Thursday, June 11, 2009

The lying Devil + Nigerians trying to kill me again.

O blogsville residents, repeat after me...'The devil is a liar'.
Devil I senior you. Ooooo, devil I senior you. Spiritually, mentally, financially, academically, socially and physically.

Hia, make una come and see me see trobu ooo. Devil wan try me but hin no sabi say I senior am! Mai pipu na im I get one vacation wey I wan waka go next week and I applied for my passport since May 21st o. I suppose organize this waka this coming Sunday but come Tuesday, I still never see my passport.
I come dey sweat, dey perspire. I mean, I haven't been working on getting my body bikini ready for nada, have I? Shuooo...see mess up o!

I called the Passport office and dem tok say dem mail the passport out to me since May 29th, I said haba! I never receive am oo...see me see wahala. The passport rep tok say dem go mail the passport out on Wednesday (yesterday), and I should get it by today.

But yesterday, my heart still dey do jigijigipampam. I decided to call back to see if they had sent it out again and I encountered another passport rep who started to yarn long story about setting an appointment to enter DC and have them re-issue another one. Ol' girl practically felt my claws come out over the phone as I gave her some serious attitude ehn! Is it only DC? I had to friggin' pay $200 to expedite that ish so I'll be damned if they made me do an unplanned waka into DC. The heck?

I just vex, tell the babe say make she give me tracking number so I can log onto the USPS website and peep the situation for myself. Put the tracking number into the website and saw that the passport was chilling in the post office right next to my house. In fact this passport had been chilling there since May 29...*hisses and rolls eyes*
Called the post office, the passport was there and I was out of work by 4:30 in an effort to make it to the P.O before 5pm aka closing time. Long story short, my brand new passport is right here with moi and I sayyy the devil is a liar!

So I come senior the devil for this one and I don tok say no weapon formed against me shall prosper. Amen?? Your girl is off to Costa Rica for 5 days, come next week with my passport in hand. Wooohooooo! So I'm hella looking forward to that, and I know that it will be a fun trip. :-)

On to other news, Nigerians will NOT kill me. I know you guys must have already seen the emails/ FB notes about the new Naija abbreviations. I don did a couple of posts in the pasts and some people commented with 'LWKM', it took me a while to figure out that LWKM= Laughter will not kill me. Hahahahahahahha....
As in ehn, the abbreviations no get part 2! I was seeing ish like:

MIDG - make i dey go
WGYL - we go yarn later
IGA - I gbadun am
ICS - I can't shout
DJM - Don't jealous me
WBDM - Who born d maga
UDC - U de craze
WDH - wetin dey happen
NDH - nutin dey happen
FMJ - free me jo
BBP - bad bele people
HUD - how u dey
WKP - waka pass
KKL - Kokolette
MML - mamalette
GFF- Gbono fe le fe le (e.g., she GFF)
NTT - Na true talk
IKU - It koncain u?
NDM - no dull me
LGT - let's goo there
IFSA - I for slap am
IGDO - I go die o
YB - Yess boss
NLT - No long thing
2GB - 2 gbaski (e.g., the song 2GB!)
CWJ - carry waka jorh
WBYO - wetin be your own
MKG - maka gini?
WSDP - who send dem papa
INS - i no sendINFS - i no fit shout
WWY - who wan yarn
NBST - no be small thing
NWO - na wah oooooo
NMA - no mind am
MIHW - make i hear word
NBL - no be lie
NB? - na beans?
wd - wetin dey
UNGKM - u no go kill me

Abeg o, mai kontri pipu...which kain abbreviations be these ones na? LMAO...ooops LWKMD. Hia! In fact this one no be abbreviation again, na just pure laziness. Hahahahahah. I just weak for the situation. Can you imagine what text messages will start to look like? Imagine a text conversation where NiceAnon said that she heard that I am trying to holla at Scribbles.

Mgbeke: NB? NWO...INFS (Na beans? Na wa ooo...I no fit shout!)
Nicey: NBL? UNGKM shaaa. (No be lie? You no go kill me sha)
Mgbeke: ICS. FMJ, MBDM... (I can't shout. Free me jor...Who born the maga?)
Nicey: LWKM. Anyways WGYL (Laughter will not kill me, Anyways we go yarn later)

Like shuoooooo. LOL...oops LWKM. Anyways my pipu, na the tori of the day be that. Make una continue to maintain for ya end o. Have a bubbling and shuffling weekend and if anyone wan vex you this weekend, just ask if dem sabi di day when George Bush start to climb on top okada. I mean, levels get levels. Who born the maga? In fact, I no fit shout!

Peace & Love. :-D


Chomy said...

Costa Rica!!!!!!!yeah Baby Yeah....
ENJOY dahleeeeen, u will get tan forrrr sure!!!

LMAO @ the abbreviations.....nne mehn that thing dikwa one in there is a reason why we don't abbreviate everything but trust NIgerians to elevate the maddness or is it madnesssss. i dont even know where to even start......STOP IT!!!!!! too much of everything is not that shit wont work, some of it is barely intutive, u will need NIgerian dictonary to decode it....hissssssss. I CANNOT EVEN SHOUT!!!


this ish is very annoying!!! someone sent me a message on FB and i had to call him for translation. i mean whta d hell???

Tee said...

lol. i saw them on fbk today too. apart from lwkmd i dont think i have ever or will ever use them sha.

african weight loss diva said...

LWKMD, lol, LMAO. lol.

Yes o, devil is a liar

Yinkuslolo said...

like serzly, costarica! that's whats up Mgbeks. fashi all those abbreviations jo. who has brain space to memorise such ish/ mschewwww

LG said...

lolll@MIHW :-)

AliceDCL said...

Costa rica yay!!
have fun jo, devil is a liar

those abbreviations are just too much i think i will just stick with LWKM. and its (laugh wan kill me)

Anonymous said...

lol..i loved that ur lil song up there wen i was really young..naija peeps sef..i love dem sha..u cant livw without them...but the thing be say all ur oyino friends no go fit read ur text again..and they read mine a im copying those stuff!!lmao..oops..lwkmd(laugh wan kill me die).

Miss Enigma said...

Enjoy ur trip o!!!!

LWKM= Laugh Wan Kill me..

and true those abbreviatns don plenty oo.

Zena said...


I saw these things a month ago, and it's only LWKMD that has stuck, I'm not going to be cracking my brain to remember all this crap when I don't crack my brain for serious things, shiooooo!!!

You thought I w Yoruba? lol well dats a first

Have fun in Costa Rica Hun, shebi u go take pics post abi?

And devil na real liar

Blogoratti said...



Anonymous said...

Lawd ha' mercy..this post had me in tears. Thank God for your passport oh, the exact same thing happened to me last year, foolish people.

Those abbrvs are soo silly, like really it is just pure lazines..oh and do enojoy Costa Rica!!

Unknown said...

omg... Costa Rica?? Have fun my dear and enjoy it. off ur bikini be beans!! lol

And those abbreviations are!! How they want person rmbr all those things??
The one I actually like is LWKM.....

Imagine someone texting u with all those abbreviations and u have no clue what they talkin bout....u'd be like..."danng...where is my Nigerian abbreviation list?"
LOL....start keeping it handy. That might happen anytime soon.....LWKM!!

Unknown said...

omg..... I just realised I'm NUMBER 12. WOOOOWW!! Progress from being number 20 something!! lol

Dang.... I CAN make to NUMBER 1 commenter one day!! :)

juiceegal said...

Hillarious...........all these abbreviations sef.Naija pple must to feel among oops LWKM.
U dey enjoy o....i want to follow u to costa want 2 go without me abi??

Anonymous said...

You must have the inside scoop on all things RAZZ cos in all my many years, I have not heard all these many acronyms!

Nice Anon said...

Ahhhh you dey go Costa Rica? I wish I was going! I didn't have that problem when i got my passport. I actually thought you were going to say someone stole it from the mail.LOL

My dear na me you go use do example abi? * i love it!*
But bia what is with all those internet slangs? The thing tire persin!

Repressed One said...

Naija too dey do...i saw that list and was like wth? LWKM/LWKMD are the only ones i can use *for now lol

lol@ passport wahala. U're going to costa rica??? carry me as hand luggage na u dey enjoy oh. I trust u'll have a ball.

Ms Sula said...

The devil is a liar!! Lol!

I was killed at those abbreviations. Hilarity!

Have MAJOR fun in Costa Rica dear... and you know what? My little finger tells me that something might just happen there... Keep your eyes and heart (and mind) open!

Have fun chica!

justdoyin said...

yes oh, d devil is indeed a liar...thk God u have ur passport now...enjoy Costa Rica darling...

neva heard of those abbreviations; they look n sound so that conversation @ d end? lol...totally indecipherable!

Miss Natural said...

Hehe...the devil is a liar and in my case I rebuke the devourer!!!!! Finally you got your passport, that could have been some serious ish...some people are going to enjoy oh!!! lol at the abbreviations haha.

Isabella said...

hahahahaha Coongrats O, Have a great holiday .... your blog is real cool sha :-)

Anonymous said...

LMAO! @ George bush ontop okada..
oh oops..LWKM....
shoo it took me forever to find the letters sef...

Anonymous said...

I just saw this on facebook.
ICT= Ice Cream Thots!

Naija and their wa o!

Chomy said...

comment 25: ....firstttttttttttttttttttttt

ppl take note this is how u park....enter unannounced and then declare your position...laughing like shit.

why do Nigerians take Everything to the NEXT NEXT level as in by the time they are done abusing it, it will not do again...over abbreviation is a disease!!..i am going back to typing out everything. so from now on my epistles on this here blog are going to be at least 50 characters longer than usual. laughing my ass off.

be back for comment #50.

BSNC said...

'The devil is a liar'.
Devil I senior you. Ooooo, devil I senior you. Spiritually, mentally, financially, academically, socially and physically.

i just said it o. thank God you saw ur passport...

naija and their abbreviations.

HOt anTiQue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Original Mgbeke said...

Culture C: I sure will o, don't worry I will snap foto for you. Teeheehee.
My sister the thing no get part 2 ooo, like dem don carry am to the next level. Shuoooo! I just lose hope!

36Inches: LMAO, na to keep this one handy as a decoder. Like da hell?

Tee: Even the LWKM sef get as e be, but yup! Certainly don't see myself using them.

Africanweightlossdiva: Hahahahaha...oops! LWKM. My sister, the devil na real liar!

Yinkuslolo: We thank God ooo. :D, my dia make we leave tori for tortoise, aint no one gonna be using these abbreviations.

LG: Make I hear word o! LOL

BBB: Thanks honey, I will be sure to have a good time. Yelz o, LWKM seems to be the popular one at this point.

Leggy: Yeah men I love that song. LOL, Hahahaha so the Oyinbo peeps dey stand over your shoulder read your texts ni, abi dem dey carry ya phone to read am. Yes o, these abbreviations will come in handy. WSDP ;) (Who send dem papa?)

Undercover07: Thank you my sister. I surely will. :-)

Zena: Like for realz! I no get brain for these ones biko. I don't know why I thought you were Yoruba
Thanks my dia! I go post pikisho for una. :-p

Blogoratti: LWKMD. :-D

Taymeee: My sister we really thank God. See as my heart just dey do jigijigipampam. Shuoooo, thanks my babe I will have a fun time!
And warn ya Naija peeps o, abbreviations ke? LOL...oops LWKM.

FaB: Thanks babe! You know I will show it off well well. Hahahaha, hia my dear na to keep a copy of this list posted on your wall, in your car, in your bag, your everywhere! LOL.
And congrats ooo, one day you shall be numero uno. LOL

Original Mgbeke said...

Juiceegal: LOLLLLLL, too funny. No be small feeling among. My sister I fit put you inside my suitcase sef, no shakings. :-D

Bagucci: You need to step your game up o! I'm about to take your razz9jaboi pass from you o. Haba!

Nicey m, no wahala I will bubble for both of us. If pesin tiff my passport from the mail na real MFM prayer wey I for carry pray for them o. Shuoooo...
My dear leave these Naijas. They will not kill me!

RepressedOne: LOL @ for now disclaimer. I go soon see you saying stuff like 'MDP' (maga don pay). LOL...Thanks my sister, I will bubble for you too. You fit enter my luggage sef, no shakings. Teeheeheee.

God-sis: Ooooh weeee! I just may come back with an exotic hottie. Ewoooo, I must keep you posted on this one. Thanks sis! I will surely have a good time and I am looking forward to it. :-D

JustDoyin: We truly thank the Lord. Ahh my sister these abbreviations popped up in my email, FB, etc etc. Too funny!

MissNatural: No be small devourer. For real! My mind is at rest now o, thank you I am looking forward to a good ol' time.

Ms. Fly High: Thanks missy, I sure will. And thanks on the compliment, I really do try. :-)

Brokeass: Hahahaha, me too men. My sister the day go soon come when una go see George Bush on top Okada ooo, no shakings. :-D

Anonymous: Bwahahahhaha, is it only icecream thoughts? Yogurt thoughts nko? Abeg make una leave me. LWKM.

CultureCynic: Trouble maker of mine, you are a TRIP. LOL @ schooling 'em on how to park. And double LOL at you typing out 'laughing out loud', abeg this off the hook for real.

BSNC:Darris ehn! Real liar! I truly thank the lord. Those abbreviations truly get as dem you dey na? I hope say you don coolu temper o, can't have my BSNC vexing o!

Anya Posh said...

hahaha...this babe you don dey chop crase na. i see those abbreviations everywhere...frig man, the thing don tire me. e com be like sey I be illiterate wey no fit get with the times. shet men, I don't send all that rubbish. make dem speak to me like I be dia mama..none of these rabbish...u feel me?! I needs respects yo. LOL

Reverence said...

LWKM.. i said to myseld, i know this chick did not send me a picture message of her passport..

oh and MIHW with the costa rica...

Vera Ezimora said...

LOL @ the passport sitting in the post office next to you.

Those abbreviations sha...! The only one I know is ITK. LOL.

I go fit try to remember LWKM and GFF. That's all. I no remember any1 again.

Sebi you go show us pikshur?

Chomy said...

bia kwa this woman...u berra not be intnding to post pictures of the beach and what nots...I NEED to see a PROPER picture o kam gwa gi now!!and dont even think of taking off from updating.....i EXPECT to be updated as usual.....if i even start noticing you absense enh, the sugadaddy runs will be calleed offffffffff.


The Activist said...

Hmmm those abreviations NWH.

U r right devil is a lie o, how can ur passport miss in transit for that long, anyway you are a conqueror!

The Activist said...

Hmmm those abreviations NWH.

U r right devil is a lie o, how can ur passport miss in transit for that long, anyway you are a conqueror!

Anonymous said...

you, ehn, you this woman, you no go kill me oh! first you want poison me with envy, then you make me wan die with mirth? NB?

Nigerian Drama Queen said...

Na u biko! Costa Rica sounds hella fun! Them no fit try you jare..dem know who you be!!!
LMAO at the new abbreviations! 9ja's are back again!

Nice Anon said...

Biko don't mind cynic onye ara!
post photos of the beach and interesting places inula. Have loads of fun.

Roc said...

People go dey call devil name anyhow now.. ehen.. And if the guy show na so una go dey jump comot from window..

I saw these abbreviations somewhere.. but didn't think of hw hard it'll be to have conversations in pidgin with them.. chei!

Rebirth said...

have fun in COsta Rica..... finally i now know what LWKM means.... been trying to figure it out.....

Original Mgbeke said...

Anya: LMAO, omooo make them respect o. A whole engrish tisha laik you. Shuoooo? Who born the maga? Hahahahahahaha.

Revs: I suppose share my testimony na. LOL, why are you haring on me and my Costa Rica runs? Teeheehee.

Vera: As in eh. e be laik say the post office GFF. LOL, I go show una pikisho ooo. No dizoubt!

CultureC: Chai, see threats. LOL, no wahala just for you baby! lol...abeg no withhold the Sugar D. i wan enter Naija this xmas and I need money.

Standtall: I really weak for them. Yes o, I am a real conqueror. Thanks! :-D

Kmplx: LOL, no na rice! Hahahahahaha. I no go kill you or poison you too much my dia.

NDQ: Dem no fit try me ooo...shuooo. Girll where have you been? I have missed you o!

Nicey m: Berra pesin. Yes I will try and have a good ol' time and bring pikishos back. Thanks my dia.

Roc: LMAO, lai lai...when hin come I go face am with my weapons. Devil I senior you! lol, nna ehn to have a convo with those abbreviations go hard o!

Funms: Thanks lady, I sure will. Now you know, so at least you learned a new one. lol

Tiwa said...

LWKM mehn!
thank God u got ur passport mehn..n lol at ur heart dey go jigijigipampam
lol..lwkm cannot fully substitute lol mehn NTT!

Ola Dipo said...

OH MY GOD! you are something else. LMAO...i mean, LWKMD! but i think my favorite is the DJM. sounds so like...totally, fab(said in Paris Hilton fahion). lol, i mean LWKMD

The Activist said...

Yes you are.

Enkay said...

hehehe! Naija abbreviations ke?
This is the first time I'm hearing about this, abi I dey anoda planet?
This is just too funny!

Enjoy yourself for Costa Rica o! The devil is truly a liar! hehehe!

Tracey Ellle said...

oh i quite jealoux the costa rica.. goshhh carry me in ur handbag with u please.. pretty pretty pleaseeeeeeeeee

Beulah! said...

U tew funny!, u no go kill me with laffter.

D devil na liar true jor!, thank God u got ur passport. Soon, people will stop writing in full, english language go become abbreviations. Na wah!

Unknown said...

Hope you're having a nice one? Or should it be hope you had a nice one? I haven't been up here in a minute and I've missed you. This malaria do me strong thing.

Unknown said...

LOL @ these abbreviations. Trust Nigerians.

Nice Anon said...

I am missing you ooh. Kai! Which kain vacation be this na? You never come back eh?

Emeka Amakeze said...

Enjoy your vacation and forget about all laziness induced abbreviations.
Kpatakwa ihe na Costa ma i lotawa.

Tomibecca said...

haha you're so funny..
I remember that "Devil I senior you" song from high school.AHH memories.Have fun in Costa Rica.

miz-cynic said...

i envy u o. i want an exotic holiday too

Nice Anon said...

yay! *doing a mini dance*
my darling is back oo. I don miss you very much!

Anonymous said...

Hiya! Biko, I know it's a long time since your trip, please, how did you go about the visa application?