The IBTC

Yup, that’s right. I said…the IBTC. Don’t give me that blank stare, you no sabi wetin IBTC means? Ooooh you don't. Oya let me edumacate somebody up in this piece.
IBTC = Itty Bitty Titty Committee. Now don’t say I never taught you anything.

This post is inspired by a recent post by IphyIgboGal on boobage. She recently blogged about having big boobs and so I was like voila! I can blog about having some ittay bittay tittays. Cue the Beyonce now… All my single IBTC ladies, now put your hands up!

For purposes of this post…IBT’s = Ittay Bittay Tittays.

My friend says that I’m one of those weird people who don’t seem to have any body part complexes and I think that she’s right. I can’t think of anything on my being that I would love to change or wish I didn’t have, these IBT’s included. That wasn’t always the case though…growing up, when every girl was approaching puberty and coming into themselves, and wearing bras was the new and hot thing…I certainly had my fair share of ‘why me’ moments.
‘Why haven’t my boobs grown?’
‘When will they grow?’
‘Will they ever be as big as the rest of the worlds?’
I hated having small boobs and I had quite a complex about 'em. I would play around and stuff my bra with tissue dreaming of the day when I would finally fill out my shirts and tops like everybody else and as you know having boobs has always been hot with the men and so I felt like my lack of boobage seriously diminished my attractiveness factor.
I used to feel somewhat self conscious in swimsuits ‘cos that one na the real kobalizer…lmao, if you were rocking a padded bra which might have fooled somebody, the instant you break out the swim suit, ain’t not much fooling that you could fool anybody o jare. Oh, and remember how there was this myth about how if you go to sleep with your bra on, it would restrict the growth of your boobies? So best believe I made it a point to NEVER sleep with my bra on. Hmmph, some good it did me.

And till today, I have no freakin’ idea where I got these IBT’s from oo. All the women in my immediate family have some nice, decent sized boobage…even my mama sef dey wonder as she sometimes assesses my chest and says ‘Hmmph, I don’t know where you got these small breasts from, it must be from your father’s side of the family’. Eh heh, blame it on the other relatives. Lmao!

But aniwoos…
I got older and I realized that in terms of attractiveness factor, I had other things working for me i.e a decent sized tush (although that one don dey take style to decrease o…chei), hot and sezzy legs, a winning smile, a charming personality, a cute face, nice shape etc etc. Hahahahaha, I mean dudes better recognize that they can’t have it all o! Shiooooo, I mean if na the boobs or bobby (for my PH and Warri folk) wey no too full ground, then abeg the man go dey accurate and learn to work with am and seriously, no man has ever complained till date. Is he mad, abi dem no born am well?
That aside, I actually started to see the benefits of being the president of the IBTC and perks dey o...for instance:
-Like my friend and fellow blogger Tori will say, ‘bras are nothing but a fashion accessory to me’. As in, e no be by force, it is an option. I actually went out last weekend bra less. Hehehehe.
- Everything fits well and we can get away with wearing tops that might otherwise look quite scandalous on a woman wey carry serious bobby.
-When we finally get around to popping those kiddies and get to breast feeding and such, our boobs will be nice and full as opposed to fighting hard to defy gravity. *snickers*
-Back pains? What the heck is that?
-Strapless, tube tops and all the whole 9 yards? Bring it on baby!

Need I say more? The perks and benefits dey oooo. So needless to say, I have totally shed the IBT complex and even embrace the boobage or lack of it.

So once again, all my IBTC ladies…now put your hands up! And my ladies with big bobby, put your hands up too…one love mai pipu.

LOL.

On match making + I’m not anti-Igbo men

I was just reading SoulBoutique’s blog, where she spoke on how she has a nice male friend whom she would love to hook up with a nice young lady but she can’t think of anyone outside of her circle of already taken close friends.
This is the complete opposite for moi. I know a bunch of beautiful, GOOD, accomplished women whom I would love to hook up with nice young men…the only problem is that I do not know any nice young men who aren’t already taken. Truth be told, I don’t have a bunch of male friends who I’m extra buddy buddy with. The 1 or 2 that I’m really tight with are taken and everyone else is on a ‘give a hug and chitchat with at social events’ basis, I can’t vouch for those ones ‘cos I know absolutely nada about their personalities.
Seriously though, the general consensus amongst the ladies is that finding a good and correct man is not a beans in this day and age. And so I think that the process of matching making people would kinda sorta speed things up. You can create an awareness of someone whom guy X might ordinarily see and say ‘nahhh, not my type’ or girl A would see and say ‘nahhh, he’s too short’. I mean, check am now…when you go to guy X who might normally prefer a ‘thick, fine chick whose body set well well’ and you say ‘Oh boy, I don find ya future wifey o’ and proceed to list all the wonderful things about her, his interest will probably be perked. Then of course, he will say ‘Oya log onto FB make I see pic’ which he might see and still not be completely sold, but with your conniving salesgirl ways you fit pass her digits on and tell him ‘it won’t hurt to try and worst case scenario, y’all will just be cool friends’…guy takes the digits, gives girl a holla that eve and it could either be:

a. A 5 hour phone convo into the wee hours of the morning that will leave them both yawning at work the next day but still looking forward to round 2
b. A briefer version of the convo but with interest still sparked
c. Nyeeehhh but thanks Mgbeks for your efforts.

Life aint a fairy tale but it still won’t hurt to try. *Sigh*…unfortunately, I can’t even test my excellent sales skills since I no sabi dudes. But ladies and gents, think about it sha. Take a mental inventory of your correct and available friends and think about who you can hook ‘em up with. Love makes the world go around and who knows, you just might be featured on someone’s wedding website as the commander in chief who made the union possible. :-D

Back to SoulBoutique sha…
Apparently, the man who she wants to hook up lives in MD and so I asked the next important Q: Is he Urhobo?
Lately I have declared this sudden love for Urhobo men. I know a couple of them, all very nice gentlemen...correct men + they can all COOK. Ah ah, their mamas raised them well o. I no sabi the kain Jazz but Urhobo men have officially bumped Yoruba men out of the running for my numero uno draft pick. Tunde's and Jide's...y'all better come back and work at reclaiming your spot. :-D
And the rest of you may now redirect all your Urhobo friends, brothers and cousins to this blog *waves and blows kisses*…thank you very much. Hahahahaha.
But no be just specifically Urhobo o, in general I just like Edo and Delta men. It's just a strange thing, I hear that the man is from those parts and he automatically scores some mental cool points. And recently, after hearing all the rave reviews about Calabar men, I have decided that I would like to *ahem* sample those goodies as well. Hahahaha, I crack myself up. :-D

On a more serious note sha, I’m very equal opportunity. In fact, so equal opportunity that some people seem to think that I have no love for the Igbo brothers and I wonder why ooo. Maybe it's because all my #1 draft pick tribe preferences have never been Igbo, 'cos other than that I no sabi what else I might have done/said to give off that impression. To my knowledge, I have never specifically said ‘If his name is Ikenna, then NEXT’.
I mean, I will admit that I have some of my issues and notions about the ways of Igbo men and…In fact let’s just scratch that, I was gonna say more but I don’t want to open up a can of worms and have people start to vex and call me a ‘self hating’ Igbo woman who can’t appreciate her own people so make we just leave tori for tortoise. But on the real, I am not anti- Igbo men…that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. :- )

See? 2 updates in less than X days…tomorrow now Nicey m will accuse me of abandoning her.

Edit:- Bia o, Controversy...why you kon restrict ya blog nau?

Random tidbits relating to me, myself and I.

On that topic of hair, I am taking another stab at attempting to grow my hair *crosses fingers*. I want big puffy hair that will make Deji D smile, LMAO. Recently decided to put some color in it again, this time I went for a more subtle look. I really don’t do much of subtle and this summer, the color was definitely quite eye catching or ‘bold’ as someone said and I did enjoy the attention (good and bad) but change is good. Change is always good.

Speaking of attention, I’ll be the first to confess that I enjoy attention. I am after all, a LEO (Shoutouts to my Leos). The type of attention that I like is quite contradictory sha. I don’t like the spotlight type of attention i.e doing a fashion show or anything that has to do with hopping on stage with all eyes on me, but at the same time if I walk into a room, I want everyone to know that ‘she has arrived’ which in turn could lead to all eyes being on moi. LMAO, does this make sense? Don’t get me wrong, I am far from the little chicken that you will see running up and down the place in the quest to be noticed, I don’t even need to do that ‘cos when I catwalk inside, you have no choice but to notice me. Bwahahahhaha, let me stop…

You may be surprised to know that I used to lack major self confidence at some point in my life. I tell people and they never believe me. That’s a story for another day sha…Other things that they don’t believe about me:
-I’m really not the socialite that they think I am.
-I can actually be quite shy when it comes to interacting with men that I really like. They don’t believe this because I can be very flirtatious in general but the way it works is I will flirt to death with a man whom I have no interest in, and act extra shy and reserved with the ones that I scope. I-S-S-U-E-S.

I enjoy having a bit of height…5’7 but I wish I was like 5’9. My heels make up for it sha… I can’t even try to imagine life from the 5’5 and under angle but hey, on the flip side…apparently men seem to like them some petite women. LOL

I was saying on RepressedOne’s blog that I envy people with talent. Most of my friends have some kind of talent, and the numero uno one who makes me jealous can: dance and actually teaches it, cook (she needs to start a catering business too), organize events, do hair, is the owner and CEO of the fabulous One3snapshot (Shameless plug: http://www.one3snapshot.com/) etc etc. I’m turning a brilliant shade of green as I type this. Why, why, why…dash me one na. Love you Naks! :-D
But seriously, people sabi do steez o. Well my talent is that I know people with talent. Hehehehehehe.

My passion? This one na another one. I have no bleeding idea what my passion is. Okay okay I do, I would shop and write for a living but I’m too lazy to be consistent with the latter so let’s stick to the former shall we? I would shop for a living. Can I be someone’s personal shopper? Pretty pwease.

I've always been a huge style watcher. I read mad style blogs, I enjoy seeing street style in magazines. I always wonder what it is about people that shapes their style in general. i.e Why are some people more conservative and some more daring? Does it have to do with their personalities? I be hella curious about this one sha. As for me, I think I will say that my style is constantly evolving and changing. Back in the day, I used to be very ‘matchy matchy’ as in shoe and bag must match. And then I suddenly started to sway towards the ‘hell no to matchy matchy’. At one point I was very into the ‘punk rock’ look as in bright red lip color, fishnet ankle stockings and mini-skirts, etc etc. In college days, I was always the ‘t-shirt, skinny jeans and heels’ to the club and in the words of one observer ‘you’re one of the people I know who can wear t-shirt and jeans to the club and make it look hot’. I’ve ranged from safe to not so safe, my style…like my hair color is a constant change. These days, I just buy whatever catches my fancy but apparently it doesn’t catch a lot of other people’s fancy even though they always issue the 'but you totally pull it off' disclaimer. My roomie constantly chuckles and says ‘it’s your thing’ when I show her some of my latest finds, my dear friend calls some of my dresses ‘Mary amaka’ and claims that if she ever sees anything in a store that she knows she would definitely not wear due to its off the wall nature, she would buy it for me and one other friend always claims that I’m on a whole ‘nother P with some of my outfits. LOL…it’s quite hilarious, I don’t even think that what I wear is that random but hey! I just do me o jare.

In my quest to enjoy my life and try to engage in things other than work and the random weekend social stuff, I am participating in the annual Walk for Autism in DC, Oct 31st. I’ve always wanted to do one of these walks/marathons (after being inspired by my God-sis) but I was too lazy but now I actually got off my lazy butt. Next up, me and my friend wanna do a 5k *breaks out in a sweat*.
I enjoy seeing people who just get up and do it as opposed to saying ‘I would like to do this’ (story of my life). My roomie is taking a jewelry class for the heck of it. She makes jewelry…sorry, no shameless plug here as she doesn’t have a site up but her earrings are bangin’ yo. I stay getting compliments everytime I wear them. My inspiring God-sis recently ran the Chicago marathon and my homie just did the MS bike ride in Nu yawk. People who pursue stuff that interest them definitely inspire me 'cos despite their busy schedules, they actually hop off their butts and make out time for these other things. Roomie actually showed me the catalogue for the school where she is taking her jewelry class and some of what they are offering looks quite interesante, no definites yet sha o. It's nice to see and take note of, but make we start sofri sofri...as it is, I feel like my schedule is somewhat overwhelming but hey, something will eventually give abi? :-)

Did I mention that mi madre is coming into town this weekend? I am certainly looking forward to stocking up on some dry fish and okporoko. You know how they say that you only appreciate certain things as you get older? I remember when she used to bring that stuff for me years ago and I was like 'big deal', now that I am older and wiser, I appreciate the heck out of it and the effort that she puts into carefully wrapping these goodies up as they make their journey across the Atlantic. Every time I go to the African store and see the prices charged for these goods, I always offer a silent prayer up that I have a constant supply of it from Naija. I sabi open African store sef with the amount of maggi that I currently own. Recession dey o! Thank you mama...*muah muah*

And on a final note, what y'all getting into this weekend? I am having dinner tonight with peeps, and attending a baby shower with fam + 2 birthday events tomorrow (so much for trying to convince anyone that I am not a socialite). In between all of that, I will attempt to sneak in some episodes of Oz and cook for mi madre.
Let me sign off. I hope that you'se lot have a fantabulous weekend. For my East Coast people, this weather is not the business. DC/MD, how y'all like the rainy weather?
TX folk, any of you have any fine brothers/cousins? I'm officially sick of this weather and looking to move to some warmer parts...all I need is the man who will ship me + my entire walk-in closet out to his city. Hahahahaha.

Peace & Love.

Random thoughts about Hair...

In the light of Chris Rock's 'Good Hair' documentary (which I intend to see), and all the one million hair stories popping up here and there, I was inspired to give my own take on things.

On Nigerian women and weaves
My African American roomie and I were having one of our many random discussions, and this time it was about hair. She told me how she's observed that a bunch of Nigerian women seem to wear weaves and pointed how she had never seen some of my friends' real hair. It wasn't a mean spirited comment or anything, more like an observation. PS:- She has the right to talk, in my quest to 'Nigerianize' her, I've dragged her to a bunch of events that involved Nigerians and so I guess she was on her people watching game.
Aniwoos, after she said that...I did make it a point to kinda be on the look out (through observations at events/Facebook albums of events) to see if I could see what she was talking about and I do have to admit that yes, it seems that a whole bunch of Nigerian/African woman in general tend to wear more weaves than their own hair. Interesting observation...

On Natural Hair vs. Permed hair and Weaves
It seems that lately, the topic of natural hair vs. Permed hair and weaves has been coming up. I was actually surprised to discover that apparently a whole bunch of men claim to dislike weaves. It sure did come as breaking news to me sha o, since all the women that these men chase seem to rock their cascading curls of weaves very well and with no shame. Sometimes I think that these men love to contradict themselves...the same men who go on and on about women and fake hair are the same men who will drool over the Beyonce type of females. Get it together guys...(but that's beside the point, lol).
Some men even went as far as to criticize women who perm their hair accusing them of subscribing to the 'white man's standard of beauty' and what have you. I can't even pin it all on the men sha o, even as I know that some of my fellow natural haired sisters are on that Afrocentric tip and do look down on women who subscribe to this so-called standard of beauty.
As for me, I spontaneously made the decision to do the 'big chop' and wear my hair natural in 2002 abi 2003 after I was inspired by two of my natural haired friends, and I haven't looked back since. To be honest, my decision to go natural wasn't based off some black power/Afrocentric tip, it was more about trying something new and somewhat different.
Whenever I hear men criticize women who wear weaves, I am always quick to inform that them contrary to what they think, weaves might actually be easier to maintain than natural hair...they keyword here being 'might'. I mean (and correct me if I'm wrong), with the weaves, you pretty much run a brush through it and maybe a curling iron if you're in the mood, and then wake up and go abi? I know that for me, who once had something like a mini afro, maintaining it was a real headache and so I decided to chop it all off. Short, nappy hair is definitely and without a doubt the most low maintenance and least expensive way to go (if you're feeling bold). I literally wake up, run a comb through it and go...with the random cuts that occur every other month.
Before Sugabelly comes and shoots me, this is not an effort to dissuade anyone who wants to go the natural hair route. I do believe that if you choose to put in the time and effort to maintaining any type of hairstyle then you can do it, and if you're just a lazy bum like me who can't be bothered most of the time, you might wanna go the short hair route. When I had long permed hair, I never did anything to it either save for wear it in a boring old pony tail every day.

On short hair
I must admit that after seeing all the noise that people made about Solange's recent hair cut and how empowered she is and blahblah, I actually rolled my eyes. Why? In my opinion, it's just hair...long or short and so I don't see the big deal in a hair cut. True talk.
Maybe I am of this opinion, because I currently wear my hair cut as low as Solange's as well but truth be told I didn't think too hard about doing that initial big chop. As in, I didn't stop to think if 'it would fit my face' or 'if it would look good on me' and what have you. I just did it and thank you Jesus, it worked for me. Today I guess you can say that I am addicted to cutting my hair. Every time I see someone with a big 'fro, I get all jealous and resolve to grow my own hair so that I can make other people jealous but the instance I walk past a Hair cuttery, just know that it's a wrap. My mentality is 'it's just hair, it will grow back someday'.
Don't get me wrong, I know that not everyone can just wake up and decide to cut off their crowning glory and be 'naked' to the world, as someone put it... and that true talk, long hair in general seems to be more feminine but should a hair cut really create so much buzz? Or did the hair cut inspire that much buzz because seeing women with short hair isn't that common?...especially among the Celebrities?
Even for me as a regular around the way gal, I always get the 'wow, you are so brave for cutting your hair' type of comments and mentally I wonder what is really so brave about that, after all shebi it's nothing but a hair style? Or maybe it's considered to be a 'brave feat' when you factor in your attractiveness factor to the opposite sex. After all, I can best my last dollar that most men might prefer a woman with long hair but ultimately shey it all boils down to how I choose to carry myself abi? Long hair or short hair, I'm still a fab chick and can't no one tell me otherwise.

Sometimes, you are your hair
I was reading an article on Jaguda.com, where the author claimed to feel naked and not so fierce without her weave. See, I have always believed that 'we are not our hair' and so whatever you choose to rock, be it permed hair, natural hair, long hair, short hair, weaves or braids, it is considered to be your form of self expression HOWEVER on the flip side, if a woman feels incomplete without those beautiful waves of hair then in my opinion, you = your hair and your hair obviously defines you. Before you shoot the messenger, the author even said it herself and I quote:

"Then I remembered India Arie’s old hit “I am not my hair”. The case is not so for us “weavaholics”. I realized that from January, till date I’ve rocked my real hair for less than 2 weeks and I hated it and felt like I was empty, while with my 2 pack of 16 inch indian hair I felt sexier and ready. I literally became Sasha fierce, sexy and all. I also went through my facebook friend list and noticed that about 98 % of my female friends had weaves or wigs or braids on their profile picture. I still haven't seen some of my aunties' real hair because all they put on are wigs or weaves. With that being said, I came to the following conclusion...weaves are addictive and they have become my addiction or should I say “our addiction”.
Source: Jaguda.com

Very interesting stuff. And on that note, let me peace out of here.

I go catch una later...

On the Nigerian Independence Day Activities...

I spent 24 hours in the NJ/NYC area. Literally. Hopped on a 'red eye' bus at 6am, got there at 9am and managed to squeeze in a mini discovery of Ulta, Brunch in the city, a few naps caught here and there, a trip to the Apple store on 5th avenue (Freaking MADHOUSE), The Indy day parade and the craziness that was the after party before finally rolling into bed at 4am, and hopping on the next bus back to MD at 11am.
Sidenote:- I get energy o! I guess these bones aint that old. :-D
As we speak, I NEED to be sleeping but ask me why I am blogging and watching a Nigerian movie on OnlineNigeria.com. I do have Monday off, so best believe I will be making up for lost sleep.

Oooh guess who I met at the parade? Our one and only Nigerian Wendy Williams...Kemberly. I spied her from afar and proceeded to walk over and introduce myself. Best believe, she was very nice and warm in person, as she is on her blog and girl, my friend wanted to know the 411 on your fabulous hair. She told me that YinkusLoLo was in the building too...Yinks, I just might have walked past you o. Hehehehe...
Zena, what happened to you, you be no show? *side eye*

So, I am no stranger to the Nigerian Indy day activities that are held in NYC every year. In fact unlike the Nigerian Reunion, I believe that one can never get too old to hit up the Indy day parade. It's always fun to hang with your friends and eat some good ol' Suya while you give blank stares to all the foolywang looking individuals up in that piece, and lawdy lawd...the foolishness is always to the max. LMAO, as in no offense to my BK folk but ummm did the American Embassy specifically issue visas to all the extra razz people and assign them to Brooklyn, New York? My gawd! As in, you can just point out all those BK characters, it's quite funny. Every year, I always find some reason to crack up at someone's expense.
Abi you wan talk about the people that take the essence of rocking our country's colors to the next level? In one particular instance, a certain culprit was spotted wearing an oversized linen white suit, a white bowler looking hat, green and white chuck taylors and a green tee-shirt. It was quite heelar!
Foolishness aside, it honestly is a lot of fun to just hang with our people plus any chance to eat Suya is cool in my books. I'm saying...those Suya vendors must have made a killing charging $3/stick with that extra long ass line. I'm talking about a 30 minute wait time for 10 sticks of Suya. No be small thing...in fact next year, I dey buy table to sell my own suya, abi I fit roast plantain and corn for man pikin? Those vendors dey make moni o!

On to the freaking after parties. Yeah, as a seasoned Indy day pesin, I know enough to hit up the actual parade and stay away from the yeye after parties. Trust, I've been burned plenty times. The first time I ever went, they tried to squeeze 1 million people into a closet in Brooklyn and sho 'nuff the popos shut that ish down quicker than a speeding bullet. The 2nd year, something equally foolish happened and then I got the hang of things (add that to my other random experiences of partying in Brooklyn) and I decided to totally avoid any party that has a BK address and zipcode and stick to the Manhattan based after parties, which wasn't that much better. Still a ridiculous long line with some razz folk (not as razz as the BK parties, but still razz), over priced cover charge and some hella unnecessary hassle just to get your party on for a few hours.
So, this year I was really not fixing to go for any of the after parties...the 2 official ones were at C-PAC in BK and the Boulevard in Manhattan. (And then there were some misc wannabe after parties that I was told had like a total of 10 people in attendance...lmao). As in, I don fix mind say I go just stay in NJ and possibly hit up someone's ges togera but it turned out that someone that we knew was also having a birthday something at the Boulevard and wanted us to come through so we come pack our load and waka'd there.
Numero uno, as soon as we landed and saw that ridiculously long line, we almost walked back to the car but we con tok say okay, we don came up from Joisey, let's hang in there and chekirrout. As in, folks had been standing in line for ages just to get into the darn party. Luckily for us, we knew some people in power and so we were in real quickly, plus we didn't have to pay either... as in a big heck no to the $30 cover charge. Jay-Z dey thia? I mean, Wale the rapper was there but say who die?
As soon as I walked in, I was like 'is this what people are packing their selves outside for?'...the place take style resemble a freaking can of sardines. It was extra packed and it seemed that some people didn't get the memo about deodorant so my poor nose suffered for a bit until I safely made it over to the 'beche' side with the more correct looking people. :-p
Let me not bash too much sha, I mean it wasn't that terrible but still, if I had paid $30 to enter I for vex sha. Like, folk couldn't even dance without being bumped and abeg if I am paying $30 to party then I had better enjoy my $30's worth and get my party on.
Then again, I've realized that a lot of parties in this day and age appear to be for the 'stylers and profilers', as in those 'I didn't come to this party to dance, I came to walk up and down 10 times to see and be seen' kinda deal but that is another post for another day.
Long story short, we bounced after 1 hour and I have decided that for real, for real...that will be the LAST micki frickin' after party that I will be going for. I don't care if my BFF dey do birthday for there. I could have used the time spent going back and forth to the NYC to just jejely happily curl up and catchup on those Zzzzzs for real but it is what it is.

Oh and before I go, can I just send a quick PSA to my ladies:- PUT SOME DARN CLOTHES ON, LADIES. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR ASS AND YOUR TITTIES. Absolutely killing me with the 'I must be sexy by force' outfits that y'all be putting together. E remain small and I will see a nipple all in the name of looking hot and sexy. But you know what? I no too get the energy right now, I will bring this to y'all in a proper post. :-D

P.S- Nicey m my love. Dem born me well to abandon you for this blogger? Lai lai. I have found my blog mojo...welcome me back.
Thanks to all who checked up on me, I really do 'preciate it. I am bizackkk. Gosh, I don't wanna think about the catch up that I will have to do...eventually.

Alriight, tori don finish. Good night honeys.