Tuesday, May 13, 2008

You know how you go to an event...

...and you see someone looking like pure FOOLYWANG material and you just know that when they were getting dressed to leave their house, they really really thought they were doing the damn thing.

My people! We have to do better. Say no to foolishness!

My dudes:

Say no to popped collars in the '08. That ish is soo friggin' played out anyway. (Hehehehe..not a lot of people feel me on this one)
Say no to by force metro sexuality. Say no to those velvet blazers, floral shirts and skinny jeans. Ish just aint cute.
Say no to feminine looking cardigans, ridiculous looking waist coats and all that nonsense that you consider to be european style. Some people can pull these things off and some can't. It's not by force o. Just wear your shirt and trousis and come on out, you will still get numbers.
Say no to shades at night. That was not, is not and will never be cool. I don't care if Celebs do it. They look a hot mess too.
Say no to tight shirts if you have a beer gut. Marra of fact, I'm leaning towards saying no to tight shirts in general.

My ladies:

Say no to by force abortion belts. Like dizamn! The essence of an abortion belt is to accentuate your outfit and not make your outfit look like a hot mess. I have seen females wearing spagetti strap tops with abortion belts. *blank stare*
Say no to horrid make up, mis-matched foundation, very obviously drawn in eye brows. Just say no! Go to a Mac/Bobbi brown counter and have someone do a professional job and show you how they did it.
Say no to shades at night. Oh yes, y'all aint exempt either.
Say no to ashawo + ashawo. I'm not fashion expert, but I do know that if you wear a short skirt/pum pum shorts, you shouldn't wear a revealing top. It just takes away from the outfit and makes you look ashawo-ish.
And speaking of ashawo, just say no to hoochie mama outfits. You don't even know how much of a damn mess you look. I went to this parry and saw this babe wearing one mini dress..Ok, no shakings. But the dress come take corner, corner split down the front so na her big bobby wey just dey assail our poor eyes. Haba!
Say no to by force matching. Haba! Red belt, red shoe, red bag, red earrings. You wan blind me ni?
Say no to bad weaves/braids that needed to have been taken out since 1999. Just say no! Mayne, some of you be looking like you have a skunk/dead animal sitting on your hair. What's really hood with that foolishness?
Say no to packing all your trends into one outfit. Abortion belt + Footless tights +........ You get my drift shey?
Say no to borrowing your lil sister's outfit/going to the store and buying a size that is obviously not yours. Especially if you're a big girl.


*Disclaimer: The above post represents the view of the blog owner and not blogger. If any of you is guilty of one or more of the foolishness listed above, please vex not. Rather, I hope that you can do better in the '08.

Hehehehehehehehehe. No kill me sha!

Oh yeah, and feel free to add more.


Afrobabe said...

First first first first

Afrobabe said...

I am with u on the sun shades...I saw a woman almost stumble down the escalator cos she was wearing sunshades...Wish she fell...

the under sized cloths...ermmm, I am guilty of buying a size smaller, hoping I will come a size down soonest...but not turn and stare tight oh...

Kai, and the to match thing is just crazy...funny enough it seems to be a naija girls trait...

soupasexy said...

this girl na wa for u sef, i'm not saying am guilty of any of the above..but u harsh small....lol

lol @ afro's story..geez i wish she fell too..stupid ass wey dey wear sunshade for night, now that's annoying.

Anonymous said...


I like popped collars and I do it myself.
I do agree with the sunglasses thing though, I don't know why even celebrities do it, are they afraid of the way they really look? **If anyone has seen D'banj's face without the shades and have a pic, pls post it cos I'm curious.

and the matching, I think a lot of Nigerian women are guilty of that.

flawsandall said...

hehehe u aint never lied

dat 1 okrika babe said...

Your list is on point sha, I tire for naija guys and their yeye fashion sense. One thing that i would add is the big belt buckles, all these dudes are wearing them now, some have no business with a big belt buckle over their beer gut. One dude i saw had a buckle that said PLAYA, i was just asking my self why.

bArOquE said...

ok oh, i hear you...as per the popping collars, esp on the small short sleeve tees...leave am...its so in fashion...however, no such tight faggot ass looking jeans or muscle tops on beers guts...OMATA feeling funky...

...what about wearing the bones indoors, sun's blazing outside & i'm running in & out making sure the weddings going on well...no time to bw switching to the recommended ones...???

bArOquE said...

now talking about RAZZ; the new cool...D'Banj is so razz that he's so COOOOL...even if on my flight, he had his shades on,all night & even on the immigration line too...anyway, i love the guy &the M.H.A.S...btw, in one of his old videos when they were in a pool he didnt have his glasses on...cant remember the song...go look for it

Jay said...

LMAO.....funny stuff

Shades in the dark...not cool
Abortion belts with all outfits-not cool. The one's that gets me the most are the drawn eyebrows (freakishly weird esp when they are drawn to your ears lol!) and the skinny jeans on men...no no no


ablackjamesbond said...

In other words, all Mgbekes and Mgbafos should stop feeling funky.

Ms.O said...

LOL @ black James bonds comment..hahaahahahahahahahahahaha...am soo scik of the sunshades at nite ish!!!....nd the "abortion belts" with erry outfit..is sooo last yr..move on ppl!!!

Flourishing Florida said...

ROTFLMAO (i got it dis time around, innit?) ok ok. which ones am i guilty of? lolololololol. None!!!!!! Am cool like dat! well sha, wen i was younger i may have be got in all account, minus ashawo-like dressing .... hmm, or maybe dat too. hehehehehehehehehehe. Damn, i've come a lot way o

Nigerian Drama Queen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nigerian Drama Queen said...

Amen! Amen!! Amen!!!
The sunglasses at night or in a club is just a no-no in my books!I mean, theres a reason they are called SUNglasses right? The one that makes me laugh is people that must wear abortion belt by force. There was this chick at my school with the biggest stomach you've ever seen. A 9 month pregant woman aint got jack on her. But nooooooo babes must war abortion belt all the time. I use to feel so embarassed for her! Infact, i should find a subtle way to direct her to your blog,lol.

But I wont lie, i find the popped collars thing sexy as hell. Even if it is soooo summer of 2006:-)

May 16, 2008 3:37 AM

Nice Anon said...

Omg! So funny! Let me add mine

1)Say no to wearing makeup that doesnt match your skin tone... Looking like willy willy is a no no

2)Wearing highwaisted jeans/skirts when you obviously have a gut. That shit aint cute at all

3)Say hell naw to wearing eye shadow that matches your outfit even though they don't look that gud on you.some end up looking like masquerade... def not a good look at all.

4) Guys you know that shoe they call "four face" you guys have over done it imo. A guy will wear a shoe with the tip pointed from amsterdam to jericho! Haba!

bArOquE said...

nice anon, pls oh, help me & beg awon boys, wich kind shoe dem dey wear biko nu...someone tell them 'stunners' is so fucking dark in here...oya oh...update

Bubblegum Thug said...

u just had me doubled over in laughter. lol.
I love ur blog.lol.

NaijaScorpio said...

LOL..... Oh, the sun glasses thing gets me. D'banj is guilty as heck but i still love him though!

Flourishing Florida said...

lmao @ nice anon's list. WORD!

LG said...

my sistah, u don talk am finish jare!

how body?

simplegal said...

Too funny...lmao...I must confess sha...I used to be guilty of the matching syndrome; thankfully some ppl helped me see the error of my ways :)
I completely agree with the no sunshades at nite! That just doesn't make sense at all.
Amen @ anon! It's like you just read my mind...I live with a bunch of Gambian women who are fond of commiting the worst makeup sins; they end up looking like Nnukwu mmanwu...scary sight to behold!

One thing I have to add...
Please ladies, no wearing of weaves and wigs that do not suit you; in particular I am addressing those who think that afros are for everyone and end up looking like Ojuju Calabar...Biko stop scaring the rest of us...It is not cute!

Anonymous said...

lmao this babe u too funny.. i completely agree with EVERY single one of ur rules oh.. as in ive been seeing that shit... i swear i saw a so called fashionista in these parts... wearing a bellytop and abortion belt.. like WTF?!?! and ppl were facebook commending her oh that shes always on point. im like damn..u really dont have to say anything if you dont want to be mean about it cos ur just setting this girl up for failure... i mean after reading these comments.. she'll probably go buy the belts in every colour they come in and the same belly tops... yepa.. lo... how u been my darling.. ive blog missed u oh.. but no wahala sha i don return... so we go dey summer yarn ehn... keep the funny up my darling... HATe matchy matchy with a passion.. ive been mismatching before it became cool.. i swear ... the mismatch when i dey yarn has to do with solid colours oh.. none of that polka dot shirt with striped cardigan and criss cross shorts and plaid shoes... i no be carrie bradshaw.. and i have no aspiration to be.. as in!!!

Anonymous said...

and yeah.. girls need to take care of their weaves man... hate seeing stale stale weaves.. as in ppl are breathing the same air as u man.lol about the shades.. i wear glasses a lot oh... just not at night.. that shit is tired and wack and bush as hell..

Anonymous said...

Loving this blog thus FAR!! Just say no!!They need a ban in clubs, no sunglasses at any point in time, until you leave the club!!

Favor is my name said...

I am totally for the outage(i am not sure if that a word) of those darn velvet jackits...rubbish!!

But lemme add this new craze to the list

Please can we BAN all this rockstar foolishness...NEON colored everything,,,skulls stupid overdone designs on the head....Come on na people.