminum, na so we dey do wording competition and we go yab pesin say 'Ya papa dey wear Aluminum pant'. Nice anon, it is too late to be laughing like this. Biko do that post so that me kwa can be all up in your comment box, mad memories man!

Tinu said...

LOOOOOL!I miss home too!lol @the buses with the scripture stickers!and there was one stew Iya Bose to die for!and another lady that used to sell Akara!!!Im salivating!!

Smaragd said...

OMG! Original Mgbeks, I should've known!

for some reason, i got u confused with Tigeress for a second and was wondering why Tigeress was writing like u...lmao!

of course, only u would bring back memories like these and make me wey dey Naija sef wish to come back to Naija! lmao!

Naija is the ish mehn, BUT all those free monies usually come to a stop once u start working o. my uncles and aunties just don't send my side anymore jo.

Bend down in Lag for "touche" babes was in Yaba (Tej) mehn! as in, all the latest baffs just somehow landed in that market and u would be wondering how come! person wey just come from Jand and person wey no leave lagos go dey wear thesame clothes, new season sometimes o! lol. Not anymore though, old things have passed away.

Smaragd said...

lemme make u salivate: I had Suya last week, kilishi over the weekend, Mama Put last week.

Ms. Royal Reigns said...

LOVE THIS POST! As I much as I rag on my dear country, if someone gave me 1 grand at this moment, I would just book a ticket to go home. No joke. I miss that country. It annoys the hell outta me but some of my best moments came from that country.

Anywho, you saying "Collectibles" just brought back this crazy memory: I was heading back home for Xmas and a friend was like, "Aww, you're going back home? You're so lucky. Please, can you buy me a dress from Collectibles? They have better stuff there than over here." I gave her this kind side eye like, was the chick for real? Oh, she def was. LOL! You know someone misses Naija when she claims that the clothes from freakin' Collectibles were better than some stuff she has seen in Marshalls.

Zena said...

That's one of the reasons half my heart is still in Nigeria, I miss random runz

I even miss Nepa, I swear, *sigh*

RocNaija said...

Abeg you go need to tell me your secret..How you dey go naija no spend money wey you carry go?
I always have to call to collect Western Union control numbers wheil I'm there..

I miss sleeping while it rains heavily outside... and those unilag girls...

okkkkk.. I was kiddin about the last part.. :-)

faB!! said...

lol............ this is so funny and memory filled.
I love Nigeria. I love my Nigerian people. I miss it.

i miss hearing those name too....
sunday, Monday, Friday, Faith, patience,!
Nigerians can give names!! lol!

I miss that its like summer all year round. No worries about getting a 15°F.
You wear summer clothes all year round!!! :)

*Abeni* said...

Oh my days!! i almost burnt my mouth with the food i was eating cuz of laughter!
The conductors were always such a trip!! and them stretching over you with their smelly armpits to collect money..eww
Mr Biggs fried rice, standard! every morning on my way to computer school had to stop and buy
and the tejousho aba guys, probing and touching you every 5 secs and last but not least iwaya rice ladies!! sweet food..

I miss having a driver although i don't miss the hot traffic.

nice post, def went down memory lane.

chayoma said...

abi, if Obama was Nigerian, haa...Canada no fit contain me but seriously i miss suya.

Nice Anon said...

I definitely do not miss washing all the clothes by hand. I no sey you bin use bar soap well well. No front now

Reverence said...

OMG!!! I have died... nice anon and OM wow!!

i dont even know which one to address. LOLL!!!

P.S the AICPA will not overcome me, help me say amen!

Original Mgbeke said...

Tinu: Chei, I dey salivate for hia too. We fit hook that Akara lady with Danny Bagucci? LOL

Smaragd: You wey dey Naija wan return to Naija. Lmaoooo, too funny! Man, those baffs sha! I've heard to Tej, my friend calls the baffs 'Tej stuvvs'...I never enter thia sha. I say babes wey dey Naija sef go dey oppress you wey come from Obodo Oyibo. But this babe, maka why na? Are we beefing? Which kain oppression be that na? No me, I do you back God no go vex. LOL

Royal Reigns: Nsogbu a diro. We go try enter that side this Xmas...wahalai! Lmaooooo @ your friend wanting collectibles baffs. Maybe she shops at those random stores like 'One price clothing' and 'Alko clothing'. I mean, da heck?

Zena: Abeg I don't miss Nepa o. Na so you go just balance dey watch one correct show/movie and NEPA strikes.

Roc: My secret is that I am a WOMAN. LOL, you know pressures and demands on us in naija. The guys wanna take us out and show us the way. This is the general consensus among my friends to.
LOL, you know you miss those Moremi hall chicks. Don't front :-p

Fab: For real! Winter took such a HUGE adjustment. Please give me that naija weather 24/7. Good times!

Abeni: You don crack me up with that 'Computer school'. Gosh, how could I have forgotten computer school? This was like the standard for peeps after you graduate from secondary school and waiting to get into Uni. Yeyerism...i don forget what they were even teaching there sef. LOL

Chayoma: Tell me about it. That good ol' authentic suya with onions and suya pepper. Cheiiii.

NiceAnon: You have come to crack me up again this night. Omo, for those SAP days for school some hard up babes dey even carry the green soap to baff! Choi...that one na real condition wey make crayfish bend o. Abeg when my soap finish, na to ask babes if I fit 'borrow' their soap. Lmaooooo.

Chei but I miss OMO, super blue OMO.

Reverence: Me and N.A are having a ball in hia, funny stuff! Babes, i have missed your e-presence o. Abeg study hard and send me ya books when you finish. Which sections have you taken?

Nice Anon said...

Reverence: No mind us ooh. Sometimes i wonder if this chic na the babe wey i grow up

Mgbafo: I no go lie.. I bin don take that green soap baff before when soap no dey for

Do you remember those lyric books? all those lyics no correct sef. My friend bin tok sey e get dis song wey she bin dey sing since she dey naija " No congress in the eyes of the Lord" Only to come and find out that it is "Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord" LMAO!

Original Mgbeke said...

Nice Anon, you don enter my blog adopted fam. You are TOO funny! I have tears in my eyes from the laugh wey I just laugh now... 'No congress in the eyes of the Lord'.

Oh my Lawd!
Meeeen those lyrics books ehn? Na so we come buy the thing dey learn all those raps like 'Gangstas paradise', 'Always be my baby' and true talk, the lyrics were soooo incorrect. Babes for school go come dey mise the yeye book sef, like say dem don find gold.

Remember all those Hints and Hearts? I think Hearts was more graphic than Hints.

Babe you need to really do a memory lane 'cos I dey remember soooo many things now. Hahahahaha

webround said...

one thing i especially liked about ph is that you could take a cab and it does not have to be 'drop'. the taxis do not carry 4 people at the back so there was no being squashed. and even better, the taxis plied most of the routes. a trip from garrison to rumuola would cost about 5 to 10 bucks in a taxi but the same distance in lag will cost about 200 bucks.

Nice Anon said...

LOL. Thanks "fam"
See eh those lyrics were so wrong eh. U have no idea!

Remember December clothes? Efe december? But our own come be sey my mama dey always buy the material and have us sew it. So i just dey jealous people wey dey buy ready made then. I will always copy the style and just have the lady sew it for me. Of course it never did look like a ready made dress.

or the time wey my mama go just force me into clothes wey she bin wear when she was 18 or something. Have the dress looking all weird on me but she will put it on me and say" wow, efe mara mma n'ahu ooh" Akuko! I look like Ugu loro ahia in it. or force me to wear her high heel shoes. One day i couldn't walk home from church in it so i stayed back at church.

ha hahahahaha

Nice Anon said...

when i couldn't walk home from church, that sunday evening fellowship started and everyone was asking me " ha, wat are you doing here still" I said " I'm here for the sunday fellowship" lol
Dem no know sey na condition make crayfish
mgbafo will kill me
see how i'm taking your comment box up.

Original Mgbeke said...

Webround: Chei 200 bucks ke? That one na thievery o! Ha, I miss those PH blue and white cabs sha.

Nice A: LMaO! You crazy...your mom is a trip! Chei see enforcement na, na serious depreciation of ya rep be that if ya school babes/friends con see you rocking ya mama's 1970 baffs. Choi...the thing be say now we dey rush go thrift store to buy those baffs as 'vintage' but back then we used to frown on such.

Nice Anon said...

Ok after this one I'm done taking up your comment box.

So you know how they always say don't eat at someone's house?

So one of our neighbors papa come visit us. So my uncle was like you should come and eat my eba with me. He was "no, I'm just coming from the house, I have eaten at home already"
My uncle somehow coined him into eating. He said and I quote" Nwa obere and i'm done because I just ate at home"

Do you know this dude finished that eba? Before anyone could say jack robinson! The food just finish fiaaam! Sotey my mumsi come bring more garri. See fronting! No be only kids dey do that one but parents i

virgos lounge said...


Enkay said...

There was this yab my elder sister loved- "sharrap! You this radio without no battery!" lol!
Shuo! if the radio no get battery how the thing come dey talk?

You rep Naija well-well! lol!

joicee said...

I read every single line with a smile on my face lolllls

Seeing that I also grew up in port harcourt..those memories kept flooding back..

I miss that you could just pop in your neigbour's kitchen and ask for matchsticks or pepper if you have run out of them... instead of going all the way to the market.

Bushgirl said...

The last time I went Naija...I went to the bukka at our junction around 8 am, alongside the tipper men getting ready for amala and ewedu I've ever eaten

Bushgirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
webround said...

one thing i really miss about Naija is the roasted corn. when i was much younger, we used to empty all the coins (when coins still had value) in popsi's car and walk like 15 mins to go buy roasted corn. my cousin couldn't take his own without ube (pear).

sometimes i think the fact that fruits were seasonal made them more enjoyable - you had to look forward to the seasons. you waited eagerly for cashew season (but you better know the art of eating it else it will stain your dress), udala, and all the rest. over here, everything is packaged in a tin waiting for you to drop money.

original mgbeke, see what you have caused. all i'm thinking about now is naija food.

Buttercup said...

looooooool! i cant top ur list!

oh..i miss the radio and tv ads..hahahahaha!

Pink Lips said...

I guess we that live in 9ja take all those things u said for granted!!! Felt good ready all the things u mentioned and i found myself nodding my head in agreement!!.

Confessions of a London gal said...

I miss eating agbalumo till it turned to chewing gum!
I miss Mama Sunday's rice- the mama put woman not far from our house...

I miss seeing cars driving on the pavement cos they are trying to avoid 'go slows'

I miss hearing things like "Ekaro elewa de o, Breadi Agege re o!"(Good morning beans seller is here, This is Agege bread) Lol

And i sooo miss okadas! My mum used to think i was MAD cos i used to like sitting the sideways style when i am wearing a skirt! Lol

Naija sweet man! Glad I'm going for a few weeks later this year

CultureCynic said...

My darling O...i miseed you plenty!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha the correct naija babe herself!!! naijacentric?? na u biko!! lol.

chai me i miss home tooooo....i miss having someone drive me whereever i wanted to go and fetching me things before i asked for it... i miss sitting around and just relaxing with no rent to pay or rubbish school loans....i miss akara and Five Alive in the morning...yes that is how i rolled mehn!!! lol.

i miss sitting around and just gisting about absolute nothing and getting into unplanned mess... i miss the life that was so carefree and relaxed, i miss the food that was so tasty and sweet,i miss mineral and Maltina i miss the craziness and authenticity of the whole place. I miss going to the villa for xmas and just going to parties every single night. i miss being the lil girl that didn't have any worries or headaches,i miss having options of where i wanted to stay, i miss not worrying about money, i miss the random dashing of money and not having to work for a damn thing. i miss the knockouts, i miss the masqurades, i miss when everyone goes back to the villa just becuz it is xmas( we all kno xmas here sucks ballz)...i miss my grammy and my lil cousins who feel awkard calling short me aunty cuz they don tall pass me. i miss all the simple things that didn't seem so important back then, i miss those moments no be small.

Original Mgbeke said...

Nice Anon: Hahahaha @ 'Jack Robinson'. Thought I was the only one who says that. Yezzz o, na so hunger go dey wire person but because you no wan chop winch you go just pose like 'Nah, I just ate'. You is tooo funny girl!
Looking forward to your post.

Virgos: Remember am na! Collectibles na the main the main.

Enkay: LOL! Some of those yabs ehn, they didn't even make sense. Dem no get part 2!

Joicee: Heyyy my PH sister. All PH peeps are cool in my book. Yes o, those days of innocence and sharing amongst neighbors. You no even fit try am for here.

Bushgirl: Ahhh the food. LOL @ the tipper men, shey na their breakfast be that. Breakfast of champions!

Webround: Ahhhhh memories man! Gosh I just started craving ube and roasted corn. Webround you aint right for this o. And sho nuff that Cashew used to stain people's dress. I remember my Grandfather used to climb his guava tree and pluck the fruits for us. Remember that fruit that was called 'fruit?'

Buttercup: Hahahaha let's not even talk about those ads. You know say we dey get NTA for here, and one day I was watching the ads and really missing Naija. Awon Peak milk, Bournvita ads etc etc

Pinklips: For real o, don't take it for granted cos when you are away from it, you will really miss it.

Confessionsofalondonbabe: This ya name long o. LOL...hahahaha I remember those days of sitting sideways of okada. And some peeps dey even sit for the front of Okada. Hahahaha...and those cars driving on the pavement kwa? Too funny! God bless Nigeria!

CultureCynic: My babe, I missed you o. No be small thing. Hia! Fivealive and Akara, the way be that o. Remember Just Juice? I just cracked up at you saying 'knockout', I had forgotten about that. I remember my wicked family friend wey put one frog for inside a bottle and put a knockout inside the bottle. Poor frog.

mizchif said...

Chai!! Nice Anon you don kill me with laff today! No congress kwa???
Notin my naija ppl will not do oh!

Rene said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rene said...

i'm crying jus bcuz of 2 much laugher, i fil inspired 2 even blog about d razzness in, i'm not razz.
kai! I'm so loving this blog.

Uchenna said...

LOL, LMAO!! well since am HOME I guess I will do the reverse...

I miss getting STARBUCKS in the morning with McDONALDS brkfast.

I miss QUIZnos and subway

I miss the cold weather

I miss going to cvs or walgreens to buy cheap makeup and....basically everything real cheap...WTFuck is up with 6500 naira powder? lol

wat else???

I think that's it really.

u know what? I think I might just pop in for a wkend to go shopping, LOL!

Anonymous said...

honestly!..therz no place lyk home...9ja is d ish!!...
dt bend down d way u wld b hidn so dt sm1 wont c u..lmao...
nd doz clothes dt de call.."okirika wake up"..lmao...