Guidelines for a fun-filled Reunion

Whaddup folks? What's crackalackin'? How did you spend your July 4th weekend?

Well, I spent some of it engaging in the reunion activities since it just happened to be in my hood. Now I must have you all know that I am no stranger to reunions and what they entail.
I remember my excitement at going for my first ever reunion, at meeting folks and observing all the foolishness that everybody claims will take place. But if you've been to more than one reunion like me, you'll come to find that it's really the same ol' thing. What makes a reunion is the people who are there, don't depend on the actual events that are organized by whoever is hosting that reunion (since we now have many perpetrators) because you'll come to realize that half of the time, ish is not organized.

But as I was saying, I went to ze reunion and I got a chance to observe some folk and this inspired me to create my list of guidelines to a fun-filled, poser free reunion for all reunion JJC's who plan to attend one next year.

1. If you're going to participate in all the events, I'd advise you to buy your ticket in advance cos them bishes is greedy! Imagine cover charges for the parties increasing from $20 to $60. Say who die? Abi George Bush don start to dey climb Okada.

2. Remember that it's just the reunion. It's just a 3 day event mainly filled with a whole bunch of hot, sweaty individuals. You don't need to take out a second mortgage for posing and effizy purposes. My dudes, I should be telling y'all this. Carrying your financial aid refund check that you are supposed to be using for books/wiping out your entire savings account just for effizy purposes is not the business. The sad thing is that in the end, you probably won't even get NONE. I'm just saying...

3. My Ladies, My Ladies. I had a blog entry about fashion no-no's. Look for it, read it, and learn in. Don't be disgracing me up in there.

4. My people! The good book advices us to do unto others as we'd like them to do unto us. Please do me one good deed and buy some damn deodorant. Haba! e remain small I for hala George Bush say I don discover the WMD's o. Kai!!!

5. My ladies again, a picnic should be a nice, chill, laid back environment where people mix and mingle. What's with wearing them high ass 5" heels and club baffs at the picnic? *confused look*
I swear to y'all, Chicago '04, I saw some chick wearing knee high boots at the picnic. I was quite and very weak.

6. My Dudes! What's up with that fake phonetics mixed with Yoruba accent that y'all be doing? Una don dey watch too much BET ni? Abeg stop am o! No be the same Naija reunion wey we dey, abi una wan prove who be the JJC and who don tanda for this Yankee for longer ehn? Ok o!

7. Oh and my Dudes again...go back and read the post on fashion No-No's. Y'all on some steez sha. Now everybody and their father wan rock mohawk. I no fit shout!

8. One more time for my dudes. I am waiting for the day I will go to an event/reunion and someone won't start a fight. See the foolish things you guys be fighting over sef, i sure say e no pass woman. I remember Philly reunion when dem start fight, na so dem come put Ndi Naija on top of the local news o. *smh*...
E get one party wey we go one time, bobos dey fight so me I come ask one dude standing beside me and his exact words were--> 'Don't mind them, they are fighing on pussy' so my dudes I beg una..please stop fighting on Puzi!

9. As we all know, the reunion is a kpanshing and chooking zone. Ok make it do what it do then, just remember to keep it wrapped up and play it safe. Ladies abeg no kpanshing under the influence biko. And if una wan kpansh, inspect the dude well. Is he rolling with a Posse? Try to stay away from dudes in Posses before you go enter picnic the next day, awon boys go just dey look you because they don hear ya gist.

10. Be yourself! That goes a long way...go with an open mind to have a good time and don't try to put on any airs to impress people. Nobody cares anyway, you're just one out of the million people that show up. Someone's effizy must ultimately pass ya own. Have fun!!!

Signed,
The 'retired' reunion goer. (I don dey old o :D )