Recently, I was chatting with my favorite BT while browsing facebook pictures and mid convo, I randomly inserted 'Maaan, X is all types of yummy yummy'.
We continued to chat...but it got me thinking about said X dude and other types of yummy yums that I've come across in my lifetime. I run into these extra hot dudes and wonder what kind of women they date 'cos somewhere in my mind, I am convinced that I am not these men's 'type' in terms of the physical.
Oya hold your horses. I know what you might be thinking...Insecure? Never that.
I'm actually pretty confident when it comes to the opposite sex. Like a typical LEO, I expect to step up in a piece and get noticed 'cos I gots good swag, I'm a cute chick etc etc
But does getting noticed= hot men considering me to be their type? Sure, they could peep me and think 'Oh, she's cute' or 'Yeah she got that swag' but not neccesarily consider me to be what they'd usually go for.
Yes, I'm convinced that most men have a physical 'type'. I shared these thoughts with the BT and she said something along the lines of 'men have a universal type of chick that they will see and start drooling over' and I knew that my thought process wasn't too crazy.
To further prove my point, I swear we go out to the clubs/parties and the women with the tight 'fits displaying some or all of their assets (preferably a cute ass or some nice perky tiddies) complete with long cascading curls and heels high enough to put the eiffel tower to shame are the ones who stand out.
Are these a universal type?
To wrap up that gist topic, BT said 'I consider myself to be a personal taste'.
You ask me, 'Personal taste ke?, what is that?'
And I respond:- Being a personal taste means that I might not be the universally accepted standard of what is hot/cute/sexy but I'm still a fly chick who holds her own.
Unfortunately it seems that when it comes to first impressions, personal taste aint gon' cut it 'cos despite what these dudes say, looks are a major factor when it comes to us wimmens and being considered a 'universal type' seems to be what will get you noticed from the get. Meanwoos as per personal taste, you just might have to have a convo or 2 with me before you realize that you like my ringtone. :-D
Ya get my drift sha...
Some random observations from my end:
1. I'm not anti the cascading curls that could put Beyonce to shame. I just wear my hair cut low 90% of the time 'cos it's easier to maintain and yeah I like the 'look'. The other 10% of the time when I decide to braid my hair/wear a wig I swear I get more play than I would have with the short nappy hair.
Is long hair a universal standard for cuteness and short hair a personal taste?
2. Out of one of my circles of friends, I've been tagged the most conservative dresser. My Pizzle cracks up every time I show her my latest 'vintage' purchase and she calls them maryamaka dresses. Conservative because I don't show cleavage (like I have cleavage to show sef...hisss), I don't do the tight minis, and I aint no born again christian...it's just not my style. Infact I'm more of the skinny jeans, a tee and some nice heels to the club or something of that casual chic nature. One day I decided to break out of the norm and gave them a mini shirt dress that showed my oh so lovely legs and hugged my figure 8 (Heheheheh). I swear I got mad looks of appreciation that day, even cats that see me around and never speak came up to say hi. I was convinced that the dress did it.
Universal standard vs personal taste?
All in all, it's pretty interesting. And I still ask: Who do the hot men date?
Guys, what type of chicks do you find yourselves gravitating to at social events?
Ladies, are you with me, or am I on my own with this one?
Let's talk.
PS:- Post done in bits and pieces of doing everything else. Forgive the 'all over the place' nature of it.
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37 comments:
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WINNER O O O, WINNER.
i'd rather be a personal taste than the universal taste.
i like long hair, but i dont think i can rock the "huge beyonce hair", bothers my neck. i dont think i can do short hair either.
I'd rather do me...i'll feel more special if a guy likes me cos im different, not part of the bunch
speak on it sister..i am so with you
it took me a while to accept my "personal tastedness"..
i had my mini skirt phase when i was younger ..*cringes*
oh and for years i wanted the beyonce hair so bad. and people used to look at me crazy coz my natural hair is way past my shoulder.
oh i forgot to add.. the only reaon i never got the hair was cos i was too cheap to pay for it.
too true... but what one of my guys said was this, you can get noticed for two things... one is short-term and based solely on how you look like (trying to run fingers through the weave and getting yelled at is not so cool), the other is long-term and it's to do with how you behave, your confidence, you laugh... and guys tend to stay around a lot longer for that. not to say looking wack but having a great personality cuts it either.
chei, long comment. sorry o!
Your posts are so very introspective while shedding lights on bigger issues. I have several answers, let me see how articulate I can get.
1) Men are visual creatures... and women need to recognize and accept that fact. The testosterone in them makes them LOOK first and understand/appreciate later. That's to answer your "tight minis"/"tatas on display" question. If it's there, most likely a man will look and try to grab it... Hence why dressing sexier attracts more men.
2) Long hair is often associated with femininity (sp?). Hence why guys tend to naturally gravitate towards longer haired girls. It's the same with big boobs, and a round ass/wide hips. They are all natural and cultural symbols of all that's feminine. Conclusion? Men will be drawn towards women sporting those traits at first.
3) The hot guys date chicks they find attractive. I don't think there is a universal type. I do think there can be a universal "beautiful". Liya Kebede will be deemed beautiful no matter which part of the globe you show her picture. It has to do with humans being drawn to things that are symmetric. The symmetric-er your facial features are, the more beautiful humans will consider you. It's hardwired in the brain and stuff. Ask Darwin. :)
4) People often neglect the importance of owning one's beauty. Believing that you (universal you) are beautiful sends the message that you are beautiful. I personally love short hair and get more compliments when my hair is short because I prefer myself with short hair. I think when you're doing/rocking/being something that you're meant to be and you love, you radiate with beauty.
Is there even a universal hotness factor for guys? It all boils down to preference, cultural background, and how many drinks you've had. ;)
@ Temite: Congratulobia o! LOL
@Bumight: Yes ma'am. I definitely agree with you on that.
@ Reverence: I have nice legs so I dey show my legs here and there but yup, took me a while to accept mine too. Yay to PT's. :D
I don't think i ever wanted the beyonce hair. I have very thick, full hair so I always saw it as a burden.
@ Kmplx: No wahala, you can even do a mini blog up in this piece sef. lol.
Good points indeed, especially the last bit.
@ Godsister mi: Ahhh you don break am down! You spoke the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God. LOL
But on the real, good and valid points my sister.
I don't know about a universal hotness factor for men. My friends always question my taste so I'm the wrong person to ask. Teeheeheee
Dont really think there is a universal 'hotness appeal' granted some women will be universally regarded as beautiful but ultimately it all boils down to personal taste, some men like their women skinny some like thier women conservative, some like their women chubby.........
Oops, ladies corner. What finds you here?
Am with you hun..
Like they say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
I carry my natural hair and some guys love it...others look at me as if to say go get a perm!! lol
so yes..i am with you on personal taste.
Hot men date skinny bitches!!!
Skinny stiletto wearing bitches with hair down their bum....
We all have our preference. But the thing is I AM, I BELIEVE that I am the TYPE. If you dont automatically want me then you have no taste obviously. Which means the majority of Men have no taste. LMAO. Thats my story and I am sticking to it. Short hair, long hair, floating gown, short short, I lookk fabulous in ALL of them.
How does Temite do it, I swear she is always first.
I've always done me, I've never really given a rats ass, I dunno...I dont even brush my weave sef when I have it, my father has to remind me that I'm a woman and that my mates are getting married.blah!blah!blah
I'm with you
After reading all the comments, Ms Sula said it best. Conversely, women are instinctively drawn to men that are tall, confident and built like they can protect. How many women would be immediately attracted to some petite, perfectly geled-haired guy with a manicure? But the good thing, is that after you spend time with said guy and you love that he makes you laugh and he remembers all the little things, then he can become personal taste :)
...the personal taste is a subset of the universal one therefore having the best of both worlds is the key...IMHO
I wear my hair in dreadlocks and it's like i get appreciative comments and glances but there's an unwritten rule: "only the brave dare". Maybe it's just me but that's the feeling i get. Maybe if I had the Beyonce thing going on I'll get more than "cool hair, suits you" comments...
But am not bereft of toasters though they are mostly guyz who profess the possession of personal taste (if you get my drift)
@Ms Sula, Word!....
For me, beauty has a lot to do with Class. The Classier you are, the more you are considered beautiful. Beauty really, is in the eye of the beholder.
@O/M, thanks for honest blogging
@ Miss Def. Maybe: Hmmm seems like the general personal taste is for the 'universal type'...?
Rethots: Yeyerism. No male POV?
WordMerch: Tis truly in the eyes of the beholder.
Afrobabe: LMAO
Temite: That's the spirit babe! I hear that.
Zena: LOL @ your father. That's funny 'cos it's usually the mamas who worry about stuff like that.
MPB: LOL. Errrr I don't know about that description of a man ever making it to personal taste levels. :-D
Baroque: Which kain grammar you dey blow for hia?
Poetic tints: I hear you o. Ditto for the short do. Dreds aye? Must be nice. I always hail people who can dedicate time to growing out dreds.
Beulah: Thank youuu, I dey try. And I hear you, beauty is in the eye of the beholder indeed.
I'd say every guys has a personal taste.
Of course there is this 'universal standard' of beauty. But I always say be yourself! be comfortable in the skin you are in. Personal taste will always prevail. I don't know how many times I've heard guys say ur fine girl but I like the way u carry yourself...in short your swag. Blah blah blah. In other words hot respectable guys that don't just wanna bed u will always go for a woman's character. But of course guys have there taste just as we females do. OM u are fine how u are jare! I say personal taste all the way.
Think about it. How many times have u been chatting with that 'fine' guy at a social event only to ask to be excused because his convo was disgustingly ignorant and uninviting?!!! Guys are the same. So what if it takes two convos, personal taste I.e. Being urself will always leave u standing out!
Ag
i believe for every personal taste, theres one hot guy out there who'd gravitate towards it..
...this girl, i go slap you oh...you know wetin i suffer before i drop that comment, i don write like 3 different long things, na im i kuku delete write that one...take time oh
I think i'd rather be a personal taste than a universal taste. Dang...well Ms. Sula and MPB don said it all...wanted to read a guy's perspective too tho!
I don’t believe in any universal standard for defining cute. It’s all about personal taste to me and mine is tall (5 ft 7), moderately slim, nice titties that fit perfectly with the body, well rounded hips (not bazookas), perfect dentition and a voice that feels like sweet music . . . Now doesn’t that sound universal but that’s my personal taste sha. Meanwhile, we never actually get that perfect ‘piece of ass’ (excuse my language) we want. There are always variations and discrepancies in what finally comes to us and that’s where the theory of ‘adjustment’ comes into play. . . If the desired is not available then the available becomes the desired. Chikena!
I'd say stick with your personal taste, it defines you!
Meanwhile, it ain't wrong to be a born again christian, some of us are and still look hawt....lol @ you not being a born again christian...
OluwaDee: I guess they all do.
SoulBoutique: You talk true talk. Now to wait on those hotties who are into looks and character.
And oh yeah I've run into many hot jackasses who make the most off the wall comments.
Buttercup: Hmmm we go dey wait on them na. lol, I feel you tho.
Baroque: Slap yaself. Infact I go Chris Brown you sef. lol, why you no tok the long tori na? Give us that correct male perspective.
Kate: Seems like Geebee came and dropped his right after you.
Geebee: Correct guy! Thanks for giving us some insight o jare. You talk better thing, but errr g'luck on the musical voice. Ha Ha Ha!
WriteFreak: No I didn't say it was wrong o, I just didn't want to come off as I'm anti the mini's etc etc 'cos I'm approaching it from a judgemental Christian point of view. But abeg, If I see born again chicks showing cleavage, I go question them small o.
Oh i definitely support you questioning anyone who claims to be born again and is showing cleavage all about! I'm not being judgemental but i think some parts of the body are not meant to be exposed period!
I plan don't do cleavages...i'm old school i know! lol
How're you darling?
Damn.. I'm slacking..
Personal taste > Universal taste. Any day!
Orthodox just never does it for me..
I went on a trip with a couple of ladies and I was dressed "conservatively" while they were not. During that week they got alot of attention, toasting, men flocking around them. I felt envious. Then I tried the whole "cleavage-revealing" tight skimpy gown thing. That day, a picture of me was taken and posted on a website. My husband saw it and i can tell he was not please with it.
Since then, I have stuck to my taste. It is comfortable and does not bring unwanted attention. I dress to accentuate my features but not to reveal. I stick to my personal taste...
Hmm I've been reading everyones comments and I get the general feeling that everyone supports personal taste. I'm not quite sure where I stand in the universal taste- personal taste scale probably somewhere in the middle. I like staying true to my personal tastes but perharps I'm not brave enought to fully embrace my personal tastes. For example I would like to cut my hair low as in really low but mehn the kind of male drought that will follow I'm not prepared for. So i just basically try to find a balance.
N about born agains showing cleavage...I don't have any cleavage but my own contribution is everything in moderation. I like to wear short things cuz I have nice long legs and I like to show them off from time to time...I don't have to look like mary magdalene before I am a correct born again christain..you just have to be conscious of excess and appropriateness
Writefreak: I hear that o jare. I am fine o, I hope say everything on your end dey okay.
Rita: Wow, I ope hubby wasn't mad for too long. In the end it all comes down to being you and who you are comfy with.
RocNaija: Yay for some more male perspectives.
Tiwa: I definitely appreciate your honesty. Very interesting perspective..yup it's all about finding that balance between excessiveness and what's appropriate.
Thanks dear, i'm doing very well...
WHO CARES WHAT THEY LIKE! eeeek! do you homie (homie being anyone reading this, not necessarily the blog owner).
I'm definitely personal taste. I've never cared what anyone thinks about my gear, how i rock my hair, what shade blush i put on my cheeks, or if wearing makeup on only the left side of my face bothered anyone.
This babe you have come again with the observations. But that's why I like you. Personally, I think any guy's definition of personal state should be a woman that looks like me. You get. His personal taste should be based on a prototype of me. Maybe that's sounding a tad bit conceited but... she should be cute, hella sexy & just have good ol' confidence in who she is.
But to go unto the more superficial things, then perhaps...maybe she can be 5'6"/5'7", average build, definitely not skinny...maybe btwn the range 120-140lbs, smart, intelligent, human. Abi...or what else is out there? LMAO... anyhow, to each his own.
Zara: personal taste you certainly are!
AnyaPosh: You are a trip. :D...Loves it.
LOL@ everyone being 'personal taste'...like there is a choice if you are not the universal one...i keed i keed :p
Me, ma sef know sey i be personal taste.
Ms Sula has said it all. Going by her first point. If 9 out of 10 men will grab the universal ones on sight how all the personal taste ones wan do am na?
Agree with Oluwadee, every dude has a personal taste....
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