If you know me, you will know that I am CONSTANTLY crying about my state of internal disorganization. If you check the dictionary for the word 'Procrastinator', you will see my picture beside it.
I blogged about my constant state of organized chaos a while back and I got some good suggestions on how to change things but did I implement any of them? Nope.
I know the solutions, I've been told a million times but the process of actually hopping into bed and attempting to catch 8 hours of sleep, drinking my required 8 glasses of H2O and eating healthy, nutritious meals and mastering the art of effective time management is much harder than you think.
I actually envy people who appear to have it together and everyday I wish that I was more organized.
Well, that has to change sooner than later.
I mean...I had to take a step back and analyze the situation well well and ask myself a couple of questions.
-Why do I get these frequent headaches? Duhhh, 'cos I only get about 6 hours of sleep max + bad nutrition.
-Why did I go back to square one after all my hard work from gyming earlier on this year paid off? Because I haven't bought groceries in Lord knows how long and when a girl can't even gather enough time to cook some nice home cooked meals, and the typical breakfasts, lunches and dinners consist of take out, fast foods and a whole bunch of processed unhealthy ish...how won't it start to reflect on my body and my skin? Not to mention my wallet...
-Why do I need a SKINTERVENTION asap? Once again, duhhhh. The poor nutrition + lack of enough sleep + I can't remember the last time I drank water.
-Why can't I schedule time to get this oil change done? I mean, I could do it on a Saturday but I'm too busy catching up on all the sleep that I've been missing out on during the week days.
-Why do I feel so tired and unmotivated during the day? Back to the sleep thing. I mean, how do celebrities do it? What the heck do I be doing up at 2am in the morning sef? It's not as if I'm even doing love talk and slow jams with a man sef. Mchewwww...
-Why do I constantly feel so stressed out? Lack of effective time management!
-Why are my relatives mad at me for not keeping in touch like I should? It all ties back to the time management thing + the constant feeling of stress. Every chance to enjoy some 'me time' is treasured and lately I've been screening a bunch of calls like whoa and then I procrastinate on calling them back...Gosh, I have 12 voicemails to check. Who procrastinates on checking their voice mail?
These are just a few of the questions that I asked myself.
What can I do to implement some kind of change?
1. I can limit my internet usage. I spend way too much of my personal time on the internet...on these chat things, constantly checking emails, reading blogs, commenting on blogs...the whole 9 yards. I could be doing other things like reading more books, watching more TV, studying for the GMAT as I've belatedly decided to go the grad school route (so that my bride price can be higher *winks*), sleeping and even getting around to checking those voice mails and returning those calls.
2. I can create a to-do list and 'tackle plan'.
3. I can modify my lifestyle i.e switch up my work hours a bit so that I go in earlier, get home earlier and have more time to my self (thankfully, we are blessed with the flex. work schedule at the J-O-B), attempt to get more sleep and generally live a better and more efficient lifestyle.
Just a few solutions which I intend to implement. Wish me luck!
And on that note, my current job assignment location limits access to all the 'fun' websites i.e Blogger, Facebook and such things so unfortunately, I'm unable to check out this site for a good chunk of that day and frankly speaking, after work/post work commitments I'm just too tired to even attempt to make rounds. Please no vex o...I still love you guys, and I will drop by whenever I can. Na me and una for this side of the internet oooo. :-D
P.S:- ProudPrick, whoever you are...dude, you are HEELARIOUS. Ha Ha Ha!
Make I sha waka ooo. Till we jam again nah!
G'nite.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
The bride price formula...
This past weekend I: Sat on my bed and finished a mini tub of Edy's Drumstick Icecream...all 1000+ calories of it, watched 3 movies- I love you man, Obsessed (TOTAL waste of my brain cells) & Confessions of a Shopaholic, Hit up Barnes & Noble for some material, went shopping for household goods and watched the VMAs yesternite while I stalked all the FB statuses about Kanye's foolish behavior and Lady Gaga's madness. That woman needs Jesus but I absolutely love it! Lmao
How was your weekend?
PS:- I STILL need a personal masseuse on call 24/7.
PPS:- I have found a new blog boo...David someboribobo (That is how I read his name and I kid you not), the man can bake meatpie. Need I say more? (He doesn't know that he's taken yet, but he is...all husband snatchers should instantly take note and back off)
Speaking of which...A man who knows how to cook = An asset. I gosta teach my sons how to cook o...I will insist that they come into the kitchen and watch me throw down so that when they grow up women will not be making shakara for them + for each dish that they can make, the amount of brideprice that they will pay will decrease. Abi now... :-D
Oh y'all aint know that I have my brideprice formula? Aight...let me edumacate somebody up in this piece.
Mgbeke's Official Brideprice Calculator:
Now, for my dudes...make una heart no beat too fast as una don analyze this my list. I trust say some of una don observe this list, plan on how you go waka home and break up with your long term girlfriend of 4 years as per you no wan collect cardiac arrest on top of paying bride price. Abeg o, chill first...I no send una. When dem send Shekpe on top ya head, you go tok say na Mgbeke cause am.
Calm your beating hearts down 'cos I gotchu! The bride price wey una fit pay go reduce if and only if:
So *ahem*...it's not too late guys...go and learn how to cook. And if you are in any kind of Major where every Christmas, you visit Nigeria and someone asks you 'Chinedu what are you studying' and you have to engage in a 10 minute conversation in an attempt to explain what the heck you are studying then I suggest that you drop out of school and re-enroll with a career path in Medicine...(it might cost you $1M in student loans, but you will save a substantial amount of money on the bride price..LMAO), plus...when you go to Nigeria and they ask you 'Chinedu, what are you studying?'...you can proudly puff out your chest and simply answer 'Medicine' while you watch for the appreciative glint that will suddenly appear in the asker's eyes.
Thank me later.
The end.
How was your weekend?
PS:- I STILL need a personal masseuse on call 24/7.
PPS:- I have found a new blog boo...David someboribobo (That is how I read his name and I kid you not), the man can bake meatpie. Need I say more? (He doesn't know that he's taken yet, but he is...all husband snatchers should instantly take note and back off)
Speaking of which...A man who knows how to cook = An asset. I gosta teach my sons how to cook o...I will insist that they come into the kitchen and watch me throw down so that when they grow up women will not be making shakara for them + for each dish that they can make, the amount of brideprice that they will pay will decrease. Abi now... :-D
Oh y'all aint know that I have my brideprice formula? Aight...let me edumacate somebody up in this piece.
Mgbeke's Official Brideprice Calculator:
- The woman sabi cook (Let's add $5,000)
- If she sabi cook more complex dishes that transcend beyond the typical Egusi, Jollof Rice...i.e Isi ewu aka Goat head, Ugba aka African salad, Ofe Owerri and even international dishes for some diversity (We go add an additional $5,000)
- Can she bake? (Extra $5,000)
- Does she have a Bachelors degree? ($5,000)
- What kind of degree did she get? If it's something random like Early Childhood education (We no go add moni...abeg my ECE majors no stone me abeg :-D), Anything in the business field ($5,000...make it $10,000 for Accounting and Finance...LOL), Engineering, Computer Science and 'em techie stuvvs ($15,000)
- Does she have a Masters degree? Double the amount for all the categories...if na Law school we go triple am and if na Med school, we will triple am + 1 Hummer and 1 Ferrari each for both parents. Is it a beans to go to Med school?
- How exposed/well traveled is she? If her idea of taking an annual vacation is going to the Nigerian Reunion on a yearly basis...we no go add moni. If she has been to a variety of places/been exposed to a bunch of cultures...we go add an additional $3,000
- For every additional language that she can speak apart from English, we go add $2,000 each...after all even in the Corporate world, it is an asset for one to be bi-lingual. PS:- For such purposes, Pidgin = A Language. Lmao!
Now, for my dudes...make una heart no beat too fast as una don analyze this my list. I trust say some of una don observe this list, plan on how you go waka home and break up with your long term girlfriend of 4 years as per you no wan collect cardiac arrest on top of paying bride price. Abeg o, chill first...I no send una. When dem send Shekpe on top ya head, you go tok say na Mgbeke cause am.
Calm your beating hearts down 'cos I gotchu! The bride price wey una fit pay go reduce if and only if:
- Can you cook? If so, we go reduce the woman's bride price by $2,000. So in the end na $3,000 wey you fit pay. You still gosta pay moni because odds are that the woman will take up majority of the cooking in the marriage so you gosta pay moni for that sweat wey she go sweat on top the hot stove.
- Can you cook the complex dishes mentioned above? If so, we go reduce the bride price by $1,000.
- Do you have a Bachelor's degree? *Ahem*...we shall only reduce the B.P if you majored in the sciences/techie/some areas of business so abeg if na Psychology, the above mentioned Early Childhood education, Social work and such fields...in fact we go even add an additional $5,000 on top the Bride price wey you go pay because it is absolutely NOT manly for you to go to school and not major in Medicine, Law, Engineering, Accounting or Computer Science. LMAO. *Tongue in cheek*
- Masters/Advanced degree? We go reduce am too and if you go Med school/Law school and are guaranteed a starting salary of at least $200,000/year (after residency and such things), then we go cancel out the entire bride price wey you suppose pay sef and na we wey go come pack dowry on top your head...after all as women, we are encouraged to chase down the dokitas so that we can live in a nice big house with a white fence, send our kids to private schools only and drive the 2020 Mercedez Benz wey you go park for garage. *Winks*
- Are you well traveled and bi-lingual? We go negotiate with the village heads and come to a decision on how much we wan reduce the bride price we you go pay.
So *ahem*...it's not too late guys...go and learn how to cook. And if you are in any kind of Major where every Christmas, you visit Nigeria and someone asks you 'Chinedu what are you studying' and you have to engage in a 10 minute conversation in an attempt to explain what the heck you are studying then I suggest that you drop out of school and re-enroll with a career path in Medicine...(it might cost you $1M in student loans, but you will save a substantial amount of money on the bride price..LMAO), plus...when you go to Nigeria and they ask you 'Chinedu, what are you studying?'...you can proudly puff out your chest and simply answer 'Medicine' while you watch for the appreciative glint that will suddenly appear in the asker's eyes.
Thank me later.
The end.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I am not a Man-Hater
You know, when people started accusing me of being a male hater/male basher, I used to brush it off and say 'yeah right, me ke?'. But lately, I’ve been getting that a lot… ‘I read some of your FB comments on certain topics, you are such a man hater’, ‘Why do you bash men so much?’, ‘You come off as such a feminist nazi’…Man hater. Male Basher. Feminist nka nka…na wa o!Last weekend, there was the typical men are from mars/women are from venus discussion and my friend actually came to grab me, talkin’ about… ‘Are you guys looking for a man hater to state her opinion? Here she is...’ or something like that. I mean like, shuooooo. LOL, I know not what they speak of ‘cos I am INNOCENT.
Hehehehehe…I mean, a girl can’t even be out spoken about things and fly under the radar no more. Truth is…and I continue to issue this disclaimer:- I am NOT a man hater. The sight of men does not make my blood boil, I haven’t gone upside someone’s son’s head with a frying pan yet neither have I poured hot water on some poor man’s genitals so what are they talking about? I really and truly do not consider myself to be a man hater.
I mean…someone once asked me if a man had ever done me dirty in my lifetime and I replied and said ‘sorry to disappoint but I have no sob stories to share…’. Does a man have to do me dirty for me to call a man out when he’s being a pure and darn fool? *rolls eyes*
Granted, I admit that sometimes my approach can be a tad bit aggressive but that’s what you get when you are TRIFLING man parading around the face of this earth. I have no patience for y’all and I will continue to call you guys out on your foolishness. Just because I refuse to sit back and turn a blind eye to the madness don’t make me a man hater na. *Re-adjusts halo*
I remember when Steve McNair got kilt by his jumpoff and I texted one of my male friends expressing how I felt absolutely no ounce of sorrow for the man, and how I hoped that all married men would learn from such an unfortunate incident and hopefully keep their roving eyes and penises to themselves, and I tell you… ol’ boy caught a case o. Accused me of being a man hater, couldn’t believe how insensitive I was blahblahblahblah. Pssh…men, don’t get mad when I call y’all out and state the obvious. I’m not going to retire from my outspoken ‘male bashing’ ways sha o so everyone who thinks I’m a man hater should keep on thinking. :-D
Like one of my desk calendar quotes says… ‘When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch’. It is what it is...
And yes, it goes beyond trifling men…
There have been WAY too many of those men are from Mars/Women are from Venus types of discussions and I think I’ve just about heard all it is that men have to say and as always, I issue my counter argument/opinion. The various ‘dating do’s and don’ts’ and the knowledge that these species really think that they are dropping on a daily basis:
'Don’t buy a luxury car or a house, it will intimidate men'
'If you’ve been with more than 10 men, you’re a ho and no man will wanna marry you'
‘Men don’t like a woman who parties too much, you won’t be considered as wifey material’
'Go and learn how to cook. Men like a woman who can cook'
etc etc. P.S:- If I hear that ‘wifey material’ word one more time, I will scream.
Uh uh, it’s a man’s world…or so they say but I’m one woman who will continue to state her opinion in this man’s world. And let me state this opinion real quick...
PSA to my men: The existence and sole purpose of women on earth is not to be married off to you, get knocked up with your 5 children and cook all your meals. We too have lives to live, places to go and things to do. We will not put our lives on hold and turn into boring stagnant stepford mickfricks all in the name of being considered 'wifey material'...imma need y'all to get with the program and save the darn rules and regulations for your sister or something.
The absolutely heelarious thing is that these culprits end up marrying women who are the complete opposite of who they swore made up the ideal wifey...the man who swore on the head of his bear bear that he would not wife a 'double digit ho' will marry a 100 count prostitute and in the end, who will the joke be on?
Seriously, it really does get my goat how these dudes think that we ladies are sitting around waiting desperately to be scooped up. A woman can’t even have standards no more without y’all coming at us with the ‘You are 30, your mates are married…be there feeling picky’. Excuse you? Who sent out the memo that 30 was the cut off age? And who told your 5’6, broke, living with your momma at age 30 azz that any 30 year old fabulous woman would EVER give you the time of the day in this world or the next even if you were the last man on planet Earth? There is more to us than our vajayjays, our cooking skills, our so called submissive attitude and everything that you consider to be qualities desired in the so called wifey material. It is absofrigginlutely ridiculous!
How do I hear a man spew a senseless comment like ‘Men will cheat, it’s a man’s world…you women need us anyway’ and sit back and let the foolishness slide? When I tell the man that don’t nobody need his foolish self for shishi and I can do bad all by myself, he calls me a man hater. Hellooo, how do I even get with a fool like that? Abeg o...make all man know their levels.
Ok Ok, I just realized that I’m totally NOT doing a great job trying to convince anyone that I’m really not a man hater am I? LMAO. I mean what I’m really trying to say is…Argh! I give up…lol. But…like I said, I, the Original Mgbeke do not hate men. In fact, every man on earth should appreciate my outspoken ways sef. Trust that I will never fail to keep you my darlings in check. :-D
*Blows kisses to any man who happens to read this*. LMAO.
Hehehehehe…I mean, a girl can’t even be out spoken about things and fly under the radar no more. Truth is…and I continue to issue this disclaimer:- I am NOT a man hater. The sight of men does not make my blood boil, I haven’t gone upside someone’s son’s head with a frying pan yet neither have I poured hot water on some poor man’s genitals so what are they talking about? I really and truly do not consider myself to be a man hater.
I mean…someone once asked me if a man had ever done me dirty in my lifetime and I replied and said ‘sorry to disappoint but I have no sob stories to share…’. Does a man have to do me dirty for me to call a man out when he’s being a pure and darn fool? *rolls eyes*
Granted, I admit that sometimes my approach can be a tad bit aggressive but that’s what you get when you are TRIFLING man parading around the face of this earth. I have no patience for y’all and I will continue to call you guys out on your foolishness. Just because I refuse to sit back and turn a blind eye to the madness don’t make me a man hater na. *Re-adjusts halo*
I remember when Steve McNair got kilt by his jumpoff and I texted one of my male friends expressing how I felt absolutely no ounce of sorrow for the man, and how I hoped that all married men would learn from such an unfortunate incident and hopefully keep their roving eyes and penises to themselves, and I tell you… ol’ boy caught a case o. Accused me of being a man hater, couldn’t believe how insensitive I was blahblahblahblah. Pssh…men, don’t get mad when I call y’all out and state the obvious. I’m not going to retire from my outspoken ‘male bashing’ ways sha o so everyone who thinks I’m a man hater should keep on thinking. :-D
Like one of my desk calendar quotes says… ‘When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch’. It is what it is...
And yes, it goes beyond trifling men…
There have been WAY too many of those men are from Mars/Women are from Venus types of discussions and I think I’ve just about heard all it is that men have to say and as always, I issue my counter argument/opinion. The various ‘dating do’s and don’ts’ and the knowledge that these species really think that they are dropping on a daily basis:
'Don’t buy a luxury car or a house, it will intimidate men'
'If you’ve been with more than 10 men, you’re a ho and no man will wanna marry you'
‘Men don’t like a woman who parties too much, you won’t be considered as wifey material’
'Go and learn how to cook. Men like a woman who can cook'
etc etc. P.S:- If I hear that ‘wifey material’ word one more time, I will scream.
Uh uh, it’s a man’s world…or so they say but I’m one woman who will continue to state her opinion in this man’s world. And let me state this opinion real quick...
PSA to my men: The existence and sole purpose of women on earth is not to be married off to you, get knocked up with your 5 children and cook all your meals. We too have lives to live, places to go and things to do. We will not put our lives on hold and turn into boring stagnant stepford mickfricks all in the name of being considered 'wifey material'...imma need y'all to get with the program and save the darn rules and regulations for your sister or something.
The absolutely heelarious thing is that these culprits end up marrying women who are the complete opposite of who they swore made up the ideal wifey...the man who swore on the head of his bear bear that he would not wife a 'double digit ho' will marry a 100 count prostitute and in the end, who will the joke be on?
Seriously, it really does get my goat how these dudes think that we ladies are sitting around waiting desperately to be scooped up. A woman can’t even have standards no more without y’all coming at us with the ‘You are 30, your mates are married…be there feeling picky’. Excuse you? Who sent out the memo that 30 was the cut off age? And who told your 5’6, broke, living with your momma at age 30 azz that any 30 year old fabulous woman would EVER give you the time of the day in this world or the next even if you were the last man on planet Earth? There is more to us than our vajayjays, our cooking skills, our so called submissive attitude and everything that you consider to be qualities desired in the so called wifey material. It is absofrigginlutely ridiculous!
How do I hear a man spew a senseless comment like ‘Men will cheat, it’s a man’s world…you women need us anyway’ and sit back and let the foolishness slide? When I tell the man that don’t nobody need his foolish self for shishi and I can do bad all by myself, he calls me a man hater. Hellooo, how do I even get with a fool like that? Abeg o...make all man know their levels.
Ok Ok, I just realized that I’m totally NOT doing a great job trying to convince anyone that I’m really not a man hater am I? LMAO. I mean what I’m really trying to say is…Argh! I give up…lol. But…like I said, I, the Original Mgbeke do not hate men. In fact, every man on earth should appreciate my outspoken ways sef. Trust that I will never fail to keep you my darlings in check. :-D
*Blows kisses to any man who happens to read this*. LMAO.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Haphazard Post-Labor Day Post...
...as I nurse a lack of sufficient sleep induced headache.
Hallo Blogworld. How was your Labor day holiday weekend (for my Yankee based folk?). I hope that it was filled with enough grilled burgers, sodas and all that good stuff.
I spent mine in the good ol' NJ/NYC. About time I returned since it was beginning to be quite sad how a self proclaimed NYC groupie like me hadn't visited in almost 1 year. 1 year ke? I mean, NY just dey for my backyard naaa.
But ahhh how I heart the city of New York. I kid you not, every time I visit, I start cheesing and I immediately feel like I'm at HOME. What is there to not love about NY? I mean...eventually you even gotta love the ridiculous crazies on the Subway and those infamous NY subway rats. I always say that your NYC experience aint complete until you encounter a subway rat. Forget what you saw in the Sex & The City movie. Hmmm, now to find the NYC based man who I can trick into marrying me and moving me out there since the job front doesn't seem to be working on the relocation tip. Hahahahaha...
On some book related yarns: Ok, I read 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' and my tearducts were absolutely dry...for those of you who swore that it would make me cry. Great book though. I am officially adding Mr. Hosseini to my list of favorite authors. Oooh and I got 'The thing around your neck' in the mail. Chimamanda is pure genius. PS:- I heard she got married 2 weeks ago in my hood. Why wasn't I alerted? I would have crashed the wedding in a very shameless manner. LOL...don't side eye me, that's my 'niggi' yo (although she doesn't know it yet). Ha Ha!
In the words of my favorite MochaHourGlass, I've been having some epiphanies and what not. Jesus take the Wheel. I just need some serious guidance and direction in my life right now, wooosahhh. Thank God for people who tirelessly hear you whine about the same topic over and over again and don't scream at you. LOL. :-)...no, really...Thank you!
Ultimately, I need to get it together and quit feeling so overwhelmed. (Which is what I kinda sorta feel right now), I think that I will be okay though. Amen to that!
My headache just moved to the right side of my brain. These headaches have been pretty frequent of late. Someone suggested that they might be migraines in the making? No idea. I need to adjust my sleep schedule. No scratch that, I need to adjust my LIFE schedule.
If someone asks me if I'm a moody individual, my instant response will be NO. In fact moody people even kinda sorta annoy me sef (when they can't keep their mood swings in check), or maybe I just don't know how to handle them. But lately I've been having a whole bunch of internalized mood swings and general hot and cold feelings towards things and people. So umm yeah, maybe on the outside I may appear to be 'constant' and on the inside it's 5 seconds into hot and a sudden switch into the 5 second chill. But maybe the whole thing about 'taking charge of your day and your emotions' appears to be working some 'cos these so called swings don't even last for up to 10 minutes before it's peace, love and happiness as usual. But still...why are they so constant? And why is everybody suddenly annoying? Now I'm rambling...
It's a Blackberry World Domination. My friend hosted a Labor day get together this weekend and I tell you, if there were 50 people at her crib, 40 of them had Blackberries. Ha Ha! 'What's your pin'...Blackberry holders, we are taking over and if you aint with the movement then you need to get with it before we rule the world. Muahahahahahahaha... *Evil grin*
PS:- Just discovered BrickBreaker and I'm an addict. Yes I am. I know, I know...I've owned my BB for almost a year and I'm just discovering Brickbreaker? Tsk Tsk.
Who in the world came up with this no white after Labor day rule? Ha Ha! I guess I'm about to break every rule in the fashion book with that one. As long as the weather is nice and warm, all white tops, bottoms and shoes in my closet. No be small thing.
Who comes up with these fashion rules sef?
Absolutely need to hop my azz into bed within the next coupla minutes. Grrrrrr, so not looking forward to resuming work tomorrow. My B-O-S-S is officially one modachoking wizard of a winsh. Bombastic individual. Na me and him for this America o, make the bobo n vex me too much 'cos I swear the kain African craze wey hin go see ehn. He finna be like 'these Angry Black Girls don did it again'. Just wait for me...recession or no recession. Ultimately hin suppose know say Khaki no be leather and if hin tok too much nonsense, we fit put leg inside one trousis. Shioooooooooo
Master plan = Effective!
I was alerted that my blog is filled with a whole bunch of rants...(I still say it aint so sha)...but even if it is so, isn't ranting on my blog better than calling my friends and constantly dropping rants to them on the phone? If I kept this up I can imagine that by week 3, someone would have sent my azz to Aro mental hospital abi I lie? I do enjoy a good ol' rant and blogsville is a good place to woosah and rant it all out. I can even rant about my winch of a wizard boss while his unsuspecting ass is in the same office as moi. :-D
I mean on the real, sometimes I be ranting about the fool to someone on the internet and he will come ask me a Q, and I answer it with my angelic demeanor intact. Ha Ha!
What do you reckon the average age on Blogger is? I've seen quite a number of bloggers on the 30+ end, and quite a number on the 18-19 end too. What say you?
And on that note, I am out.
If you could keep up with the randoms, kudos.
If you couldn't...never mind, I assume that you would have hit the nice red X by now.
I hope and pray that this week will be a better one for all of us. Say what you mean and mean what you say and ultimately remember to work hard, play hard and be kind (Coined from my Glamour Mag)
Good night and sweet dreams. See? Blogging is good for the soul...I feel better already.
PS:- Leggy, come and kneel and raise your hands. Who gave you permission to go private without my consent? Mchewwww.
Hallo Blogworld. How was your Labor day holiday weekend (for my Yankee based folk?). I hope that it was filled with enough grilled burgers, sodas and all that good stuff.
I spent mine in the good ol' NJ/NYC. About time I returned since it was beginning to be quite sad how a self proclaimed NYC groupie like me hadn't visited in almost 1 year. 1 year ke? I mean, NY just dey for my backyard naaa.
But ahhh how I heart the city of New York. I kid you not, every time I visit, I start cheesing and I immediately feel like I'm at HOME. What is there to not love about NY? I mean...eventually you even gotta love the ridiculous crazies on the Subway and those infamous NY subway rats. I always say that your NYC experience aint complete until you encounter a subway rat. Forget what you saw in the Sex & The City movie. Hmmm, now to find the NYC based man who I can trick into marrying me and moving me out there since the job front doesn't seem to be working on the relocation tip. Hahahahaha...
On some book related yarns: Ok, I read 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' and my tearducts were absolutely dry...for those of you who swore that it would make me cry. Great book though. I am officially adding Mr. Hosseini to my list of favorite authors. Oooh and I got 'The thing around your neck' in the mail. Chimamanda is pure genius. PS:- I heard she got married 2 weeks ago in my hood. Why wasn't I alerted? I would have crashed the wedding in a very shameless manner. LOL...don't side eye me, that's my 'niggi' yo (although she doesn't know it yet). Ha Ha!
In the words of my favorite MochaHourGlass, I've been having some epiphanies and what not. Jesus take the Wheel. I just need some serious guidance and direction in my life right now, wooosahhh. Thank God for people who tirelessly hear you whine about the same topic over and over again and don't scream at you. LOL. :-)...no, really...Thank you!
Ultimately, I need to get it together and quit feeling so overwhelmed. (Which is what I kinda sorta feel right now), I think that I will be okay though. Amen to that!
My headache just moved to the right side of my brain. These headaches have been pretty frequent of late. Someone suggested that they might be migraines in the making? No idea. I need to adjust my sleep schedule. No scratch that, I need to adjust my LIFE schedule.
If someone asks me if I'm a moody individual, my instant response will be NO. In fact moody people even kinda sorta annoy me sef (when they can't keep their mood swings in check), or maybe I just don't know how to handle them. But lately I've been having a whole bunch of internalized mood swings and general hot and cold feelings towards things and people. So umm yeah, maybe on the outside I may appear to be 'constant' and on the inside it's 5 seconds into hot and a sudden switch into the 5 second chill. But maybe the whole thing about 'taking charge of your day and your emotions' appears to be working some 'cos these so called swings don't even last for up to 10 minutes before it's peace, love and happiness as usual. But still...why are they so constant? And why is everybody suddenly annoying? Now I'm rambling...
It's a Blackberry World Domination. My friend hosted a Labor day get together this weekend and I tell you, if there were 50 people at her crib, 40 of them had Blackberries. Ha Ha! 'What's your pin'...Blackberry holders, we are taking over and if you aint with the movement then you need to get with it before we rule the world. Muahahahahahahaha... *Evil grin*
PS:- Just discovered BrickBreaker and I'm an addict. Yes I am. I know, I know...I've owned my BB for almost a year and I'm just discovering Brickbreaker? Tsk Tsk.
Who in the world came up with this no white after Labor day rule? Ha Ha! I guess I'm about to break every rule in the fashion book with that one. As long as the weather is nice and warm, all white tops, bottoms and shoes in my closet. No be small thing.
Who comes up with these fashion rules sef?
Absolutely need to hop my azz into bed within the next coupla minutes. Grrrrrr, so not looking forward to resuming work tomorrow. My B-O-S-S is officially one modachoking wizard of a winsh. Bombastic individual. Na me and him for this America o, make the bobo n vex me too much 'cos I swear the kain African craze wey hin go see ehn. He finna be like 'these Angry Black Girls don did it again'. Just wait for me...recession or no recession. Ultimately hin suppose know say Khaki no be leather and if hin tok too much nonsense, we fit put leg inside one trousis. Shioooooooooo
Master plan = Effective!
I was alerted that my blog is filled with a whole bunch of rants...(I still say it aint so sha)...but even if it is so, isn't ranting on my blog better than calling my friends and constantly dropping rants to them on the phone? If I kept this up I can imagine that by week 3, someone would have sent my azz to Aro mental hospital abi I lie? I do enjoy a good ol' rant and blogsville is a good place to woosah and rant it all out. I can even rant about my winch of a wizard boss while his unsuspecting ass is in the same office as moi. :-D
I mean on the real, sometimes I be ranting about the fool to someone on the internet and he will come ask me a Q, and I answer it with my angelic demeanor intact. Ha Ha!
What do you reckon the average age on Blogger is? I've seen quite a number of bloggers on the 30+ end, and quite a number on the 18-19 end too. What say you?
And on that note, I am out.
If you could keep up with the randoms, kudos.
If you couldn't...never mind, I assume that you would have hit the nice red X by now.
I hope and pray that this week will be a better one for all of us. Say what you mean and mean what you say and ultimately remember to work hard, play hard and be kind (Coined from my Glamour Mag)
Good night and sweet dreams. See? Blogging is good for the soul...I feel better already.
PS:- Leggy, come and kneel and raise your hands. Who gave you permission to go private without my consent? Mchewwww.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
An Interview with Muyiwa
Apparently, Muyiwa thought that I was cool enough to interview and so he did a quick one. Thanks a lot bro, I’m quite honored.
Check out the interview here and while you’re at it peek around his blog a lil. He's definitely on the grind in the Entertainment industry plus he has a really nice playlist that I enjoy listening to while I’m working.
And yes, this qualifies as a real update. Hehehehe….
Check out the interview here and while you’re at it peek around his blog a lil. He's definitely on the grind in the Entertainment industry plus he has a really nice playlist that I enjoy listening to while I’m working.
And yes, this qualifies as a real update. Hehehehe….
Thursday, August 27, 2009
A little stroll down memory lane...
Raise your hands if you were guilty of any of the above. :-D
-I remember growing up and my parents were on the strict side. Who born the maga wey wan collect boyfie at 15, 16? So when guys wanted to call me, I would tell them to call my house and ask for my brother, just in case my parents picked up the phone…so that if such a thing occurred, my bros would use style and pass the phone to me when they weren’t looking. Chei, one day my mama caught me sha o. Hahahahhaha…now it’s heelarious how she calls me now asking who the dudes in my life are. LMAO
-I remember when we used terms like ‘Omo that guy dey razzle me’, or that guy dey ‘chyke’ me. ‘Toasting’ still reigns though. Who dey toast una now oooo?
-I remember when guys used to put effort into ‘toasting’ babes. As in, dem go make arrangements to scoop you up, carry you to Mr. Biggs while you blushed over your meatpie and fanta and he would drop lyrics laik say nah hin be the reigning emcee on the block.
-I remember when the toasting stage would lead to the ‘asking out’ stage and as a bigz babez, you had to form o. There was no way a guy would ask you to be his girl and you would instantly reply with a ‘yes’. We always said…’let me think about it’, even though you know say you go marry am if hin propose sef. Of course you would use like 1-2 days to think about it while the bobo’s heart would be beating rapidly. Chai! In this day and age, do guys still ask women to be their girl sef? Hahahahahaha.
-And speaking of being toasted, I remember the goody bags that toasters would bring. I remember when I used to go to lesson and this toaster of mine brought a goody bag filled with cookies a.k.a biscuit, candy a.k.a sweets and chocolate, five alive etc etc and all my friends gathered around me oooh-ing and aah-ing and of course some people wanted to just join and chop the food. When I come tell the bobo say I no want, his friends called me oh talkin’ bout…’after all the money that he spent on you. He spent N700 to buy you those goodies’. LMAO…then N700 was a big deal sha o.
-I remember all those baffs that used to reign. Pedal pushers, elbow tops, hipsters, spaghetti strap…you name it! Kai, e get some babes wey dey operate on some strictly DIE HARD movement, as in dem go carry long sleeved top to the tailor make hin adjust am to instantly produce an elbow top. Voila! Or they would cut leggings into pedal pushers. Hahahaha…it’s quite funny how we were all so into the latest trends then and these days some people couldn’t care less.
-I remember when guys used to actually write love letters and some of those extra ones who would be singing on the phone. LMAO.
-I remember when we would go to parties and after a while they would turn off the light talking about ‘it’s time to dance blues’, and all we prudish babes would quickly go and find our seat, after all good girls like us did not dance blues with no guy. And for the girls that remained standing, we would gist about them the next day talking about… ‘That Nneka is a bad girl o! She was dancing serious blues with Tommy at that party…’. HahahahahaBut on the real, speaking of dancing…we used to maintain a safe distance will dancing, none of that backing up like they are sexing on the dancefloor type of steez that one sees nowadays…and for man’s hands to even reach my hips, was such a huge thing. LOL, I really used to be a goody goody sha.
-I remember when babes used to borrow baffs and it wasn’t nothing. Your girl would call you and say ‘Men, e get this party on Saturday…can I borrow that your blue spaghetti stap top?’ and you’d say…’no problem, I’ll be home by 5pm so come and collect it’. Good ol’ days.
-I remember when not everyone had a cell phone and certainly not a home phone so sometimes the best way to contact some people was to call their neighbors house and the neighbor kwa would go and find them…but ultimately, the lack of phones strengthened our friendships as we were forced to go and visit each other.
-I remember ‘chancing’ at Naija parties. You would be dancing with a guy and another guy would come and chance the guy that you were dancing with. Ha Ha! Try that in Yankee and see if someone don’t kerk out on your a-z-z. Oh, and guys used to actually dance with guys and it wasn’t nothing…now all this homophobic kini don reared it’s head.
-I remember as bigz babez we did not want to be caught dead on an Okada but you had to get to where you were going so we would hop on it and take style to hide our face… unless you were like the konk ajebo that had a car and driver at your disposal 24/7. But don’t knock Okada o, na on top Okada wey some babes dey meet their man. I mean…imagine you on top the Okada with your cascading waves of weave flying in the wind, na so some bobos go just tell their driver… ‘follow that bike’ and that is how this girl I know met her husband. True talk. :-D
-I remember those summer lessons. PH in the house? E get one reigning lesson wey dey for 2nd artillery abi na Rumuodara, one of them sha o. Me my work at that lesson was to wear my latest baffs and look cute. I used to skip classes like a good # of the time sotay one of the teachers actually came to visit my mom and report me. I just denied am sharp sharp! LOLThat lesson was totally hitting sha o. Na there wey babes dey find summer boo and what not. Ahhh memories.
-I remember going to buy soda a.k.a mineral and you would have to carry a bottle to give the mallam or return his own bottle. Or when guests would come and you would make a quick run to buy them one bottle of mineral. My mom gave up on buying crates of mineral because it would be gone within 2 days. And stuff like Five Alive and Just Juice? That was a complete luxury. Hahahaha…America good sha ooo.
Man so many memories sha and there is more where that came from. I know without a doubt that I had one of the best childhoods evAr and I continue to look back on those days with fond memories.
What do YOU remember about the good ol’ days?
*Edit:- I just had to call all you guys out...you know the ones that used to approach babes at parties and say 'excuse me dance'. Yes ooo, I remember y'all. Olu, Webround, Bagucci...make una come confess oooo.
Funny story, e dey this Aba bobo wey don watch too much Gangsta movies, na hin he con see one babe wey just return from Yanks at one party and so going off his gangsta lessons hin con approach the babe and said...'let's dance Bitch' in a very igbotic accent. *Dead*
-I remember growing up and my parents were on the strict side. Who born the maga wey wan collect boyfie at 15, 16? So when guys wanted to call me, I would tell them to call my house and ask for my brother, just in case my parents picked up the phone…so that if such a thing occurred, my bros would use style and pass the phone to me when they weren’t looking. Chei, one day my mama caught me sha o. Hahahahhaha…now it’s heelarious how she calls me now asking who the dudes in my life are. LMAO
-I remember when we used terms like ‘Omo that guy dey razzle me’, or that guy dey ‘chyke’ me. ‘Toasting’ still reigns though. Who dey toast una now oooo?
-I remember when guys used to put effort into ‘toasting’ babes. As in, dem go make arrangements to scoop you up, carry you to Mr. Biggs while you blushed over your meatpie and fanta and he would drop lyrics laik say nah hin be the reigning emcee on the block.
-I remember when the toasting stage would lead to the ‘asking out’ stage and as a bigz babez, you had to form o. There was no way a guy would ask you to be his girl and you would instantly reply with a ‘yes’. We always said…’let me think about it’, even though you know say you go marry am if hin propose sef. Of course you would use like 1-2 days to think about it while the bobo’s heart would be beating rapidly. Chai! In this day and age, do guys still ask women to be their girl sef? Hahahahahaha.
-And speaking of being toasted, I remember the goody bags that toasters would bring. I remember when I used to go to lesson and this toaster of mine brought a goody bag filled with cookies a.k.a biscuit, candy a.k.a sweets and chocolate, five alive etc etc and all my friends gathered around me oooh-ing and aah-ing and of course some people wanted to just join and chop the food. When I come tell the bobo say I no want, his friends called me oh talkin’ bout…’after all the money that he spent on you. He spent N700 to buy you those goodies’. LMAO…then N700 was a big deal sha o.
-I remember all those baffs that used to reign. Pedal pushers, elbow tops, hipsters, spaghetti strap…you name it! Kai, e get some babes wey dey operate on some strictly DIE HARD movement, as in dem go carry long sleeved top to the tailor make hin adjust am to instantly produce an elbow top. Voila! Or they would cut leggings into pedal pushers. Hahahaha…it’s quite funny how we were all so into the latest trends then and these days some people couldn’t care less.
-I remember when guys used to actually write love letters and some of those extra ones who would be singing on the phone. LMAO.
-I remember when we would go to parties and after a while they would turn off the light talking about ‘it’s time to dance blues’, and all we prudish babes would quickly go and find our seat, after all good girls like us did not dance blues with no guy. And for the girls that remained standing, we would gist about them the next day talking about… ‘That Nneka is a bad girl o! She was dancing serious blues with Tommy at that party…’. HahahahahaBut on the real, speaking of dancing…we used to maintain a safe distance will dancing, none of that backing up like they are sexing on the dancefloor type of steez that one sees nowadays…and for man’s hands to even reach my hips, was such a huge thing. LOL, I really used to be a goody goody sha.
-I remember when babes used to borrow baffs and it wasn’t nothing. Your girl would call you and say ‘Men, e get this party on Saturday…can I borrow that your blue spaghetti stap top?’ and you’d say…’no problem, I’ll be home by 5pm so come and collect it’. Good ol’ days.
-I remember when not everyone had a cell phone and certainly not a home phone so sometimes the best way to contact some people was to call their neighbors house and the neighbor kwa would go and find them…but ultimately, the lack of phones strengthened our friendships as we were forced to go and visit each other.
-I remember ‘chancing’ at Naija parties. You would be dancing with a guy and another guy would come and chance the guy that you were dancing with. Ha Ha! Try that in Yankee and see if someone don’t kerk out on your a-z-z. Oh, and guys used to actually dance with guys and it wasn’t nothing…now all this homophobic kini don reared it’s head.
-I remember as bigz babez we did not want to be caught dead on an Okada but you had to get to where you were going so we would hop on it and take style to hide our face… unless you were like the konk ajebo that had a car and driver at your disposal 24/7. But don’t knock Okada o, na on top Okada wey some babes dey meet their man. I mean…imagine you on top the Okada with your cascading waves of weave flying in the wind, na so some bobos go just tell their driver… ‘follow that bike’ and that is how this girl I know met her husband. True talk. :-D
-I remember those summer lessons. PH in the house? E get one reigning lesson wey dey for 2nd artillery abi na Rumuodara, one of them sha o. Me my work at that lesson was to wear my latest baffs and look cute. I used to skip classes like a good # of the time sotay one of the teachers actually came to visit my mom and report me. I just denied am sharp sharp! LOLThat lesson was totally hitting sha o. Na there wey babes dey find summer boo and what not. Ahhh memories.
-I remember going to buy soda a.k.a mineral and you would have to carry a bottle to give the mallam or return his own bottle. Or when guests would come and you would make a quick run to buy them one bottle of mineral. My mom gave up on buying crates of mineral because it would be gone within 2 days. And stuff like Five Alive and Just Juice? That was a complete luxury. Hahahaha…America good sha ooo.
Man so many memories sha and there is more where that came from. I know without a doubt that I had one of the best childhoods evAr and I continue to look back on those days with fond memories.
What do YOU remember about the good ol’ days?
*Edit:- I just had to call all you guys out...you know the ones that used to approach babes at parties and say 'excuse me dance'. Yes ooo, I remember y'all. Olu, Webround, Bagucci...make una come confess oooo.
Funny story, e dey this Aba bobo wey don watch too much Gangsta movies, na hin he con see one babe wey just return from Yanks at one party and so going off his gangsta lessons hin con approach the babe and said...'let's dance Bitch' in a very igbotic accent. *Dead*
Sunday, August 23, 2009
In my rant of the day...
Contrary to the whole concept of being a tried and true 'Mgbeke', my speaking/understanding of the Igbo language truly does suck.
I grew up in Port Harcourt (obviously a non-Igbo speaking town), and within our household, my parents spoke English to us kiddies. Going off to a feddy school in the East, I had high hopes of picking up some Igbo but *ahem*, my school was filled with a whole bunch of Ajebo women from Lagos and such places, and it wasn't much Igbo speaking that was going on around those parts. It is what it is...
I grew up in Port Harcourt (obviously a non-Igbo speaking town), and within our household, my parents spoke English to us kiddies. Going off to a feddy school in the East, I had high hopes of picking up some Igbo but *ahem*, my school was filled with a whole bunch of Ajebo women from Lagos and such places, and it wasn't much Igbo speaking that was going on around those parts. It is what it is...
So it really does kill me when people make asinine statements such as 'How can you be proud of the fact that you can't speak your language' or 'Your parents didn't raise your right' or 'Wow, it's such a shame that you can't speak your language'. I mean, WHO BORN THE MAGA? Seriously, you don't even want to go there with me when it comes to whose parents raised them right 'cos If I decide to light into you and your entire household, na fight wey go start o.
To be honest, I'm not proud of the fact that I can't speak/understand much Igbo...and at the same time, I am not ashamed of it. It's a neutral feeling on my part but I would love to learn and currently have a (slacker) tutor. Ha, bless his heart... so it really elicts a WTF comment and absolutely gets my blood boiling when people just come at me with such blanket statements. Okay, so you think because your Igbo is top notch and mine isn't that you are more Igbo than I am? Motherchoker please!
E get this bobo on FaceBook wey recently updated his status talking about...'You call yourself Igbo, yet you can't speak your language. You are ignorant' and me being the defender of all non-Igbo speaking Igbo people that I am, made the mistake of trying to get him to see things from another perspective. *Ahem*...let's just say that it was a total waste of energy and at the end of it all, I really had to practice the whole taking a deep breath and woooosah-ing 'cos if my temper had gotten the best of me, Mark Zuckerberg for ban me from that Facebook. LMAO...
I mean seriously, such people get on my everloving last nerve.
Ahhh but I haven't always won the Mgbeke vs. Her temper battle. Once upon a time, there was a nice young man that I used to 'chit chat' with. One day, I met his sister and from the moment she met me and started blasting Igbo, I gave her the heads up...'I'm sorry, my Igbo isn't as top notch as yours'. Now you'd think that she would have digested the info and at least waited for me to leave before she started talking smack but no o! She kept on going on and on and on about it until I had absolutely had it UP to here and so I lit into her and let her have it. Long story short, at the end of it all...the man X'ed me from his 'chit chat' list and I earned some kind of reputation as 'that crazy bitch' among some of ze family members who had witnessed me finishing the dear lil sister. Mchewwwwww... I mean, this is how World war dey start o. Anyway, no long thing.
So yeah, when I meet a lot of Igbo folk and the topic of speaking Igbo and what not comes up, my guard is automatically up and I'm on defense mode. Get off your high horses my people, 'cos you can speak A and I can't speak it don't make you better than me, neither does it make you more Igbo than me and if you absolutely do not want to piss me off and make me say something that you don't want to hear, then cease and desist from making your mickifrickin' blanket statements. Bunch of Nincompoops!
It's all good sha, I still circle bi-lingual on forms...after all pidgin is a whole 'nother language on it's own and I'm pretty fluent at that one. :-D
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