I googled my ex...

I randomly thought about him today and decided to google him...

…and I found his wedding website. He is getting married VERY soon. To her. For a split second, I thought hmmmph! Not her of all people. She will freaking run into me one day and gloat like she won and I lost. For a split second, I sulked about it and harrumphed about it. And then the moment passed…

But then, I got to wondering…what if I hadn’t seen what I saw that warm summer day a couple of years ago? I might never have had a reason to confront him and who knows, maybe we would be the ones walking down the aisle too.
You see, I can confidently say that he fell into the ‘top 3’ in my best boyfriend category.He was caring, attentive, full of surprises, encouraging, always with a listening ear, had a nice sense of humor, definitely not hard on the eyes at all, sexy, very smart etc etc. I mean, he fit am well well o.

He gave me butterflies and he made me happy and to me, all was well in my world until that warm summer day some years ago, when I saw what I saw. The hard core evidence was enough proof for even the dumbest woman on the planet, and after I confronted him about it…I packed my load and was O-U-T. It was a tough choice, and a hard decision and in retrospect sometimes I would ask myself why I walked away from someone who was so good to me, especially after all that I seemed to run into post-him was a bunch of stupid ass men. But please…my mama taught me well. No man is worth that BS, no matter how ‘good’ he appears to be so I chalked it up to a ‘whatever’ and kept on living.

I kept my distance for a good while until he randomly emailed me one random day about 1.5 years later. I responded and said ‘Hmmm, what warrants this random email o you blast from the past’ and he said something along the lines of ‘he hadn’t forgotten about me, and couldn’t even if he tried’. It was still a ‘whatevs’ from me. I certainly wasn’t trying to entertain any blasts from the pasts. From then on, we’d talk very randomly and one day he called me and told me that he and her had gotten back together, said he’d ultimately like to thank me for opening his eyes (because the stuvvs that I saw that warm sunny day all related to her; she who had an untouchable mark and history in his life that I could never have tried to hold a torch to).
Said after I bounced from the relationship, he realized that he was still in love with her and so he decided to rekindle things with her. On a contradictory note, he wistfully added that he felt I had rudely interrupted what we had when it had major potential to grow into something big, and how I’m such a wonderful woman blahblahblah. I thanked him, congratulated him and wished him well…
What’s a woman to do?

We didn’t speak again until I ran into him at this wedding... 3 exes and a wedding
and The reception . I had no idea he was going to be there, with her of all people but upon seeing them together I knew that it was officially official and hey! I’m only human…I felt slight resentment for them…her…him. At this stage, I had no idea that they were engaged…until I happened to get word of it on the street and it was really like wow!
Since then, we haven't spoken to each other.

So ummm…yeah, they are tying the knot pretty soon and save for my fleeting second of hmming and haaaing, it really is all good. I know that they will be very happy together, no doubt and I wish them the very best. Ultimately, I am happy that I saw what I saw on that warm summer day…they say that everything happens for a reason and I believe that. Ex + his wifey are meant to be, and if I hadn’t found out then, I surely would have found out later. Their history is untouchable.

As for me, I’ll simply add this to the archives of stories that I will tell my daughters when they grow up and start to experience life and it's ups and downs. Such is life! :-D

My 'first love'

...is getting married.
Wow! He is getting married.
I put first love in quotes 'cos at 17, was it really love? Well...whatever it was, it was niiice. That kind of good feeling that had me randomly cheesing at random hours of the day, counting down the hours till we could see again, my heart skipping when we finally got to see. Ooooh weee, it was nice indeed. It's not often that a man inspires such feelings in my 'cold, cold' heart. :-D

I remember when we first 'met'. Again, I put met in quotes because it was more like me and my friend (Let's call her Amina) saw him walking down the street one day and we were like 'who is that? he kinda cute'.
We had done some research and found that he was the new dude around town, his name was 'boo-boo' and he went to X school. LOL @ our stalking ways. But that's all we knew about his mystery cutie.
And that's how it was...we'd always see him walking down the street and all but he never said nothing. I thought he was snobbish, but when I got to know him I realized that he was just a shy guy...my kinda guy. lol...


I was a shy girl too. So before we even said hi to each other, we had something in common. I was uncomfortable interacting with men on that level, and for most of my teen years I had always been the guys girl rather than the girl that the guys wanted to date. If you wanted the girl that the guys wanted to date, the hot one who everyone wanted her digits, then you were looking at my friend; Amina.
So one day when Amina suddenly told me that my boo boo was always checking her out when he walked past her on the roads and that she had a hunch he was feeling her, I didn't question it. It was nothing new. I was dissappointed but I attributed it to those of those things in life and mentally backed off.

I'd always see boo boo around town and dream from a distance...but that was that.

Life went on, a year or 2 went by. We (we being the class of that year; which included Amina and boo boo) graduated from secondary school and everyone started making moves. Amina got admitted to a uni abroad and she left town. I had no idea what boo boo was up to 'cos his sightings were pretty sporadic, and as for me...I had gotten admission to a uni in Naija; thanks to my sweet SSCE and JAMB scores and I was ready to rock uni and be one hot jambite. :-D

Uni was fun, uni was sweet, uni was nice! Till today, I still miss the good ol' days I had in my Naija uni. Good times, I tell ya...but that's beside the point.
Like I was saying, Uni was fun and I was having a good time. I had started getting over my social awkwardness around men and I was getting chyked and toasted like no man's business.
I hadn't been there for up to one month when one hot sunny day, me and my other jambito friends were sitting in front of the engineering building checking out the cuties when lo and behold, who did I see? My beloved boo-boo. Ooooh weeeeeee! I was sooo excited.
My boo-boo was on my campus and I wasn't going to let him slip by. (Keep in mind that he and Amina never had nothing o, all she claimed was that he was using eye to look her way, so I figured he was fair game)

I immediately went up to where I had spotted him and I said 'Hey! I didn't know you went here..'. He was equally as surprised to see me. He remembered me! He smiled this really sexy smile that made my 17 year old self wanna swoon hard and said 'Hey, I remember you from xxx'. That absolutely made my day...I mean I thought I had paled in comparison to Amina but he remembered me dammit!

...And that's how it began. We'd see around campus and make small talk and then one day he offered to give me a ride home. Ahhh at 17, no man could be pulling up into my father's driveway o but cat dammit if this wasn't a risk that I was prepared to take. He drove me home and that day I was so thankful for the ridiculous traffic that is typical in Naija 'cos it gave us even more time to talk and get to know each other well well. I learned that he had gone to x secondary school, he was the first child, he had 3 siblings, we had a bunch of mutual friends...ehn I learned a lot o! And in turn I shared that I was the last kiddie, my sec. school etc etc.
When he dropped me off he asked for my number and chei! that was risk #2 o...'cos them no born you well to be calling my house anyhow if you are a dude but I was like to hell with that. This was my boo boo right there, I was prepared to take risks for him.

We stared talking every day! Unfailingly.
We'd also meet on campus and have lunch, dinner, hang out...whatever. I was really feeling this boo boo of mine sha. One day during one of our numerous convos, he admitted that the first time he saw me, he wanted to find out who I was but was too shy to approach me. I was like 'me ke? I thought it was Amina you were chooking eye for'. He was like 'Huh?'..Ok so long tori short, boo boo mi wasn't chooking eye for Amina. Even though this was like 1.5 years after the fact it still tickled me and made me blush. :-D

So, me and boo boo were loving our selves well well o. In fact I was even planning to move onto campus soon and I couldn't wait 'cos it would give us even more freedom to flengo well well. (Abeg, it was innocent flengo-ing o...i was just 17 o jare!).
We were the cheesiest couple. He'd do sweet things like dedicate songs to me and what not. Typing this, I am giggling thinking about how cheesy and cute we were.

But as we all know...most of the time, all good things come to an end. And the beginning of our end came when one day I went home and my parents announced that I was coming to start Uni Yankee in a couple of months. It was very bittersweet news...I mean at that point who no wan come Yankee? Most of my friends that I grew up with had come to these parts but on the other hand, I was having such a great time in uni with my new friends, bubbling and shuffling and abeg lets not forget the main factor; my boo-boo. Chei, I was sad...

I broke the news to boo-boo the next day and it was such a sad moment. I told him 'Boo boo keep your head up, you still have me for another 2 months, let's make the best of it'. And that was exactly what we did. We were inseperable...
Looking back, I don't know how I got away with having a boyfriend at 17 under my parents noses 'cos they never suspected jack! My older sister knew the deal tho but that's my heart...she didn't rat her darling lil sis out. In fact, she liked boo boo sef..
I mean 'cos like dang I did some jackie chan stunts sha. Some nights boo boo and I would be on my father's phone till 2 in the morning. Chei, can you imagine if daddy had caught me? Na serious hot slap wey I for chop that day o! *Phewww*

Boo boo and I enjoyed the last days of each other's company but it was always tinged with a hint of sadness. I still remember the day before I left town...we spent the a bulk of the day together enjoying each others company and not saying much. That day I stayed out with him till like 10pm (which by my father's standards was LATE) but I was like whatever jo, that was my last day in town and I was gonna say bye to all my friends; which I did and then reserved the best for last which was hanging with boo boo darl.

Coming out here to a different and strange land, I missed boo boo even more. We emailed each every day and we'd say how much we missed each other and all that sweet, mushy stuff. I even printed all his emails out and I'd read them randomly. (Was I sprung or what?)
Come of think of it, I still have them stored in some of my keepsake boxes...I should re-read for old times sake yeah?

But man, there's only so much that terms of endearment via the internet can do to sustain a relationship between an 18 and a 17 year old. We were young and pretty unrealistic thinking that it would last. One day, I went to the library to read and print my daily boo boo email and he had sent me an email talking about he met someone and would like my permission to move forward with her. That day, I cried ehn! (Damn, maybe I was sprung)...but I no go lie, it pained me well well. I replied and said yes boo boo, go with this chick and be happy...and that was the 'end' of boo boo and I.

He still emailed me. I still emailed him but he had a girl in his life now. I was now second place and second place sucked! I got sick of feeling pangs of envy every time I thought of boo boo with his new chick while me I just dey freeze for the American cold and I kinda sorta gave him some space and stopped replying his emails for a while until I got over him and it.

I went back to Naija a couple of times after that and boo boo and I would always hang. We always had our chemistry and I always wished he was a cheaper plane ticket closer to me and vice versa but ah well...
We remained friends, we are still friends and we spontaneously email each other when the mood hits.

Sooo, in our random communication thing that we currently do, I sent him a happy holidays email and he replied me saying that he misses me and there is so much gist for us to catch up on. The numero uno item on the email was 'I am getting married, so please make plans to be there'.
I was shocked, I mean I knew he was seeing someone but I didn't know it had reached that level...

Ultimately, I am very happy for boo boo dearest. I think that his wife will be a very lucky woman, and I am happy that I met him in my lifetime...the 7 months of the young love we were doing was nothing but bliss. I always proudly boast that I have never been in love but in retrospect, the feelings that I had for boo boo was definitely more than an elevated feeling of likeness. It was sweeet! It was niice and I want to experience that again. Somehow, I haven't met a man who made me that sprung but maybe it's 'cos I'm older now, more experienced and I have more walls up around this precious heart of mine.

So, to boo boo and his upcoming nuptials. *Takes a mental shot of patron*, I wish him the very very best and at the same time, I say:- Another good one has been taken off the market.

Happy Holidays people. Wishing you'se lot a very wunnerful new year in advance and I pray that the '09 will see all of you alive, well, happy and healthy.

*Muah*

3 exes and a wedding.

That day I knew that someone up there must have been cracking up at my expense....

The day was a nice spring-ish day. My friend's sister was getting married and she asked me to be in the bridal train. I agreed. Free dress, free accesories, all I had to do was just show up. I imagined it would be a pretty uneventful wedding as per I didn't expect to know anyone there. Uneventful my right foot.
Oh it started out uneventful enough. Ya know the deal..walked down the aisle and played my role as one of the cute bridesmaid. Time for church to be over and us folks to walk out na...I'm walking out and I dey use my side eye to scan the crowd small and who do I see sitting right there at the end of the aisle shining his 32? Ex #1. I almost tripped in surprise, but I played it off pretty nicely. I mean..I was surprised. What was he doing there? He doesn't even live anywhere close to my hood.
So brushing that off and making a mental note to catch up with him later, we got outside and pretty much were standing around waiting for the part where we whore ourselves out for the cameras so that the lovely couple could have a bunch of beautiful pictures to show thier kiddies and grandkiddies, and who taps me on my shoulder? Ex #2. Side note:- Technically, I don't consider him to be an ex, we never had a relationship per say. Sure he was trying to holla and we went on a couple of dates but for purposes of making this tori sweet pass, I go call am Ex #2.
But back to the tori...
*Gasp*I immediately went into catch-up mode..Gave him a big hug (I hadn't seen him in like what? 1 year or so?) OMG, what are you going here, it's been ages blahblahblah. He told me that he moved to another city. I said wow! So you came to spend time with family? He said nope, that he came with his wife who happened to be someone's cousin.
Hold-up! Did I just hear what I thought I heard? Wi gini?
'Whaaaat? Did you just say wife?'He smirked at me and said 'I sure did' and then proceeded to turn around and point her out. Of course she was hovering somewhere real close to. I mean, I don' blame her. When you see some chick all enthusiastically gushing over your hubby, you best get into that FBI mode...young trifling hoochies of nowadays..LOL!I was in shock but I quickly remembered to take a step or 2 back. Married men have always been a no-no and I promise y'all I was just being friendly. Hehehehehe....
We exchanged a few more catch-up tidbits and I quickly found my square root and told him I'd catch up with him later.
In retrospect, I think he was all too happy to point his wife out seeing that I made some serious shakara for him when he used to toast me. Hahahahaha!

Meanwhile we still had Ex #1 that I had to go say hello to o. I mean..what was he doing there? It was a little intermission/mix and mingle thing while the wedding folk set up the reception hall and there was a bunch of people standing around and mingling. I made a beeline for the people carrying suya around on trays and armed with my 2 sticks of suya, I was on a mission to find that Ex of mine.
As I made my way through the all the girls posing in corners with thier short dresses and the guys posing against walls checking the ladies out, my eye fell on him, him, HIM. I repeat, someone up there was cracking the heck up at my expense. WTF was HE of ALL people doing here? Him being Ex #3. I pinched myself and took a big bite of suya hoping that I was hallucinating but no o..pinches and suya no gree for me. I sho as heck wasn't seeing things. It was Ex #3. Mind you I hadn't seen ol' dude in like what? 3 years or so? Last time I checked he lived in another hood and apart from our random catch-up convos now and then, I didn't know much of what was going on with him. I guess he could feel my eyes boring into his being 'cos he turned around and saw me.
*Activate catch-up mode*
Hoh Hem Gee. Fancy this... I said. He was like indeed, it's been what? how many years?
I asked him who he knew and he said the groom and him had gone to Law school together. Shoulda figured that was the connect. Meanwhile from the corner of my eye, I noticed some chick hovering in the background. Close enough for me to know that they came together so I kinda gave her a pointed stare and he was like 'Oh yeah, meet my fiance ****'
Fia whaaaaaat? Oh Jesus. I need a glass of water.
But I quickly composed myself and put my gameface on. 'You're kidding...you? You're engaged?'He was like 'Yeah, yeah... a lot of things have changed'. They shoooooo have. I mean throughout the time that we dated, he always insisted that he would NEVER get married and was damn serious about it. So me kwa, I figured ish wouldn't come to much and peaced out only to come and find out that Ol' boy don engage himself finish. Ewooooo! Yep, things don changed indeed.
But aniwoos back to my tori...I made nice with the fiance, made small talk with both of them and for the second time that day, found my square root. My mind was spinning...Looking back now, that was one funny day!
But yo, it wasn't over o. That person up there wasn't over and done with the jokes. Just when I thought that I was finally digesting all the info and getting used to being in the same space with 3 exes and 2 significant others, who do I run into? The much sought after ex #1...and no, there was no woman hovering in the background 'cos trust me I did a quick scan. We hi-hi'ed it up. (I had seen him within the last 12 months or so, so I didn't have to go too much into the catch up mode). Asked him what he was doing at the wedding, caught up on some random gist and I promised to catch up with him later.
So I walked out and was chilling with my homegirls in the cut, you know staying out of the way of the 'razzi's and all that media attention when I noticed him walk around my way with a woman on his arm. Oh I was all eyes and ears (UnderG of course)...he walked over to the group of girls standing behind us and introduced her.
'Meet Estelle** (For purposes of this tori)
I stood very still for that nano-second as I quickly put 2 and 2 together.
Estelle? That same Estelle? No really, the same Estelle?? WOW! No blame am o, her role in the interruption of me and him was pretty innocent and in retro, they had wayyyyyyyy too much history for me to even try to hold a torch to alladat. I mean, they are married now....But wow, that was the final straw for me and at that point I really did take a time out session to escape somewhere and down a tall, cool, glass of H2O while I asked the person up there if he/she had any more jokes up thier sleeve.

I mean damn! The reception hadn't even started yet....