I rep Naija.

I was lurking on Nefertiti's blog one day and I noticed that her mental perception of me, among other things was 'Naijacentric'.

E mi ke? Naijacentric?
I have never considered myself to be the commander in chief of promoting all things Nigerian. Infact, at this stage I am one of those people who have no grand plans of moving back to Nigeria and turning things around, as most of my peers appear to do.

But I love and miss my home. There is truly no place like home!

I was driving on the '95 one day with my dearest mama who came to visit, and she grumbled 'why do you follow these big trucks so closely'?
To which I laughed and said 'Hmmm mommy if this was Naija now, that truck would have 10 men sitting at the back staring right at you, and some Christian slogan like 'No weapon formed against me shall prosper'
No be so?

These are a couple of things that I love and miss about Nigeria/Being Nigerian.

• As I said on Nice Anon 's blog the other day, only Nigerians will come up with all kinds and sorts of yabs. 'You are nothing but a hanging pant under my feet'...abeg o! How does a hanging pant end up under your feet? OR 'Please go and brush your teeth before talking to me', 'Idiot of no economic value'...ha niile. Bwahahahahha, Nigerians will not kill me with these yabbis oooo. Shuoooo.
  


• Nigerians are cocky and arrogant. We act like say na our papa wey dey run the show, I mean can you guys imagine if Barack Obama had Nigerian roots as opposed to Kenyan roots? Chim O! We for no hear word again for this America. I remember those college days when we'd go for our African Students Association meetings, as soon as Naija peeps enter the room you go know. Loud ass mofos! You just can't help but love it.
  


• I miss the general hustle and bustle of Naija. Abusing/Cursing out Okada men who try to hit your car, and God forbid you're a single woman driving a Mercedes Benz, na so the Okada man go tell you say 'Ashewo, you no even dey ashamed...you dey ride big man's benz'...as in the dodoyo would assume that na Ariztos runs wey land you that kain fine car. Like I said, you can't help but not love those yeye exchanges when you sit and think about it.
  
  
• I miss boli and fish, authentic suya (Not this overpriced chit they sell here), buying sweet agbalumo on the road (remember how they said that if you chew the skin, it will turn into gum?), Mr. Biggs fried rice...yummy! And all those tasty goodies that even if dem get am for obodo oyinbo, it just tastes so much better back home.
  


• I miss hearing those bus drivers shouting 'Aba road, Aba road 10 Naira' (PH standup!) but I don't miss actually getting on the bus and then the yeye conductor would be collecting money and say things like 'Psssst, fine girl...wey ya money?' , I actually do miss the Okada rides sha. In Uni I used to enjoy taking Okada from the main gate to my department...woohooo, breeze go just dey blow well well...Shuoooo I no go front o jare.
  


• I miss the generosity of my fellow Nigerians. Uncles and Aunties would come to your house and 'raise you' or 'sponsor you' with money for no reason...as in 'take this N10,000 for transport'. Abeg which kain transport dey cost N10k? Na to carry that moni catch 'drop' for 1k and pocket the remaining N9k o jare. As ladies, if you went out with guys, it was always a guarantee that you never had to reach into your own pockets to pay for jack! Infact ehn, the Christmases wey I dey enter Naija...I hardly ever touch the money that i carried as pocket money. Sponsors just plenty...Abeg awoof dey good o jare, no look me with that kain side eye. You know you miss it too.
  


• I used to enjoy going with my mom to the market to shop for my school provisions and pricing the goods. All those Aba boys would say stuff like 'Sister, come now...I get am for my shop. Which one wey you want? And then they would try to inflate the price of the good of course, to which my mother would start pricing down. 'I go pay N500 o', Aba boy would respond 'Mba Aunty, 55o na my last price'...then my mother would get up like she wanted to walk away and Aba Boy would call her back...'Oya Aunty come back, I go collect 500'. Classic!
  Or is it the Aba boys that would try to sell baffs to you? 'Sister, come na I get one fine pedal pusher wey dem just send from London, the thing go just match this ya yellow leg well well' or 'Aunty, come see this hipsters for my store...I go give you special price for am'
  


• I miss the most basic things like going to buy phone credit from the girl across the street, knocking on people's gate and asking 'Is Mary at home?', all the househelps and drivers with names like Comfort, Peace, Blessing, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday...LOL
  


• I used to enjoy going to bend down boutique sha. Again, no frontin'...if man pikin can shop at the thrift stores here, why sleep on bend down boutique? Yo, Oil Mill market in PH had some of those good finds. But the heelarious thing was as per we dey form big ghelz we would hella wake up extra early to enter that side plus all the really good stuff was usually gone by noon, and man...if you saw other chicks that you knew na to quickly duck into the nearest stall and wait for them to pass. The next day, na to rock the baffs well well and when people asked 'Cute top, where did you get that from? you would just bone face and say 'Oh this? I got it from Collectibles'. LMAO...why was Collectibles like the ultimate place to shop sef?
  
  
• I actually miss those Mama put peeps. Yo, don't give me that look...when you go to Uni in Naija, you end up doing a bunch of stuff that you might have otherwise frowned upon. I remember those days between lectures where we would have long breaks. Na to enter back gate and hit up Aunty K to get some of that good ol' authentic food! Takeaway of course, you know say gbo gbo big ghelz like us can't be caught eating the food in the spot. We'd take it back to someone's room and dig in....ahhh memories.
  
  
• I miss partying in Naija. I still say that the social scene back home is wayyy more popping than this ish around these parts. In reference to Uni again, I swear we used to go clubbing on some very random days. Like who goes clubbing on tuesday night? lol. But yo, why did I just have this memory of those random parties that I attended while I was in secondary school and they would do the 'all boys out'. Hahahahaha, oya male bloggers make una come confess o! Which of you wey dem bounce after 'all boys out'? Oh and for anyone who is lost, all boys out was pretty much something that was done at parties where the male to female ratio was greater so the organizers would call 'all boys out', pretty much bouncing all the dudes out of the party while the chicks waited inside and then only the correct guys/correct looking guys/friends of the host were let back in and the wack dudes/inshi men/chewing gum boys had to find their square root.

LOL. I miss home for real.
So, what do you miss about the homeland?