In my rant of the day...

Contrary to the whole concept of being a tried and true 'Mgbeke', my speaking/understanding of the Igbo language truly does suck.
I grew up in Port Harcourt (obviously a non-Igbo speaking town), and within our household, my parents spoke English to us kiddies. Going off to a feddy school in the East, I had high hopes of picking up some Igbo but *ahem*, my school was filled with a whole bunch of Ajebo women from Lagos and such places, and it wasn't much Igbo speaking that was going on around those parts. It is what it is...

So it really does kill me when people make asinine statements such as 'How can you be proud of the fact that you can't speak your language' or 'Your parents didn't raise your right' or 'Wow, it's such a shame that you can't speak your language'. I mean, WHO BORN THE MAGA? Seriously, you don't even want to go there with me when it comes to whose parents raised them right 'cos If I decide to light into you and your entire household, na fight wey go start o.

To be honest, I'm not proud of the fact that I can't speak/understand much Igbo...and at the same time, I am not ashamed of it. It's a neutral feeling on my part but I would love to learn and currently have a (slacker) tutor. Ha, bless his heart... so it really elicts a WTF comment and absolutely gets my blood boiling when people just come at me with such blanket statements. Okay, so you think because your Igbo is top notch and mine isn't that you are more Igbo than I am? Motherchoker please!

E get this bobo on FaceBook wey recently updated his status talking about...'You call yourself Igbo, yet you can't speak your language. You are ignorant' and me being the defender of all non-Igbo speaking Igbo people that I am, made the mistake of trying to get him to see things from another perspective. *Ahem*...let's just say that it was a total waste of energy and at the end of it all, I really had to practice the whole taking a deep breath and woooosah-ing 'cos if my temper had gotten the best of me, Mark Zuckerberg for ban me from that Facebook. LMAO...

I mean seriously, such people get on my everloving last nerve.

Ahhh but I haven't always won the Mgbeke vs. Her temper battle. Once upon a time, there was a nice young man that I used to 'chit chat' with. One day, I met his sister and from the moment she met me and started blasting Igbo, I gave her the heads up...'I'm sorry, my Igbo isn't as top notch as yours'. Now you'd think that she would have digested the info and at least waited for me to leave before she started talking smack but no o! She kept on going on and on and on about it until I had absolutely had it UP to here and so I lit into her and let her have it. Long story short, at the end of it all...the man X'ed me from his 'chit chat' list and I earned some kind of reputation as 'that crazy bitch' among some of ze family members who had witnessed me finishing the dear lil sister. Mchewwwwww... I mean, this is how World war dey start o. Anyway, no long thing.

So yeah, when I meet a lot of Igbo folk and the topic of speaking Igbo and what not comes up, my guard is automatically up and I'm on defense mode. Get off your high horses my people, 'cos you can speak A and I can't speak it don't make you better than me, neither does it make you more Igbo than me and if you absolutely do not want to piss me off and make me say something that you don't want to hear, then cease and desist from making your mickifrickin' blanket statements. Bunch of Nincompoops!

It's all good sha, I still circle bi-lingual on forms...after all pidgin is a whole 'nother language on it's own and I'm pretty fluent at that one. :-D

Yes, you can be single and satisfied.

I know, I know…it seems that everyone has been on this topic of being single, can you be single and satisfied, can you be single and happy etc etc. Vera had a talk show on it last Saturday, Tigeress blogged about it, Uchenna blogged about it, Reverence blogged about it.And for me, it’s not just a topic that I’ve been stumbling across on blogsville. A bunch of people around me have also been discussing the dynamics of the single life and what you have it. In fact, I actually went to the RCCG Young Adults & Singles Convention which was held in Baltimore last weekend and the lovely Michelle McKinney Hammond had a 2 hour session which was focused on the topic of being ‘single and satisfied’.

Side note:- I used to have this huge complex about conventions, fellowships and any event which had the word ‘single’ attached to it. I felt like to the outside eye, it would appear that we the attendees were desperate individuals going and hoping to make a love connection with other singles when it really wasn’t the case (well for me sha). However, someone pointed out to me that for such events, singles actually applies to anyone who isn’t married so relationship or not, you are single. T or F?I was also pleased to note that during this convention, a bunch of the speakers reiterated that the essence of it all wasn’t for people to come and look for husband/wife but for the singles to empower and continue to work on themselves. [/End side note]

So, as I was saying…Michelle McKinney Hammond spoke on why we should be single and satisfied. Ha! I know that is like Greek to some of us. ‘Single and satisfied ke? How is that even possible?’…I hear some of y’all asking yourselves.Ms. McKinney Hammond is 52 years old, very much single (never married and not dating anyone) and seems to be very content. She is a well known speaker and author...(check out her books at your local library or Amazon) who travels around the world giving speeches and urging us singles to focus on loving ourselves before we even start looking for someone to love us. I definitely enjoyed her speech and found myself agreeing with a whole bunch of things that she said.

As a ‘professional single’ (self proclaimed, thank you very much)…I find it very amusing yet saddening when people liken this whole business of being single to some kind of rare disease that no one wants to contract. Women remain in relationships that cause them plenty sleepless nights saying things like…‘Please o, let me stick to this man that I have as opposed to being single’.
I mean, ladies true talk…the outlook out here for single girls isn’t what it used to be and I realize that we are getting older but seriously? The man will even give her HIV and she will stick it out on the premises of… ‘I’d rather not be single’. Folk that have been in stagnant relationships that expired 10 years ago still carry on because they are scared to come back into the single gals market… ‘I don’t know where the next toaster is going to come from’, ‘If I leave this man, what if I never find another…’, ‘We have dated for 5 years, I am now 30 and my time is running out…I don’t wanna be single at 30’ etc etc. Even men sef now use the business of being single as the latest yab in town. When you talk one, they will tell you to ‘sharrap, you are not ashamed…your mates are married and you are here doing nonsense’. I no fit shout again! I won’t even go into how unmarried women seem to get no respect in Nigeria. I mean, it seems that the ultimate status symbol is having a nice big rock on your finger around those parts. No be small thing, my people.

But it’s all gravy. I can’t even knock anyone who can’t get with the concept of it being just ‘me, myself and I’ or who feels pressured by society (esp. those meddling relatives) because I used to be the kind of girl who would spend hours bemoaning the single status and wondering why all my friends were boo’ed up and I wasn’t. I would listen to my friends and their oppressive gist of vals day pampering, romantic dates and wonder when my turn was coming. I too, used to go to events in the hopes and anticipation that I would go home with at least one number and I too, used to get extra excited when any dude approached me because ‘hey! It just might be him’. Hmmm and now that I think about it, I certainly remember not kicking one foolish guy to the curb because it felt nice to have a 'someone'. Yelz o! I aint ashamed to admit it…with age comes wisdom and I didn’t become a wise woman overnight. :-)

But seriously though, like a lot of other things in my life…I slowly snapped out of that whole mentality that to be single wasn’t the business at all and I actually started enjoying ‘Me, myself and I’ and I still am enjoying it. A good number of my friends are either booed up or talking to potential dudes and I can honestly tell y’all that e no ‘consain’ me at all if them dey plural and I dey singular. As I mentioned in a previous post about happiness, I’m good yo! I’m content, I’m in a really good and happy place right now and the lack of a significant other hasn’t even crossed my mind in an effort to put a damper on my peace of mind and contentment. I dress up and go to events and my mentality on meeting dudes at these things has even turned into a one big ‘WHATEVS'…no be this area again? LOL. Make I no tok too much tori for hia but in general, I am quite amazed when people tell ME that I can not be single and happy or single and satisfied. I mean, the heck you on about? When did you turn into me that you can now decide how I choose to feel about a situation? I mean, if YOU can not be single and satisfied then na your wahala be that o. I sure as heck aint tell you what you can and can not do so free me abeg.

On some final notes…so yeah for a whole bunch of people it is hard to adjust to the concept of just you in your singular state esp. if you are so used to the idea of a ‘someone’ around you all the time but yes we can! Ms. McKinney Hammond said that before you start looking for a someone, you need to be WHOLE…a 100% individual and not a 50% chick looking for a man to complete your other 50%. A man should not complete you, he should complement you my sisters. I encourage y’all to work on getting to the ‘single and satisfied’ phase of life where you learn to completely love, enjoy and appreciate the idea of you as a solo individual and I'm very sure that if a man comes along, he will come across a self assured woman who knows that she wants him but doesn’t need him for her happiness, a self assured woman who will not hop on the next thing smoking down the aisle even if she saw warning signs from day 1 just because she feels that her time is running out. And if the man doesn’t come (because, life is not a fairytale), at least you won’t spend an entire lifetime crying and staying depressed about it because true talk, marriage/companionship will not happen for all of us...c'est la vie!


The end.

Pictures speak a thousand words...

Blink again, you're in the right place. Truth of the matter was that I was starting to miss the stark simplicity of my all white background and so I went and got it back.

...So if you've been reading my blog/paying attention, you will know that I've had this Harry Potter Fantasy in which I stroll into a Salvation Army/Goodwill store and discover that someone donated their entire collection of Harry Potter novels and yadi yadi yada.
Well, I will say that it didn't quite work out that way. As opposed to making a one time stroll into the Goodwill, it took more like 4 strolls. One one occasion I was lucky enough to snag books 4 and 5 on the same day but every thing else was on some walk in and peruse the book section and hope to get lucky.
Aniwoos like the title of ze post says...pictures speak a thousand words so please allow me update y'all picture style on my HP collection.

As of Aug 15, 2009...I, the Original Mgbeks am the proud owner of books 2-7 of the HP collection. For some reason, book 1 has been very hard to find but I aint fazed. Yes we can baby!
How you like me now???



Decided to include some bonus pics of one of the things on my 'Pride and Joy' list...bookshelf numero uno with some of my favorite books.



Ze bookshelf was originally white but one random summer day I decided to engage in some DIY style activities and painted it a lovely mustard color. I still have an unpainted one which I swore I'd paint this summer but *ahem*, it doesn't seem to be happening.
I'd say that a good 75% of the books in this mix were Goodwill finds with one of the most recent being 'A thousand splendid suns' by Khaled Hosseini. I hope it's as good as the 'Kite Runner'.


And in more book yarns:
I'm looking into building an African Author collection starting with the likes of Elechi Amadi, Chinua Achebe etc etc. As I type, I am expecting to receive my Chimamanda books in the mail any time soon. Yay to that!
My dream of owning a personal library that will make the county's public librarian go cross eyed with envy is coming ooo! LOL.

I hope y'all are having a good weekend so far...

Peace & Love.

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs

I was reading YinkusLoLo's blog where she blogged about how people perceive certain jobs that we do in this country i.e Cab driver/Fast food worker etc etc and all in all, it made me think of the topic of 'Jobs'.

I've been subject to a serious background check which entailed that I list all the jobs that I've had in the past 10 years and my oh my, I actually had to sit and think about that one. You see, in my 10 years or so that I've been in this country, I've worked a total of approx 18 jobs or more sef
*Gasp*...18 jobs in 10 years shey? Blame it on the restlessness. As my aunt used to say to be back in the day...'Na only you wan collect all the jobs in this America'. As in, at the end of the Tax year, while my mates were filing taxes with just one W-2, I'd have 3 or 4. LOL
My current job is the longest that I've ever been anywhere and that's because it's a 'real' job as opposed to the random stints that I did during my college years.



My first job in this country was at KFC. Worked there for 1.5 months and I was O-U-T...after that I swore that I'd never do another fast food job. But working that job definitely taught me to be nice to people in the fast food industry...it's certainly not easy to maintain your cool when you deal with customers who talk smack to you because they see you flipping burgers or frying chicken.
Surprisingly, I remained a broomstick while I worked there despite my daily lunches of crispy chicken and biscuits.
I still very vividly remember my shock when I received my 1st paycheck...as in I was told that I would be making $6.25/hr and I had already calculated it well well o. I was like ok with this $$ that I'm expecting, I'm finna do this and that...only to receive my check and I was like NA LIE. This one na real ojoro...I went to my manager and told him that my check was short, that I worked X amount of hours...etc etc. Bwahahahhahaha, long story short, that was my introduction to American taxes. Chei!!!

I've also worked a lot of retail jobs. You name it: Victoria Secret (My lingerie collection was bangin' back in the day...I was also really good at getting people to open their Angel credit cards), Ann Taylor, The Limited, Ross dress for Less, Rugged Wearhouse...*I know there's more but I don forget*

I've worked at an ear piercing store/jewelry store where we had to make daily sales and I learned how to pierce ears. I remember my first piercing experience...I was shaking.
Come to think of it, I wasn't too terrible at getting people to buy Jewelry either. Now, I remember the name...Piercing Pagoda.

I've worked at department style stores i.e the famous AMES that went out of business (I had some real ghetto fabulous coworkers who used to constantly gist me of their sex lives...I will always remember how 2 of them came into work the next day talkin' bout they met up with some dudes who just got out of jail and had the best sex ever as per the dudes were catching up for lost time...*SMH*), CVS (where one of my managers was constantly trying to feel up on me. Apparently no one read me the sexual harrassment policy; and I flipped out on another manager and quit), IKEA...(It was a temporary gig but they had a good discount).

I've worked at a Sprint Customer service typa place. Well, I just worked there for 1 week and bounced. The hours were just ridiculous! 3pm-11pm 6 days a week.

I've done the Admin/Office jobs/College Work Study jobs too. Part time steez when I started feeling too grown and sexy for retail.

I've worked at a Clutch & Brake company where it appeared that I was the hottest thing walking. Imagine an environment filled with sweaty mechanics and ish, and the only other female was this 60 year old woman. Every friday, those men were always all too eager to come get their paychecks so they could make small talk with me. LOL

Of course, I did a couple of internships in my college major. At this point I really felt like I upgraded my life...Ha! Internships in my field definitely didn't pay bad at all for college kids. A far cry from the KFC days. :-p

*Racks brain*

I absolutely can not remember the rest of those my lil part time jobs ooo. LOL...but there you have it, I've had a 'range of experiences' on the job front.
Working all those years of retail certainly taught me the following things:

• Be nice to sales associates.
• Take your clothes out of the fitting room after trying them on...it is an absolute witch trying to clean up at the end of the night. I mean sometimes we'd close at 9 and I'd get home at 11 (Well, I used to catch the bus so factor in travel time sha o).
• Don't friggin' try on 10 things and walk out of the store with nada. Mchewwww....lol

And of course, that kinda fueled my shopping habit with all them discounts and all. I especially loved that Rugged WearHouse stint...talk about brand names for less. I remember snagging this BabyPhat jacket for $30 (when BabyPhat was cool), Express baffs for like $10 or less...and my all time favorite Tommy bright yellow bubble jacket that my friends still make fun of. Whatevs to y'all, I was absolutely killing it. :-D

All in all, it's always fun to reminisce, look back and those good ol' days, look at where I am in life right now and thank God. e no easy at all o!

So over it!

So twas my birthday yesterday and I really should be ringing in the new year on a positive note but some things have got my panties in a twist and so, as opposed to the nice, happy post that I had planned...I'm finna drop a rant post up in this piece. If you don't like rant posts, you know what to do, the lil red X is right up at the top right hand corner of your PC screen. Now let's get this ball rolling...

I am soo over GUYS who can't do ish for you just because they are not sleeping with you/toasting you. Everything that they do for you has to come with K leg. If you say...'Hey can I ride with you to X?'...where the initial plan for him was to go there anyway, wasn't like you are taking him out of his way, he will say something along the lines of 'Shey you will contribute towards my Gas' or something as equally foolish as that. Oh oh, so just because I am not the fine girl that you are toasting now means that you can't do anything for me out of the goodness of your heart? Odikwa risky sha ooo!

I am soo over GUYS with girlfriends/fiancees trying to approach me. Fool, you don lost your everloving mind, that is for sure. The heck I look like, trying to be your side piece? Shuooooo! And then when you call them out on it, they say foolish things like 'Well, until a ring is on my finger, I am not committed to anyone' and all you can really do after that is give them a blank mickifrickin' stare. *Smh*...some poor woman out there is happily showing his pictures to her friends and co-workers talkin' bout 'this is my boo' and the idiot is out there trying to run game on other women. I pray that these brand of trifling men will never be my portion abeg, I can surely do bad all by myself. Mchewwwwww...

I am sooo over trying to extend MYSELF for anyone when half the time they aint even thinking about me. This one includes friends kwa. Uh uh, you be trying to do and be there for people but when time comes, aint no one really thinking about you like that. I see how it bes sha o, and me kwa I don dey shine my eye. Nsogbu a diro.

I am sooo over my pressed a-s-s senior getting on my everloving nerves. He's lucky it's a recession because I am this close to chewing his head off. Abi hin never see Igbo craze before? Chain-smoking micki fricki like him. In fact I wonder if I can claim an allergic reaction to second hand smoke just to avoid working with him in the future. Nonsense and Crayfish!

I am sooo over mofos saying things like 'I know you'. Fool please! You don't know me, so kindly fall back with that over familiarity before I kerk out on your a-s-s. The heck? You don't even know how that comment irritates the mess out of me. 'I know you ke'. You better go and know your mother o. Shuoooooo!

I am sooo over the stupid woman in my apartment building who insists on hogging that one parking spot right in front of the building. It is obvious that she has lost her everlovind mind sha o. Abi I no sabi who send am to buy 2 Mercedez benz but let me tell you what this foolish woman likes to do. She has a black benz and a white benz so when she wants to take the black benz out, she will go and pull the white benz right behind it, hop in the black benz and pull it out and then get back out and hop in the white benz to park it in the spot. She does this unfailingly EVERY DAY. I swear, one day I will slash her tires if she continues to piss me off some more or leave her a mean note telling her exactly what I think of her pressed foolishness. Abi she never own fine car before? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. *WOOF*

I am sooo over people whining that I don't call them. Seriously, just STFU. Last time I checked, it wasn't like you were blowing up my phone either. It takes 2 to do this communication thing, dude. Ugh!

I am sooo over my Ghetto neighbours driving up into the complex and blasting music at 2a.m. in the morning. How inconsiderate is that? I am convinced that some individuals walking around on planet earth seriously lack brain cells and if these mofos continue to try me ehnnnnnnnnn, dem go hia wiiiii. In fact na that day wey I go show pesin say Khaki no be leather. Abi Barack Obama don start to dey climb on top Molue? Foolish stuvvings indeed!

*Errrrm that's all I can think of for now*

See? Ranting is good for the soul. I actually do feel better now...Wooooosaaaaaah. I am a full believer in letting it all out baby! Imagine if everyone in the world continued to internalize things, I bet we would have a whole bunch of dead folk up in this piece.
I also encourage people to drink a glass of cold water when they are mad about something. In fact let me share a funny story with y'all....
I, the O.M enjoys a good argument now and then, and luckily for most...as much dishing out that I do, I can also take it. So, I went to dinner with some friends and me and one dude in the mix got into it. I mean, you could tell the guy was seriously vexing about my own point of view regarding the issue at hand. I told him...'ehn, you are vexing shey? Continue to vex o. Infact you should drink some cold water make e take cool you down small'.
As I said this, I noticed that the waiter was passing by and I said 'excuse me, may I please get a glass of water'. My friends caught on to what I was doing and started cracking up, meanwhile the dude was still there making his heated argument.
The cold water came, and I handed it right next to him and said 'Drink and coolu temper. You go dey accurate'...and he burst out laughing, the ice was broken and all was well and happy in the world.

Moral of the story= When you dey vex, drink cold water. Unfortunately for me, there was no cold water so I picked the next best thing...blogger!

The end.

This and That...

Countdown to ze baiday in 1..2..3...
Did I mention that I plan to do absolutely NADA? Everyone is like 'whachu got planned for the day' and I'm like 'errrr...nothing'. Hmm hmm, make the weekend come fest.

Currently feeling very uninspired maaaan. I have this fantasy of quitting my J-O-B and moving across the country. Make I follow the Nike slogan and 'Just do it' abi? Then again, while I can be very spontaneous, e get as this one be. I have to have a plan B before I even start any shenanigans.

Grad School. To go or not to go. I used to swear on the hair of my chinny chin, that I wouldn't go to grad school. Luckily, in my field of work...your professional license/certification is what matters, and not an advanced degree. Lately I've been kinda sorta re-thinking it. Let me just say that I'm seriously on the fence with this one. I applied and got into a program; but now I'm like 'Do I really wanna do this?'...so I'm going to defer my admission till the Spring semester while I attempt to figure out what the heck I wanna do with my life. I used to swear that even if I went to Grad school, it certainly would not be for an MBA but now that I've been seeing a couple of job descriptions with the line...'MBA preferred' and I'm like hmmmm.

Yes, I am certainly experiencing some sort of crisis. Do they have therapists for these kind of things? It's only so much whining that you can do to your friends before they start singing 'heard it all before.....'. *sigh*

I have not done a lick of work today. Bad, bad me!

Blogsville reminds me of college days. You know how you start out and you're friends with everyone. Then over the years, you drop some friends, you meet new ones and of course you have the tried and true ones who stuck with you from freshman year to senior year. Eventually people graduate and move on to other things and the college welcomes the new freshmen who are set for world domination. :-)
Well, that's blogsville for you. Started out reading folk/being read by some...as time passed, I lost interest in some, just as they lost interest in me and in the same vein, I still read some of the original people that I started out reading...just as they still read me and of course, the older bloggers seem to have 'graduated' therefore making room for the brilliant writers who are new to blogsville a.k.a 'freshmen'. Woohooo...
Speaking of 'freshmen', gotta say one of my new faves is 48 (Link included for your viewing pleasure)...I certainly enjoy reading her.

Switched up the template a teeny weeny bit. Word on the street was that some folk had to highlight the entire page in order to read. Is this better? I don't always aim to please so consider this to be some sort of Xmas bonus (in advance)...teeheehee.

I have a lot of thinking to do...
Have a good weekend y'all. Keep it safe.

PS:- Are we seriously still talking about this Gates vs. Crowley case? *smh*...I hope that after the 'beer summit' tonight, all man can finally hear word.

5 is the lucky number...

5 things that I would like to do:

1. Take a vacation to a foreign land with me, myself and I. I’d explore the destination, meet the locals and enjoy lots of me-time.
2. Learn how to DJ. I’d really love to do this but I need to shadow someone first…any DJ’s wanna give a sister a lesson? I even have my DJ name already picked out. :-D
3. Learn how to drive a stick shift. I started this, and got too impatient so I gave up.
4. Move to New York City.
5. Be a flight attendant in my second life.
   

5 things that I look forward to:

1. Weekends.
2. Getting my magazine subscriptions in the mail.
3. Trips to the library.
4. Any opportunity to shop.
5. Any opportunity to travel.

5 things that I’d grab if my apartment caught fire:

1. My passport.
2. My blackberry.
3. My laptop.
4. My handbag; it’ll have most of my essentials.
5. Can my closet count as one item? LOL!

5 random things about me:

1. I know the numbers to my debit and credit cards offhand + my bank account # and routing # to one of my accounts. When I pay bills/place orders over the phone and online I recite from memory.
2. I think I must be the only person on earth who doesn’t have a TV show. If it ain't CNN or shows that are already up onDemand i.e my new love of Dexter (Also watched the entire seasons of the Wire, Capadocia), then I don’t watch. When people rave about shows like Gossip girl, ER, House etc etc …I’m like ???
3. If you haven’t guessed already, I’m a huge grammar Nazi. Ha Ha Ha!
4. Who said sleep is for the weak? Sleeping is one of my favorite things to do.
5. I HATE drinking water. I once went for weeks surviving on soda and juice. These days I make myself chug at least 1.5L of water on a daily basis to maintain my skin/healthy lifestyle. Ugh!

5 things that I’m wearing right now:

1. Black floral print dress.
2. Red pumps
3. Bath & body works exotic coconut perfume. (Very yummy)
4. Black wig :-D
5. Purple bra. (Don’t side eye me…I ran out of ideas!)

There you have it. 5 things in a nutshell...My own meme! It's copy written. :-D
I tag whoever is in the mood to do a lazy post/just for fun post.

Random:
Black in America 2 was pretty good. Like I said after watching part 1, I didn't quite know what to expect but I definitely enjoyed watching yesterday's show. Steve Perry certainly impressed me...