Tuesday, April 21, 2009

What makes YOU a good friend?

In my random perusal of random blogs, I've noticed that quite a few folk are talking about friendships. People are discovering the 'plastic' friends, people are discovering the shady folk, people are discovering the man wrapper friends, people are hurt by such tomfoolery and have come to blogsville to air their grievances.

I also noticed that in most of these people's comment boxes, a whole bunch of folk have co-signed with comments like 'I feel you girl, all these fake friends' or 'I just cut some peeps off too'. Hey, no pointing fingers here...I just observed.

But I want to challenge anyone who is reading this. Answer me this Q...

What makes YOU a good friend?
Let me also challenge you to reply to this one: What might one see as Red flags when it comes to you? i.e What might make one consider you to not be a good friend?


What are those special traits and characteristics about you that make you a jewel in the rough, and someone that another individual should treasure for the rest of her life?

C'mon...indulge me! I know a bunch of folk are walking on this earth considering themselves to be the best thing since sliced bread, and God's gift to men and women... :-p

And ya know what? Since I asked the Q...imma also answer the Q. You see? Leadership by example...teeheeheee.

In my mind: What makes me a good friend?

  • To the best of my ability, I try to be there for my peoples. I think that this is one of my greatest attributes. If you need a listening ear, a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on, I will be there. I'm far from judgemental so I'm good to listen to the scandalous bits and pieces that you might normally be ashamed to disclose. Hey! I've had my scandalous days too.
  • I will give you the shirt off my back (Only If I'm wearing a tank top underneath o... :-D). Basically I'm saying if I have $40 in the bank and all my bills are paid, and I fit afford am...$20 goes to you. You gotta do this ish with common sense ya know...
  • I'm pretty generous. I'm the kind of person who will go out and see something that I think you may like, and buy it for you just because...I don't wait for birthdays/holidays to show my constant love and appreciation for my peoples.

  • I will fight some of your battles. Notice that I said some o... If you're beefing with Tinuke over some trivial chit, NO I will not follow you and beef with Tinuke. This is not elementary school. However, if Tinuke slept with your husband/killed your mama/tiffed your boy/man from under your nose or some other really grievious sin, then your fight becomes my fight and Tinuke is dead to me!

  • I will not date your ex-boyfriend or marry your ex-husband. They say never say never, but this is in my friendship code of conduct, and so far I haven't broken the rule. Yeah yeah, men are scarce, every girl for herself etc etc but errrm NAH!

  • If I have a problem with you, I will let you know. I believe in the term 'Never go to bed mad' and this applies to everybody. I won't internalize the 'beef', and tell Amaka about how you pissed me off. Rather, I will approach you and tell you how you pissed me off, and hopefully we can move on from there.

  • Your secrets are my secrets. And even if we fight, and never talk to each other for the rest of our lives, your secrets are still my secrets. I will not run the streets telling the world how you had 3 abortions in college or about that threesome in cancun. LOL

  • I won't forget about you 'cos I'm all boo'ed up. I still remember my peeps! Afterall, his a-s-s might dump me, and then whose shoulder will I cry on?

  • Last but not least, I come DRAMA-FREE. This is so essential in friendships and I'm as simple as they come. (This one isn't even in my mind, na true talk). Whatever it is, I will brush it off and not cause a scene 'cos you know what? Life is too short for that foolishness!

These are what come to mind for now, note that I said...in my mind. Therefore a friend might be reading this, and scoff at everything I just typed. Na she/he sabi...if you no come tok anything to me, then na your own wahala be that.
I think that I must be doing a pretty good job, 'cos save for the random person or two...most of my friends have been around for quite a while and are still around. Infact I think this might be the reason why as I've gotten older, I find it harder to make new friends...'cos I'm so used to my comfort zone and my personal peoples. For instance, I have known my oldest friend for about 15 years...She is my heartbeat (pet name for her).

And, in my mind: What might make me not such a hot friend?

  • Let's go back to the fighting battles thingy. In all honesty, a lot of times I come off as 'neutral' to situations and 'on the fence'. Meaning that if you and Tinuke are beefing because she's annoying, or something of that trivial nature (to me), I'm not gonna beef Tinuke. Infact, I may see her and wave hello...abeg, wetin consain me with you and Tinuke's petty battles? Or your ex, who cheated on you? While I may not support his cheating ways, if he sees me on the street and says hello, imma say hello right back to him. Common courtesy o jare, But some may see these as disloyal, and me not being a true down a-s-s chick.

  • I tend to give people a lot of space when they act moody or they are having a 'moment'. I just can't deal with such mood swings and such so I just withdraw and wait for them to get over whatever it is. This might not be viewed as a good thing.

  • I hate babysitting. We are at a party, and you are having a bad night? I'm sorry but I'm not gonna let you ruin my potentially good night so I will leave you be, and go and get my dance on. I guess a better friend would try to see what is going on, and sit around holding your hand? You tell me...

  • I tend to keep things moving real quick! You cut me off? I won't beg you, and I won't try to see what is going on. I will kuku leave you be...no hard feelings though.

So in general, I'm not trying to paint myself as a perfect person. I'm far from perfect, and so when I see people blogging about how they are mad about certain things/friendships I try to see where the other person may be coming from. Is the person being accused just misunderstood? Has the complainant approached this person and stated their wahala? Or did they just write the person off as being 'fake' or a 'plastic' without even trynna see their POV?

I'm not even trynna downplay whatever it is that people are mad about. I was just speculating 'ere. I do realize that some people are just TRIFLIN' and trust me, I'm not naive and I am aware that such shady people in this world don't wanna see you happy, people who are out there backstabbing you, people who can't wait to move in on your happy relationship and so they spread gist about you to your man and such shady business.

Remind me to give a special offering next sunday. A thanksgiving offering for the fact that I've been prettty fortunate enough to not have encountered these kind of 'friends' on a deeper level. Thank you Jesus!

*Crosses fingers and prays that I don't have to eat my words later on*

46 comments:

Qube The Wordsmith said...

First!!!!

Off ta read

Qube The Wordsmith said...

U got evry on point...
I feel a good friend wil tell u d truth even if it hurts u/them
A tru friend wil tell u breakin in2 ur ex house to smash stuff is petty..n wil b beside u in jail wen u get caught...a tru friend wil knw wen to tell u u r bin stupid n wen to hold u n let u just cry..

Bibi said...

You pretty much have it all covered. I also agree with Qube. Sort of. You won't be in the jail In the first place if I have anything to say about it. lol

Zena said...

Shebi I told you me, I'm taking resume for new friends cos me I've been through it through and through

You want us to toot our own horns? you sure say you get space or time for you to read the comments?

I'm completely honest with my friends (that maybe a plus and a minus, some people can't handle the truth) and I've lost a couple of friends like that, I'm not judgmental but when u want to steal another friends boyfriend(o.k that was flashback, sorry)

I do try as much as possible to be the best friend anyone can have by being supportive, loyal, truthful, giving, and caring

I might be a bit stubborn at times (o.k most of the time)but...but.... this question is deep sha, someone can spend 2 paragraphs answering

Third World Profashional said...

i'm a class A friend, and i'm tooting to my hearts contest. seriously i could win a gold star in friendship. i think my biggest flaw when it comes to friends, is trusting too much.

leggy said...

yeah i feel u on that...but the part of waving at an ex boyfriend hu cheated on ur friend...well am still on the fence about that one...i love your blog.i just started one,can u please check it out?! http://leggy-freda.blogspot.com
thanks.

naija shawty said...

u're a good frined oh, if u possess all dise xtics. i am almost like u and I rarely find similar people.

J'Adore Fashion said...

When it comes to my friendship, I treat others just the way i want to be treated--i am very honest--the truth hurt, but as i friend i will always give u the truth. I am caring to a fault--my not too good ways, Its very hard for me to fully trust (i guess from experiences)...

Original Mgbeke said...

Qube: I definitely appreciate honesty from a friend even if it hurts. But you make sense bro, you certainly do. I think that I have been blessed to come across people like this in my life.

Bibi: LOL, ya know! But if you tok and the friend no wan listen, you will still clear out some of the savings to bail a sister out anyhow na.

Zena: I love to read, indulge me please. Like I said to Qube, I appreciate honesty even if it hurts. If I look jacked up in the dress, please let me know before I go out. If you think that I'm overdo-ing it in an effort to make my ex notice me, please tell me.
LOL make I come submit my resume...hehehehe.
And heck no, I would try my bestest to talk a sis out of stealing someone else's man.

Thirdworld: My sister, kudos to you. The sad thing about this world is that someone out there probably doesn't think that you are doing enough.

Leggy: Like I said it aint elemenrary school. If he waves, I'll wave back...I didn't say I would buddy up and chat. Aniwoos like I said this is one reason why I might not be such a hot friend?
I will defn check yours out, I've been lazy with making the rounds. No vex abeg.

NaijaShawty: This was by no means an effort to toot my horn...aniwoos like I said, I must be doing somn right. lol

J'adore: I always wonder about people and trust. I come across peeps who say 'I don't trust anyone except God' etc yet they have bestfriends and such. So what don't you trust? You don't trust me to be around your man? You don't trust me to bail you out if you're in jail? or you just don't trust humans in general and can't see the 90% good in anyone? Just curious...

Thanks for the comments peeps.

BSNC said...

what makes a friend alot oo. if i start writing now, its ll become a 10 page essay. let me try and summarise it

*i am the friend that tells you your mouth is smelling( in a nice way though...lol)

* i am the friend that will tell you i have a problem with you( i no get power to quarell or dey beef, too much wahala)

* i am the friend you can rely on and count on( that is if its within my reach oo)

* i am with you on the giving space thing. when you have your mood swing, i ll give you all the space you what.. until you are ready to talk about.

* i am that friend that will try to brighten your day or put a smile on your face [ i like that about me :)]

* i am 100% drama- free too not 99.9 o a hundred percent.

i guess that some of it and i agree with most of the things you say. i have known my oldest friend for 18 years and i'm in my 20's...

Kemberly said...

I'm a good friend because I have a kind heart and the best intentions for everyone. I treat people the way I expect to be treated.

Nice Anon said...

You have said it all. I hold my friends dear and to the ones i call friends. They are the ones that can say what kind of friend I am to them.

SouLBoutiQue said...

I guess you got the plastic friend from me. I will show how I am a good friend and also at fault but a later post. I am a very giving and nice person. But when i see people trying to take my kindness for a weakness and think I am Naive I watch you, simple. I hate oppurtunistic people.

And Second. I think in general we as humans use the term friend too loosely honestly. We tend to forget what the definition of a friend is and label every tom dick and harry as such.

Like you said we all have our faults as friends but i think there comes a line that one has to draw when realizing who is and isn't a friend. I am the same as well I tell people how I feel when they offend me..if you listen and respect my comments I will admire that if not. Shruggs shoulders hey at least I tried. Luckily I tend to smell the nonsense before back stabbing occurs.

ps. I also agree secrets should never be told...ever!

Original Mgbeke said...

BSNC: Kudos jare! That's definitely wassup. How bout traits that folk might not love about you? No one in answering this one...'cos I'm saying there maybe someone on blogsville complaining bout ya even though you think that you are trying. Ya digss...

Kem kem: You do seem like a genuinely nice girl. What goes around comes around, so keep on doing what you do!

NiceAnon: Conduct a survey and report back. :-D. I enjoy surveying my friends, and I will survey them to see if this ish I just listed is just in my mind.

SoulB: I sure did get the plastic from you. Like you, I dislike opportunists and I sniff 'em out from a mile away before they even come too close.
Yep, we do use the term 'friends' loosely but say you are talking to your mom on the phone, and I'm standing with you and she asks..'who are you with?'...as opposed to 'One of my acquaintances', you'd probably say 'one of my friends' abi? Maybe we just don't wanna be all extra upfront and blunt with this ish...

BSNC said...

lol i know abi. i dunno.. they should tell me. i'm not saying i am perfect o, but i am pretty much the good friend( 98.97%)...

where do i even get this figures from sef..lol.

MPB said...

Good MPB:
- listens
- won't ditch you when I am in relationships
- believes in you
- keeps your deepest secrets
- willing to help
- honest
- adds laughter to your life
- loyal
- nonjudgemental
- will not hog all the attention

Bad MPB:
- slow to anger but can hold a grudge
- insensitive/tactless atimes
- lazy about keeping in touch
- i can date a guy my friend once liked or talked to, as long as they were not an official couple or married
- have talked about a friend behind their back

Repressed One said...

I think a lot of people have different definitions of friendship and what it entails

I have few friends and half my friends I have known for ages. I’d like to think I’m a loyal friend. I’m a good listener. I’ll keep your secrets. I’m adaptable and let people be who they are with little or no complaints from me [usually]. I’m considerate. I’m generous and can be depended on. I too am drama free…I no fit.

I’m more of a listener so friends say I don’t share [I say I do, just not like they do]. I don’t keep in touch or reach out much. I let people be who they are which can be a bad thing cos instead of saying something to you I’ll just adjust myself and/or withdraw accordingly cos to me it's just who you are. Because of my natural disposition it’s easy to think I’m being judgmental and I don’t care. My motto is ‘love me or leave me.’--one of them anyways.

Speaking of “trust”…I was going to write a post on that but haven’t gotten around to it.

blogoratti said...

If asked most people will say the same nice things about 'how they think they make a good friend'..
But at the end of the day, what do your so called friends say behind your back? If it's good things, all's well -but if it's bad...then what YOU think makes you a 'good friend', might be totally different from what 'your friends' think...

Okay i'll stop there...hehe*
All in all, i expect a good friend of mine to understand me,when no one else seems to-and i'd do the same thing too*

Reverence said...

its funny you wrote this cos i was just listening to a sermon the other day about how nobody wants to be Goliath..its always good to see both sides.

TayneMent said...

Word to Blogoratti.

Kate said...

hmm...what makes me a good friend?
*5 hours later*..lol
um...
*When there's a problem...i listen..usually i try to solve it..that's what i'm good at..solving.
*I think i'm pretty generous when i can afford to be.
*I got my friends' backs when stuff goes down...as in i will always be in your corner...whether that's always a good thing or bad thing..i'm not sure..cuz unlike Qube..i'd be the one breaking into your ex's house or at least looking out for the po-pos.

What makes me a not so good friend.
* My memory is pretty awful..i try not to forget birthdays tho cuz i dont like when ppl forget mine..but everything else..i can't guarantee.
* I'm not so good with the no grudge thing..
* I'm not so good with the expressing myself thing..may go hand in had with the grudge thing

*Diane* said...

oooh good post!
I think i'm a GREATTT friend because
1. i listen-
2. if needed, and sometimes just because i 'm always there to lend a hand
3. I'm a goofy goober,so the laughter won't stop

my um...(not so)great qualities:
1. i suck @ keeping in contact with long distance relationships
2. i hold grudges
3. i hate saying sorry(i've drastically improved on this one)

mizchif said...

Hmmm, in my mind, i am the best friend anyone could ever ask for...serzly!
So, now that i'm done tooting my horn. What might make me a not so good friend:
I don't do money matters.
I don't forget, hence forgiveness is very hard.
I'm not very mushy, so you might be feeling down and though i might be concerned, don't mean imma be crying as well.
I like my space too much, so extended stays may be a problem.

Before i give u real epistle, i shall now take my leave!

Sting said...

Very thought provoking post.

bumight said...

i ws going to apply to be ur very best special friend when i read the first part of ur post...till i read d second part, lol (j/k)
we sometimes confuse acquaintances with friends. real friendship for me is almost as serious as being in a relationship, minus the kpanshing part o!

i expect as much as i give. i believe real friendship starts when u start to genuinely care about the other person and less about urself.

Buttercup said...

I like how u brought out the other perspective..

what I think makes me a good friend:
1. I'm generous
2. I can listen for Africa..kai!
3. I give good advice(if I may say so myself..lol)
4. I tell the truth while being sensitive about it.
5. I put their needs before mine.

what I think makes me not such a good friend:
1. I'm not so good at keeping in touch.
2. I don't like going out of my way to visit a person..I'd rather just sit my ass at home.
3. I try to defend a friend as much as I can but I USUALLY tend to keep quiet when a certain situation doesn't concern me, hence leaving the friend in question to fight their battle..not good mehn..

Dee Brighton said...

Love this
oh & lmao @ marry your ex-husband.

& I have a really strict code bout whispering too. I always tell ppl when theres a problem.
x

Tay-mee said...

This post is on point diee! I guess I have some of your what might not make me such a good friend attributes. I tend to give people "space" when they are upset, like really don't bring your sulking ass near me when I'm tryna have fun, and if you are not talking to me and ish like that then thats your palava mehn! Apart from that I think I make a pretty good friend..lol

Penelope said...

I envy u.
If all of the above is what makes u a good friend, then u're one helluva babe.
half of your qualities i do not possess but love all the same.
the one about not being judgemental...I only started working on that cus' im quite the judgemental type n its vry bad! Its lead so so much wahala!

n den the part about discusing the problm with the person when necessary does not even work for me oh. MBA! I think it has to do with the fact that I'm too much of a drama queen. I'ld rather announce to my other friends that this is what whomever did to me. (umm, i sorta like the whole drama scene, vry sexy. lol)

Its quite embarasing that im confesin like this..lol.
But hey! I'm working on it
N perhaps It'l go with tym..I'm still quite a teenager so im assumin its normal. lol. :P

Rita said...

Now youve got me thinking whether I am a good friend. I feel that I try for some and for some others, I need improvement.

Loved ur honesty on this post.

Enkay said...

I know a lot of people...colleagues, acquaintances, etc but only a few make it to my 'friends' list.

I'm generally unassuming. I trust easily too. I'm that friend who would always seek the other one out. Always visiting etc sometimes I think I even do it too much sef. I'm learning also that if you keep giving and don't get much back in return, soon there'll not be anything left to give. I've started encouraging my friends to give more too. It makes for a healthier relationship.

On the other hand, I don't have time for mood swings. I will so give you your space!!

kmplx said...

what makes me a good friend, is that am so crap, i make all my other friends look good. they keep me around just to make themselves feel better... am like "buying a goat for an african village will save their lives and make you feel better about yourself".

actually it's my total randomness. and being laid-back. but keeping it real real. and letting it go. being objective. but really really, it's cos i'm so random and insane, that i really put them in perspective... "at least i ain't that crazy".

Uchenna said...

oh I love this post!!!!

DEF. LEFT me with a lot to think about.

okay to answer ur question lets see...

My GOOD friend qualities: I am laid Back, I never take anything too seriously (which can be good and bad), I talk about anything, I can get heavy with da convo (life, death, GOD) and I can go light with it too (makeup, hair, food). I genuinely like to see my friends HAPPY, because I get inspired when they are. I do everything in my power to sustain my friendships. I care alot about my friends...they are like my family and I easily forgive (unless u lie an effin lot and try to seduce my boyfriend)

ok...

BAD QUALITIES:
- I am lazy when it comes to keepin in contact, I need to have the kind of friend that understands that sometimes I just shut the world out and chill in my head....esp. during my hibernation period

-I can be selfish...like I honestly hate when people up right ask me for money...like I can pay for dinner, buy birthday presents, but don't upright ASK me for money...I dunno...am funny about dat ish.

- I don't think I get along with very very girly girly gurls..I think because am somewhat of a tomboy...so I tend to feel awkard around too much girliness.

-I am a jealous friend...I REPEAT..I AM A JEALOUS FRIEND. I hate when my friends have new friends...lol..like seriously...I don't like dat ish.

ok..well I guess dats it.

QMoney said...

I think friendship like love doesnt have one definition or is relative.
I use to believe am d best friend a gal could ever have,use to be a wonderful listener,stay in touch,care as in truly care,reliable but i realized maybe am not dat fantastic afterall cos av felt like i needed someone to listen to me and the so called friends i listened to werent listeners so it put me off,av rescued pips from issues and wen i have same,they cant help so right now,maybe a good friend shouldnt midn all these things but i am taking the mirror approach to "friendship" now,am as nice to u as u are to me,no time for xtras!!
I have written it on my blog before,i dont know if i have friends,i jus get by shaaaaaaa.dont expect any commitment to anyone and i dont feel commited to anyone
Like what in d world can i desperately sum1 i call a friend for to do for me?cant think of any.
am not perfect sha cos if there is one thing i hate in the world,its anyone waking me up from sleep therefore u cant wake up in d middle of d nite and decide to talk to me as a friend,my fone is permanently OFF from 10pm-6am daily!!!!lol
Last but not the least,dis my new approach has got me cluless on how to choose bridesmaids,everyone is now equal in my eyes,no special friends.maybe will do my next post on it
long comment huh?

mochahourglass said...

Lovely post. I see you were inspired :D

Good traits: open ( I won't probe you to talk about yourself and then act dumb when I'm suppose to talk..or claim Jesus..I have a relative that's awesome at that haha), honest, trusting, give good advice/direction, unbiased (umm..if you're wrong..Imma tell you straight up), most importantly I care (I'll always talk to you about my life experiences..esp. the bad stuff..cuz I don't want ANYONE I'm friends with to repeat the mistakes I've made...err..that might track back to being "open".. ah well)

Bad traits:
sometimes I think I'm too open :( (It's hurt me in the past)
I hate baby sitting too (no I will not be in your face at the club because xyz side eyed you..I'll pass you a drink and tell you to keep it moving..you will not ruin my night with YOUR drama, sorry)
I DON'T fight battles (I use to, but then..I grew up :)..your beef is your beef) and I don't expect you to fight mine.
I can be somewhat unreliable/flaky (working on it with all my soul).
Been in love once, and got over involved in the relationship..it caused me friendships..I VOWED I'd NEVER do that again. EVER.

Geebee said...

These days, true friends are very hard to find but a friend is someone you really wouldn't call a friend when you look at general standards for grading friendship in today's world. A Friend is rare and practically does not exist in the world we live in. Sorry to burst anyone's bubble here but I think most of the people we see as friends are simply 'acquaintances' (excuse my french here) or better still, 'very good acquaintances' We've got only one friend - JESUS CHRIST. If you can be like Jesus i.e. die for me and wash my sins away, then you're my friend. * runs off, dodging sticks, stones and shoes (ouch! O.M's right shoe hits me on the head.)*

mochahourglass said...

oopss.. forgot to include..I'm the most UNJUDGEMENTAL PERSON you'll ever meet! Tell me anything..I won't flinch. LOL. I've heard it all.

Original Mgbeke said...

BSNC: LOL, abeg tell me where you are getting the figures from, for realz.

MPB: Not bad at all. In terms of the dating, do you discuss with friend prior to this?

Repressed one: Interesting stuff. Love me or leave me, indeed. I hear you on that! I'll be looking out for the trust post.

Blogoratti: True talk. However, I'm also asking what might make one a not so good friend? We aren't trying to sugarcoat and steez hia. *Nods to the understanding bit*

Reverence: Yeah, it's interesting to see the other side of the story. Most peeps are answering this one sha. :-p

Taynement: He did make sense for sho.

Kate: LOL, leave the friend to do the breaking in 'cos if they put both ya asses in jail, whose finna bail you guys out? At least if she breaks in, you go fit bail am out. :-D
Good stuff tho!

Diane: Intaresting, you don't seem like a grudge holder. Ask me what a grudge holder seems like o...maybe na because you dey always shine ya 32. :-D

Mizchif: I 'preciate the honesty o jare. So money matters, as per you do not lend money or you do not give money if one needs it?

Sting: Glad to be of service. :-)

Bumight: LOL, my negatives don chase you ni? Hehehehe. I hear what you are saying my dia, I hear you...

Buttercup: Tis nice to see the other perspective indeed. I do 'preciate the honesty, with our positives and negatives...someone on this earth will hopefully be willing to deal, if not..too bad.

Deedee: Na true na...LOL. I no wan move into your old married home. It just don't feel right to me.

Taymee: We truly have those stuvvs in common o. Abeg abeg, I no fit!

Original Mgbeke said...

Penelope: My sister, at least you are keeping in real. Nothing embarrasing about that, hopefully as time passes, things will change.

Rita: At least you identified areas of improvement, if nothing else. Thank you ma'am.

Enkay: I like the fact that you are encouraging your friends. Sometimes all people need is a push or a pep talk to know what their shortcomings are. Nice one.

LOL @ Kmplx: You sound like a ball of fun...hahahahaha.

olu said...

This one na JAMB question. I took me the whole day to figure the answers & I'm not even sure they are right.

OK, here we go...

Good Traits:

*Fiercely loyal.
*Brutally honest.
*Drama free.
*I overlook at lot of sh*t. I don't know if this is good or bad.

Bad Traits:

*Insensitive...well, kinda.
*I suck at keeping in touch.
*Too blunt...abeg, diplomacy isn't one of my virtues

Original Mgbeke said...

Uchenna: What is a girly girly girl? And what if your friend has a new friend, but that isn't affecting your friendship, does it still get to you?

Qmoney: Hmmm that is pretty interesting stuff sha. I do tend to mirror what I get as well, just as a defense mechanism o but it seems like you don downgrade everyone. LOL, no shakings...when it's time to choose the bridesmaids you fit just pick random folk. These days I be seeing bridal trains where the maids really have no connection to the bride.

Mocha: Awww I still love you, bad traits or not. Hehe...Flakiness can be annoying sha but ah well, I talk my talk and deal with it by not expecting the flaky one to really come through when they claim that they will. Is being too open a flaw? I don't see it as one.
Like I said no one is perfect o jare...

Geebee: LOL, this post would not have been complete without someone calling Jesus. Funny stuff...
To each his own abi?

Olu: When are you gonna start blogging? :-p
Brutally honest is not always a good thing o, and I see that your flaws..insensitive and too blunt kinda prove that. Double edged sword...yeah?

Ms. Royal Reigns said...
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Ms. Royal Reigns said...

Um...I should really be in bed right now but whatevs.

I believe that I have the qualities of being a good friend. I've been told numerous times that I am a good friend. I know for a fact that I have some room for improvements, though. The main negative is if I feel that what you're telling me is corny, immature or straight up non-important, you're not getting my 100% undivided attention. Also, I can be slightly judgemental. I honestly don't know why or where it comes from. *shrugs* With some of the shit I have hanging over my head, Ms. Royal Reigns should not be judging nobody. For real.

I truly enjoy your blog. Keep it up!

mizchif said...

I think money just brings out a side of people i'd rather not see, so as much as possible, i try not to do the whole lending and borrowing, plus i can't be dragging pesin shirt if the pesin is owing me. But still on still, there are situations when i won't watch my friend suffer thru if i can help financially, i.e if i know i can bone if said friend can't pay up.

@ Uchenna, i'm glad i'm not the only one who doesn't share friends. Any of my friends that decides to be shared quickly drops to the position of ex-friend, current acquaintance!

Original Mgbeke said...

Mzz Royal, yes yes you Judgmental you. LOL. Oh and welcome to blogsville! :-D

Mizchif: Ah ah! That's harsh na...LOL. Chei, I mean what if the other friendship isn't affecting yours with the person in question.

Ms Sula said...

You are a good friend because you are true to you!

Great post!