Taking Stock 2009

Before I even start tori for here, I just wan greet una. I feel like I've been away from blogsville for a minute. I mean, I hella used to update like 2x a week and now the tori don change...blame it on time constraints. How was your holiday season? I hope that Santa brought you all that you wished for and more.

Aniwoos on to the short thing of the long thing, I saw this on Taynement's blog and said that I was sooo gonna tiff it, so here I am in all my thievery. Join me as I recap 2009 in a coupla bits and pieces.

Faith
If you read and remember, you will know that I'm very hot and cold with my faith. Today I wanna be a pastor's wife and tomorrow, the inner slutacious bad girl takes the lead. I mean, I started '09 off in hot hot mode, I even temporarily quit drinking and err that was major 'cos I usually never say no to anything that involves the good sizzurp. I actually considered working in church too as I felt kinda ready to take that step. Today, what is the story? I haven't been to church in a minute, have abandoned the concept of paying tithes (but I no fit skip offering sha) and the bad girl is totally dominating the world. I just know that sometimes God looks down at me and sighs...but I think that with religion I tend to be so black and white about things that sometimes I just feel this ridiculous pressure to not do X Y Z 'cos that is not what a good christian girl should do, and I'm learning to not be so hard on myself. Like for the longest time I refused to go to church because I felt that it was pointless if I was still gonna get into the same ol' sin from Mon-Sat, ya dig? So for the 2010, I hope to just take things one step at a time and see how things go with the big G up there.

Family
I have what I like to call a 'very interesting' family, however my immediate fam has always been the constant and I love them dearly. I thank God that 2009 kept my family safe and sound through the ups and downs of the year...especially my parents who live in Port Harcourt where kidnappings have been so rampant. May 2010 bring greater things for us ooo.

Friendship
Ahhh the good ol' friends. I love them folk, I really do. For the most part, everyone remained constant 'cept for one in which the dynamics changed but that was cool with me, it was a long time coming. This year I definitely learned that sometimes the fact that 'we've been friends for X years' does not always cut it if ish is just plain ol' stagnant. A good chunk of my friends are long distance and I would have loved to see everyone more often but we still ultimately got to see each other so that was good. I also met some new folk and I reconnected with others. All in all, I will say that it was a good year for friendships and I truly appreciate and feel blessed by these very diverse group of individuals.

Finances
I have money saved but I could have definitely put more away. To voltron for myself, I splurged on a bit of travel this year. On a better note, I made some grown up decisions concerning my cash money so that was a plus. In terms of debt, I only have student loans + a car note and so thankfully, credit card payments are one less thing to deal with. Generally, the finances in 'O9 weren't too terrible sha but I could have done better.

Education/Career
In terms of the career, I think that I have what most people would call 'a good job' and I don't disagree, I feel blessed to be in my position. The education part na another tori. This year I definitely bounced back and forth between options sotay the thing no get part 2. Let's see... I randomly decided to go for an Msc in Forensic Accounting (I was genuinely interested in the program), applied and got accepted for Fall '09 and then took a step back and decided that it might not be as diverse and marketable if I decided to relocate to Naija. Then I did what I swore I'd never do and actually started considering getting an MBA. My argument for this was that an MBA is very marketable and in some instances is almost as good as having a CPA (in case I got lazy and decided not to go the CPA route), I got a GMAT prep book and had my action plan set. Then... I fell off, lost my motivation and started observing people who took/are taking the CPA exam. Do they have 2 heads? I'm scared of the darn exam but yes we can, abi? So I ditched the MBA plan and decided for real, for real to hop onto 'Operation conquer the CPA exam', after which I could take the CFE and CISA exams and call it a day in terms of certifications, and that is where I currently stand. Don't even think about shaking your head at me... I got this! :-D
Reminds me of how I bounced between Computer Science and Psychology for college major options before finally settling for Accounting. Hahahaha!

Relationships
LOL. People keep asking why I'm single like there's some tree out there where chicks go to pluck hot and sexy men. For the most part I feel like the caliber of men who approached me this year were just not cutting it at all, and I don't even consider myself to be unreasonably picky. It was either that they weren't serious candidates...(just on some plain iti kom kom levels), they appeared to be a little too traditional or I just was not feeling them...zero sex appeal, zero swag (I know the word is overplayed but it is oh so accurate), just generally came off as razz and bush, like abegi we can only have one razz person in a relationship and that will be moi, thank you very much. So for the '09, I was/am quite singular and in all honesty, I can't say that I have any complaints about that status.

Physical Health and Fitness
I guess this will be a good time to confess that I have never been to the gyno for those check ups where they stick a piece of metal up in your goodies *shudders*, nor have I been to see a doc for a physical in errr 9 years *hangs head in shame*... It's so terrible that my friends have often threatened to disown me. Somehow sha, I have remained healthy and free of ailments and things. I'm actually kinda scared to go to the doc sef, in case they discover something. Ignorance is bliss yeah? So I really don't make resolutions but I resolve to finally make use of my insurance and go and see a doc. Why else do they deduct X amount from my checks if I aint making use of it. Smh...
In terms of fitness, I was on some gym steez earlier this year, gymed often, ate right and lost 10-12lbs or more. Then I fell off and gained it back and I was trynna go out the other day and realized that I looked like a stuffed chicken in all my dresses...so err that's definitely not good *makes mental note to hit the gym real soon*. But all in all, I am alive and well so we thank God.

Addictions/Bad habits/Social Life
I'm a shopaholic. That's my sport... to heck with Basketball and Soccer. I have close to 80 pairs of shoes and a ishload of clothes and accessories to show for it. I will say though that I made some shopping improvements i.e buying ish that I really wanted as opposed to buying just because it was on sale or it came in my shoe size and that's major 'cos I used to be so guilty of shopping with no real aim/ambition. I thought I was an internet addict but these days I truly do not have time to even do much 'cept for check my email so maybe not. I thought I was addicted to my Blackberry till I had to go without it for a week and I truly didn't miss it up, so maybe not. I guess shopping = main vice. My social life was good, I mingled, interacted, danced, drank and had a good time but I also enjoyed quite a bit of homebody bumming around in PJ's all weekend type of days so I think that it was a nice balance.

Miscellaneous
All in all, I give 2009 a B+. I might not have appeared to have my ish entirely together but mentally, I felt great! This was one of my most confident years where I just felt like I was generally doing the damn thing. I felt wiser, smarter, hotter, sexier, more intelligent, more secure of myself, more comfortable in my skin. I felt like my relationships improved and in general I just felt like this was a really fun year . As I advance into the new year, I can only hope and pray that by 2010 year end, I will be rating that year as an A+ year.

There you have it. 2009 in a nutshell...and on a final note, I just wanna say a big THANK YOU to everyone who reads and comments, lurks and never comments, the people who deem this blog worthy to be followed, the people who have sent me random emails (they truly make me smile), the bloggers that I have gotten a chance to interact with off Blogsville...who have been so helpful and caring, and my blogsville fam in general. Thank you guys so much for riding 2009 with me. I am so glad that we didn't have to mourn any of our fellow bloggers this year and I pray that as we advance into a new one, God (or whatever forces you believe in) will continue to keep you safe, alive and healthy. May your new year be a great and fantabulous one worthy of a A+ rating.

Much love. We go all jam in the 2010...

Random update of some sorts

Apt title...since I really have no title in mind for this one.

I will admit that it annoys me when people say things like 'I don't expect anything from anyone' in relation to friendships.
If you don't expect anything from your friends then who will you expect it from?
What exactly is it, that you do not expect? You don't expect friend A to offer a listening ear or helping hand when you need it the most? Then why is he/she your friend? 'Cos he/she offers great shopping advice and always has the first scoop on what is going on in Hollywood? I really don't get it... Maybe someone can explain it to me sha o. My own be say that if you don't expect anything of me then maybe you don't value me as much as I'd like you to and err that might be a problem.
I know, I know... My attitude towards a lot of things tend to leave little room for gray areas... Na so so black or white. Maybe I need to work on that ehn?
Oh and before someone comes with the 'humans are inherently evil' argument, like I always like to say 'give people a chance to mess up first'. No long thing...


I think its interesting how you encounter some people who swear that you are their personal person and what not, I like to think of these folks as being the empty barrels who make the most noise or like Kelly Hansome go tok am, this na serious case of iti kom kom. They make the most noise because when you actually need them to be more about the talk, and less about the action na so e go fly you like say you dey airport tarmac and British Airways just flew past you. Hmm hmm they aint slick indeed.

Some people are interesting, take 2. Whoever came up with the term 'be slow to speak' and what not, sure wasn't lying. I think it's quite interesting how folk get all emotional and say all this stuff out of anger, and then selectively forget their words in like 2 weeks. If you feel X way then so be it, don't try to come and be all LOL, smiley face-ish later on sha.

I'm watching MSNBC lock up, and tis quite interesting. One inmate in the mentally ill unit has been locked up since 1993 when in a delusional haze, he shot his mom and ate her brains. Wow!

I really and truly am so over it.

Some of my friends said that I can be 'surface'. Now I make an extra effort to share what I imagine to be adequate updates. I don't think that I'm surface, I just don't feel like most things in my life are gist worthy and for the rest, maybe I like to digest and turn whatever the heck it is over before I share. On the flip side, sometimes I get the feeling that people do not even listen in the first place, so why bother sef? I will admit that I'm definitely not one to talk about my problems though, I tend to internalize those ones a lot. In the past coupla weeks I've been on all sorts of emotional rollercoasters, highs and lows, hot and colds, bleh and okay etc etc and to begin with, I can't place one finger on what the main wahala is, talkless of even trying to talk about it with anyone. That is my story on that one, and I am sticking to it.

Some people don dey seriously fall my hand sha, but it really is all good.

I was telling someone how I've noticed how a whole bunch of caucasians be getting married early (I.e before 28-30, per my definition). 80% of all the oyinbo people that I work with are married. I also noted this at my old job. Another observation was that a bunch of them tend to get married to their high school sweethearts and sure enough, when I asked my senior where he met his wife, he said high school. I have now taken to generally checking for wedding rings on every Caucasian that I see/run into... At work, the mall, the train etc and a good number of them definitely be sporting wedding bands and rings. Interesting.

I cringe every time people use the term 'Akata' but I don't cringe for 'Oyinbo' sha. Is this a double standard? :-D

I just generally need the world to be straight forward with me. Are you loving me, or are you hating me? Do you like me, or do you not like me? Do you consider me to be a good friend or do you not consider me to be a good friend? Please circle Y or N. Dealing with people = sometimes quite challenging and I tell ya, I'm just about done with those guessing games. Let's all advance into the 2010 with a clear sense of who is who, and what is what...amen to that!

I watched the Blind side movie and I absolutely loved it. Initially I was cringing like 'the sappiness is killing me softly' and then I got into it. Loved Sandra Bullock's character and the lil boy as well. Prior to this, I hadn't been to the movies since June abi July. I guess me + the movies are really not meant to be. I wouldn't even have seen this one sef, if my coworker hadn't suggested that we go to the movies.

Ok I think I have rambled enough and really should stop here 'cos if you leave me, I go siddon here and just dey yarn/get stuff off my chest.

On a side note,I do not have my personal laptop on me, so can't make the rounds yet but I will certainly get to that soon (I hope), I'm doing the phone blogging thingy again.
I greet each and everyone of you, most especially my anonymous commenters who truly make me smile with the kind words.

Have a fantastic week.

Do you know your blood GenoType?

How many of you know your blood Genotype? Can I get a quick show of hands? When I say blood Genotype, I mean...do you know if you are an AA, AS or SS?

It seems that this concept of knowing your Genotype was heavily promoted in Nigeria 'cos I've met a whole bunch of people in this US of A, and when I randomly ask them...'do you know your blood Genotype?', I get a whole bunch of blank stares. It's especially interesting to note that the folk who are getting married in this day and age are equally just as clueless about this one, which I find quite surprising.

Just in case you don't know anything about your blood Genotype, make I edumacate una small small...abeg take am easy o, I no be dokita or Biology major.

If your GT is AA: You are pretty much set. You can marry an AA and your kids will all be AA, You can marry an AS and there is a % chance (not to sure the exact figure) that some of your kids will have the AS GT or you can even marry SS sef and your kids will have the AS blood type (worst case scenario).

If your GT is AS: You don't have it that easy. If you get married to an AS man/woman, there is a % chance as well that one or more of your kids will have the SS blood GT (worst case scenario), or the AS blood GT (best case scenario). So if you have 4 kids, 3 of 'em might be AS and one might be SS.

And, if your GT is SS: I advise you to just stick to trying to get with an AA individual or if you meet a fellow SS or AS man/woman of your dreams...you might just wanna consider adopting kids.

I hope that I have managed to convince and not confuse any of una. Anyone who has better knowledge of this kini should please feel free to pick holes in my 'edumacation' and show them the way o jare. No problem!

Soooo, ya girl's blood GenoType is AS and growing up, my ma always made sure to drum it into our heads...Whatever you do, do not marry an AS dude because you do not want to deal with the burden of having a child who has sickle cell (SS Blood GT). And so, armed with that word of advice, when I meet men...along with the preliminary 'Do you have a 401k plan' initial 20 questionnaire that I have prepped for them, I also ask them...'what is your blood GenoType?'... Ha!

I keed, I keed.

Actually, I never really paid much mind to asking men what their blood GT was 'cos true talk, I wasn't even thinking that far ahead but it all came back to me when I got older and I started dating this guy who I tentatively gisted my mom about. And being the forward thinking woman that she is, she asked me...'Do you know what his blood GT is?' and I said 'ummm...no'. But she gave me something to think about, and the very next day I asked him what his GT was and true talk, he aint know (he was born and raised here, wonder if that was a factor for not knowing). But that's another story for another day...or more like never. Ha!

This summer, I tagged along with my friend to ze Hospital. We went to see a mutual friend's brother who was admitted because he had a sickle cell episode (both parents are AS + she had an older brother who died from sickle cell complications, as well ). I tell you, seeing that ish up close and personal was not the business at all. The poor boy was hooked up to all kinds of tubes and was writhing around in SO much pain that by the time I walked out of that hospital, my eyes were wet with tears. It was truly humbling to see this with my own korokoro eyes, I mean...some people get problem for this world o. As a sickle cell child, there are so many restrictions on what one can do and those episodes occur every so often. Kai!

Sooo I did some thinking and I was like na wa o, as an AS babe I no wan carry sickle cell pikin na but does this mean that I have automatic grounds for NEXTING an AS candidate who wants to make me his baby mama? Nope. Like I mentioned, when AS meets AS and they make a baby, it's not going to be a 100% chance that the baby will be SS. Maybe baby # 1 will be AS and baby #2 will be AS but baby #3 just might be SS so errrm if you get 2 healthy babies, you fit end the discussion right there and adopt the rest. But on the flip side, baby #1 could be SS even if the other babies turn out to be AS so errmmm....

Also, if you are not anti-adoption, then sure you can marry whoever you want to marry without the fear that any of your children will have sickle cell blood type.

For someone like me who has this ridiculous ridiculous fear of childbirth, the intense pain (And all those episodes of 16 and pregnant aint helping matters), labor and the whole 9 yards...I am very pro adoption. If I met a man who said 'baby, let's adopt all the way', you don't even know how happy I would be. So ahem, if I met an AS man who said something along the lines of...'Let's not even risk having an SS kid, so let's adopt all our kiddies', I would give him a big fat kiss and say YAY. LOL...

I mean, I always say that it's already hard enough to meet a correct individual that you want to spend the rest of your life with. You gotta factor in 'family history', education, religion, if you're Igbo the fact that he/she is Osu could be a HUGE no-no, then you gotta think about Blood GenoType too? e no easy sha o!

Ah wellz. This ends my PSA for the day. Go home and ask your lovers if they know what their blood GT is. Let's edumacate ourselves on this kini!

CNN Heroes

I watched CNN Heroes and I must confess that watching some of those people's stories, did inspire a tear or two to spring to my eyes. My friend said that I am supposedly getting soft on her, and maybe she is right. I mean like...these people are nothing short of AMAZING.
There was a school bus driver in NYC who gets off work at 5pm every day, and then he and his family start their 2nd job which is full time cooking 365 days a week for about 140 homeless people in Queens, NY. He has 6 fridges in his house to store all the food stuff, and his retired mom who could be resting her feet and enjoying her days of no work and a hopefully nice pension chooses to stand on her feet instead and join in the cooking. One of the most touching things about his speech was when he pointed out that his sister (who didn't make the awards) stayed behind in Queens, NY so that the homeless men and women would not go hungry for even one night. That was my ultimate CNN hero of 2009.

There was a pilot who along with the support of his wife and 3 kids started an orphanage in Indonesia to provide shelter, comfort, education and food to abandoned babies/motherless babies/refugees.

There was a man who provides wheelchairs to disabled children in IraQ. You could just see the hope and gratefulness that these children and their families feel when they receive the wheelchairs.

There was a woman from Zimbabwe who was raped as a young child, and now provides hope and a helping hand to Zimbabwean victims of rape and abuse.

Among others...

I mean, I was watching and I was truly like WOW. These are regular and ordinary people like me and you, who are doing inspiring things. I know that I may not wake up tomorrow with a dream for a cause but I'm definitely filled with the urge to support, support, support.
I was happy to know that each of the nominated heroes will receive a 25k grant, and the Hero of the year received an additional 100k grant...all to support their causes.

More info on the heroes can be found here:CNN Heroes

And if you can, please do donate, support and make your own little (or big) mark in the world. :-)

Fudgemuffin

I don't like to curse. I cringe everytime I encounter someone with a potty mouth...and it's really not about being a goody 2 shoes or whatevs. It's just one of my things.

And so, for all your favorite curse words, I like to find nicer replacements. For instance:
Modachoker
The very common bish or beesh.
And my recent fave: Fudgemuffin which really should represent curse words of the 'F' variety.

Fudgemuffin!!!
That was exactly what sprung to mind when I landed at the Train station at 6:20am and realized that I had left my wallet at home. Modachoker!!! Who leaves their wallet at home? That precious wallet happens to contain my monthly pass for the train. What had happened was... I took it out of my bag to carry to the gym. I always take it out on my way to the gym cos my license and insurance card is in it, and you just never know...and I guess this time around, I totally missed the memo and forgot to stick it back in my bag.
So, I was faced with 2 options:
A. Go back home and retrieve it.
B. Wing it without the wallet, any form of cash and any means of paying for my commute back and forth.

I picked B. Hopped my pretty behind on the train, and when the ticket guy came around... I simply told him that I forgot my monthly pass and couldn't buy a regular one way pass cos I gots no wallet. He simply shook his head and walked away to which I called out a very sheepish 'thank youu' to his retreating back.
As for the 2nd leg of the trip, I just rustled up some change which should be enough to send me off on my merry one way commute.

I think that I might be able to find my bank somewhere in the vicinity so that should solve the problem of cash to make my way home.
Note to self: Never leave your wallet at home again. I can already spot the inconvenience from afar. No cash for my almost orgasmic morning coffee, no bankcard for any err...incidentals, no license + insurance just in case, I get pulled over for some odd reason or even worse, get into an accident (I reject am!) Etc etc.
I know, I know...who thinks that far ahead?

Aniwoos. I really was just looking for any excuse to update. I miss Blogsville + it seems that I currently appear to be having 'blogger's block'.
Currently typing from my phone and it really isn't bad at all, I can definitely get with the blogging from phone program.

Gotta run, but before I do I must say... HAPPY THANKSGIVING. There is a lot to be thankful for even though we do not realize it.

Ok gotta run for real, its time to catch the next train.

Peace and Love,
Mgbeks.

Confessions, Confessions, Confessions

It's Fridayyyy. Let me start the weekend right by confessing the following confessions.

I confess that:

1. The only reason why some people are still on my FaceBook friends list is JUST so that I can look at their interesting photo albums. Finito. Don't side eye me, you know you are guilty of that too.

2. I enjoy seeing people hooking up/meeting new new/talking to new dudes. It's a generally cute thing about the newness of relationships, flings and things.

3. I don't think that one is too old to make friends. Sometimes even at the age of 40, you may meet someone and it will be an instant connection.

4. I still don't know how to deal with what I think are the complexities in individuals and so my best strategy is usually to retreat and chill in my little corner. I think it works (for me at least).

5. I've been on this 'self destructive' diet plan where I have refused to drink H20 for the past 2 months or so. Like seriously, I can't remember the last time I drank water. I have also insisted on eating the fattiest and unhealthiest foods available. I drink like 2 cans of soda a day, I eat dunkin donuts croissants and muffins for breakfast and mega calorie steez for lunch/dinner and I have definitely gained a whopping 10lbs. *munches a pecan brownie as I type*
I was talking to my friend the other day, while I pulled up to the Wendy's drive through and she got on me about my so-called plan to bring sexy back (which sooo fell off effective Aug 2009) to which I responded that 'I will be back with a bang'. Trust me, I will. Hahahaha...I usually have my 'on the grind' and 'slacker' moments. Slacker mode is in full effect and I am enjoying it o jare.
a. It's winter time, aint no one seeing my frame underneath all these winter coats and scarves. Besides I need some extra fat to stay warm.
b. No boo to entice with a sexy 6 pack. *chortles*
c. I just feel like stuffing my face dammit.
Check back in a few months sha. :-D

6. Blood is NOT always thicker than water. Family is NOT always the set of people who have your best interests at heart. It is what it is...

7. I'm past the stage of expecting my friends to share a good % of the things that go on in their lives with me. In fact, I don't ask anymore. If you want to share, feel free. If not, no wahala. However, I do expect to be at least kept in the basic loop. How does one get engaged and you find out like 5 months later? Best believe that I would NOT be attending that wedding, if it was me.

8. I have not been to church in 2.5 months. Partly due to some out of town kind of commitments and partly due to a case of 'I just didn't feel like it'. I did mention something about an on and off relationship with the main G abi?
I will say though that I am in constant amazement of his infinite mercies and his grace. Even if I never enter church in a minute, I still try to speak to him as often as I can and I thank him because really, who I be??? I do not deserve anything, absolutely nada!

9. I have this friend who I have the most heelarious/interesting/random and off the wall Gchat conversations with. If anyone ever hacked into our accounts, they would be like WTH at some of our convos. Sometimes I re-read just for the heck of it and crack up, great blackmail material indeed. Ha!

10. I tend to let things roll off my back. I can't say that my life in general has been brilliant and oh so wonderful but I think that thanks to my outlook on life, I make it brilliant by force, LOL. I did a post on happiness a while back and commented on how in general, I'm like a happy kid (thanks to the simple things in life), but somewhere in my being I keep thinking that c'mon, it's not normal to feel this content and at peace, like the G-O-D is going to spring one nice one on me to test me. Hmmmm...
BUT till then, I will keep on trucking and loving my life as I see it, imperfections and all.

How una dey? I greet oooo.
I hope you lot have a very fantabulous weekend. I am supposed to be seeing Nneka in concert but why do I just wanna sleep all weekend through??? I actually went to bed at 9.30 last night. *blank stare*...na so e dey start!

Peace & Love.

Update!

Ha, the title fit am abi 'cos it is an update. :-D

Sweet Mother
My mother left me on Sunday after a 4 week stay and I miss her tons. I enjoyed having her around...it was always nice to come home to a nice warm meal (she always made sure of that), a hug and/or a smile and the latest gist (anything that I might have missed between the hours of 9-5...LOL). As I get older, my relationship with my ma keeps improving (cos we sure had our disagreements and things in the past) and we have gotten to a place where we now understand how each other operates well well. I was definitely very sad to see her go at the airport and I prayed that God would continue to keep her and bless her just as she has been a blessing to her entire family. Love you ma! BIGGG KISSS.
[/end sappy bit]


Life as a Commuter
I have now joined the league of individuals who commute to work and I love it. I do not miss driving, AT ALL.
There are some pros and cons. I will start with the cons first...
Cons:- I gotta wake up at 5:30am to keep up with the Train schedule. That's it.
Pros:- They outweigh the cons.
1. I've always enjoyed the hustle and bustle of the DC Metro System during rush hour...millions of people dashing to catch their Red, Orange, Green, Blue and Yellow lines (even though the next one is probably going to pull up in 5 mins but in this recession, I guess every 5 minutes counts), extra packed trains and the whole 9 yards...some people hate it, but I love it and it ain't any different this time. It's an excellent spot to people watch.
2. I just might cancel my gym membership. All that racing up and down escalators and through train stations + my job isn't that close to the metro so I gotta bang out a 10 minute walk to and from. This is the most exercise that I've gotten in a minute.
3. If you commuted in DC you wouldn't mind it. This isn't the Tin cans on wheels that exist in NYC. In DC, they boast carpeted trains filled with clean professionals and normal looking folk, bright and airy train stations and it is guaranteed that you will never see a rat dashing up and down the platforms, unlike the NYC subway system. (Just had to get my yab of the day in, I still love you New York).


Other things...
1. Na wa for this Fort Hood Massacre ooo. You know how you ask people if they will ever live in Nigeria and they say ish like 'Abeg o, I no fit. Too much armed robbers and lack of security'...but when you take a step back and think am, too much were (mad person in the Yoruba language) full this country ooo. Ah ah, you go tok say you wan go school...mad pesin go start shooting.
You go tok say you wan go work, mad person who dey vex say he got laid off will come and start shooting. Everywhere you turn, someone is shooting. There was even that mall shooting that occurred was it 2-3 years ago? Ah ah, all I wanna do is shop na. God save us all.
Meanwhile, isn't it always very interesting how fingerpointing starts to occur after ish like this? After 9-11, there was the fingerpointing and now this one. Hmm Hmmm.

2. So the ex-DC sniper; John Allen Muhammed is going to be executed at 9pm tonight. He claims that he is innocent. Very interesting. I will definitely be catching up on Larry King as he covers the topic. It's 2009 and I don't know how I feel about the death penalty.

3. A United Airlines pilot got arrested at Heathrow Airport for attempting to fly a plane with 124 passengers from London to Chicago while he was under the influence. This is just breaking news as I type, WTH is up with these pilots o. Abeg no be my life wey dem go carry play.

4. Happy Vets day in advance. I'm OFF and looking forward to a relaxing day.

Ciaooooo.

Secondary School: The different categories of Individuals.

I went to a very reputable FGGC. By reputation, our girls are known to be very fine, accomplished and generally very correct. (Hi Haters) :-D
A bunch of us also migrated to this end and so I've been hanging with them a lot these days. Every time we get together, we reminisce about how things used to back in the day, the punishments that we served… ‘Kneel down and fly your hands’ or those cries for ‘A junior girlllllll’. LOL. Fun times…

Either way, I had to sit and think about the categories of characters that we had in secondary school and so I present to you...

The Popular Jingos aka bubblers: These were the ones who were popular chicks in school. If we had a Press club or Senior Lit event, na these popular jingos wey go climb on top stage to mime to songs. They were known for being hot steppers and usually had official roles in all the happening social clubs on campus. People in this category usually ended up getting the role of Social Prefect and they knew all the who is who that there was to be known in school.

The Spiros aka SU: These ones were always in church or some kind of fellowship. You would NEVER find a spiro climbing on top stage to mime to songs. Ah ah, that one would be breaking news o. It would make headlines. Most of these spiros ended up being the Catholic prefect, the Protestant prefect or having roles in the fellowship scene. We usually kept an ear glued to their conduct off campus in order to determine if they were living the spiro lives off campus as well or if they were bubbling.

The Defaulters: Ah ah, if dem tok say write down names of noise makers, these ones would always make the list. Their ‘brush’ was on some defaulting status and they never obeyed the school rules. These were the girls who would scale campus gate or leave school without prior approval and permission. They hardly ever got roles as prefects because they had already earned a reputation as main defaulters.

The Daystudents: These ones were pretty much on the dry side. We didn’t know much about them, as they came and went after school was over. We did have a couple of bubbling day students sha but it was pretty rare. They were dry by default and only came in useful during Valentines day events when we needed them to help us buy gifts that we could send to our ‘vals’.

The Ajebotas: These ones were known for ‘janding’ every summer and coming back with some nice ajebo looking stuff. They had groupies and followers because of their ajebo status. If you looked inside their lockers, you were bound to see a bunch of rice kripsies and other ajebo looking provisions. These group of people usually ended up also falling into the popular jingo category.

The Americanas: This one na new one because one semester we got to school and discovered that a whole bunch of ‘Americanas’ i.e Girls who were born and raised in Yankee got sent back to Naija to go learn their culture or whatever. It was like an American explosion on the school grounds... Na so so we go dey waka pass and hear ‘schwi schwi’ phonetics…most of these girls by default fell into the ajebota category and these ones na the tried and true ajebotas for never in their lives had they ever had a reason to fetch water in a bucket and carry it for one mile to their dormitories, never did they have to take baths in such bootleg bathrooms or hold their faeces in for 1 week because the toilet situations was just not cutting it…amongst other things. He He

The Wannabes aka Swagger Jackers: In all sense of the world, these girls were naturally WACK and DRY but they were really sweating the Popular jingos, Ajebotas and what have you and tried their very best to be recognized as such. Unfortunately for them, we saw right through their BS and they ended up being the virtual punching bags of the people that they tried so hard to be like (although everyone else knew it, but they didn’t).

The Efficos aka Bookatees: My school had this habit of announcing the top 3 and bottom 3 in their classes on assembly grounds and the efficos never failed to make the list of the first 3. They were known for their studious and serious ways and a bunch of them usually ended up being appointed as prefects because they were considered to be a good representative of the school. Most efficos hardly ever climbed stage to mime.

The Bad girls: Some of them fell into the popular jingo category as well. These ones were known for being badoski babes. In fact rumor dey fly say some of these girls had done abortions (some of them dey use hanger for the abortions sef), while the rest of them were known for sleeping with their boyfriends. Abeg o, at 16 what did we know about sex? In my mind these babes were BAD girls. Na these same babes wey dey scale school gate to conduct rendezvous with men from the neighboring Government college. Most of these girls fell into the defaulter category as well.

The Razz babes: Just like we had our popular jingos, we also had our razz babes. Very razz babes who no send anybody’s side and so they got their own form of respect for staying so true to themselves.

The Outcasts: Those babes wey dey wet their bed even up till SS1-3, those babes that were known for stealing and/or being kleptomaniacs. Those generally DRY chicks who no one gave 2 chits about, na the outcasts be that.

The all rounders: They didn’t fall into any specific category and could relate with most people in the different categories. They were generally liked by all and were a good asset because of their versality.

Did I forget anyone?Ha! School was too much fun sha o. I sha observed that most of the efficos kept up the trend and turned out to be those super achievers even here in Yanks, the Popular jingos also kept the trend and some of the so-called outcasts actually metamorphed into some really correct chicks.

The IBTC

Yup, that’s right. I said…the IBTC. Don’t give me that blank stare, you no sabi wetin IBTC means? Ooooh you don't. Oya let me edumacate somebody up in this piece.
IBTC = Itty Bitty Titty Committee. Now don’t say I never taught you anything.

This post is inspired by a recent post by IphyIgboGal on boobage. She recently blogged about having big boobs and so I was like voila! I can blog about having some ittay bittay tittays. Cue the Beyonce now… All my single IBTC ladies, now put your hands up!

For purposes of this post…IBT’s = Ittay Bittay Tittays.

My friend says that I’m one of those weird people who don’t seem to have any body part complexes and I think that she’s right. I can’t think of anything on my being that I would love to change or wish I didn’t have, these IBT’s included. That wasn’t always the case though…growing up, when every girl was approaching puberty and coming into themselves, and wearing bras was the new and hot thing…I certainly had my fair share of ‘why me’ moments.
‘Why haven’t my boobs grown?’
‘When will they grow?’
‘Will they ever be as big as the rest of the worlds?’
I hated having small boobs and I had quite a complex about 'em. I would play around and stuff my bra with tissue dreaming of the day when I would finally fill out my shirts and tops like everybody else and as you know having boobs has always been hot with the men and so I felt like my lack of boobage seriously diminished my attractiveness factor.
I used to feel somewhat self conscious in swimsuits ‘cos that one na the real kobalizer…lmao, if you were rocking a padded bra which might have fooled somebody, the instant you break out the swim suit, ain’t not much fooling that you could fool anybody o jare. Oh, and remember how there was this myth about how if you go to sleep with your bra on, it would restrict the growth of your boobies? So best believe I made it a point to NEVER sleep with my bra on. Hmmph, some good it did me.

And till today, I have no freakin’ idea where I got these IBT’s from oo. All the women in my immediate family have some nice, decent sized boobage…even my mama sef dey wonder as she sometimes assesses my chest and says ‘Hmmph, I don’t know where you got these small breasts from, it must be from your father’s side of the family’. Eh heh, blame it on the other relatives. Lmao!

But aniwoos…
I got older and I realized that in terms of attractiveness factor, I had other things working for me i.e a decent sized tush (although that one don dey take style to decrease o…chei), hot and sezzy legs, a winning smile, a charming personality, a cute face, nice shape etc etc. Hahahahaha, I mean dudes better recognize that they can’t have it all o! Shiooooo, I mean if na the boobs or bobby (for my PH and Warri folk) wey no too full ground, then abeg the man go dey accurate and learn to work with am and seriously, no man has ever complained till date. Is he mad, abi dem no born am well?
That aside, I actually started to see the benefits of being the president of the IBTC and perks dey o...for instance:
-Like my friend and fellow blogger Tori will say, ‘bras are nothing but a fashion accessory to me’. As in, e no be by force, it is an option. I actually went out last weekend bra less. Hehehehe.
- Everything fits well and we can get away with wearing tops that might otherwise look quite scandalous on a woman wey carry serious bobby.
-When we finally get around to popping those kiddies and get to breast feeding and such, our boobs will be nice and full as opposed to fighting hard to defy gravity. *snickers*
-Back pains? What the heck is that?
-Strapless, tube tops and all the whole 9 yards? Bring it on baby!

Need I say more? The perks and benefits dey oooo. So needless to say, I have totally shed the IBT complex and even embrace the boobage or lack of it.

So once again, all my IBTC ladies…now put your hands up! And my ladies with big bobby, put your hands up too…one love mai pipu.

LOL.

On match making + I’m not anti-Igbo men

I was just reading SoulBoutique’s blog, where she spoke on how she has a nice male friend whom she would love to hook up with a nice young lady but she can’t think of anyone outside of her circle of already taken close friends.
This is the complete opposite for moi. I know a bunch of beautiful, GOOD, accomplished women whom I would love to hook up with nice young men…the only problem is that I do not know any nice young men who aren’t already taken. Truth be told, I don’t have a bunch of male friends who I’m extra buddy buddy with. The 1 or 2 that I’m really tight with are taken and everyone else is on a ‘give a hug and chitchat with at social events’ basis, I can’t vouch for those ones ‘cos I know absolutely nada about their personalities.
Seriously though, the general consensus amongst the ladies is that finding a good and correct man is not a beans in this day and age. And so I think that the process of matching making people would kinda sorta speed things up. You can create an awareness of someone whom guy X might ordinarily see and say ‘nahhh, not my type’ or girl A would see and say ‘nahhh, he’s too short’. I mean, check am now…when you go to guy X who might normally prefer a ‘thick, fine chick whose body set well well’ and you say ‘Oh boy, I don find ya future wifey o’ and proceed to list all the wonderful things about her, his interest will probably be perked. Then of course, he will say ‘Oya log onto FB make I see pic’ which he might see and still not be completely sold, but with your conniving salesgirl ways you fit pass her digits on and tell him ‘it won’t hurt to try and worst case scenario, y’all will just be cool friends’…guy takes the digits, gives girl a holla that eve and it could either be:

a. A 5 hour phone convo into the wee hours of the morning that will leave them both yawning at work the next day but still looking forward to round 2
b. A briefer version of the convo but with interest still sparked
c. Nyeeehhh but thanks Mgbeks for your efforts.

Life aint a fairy tale but it still won’t hurt to try. *Sigh*…unfortunately, I can’t even test my excellent sales skills since I no sabi dudes. But ladies and gents, think about it sha. Take a mental inventory of your correct and available friends and think about who you can hook ‘em up with. Love makes the world go around and who knows, you just might be featured on someone’s wedding website as the commander in chief who made the union possible. :-D

Back to SoulBoutique sha…
Apparently, the man who she wants to hook up lives in MD and so I asked the next important Q: Is he Urhobo?
Lately I have declared this sudden love for Urhobo men. I know a couple of them, all very nice gentlemen...correct men + they can all COOK. Ah ah, their mamas raised them well o. I no sabi the kain Jazz but Urhobo men have officially bumped Yoruba men out of the running for my numero uno draft pick. Tunde's and Jide's...y'all better come back and work at reclaiming your spot. :-D
And the rest of you may now redirect all your Urhobo friends, brothers and cousins to this blog *waves and blows kisses*…thank you very much. Hahahahaha.
But no be just specifically Urhobo o, in general I just like Edo and Delta men. It's just a strange thing, I hear that the man is from those parts and he automatically scores some mental cool points. And recently, after hearing all the rave reviews about Calabar men, I have decided that I would like to *ahem* sample those goodies as well. Hahahaha, I crack myself up. :-D

On a more serious note sha, I’m very equal opportunity. In fact, so equal opportunity that some people seem to think that I have no love for the Igbo brothers and I wonder why ooo. Maybe it's because all my #1 draft pick tribe preferences have never been Igbo, 'cos other than that I no sabi what else I might have done/said to give off that impression. To my knowledge, I have never specifically said ‘If his name is Ikenna, then NEXT’.
I mean, I will admit that I have some of my issues and notions about the ways of Igbo men and…In fact let’s just scratch that, I was gonna say more but I don’t want to open up a can of worms and have people start to vex and call me a ‘self hating’ Igbo woman who can’t appreciate her own people so make we just leave tori for tortoise. But on the real, I am not anti- Igbo men…that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. :- )

See? 2 updates in less than X days…tomorrow now Nicey m will accuse me of abandoning her.

Edit:- Bia o, Controversy...why you kon restrict ya blog nau?

Random tidbits relating to me, myself and I.

On that topic of hair, I am taking another stab at attempting to grow my hair *crosses fingers*. I want big puffy hair that will make Deji D smile, LMAO. Recently decided to put some color in it again, this time I went for a more subtle look. I really don’t do much of subtle and this summer, the color was definitely quite eye catching or ‘bold’ as someone said and I did enjoy the attention (good and bad) but change is good. Change is always good.

Speaking of attention, I’ll be the first to confess that I enjoy attention. I am after all, a LEO (Shoutouts to my Leos). The type of attention that I like is quite contradictory sha. I don’t like the spotlight type of attention i.e doing a fashion show or anything that has to do with hopping on stage with all eyes on me, but at the same time if I walk into a room, I want everyone to know that ‘she has arrived’ which in turn could lead to all eyes being on moi. LMAO, does this make sense? Don’t get me wrong, I am far from the little chicken that you will see running up and down the place in the quest to be noticed, I don’t even need to do that ‘cos when I catwalk inside, you have no choice but to notice me. Bwahahahhaha, let me stop…

You may be surprised to know that I used to lack major self confidence at some point in my life. I tell people and they never believe me. That’s a story for another day sha…Other things that they don’t believe about me:
-I’m really not the socialite that they think I am.
-I can actually be quite shy when it comes to interacting with men that I really like. They don’t believe this because I can be very flirtatious in general but the way it works is I will flirt to death with a man whom I have no interest in, and act extra shy and reserved with the ones that I scope. I-S-S-U-E-S.

I enjoy having a bit of height…5’7 but I wish I was like 5’9. My heels make up for it sha… I can’t even try to imagine life from the 5’5 and under angle but hey, on the flip side…apparently men seem to like them some petite women. LOL

I was saying on RepressedOne’s blog that I envy people with talent. Most of my friends have some kind of talent, and the numero uno one who makes me jealous can: dance and actually teaches it, cook (she needs to start a catering business too), organize events, do hair, is the owner and CEO of the fabulous One3snapshot (Shameless plug: http://www.one3snapshot.com/) etc etc. I’m turning a brilliant shade of green as I type this. Why, why, why…dash me one na. Love you Naks! :-D
But seriously, people sabi do steez o. Well my talent is that I know people with talent. Hehehehehehe.

My passion? This one na another one. I have no bleeding idea what my passion is. Okay okay I do, I would shop and write for a living but I’m too lazy to be consistent with the latter so let’s stick to the former shall we? I would shop for a living. Can I be someone’s personal shopper? Pretty pwease.

I've always been a huge style watcher. I read mad style blogs, I enjoy seeing street style in magazines. I always wonder what it is about people that shapes their style in general. i.e Why are some people more conservative and some more daring? Does it have to do with their personalities? I be hella curious about this one sha. As for me, I think I will say that my style is constantly evolving and changing. Back in the day, I used to be very ‘matchy matchy’ as in shoe and bag must match. And then I suddenly started to sway towards the ‘hell no to matchy matchy’. At one point I was very into the ‘punk rock’ look as in bright red lip color, fishnet ankle stockings and mini-skirts, etc etc. In college days, I was always the ‘t-shirt, skinny jeans and heels’ to the club and in the words of one observer ‘you’re one of the people I know who can wear t-shirt and jeans to the club and make it look hot’. I’ve ranged from safe to not so safe, my style…like my hair color is a constant change. These days, I just buy whatever catches my fancy but apparently it doesn’t catch a lot of other people’s fancy even though they always issue the 'but you totally pull it off' disclaimer. My roomie constantly chuckles and says ‘it’s your thing’ when I show her some of my latest finds, my dear friend calls some of my dresses ‘Mary amaka’ and claims that if she ever sees anything in a store that she knows she would definitely not wear due to its off the wall nature, she would buy it for me and one other friend always claims that I’m on a whole ‘nother P with some of my outfits. LOL…it’s quite hilarious, I don’t even think that what I wear is that random but hey! I just do me o jare.

In my quest to enjoy my life and try to engage in things other than work and the random weekend social stuff, I am participating in the annual Walk for Autism in DC, Oct 31st. I’ve always wanted to do one of these walks/marathons (after being inspired by my God-sis) but I was too lazy but now I actually got off my lazy butt. Next up, me and my friend wanna do a 5k *breaks out in a sweat*.
I enjoy seeing people who just get up and do it as opposed to saying ‘I would like to do this’ (story of my life). My roomie is taking a jewelry class for the heck of it. She makes jewelry…sorry, no shameless plug here as she doesn’t have a site up but her earrings are bangin’ yo. I stay getting compliments everytime I wear them. My inspiring God-sis recently ran the Chicago marathon and my homie just did the MS bike ride in Nu yawk. People who pursue stuff that interest them definitely inspire me 'cos despite their busy schedules, they actually hop off their butts and make out time for these other things. Roomie actually showed me the catalogue for the school where she is taking her jewelry class and some of what they are offering looks quite interesante, no definites yet sha o. It's nice to see and take note of, but make we start sofri sofri...as it is, I feel like my schedule is somewhat overwhelming but hey, something will eventually give abi? :-)

Did I mention that mi madre is coming into town this weekend? I am certainly looking forward to stocking up on some dry fish and okporoko. You know how they say that you only appreciate certain things as you get older? I remember when she used to bring that stuff for me years ago and I was like 'big deal', now that I am older and wiser, I appreciate the heck out of it and the effort that she puts into carefully wrapping these goodies up as they make their journey across the Atlantic. Every time I go to the African store and see the prices charged for these goods, I always offer a silent prayer up that I have a constant supply of it from Naija. I sabi open African store sef with the amount of maggi that I currently own. Recession dey o! Thank you mama...*muah muah*

And on a final note, what y'all getting into this weekend? I am having dinner tonight with peeps, and attending a baby shower with fam + 2 birthday events tomorrow (so much for trying to convince anyone that I am not a socialite). In between all of that, I will attempt to sneak in some episodes of Oz and cook for mi madre.
Let me sign off. I hope that you'se lot have a fantabulous weekend. For my East Coast people, this weather is not the business. DC/MD, how y'all like the rainy weather?
TX folk, any of you have any fine brothers/cousins? I'm officially sick of this weather and looking to move to some warmer parts...all I need is the man who will ship me + my entire walk-in closet out to his city. Hahahahaha.

Peace & Love.

Random thoughts about Hair...

In the light of Chris Rock's 'Good Hair' documentary (which I intend to see), and all the one million hair stories popping up here and there, I was inspired to give my own take on things.

On Nigerian women and weaves
My African American roomie and I were having one of our many random discussions, and this time it was about hair. She told me how she's observed that a bunch of Nigerian women seem to wear weaves and pointed how she had never seen some of my friends' real hair. It wasn't a mean spirited comment or anything, more like an observation. PS:- She has the right to talk, in my quest to 'Nigerianize' her, I've dragged her to a bunch of events that involved Nigerians and so I guess she was on her people watching game.
Aniwoos, after she said that...I did make it a point to kinda be on the look out (through observations at events/Facebook albums of events) to see if I could see what she was talking about and I do have to admit that yes, it seems that a whole bunch of Nigerian/African woman in general tend to wear more weaves than their own hair. Interesting observation...

On Natural Hair vs. Permed hair and Weaves
It seems that lately, the topic of natural hair vs. Permed hair and weaves has been coming up. I was actually surprised to discover that apparently a whole bunch of men claim to dislike weaves. It sure did come as breaking news to me sha o, since all the women that these men chase seem to rock their cascading curls of weaves very well and with no shame. Sometimes I think that these men love to contradict themselves...the same men who go on and on about women and fake hair are the same men who will drool over the Beyonce type of females. Get it together guys...(but that's beside the point, lol).
Some men even went as far as to criticize women who perm their hair accusing them of subscribing to the 'white man's standard of beauty' and what have you. I can't even pin it all on the men sha o, even as I know that some of my fellow natural haired sisters are on that Afrocentric tip and do look down on women who subscribe to this so-called standard of beauty.
As for me, I spontaneously made the decision to do the 'big chop' and wear my hair natural in 2002 abi 2003 after I was inspired by two of my natural haired friends, and I haven't looked back since. To be honest, my decision to go natural wasn't based off some black power/Afrocentric tip, it was more about trying something new and somewhat different.
Whenever I hear men criticize women who wear weaves, I am always quick to inform that them contrary to what they think, weaves might actually be easier to maintain than natural hair...they keyword here being 'might'. I mean (and correct me if I'm wrong), with the weaves, you pretty much run a brush through it and maybe a curling iron if you're in the mood, and then wake up and go abi? I know that for me, who once had something like a mini afro, maintaining it was a real headache and so I decided to chop it all off. Short, nappy hair is definitely and without a doubt the most low maintenance and least expensive way to go (if you're feeling bold). I literally wake up, run a comb through it and go...with the random cuts that occur every other month.
Before Sugabelly comes and shoots me, this is not an effort to dissuade anyone who wants to go the natural hair route. I do believe that if you choose to put in the time and effort to maintaining any type of hairstyle then you can do it, and if you're just a lazy bum like me who can't be bothered most of the time, you might wanna go the short hair route. When I had long permed hair, I never did anything to it either save for wear it in a boring old pony tail every day.

On short hair
I must admit that after seeing all the noise that people made about Solange's recent hair cut and how empowered she is and blahblah, I actually rolled my eyes. Why? In my opinion, it's just hair...long or short and so I don't see the big deal in a hair cut. True talk.
Maybe I am of this opinion, because I currently wear my hair cut as low as Solange's as well but truth be told I didn't think too hard about doing that initial big chop. As in, I didn't stop to think if 'it would fit my face' or 'if it would look good on me' and what have you. I just did it and thank you Jesus, it worked for me. Today I guess you can say that I am addicted to cutting my hair. Every time I see someone with a big 'fro, I get all jealous and resolve to grow my own hair so that I can make other people jealous but the instance I walk past a Hair cuttery, just know that it's a wrap. My mentality is 'it's just hair, it will grow back someday'.
Don't get me wrong, I know that not everyone can just wake up and decide to cut off their crowning glory and be 'naked' to the world, as someone put it... and that true talk, long hair in general seems to be more feminine but should a hair cut really create so much buzz? Or did the hair cut inspire that much buzz because seeing women with short hair isn't that common?...especially among the Celebrities?
Even for me as a regular around the way gal, I always get the 'wow, you are so brave for cutting your hair' type of comments and mentally I wonder what is really so brave about that, after all shebi it's nothing but a hair style? Or maybe it's considered to be a 'brave feat' when you factor in your attractiveness factor to the opposite sex. After all, I can best my last dollar that most men might prefer a woman with long hair but ultimately shey it all boils down to how I choose to carry myself abi? Long hair or short hair, I'm still a fab chick and can't no one tell me otherwise.

Sometimes, you are your hair
I was reading an article on Jaguda.com, where the author claimed to feel naked and not so fierce without her weave. See, I have always believed that 'we are not our hair' and so whatever you choose to rock, be it permed hair, natural hair, long hair, short hair, weaves or braids, it is considered to be your form of self expression HOWEVER on the flip side, if a woman feels incomplete without those beautiful waves of hair then in my opinion, you = your hair and your hair obviously defines you. Before you shoot the messenger, the author even said it herself and I quote:

"Then I remembered India Arie’s old hit “I am not my hair”. The case is not so for us “weavaholics”. I realized that from January, till date I’ve rocked my real hair for less than 2 weeks and I hated it and felt like I was empty, while with my 2 pack of 16 inch indian hair I felt sexier and ready. I literally became Sasha fierce, sexy and all. I also went through my facebook friend list and noticed that about 98 % of my female friends had weaves or wigs or braids on their profile picture. I still haven't seen some of my aunties' real hair because all they put on are wigs or weaves. With that being said, I came to the following conclusion...weaves are addictive and they have become my addiction or should I say “our addiction”.
Source: Jaguda.com

Very interesting stuff. And on that note, let me peace out of here.

I go catch una later...

On the Nigerian Independence Day Activities...

I spent 24 hours in the NJ/NYC area. Literally. Hopped on a 'red eye' bus at 6am, got there at 9am and managed to squeeze in a mini discovery of Ulta, Brunch in the city, a few naps caught here and there, a trip to the Apple store on 5th avenue (Freaking MADHOUSE), The Indy day parade and the craziness that was the after party before finally rolling into bed at 4am, and hopping on the next bus back to MD at 11am.
Sidenote:- I get energy o! I guess these bones aint that old. :-D
As we speak, I NEED to be sleeping but ask me why I am blogging and watching a Nigerian movie on OnlineNigeria.com. I do have Monday off, so best believe I will be making up for lost sleep.

Oooh guess who I met at the parade? Our one and only Nigerian Wendy Williams...Kemberly. I spied her from afar and proceeded to walk over and introduce myself. Best believe, she was very nice and warm in person, as she is on her blog and girl, my friend wanted to know the 411 on your fabulous hair. She told me that YinkusLoLo was in the building too...Yinks, I just might have walked past you o. Hehehehe...
Zena, what happened to you, you be no show? *side eye*

So, I am no stranger to the Nigerian Indy day activities that are held in NYC every year. In fact unlike the Nigerian Reunion, I believe that one can never get too old to hit up the Indy day parade. It's always fun to hang with your friends and eat some good ol' Suya while you give blank stares to all the foolywang looking individuals up in that piece, and lawdy lawd...the foolishness is always to the max. LMAO, as in no offense to my BK folk but ummm did the American Embassy specifically issue visas to all the extra razz people and assign them to Brooklyn, New York? My gawd! As in, you can just point out all those BK characters, it's quite funny. Every year, I always find some reason to crack up at someone's expense.
Abi you wan talk about the people that take the essence of rocking our country's colors to the next level? In one particular instance, a certain culprit was spotted wearing an oversized linen white suit, a white bowler looking hat, green and white chuck taylors and a green tee-shirt. It was quite heelar!
Foolishness aside, it honestly is a lot of fun to just hang with our people plus any chance to eat Suya is cool in my books. I'm saying...those Suya vendors must have made a killing charging $3/stick with that extra long ass line. I'm talking about a 30 minute wait time for 10 sticks of Suya. No be small thing...in fact next year, I dey buy table to sell my own suya, abi I fit roast plantain and corn for man pikin? Those vendors dey make moni o!

On to the freaking after parties. Yeah, as a seasoned Indy day pesin, I know enough to hit up the actual parade and stay away from the yeye after parties. Trust, I've been burned plenty times. The first time I ever went, they tried to squeeze 1 million people into a closet in Brooklyn and sho 'nuff the popos shut that ish down quicker than a speeding bullet. The 2nd year, something equally foolish happened and then I got the hang of things (add that to my other random experiences of partying in Brooklyn) and I decided to totally avoid any party that has a BK address and zipcode and stick to the Manhattan based after parties, which wasn't that much better. Still a ridiculous long line with some razz folk (not as razz as the BK parties, but still razz), over priced cover charge and some hella unnecessary hassle just to get your party on for a few hours.
So, this year I was really not fixing to go for any of the after parties...the 2 official ones were at C-PAC in BK and the Boulevard in Manhattan. (And then there were some misc wannabe after parties that I was told had like a total of 10 people in attendance...lmao). As in, I don fix mind say I go just stay in NJ and possibly hit up someone's ges togera but it turned out that someone that we knew was also having a birthday something at the Boulevard and wanted us to come through so we come pack our load and waka'd there.
Numero uno, as soon as we landed and saw that ridiculously long line, we almost walked back to the car but we con tok say okay, we don came up from Joisey, let's hang in there and chekirrout. As in, folks had been standing in line for ages just to get into the darn party. Luckily for us, we knew some people in power and so we were in real quickly, plus we didn't have to pay either... as in a big heck no to the $30 cover charge. Jay-Z dey thia? I mean, Wale the rapper was there but say who die?
As soon as I walked in, I was like 'is this what people are packing their selves outside for?'...the place take style resemble a freaking can of sardines. It was extra packed and it seemed that some people didn't get the memo about deodorant so my poor nose suffered for a bit until I safely made it over to the 'beche' side with the more correct looking people. :-p
Let me not bash too much sha, I mean it wasn't that terrible but still, if I had paid $30 to enter I for vex sha. Like, folk couldn't even dance without being bumped and abeg if I am paying $30 to party then I had better enjoy my $30's worth and get my party on.
Then again, I've realized that a lot of parties in this day and age appear to be for the 'stylers and profilers', as in those 'I didn't come to this party to dance, I came to walk up and down 10 times to see and be seen' kinda deal but that is another post for another day.
Long story short, we bounced after 1 hour and I have decided that for real, for real...that will be the LAST micki frickin' after party that I will be going for. I don't care if my BFF dey do birthday for there. I could have used the time spent going back and forth to the NYC to just jejely happily curl up and catchup on those Zzzzzs for real but it is what it is.

Oh and before I go, can I just send a quick PSA to my ladies:- PUT SOME DARN CLOTHES ON, LADIES. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR ASS AND YOUR TITTIES. Absolutely killing me with the 'I must be sexy by force' outfits that y'all be putting together. E remain small and I will see a nipple all in the name of looking hot and sexy. But you know what? I no too get the energy right now, I will bring this to y'all in a proper post. :-D

P.S- Nicey m my love. Dem born me well to abandon you for this blogger? Lai lai. I have found my blog mojo...welcome me back.
Thanks to all who checked up on me, I really do 'preciate it. I am bizackkk. Gosh, I don't wanna think about the catch up that I will have to do...eventually.

Alriight, tori don finish. Good night honeys.

I want my life back...

If you know me, you will know that I am CONSTANTLY crying about my state of internal disorganization. If you check the dictionary for the word 'Procrastinator', you will see my picture beside it.
I blogged about my constant state of organized chaos a while back and I got some good suggestions on how to change things but did I implement any of them? Nope.

I know the solutions, I've been told a million times but the process of actually hopping into bed and attempting to catch 8 hours of sleep, drinking my required 8 glasses of H2O and eating healthy, nutritious meals and mastering the art of effective time management is much harder than you think.
I actually envy people who appear to have it together and everyday I wish that I was more organized.

Well, that has to change sooner than later.

I mean...I had to take a step back and analyze the situation well well and ask myself a couple of questions.

-Why do I get these frequent headaches? Duhhh, 'cos I only get about 6 hours of sleep max + bad nutrition.
-Why did I go back to square one after all my hard work from gyming earlier on this year paid off? Because I haven't bought groceries in Lord knows how long and when a girl can't even gather enough time to cook some nice home cooked meals, and the typical breakfasts, lunches and dinners consist of take out, fast foods and a whole bunch of processed unhealthy ish...how won't it start to reflect on my body and my skin? Not to mention my wallet...
-Why do I need a SKINTERVENTION asap? Once again, duhhhh. The poor nutrition + lack of enough sleep + I can't remember the last time I drank water.
-Why can't I schedule time to get this oil change done? I mean, I could do it on a Saturday but I'm too busy catching up on all the sleep that I've been missing out on during the week days.
-Why do I feel so tired and unmotivated during the day? Back to the sleep thing. I mean, how do celebrities do it? What the heck do I be doing up at 2am in the morning sef? It's not as if I'm even doing love talk and slow jams with a man sef. Mchewwww...
-Why do I constantly feel so stressed out? Lack of effective time management!
-Why are my relatives mad at me for not keeping in touch like I should? It all ties back to the time management thing + the constant feeling of stress. Every chance to enjoy some 'me time' is treasured and lately I've been screening a bunch of calls like whoa and then I procrastinate on calling them back...Gosh, I have 12 voicemails to check. Who procrastinates on checking their voice mail?

These are just a few of the questions that I asked myself.

What can I do to implement some kind of change?
1. I can limit my internet usage. I spend way too much of my personal time on the internet...on these chat things, constantly checking emails, reading blogs, commenting on blogs...the whole 9 yards. I could be doing other things like reading more books, watching more TV, studying for the GMAT as I've belatedly decided to go the grad school route (so that my bride price can be higher *winks*), sleeping and even getting around to checking those voice mails and returning those calls.
2. I can create a to-do list and 'tackle plan'.
3. I can modify my lifestyle i.e switch up my work hours a bit so that I go in earlier, get home earlier and have more time to my self (thankfully, we are blessed with the flex. work schedule at the J-O-B), attempt to get more sleep and generally live a better and more efficient lifestyle.

Just a few solutions which I intend to implement. Wish me luck!

And on that note, my current job assignment location limits access to all the 'fun' websites i.e Blogger, Facebook and such things so unfortunately, I'm unable to check out this site for a good chunk of that day and frankly speaking, after work/post work commitments I'm just too tired to even attempt to make rounds. Please no vex o...I still love you guys, and I will drop by whenever I can. Na me and una for this side of the internet oooo. :-D

P.S:- ProudPrick, whoever you are...dude, you are HEELARIOUS. Ha Ha Ha!

Make I sha waka ooo. Till we jam again nah!

G'nite.

The bride price formula...

This past weekend I: Sat on my bed and finished a mini tub of Edy's Drumstick Icecream...all 1000+ calories of it, watched 3 movies- I love you man, Obsessed (TOTAL waste of my brain cells) & Confessions of a Shopaholic, Hit up Barnes & Noble for some material, went shopping for household goods and watched the VMAs yesternite while I stalked all the FB statuses about Kanye's foolish behavior and Lady Gaga's madness. That woman needs Jesus but I absolutely love it! Lmao
How was your weekend?

PS:- I STILL need a personal masseuse on call 24/7.
PPS:- I have found a new blog boo...David someboribobo (That is how I read his name and I kid you not), the man can bake meatpie. Need I say more? (He doesn't know that he's taken yet, but he is...all husband snatchers should instantly take note and back off)

Speaking of which...A man who knows how to cook = An asset. I gosta teach my sons how to cook o...I will insist that they come into the kitchen and watch me throw down so that when they grow up women will not be making shakara for them + for each dish that they can make, the amount of brideprice that they will pay will decrease. Abi now... :-D
Oh y'all aint know that I have my brideprice formula? Aight...let me edumacate somebody up in this piece.

Mgbeke's Official Brideprice Calculator:

• The woman sabi cook (Let's add $5,000)
• If she sabi cook more complex dishes that transcend beyond the typical Egusi, Jollof Rice...i.e Isi ewu aka Goat head, Ugba aka African salad, Ofe Owerri and even international dishes for some diversity (We go add an additional $5,000)
• Can she bake? (Extra $5,000)
  
• Does she have a Bachelors degree? ($5,000)
• What kind of degree did she get? If it's something random like Early Childhood education (We no go add moni...abeg my ECE majors no stone me abeg :-D), Anything in the business field ($5,000...make it $10,000 for Accounting and Finance...LOL), Engineering, Computer Science and 'em techie stuvvs ($15,000)
  
• Does she have a Masters degree? Double the amount for all the categories...if na Law school we go triple am and if na Med school, we will triple am + 1 Hummer and 1 Ferrari each for both parents. Is it a beans to go to Med school?
  
• How exposed/well traveled is she? If her idea of taking an annual vacation is going to the Nigerian Reunion on a yearly basis...we no go add moni. If she has been to a variety of places/been exposed to a bunch of cultures...we go add an additional $3,000
• For every additional language that she can speak apart from English, we go add $2,000 each...after all even in the Corporate world, it is an asset for one to be bi-lingual. PS:- For such purposes, Pidgin = A Language. Lmao!

All this moni na on top of the regular amount of brideprice wey man go pay because hin see one fine correct babe wey hin wan marry. After all, we don conclude say e no easy to pluck a flawa from one's garden...abi I lie?

Now, for my dudes...make una heart no beat too fast as una don analyze this my list. I trust say some of una don observe this list, plan on how you go waka home and break up with your long term girlfriend of 4 years as per you no wan collect cardiac arrest on top of paying bride price. Abeg o, chill first...I no send una. When dem send Shekpe on top ya head, you go tok say na Mgbeke cause am.
Calm your beating hearts down 'cos I gotchu! The bride price wey una fit pay go reduce if and only if:

• Can you cook? If so, we go reduce the woman's bride price by $2,000. So in the end na $3,000 wey you fit pay. You still gosta pay moni because odds are that the woman will take up majority of the cooking in the marriage so you gosta pay moni for that sweat wey she go sweat on top the hot stove.
  
• Can you cook the complex dishes mentioned above? If so, we go reduce the bride price by $1,000.
• Do you have a Bachelor's degree? *Ahem*...we shall only reduce the B.P if you majored in the sciences/techie/some areas of business so abeg if na Psychology, the above mentioned Early Childhood education, Social work and such fields...in fact we go even add an additional $5,000 on top the Bride price wey you go pay because it is absolutely NOT manly for you to go to school and not major in Medicine, Law, Engineering, Accounting or Computer Science. LMAO. *Tongue in cheek*
• Masters/Advanced degree? We go reduce am too and if you go Med school/Law school and are guaranteed a starting salary of at least $200,000/year (after residency and such things), then we go cancel out the entire bride price wey you suppose pay sef and na we wey go come pack dowry on top your head...after all as women, we are encouraged to chase down the dokitas so that we can live in a nice big house with a white fence, send our kids to private schools only and drive the 2020 Mercedez Benz wey you go park for garage. *Winks*
• Are you well traveled and bi-lingual? We go negotiate with the village heads and come to a decision on how much we wan reduce the bride price we you go pay.

Hehehehe, so you see my dudes. I got covered y'all too didn't I?
So *ahem*...it's not too late guys...go and learn how to cook. And if you are in any kind of Major where every Christmas, you visit Nigeria and someone asks you 'Chinedu what are you studying' and you have to engage in a 10 minute conversation in an attempt to explain what the heck you are studying then I suggest that you drop out of school and re-enroll with a career path in Medicine...(it might cost you $1M in student loans, but you will save a substantial amount of money on the bride price..LMAO), plus...when you go to Nigeria and they ask you 'Chinedu, what are you studying?'...you can proudly puff out your chest and simply answer 'Medicine' while you watch for the appreciative glint that will suddenly appear in the asker's eyes.

Thank me later.

The end.

I am not a Man-Hater

You know, when people started accusing me of being a male hater/male basher, I used to brush it off and say 'yeah right, me ke?'. But lately, I’ve been getting that a lot… ‘I read some of your FB comments on certain topics, you are such a man hater’, ‘Why do you bash men so much?’, ‘You come off as such a feminist nazi’…Man hater. Male Basher. Feminist nka nka…na wa o!Last weekend, there was the typical men are from mars/women are from venus discussion and my friend actually came to grab me, talkin’ about… ‘Are you guys looking for a man hater to state her opinion? Here she is...’ or something like that. I mean like, shuooooo. LOL, I know not what they speak of ‘cos I am INNOCENT.
Hehehehehe…I mean, a girl can’t even be out spoken about things and fly under the radar no more. Truth is…and I continue to issue this disclaimer:- I am NOT a man hater. The sight of men does not make my blood boil, I haven’t gone upside someone’s son’s head with a frying pan yet neither have I poured hot water on some poor man’s genitals so what are they talking about? I really and truly do not consider myself to be a man hater.

I mean…someone once asked me if a man had ever done me dirty in my lifetime and I replied and said ‘sorry to disappoint but I have no sob stories to share…’. Does a man have to do me dirty for me to call a man out when he’s being a pure and darn fool? *rolls eyes*
Granted, I admit that sometimes my approach can be a tad bit aggressive but that’s what you get when you are TRIFLING man parading around the face of this earth. I have no patience for y’all and I will continue to call you guys out on your foolishness. Just because I refuse to sit back and turn a blind eye to the madness don’t make me a man hater na. *Re-adjusts halo*
I remember when Steve McNair got kilt by his jumpoff and I texted one of my male friends expressing how I felt absolutely no ounce of sorrow for the man, and how I hoped that all married men would learn from such an unfortunate incident and hopefully keep their roving eyes and penises to themselves, and I tell you… ol’ boy caught a case o. Accused me of being a man hater, couldn’t believe how insensitive I was blahblahblahblah. Pssh…men, don’t get mad when I call y’all out and state the obvious. I’m not going to retire from my outspoken ‘male bashing’ ways sha o so everyone who thinks I’m a man hater should keep on thinking. :-D
Like one of my desk calendar quotes says… ‘When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch’. It is what it is...

And yes, it goes beyond trifling men…
There have been WAY too many of those men are from Mars/Women are from Venus types of discussions and I think I’ve just about heard all it is that men have to say and as always, I issue my counter argument/opinion. The various ‘dating do’s and don’ts’ and the knowledge that these species really think that they are dropping on a daily basis:

'Don’t buy a luxury car or a house, it will intimidate men'
'If you’ve been with more than 10 men, you’re a ho and no man will wanna marry you'
‘Men don’t like a woman who parties too much, you won’t be considered as wifey material’
'Go and learn how to cook. Men like a woman who can cook'

etc etc. P.S:- If I hear that ‘wifey material’ word one more time, I will scream.

Uh uh, it’s a man’s world…or so they say but I’m one woman who will continue to state her opinion in this man’s world. And let me state this opinion real quick...
PSA to my men: The existence and sole purpose of women on earth is not to be married off to you, get knocked up with your 5 children and cook all your meals. We too have lives to live, places to go and things to do. We will not put our lives on hold and turn into boring stagnant stepford mickfricks all in the name of being considered 'wifey material'...imma need y'all to get with the program and save the darn rules and regulations for your sister or something.
The absolutely heelarious thing is that these culprits end up marrying women who are the complete opposite of who they swore made up the ideal wifey...the man who swore on the head of his bear bear that he would not wife a 'double digit ho' will marry a 100 count prostitute and in the end, who will the joke be on?

Seriously, it really does get my goat how these dudes think that we ladies are sitting around waiting desperately to be scooped up. A woman can’t even have standards no more without y’all coming at us with the ‘You are 30, your mates are married…be there feeling picky’. Excuse you? Who sent out the memo that 30 was the cut off age? And who told your 5’6, broke, living with your momma at age 30 azz that any 30 year old fabulous woman would EVER give you the time of the day in this world or the next even if you were the last man on planet Earth? There is more to us than our vajayjays, our cooking skills, our so called submissive attitude and everything that you consider to be qualities desired in the so called wifey material. It is absofrigginlutely ridiculous!

How do I hear a man spew a senseless comment like ‘Men will cheat, it’s a man’s world…you women need us anyway’ and sit back and let the foolishness slide? When I tell the man that don’t nobody need his foolish self for shishi and I can do bad all by myself, he calls me a man hater. Hellooo, how do I even get with a fool like that? Abeg o...make all man know their levels.


Ok Ok, I just realized that I’m totally NOT doing a great job trying to convince anyone that I’m really not a man hater am I? LMAO. I mean what I’m really trying to say is…Argh! I give up…lol. But…like I said, I, the Original Mgbeke do not hate men. In fact, every man on earth should appreciate my outspoken ways sef. Trust that I will never fail to keep you my darlings in check. :-D

*Blows kisses to any man who happens to read this*. LMAO.

Haphazard Post-Labor Day Post...

...as I nurse a lack of sufficient sleep induced headache.

Hallo Blogworld. How was your Labor day holiday weekend (for my Yankee based folk?). I hope that it was filled with enough grilled burgers, sodas and all that good stuff.
I spent mine in the good ol' NJ/NYC. About time I returned since it was beginning to be quite sad how a self proclaimed NYC groupie like me hadn't visited in almost 1 year. 1 year ke? I mean, NY just dey for my backyard naaa.
But ahhh how I heart the city of New York. I kid you not, every time I visit, I start cheesing and I immediately feel like I'm at HOME. What is there to not love about NY? I mean...eventually you even gotta love the ridiculous crazies on the Subway and those infamous NY subway rats. I always say that your NYC experience aint complete until you encounter a subway rat. Forget what you saw in the Sex & The City movie. Hmmm, now to find the NYC based man who I can trick into marrying me and moving me out there since the job front doesn't seem to be working on the relocation tip. Hahahahaha...

On some book related yarns: Ok, I read 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' and my tearducts were absolutely dry...for those of you who swore that it would make me cry. Great book though. I am officially adding Mr. Hosseini to my list of favorite authors. Oooh and I got 'The thing around your neck' in the mail. Chimamanda is pure genius. PS:- I heard she got married 2 weeks ago in my hood. Why wasn't I alerted? I would have crashed the wedding in a very shameless manner. LOL...don't side eye me, that's my 'niggi' yo (although she doesn't know it yet). Ha Ha!

In the words of my favorite MochaHourGlass, I've been having some epiphanies and what not. Jesus take the Wheel. I just need some serious guidance and direction in my life right now, wooosahhh. Thank God for people who tirelessly hear you whine about the same topic over and over again and don't scream at you. LOL. :-)...no, really...Thank you!
Ultimately, I need to get it together and quit feeling so overwhelmed. (Which is what I kinda sorta feel right now), I think that I will be okay though. Amen to that!

My headache just moved to the right side of my brain. These headaches have been pretty frequent of late. Someone suggested that they might be migraines in the making? No idea. I need to adjust my sleep schedule. No scratch that, I need to adjust my LIFE schedule.

If someone asks me if I'm a moody individual, my instant response will be NO. In fact moody people even kinda sorta annoy me sef (when they can't keep their mood swings in check), or maybe I just don't know how to handle them. But lately I've been having a whole bunch of internalized mood swings and general hot and cold feelings towards things and people. So umm yeah, maybe on the outside I may appear to be 'constant' and on the inside it's 5 seconds into hot and a sudden switch into the 5 second chill. But maybe the whole thing about 'taking charge of your day and your emotions' appears to be working some 'cos these so called swings don't even last for up to 10 minutes before it's peace, love and happiness as usual. But still...why are they so constant? And why is everybody suddenly annoying? Now I'm rambling...

It's a Blackberry World Domination. My friend hosted a Labor day get together this weekend and I tell you, if there were 50 people at her crib, 40 of them had Blackberries. Ha Ha! 'What's your pin'...Blackberry holders, we are taking over and if you aint with the movement then you need to get with it before we rule the world. Muahahahahahahaha... *Evil grin*
PS:- Just discovered BrickBreaker and I'm an addict. Yes I am. I know, I know...I've owned my BB for almost a year and I'm just discovering Brickbreaker? Tsk Tsk.

Who in the world came up with this no white after Labor day rule? Ha Ha! I guess I'm about to break every rule in the fashion book with that one. As long as the weather is nice and warm, all white tops, bottoms and shoes in my closet. No be small thing.
Who comes up with these fashion rules sef?

Absolutely need to hop my azz into bed within the next coupla minutes. Grrrrrr, so not looking forward to resuming work tomorrow. My B-O-S-S is officially one modachoking wizard of a winsh. Bombastic individual. Na me and him for this America o, make the bobo n vex me too much 'cos I swear the kain African craze wey hin go see ehn. He finna be like 'these Angry Black Girls don did it again'. Just wait for me...recession or no recession. Ultimately hin suppose know say Khaki no be leather and if hin tok too much nonsense, we fit put leg inside one trousis. Shioooooooooo

Master plan = Effective!

I was alerted that my blog is filled with a whole bunch of rants...(I still say it aint so sha)...but even if it is so, isn't ranting on my blog better than calling my friends and constantly dropping rants to them on the phone? If I kept this up I can imagine that by week 3, someone would have sent my azz to Aro mental hospital abi I lie? I do enjoy a good ol' rant and blogsville is a good place to woosah and rant it all out. I can even rant about my winch of a wizard boss while his unsuspecting ass is in the same office as moi. :-D
I mean on the real, sometimes I be ranting about the fool to someone on the internet and he will come ask me a Q, and I answer it with my angelic demeanor intact. Ha Ha!

What do you reckon the average age on Blogger is? I've seen quite a number of bloggers on the 30+ end, and quite a number on the 18-19 end too. What say you?

And on that note, I am out.
If you could keep up with the randoms, kudos.
If you couldn't...never mind, I assume that you would have hit the nice red X by now.

I hope and pray that this week will be a better one for all of us. Say what you mean and mean what you say and ultimately remember to work hard, play hard and be kind (Coined from my Glamour Mag)

Good night and sweet dreams. See? Blogging is good for the soul...I feel better already.

PS:- Leggy, come and kneel and raise your hands. Who gave you permission to go private without my consent? Mchewwww.

An Interview with Muyiwa

Apparently, Muyiwa thought that I was cool enough to interview and so he did a quick one. Thanks a lot bro, I’m quite honored.
Check out the interview here and while you’re at it peek around his blog a lil. He's definitely on the grind in the Entertainment industry plus he has a really nice playlist that I enjoy listening to while I’m working.

And yes, this qualifies as a real update. Hehehehe….

A little stroll down memory lane...

Raise your hands if you were guilty of any of the above. :-D

-I remember growing up and my parents were on the strict side. Who born the maga wey wan collect boyfie at 15, 16? So when guys wanted to call me, I would tell them to call my house and ask for my brother, just in case my parents picked up the phone…so that if such a thing occurred, my bros would use style and pass the phone to me when they weren’t looking. Chei, one day my mama caught me sha o. Hahahahhaha…now it’s heelarious how she calls me now asking who the dudes in my life are. LMAO

-I remember when we used terms like ‘Omo that guy dey razzle me’, or that guy dey ‘chyke’ me. ‘Toasting’ still reigns though. Who dey toast una now oooo?

-I remember when guys used to put effort into ‘toasting’ babes. As in, dem go make arrangements to scoop you up, carry you to Mr. Biggs while you blushed over your meatpie and fanta and he would drop lyrics laik say nah hin be the reigning emcee on the block.

-I remember when the toasting stage would lead to the ‘asking out’ stage and as a bigz babez, you had to form o. There was no way a guy would ask you to be his girl and you would instantly reply with a ‘yes’. We always said…’let me think about it’, even though you know say you go marry am if hin propose sef. Of course you would use like 1-2 days to think about it while the bobo’s heart would be beating rapidly. Chai! In this day and age, do guys still ask women to be their girl sef? Hahahahahaha.

-And speaking of being toasted, I remember the goody bags that toasters would bring. I remember when I used to go to lesson and this toaster of mine brought a goody bag filled with cookies a.k.a biscuit, candy a.k.a sweets and chocolate, five alive etc etc and all my friends gathered around me oooh-ing and aah-ing and of course some people wanted to just join and chop the food. When I come tell the bobo say I no want, his friends called me oh talkin’ bout…’after all the money that he spent on you. He spent N700 to buy you those goodies’. LMAO…then N700 was a big deal sha o.

-I remember all those baffs that used to reign. Pedal pushers, elbow tops, hipsters, spaghetti strap…you name it! Kai, e get some babes wey dey operate on some strictly DIE HARD movement, as in dem go carry long sleeved top to the tailor make hin adjust am to instantly produce an elbow top. Voila! Or they would cut leggings into pedal pushers. Hahahaha…it’s quite funny how we were all so into the latest trends then and these days some people couldn’t care less.

-I remember when guys used to actually write love letters and some of those extra ones who would be singing on the phone. LMAO.

-I remember when we would go to parties and after a while they would turn off the light talking about ‘it’s time to dance blues’, and all we prudish babes would quickly go and find our seat, after all good girls like us did not dance blues with no guy. And for the girls that remained standing, we would gist about them the next day talking about… ‘That Nneka is a bad girl o! She was dancing serious blues with Tommy at that party…’. HahahahahaBut on the real, speaking of dancing…we used to maintain a safe distance will dancing, none of that backing up like they are sexing on the dancefloor type of steez that one sees nowadays…and for man’s hands to even reach my hips, was such a huge thing. LOL, I really used to be a goody goody sha.

-I remember when babes used to borrow baffs and it wasn’t nothing. Your girl would call you and say ‘Men, e get this party on Saturday…can I borrow that your blue spaghetti stap top?’ and you’d say…’no problem, I’ll be home by 5pm so come and collect it’. Good ol’ days.

-I remember when not everyone had a cell phone and certainly not a home phone so sometimes the best way to contact some people was to call their neighbors house and the neighbor kwa would go and find them…but ultimately, the lack of phones strengthened our friendships as we were forced to go and visit each other.

-I remember ‘chancing’ at Naija parties. You would be dancing with a guy and another guy would come and chance the guy that you were dancing with. Ha Ha! Try that in Yankee and see if someone don’t kerk out on your a-z-z. Oh, and guys used to actually dance with guys and it wasn’t nothing…now all this homophobic kini don reared it’s head.

-I remember as bigz babez we did not want to be caught dead on an Okada but you had to get to where you were going so we would hop on it and take style to hide our face… unless you were like the konk ajebo that had a car and driver at your disposal 24/7. But don’t knock Okada o, na on top Okada wey some babes dey meet their man. I mean…imagine you on top the Okada with your cascading waves of weave flying in the wind, na so some bobos go just tell their driver… ‘follow that bike’ and that is how this girl I know met her husband. True talk. :-D

-I remember those summer lessons. PH in the house? E get one reigning lesson wey dey for 2nd artillery abi na Rumuodara, one of them sha o. Me my work at that lesson was to wear my latest baffs and look cute. I used to skip classes like a good # of the time sotay one of the teachers actually came to visit my mom and report me. I just denied am sharp sharp! LOLThat lesson was totally hitting sha o. Na there wey babes dey find summer boo and what not. Ahhh memories.

-I remember going to buy soda a.k.a mineral and you would have to carry a bottle to give the mallam or return his own bottle. Or when guests would come and you would make a quick run to buy them one bottle of mineral. My mom gave up on buying crates of mineral because it would be gone within 2 days. And stuff like Five Alive and Just Juice? That was a complete luxury. Hahahaha…America good sha ooo.

Man so many memories sha and there is more where that came from. I know without a doubt that I had one of the best childhoods evAr and I continue to look back on those days with fond memories.
What do YOU remember about the good ol’ days?

*Edit:- I just had to call all you guys out...you know the ones that used to approach babes at parties and say 'excuse me dance'. Yes ooo, I remember y'all. Olu, Webround, Bagucci...make una come confess oooo.
Funny story, e dey this Aba bobo wey don watch too much Gangsta movies, na hin he con see one babe wey just return from Yanks at one party and so going off his gangsta lessons hin con approach the babe and said...'let's dance Bitch' in a very igbotic accent. *Dead*