Is What He Sees Really What He's Gonna Get?

I have a friend who was practically harassed by an ex-boyfriend to confess her “number". She said that the harassment started when she started pulling some tricks inna di bedroom and the guy would be interviewing her and asking JAMB questions such as “where did you learn how to do that?” and eventually his judgmental attitude towards her bedmatics led to the end of their relationship. So as a once bitten, twice shy babe, she has sworn that in her next relationship, she is going to roll up to that bedroom forming the ultimate innocent “holy nweje” like she doesn’t know NADA.

I could definitely see where she was coming from on that p, as I’ve had/been privy to a couple of discussions where men casted pure judgment on women based on their behavior/personalities. Let me give some examples:

1. A male friend once told me that one of his friends passed up on marrying an otherwise great girlfriend because he was uncomfortable with the advanced levels and skills that she had in administering “bolaji” aka blowjob. This is a very true story.

2. I was having a convo with a friend about women going to strip clubs and how men view this. Ordinarily, I didn’t think that it should be an issue but like my friend pointed out, it could be one of those things were you go with your homeboys and they don’t care ‘cos they aren’t trying to make you the one. But let wife material enter the equation, and you will see how the story will drastically change. In fact as someone else so wisely pointed out, you might think that it’s nothing going to a strip club with your male friends, till one of their eligible bachelor friends who might have been winking at you visits from out of town and dem boyz casually mention that they went to the skrip club with you, and you will see how quickly that wink will disappear.

3. Even the most basic things like being the turn-up chick who knows how to knock back shots of patron/hennessy/ogogoro and is the life of the party is all well and good until men start looking for wife, and those same lively traits will collect a big red X as such tinz won’t a good wife, make.

Like I said… men are a very interesting set of individuals. You would think that it would be nothing but simple science for a man to be attracted to a woman who for the most part mirrors his interests and activities i.e. If he likes to enjoy the occasional night at the strip club, he would gravitate towards a woman who enjoys the same thing. But apparently not, as we can see that when it comes to some men and their mentality, what is good for the goose is not good for the gander and they will judge a woman who shares such proclivities.
Isn’t it pure hilarity when you meet some confirmed turn-up masters who spend practically every weekend in the club but will open their mouths to say that you can’t find wifey material in the club. So it’s husband material that is chilling there abi?
And I think that the most baffling statements are from those men who frown on certain sexual activities and claim that they would never engage in such with their wife and the mother of their kids as it would be demeaning to her. To which I always ask that if you aint gonna do that with your wife, then who exactly will you do it with kwanu? The convenient side chick abi? I'm getting you brothers.

The interesting thing about some of these men who pass up on a “lively” or even “worldy” woman for the demure wifey type is that down the line they start to complain. I know of 2 men that fall into this category. Totally by-passed women that would have gelled with their outgoing, turn-up nature and went for the quiet, wifey type (in their words). Now years down the line, these same men are complaining that their wives are boring, anti-social, not interesting and blahblah. I’m like abegi, save those #firstworldproblems for people who care. As you make your bed, so shall you lie in it so biko carry your sob story to the gods.

The way I really see it is that in this man’s world that we live in, there is absolutely no winning for us women. I’ve always been a firm believer in “be yourself” and “what he sees is what he should get” but please don’t take my advice sha as I can’t say that being myself has greatly helped me in the relationship department. I feel like the real winners out there are women who know how to (temporarily??) modify and conform to what they think that men want to see.
If he says that he doesn't like a turn-up babe, please don't listen to my opinionated (and quite single self) as I insist that you continue to go out and have fun, and please hang up your mini skirt + retire the Ruby woo (for now...*snicker*).
If he says he wants a quiet girl who won't stress his paroles while he camps out at the club every weekend, just get with the game and form "stressfree" and "go with the flow"...again, for now.
Infact, e get this girl wey I dey silently hail as someone who has the formula downpat. Her fiancée is the type who likes to go up and down turning up in everybody’s club, as in every weekend he dey mark register…and he loves the fact that she never stresses him or bugs him about how he doesn’t take her anywhere. But as I dey look the girl, I see a sharp babe that will give him some 180 degree character turn-about after marriage. When bobo gets up like “I’m going out with the boys”,she will flex muscle and say “Oh yeah? I’m coming along too”. And then he’ll be like “where is the woman I married?”…she probably was right there all along bruv.

A leopard can’t hide its spots forever so ultimately a woman’s true self will come out but shoutouts to women who have mastered the strategy of “I’m going to form A and then reveal B after I have guaranteed my spot in this situation”. I can’t even be upset at your deception because I do think that some men bring it upon themselves. I mean, in 2014 when some men will overlook a woman’s great traits such as her great personality, good looks, excellent credit, caring nature etc etc and dismiss all of that based on “She parties too much so I aint gonna wife that” or "she's way too advanced with her skills inna di bedroom", e reach to be coding some aspects of your personality until further notice. All is fair in this game of trying to get chose.

And that is all she said.

Peazeeeeee.

The Superficial Reasons Behind Why You Didn't Get Chose

Ya know sometimes when men reject us women, we go on a self-blaming spree…

“Oh, if only I knew how to swing off chandeliers”
“Oh, if only I could cook like Lohi O”
“Oh, if only had been more expressive and shown him how much I cared”
“Oh, if only I hadn't been as thirsty and made him wait a little”
"Oh, if only I was more of a wifey material"

Blahblahblahblahyadiyadiyadiya.
In our minds, if we had been a little more awesome or perfect and exhibited the traits of a true wife material, we would have gotten CHOSE.  But have we ever stopped to acknowledge our current and existing awesomeness and think that “Maybe it really wasn’t me. Maybe it was him”?

I’m not saying that we ladies should live in denial and not improve where we can but sometimes no matter how awesome you are, a man will still next you or not make it official with you because of his purely superficial reasons based on things that you might not be able to control. I've had pretty random convos with the guys in the past that opened my eyes to how superficial some men can be or how they have all these really nitpicky criteria that will get you a failing grade no matter how hard you try. For instance, some guy once told me that he nexted a girl in the past strictly because she had no nyash (booty). According to him, she was cute and really decent but he just couldn't get past the nyashless factor. I couldn't believe my ears, so I asked him “You mean to tell me that if you met a woman who had 9 out of 10 of the attributes that you look for in a woman but had no nyash, she’s dismissed” and he said yes. He then tried to explain that nyash is a pretty important factor for him in selecting a woman and that if he ends up with a woman with no nyash, he’s definitely going to cheat. He also said that he needed to feel proud of the woman that he had on his arm if he’s showcasing her in public and so her body had to be on point, nyash inclusive. I hit him with the O__O eyes and wished him good luck in his search. The sad thing is that this man will probably end up with some big booty dimepiece in the future because you know, men have the playing field with plenty options and can afford to be entirely foolish and get away with it. Such is life.

I’ve heard about other dismissal criteria that sounded really crazy to me, such as:
“She looked like she had the tendency to get fat after kids”
“She was too tall. I wouldn’t want to end up with a woman over 5’9”
“She wasn’t Nigerian so I knew that I was definitely not going to wife her” – This came from a man who dated said non Nigerian girl for 3 years. When I formed Voltron defender of the Universe and berated him for leading the poor girl on, he simply shrugged and said that bodi no be wood. He was keeping her around until he found something better.
“I wouldn’t marry a woman with darker skin tone than me”
"She had no swag or presence"
Etc etc.

Yep, I've listened to men tell me all of the above and more…and no matter how irritated I was by their reasoning, I knew that my vex couldn't boil indomie because like I said, it is a man’s world and no matter how foolish a man might be with his reasoning, there’s going to be at least 20 women out there that fit his specifications and criteria. He's going to dismiss your ass and move right onto the next chick who fits his criteria and you have no option but to deal with it. Tough world mayne!
Because women outnumber men and because we are generally more accommodating, we aren't as critical or picky. We might say that we want a tall, strong, dark and handsome swaggalicious fella with a great job and doing XYZ, but if we meet a man who doesn't fall into our ideal height or weight range but happens to check off most of our boxes, I bet we would be willing to compromise as opposed to an instant dismissal. Heck, a lot of women will even work with a guy if he only checks off 5 out of 10 things on her list. It’s a tough life that we live in this man’s world but it is what it is.

Oh, and you know one thing that I realized? Men will have all their high end criteria for what they want in a serious relationship or marriage but when it comes to just kicking it and sleeping with you, alllll of that relaxes. For instance, someone once told me that while he had slept with a lot of Igbo women and had no problem kicking it with them, he knew that he would never marry an Igbo woman for a bunch of reasons.

So there you have it. No matter what you did and didn't do, some men will dismiss you for things that are beyond your control such as your height, maybe your weight, the color of your skin, your nationality, origin, and tribe, age and what have you. This is honestly why I'm never mad too mad at a woman who is supposedly "picky" or a woman who does her own dismissing and the world is looking at her like she's crazy. Like "omg, he looks good on paper and he has a great job and blahblah. Maybe he will grow on you". Umm no. I'm like look, a man will NEXT you in a heartbeat if you're not his spec so please if he's not your spec, don't be shy to say bye bye too. Sometimes we females can be over-accommodating on some "let me go out on this 10th date with him and see". Date 10 kwa? Me thinks that if you haven't seen that sonthing by Date 4 then it probably isn't meant to be. Remember, most men won't even give you Date 2 sef. No be small thing my people.

The good news is that there are also a host of other fellas out there who don't buy into the ridiculous mentality of being extra-superficial and who will be more than accepting of you and everything that got you dismissed with the last guy. Until you find them in their hidden locations, what can I say? Continue to do you. Any man who dismisses you for his own superficial reasons doesn't deserve your time and energy in the first place.

And that is all she said.

Whose Annointing Are You Tapping Into?

If you’re a dedicated BellaNaija (BN) reader like I am, you've probably noticed that BN wedding posts seem to take the cake. Most of the readers love to observe and fawn over a good ol’ wedding post. I certainly do enjoy looking at the wedding posts myself. My favorite things to check out are the “how we met” story, the couple’s chemistry (or lack of it), the bride’s dress, and the oh-so beautiful and handsome guests.  I’m convinced that it’s either that only fine people attend those Lagos weddings, or the photographers just gravitate towards the good looking guests for our viewing pleasure. Either way, a BN wedding is usually a fun thing to look at.

Of course, with the typical BN wedding post comes the typical accompanying comments with a lot of women firing prayers and doing fasting ontop the marriage matter. You will typically see comments such as:
“Father, please I am waiting for my own oooo”

"Father, do it for your daughter abeg"

“In the name of Jesus, I use this couple as a point of contact and pray that my boyfriend will propose by X month…aminnnnnnn”

“God abeg, send me my own rich, fine husband. See oppression”

“I tap into this couple’s anointing…”

Like clockwork, it’s always amusing to read.
I’m not even mad at women who know what they want. Hats off to every woman out there who looks at such a wedding and boldly proclaims that she is waiting for God to do her own. My prayer is that Baba God will do it for you too my dear sisters according to his will….amin! But ehn, that whole business of tapping into people’s anointing is just a somehow sonthing ooo.

I mean, think about it. What kind of anointing are you tapping into? Is it God’s own annointing? abi is it juju? abi na winchy winchy anointing? I personally cannot be tapping into anybody’s anointing because I no sabi the kain principalities and powers wey don anoint that marriage. You gats check am and realize that all that glitters is not gold.  Now I’m not saying that everybody’s marriage is suspect, not at all. Some of them are on that legit p. All I’m saying is that if you want to tap into any kind of anointing, you need to hit that direct extension to call your God and tap into his own direct anointing. Can I get an amen?

Recently, the news circulating the blogs was that some Chima Anyaso fella proposed to his girlfriend at her 25th birthday celebration in Dubai. If you keep up with the haps, you may know that this same Chima once had a pretty big wedding to another woman that featured on BellaNaija back in 2010 abi 2011. It was this really fancy affair, well attended by more than a few celebrities, and in general, the couple looked like a darling, happy duo.  Sure enough, there were at least one or two individuals who tapped into the anointing of Chima’s marriage.  From the gist of the matter, 9 months down the line, Chima and his then-wife called it quits based on a bunch of conflicting reports of he said, she said...in the end, na only both of them wey sabi the real koko of wetin happen for that marriage. Still, with all the he said, she said stories that I read about the supposed cause of their separation, na so I come ask myself…so what about the people that were tapping into the anointing? Is that the kind of anointing that they want on their marriages? The anointing of a marriage didn't last for up to 9 months and still has some serious K-leg stories that surround it? If na me personally, I go pass on that kain annointing o. Shuooo.

Forget the Chima gist sef. I’ve observed at least 3-4 weddings on that BN where I heard some kain scoin scoin back story about the couple, but on that beautiful day, as they shined bright like diamonds in all the fabulousness, some people were there tapping into their anointing. If you sef come hear the koko of their stories, I doubt you would want that kind of anointing in your own marriage. So brethren, the point of all these long story wey I don yarn finish, be say… when I observe weddings and admire the fabulousness of it all, I am careful to draw the line at tapping into anybody’s anointing as per I no know wetin don anoint that marriage. Make I no use style and tap into any juju kind of annointing. I will just continue to look to the God that I believe in, and ask him to send his own special brand of annointing that I can tap into for my ideal marriage. Ya fizznaeezy??? (That would be the rapper Lil Scrappy’s slang for “You feel me?”).

And that is all she said. Have a fantabulous weekend guys.

You're not married yet...

Every day, you log onto FaceBook and what do you see waiting for you on your homepage?

‘Bisi has gone from being in a relationship to engaged’

‘Anita is now married’

'John just put a ring on it'

If your homepage ain't giving you the gist, you are straight up hearing it from the horse’s mouth when the Bisi actually updates her status via her Iphone for Facebook with ‘OMG, I’m engaged’. Or Anita is updating her status from her honeymoon, talking about ‘Chilling in Morrocco with hubby, I’m so blessed and lucky to have him’.

So, you’re like dagnabit! I’m taking a FaceBook break because this oppression is too much but, you learn the hard way that you can run, but you can’t hide…for the very next day, your homegirl is calling to give you the 'latest gist'… ‘Omo, guess who don engage themselves ooo’. If your homegirl ain't calling you, you're feeling the oppression every Sunday at church, when the Pastor stays announcing the latest engaged couples, and urging y'all to congratulate them, and pray for them. And if church isn't doing the work, all the millions of wedding websites that are circulating the internet, definitely hit home.

It doesn't help that you dated Mike for 6 years, and then he broke up with you on some 'baby, it's not you...it's me' and then turned around to quickly move on with some other chick, and propose to her after only 8 months of dating. You're like crap! What did I do wrong? I cooked for him, cleaned for him, provided a listening ear, performed those acrobatics in bed, and played the wifey material role like I was supposed to, so what did she do differently, that I didn't? Heck! He always told you that you were 'wifey', and a 'keeper'...but I guess actions speak louder than words. You're actually pissed off by the unfairness of the whole situation...after all you groomed him, primed him, prepped him and introduced him to your family and friends…only for him to pull the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’…and 8 months down the line, you stumble across his wedding website and you’re like what??? Imagine! Another babe dey enjoy the result of your hardwork. Kai!

Matter of fact, it seems like all of a sudden you're hearing a whole bunch of those 'they dated for 8 months, and he proposed' type of stories, and you can't help thinking about all the men whom you dated for 2 +years, and they ain't say peep about marriage. But when you think harder, you realize that all of them are married, so it definitely wasn't them with the problem now. Could it be you? things that make you go hmmm...

You're kinda hoping that this marriage fever will pass, and all man will begin to hear word again but who dash monkey banana? Marriage season is here to stay, and somehow you've been left on the sidelines looking at those million wedding websites, FaceBook status updates, and feeling those random twinges of self pity because it seems like everyone else in the world is getting married, but YOU.

‘What’s wrong with me', you ask. ‘Why can’t I meet a correct bobo too?' I’m smart, educated (2 degrees and counting), pretty, can cook a mean isi-ewu and generally throw down in the kitchen, can cook it up in the bedroom as well, and come to think of it, all those ex-boyfriends of mine always complimented me and said that I was 'wifey material’.

You just can't seem to meet a decent bro. The dating scene is wack and the 'market' is very dry and drab looking. All the guys that you've met recently all seem to praise your greatness and tell you how awesome you are, and how you’re wifey material…but…they aren't looking for anything too serious, and just wanna be friends with benefits.

You're tired of playing these guessing games with men...he likes me, he likes me not. You just want some permanence o jare! Someone to call your own, so that you kwa can oppress other single ladies on FaceBook. Ah ah, e easy?

It doesn't help that all your married friends smugly tell you how men see their future wives, and instantly know that she's the one/after a few months of dating, they know that she is wifey, sooo you're definitely thinking that something is wrong with you.

You’re thinking ‘chai…30 dey approach ooo’ (since the memo went out, that 30 is the cut off age after which if you’re still not married, you should go and jump off a bridge). Your ‘juniors’ don marry and born pikin since. In fact, dem dey on their 3^rd pikin now sef. Your mates dey rock matching aso-ebi with their husbands in church and/or weddings.
You officially hate going to weddings because all the boo'ed up women seem to clutch their boyfriends possessively while marking their territory, the married women seem to be very smug about their status, and when it’s time to catch the bouquet, your married friends give you that pitying smile and the nudge like ‘girl, go and catch the bouquet na’.

Everyone is asking ‘oh baby, why you dey single sef?...you need to put yourself out there, go out more, be more social’…but they don’t know that if you do any more putting of self out there, na to run naked for street, remain.

You even start dreading running into your Aunts, because the subject of marriage always comes up and they give you all these suggestions, like you ain't tried it all. And let's not talk about your parents...

What’s a girl to do?

Do you continue to mull over the matter and feel sorry for yourself? Maybe even drive by a couple of bridges on your 29^th birthday to determine which one you will jump off when 30 nack and ring no dey for hand?

Do you hang up all your mini skirts and abortion belts, in exchange for more Mary Amaka looking outfits, because ‘well behaved women and wifey material don’t hit the club no more’.

Do you join the church and become an usher, because rumor has it that all the good and God fearing single men full ground for church.
Do you hold off on buying that townhouse that you’ve been eyeing or that 2012 BMW, because your mother told you that men are intimidated by successful women?

I mean…girl, what are you going to do? Put your life on hold waiting for marriage to happen? Worry your pretty head about things that you can't control?

Truth of the matter is...you realize that you might get married, and you might not. It's all a game of fate + luck. So in the case of the latter, what's a girl gonna do? Hop off that bridge because life without marriage is a life not worth living?

But one day, like a bright shining light...it hits you and you jump up from your workspace in corporate America, feeling energized and ready to take on the world (your coworkers are alarmed but they will be fine). The light bulb goes off in your head and you suddenly know that you must continue to live life to the fullest and not worry about things that you can’t control. The dating scene is wack, and you're probably not going to meet a man at the wedding that you plan to attend next weekend, but so what?

The 'good' men are MIA (the women in Yankee claim that the men are in Jand, the women in Jand say the men are in Yankee, everyone abroad thinks that they are in Naija, and the women in Naija give you the blank stare, and say that there are no men)…so really, where are those men hiding? Well, until that magical secret hiding place is discovered, you decide that you are going to continue to do you. You're going to have fun with your girls (single or married), you're going to buy that BMW...life is short, abi? You're going to travel more and experience more of life. You decide that you're not going to put your life on hold and worry your pretty head over the fact that there's no bling bling on your ring finger.

You say to yourself 'I'm not married yet, but so what?'. Life goes on.

The end.

PS:- Many many thanks to everyone who commented on the previous post. I didn't realize that I was missed o. *cheeses*. Gracias, I really appreciated the comments.

PPS:- Definitely gotta thank whoever nominated me for the blogger awards, *curtsies*. I truly appreciate am.

PPPS:- Abeg make una pray for me o, I am definitely suffering from the case of 'lazyblogoritis'. I've been soo lazy, had a bunch of stuff I wanted to blog about/been wanting to make rounds and catch up on my fave blogs but na pure LAZINESS. I go try do better in this month of June. *crosses fingers*

Peace & Love.

It is one thing for the man to have money...

...and another thing if he actually spends the money on you. No be true wey I dey talk?
And I'm saying this because I stay hearing females gush about some paid men, talkin' about...'He has a great job making 6 figures, he drives a nice car, he is PAID'. I'm like oh that's all well and dandy but is he stingy? Is he an aka-aradite? (remember that strong glue wey we dey use for Naija?)
Trust me, when you date enough men, you will run into that man who has a nice profile...nice job, nice car, 4 bedroom house in a nice suburban neighborhood, the right education...everything about him will look good on paper until he takes you out and he tries to mask his cheapness under the guise of saying ish like 'Do you really need that? 'cos I don't want you to lose your figure' when he notices that you are perusing the dessert menu during your dinner date, all in the name of trying to get out of paying for your $6 dessert. True talk!

And while we are talking about money and men, what is it with men instantly assuming that every woman is out for their money? Like seriously negro, fall back with that foolishness. I remember one bobo wey ask me out to dinner but the bobo no sabi my hood well well so he asked me to pick a restaurant of my choice. Me, being me, I was gonna be considerate to his budget (not even knowing what it was), I mean I obviously wasn't gunning for a restaurant that served some extra expensive entrees and what have you. Na im the bobo come 'jokingly' insert...'Umm, whatever you do, please do not pick any restaurants that serve $1,000 caviar'. Joke or no joke, that statement vexed me ehnnnnn. As in, it seriously chooked me. I mean to begin with, has this man ever seen caviar in his lifetime sef? Secondly, why would he just assume that I would go for the top notch fancy joints. I found that to be very insulting and if you get to know me, you will know that I absolutely hate it when people make assumptions about my character. I will tolerate anything else but honey, please do not lump me in with those gold-digging women that you dated in this past. Needless to say, after the date...I thanked him for dinner and never called him again. Peace out homie!

Like men need to stop with that foolishness. Look at me up and down and tell me if I look like I need your money. And, I'm not even saying this on that whole 'I am a strong, black, independent woman' soapbox but c'mon dude. I have a J-O-B that pays all my bills, puts food on my table and leaves room for misc. things. I have a car that gets me from point A to B. Practically everything that I own was bought and paid for by moi, and I have never been of the mentality of expecting a man to pay my way so please don't come at me assuming that I want your money or worefa, as you dey see me so...I be correct babe and you sure as heck aint doing anything to upgrade me so abeg no dey approach me on some yeye nonsense. Ish like that just irritates the heck out of me.
I mean, a girl is innocently posing by the bar and man instantly assume that she is a thirsty woman looking for the next negro to buy her a drink.
You take her out on a dinner date and get mad when she orders an appetizer and dessert along with her entree? I just weak o! Maybe she is not a gold digger, maybe you are just a cheapskate which leads me back to my very first point in this post.

Aniwoos na the thing wey dey my mind be that and I don tok am.

Moving on, so make una tell me why my aunt is trynna marry me off. I decided to swing by her house yesterday and her friend from out of town was visiting. Mind you, my aunt don told me about this friend and how she has 5 sons who are dokitas or somn crazy and I was just like hmmm okay. Na so the woman come jam me, and since her friend was there...see the kain promo wey these 2 women were doing ehn. I almost turned red with embarrassment and I no too yellow sef. LOL.
In my very before, they were talking about me like I wasn't there. 'Her father is this'. 'Her mother is this. 'She works as a this'. 'She is a very good cook'. She is a nice girl from a good home. I was WEAK. The mother of the dokitas come dey look me up and down with approval and was like 'Ahh, won't you want me as your mother in-law?'. LMAO.
Abeg o, make dem leave tori for tortoise. Na beans?

Randoms:
1. Sarah Palin don lost her ever loving mind. Did anyone peep that 'speech' that she gave about her reasons for retiring from the Alaskan Gov. position.

2. How y'all like the new layout? Change is good...yeah?

3. My July 4th weekend was INCREDIBLY dry. Jesu Christi! I should have gone out of town sha. Mchewwwwwww.

On wedding websites, weddings and getting married.

Wedding Websites
I must admit that I’m a huge fan of wedding websites. I’m not the girl who looks at the pictures of the couple and X’s out the screen. I’m the girl who wants to read about the bride and groom, how they met, how he proposed…the whole 9 yards. Funny enough, I don’t even pay too much attention to the pictures (unless the couple is like really fine…lol).For my fellow wedding webbie fans, isn’t it extra annoying when people jump to the conclusion that because you like looking at wedding webbies, the marriage bug has bitten you. *rolls eyes*But back to the tori sha, mai people this proposal business has gotten out of hand o. As in the oppression no get part 2 again. If in the past, it was okay for ol’ boy to carry you to Fogo de Chao and get down on one knee, now hin male counterparts don outdone him. I be reading stories of how they went to Dubai or the Bahamas and he proposed. E even get this particular website where the bobo proposed with a brand new car, and the ring was on the dashboard or something crazy. I just weak o!E get this other website wey I see where the bobo wanted to wow the girl with an ‘Air, land and sea’ proposal so he carried her to Dubai, took her to a restaurant that revolves in the sky (Air), a boat (sea) and rounded it all up by popping the question while they were having a picnic on the sands (land). I just weak!

Weddings
This wedding craze no be small thing o. Or is it because I am older, that I am now noticing how everyone suddenly seems to be getting married? I have also observed how 95% of the weddings I have been attending are mainly Yoruba couples, with the random occurrence of a Yoruba man and an Igbo woman. So I ask my Igbo men, una no dey marry?I dey wonder o! Either way, I have never been fixated on dating or marrying an Igbo man/marrying within my tribe so nothing do me.
In a totally unrelated point but while we are on the subject of certain tribes, I have run into quite a good number of Urhobo men in my lifetime and among all of them I have observed that they are all really good cooks. Is it an up-bringing thing where their mama’s required that they learn how to cook? I’m yet to run into an Urhobo man who can not cook. Hmm hmmm…interesting stuff sha.

Is Marriage in my future?
My mother is seriously entertaining fantasies of ‘doing a celebration in Ikeduru’ sometime soon (Her words o). I understand that she is anxious to wear her beautiful gold necklace which she specifically told me that would be worn at either me or my sister’s traditional wedding but I don’t know how to tell her not to hold her breath. I admit that I am GUILTY of being a hard core realist and I have entertained the thought that marriage might not be in my future. It is not because I do not want to get married o, because I do. But at the same time, I don’t think that everyone will get married. You know how you have those random aunts who are like 52 and never been married? That could be any of us…that could be me. So umm yeah, I really don’t know…maybe I will meet somebody, or maybe I won’t. I hope it will swing on the positive side and I will continue to pray so. But if it doesn’t…at least I kinda saw it coming…right? Right!

On a closing note, I wonder if men still do the traditional way of having their people meet with the girl’s people to do the formal introduction before they pop the question. Or do they pop the question and then do the formal introduction?

My heart goes out to the passengers & crew of AF447, as well as their families and friends.

Nkeiruka has just updated her relationship status on Facebook...

...to MARRIED, ENGAGED or MARRIED WITH ONE BOMBOY ON THE WAY.

Cat damn!

I mean I just logged onto FB and the thing just assailed me left, right and center. If it aint a relationship status update, it's a new photo album showcasing the wonderful details of the wedding day/honeymoon.
And I'm like huh? *Blank stare*

My brain just can't put it together. I swear it can't. For one, it's like ok we are young babes still in our prime. I thought we were gonna wait till we were getting closer to 30 and all partied out before we decide to settle down. (Umm but apparently, it seems like that's just me..LOL).
And I've known most of these chicks for a good minute/have history with them and this lil brain of mine can't imagine them in the wife/mother role.

I mean, half of these babes went to boarding school with me; We knelt on the same lawn for 8 hours, scrubbed the same toilets and campaigned for the same prefect positions in SS3. And now they married? Ok brain..process. process. process.

The other half partied with me; We wore our pum pump shorts and felt cute, went to the same reunions and really did lift up our hands and scream 'baaalllinnggg' in the club. And now they are breast feeding little bomboy while their hubbies look on lovingly. Brain, imma need you to start working hard now.

Or maybe it's just extra strange to me because we aint even 26 yet. Because you see, when I was younger and I thought about marriage..my brain always jumped to an age > 26. Now I am older, and my brain still jumps to an age > 26. I guess some things don't change.

But, I'm learning that everyone is different and different strokes definitely work for different folks.

I am no where near married, not even remotely thinking of it at this point, do not see it in my short term future (read 2 years or so), and I swear my main concerns now are who to forward my resume to and what color of shoes to wear to work tomorrow. LMAO....priorities sha!!!

And on the other hand, Nkeiru baby is probably ready and has been ready for a minute, can't wait to settle and start doing the motherhood and wifey thing.

Definitely different strokes for different folks.

So, I'm gonna recover from this mini shock at how everyone is growing up and not the lirru babes we used to be. I'm gonna try to separate who we are now from who we used to be and not exclaim 'Yekpa' next time I see a FB status update and immediately of how the bride-to-be/bride and I used to scrub the red house toilets every saturday morning. I will try not to think of how we were at every bubbling party that was thrown and how we met up at the reunion in '04 and partied till the sun came up. That was then, this is now.

But as for me? For now, I'll be content with being the wedding guest who posts up by the open bar, chopulates all the wedding food and flirts with the groomsmen. My state of mind is still 'Girls just wanna have fun' and I'm content with doing just that so there will be no status updates from this end anytime soon.

Toodles!

P.S:- Can I just say that I LOVE you guys? I read your well wishes and I was truly touched. Thank you! :D... My tooth is almost healed and I get to take my stitches out tomorrow.