Monday, December 13, 2010

The Artistic Hater

My name is Original Mgbeke, and I am a hater. Yup, I said it...I am a hater. I proudly hate on people and have absolutely no shame in my game. Now, let's not get it twisted...I'm not one of those catty ass anonymous haters that you will find on websites such as *ahem*...Linda Ikeji and co. Characters masquerading beneath anonymous masks and making all kinds of spiteful, evil comments about people. I strongly believe in the demarcation between criticism and crossing the line into spiteful, personal insults. For instance, if BellaNaija happened to put up a post on BankyW (one of the objects of my haterism), I wouldn't run up in the comment box talking about how he's such a trifling ho sleeping around the streets of Lagos (I just dey make scenario o, abeg no be from my mouth wey una hear say Fanta dey orange). Like how would his fictional trifling ho activities relate to the post at hand...? You get my drift...
So pretty much, I will proudly tell you that I'm a hater, but at the same time I will tell you that I'm an artistic hater. Ya know, I hate in such a way that you don't know that I'm hating :-D...don't side eye me, we all got some artistic hater in us.

Aniwoos, in no particular is a list of random people, groups and things that I love to hate on:

1. Lagos folks: As y'all must know and have probably heard a million times, I'm a Porracourt babe true and true. Born and raised, and lived there for darn near all my life ('cept for some random relocations here and there). In general, PH people are known for being pretty down to earth, having no airs and what have you. Regardless of who your father is, everyone can mix and mingle without feeling like snobs/snubbed. Case in point, #nonamedroppingoranything, but back in PH me and my girls used to roll with the Rivers State Governor's daughter. Granted we met her when her pops was running for elections but still...pre, during and post election, nothing changed and she continued to mix and mingle with us lowly peasants. She also continued to mix and mingle with her high school folks from all backgrounds, and definitely stayed pretty down to earth (still is, actually). That's just an example of how PH folks roll. Sooooo based on that, I just can't get with how materialistic, superficial and shallow most Lagosians appear to be. Granted, all my Naija trips have been PH based and I haven't jammed Lagos in a minute but according to many (1st hand?) reports, Lagos folks are about 'who your father is', 'who you know', 'what circles you roll in' etc etc...which instantly gets the haterism from me 'cos I just can't do shallow fakeness. Oh and I've heard about how everyone and their mama has a British accent, and those darn air kisses sooo errr...Lagosians, by default I love to hate on y'all. Can't wait to land Naija one of these days and give all y'all the side eye...
*Not applicable to all Lagosians. If the shoe fits and things.

2. Queens College aka QC girls: Another of my favorite groups of people that I love to hate on. For a bunch of girls who attended a Federal Government Girls College, QC girls sure be acting like they are on that Vivian Fowler (which I actually hate on part time...matter of fact, I hate on all private schools) level. It's like we no dey hear word again o...every small thing is 'I'm a QC babe' or 'that's how we QC babes roll'. Abegi, y'all ain't that special o jare. One of my best friends is your typical QC babe, and I think that one of the very first things I said to her when we met was 'Oh, so you're one of those annoying QC girls'. Hahahaha, I wonder how we moved beyond that point... *chuckles*. That aside, a couple of my friends are QC girls but that still doesn't stop me from hating on the lot....*snicker*

3. Banky W: I love me some Mr. W's music, but I can't say that I'm a huge fan of the man, himself. I can't give you a specific reason why I love to hate on Banky W. I think it might have stemmed from a reunion back in the day, when he still lived in Yanks and was an up and coming artist. A friend of mine was trying to make friendly talk, nothing groupie-ish, and he just came across as feeling himself a lil too much. I definitely remember standing in the corner and eye-ing him up and down like 'hmmph, what is this one feeling like?'...and since then I've enjoyed hating on the man. However, one other thing that I love to hate on, other than Banky W himself is that perfectly lined beard of his. The thing drives me nuts...
I've vowed that one day I will get him drunk and knocked out, like that mean female did to Wande Coal, but as opposed to stripping Banky nekkid and broadcasting his nude pictures on Twitter, I will simply shave that beard off. Every single hair of it...

4. Pretty Girls: It's kinda sorta common knowledge that I love to hate on pretty girls. Now, when I say pretty girls, I mean those saccharine sweet types of pretty girls like Halle Berry, and not the 'I got spunk and seem like fun' types of pretty girls like Nia Long. Big difference. I'm definitely a hater of the okay, you're pretty and then ?? What else is there to you? Do you have an interesting persona or are you just pretty for nothing? One day, I was so jobless that I actually conducted some kind of poll and determined that all the saccharine sweet kinda pretty girls truly seem to lack personality and the fun factor. What makes it even worse is that men drooooool over these types of girls because 'OMG, they are so pretty' and 'they are dimepieces'. So of course, I have to hate because unpretty girls like me who work hard to look good, also have the added burden of trying to have some sort of personality so that men will find us remotely attractive, while such dry pretty girls get all the men. Hmmph! I definitely have a valid reason to hate.

5. Men: It's no secret, I love to hate on the male species. In my opinion, most of these cats are just out to disturb the peace in women's lives and make a run for it. Plus, I feel like as the days pass, I hear more ridiculous stories that make me want to make drive through someone's son's house and bust his windows or slash his tires. Like seriously. I feel that the world would be a much simpler place if men dropped the bullshit act and kept it 100 with the females. Which one is two timing two women for 4 years, proposing to one, and totally hitting the other (unsuspecting) woman with an upset. Abi which is one is toasting a woman for months and then she finally agrees to show you face and everything is going well, then you suddenly go MIA. Y'all really on some bullshit. Reason #1234567 why yours truly is quite happy being single (apart from the fact that I don't fall into the pretty girl category..heeheee). Aniwoos, I won't waste too much breath on your menfolk, but just know that I definitely love love love to hate on y'all (in an understated and artistic way of course ;) ).

That's all that comes to mind for I'm tired. So, there you have top 5 favorite list of things that I love to hate on. So it's like out there, ain't no shame in my game...Heehee.

With all that said,
Peace, Love and Goodnight


Anonymous said...

LMAOOOOOO! I have died. You are so silly. I totally get the way you used the word "hate", now watch some anonymous come preach to you about healing the inner hate in you when you don't actually mean evil hatred more like irrational irritation. I have said mine on my blog before, mine is couples in super duper love. I think i literally roll my eyes at couples I see when I am out who are climbing each other in public lol.

ps keep hating on private scool people you hear?


mizchif said...

Is it funny how i'm 2nd to comment when i'm supposed to be buried under my books ehn?

Since i fall into 2 categories of your hateration i gats comment.
Plix, stop being a harrer!
It is not awa fault that you grew up in dat razz someplace ehn?
Plix allow us posh people to be ahn ahn! Warrisit! lol.

But i like how you pointed out the artistic hating bit. It's just unnecessary when people hate for hating sake, bringing up things that are not related to the matter in kweshun!

Tayne na wa o, why are you burnt at the loved up couples?

bArOquE said...

LOL@TayneAnon,wither lovers CLIMBING each other nah...LOOOOOL

&as for you Mgbekz, you no well at you go just dey hate like this? although, i share the one with BankyW too, na tht him biabia dey annoy me,plus his bleached colour....the broda needs some sun abeg

Shun Lagos peeps jare, i Rep PHCity baby

nice one

LG said...

u go wound o!

Rayo said...

even tho i'm a Lagos girl, and a Q.C girl, and a Fine girl :D i don't think i'm the type you talked about here so keep hating on them o.

me i dunno why i don't like Banky W either, but all i know is i really really don't like him!

Omosi Thisgirl said...

Slow Clap

Welcome back and I definitley agree with you on 1,2,3. Too many of my friends are QC chicks and they are almost as bad as KC boys with their silly 'floreat', all over the damn place.

Third World Profashional said...

Baby mi, as a Lagos girl, a VF & QC girl (did JSS1 & 2 in VF, finished in QC) and a pretty girl (yeah I said it), you must hate me, you must really really hate me *in Sally Fields voice*.

Lol, I get what you mean though, we QC girls can be a bit much and don't even let me get started on my kinfolk the Lagos people, we are special in this Nigeria, fake accents et al.

On this Banky p, baby no be only you. I LOVE his music but I can't stand him, I don't know why and I can't even rationalize it to myself

But I love men though. They're such silly, immature, unsophisticated creatures. Like playthings, comprende? LMAO.

*Biko k'am kwusi i su eri, tupu mmadu a kpali m ebe a*



Nutty J. said...

eh en I been think say na only me no understand why lagos people dey form unneccessarily

I end every leave looking forward to the next leave...cant always wait to get the hell out of the town and just breath the air of normal humans in warri....mscheeeeeew

Tatababe said...

LMBOOOO!! You are hilarious woman..I totally understand your Lagosian hating even though I'm a Lagosian myself but yeah some folks are shallow headed like that..

leggy said...

i've never understood the QC think too, i dont hate on them sha, its good that they are proud of their school but i'm always like...for crying out loud you went to a federal government college.whats the big deal in that?
i remember going to their school once and their dorms are such messes...i was like please, its okay to have ego but what exactly are you using to back it up?

Ms.O said...

You are NOT a serious human being!! Poor BankyW...:( I don't think I fall into any of these categories hate is the same as Taynements....hehe!

Unknown said...

I could just hug you on account of hating on Banky! Like, so there's a like minded person in the house huh?
Lol @ getting him drunk and shaving all the hair.. You get time sha..
As per these Lagosians,although I am one,they can be truly annoying and irritating to hear them show themselves..
As per the accent and all, lol.. sometimes we all do it just to show levels, which is really razz, I know.
Lol.. Piri us naaaa.
As per hating on pretty Saccharine smiling chics with no surface, Yours is better, I hate on every chic until you show me you got spunk and something in that pretty lil space upstairs...
I love your post biko..
Except say, I no too like pitagwa/poracourt people..
I see them as fake too o..
I so swear!

Nice Anon said...

Lmao! We love to hate em. U are crazy! You know you and I love to hate the same type of folks. As a bush Owerri girl I don't even hundastand how a federal school is such a big deal. * takes the haterade juice and gulps down*

Watch folks misunderstand this post.

Enoch said...

Hi Hater *waves*

Harry said...

lol...I live in Lag and I hate on Lag folks full of themselves

Prism of an Immigrant said...

This post is funny.

But you right about QC girls though. It is weird that they carry their airs reach yankee. The QC girls I know still be feeling like they all that, and it makes me go...Wot da heck, like for real!!! Maybe I'm just hating coz I tried to enter QC, but I was denied admission and I ended up at one of them Federal government schools ^_^

doll (retired blogger) said...

LMAO @ shaving banky;s beards..

yea, i am a QC hater too

Tega said...

I swear Doll stole my comment and I don't even remember letting her in my head...

I hate on QC gals like yeah...!!!

As per the holding down BankyW and shaving it all off...god please let me be a fly on the wall for that one

Lagos folks?...with you on that one...even though I disagree wit you on that PH level...oh boy...I know so many level claimants for that zone o...def not a quarter as bad as Lag sha...

Men...a necessary evil o...nuff sed...especially as we women can be worse off to ourselves

Love the post :D

NaijaScorpio said...

I love Banky W. What's wrong with you pple? :)

LAYDEE said...

lol I didn't go 2 QC though, 2 of my cousins went... I don't know about them sha, but vf girls 4 sure.

bankyw- woman is u serious? on the
other hand I haven't met him in person,till I'm proven otherwise that's my lover. :)

men- don't even get me started,, for me I think I hate on "boys" not men, waiting on them to decide to grow upis frustrating.. you are one funny somebody love your blog.

Wifey said...

LNGKMD!!! okwa soso artistic hater!

While i love me some Banky, i will assit by applying the shaving cream and taking the pictures while you shave that

*Hey wifey'm ;)

originalQCOG said...

mgbeks, u can hug transformer (seems like thats the reigning thing to say) about QC girls oh!
Na God make our school no follow "pro unitate" lol


nne m, although there really was nothing special, i loved going there!

ditto on banky and our briticolagosians (although i like to see their pictures)

ps: i know this post was inspired by the naeto and nicole c post on linda! lmao

neuyogi said...

I can't believe you tried to make QC girls seem inferior to Vivian Fowler girls, when we are clearly least back in my day we were :)

neuyogi said...

Forgot to mention that Banky rubs me the wrong way too for no rational reason either. If I could get him wasted, I'd take off his hat! lol.

Shadenonconform said...


I have 2 cousins and friends who went to QC but they're so sweet. The same with a friend of mine who went to VF and is the quintessential "preety girl with spunk". She is so humble and nice. Yet i can't deny that i haven't run into QC girls and VF girls who have unnecessary airs about themselves. But I guess people will say the same or hate on A-Hall/Avicenna/Grange, etc kids. They can never win. Oh well. Lol.

Hating on some Lagos folks is so understandable. Some of them bring the haterade on themselves.

Aww, poor pretty girls. Lol.

No comment on hating on Men. ThirdWorldProfashional's description of men is so not fair. haha.

And with Banky, i feel like based on people's comments on B-Naija and the likes, they would stop hating on him if he takes off his hat and changes his style of dressing. Eya, poor banky:)

This post is jut too funny OM.

Lol @ "I just dey make scenario o, abeg no be from my mouth wey una hear say Fanta dey orange." That killed me.

Anonymous said... are just ridiculously insane. maaaaaaaad girl!

hahaaa...artistic it!

Rebirth said...

hahahahahahhahaha.......u are a clown......i used to hate on lagosians too...(i grew up in IB) till i relocated and realised that maybe, im one of them

ehn me i secretly hate u sha, cuz u can like to send more shoes my way....kai the compliments i've been getting on those ones ehn...

oh yea feel free to keep hating on me, cant help that i'm very pretty...take it to the Lord in prayer

Deep Soul said...

I totally dislike that Banky W!! That his bia bia is just infuriating, it looks like something that was drawn with a marker and to make matters worse, the boy just likes to feeeel too much!

As per Lagos people, dont mind dem, fake people! I was born, bread and (aje)buttered in PH too so I understand your hate! We're just more real on that side of the globe, even tho we also sha have our own QC wannabes (Abuloma Girls!)

I cant hate on pretty girls. Who hates themself anyway? :-D

Things I'm hating on right now would be the Blackberry and/or the users! I just don't get the craze!

iphyigbogurl said...

ph cittttyyyyyy!!!!! brap brap brap!!!

i like to rep my city sha..i kent even lie!!

i'm an off and on lagosian hater sha....them too do abeg...

as for qc...the babes i know from qc are kinda nice and cool and what not...except one..but i didn't really like her even before sh entered no be qc cause am..

loved this post.
biko be bloggin frequently... i miss ur posts..


LusciousRon said...

Mgbeks you are a riot! I am Lagos girl, I love Banky W and I love pretty girls, there is just something about their porous brains that makes me feel superior, so you can hate away artistically of course! :D

QC girls and Men, I am indifferent.

Deez said...

I can relate. I used to live in Lagos and dem de form like Transformers (corny I know). QC babes and Life Forte folks are way tew mush for themselves.
Walahi I thought I was the only one that was bothered by Banky's edge up. If you ever get that chance please wax it. Tanks.

Kate said...

LMBAO!!...nah..u did admit to hating on pretty girls with nice boobs and ample can u just have one..or two..why do u need all three?

Zena said...

Only you can make everyone come out of hiding to comment.....Mgbekkksss... Nne, My kindred spirit, I was rolling on the floor laughing with this one.

Infact, that is my favourite hobby, male bashing.

But only Lagos I know ooh, I haven't been anywhere else in that country. But can't that be said for ALL Nigerians, we all have that shallow quality to us, infact I read an article on that...I'll post it if I can find it

As for QC girls......I can't hate them, My mother is one,All my friends are QC girls, they're not that, I understand sha, but the other schools shld throw their noses up in the air and be proud to now abi?

lol, I loved this. Should I be jubilating that your back

Anonymous said...

Haaa!!! I soooo hate pretty girls!

Stom said...

lmao....first off i am a QCOG and i think i might hate QC girls.....also BankyW rubs me the wrong way majorly..i think he might be bicurious/ really really gay because every time i see him my gaydar goes crazy IMHO

Anonymous said...

original mgbeks this ur post is just 2 funny. i'm a lagos babe. i too dont undastand d fake accents. me i just go out n have a good time in my proper naija accent.

@shadenonconformist, hmnnn are u sure u want banky to take off his hat? i think not. but yeah if bruce jenner can cut his hair den he should loose d beard asap. although i imagine he wud need a crowd of supporters cheering him on d day he ever has 2 make d transition.

Nefertiti said...

Flat line __________ time of death = 11.45am EST.... Laff wan tear my belle...

I be hating on all girls' school chics, period. Can't stand the nose up in the air attitude from even the not so pretty ones, I'm like b!tch puhliizzzeee, u ain't alladat!

But ummm *clears throat*... Why are u hating on Banky though, he's a cool dude. Speaking of his beard, you know I can imagine someone holding a "T-square" up to his face, like "yeah 45 degrees?, and he answers, "Precisely". That jawn is like precision sharp. I love power dressers and confident men.

We need exorcism from this hate, mgbeks, but I totally feel you!

Neo said...

I rep Ptown jare!

As for BankyW please i will supply the razor blade to shave dt beard and steal his hat while ur at it. If he's one of the coneheads let us kukuma see it.

franni said...

my fellow Porracort babe, I just pined your tab.

All, the talk abt Governor's kid n high school friends,... hmmn, i just might know you sef.

Oh, so those Lag 'I'm not quite sure of my personality' are now air-kissing too? *poppin a can of Hatelin juice*.

As for Banky, we'l shave him and apply anti-hairgrowth lotion.

blackrubies said...

on ur comment on Banky W's beard God bless you!! Omg I was watching his video with M.I yesterday o and I was just like wtfish is this rubbish. Its as if he takes pencil and ruler and draws the thing..I dnt even undertand whether t is fashion or lack of correct facial hair...anyhoos pls carry on hating I support u on that one...oooo and any song he sings alone omg its like crayfish is singing in ur ears, I like when he sings with other pple for like 2 seconds...he should take his inCapable voice and beard somewhere else sef.
On the lagos pple, i am from lagos oh(like I really am) and I lived in Lagos for most of my life...only a small percent of pple r like tht o, and u hear of them more because they r the ones who leave their house to show what they r made of :)

Unknown said...

Artistic hater?! That's just priceless

I'm a Lagos guy and I totally get your hating on 'typical' Lagos folks. It's a lot worse when you have to endure it everyday. The fake accents, name dropping, the working of words like 'ping' into every sentence. Ah, the evils of BlackBerry.

LOL @ QC girls, Men and beautiful girls.

Banky W.: Good music, zero
charisma. Enough said.

~Sirius~ said...

This post cracked me up.

"that's how we feddy girls roll" *wink

I stare at the Lagos peeps and shake my head ( even though I live within people with your exact description)

Banky W.....can't really be bothered. Just like his music.

QC girls o!!!!!! Let me leave it at that.

As for pretty girls....I only feel sorry for thnumb that sell that as their number asset

Original Mgbeke said...

Hahahaha, thanks for the comments guys! I see that I am definitely not alone on the QC, Lagos and BankyW hating. Woohooo. LOL! :-D

Sugarking said...

LMAO on the Banky thing! oh, me I hate women seriously *swallows eba*. hahaha!!!

Ginger said...

Osondi, Owendi :-)
I hate me Banky's thready beard too - but you gotta admit its doing its job - attracting notice and comment good or bad. hehehe.
I love to hate me QC/KC alumnus too. In fact, add those FGGC Owerri girls who don't even have the renowned network of QC. mscheew.
Pretty dumb girls I can't waste my hate watterage on. They and the Men who run after them deserve each other:-).
Babe, its too damn near Xmas for all this hating jare. Happy Holidays to you!!

Molara Brown said...

we both have to hate thingy in common..QC girls and Banky W....hehehe.

Welcome back...and Happy Holiday

The Activist said...

lol at our lady, the artistic systematic hater. It is allowed, carry go! lol

Emeka Amakeze said...

I didn't dey there o!

Anonymous said...

"Men are assholes!" Granted, but a blanket hate on all of them?....hmm, i'm not sure. You might want to consider becoming a lesbian and get it over with. The world is a more open place we won't judge you, although you might want to consider not telling your folks as per heart attack waiting to happen lol

NoLimit said...

Btw you and NiceAnon,you will crack my ribs!
I love to hate Lagosians too jare.
I can't stand the plastic babes...having said that, some are totally fantastic o! They just use that silly air as camo to hide the vulnerable them!
Great post

Nigerian Drama Queen said...

Original Mgbeksss.
We should meet up one of these days since you're in the DMV...

NaturalNigerian said...

I had a good laugh! LWKMD!

Ginger said...

2011 never begin for your side? Oya new post!

Anonymous said...

Ginger,Ginger,Ginger (~.̮^) I am an alumni of FGGC Ow n I knw myself well enough 2 b sure I dnt fall in2 d category u placed us all.
Granted,most of us...erm dem (I insist,I no folo) feel like d village dey emerged 4rm is in New York n..... My point? Pls dnt direct d hate @ all,m sure der r a few like me (•͡.̮ ~͡).
@ Original Mgbeke - I knw ur encounter with Banky n his perfectly lined beard/moustache makes u h8 on him,but I think u shd reconsider.
For a start,he directed me 2 ur blog(hell no I dunno him in person,I wish... He mentioned ur blog on twitter) n since I trust his good judgement n he also sounded like he admires ur work (as do I nw *applaudin*) it wnt hurt 2.
Also,I follow som of em stars n after a yle,get bored n unfollow dem coz dey r empty (like all dem saccharine sweet ladies.... Urghh awl drink ur h8 juice 4 dem anytym,anyday) but Banky stands out.
I wnt go on n on abt him (even though awl £♥√ع to) but pls,4 d sake of this new fan of urs.... ff him 4 a yle on twitter n see 4 urself (I do hope ur not doin d@ already,make u no 1da which kain olodo I b.... Awl check wen m done here)
Speaking of "olodoz"..... Ndi "fake" Lagosians,y'all fall in2 d@ category (dundees,I meant olodo category *rme*).
Na ona knw wetin ona d kain mumu ona de mumu cos in my opinion,if u cnt take it 2 d bank,its RUBBISH *rme again*
2 worsen d situation,some of my PH peeps sef(yewlz,I b concentr8ed PH gyal (•͡.̮ ~͡)) 2 don de adapt d@ "olodoish" (I hope y'all get y I stick with d word olodo) trait n it is Kwayzee wen I see dem act a fool.
*sigh* well,w@ can I say? Na nonsense people dey like smh.
@ taynement - aaawww... I share ur h8 4 d mushy mushy couples. D h8 sha get special time.
Within d space of tym I let my heart get broken (trust me,we all do d@) n when I find som1 I can act all mushy mushy with (yeah, m 1 of em 2... Bite me *tongue out*)
‎​​​​​˚☺kªª¥°​​‎​ ... I think I shd end my plenty talk here.
Ehen! B4 I 4get, Sugar King (9ce name) d@ pix u put 4 dia make sha. But ehn.... Na u b d@? (~_^) abi na anoda 1 of una (men) deceptiv tactics? (Yeah,I drink d h8 juice also cos of em guys who....*holdin back*)
Abeg abeg it af do 4 me,got lotsa pings 2 go read (h8ers of 's *tongue out*).
Una bye bye o!
Thumbs up original mgbeke.

Anonymous said...

up phc peeps!!! we too much.mgbeks i just stumbled into your blog today and you are hilarious