Wednesday, December 7, 2011

On Weight, Body Type, and Related Yarns

Curvy women
I have always admired curvy women. I think that they just exude a certain level of sexiness. It seems that most guys see a curvy woman and thinks “child bearing hips = future mother of my chilluns” or “Damn! That ass is phat” and such things of that nature. Heck, me sef I’m convinced that if I was a dude, I would definitely be the type to gravitate towards the curvy ladies. I’m talking about the figure 8 type, with some nice thick thighs, and supporting endowments on the back and front. Nothing do them jare, curvy women are definitely sexy. For instance, much as everyone swears that ToolzO wears body magic, and is truly fat…I’m like whatever she is doing works very well for her, and I think that she is one hot chick with an awesome figure. Now curvy/thick is obviously very relative because I seem to be in the minority of individuals who do not think that ToolzO is fat, but apparently a number of folks do. To that I say…to each his/her own.

The funny thing is…most of the curvy women that I know want to lose weight. My friend who has that figure 8 shape and constantly has all the dudes panting after her, thinks that slim and trim women are so hot. I’m like are you serious? Dudes look at women like you and automatically classify you as sexy, without you even trying to do anything. Hiphop artists and rappers constantly compose songs that elevate women like you. Mayne, if I had her shape, I would rock the heck out of it. As a woman on the slim/non-curvy side of life, I highly doubt that most cats see me and the first thing that springs to their heads is “Whoa, she's sexaaay” or “her body is the business”…in fact, the other day I had to ask via twitter if there are any dudes out there who gats love for us non-thick ladies ‘cos I feel like the curvy ladies are what every guy talks about these days. I mean, everywhere you turn these days, dudes are pushing out tweets such as “no country for chicks with no nyash” or “A-cup chicks will die alone”, “Thick women rule, only dogs deal with bones” etc etc…LOL. Please, if you have figure 8 + endowments biko rock am well o. It’s a cold world on this side of life… *chuckles*.

Guys and their yarns
But while we are talking about guys and their constant yarniz on the internet...forget matter sha 'cos guys just like to yarnnn. A lot of dudes use social media such as Facebook and Twitter to state that they want this or that. I mean, peep this gist of body type...I swear, I've seen enough yarns from dudes who state that if a woman isn't thick, then no hope for her. In my opinion, all na tales by moonlight. Like I once responded to a dude and his "no country for a-cups tweet", you can evict us to the next country, but in the end you guys will still come to that country and marry us a-cuppers. I have a friend who is at most a size 2, with small boobs and literally no ass…I lovingly call her a chicken wing. But I swear to y’all that this girl’s game is on a kentro level. I always tease her and say that she lives that “Sex and the city” kind of dating lifestyle. Chick pulls dudes any and everywhere…pumping gas o, grocery shopping, sitting at the bar at T.G.I.F, crossing the street, walking into work... you name it. She is constantly going out on dates in her size 2 fabulousness. So, every time I hear of a new date, I chuckle and think… so much for dudes wanting to ship women like her to the next country. I bet half of the dudes who see her and ask her out, have stated on Twitter and FB that any chick they deal with had better have the type of booty that you can sit a cup on. Moral of the story is: If you’re the sort to take what guys yarn on the interwebs to heart, re-think your strategy ‘cos in my opinion all na yarns. If a guy likes you, he likes you...size 1 self and all.

Weight…in general
I have to say sha…I do enjoy the privileges of being on the slimmer side of life. I can walk into McDonalds and supersize 2 meals, and guess what…no one will give me the side eye. My 300lb counterpart walks into McDonalds, and probably already gets the judgmental stare before he/she places an order. I like my weight, and have no complaints about it (except for the fact that hip-hop artists do not dedicate lyrics to girls like me…can someone say discrimination???). I’m not the type to balk at a few lbs gained here and there, but I realize that the more I see some people and do the mental double take like “dayumm, what happened, he/she used to be so slim?”…I truly truly do not want to be that person. In an ideal world, I will remain a size 6 forever…post-kiddies and all. I don’t know about that sha, because while I’m currently blessed with having the type of body that allows me to eat a bunch of nonsense, and not gain much weight, I’ve been told countless times that this will catch up with me in the future… *gulp*.

In general, the the weight/body type topic is an interesting one, and it’s even more interesting to see everyone’s views on it. For some, the grass looks greener on the other side and for others, they are just fine chilling on their own turf. Some people obsess about their weight, and others don’t give it much thought. Whichever category that you fall into, nothing do you o jare. If you be orobo and happy with it, kudos. If you be lepa, and proud of it, kudos. If you’re an orobo wanting to turn into a lepa, good luck…and if you’re a lepa who wan turn into orobo, good luck to you too. Oh, I won’t forget the “in-betweeners”… make una keep on keeping on too o jare. Na one love wey go keep us together…
Okay, I obviously need to sign off now ‘cos I have started to yarn jagjagbantis.

Peace and Love.