Your Priorities, My Priorities

As some of you may remember, I wrote an article for Jaguda.com back in the day on my views about moving back to Naija. As expected, a lot of people tensioned my life for stating that I consider America to be home and love living in this country. Years later, that view has still not changed.

I was recently talking to a U.S. based someone who was championing the case for moving back to Nigeria. Per the typical argument, he said “there is money to be made in Nigeria” and how levels really dey. According to him, an annual salary of $150,000 for a U.S. resident is “rubbish” after paying all your bills and taxes. Odiegwu. I said “rubbish kwa? That’s a very strong word o”. I had to bite my tongue cos the next thing coming out of my mouth was going to be "Have you ever encountered $150k in your life sef?" but I said let me chill for guys. Nigerians sha. Just be yarning real opaks to prove some non-existent points. As in, 150,000 annual salary never reach me finish and I’m still able to pay my bills, save money, and live a pretty comfortable life so for one to say that $150k is rubbish so we need to move back to Nigeria where there is real money to be made is some real bullshit. I agree that there is money to be made in Nigeria, but that is an entirely separate argument that should not involve bashing people's annual salaries in the USD. Voltron force has spoken.

That shenanigans aside...besides this recent conversation, I have had a lot of discussions with people who champion the move back campaign with the magic words – “There is money to be made in Nigeria”.  I used to know this guy who went to college here and then moved back to Naija some years ago. So post-move, he visited Yanks and I have to give it to him, he was looking like a fresh Lagos Island bigz boiz and exuding the corresponding swag. During our meet-up, one of the first things that he said to me was “You guys are struggling with 9-5 jobs in this country? Move back home, there is money to be made”. I said “I’m cool. If all of us move back home, we will finish the money for una na”. Abi no be so? They will all be shouting move back, move back, instead of them to be happy that we are allowing them gather all the money while we "suffer" in obodo oyibo. Might I add that he was able to quickly make his own money because his father is a rich man in Lagos with connects? Uhn uhn…

However...I am not blind to the fact that people seem to be balling in Nigeria (or at least have packaged themselves well enough to give that impression). You look at these event red carpet pictures, and everybody and their mama is carrying $1100 Celine handbags like Celine handbags is agbalumo. High end brands like Louboutin, Prada, Chanel, just full ground anyhow like it’s nothing. Now even Bentley has turned into pure water, and all the celebrities are buying Bentleys. To add to all of this, every other day on Linda Ikeji’s blog, there are posts about people dropping millions of naira for Range Rovers and all kinds of shiny SUVs. Trust that I do not doubt that there is money in Nigeria and some people’s pepper has seriously rested. Even on the “small scale” level self, someone that my friend knew came to America on a 3 week vacation and she brought $6,000 shopping money along with her. When my friend gisted me, I was like hohohoho! Where did it even begin to reach me that I would carry $6,000 for a shopping expedition to a foreign country? When I still have outstanding student loans, a car note and rent to pay?? That one surely fly pass me o, I ain't even going to front.

But even with the car note, student loans, taxes and all the obligations that I face as resident of the US of A, my complaints are minimal and I still love living in America. I acknowledge that I will probably never get to the Lagos or Abuja big babe level and I’m okay with it. I do like my relatively simple life and am not particularly driven to move back home and strike it big. Some may see this mentality as settling for less where I can be living a bigger and more ballerific lifestyle back home and they certainly are entitled to their opinion. See as I just listed student loans, rent, and a car note?… some people aren't here for that. Like the person that bashed the $150,000 annual salary pointed out, people making the big bucks back home are paying serious cash down for cars and eliminating debt with the scribble of a pen over a check (or cheque in Naija/Britico speak). When Linda Ikeji bought her 8 million naira SUV, I quickly pulled out calculator to see the USD equivalent and I had to mentally hail the babe. As for me, the ability to drop such thousands of dollars in cash down most definitely pass my power. If my Naija big babe counterparts are walking into a store and dropping $1200 cash on a designer bag, I on the other hand, would have to do a real opportunity cost assessment before I ever shelled out $1200 on a bag. So it’s all a matter of priorities and what you want out of life and personally speaking, my wants aren't on a kentro level.

That said, to people who do wanna move home and pursue the “let’s get this money dream”, I’m not even mad at that. Whatever works for you. I think that my biggest irritation with such people, or people that have already moved back is that they think you are crazy for not wanting to do the same. It’s all a matter of respecting opinions and recognizing that we have different priorities. Let it not be a long thing.

And that is all she said

PS:- I'm aware that not everyone that moves back home achieves the "Nigerian dream". I'm also aware that not everybody toting a Celine bag or driving a range is a legit baller...maybe they have Ariztos daddys, are involved in some shady business or something. For fair comparison purposes (because I work hard for my money), the money makers that I'm talking about in this post are the legit ones and not any 419 or arizto assisted versions.

Wifey Material Points = Nonexistent

I realize that I tend to be a little too outspoken on these men/women issues especially when it comes to men’s expectations of women. I remember visiting my sister in Aberdeen back in 2010, and we dropped by a family friend’s house. Somewhere along the course of the evening, the man started yarning something about girlfriends and cooking. I forget exactly what it was, but I remember being very vocal about how no boyfriend of mine should expect me to cook for him. It is a privilege and not an obligation bro! I guess I was a little too vocal about my views. My poor sister was so surprised. She later coached me that I should learn to observe chill sometimes.

And then my male friend recently said the same thing. He said “you and this your gra gra, you know that could be a huge turn-off for men”. The old me would have said “ehn, they should be turned off nah!” but the new me who is attempting to observe chill said “aight. I’ll work on it”. And “serzly”, I’m trying to not always come off as the angry black raow raow woman who isn’t trying to do jack for a man. I’m currently cracking up now sef ‘cos I remember that someone once asked my friend why I, the Original Mgbeke, always seems to be so anti-cooking for a man. I guess her question was fueled by my outspoken views whenever the topic came up on shows like Gidilounge etc etc.
Let me put it out there people: I am not anti-cooking for a man. I will in fact cook 3 meals a day sef for a very very deserving boyfriend (Okay, I’m lying. That would actually be ONE meal a day boo) however, it absolutely gets my goat when men feel entitled to the things that us women do, or feel that women should be campaigning for the positions of wifey. With that, I will straight up tell you to kindly fly out of my line of vision. Narnsense.

So anyway, as I was saying…I am truly trying to observe chill and not always be popping off with my liberated views but sometimes these negros make it SO hard. Case in point, last week, I was on the commuter hustle with my really good male friend and 2 other African guys who I normally ride the train with. We were gisting and somehow, the topic of convo fell on men and their expectations of girlfriends. One of the guys said that he once asked a girlfriend to help him clean his bathroom and it really pissed him off that she said no. This is how the conversation went:

Guy 1 (The complainant): Imagine, she refused to saying that I shared the bathroom with my brother and so she didn’t think it was right that she should clean up after us.
Guys 2 and 3: That’s messed up bro.
Me: Let me get this straight. You asked your girlfriend to help you clean your bathroom. Was your hand broken? Did the doctor order you to not engage in any domestic duties for a week? Was she your housegirl? Was she paying rent in your house?
Guy 1: But if she’s coming over to sleep and sees a dirty bathroom, she should definitely take the initiative to clean it. In fact I shouldn't have had to ask.
Guy 2: I agree. That’s why these girls aren't getting wifed up. You all need to understand that you are pretty much auditioning for positions so you need put your best foot forward. You need to show men that you are domesticated.
Guy 1: That’s right. I guess that’s why that girl is still single self (Note: Guy1 is currently engaged to someone else)
Me: Guy 1, You are such a douchebag for that statement . And please, you men can save your silly auditions for a woman who cares about that nonsense. Best believe that I would not go to any man’s house and clean his bathroom when I’m not paying rent in that house. Na beans?
Guy 3: Ehn but if you needed your tire to be changed, you would call a guy abi? If you need light bulbs to be changed, you would be paging guys.
Me: Those are such basic examples though! What’s the big deal in changing a light bulb? Don’t insult a woman's intelligence please. As for my tires, I can call triple A.
Me: Also, if we are talking about initiative, have you all as men ever taken the initiative to clean a girlfriend’s dirty bathroom?
Guy 1: Why should we? As a woman, your bathroom shouldn't even be dirty to even begin with…
Me: All you African men are such clowns, it is very obvious. If any man expects me to clean his bathroom, then I guarantee you all that he is in a serious jonzing world.

***The snippet above is just a brief summary of the convo. Of course the conversation continued and before we parted ways, one of the guys told me to “Position myself” in regards to the matter of being seen as wifeable. I told him that if that is how babes are positioning themselves, then I decline.

No disrespect to any female who is about that bathroom cleaning life, but personally, to get on my knees and scrub a tub, clean a toilet bowl and engage in all that stuff is pretty damn deep! Standing in a kitchen and looking cute while turning some fragrant stew in a pot is one matter. To clean a man’s bathroom is an entirely different matter and I promise all my future husbands who are reading this post – It will never happen if we are not cohabiting in the same space, living together as husband and wife, or there are extenuating circumstances at hand - i.e. The man is confined to a sick bed. Other than that, as long as you are hale, heart and able bodied like me, you have hands so pick up a bottle of catdamn clorox and clean your own catdamn bathroom! Nonsense and foolishness.
I guess I just don’t know to play this dating game. Like I kuku told those "three wise men”, I’m not here to fake any funk and I will not put up any fronts, therefore I will not come to your house and clean your bathroom or do your laundry (that came up too). What I look like? Your housegirl? Nah bro.

These men sha, be wanting women to display domesticated traits and then after she has turned herself into a househelp, the men will bounce and marry some other entirely undomesticated goddess. If my point of view puts my already non-existent yards of wifey material further into the red, then so be it. Like I kuku told those guys, you African men can entirely miss me with your million rules and requirements, thinking that you all are doing us women a favor by proposing to us and it absolutely gets my goat. I am trying to chill, but trust that I will come out popping off every now and then when presented with ridiculous situations like deducting points because a woman refused to clean your bathroom/didn't take the initiative to show her domesticated side.  If you want to observe whether she’s clean or domesticated, go to her house and see how she keeps it. I maintain that until you put a ring on a woman’s finger and both of you say your vows as man and wife, she is under zero obligation to do anything for you, or prove anything to you.

*Steps off soapbox and resumes observing chill*

PS:- I have had some of the most random ass conversations with African men on thier expectations of future wifeys. I should someday blog about the one that told me that it's negative thing that all he ever heard me talk about cooking was grilled chicken/grilled fish, as per no Naija food was mentioned. LMAO. I really can't...

Whose Annointing Are You Tapping Into?

If you’re a dedicated BellaNaija (BN) reader like I am, you've probably noticed that BN wedding posts seem to take the cake. Most of the readers love to observe and fawn over a good ol’ wedding post. I certainly do enjoy looking at the wedding posts myself. My favorite things to check out are the “how we met” story, the couple’s chemistry (or lack of it), the bride’s dress, and the oh-so beautiful and handsome guests.  I’m convinced that it’s either that only fine people attend those Lagos weddings, or the photographers just gravitate towards the good looking guests for our viewing pleasure. Either way, a BN wedding is usually a fun thing to look at.

Of course, with the typical BN wedding post comes the typical accompanying comments with a lot of women firing prayers and doing fasting ontop the marriage matter. You will typically see comments such as:
“Father, please I am waiting for my own oooo”

"Father, do it for your daughter abeg"

“In the name of Jesus, I use this couple as a point of contact and pray that my boyfriend will propose by X month…aminnnnnnn”

“God abeg, send me my own rich, fine husband. See oppression”

“I tap into this couple’s anointing…”

Like clockwork, it’s always amusing to read.
I’m not even mad at women who know what they want. Hats off to every woman out there who looks at such a wedding and boldly proclaims that she is waiting for God to do her own. My prayer is that Baba God will do it for you too my dear sisters according to his will….amin! But ehn, that whole business of tapping into people’s anointing is just a somehow sonthing ooo.

I mean, think about it. What kind of anointing are you tapping into? Is it God’s own annointing? abi is it juju? abi na winchy winchy anointing? I personally cannot be tapping into anybody’s anointing because I no sabi the kain principalities and powers wey don anoint that marriage. You gats check am and realize that all that glitters is not gold.  Now I’m not saying that everybody’s marriage is suspect, not at all. Some of them are on that legit p. All I’m saying is that if you want to tap into any kind of anointing, you need to hit that direct extension to call your God and tap into his own direct anointing. Can I get an amen?

Recently, the news circulating the blogs was that some Chima Anyaso fella proposed to his girlfriend at her 25th birthday celebration in Dubai. If you keep up with the haps, you may know that this same Chima once had a pretty big wedding to another woman that featured on BellaNaija back in 2010 abi 2011. It was this really fancy affair, well attended by more than a few celebrities, and in general, the couple looked like a darling, happy duo.  Sure enough, there were at least one or two individuals who tapped into the anointing of Chima’s marriage.  From the gist of the matter, 9 months down the line, Chima and his then-wife called it quits based on a bunch of conflicting reports of he said, she said...in the end, na only both of them wey sabi the real koko of wetin happen for that marriage. Still, with all the he said, she said stories that I read about the supposed cause of their separation, na so I come ask myself…so what about the people that were tapping into the anointing? Is that the kind of anointing that they want on their marriages? The anointing of a marriage didn't last for up to 9 months and still has some serious K-leg stories that surround it? If na me personally, I go pass on that kain annointing o. Shuooo.

Forget the Chima gist sef. I’ve observed at least 3-4 weddings on that BN where I heard some kain scoin scoin back story about the couple, but on that beautiful day, as they shined bright like diamonds in all the fabulousness, some people were there tapping into their anointing. If you sef come hear the koko of their stories, I doubt you would want that kind of anointing in your own marriage. So brethren, the point of all these long story wey I don yarn finish, be say… when I observe weddings and admire the fabulousness of it all, I am careful to draw the line at tapping into anybody’s anointing as per I no know wetin don anoint that marriage. Make I no use style and tap into any juju kind of annointing. I will just continue to look to the God that I believe in, and ask him to send his own special brand of annointing that I can tap into for my ideal marriage. Ya fizznaeezy??? (That would be the rapper Lil Scrappy’s slang for “You feel me?”).

And that is all she said. Have a fantabulous weekend guys.

The Coding Issue

An old friend recently got engaged. This was her second engagement. The first one was very much publicized with a multitude of Facebook pictures and the whole world armed with the knowledge that she and ol’ dude were an item. Along the line, she started to see things about the man that she wasn't feeling so she called off the engagement, and it was this huge issue. Now, a few years down the line, ol’ girl got re-engaged to a new boo-thang and pretty much, a whole bunch of people didn't know anything about it until the day she that posted a traditional wedding picture on BBM and we were like “Hold up! You were engaged???” Look, I’m not even mad at her. It’s a case of once bitten, twice shy. The babe coded the matter well well, and in the light of her previous experience, who can blame her?

I am beginning to understand why some people keep engagement and wedding talk strictly under wraps and within the circle of trust. Within the last year and a half, I've heard of more than enough broken engagements. They all stemmed from a variety of reasons:

“I found about things about his family that I wasn't comfortable with”

“We got engaged and realized that we truly weren't compatible”

“He started to show his true character and I had to bounce”

And the worst of them all…

“He wasn’t sure”

To that last reason and the multitude of unsure men who roam this earth, all I gotta say is that God is watching you mafakas HDTV. May a man not waste your own daughter’s precious time, you hear me so?? God forbid a man raises my hopes, I start planning a wedding and then he pulls the “I’m not sure”. Heoooo, my God will fight for me on this matter! There will be blood! *catches the spirit*. If you’re not sure, then you better start to reveal yourself from day one biko. Thanks in advance.

But let me not get side tracked…

If all these once bitten women code their engagements the second time around, then I’m not mad at that at all.  I mean, do you realize how freaking awkward it is to display your ring on BBM with the status message “he put a ring on it!!!!!!!!!”, relay your very intricate proposal story that elicits a bunch of “awwwwwws” from every listening ear, and start to go through the process of planning a wedding, only to have to go back and start explaining to everybody down the line that “ummm, wedding’s off guys”. Shoot, if that was me, I would zip my mouth tightly the second time around. It’s sad that something as beautiful as getting engaged can’t be as celebrated as it should be, because of doubts, uncertainties, and even the so-called enemies of progress who may be trying to pour sand in your garri.

So yes, I understand why more women are keeping their steez on the low-key status these days.

However, here are two instances of coding that I still don’t get:
1. I put up a random post last year or so, where I briefly touched on coding and how I was blown that an engaged babe could come and be forming single babe with me, only for me to find out 4 months down the line that she was getting married, and had been dating her now husband for about 4 years. Now, while I understand the concept of coding, this was one aspect had me scratching my head. As in, I kent be here talking about how it’s hard out here on these streets and your engaged self kwa will be following me to yarn “men it’s tough for us single girls o”. In that scenario, I felt that at the very least, she could have simply issued a general statement like “ahh, I hear that my sister” or something and kept it moving. To say that I was blindsided by the babe’s engagement is an understatement.

2. When your supposed close as in “personal people” code their own from you kwa. It’s one thing to keep the matter from the general public and “friends” in the general sense of the word, and another to code it from your peoples peoples. I know someone who did that…did introduction and all her so-called close knit friends were in the dark. Like hia! I know myself, that's the kind of thing I would take hella personally. I'm talking about my personal people here o, like shiooo.

As for me, when my turn comes…will I code my own matter? Well, by default I’m not one to put information out there. For me, relationship types of things generally stay on the lowkey, and so an engagement would probably not be a publicized matter.  I was recently telling my friend that while the recent trend of folks putting their engagement info out there on Twitter (and spamming my TLs with the congratulatory RTs) is kinda cute, I know that it’s something that I wouldn't do, just because it’s not my nature.

So if you are about that coding life for your own personal reasons, then code away. And if you’re not, nothing do you as well. You know my steez on matters like this… “to each his/her own”.

Such is Life

My friend’s wife once tried to hook me up with this dude. In the name of fairness and open-mindedness, added him to my BBM, and to start with, his beyond shorthand grammar was absolutely slaying. He typed things like:

“am kul”
“I wz der”
“am cuming to ur hse”

I mean, dude was across the seas so our communication was all occurring on ze BBMs. The first impression no make sense o jare. But grammar aside, the man’s communication skills no get part 2, and I honestly felt like it just wasn't gonna be a good pairing. The height of it all was one day when he sent me a BBM to ask how my day was going and I said “it’s going well…winding down”, and he responded with “ahh, I can tell you are having a good time”. In confusion, I asked what he meant by that, and he said “you are winding down…you must be a good dancer” (I’m obviously quoting this in perfect English here) and y’all…I had the BLANKEST stare on planet Earth. Nah bro.
*As a runner-up to this amaxe stuvvs, he once stated something about “popping campaign”, which I later learned to be “popping champagne”. Errr, nah.

But let’s not deviate…
So, one day my friend’s wife engaged me in a grilling session…asking me why I wasn't proactively checking for her homeboy, and how he always hit her with the feedback of how “I don’t PING him”, and he was frustrated with the situation because I was very non-responsive to his IMs, and not very forth-coming in general. As the voltron force for her boy, she gave me a long spiel about how he’s a really good guy that she can vouch for any day, and how he was doing very well in his businesses, and is generally frustrated ‘cos the wimmens in Nigeria are after him for his money, and so he wanted a fresh wholesome babe like yours truly (Stories that touch). She then added as her (well-intended) parting shot… “Please give my friend a chance. Remember that the men that we ladies tend to be checking for, usually aren’t checking for us so maybe you should face the ones that are checking for you”.

I chuckled at her not so veiled sub (there’s a back story to that) but in retrospect, regarding that “the ones you like don’t like you” steez, I wasn’t even mad at her ‘cos truer words have never been spoken. I was gisting with my friend one evening. This friend of mine has had quite a lot of toasters for as long as I've known her. She’s the kind of babe that always has at least 2 men actively on her case in any given period, and in general, bruvs are always hitting her with some pick-up line or the other. Recently sef, some bruv who has been on her case sent her a Facebook inbox dropping some hot lyrics about how he would love to upgrade her last name to his last name...LMAO, I’m not making this stuff up. So, one day we were doing a rundown of her toasters as she wondered why she had never given any of them face and whether she was being too picky, and she stated with pure frustration… “How come all the men that I've been crushing on aren't the ones that are on my case. In fact  if it was my crush Emeka* that had said that he wanted to upgrade my last name, I would have quickly responded to say… baby, no need to mention, I've already dropped my father’s name for yours”. I cracked up…I mean, it was hilarious but I could feel her frustration. Such are the complexities of life.

The people you are checking for usually aren't checking for you. The people that are checking for you usually aren't the ones you are checking for. Such is life my people. You can either weigh the pros and cons, and if the pros seem to outweigh the cons, try manage with a bird in hand even if you’re not completely sold (maybe one day you will)…or you can free your hands entirely and continue to do your thing until life hands you a balanced equation. I no be Ms. Cleo no ni…as I always say, do whatever works for you. And as you do it, remember that life is unfair and such is life! :-D

And that is all she said.

*Name changed so that said crush won’t be feeling like a G6/If said crush has a girlfriend, acid bath will not enter this matter.

PS:- In my last post, Ifeoma Odogwu asked me to remove my word verification in the comments. As soon as I did, I got like 40 anonymous folks spamming me with Viagra pills and other things that I don't need. So the verification is back to stay, I know it can be annoying but such is life. Hehehehe.

Year 2012: Taking Stock – Better Late than Never

Before I begin, can I just send out a very belated happy new year to the universe? I’m always tardy for the party, but my mentality is: Better late than never. In the usual form of annual taking stock, I've given last year a very good mental rundown and, in an overall rating, I give it a C-. I will try and break it down in the most non-cryptic way that I can.

The Good

First of all, and as cliché as this may sound, I lived to see a brand new year. Each new day was a new opportunity to seize the day, and so even with all the internal craziness that I felt last year, I did strive to wake up every day and make it a good one…which didn't always work, but hey, at least I tried.

I started out the year with some drama, uncertainty, and setbacks in my job, but after the good Lord delivered me from my evil ex-Project Manager, and I switched teams, I got a chance to prove myself and I am past all of that drama. In fact, my current Project Manager has nothing but good things to say about me and my work, so that was indeed a high point in 2012.

I didn’t travel as much as I normally do, but I still got a chance to do a lil somn somn – San Fran to spend time with my homeskillet Naks and celebrate her baby shower with her, Mexico to celebrate Tayne’s milestone birthday, and Nigeria to see my family. All expensive trips, but very much worth it.

And ultimately, I am thankful for the good things like small mercies and the little things that we take for granted in life, good health, good friendships and my family.

The Bad

I think of it as the big year of limbo, and living in a general state of blahness. I just felt stuck in this impenetrable bubble, and to be honest, a lot of times I didn't know why exactly. I felt a lot of unhappiness and restlessness with life in general, and even my usual high note of self-confidence took a nice dip. My peace of mind wasn't feeling so peaceful anymore, and I experienced the largest bout of mood swings ever.

At the beginning of 2012, I set goals and by December 31st, I had only achieved maybe 15% of those goals – majority fail. Of course, I had a huge role to play in those failures so I will gladly point fingers at myself too.

This was also the year that I realized the suckage of not recognizing or seeming to have a passion/purpose in life. Till today, I remain envious of people who know that they want to do with their lives because I still have no friggin’ idea what I would love to do with mine. I like my career field aka I don’t hate it, but it’s not something that I’m passionate about or I love. I go to work, do my thing, and it pays the bills and keeps me comfortable. If I was to ever make a switch to another industry, I have no idea what it would be. And yes, I took one of those personality/career test things and still remain clueless. It was a constant nagging thing that kept popping up in my head, and now I just continue to pray for clarity in that area.

Last, but not least, I did not feel on top of my usual A-game. I was in this state of constant lethargy and not wanting to do JACK, recurring boredom with everything (including myself), and a general attitude of “I’m not in the mood”. Even wearing clothes to go out started to be a chore, and I just wanted to remain in my little zone majority of the time. I did try to do things to "self help" like the 31 day reset (but I still wasn't feeling reset after a while and so I quit).

The Ugly

None, thankfully.

In 2013 – As we already are on this 22nd day of January

Every day is a new opportunity to try again, so once again I have those outstanding goals on my to-do list, as well as some new ones. I recognize my weaknesses, and I’m working to get past those limitations. I want to get back to being in the mental space that I used to be in, feeling more in control of my thoughts and my attitude, and just getting back to ME. By God, I will not look back at 2013 and peg it down as another meh and blah year…amen? Amen.

Enjoy the rest of your week.

Hometown Glory

The last time I visited Nigeria was in December 2005 into January 2006, and so after 6+ years being away from the Homeland, I am finally reuniting with my country this December. For the past 6+ years, I have not heard word from my parents about visiting home. Everyday my mams will say “come home so that people can see you”…or “All your friends came home this Christmas, but you didn't” or “Aunty so and so said that you and your sister should come home and visit so that husbands will find you” (LMAO @ that one). In fact ehn, last Christmas…my dad who is normally more nonchalant on this matter apparently ran into my friend at a wedding and asked her to beg me to come home and visit. Oya naa…I am finally going home so that people and these so called husbands can see my face. I don’t think that my prolonged absence has been terrible sha…after all, I know people that have not touched ground in Nigeria for the past 10-18 years. Now that’s gangsta. One of the key reasons that I’ve put off visiting Nigeria is that my parents visit Yanks every year. Sometimes my mom visits twice a year sef, and my sister is in the UK…so it’s not like I have mad family in the homeland that I need to go visit. This year sha, my parents put their foot down (not like say dem dey pay for my ticket ooo), and insisted that I gats visit, so I said okay o.

The last 2 times that I visited Nigeria, I was a college student and just bought the bare minimum on my broke college student wages. This time around, I’m a working gal, and I haven’t been home in a while so man o man, prepping for this trip has been quite expensive. I have spent quite a bit of money on gifts, and random necessities like a visa and a much needed luggage set. In fact, speaking of luggage, My two boxes are dangerously teetering over the 50lb weight limit, and I'm done even done packing. I have bluntly refused to spend any kind of money on excess baggage so whatever can’t go will be left behind.

My parents live in Port Harcourt, and so I will be mainly based in the PH zones. I don’t expect to have any sort of a bubbling time like my “just gat becks” counterparts that are heading to Gidi. To my knowledge, PH is a very dead zone. Heck, all my friends who lived in PH have moved to Lagos sef…so ummm, any plans for some “cool funs” is looking very unlikely. I had planned to escape from PH and ze parents and engage in some Lagos paroles and bubbling, but logistics aren’t looking likely. Gotta attend some weddings around the East, which doesn’t fit in too well with the time frame of my paroles. I've jejely resigned myself to my fate and decided that I’m just gonna take one for the team this time since I haven’t been back in a while and let my parents have their way on this. But like I've already told them…the next time I enter Nigeria (hopefully not in the next 6 years) I am leaving you guys and doing my thing according to my own schedule.

All that aside, I am really looking forward to my trip. It will be nice to go  and reacquaint myself with my beloved country, bask in some sunlight, eat suya, see people, be spoiled by my mother dearest (who is so so excited that my sister and I are going to be around) and just enjoy a straight 2 weeks off work. I do know a few people who will be in PH for short time frames so I don’t anticipate that it will be an entirely dead trip. Meanwoos…everybody keeps telling me to shine eye on the husband issue….LOL. Quite amusing advice, if you ask me.  Like I always tell them, the babes that are in Naija wey never snatch the so-called husbands nko?

All yarns aside, this will probably be my last post for 2012, so I just wanted to touch base with everybody who actually reads this blog. I appreciate each and every one of you. Thanks for keeping up with my lazy azz, commenting, and what have you. I pray that 2013 will find us all safe, healthy, and happy. Have a very wonderful holiday season and God willing, I will catch each and every one of you in the new year. Happy Holidays y’all *shines my 32*

Peace, Love, and all the fantabulous things that you wish for yourself!