Tuesday, July 6, 2010


E get some kain names wey you go just hope say your parents go spare you, as dem dey name you. Like in the previous post, I yarn say the Isioma babe don see me, the Ngulumu…and true talk, that is somebody’s name. I believe it originated from FGGC Abuloma a.k.a I blow Garri, where there was an Ngulumu Ohembe. Na so the name come carry go o, when you wan tok small thing, you go yarn say ‘shey you don see me…the Ngulumu’. Chai…abeg Ngulumu, if you dey read this/if you are Ngulumu’s cousin, this is absolutely nothing personal. Hahahaha...

Then e get this other babe wey go my school…let’s call her ‘Clementina Amanpour’…LOL. Na so her name come carry o, when you wan tasi pesin…you go kuku yarn say ‘See this Clementina Amanpour’ ooo….as in, pesin wey just dey claim anyhow i.e imagine a convo between Ricky Bobby and I, which goes like this:

Ricky Bobby:- Beyonce is my girlfriend

Mgbeke:- Hia! Who dash you? See this Clementina Amanpour o!

Sooo, speaking of names…the other day, pesin come ask me why I go by the name ‘Original Mgbeke’. I tell am say, I be Mgbeke na. Dem tok say they don’t see it. Abeg o, make the baffs no fool una o. In my heart of heart, I know say I be Mgbeke. The person asked me… 'what makes you razz?’ …

Do you wear shades in the club?’…I said no.

Do you wear Gushy leathers (Gucci) + Prada logo together?’ …I said no.

Do you act uncouth in public”…I said no.

So what makes you razz then?’…I tok say me I no fit explain am, but I just know say I be razzo. Case in point: see as I don enter paragraph two of this post and na only pidgin wey I don blow since. Kai!

On to the pidgin topic, so I no think say I fit follow man wey dey too ‘Americanized’, like all those guys wey dem born and raise for Yankee. Or all those Lagos people wey dey feel too funky, as per dem go Atlantic Hall and their papa dey hold serious moni, and such steez. When man pikin wan get down with the get down and nack correct pidgin English, dem go dey look me laik say my mama no born me well. Abeg carry go. I need to everly be myself, yaoooming (you know what I mean?).

On the flip sha, I no fit follow pesin wey dey too razz/Igbotic/Yorubatic or whatever as per na me wey dey hol’ am down in those areas. There can only be one of us o jare!

Language wise, I have really been proactive about learning Igbo. I have picked up quite a bit of new stuff, and my friend has been so kind as to give me BBM Igbo lessons. Here is how it works: I give her a word in English, she types the Igbo translation on BBM and then I call her for 2 seconds and she pronounces it. Ah, this one don pass Rosetta Stone o! I need to hit her up with some new ones.

Then e get one bobo wey dey wink at me, and I come dey utilize his services too. But e be laik say I go NEXT am real soon, so that source go soon disappear. As in, make una no try o…next thing I will be posting in Igbo if the Pidgin never kill una finish. Hehehe.

Meanwoos how far all these bobos (Igbo bobos na the main culprits) wey dey meet you and in 5 mins, wanna know if you can cook? You kwa, can you buy me Gushi leathers? If you see it as a requirement that I cook, then it’s a requirement that you buy me Gushi leathers. The story no be long thing.

How una July 4th weekend shake na? As for me...I carried my fine legs to enter NYC to bubble and shuffle with awon babes. Not too much bubbling and shuffling dey involved sha, as per our bones don dey old small. I dey yarn my homeskillet how I just packed only 'indoor' baffs and she was like 'for real? not even a night of clubbing?'. The ting be say, clubbing don dey tire man pikin o jare. Na so so loud music, sweaty individuals bumping and grinding and men prowling the scene looking for their next prey. I have been officially bored with clubbing as of 2008, true story.

The weekend was nice sha sha. My homes hosted a cookout/BBQ on Saturday, and we pretty much chilled on Sunday, and had a jolly ol' picnic at Central Park on Monday. Good times.

Meanwoos I dey yarn some peeps say I dey enter NY for the weekend, and dem dey ask if na NRC Reunion, wey I wan waka go. Abeg make una take eye look me na, I look like pesin wey wan enter NRC Reunion? Na im I go enter and the pikins go tok say who be this old mama. This babe go the Comedy show and she come dey gist us say na so so fake lashes, long weave, and booty shorts wey just full the place. Abeg I no get strength to dey compete with such Sasha Fierces in training, LOL.

I con hear say Banky dey have some attitude because man pikin no hail am too much, apparently all the hailing was reserved for M.I. Abeg no be from my mouth wey una hear say Fanta dey orange ooooo. :-D...besides I no sabi if na accurate gist. #ameboruns

And on a final note (In Engrish :D ), I’ve really been scouting for new music so Amazon is like my new best friend. I’ve been in the mood to listen to a lot of albums, so lemme drop some album recommendations of stuff that I heard recently and really liked:

  • Ultraviolet - Kid Sister: Okayyy, where has she been my whole life? I LOVE every single track on her album, true talk.
  • The Archandroid - Janelle Monae: This album is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

  • Flesh tone - Kelis: I got the hookup about a week before I came out (release date is today). This is an awesome effort from Kelis. Album is filled with tons of dance beats that will leave you itching to jump out of your seat. If you're into dance/techno, you will definitely likey.
  • Anjulie – I discovered her via Amazon, and I’m definitely digging her album.
  • Intimacy - Bloc Party : I was reading my Nylon Magazine, and saw a feature on this guy named Kele Okereke who just came out with a solo album, said he was part of Bloc party so I did some research, and voila! Album is really good, and I like Kele's voice. I would like to sample his solo album.
  • LMFAO - Party Rock : With a name like that, I just had to check it out. These guys are hilarious, the lyrics are fun and it's a generally fun album. Good road trip material, for when you are in a light mood.

That's all folks. Enjoy the rest of your week and here's to wishing y'all a very happy July.

PS:- For the 3 people who care, I am working on an update to the Retail Therapy blog.